D EC E M B E R 2022 | JAN UARY 2023

Velvet!
Glitter!
Gold!

£2 .99

Lindsay
Lohan
The interview
you’ve been
waiting for

’Tis the season to
dress like a disco
ball – here’s how
to do it in style

All buzz,
no booze

The alcohol-free
drinks that will
legit get you tipsy

Holidays
really are
coming…
…and you
will be too,
thanks to p122

(We know, we tested them)

Sexists
and their
superfans
Is the male mental health
crisis making misogyny
go mainstream?

*cough*

‘I can’t
go out ,
I’m sick’
How to cancel
plans and, you
know, not lose
all your friends

D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 2 /J A N U A R Y 2 0 2 3

Street style secrets
Page 38

play 9 glow 19 style 33
move 45 buzz without
booze 45 relax 55
cancel your plans 58
gift guide 61 lindsay
lohan 66 the rise of
the mega misogynist
76 could you put a price
on starting a family? 88
the cosmo beauty
awards 94 love 115
the art of a social
media split 118
the last page 130

Party boots
Page 104

Beauty Awards
Page 94

Snacks on sticks
Page 55

C O V E R P H O T O G R A P H Y: E L L E N V O N U N W E R T H
STYLING: CASSIE ANDERSON

Hair: DJ Quintero for Living Proof at The Wall Group. Make-up: Kristofer Buckle at Crosby Carter Management. Manicure: Elle Gerstein at Crosby Carter Management.
Props: Chelsea Maruskin at Art Department. Location: Roxy Cinema New York. To get Lindsay’s look, try True Match Hyaluronic Tinted Serum, Infallible Pro-Last Waterproof
Pencil Eyeliner in Black, Telescopic Original Mascara in Black, Unbelievabrow Longwear Waterproof Brow Gel and Colour Riche Reds of Worth Satin Lipstick in Lovely Red,
all by L’Oréal Paris. Lindsay wears: tuxedo jacket, waistcoat and trousers, all Alexandre Vauthier; necklace, Nicola Rose; rings, Chopard and Lindsay’s own
C o s m o p o l i ta n

3

The
Cosmo Quiz
Lindsay Lohan edition
BEST ADVICE I’VE
EVER BEEN GIVEN

THE MOST SPONTANEOUS
THING I’VE EVER DONE

THE MOVIE OF MINE THAT
I WISH HAD A SEQUEL

MY DREAM ROLES

PHOTOGRAPHY: ELLEN VON UNWERTH. FASHION: CASSIE ANDERSON. HAIR: DJ QUINTERO FOR LIVING PROOF AT THE WALL GROUP. MAKE-UP: KRISTOFER
BUCKLE AT CROSBY CARTER MANAGEMENT. MANICURE: ELLE GERSTEIN AT CROSBY CARTER MANAGEMENT. PROPS: CHELSEA MARUSKIN AT ART DEPARTMENT.
LOCATION: ROXY CINEMA, NEW YORK. LINDSAY WEARS: DRESS AND BOOTS, BOTH ALEXANDRE VAUTHIER; EARRINGS, CAROLINA NEVES; RING, SAUER

I’M DYING TO MAKE
A FILM WITH...

From the editor
I – like many of you, I’m sure – can’t wait for Christmas. Cosy nights
down the pub, lazy duvet days, the excuse to buy something far too
glam for the other 11 months of the year and, tbh, a few extra days off
work. [Hi to my boss if you’re reading this. I love my job, but I also
really love my sofa, okay?]
But one common theme emerged when we were putting the cover
for this issue together: I realised I’m not the only one who is kinda
ready for a smaller, less frantic and altogether chill-er festive season
than years gone by. One where quality time with my very nearest and
dearest matters much more than a packed social schedule that will
leave me in a hungover heap crying
at the It Feels Like Christmas scene in
The Muppet Christmas Carol.
(p37). Loading your queue with
Well, the next generation of
every festive film going? We sat
alcohol-free drinks aren’t just sans
down with the star of Netflix’s
booze, they actually promise to
Falling For Christmas, the one and
simulate that tipsy feeling, minus the
only Lindsay Lohan, who opens
morning-after hangxiety. Yeah, we
up about her life in the spotlight on
were sceptical, too – so we put them
p66. And, for the nights you do
to the test for you on p45. Feeling
want to go big, we’ve got you
that ‘I’ve definitely over-booked
covered – from how to perfect the
myself’ dread? Learn how to cancel
glossiest lips, to the partywear just
your plans without p*ssing anyone
screaming to be danced in (on
off (p58). Ready to break up with
your bed or in the bar).
your heels and confess your undying
S o, go for th and have the
love for flats? You’re not the only one
Christmas and New Year’s Eve
that feels right for you, not the one
you feel pressured to have.

AND THE FORMER
CO-STAR I’D LOVE TO
WORK WITH AGAIN IS...

HOW I UNWIND

FAVOURITE YEAR
OF MY LIFE SO FAR

THE THING THAT MAKES ME
FORGET ABOUT THE WORLD

Claire Hodgson
EDITOR-IN- CHIEF

C o s m o p o l i ta n

5

What’s
your best
hangover
cure?

A bowl of porridge,
a pint of water
and paracetamol
before bed.

Eating three days’ worth
of food in two hours.

There isn’t one after 27.
It’s pure suffering until
5pm, when you find the
strength to eat... Five
Guys and a Coke, obvs!

Chilling with my friends
and laughing about the
night before. Sometimes
it ends up being more
fun than the actual
night out...

In Antigua, my go-to is
a day at the beach,
breathing in the fresh
sea air. Not as glam
here in the UK, but
works just as well.

CLAIRE HODGSON
Editor-in-Chief
Executive Editor JESS EDWARDS
Creative Director DECLAN FAHY
Workflow Director CARLY LEVY
Digital Editor ZOE SHENTON
Entertainment
Entertainment Editor
DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT
Senior Entertainment & Lifestyle Writer
LYDIA VENN
Editorial Assistant & Junior Writer
EMILY GULLA
Features
Features Director HARRIET HALL
Commissioning Director CATRIONA INNES
Features Editor JENNIFER SAVIN
Sex & Relationships Editor PAIGE VAHLA
Features Writer JADE BIGGS
Features Intern CHLOE BOWEN
Design
Art Director WILL JACK
Digital Design Editor JAIME LEE
Art Editor NATHALIE BATES
Art Editor REBECCA BRIDLE
Art Editor JADE COOPER-COLLINS
Art Editor JESSICA WEBB
Designer SOPHIE BROWN
Designer FLORENCE OGRAM
Pictures
Photographic Director RACHAEL CLARK
Photographic Director EMILY MURPHY
Picture Editor SARAH ANDERSON
Picture Editor SHANA LYNCH
Picture Researcher SALLY PRICE
Production
Group Chief Sub Editor/Production Editor
VICTORIA RUDLAND
Deputy Chief Sub Editor MATT BLACKWELL
Deputy Chief Sub Editor JAMES BROWN
Sub Editor KIRTEY VERMA
Beauty
Beauty Director VICTORIA JOWETT
Deputy Beauty Editor HANNA IBRAHEEM
Beauty Assistant LIA MAPPOURA
Fashion
Fashion Director SASKIA QUIRKE
Fashion Editor NATASHA HARDING
Bookings Editor SOPHIE LEEN
Shopping Editor MADDY ALFORD
Fashion Assistant COURTNEY SMITH
Social & Video
Head of Social SOPHIE BOYDEN
Video Lead ALEX HERING
Deputy Social Media Manager KIERA EGAN
Videographer TYRA CHUCK
Contributors
LOTTIE LUMSDEN (Group Talent Director)
OLIVIA BLAIR (Group Talent Editor)
AMANDA STATHAM (Travel) KEEKS REID (Beauty)
LAUREN NICOLE COPPIN CAMPBELL (Fashion)

HE ARST UK
Interim CEO SIMON HORNE
Finance Director JULIEN LITZELMANN
Chief People Officer SURINDER SIMMONS
Director of Operations SOPHIE WILKINSON
Chief International Brand Officer MATT HAYES
Group Brand Director STEVEN MILES
Director of PR & Communications ALISON FORTH
Editorial Business Director CONNIE OSBORNE
Business Strategy Director ROMAIN METRAS
Editorial Business Manager DAVID FOSTER
Digital Development Director MATT HILL

Hearst Solutions
Chief Commercial Officer JANE WOLFSON
Head of Partnerships MARK MCCAFFERTY
Head of Clients JAMIE DOUBLEDAY
Head of Digital Sales RYAN BUCKLEY
Head of Fashion, Beauty & Luxury SARAH TSIRKAS
Head of Travel DENISE DEGROOT
Head of Entertainment & Technology KELLY WARNELL
Head of Food & Drink TIM ROSENBERG
Head of Regional LISA BHATTI
Client Director, Health & Wellness NATASHA BAILEY
Client Director, Fashion CHRIS HEALY (maternity cover)
Client Director, Beauty LEE BAILEY
Watches & Jewellery Manager OLIVIA HORROCKS-BURNS
Director of Commercial Production WILL VILLE
Art Director, Branded Content MAIREAD GLEESON
Head of Media Planning LUCY PORTER
Senior Media Planning Manager BETH RONAN

Fashion’s
golden age has
arrived (p33)
Ring, £57,
Hey Harper

Communications & PR
Head of PR & Communications BEN BOLTON
PR & Communications Manager CALUM FORBES

Consumer Sales & Marketing
Chief Consumer Revenue Officer REID HOLLAND
Senior Consumer Revenue Director JAMES HILL
Head of Subscriptions, Marketing & Circulation
JUSTINE BOUCHER
Digital Marketing & CRM Director SEEMA KUMARI

Hearst Magazines International
President, Hearst Magazines International
JONATHAN WRIGHT
Senior Vice President/Global Editorial & Brand Director
KIM ST CLAIR BODDEN
Global Editorial & Brand Director CHLOE O’BRIEN
Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan (1965-1997)
HELEN GURLEY BROWN

International Editions
Bulgaria, China, Czech Republic, France, Germany,
Hong Kong, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Italy, Japan,
Korea, Mexico, Middle East, Netherlands, Philippines,
Slovenia, Spain, Taiwan, Ukraine, USA

For all advertising enquiries, go to hearst.co.uk/brands/cosmopolitan. For all PR enquiries, email pressenquiries@hearst.co.uk. For all event enquiries, contact hearstevents@hearst.co.uk.
Already a subscriber? Visit hearstmagazines.co.uk/managemyaccount to update your contact details, renew your subscription and find out when your next issue is due to be delivered.
Contact us at hearstmagazines.co.uk/contact-us. Call us on 01858 438439. Lines open weekdays, 8am-9.30pm; Saturdays, 8am-4pm. Please note: You can also contact us regarding new subscriptions and back issues.

Cosmopolitan UK is printed in
Poland by Quad/Graphics Europe
and distributed by Frontline Ltd,
Peterborough (01733 555161)

This magazine can be recycled either through your kerbside
collection, or at a local recycling point. Log on to recyclenow.com
and enter your postcode to find your nearest sites.

Cosmopolitan UK is a member of the Independent Press Standards Organisation (which regulates the UK’s magazine and newspaper industry.) We abide by the Editors’ Code of Practice and are committed to upholding
the highest standards of journalism. If you think that we have not met those standards and want to make a complaint, please email complaints@hearst.co.uk or visit hearst.co.uk/hearst-magazines-uk-complaints-procedure.
If we are unable to resolve your complaint, or if you would like more information about IPSO or the Editors’ Code, contact IPSO on 0300 123 2220 or visit ipso.co.uk.
Cosmopolitan UK is published in the UK by The National Magazine Company Limited. House of Hearst, 30 Panton Street, London SW1Y 4AJ. Copyright ©, The National Magazine
Company Limited, 2022. All rights reserved. ISSN 0141-0555. Published six times a year. Conditions apply. Cosmopolitan is a trademark of Hearst Magazines Inc., 300 West 57th
Street, New York NY 10019, USA. COSMO is a trademark of The National Magazine Company Limited.
C o s m o p o l i ta n

7

An oral history of

Which romcom
queen are you?

Build your own cheesy

Pitch Perfect’s Cups

Is Christmas TV

Page 12

Christmas movie

Page 14

officially over?

Page 13

Page 17

play

Name a
better duo:
you and
your sofa
Whether you’re going out
or staying in, we’ve got
your winter plans sorted
W O R D S : E M I LY G U L L A

C o s m o p o l i ta n

9

P L AY

The playlist

Roald Dahl’s
Matilda The
Musical
In cinemas (25 Nov) and
on Netflix (2 Dec)

Emma Thompson (Miss
Trunchbull) and Lashana
Lynch (Miss Honey) star in
this film version of the
massive West End hit,
adapted from Dahl’s classic.
With incredible music by
Tim Minchin, we’re ready
for a singalong.

The Witcher: Blood Origin

The English

I Hate Suzie Too

All episodes on BBC
iPlayer, 10 November

Premiering on Sky
Atlantic, December

Forget period dramas:
we’re turning our attention
to westerns. Emily Blunt stars
as Lady Cornelia Locke,
with Twilight’s Chaske
Spencer as Native American
ex-cavalry scout Eli Whipp.
The pair face a series of
increasingly terrifying
obstacles that will test them
to their limits, in a story of
race, love and power.

Billie Piper is back as former
child star Suzie Pickles in
what promises to be an
‘anti-Christmas Christmas
special’. The three-part
series sees Suzie trying to
salvage her career and
reputation by entering a
reality TV competition
called Dance Crazee. New
cast members include
It’s A Sin’s Omari Douglas.

10

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Fans of The Witcher,
rejoice: there’s a prequel
series coming your way.
Set 1,200 years before
the events of the original,
Blood Origin takes things
right back to the beginning
– tracking the mystical
history of the Continent
and the creation of the
first witcher. Michelle
Yeoh, Sophia Brown and
Nathaniel Curtis star.
Expect epic fight scenes.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MIA ANDRÉ, GETTY IMAGES

Premiering 25 December, Netflix

P L AY

The playlist

Get lit

Mad Honey by
Jo di Picoult and
Jennifer Finney
B oylan, out now

Kehlani - Blue
Water Road
Trip Tour
UK venues, 4 to 12
December

To support the release of
their album Blue Water
Road, Kehlani is touring the
UK – playing London,
Glasgow, Birmingham and
Manchester. The perfect
beach-themed escape
from the winter chill.
Go to kehlani.com/tour
for tickets.

Falling For
Christmas
Premiering
10 November, Netflix

Christmas + Lindsay Lohan
= two of our favourite things.
She stars as a newly
engaged hotel heiress who
suffers amnesia after a
skiing mishap. On hand to
care for her is a handsome
lodge owner (Glee’s Chord
Overstreet) and his
daughter. Do we sense
a happy ending?

Olivia’s son is
arrested on suspicion
of murdering his
girlfriend.

Really Good,
Actually by
Monica Heisey,
19 January
The Schitt’s Creek
screenwriter’s debut
novel is a funny and
honest look at love
and divorce.

RuPaul’s
DragCon UK
ExCel Centre, London,
6 to 8 January

RuPaul is heading to the
UK for the ultimate drag
culture celebration. Expect
appearances from your
favourite queens in the flesh,
with the likes of A’Whora,
Baga Chipz and The
Vivienne already signed
up. Mama Ru herself also
brings a DJ set to the
Main Stage. What more
could you ask for? This is
a new year’s treat you
won’t want to miss.

The Things That
We Los t by J yot i
Pa tel, 12 Januar y
Nik sets out to unlock
the secrets of the
late father he never
met. A tender tale of
family and loss.

Driving Home
For Christmas by
Joanna Bolouri,
1 0 N ove m b e r
What could be more
festive than this
romance?

C o s m o p o l i ta n

11

P L AY

B i g q u i z e n e rg y

Which classic rom-com
queen are you?
Maid In Manhattan was first released 20 whole
years ago, cementing Jennifer Lopez (aka Affleck) as
a rom-com icon. But when it comes to your own
dating diaries, are you more Marisa or Bridget Jones?

S a ll y Al br ig ht –
M e g R ya n

WORDS: CARINA HSIEH

QUESTION

A

B

C

D

What’s the first
thing your eyes
zap to on a
dating profile?

The bio. Can I talk
to this person for
the rest of my life?
Do I want to?

Ambition. I want
someone with big
dreams. Looking
for an equal.

LOL. I don’t have
the emotional
bandwidth to be on
dating apps rn.

Red flags, baby.
Anything that
indicates they’re
going to cheat.

Your worst
group chat
behaviour is:

Having the hot take
on a thing everyone
else agrees on.

Judgemental?
Me? I’m firm
but fair.

Spewing unsolicited
advice and/or
typing, ‘If I were
you…’

Your friends never
set you up with
people because
they’re like:

‘You’re too picky.’

‘No one will be
good enough.’

Mostly As

‘Everyone is
intimidated by you.’

Nothing gets you ~in
the mood~ like sexual
tension served with
a steaming side of
contempt. It’s a
privilege to argue
with you.

Mostly Bs
Cancelling plans.
Oops.

La u re n H a r r i s –
Ta ra j i P H e n s o n

‘I have tried. SO.
MANY. TIMES.’

You’re a hard nut to
crack and have a
gazillion options, but
you do go after what
you want (when you
realise you want it).

Mostly Cs
Your living
situation is:

Pinterest hygge
goals.

Which kind of
niche writerly
profession
speaks to you?

Local newspaper
reporter. I want to
make people cry
over missing dogs.

All mine. I worked
hard for this
and it shows.

Particular, efficient
and exactly where
you’d want to sleep.

The introvert’s lair.
Blankets, takeaways
and dreaming
about my soulmate.

I’m all business.
Side hustle
advice, sorted.

Ghostwriting my
idol Michelle
Obama’s latest
memoir.

I document my life
in my newsletter.
Three subscribers
= #ad deals, right?

M a r i s a Ve nt u ra –
J e n ni fe r Lo p e z
Your friends come
to you for everything
from partner
problems to period
pain (you definitely
have paracetamol
at all times). Life
would probably be
a shambles without
your expertise.

Mostly Ds
Is something broken?
Unclear. Will you
try to fix it anyway?
Most definitely. You
love a project. Good
luck turning that
Hugh Grant into
a Colin Firth.

12

C o s m o p o l i ta n

PHOTOGRAPHY: MOVIESTILLSDB.COM

B r i d g et J o n e s –
Re n é e Ze l l we g e r

P L AY

Fe s t i ve f i l m s

The inspiration
for your next tattoo
will come from:

BOO

YO U

Your dog’s
name, obviously
CHRISTMAS
The zodiac
FESTIVUS
Your Instagram
saved pictures
DECEMBER
A quote you love
HOLIDAY

+

Your very
accurate
cheesy
Christmas
film title
generator
’Tis the season for
an adorable meet-cute

Your
Hollywood Chris
of choice is:

+
Pine

INCREDIBLY

Hemsworth
DELIGHTFULLY
Five Guys
SECRETIVE

PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES

WORDS: ELIZABETH ANN ENTENMAN

Don’t lie, you live for sugary dialogue,
campy plot points and wildly predictable
endings. The only thing better would be
if one of these gems was all about... you.
Could you find love in an unexpected
place or reconnect with a high school
sweetheart? The answer is yes. Follow
the prompts on the right and thread
together the red text to discover the
name of this very personal, maybe a little
nonsensical film. (Mine, FYI: Incredibly
Dashing December Reunion.)

Which fastfood fries would
you commit
crimes for?

McDonald’s
MIRACULOUS
Pratt
SUDDENLY

Burger King
DASHING
KFC
JOLLY

Evans
TRULY

+

LEON
FANCY

Which Beyoncé
album produced
the best screamthe-lyrics-whiledancing/crying
bangers?

Dangerously
In Love
WEDDING
4
BABY
B’Day
MIRACLE
I Am…
Sasha Fierce
ENGAGEMENT
Renaissance
SWITCH
Lemonade
REUNION

C o s m o p o l i ta n

13

P L AY C o s m o Rew i n d

Pitch Perfect made
Cups the song you’ll
never get out of your
head. Here’s how…
For the film’s 10th anniversary,
Anna Kendrick and a bunch
of the cast and crew tell you
an almost unbelievable story

efore 2012, you probably
never once tried to slam
a cup on a table in rapid
succession to see what
sound it would make or
ever thought to google
‘a cappella groups at [insert
the name of your university]’.
But with a hilarious take on
the surprisingly cut-throat world of college singing
competitions that was like Glee but (hot take)
funnier, Pitch Perfect changed all of that. On top of
making $115million (approx £103million) at the box
office, it also gave us a she’s-a-movie-star-now
performance by Anna Kendrick; the absolute banger
of a line, ‘I’m gonna kill him! I’m gonna finish him like
a cheesecake’; and the true phenomenon here, Cups .
The refresher you probably don’t need: in the
film, Kendrick sits onstage in a dark auditorium to
perform the song as her audition for The Bellas.
And even though her routine lasts just 30 seconds,
14

C o s m o p o l i ta n

it was a big-enough deal to prompt a single on the
film’s soundtrack and a stand-alone music video
– which now has upwards of 639million YouTube
views. Basically, it’s the type of viral sensation that
would have taken over TikTok – had TikTok existed
back then – and maybe still will, given the fact
that a new show set in the Pitch Perfect universe,
Bumper In Berlin, just dropped in the US (UK
release details are TBC). In the meantime, please
enjoy this ultimate behind-the-scenes experience.

Kendrick first saw a video of the folk-pop
song Cups (When I’m Gone) by musical duo
Lulu and the Lampshades on Reddit, where
it hadn’t got much traction. She studied its
clap-smack-table choreography – at that
point, basically just a party trick – before
auditioning for the role of Beca.
ANNA KENDRICK (ACTOR, BECA):
I spent a day annoying my roommate and teaching
myself to do this thing with this cup. So when the

PHOTOGRAPHY: COURTESY UNIVERSAL PICTURES/PETER LOVINO

WORDS: ILANA K APLAN

P L AY

C o s m o Rew i n d

Pitch Perfect folks needed me to sing something to
make sure I didn’t sound like a dying cat, I thought,
There’s this weird thing that I can do, so why not?
Because that’ll be a good use of those several
hours that I wasted.
MAX HANDELMAN (PRODUCER): Every actor
was required to come up with their own song. There
was a heavy amount of Lady Gaga and Adele. But
Anna came in and said, ‘I didn’t have a lot of time to
prepare, but I saw this really cool song online,’ and
then she sat down at this table and did Cups . It was
obvious that it was a great song and different from
everything we were hearing.
JASON MOORE (DIRECTOR): We knew we
wanted [Kendrick’s character] Beca to sing
something contrary in the movie for her audition
for The Bellas. Everyone else is singing a Kelly
Clarkson song, and we wanted her to do something
slightly unique or a little bit ‘fuck you’. She was
supposed to sing I’m a Little Teapot, but I thought,
why don’t we just put Cups in the movie?
KENDRICK: Jason and I were debating trying
to put it in the shower scene, where I ended up
singing Titanium , by David Guetta featuring Sia.
Like, maybe I was doing it with a shampoo bottle
or something, but we ended up feeling like the
best place for it was in Beca’s audition.
ANNA CAMP (ACTOR, AUBREY): When we were
shooting, I had to be Aubrey instead of myself and
act a little less impressed than I was because Anna
Camp, the actress, was actually very impressed.

Choosing the exact right kind of cup to film
was its own challenge. Kendrick and Moore
were practically a couple of cup hoarders
trying to find the best. There was, of course,
a debate about Solo cups.
KENDRICK: Jason and I would steal every cup we
found lying around that might be a different texture
or material and therefore might produce a different
sound. For people who’ve tried it, I’m sure they’ve
discovered very quickly that if you just do it with
a red Solo cup, it doesn’t sound very good.
HANDELMAN: There was a lot of internal debate
about whether we could use a red cup or a yellow
cup because cups were synonymous with drinking

‘Someone walked up to me at the
White House Correspondents’
Dinner, shoved a glass in my face,
and they were like, “Do Cups”’

Anna Kendrick on the set of the Cups
video, which 300 people auditioned for

beer and fraternity parties, and the Motion Picture
Association had a lot of restrictions because the
film was marketed to younger kids.
KENDRICK: Jason and I had a bag full of cups that
we then started banging on the stage to figure out
which was the right one. So we were like, ‘Let’s make
it Anna Camp and Brittany Snow’s cup of pens.’ I steal
it off their table, and that’s how I started doing it.

Cups became the most iconic part of the film and
practically begged for its own Big Thing. It got
it, in the form of a stand-alone music video with
Kendrick’s character working as a baker in the
back of a diner. As she daydreams about leaving
her job, she – and the customers – pass the time
by clapping and smacking cups on the table.
MOORE: Somebody had the idea to set Cups
to music to do a Lumineers sound – that kind of
American folk sound that was on pop stations.
The song went either double platinum or triple
platinum. That became a radio track, which,
again, shocked everyone to death. So it was like,
‘Well, let’s make a music video for it.’

C o s m o p o l i ta n

15

P L AY C o s m o Rew i n d

KENDRICK: Look, I’ll be honest, when they first
floated the idea of doing a music video, I was like,
‘What are you guys talking about? That’s so strange.’
MOORE: It was an unusual opportunity to make
a music video to an American folk song. We had
open-call auditions. I think 300 people showed
up, from five years old all the way to 80.
AAKOMON JONES (CHOREOGRAPHER):
Part of the audition was bringing in people to
see how they do their own version of Cups ,
because it had obviously become such a popular
thing by that point.

KENDRICK: My roommate at the time is an extra
in the music video. He’s the guy in the blue shirt
and the brown hoodie.

Kendrick’s fame skyrocketed in the wake of the
video, and the runaway success of Cups was
in part responsible for making two more Pitch
Perfect films happen.
KENDRICK: Someone walked up to me at the
White House Correspondents’ Dinner, shoved
a glass in my face, took out their phone, and they
were like, ‘Do Cups .’ It was the wildest thing. It’s
a fancy party, and I would have shattered the
glass into a million pieces if I tried.

‘To this day, parents will
give me the stink eye
because their kid won’t
stop doing Cups’
KAY CANNON (SCREENWRITER): Cups symbolised
how this strange film that took a while to be made
led to this sensation. It represents the success of
the franchise, and I think that’s what we needed.
Because I’d have a hard time selling that film now.

16

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Anna Kendrick and Jason Moore on the set of Pitch Perfect ,
where, she says, they were a couple of cup hoarders

CAMP: Musical movies were big for a very long
time, and then things died down. But Pitch Perfect
brought it back in a fresh way that we hadn’t seen
before. It was more reality-based than a fantasy
version – it made the genre more accessible to
a younger generation that wasn’t used to watching
music in movies.

Ten years later, Cups is still a phenomenon. It has
inspired many other pop culture moments and,
yes, that new spin-off. Pitch Perfect: Bumper
In Berlin will follow Bumper Allen (actor Adam
Devine) as he tries to relaunch his music career.
Whether or not Bumper gets his own earworm
remains to be seen.
SARAH WEBSTER (MUSIC SUPERVISOR):
The success of Cups is similar to what Kate Bush
had this past summer, what Stranger Things did
for Running Up That Hill, which I remember from
the radio when I was a kid. It’s wonderful there’s
an entire new generation that recognises Kate’s
artistry and the beauty of her voice and her music.
LUISA GERSTEIN (LULU AND THE LAMPSHADES):
Tasha did Cups on Love Island recently. It continues
to reverberate. Me and Heloise Tunstall-Behrens of
the band bought an apartment together with the
money we got from Cups .
KENDRICK: To this day, parents will still give me the
stink eye because their kid won’t stop doing Cups.
And all I can say is, ‘I’m so sorry. I’m really sorry.’
MOORE: I get a lot of calls from friends of mine
who are like, ‘Thanks a lot.’

PHOTOGRAPHY: COURTESY UNIVERSAL PICTURES

MOORE: The day of the music video, Anna and
I agreed we didn’t want anyone to see her do it
beforehand so that it would surprise people and
we could record that as well. It’s a very genuine
look you’re getting from other actors when
they’re like, ‘Holy shit, she’s doing it.’ The idea
was, ‘Let’s show off Anna’s virtuosic abilities by
making her do the whole song in one take.’ It’s
just one shot interrupted by one cut or two cuts.
I knew she would be really good at that because
she’s so skilled and theatre is her background.

P L AY

R I P fe s t i ve te l l y

Is Christmas
TV dead as
we know it?
Once upon a time, December
meant prime-time talent
shows and festive specials.
But have streaming services
spelled the end of shared
TV experiences?

PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES; ALAMY; SHUTTERSTOCK; BBC/KIERON MCCARRON; BBC/GARY MOYES

W O R D S : I S A B E L L A S I LV E R S

When I worked in Topshop as a teenager, our Christmas
party almost always coincided with the X Factor final.
It was festivity at its finest: we’d all crowd around
the screen in our itchy sequins, prosecco glistening
in hand, and hold our breath as the winner was
announced. We’d screech – or groan – when the likes
of Matt Cardle or Sam Bailey won the coveted title,
before dancing the night away to the winner’s song
in a glam Birmingham nightclub.
Days later, I’d recreate a similar scene at home.
Only this time, after the presents were unwrapped
and the roast potatoes had been demolished, it was
the explosive EastEnders Christmas special we settled
down to devour, having googled a year’s worth of
storylines minutes before.
Fast-forward a decade or two, and things look a
little different. Simon Cowell’s singing competition
was cancelled in 2021, while last year’s final of I’m A
Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here lost five million viewers
compared with the year before. Meanwhile, our viewing
habits have changed completely; research shows 16 to
34-year-olds are watching less TV, instead gobbling
up content on YouTube and social media, while over
78% of UK consumers now watch streaming platforms.
With the likes of Prime Video and Disney+ to
turn to, we’re no longer agonising over finding that
perfect festive film on terrestrial TV. Just think of
the chokehold Vanessa Hudgens and Netflix had us
in with The Knight Before Christmas and The Princess
Switch (plus its two sequels,) not forgetting the A
Christmas Prince series. Then there was Dash & Lily,

Love Hard, Holidate… The list of films we can watch
whenever we feel the urge goes on.
While we may not all be watching the same thing at
the same time, we are still tuning in – it’s just the way
we do so has changed. In December 2021, Netflix’s Don’t
Look Up smashed records for the most hours streamed
in its first week of release, while 1.66billion minutes
of Soul were watched over two days on Disney+.
In fact, ensuring we’ve seen all the streaming
services have to offer so we can dissect every scene
with our friends or join the collective sigh of ‘cheese’
on Twitter is almost becoming
a December tradition in itself.
And isn’t this what the true
magic of Christmas specials
has always been, anyway?
Maybe it’s never been about
when or on what channel we’re
viewing TV, but the nature of
gathering a group together
(Quality Street in tow) and
having a shared experience.
While Christmases of the past have involved 10 days
of festive scheduling, the availability of festive content
from, essentially, whenever you like, creates even
more of a buzz. TV is there to be consumed however
you and your loved ones please, rather than having
to plan your day around the TV guide. For me? I’ll be
watching Netflix’s new Falling For Christmas and The
Noel Diary, and who knows, maybe a Gavin & Stacey
rerun in between.

We’re no longer
agonising over finding
that perfect festive
film on terrestrial TV

C o s m o p o l i ta n

17

Skincare saviours to
Perfect your pout with
our lip gloss guide

rescue any complexion

Diagnose your

Page 24

dandruff dilemma

Page 23

Page 28

PHOTOGRPAHY: MELISSA KAGERER

g l ow

Now is the time to play
with hair accessories
They’ve officially entered their main-character era
WORDS: CH LOE M ETZGE R

G LOW

Tre n d i n g

WH E N YOU WAN T
YOUR H AI R. ..

Check your feed –
decked-out hair is
having a resurgence.
But here’s what
the pics don’t tell
you: those ornate
headbands and
dainty pins and clips
are just for show. One
strong gust of wind
– or too-strong marg
– and your half-up
hairdo becomes a
whole-down by the
end of the night. The
unseen hero here is a
base of clear elastics
that covertly anchors
your style in place. If
you don’t already
have natural texture
(hi, braids and curls),
rake some texturising
paste through your
ends for a finish that
feels defined and
purposeful – not just
thrown together while
leaving the house
(even if it probably/
definitely was).

Your
Toolkit

20

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Kitsch
No-Snag
Clear Elastics,
£6 for 100

Ouai
Haircare
Matte
Pomade, £16

Tort
Lora Clip in
Moonstone
Leopard,
£26

Accessorize
Gem Hair Slide
6 Pack, £12

PHOTOGRAPHY: (THIS PAGE, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP) JACYNTH RODRIGUEZ; M K SADLER; COURTESY
SALON PARLOUR; COURTESY LELET NY; (OPPOSITE PAGE, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP) COURTESY AFROANI
LIMITED; COURTESY KRISTIN ESS HAIR; GETTY IMAGES; COURTESY KANEL; COURTESY LELET NY

Half
up

G LOW

W HE N YOU WA NT YO UR HA I R .. .

Tre n d i n g

All up
Your
Toolkit

Amika
Perk Up Dry
Shampoo, £20

Insert Name
Here (INH)
INH BB Pins,
£10 for 25

Chris Rubin
Alina French Hair
Pin in Champagne,
£19.80

Perfection is the enemy of a great updo. What you actually want is controlled chaos: major
texture, some loose ends, casually placed accessories, etc. The easiest way to recreate
IDGAF vibes is with dry shampoo (especially if you have slippery, too-clean hair) and kirby
grips. Blast your hair with dry shampoo for grit; twist, twirl, and smash your hair; then pin
the hell out of it to lock the ‘chill’ in place before adding your clips and hairslides.

Emi Jay
Big Effing Clip in
Brownstone, £32

C o s m o p o l i ta n

21

W H E N YOU WA NT
YO U R H A IR . . .

All accessories need
a little TLC to keep
them from sliding
down or peacing out.
Enter: hairspray – but
not in the ‘duh’ way.
Before styling, spray
the backs of your
hairslides to add some
grip that’ll keep them
adhered to your hair.
Working with slippery
fabrics such as silk?
Mist your hair with
hairspray until it’s
slightly tacky, then
layer on your bows
and wraps. And don’t
worry about looking
stiff – a dab of oil
smoothed through
your hair will dissolve
any hairspray crunch
and replace it
with a natural,
polished shine.

Your
Toolkit

22

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Color Wow
Cult Favorite
Firm + Flexible
Hairspray,
£23

NatureLab
Tokyo Perfect
Shine Oil
Mist, £17

Free People
Yoko Bow,
£20

France Luxe
New Cutout
Oval Tige Boule
Barrette in
South Sea,
£14.82

PHOTOGRAPHY: (CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT) COURTESY ROOM SHOP;
M K SADLER; COURTESY ROOM SHOP; NILU ZARGHAM; M K SADLER

Down

G LOW

G et t h e g l o s s

An insider’s guide to getting

The glossiest lips
of all damn time
Yes, they’re high-maintenance. But since
when has that stopped you?
WORDS: CH LOE M ETZGE R

START WITH
MATTE
‘Use a matching
shine-free liquid
lipstick under your
gloss. The drier
formula helps
everything last longer,
and when the gloss
eventually fades,
you’ll still have a pretty
stain of colour.’
Daniel Avilán,
@danavilan

DO A LITTLE
CONTOUR
‘Grab a lip liner one
shade darker than
your gloss and fill in
the sideways Vs in the
corners of your mouth
and along the edge
of your lower lip for
instant dimension and
fullness before you
apply the gloss.’
Lottie, @lotstar

U S E A BROW
P ENCI L

PHOTOGRAPHY: HANS DE VRIES; BLAUBLUT-EDITION.COM

‘The glossier the lip,
the more it’s going
to smudge. So first,
outline your lips with
a clear wax eyebrow
pencil to create an
invisible barrier
for your gloss.’
Moises Ramirez,
@moisesartnyc

Cop this
perfect red

DAB IT
ON THE
MIDDLE
‘Apply gloss only
to the centre of
your bottom lip,
then press your lips
together and blend
the edges with a
finger. This will stop
gloss from getting all
gummy in the corners
of your mouth.’
Robin Black,
@beautyisboring

DUST ON
SOME SHIMMER
‘For extra sheen, swirl
powder highlighter
over your dry lips with
a fluffy eyeshadow
brush, then layer on
a coat of your gloss.’
Lindsey Williams,
@crazypretty

L’Oréal Paris High
Shine Colour Ink
Lipstick in 311 Be
Brilliant,£10.99

C o s m o p o l i ta n

23

The newgeneration skin
breakthroughs
are here
From the latest acne ingredient innovations to the all-new
celeb-approved facials, these skincare champions are
here to rescue any complexion in distress
WORDS: LAUREN BALSAMO AND HANNA IBR AHEEM
P H O T O G R A P H Y: B R E T T W A R R E N

24

C o s m o p o l i ta n

The acne
heroes
1. Azelaic acid
Present in many prescription
treatments, azelaic acid is gaining
popularity in over-the-counter
products (such as Algenist’s toner
below) that treat acne and postinflammatory hyperpigmentation,
says dermatologist Dr Joshua
Zeichner. It has antibacterial
properties, alleviates redness
and blocks abnormal pigment
production – which is great
for fading those dark marks
that linger post-breakout. And
unlike some other brightening
ingredients, azelaic acid is safe
to use on all skin types and tones.
2. Niacinamide
Think of it as a best supporting
actor, says Dr Zeichner. Used on
its own, niacinamide won’t clear
up acne, but when combined with
other treatments, it’s a star, thanks
to its ace anti-inflammatory
powers (inflammation = a main
acne trigger). Oh, it also has
oil-regulating properties and
can help fade dark marks, too,
says dermatologist Dr Shari
Marchbein. Try it in Youth To
The People’s serum (below).
3. Linoleic acid
Studies show that people with
acne tend to have low levels of
this essential fatty acid in their
sebum. This may contribute to
clogged pores and inflammation,
two precursors to breakouts,
says Dr Zeichner. Try a topical
leave-on with linoleic acid (like
Paula’s Choice serum) to see if
it makes a difference for you.

1

2

1. Algenist Genius Liquid Skin
Resurfacing 2% BHA Toner, £32
2. Youth To The People Retinal +
Niacinamide Youth Serum, £59
3. Paula’s Choice Omega+
Complex Serum, £35

3

The dry skin
saviours
Raise your hand if you’ve
been personally victimised by
the bitter, cold winds outside.
Exposing our skin to these biting
conditions puts it through a lot.
‘Cold temperatures result in dryer
air than in the summer months,’
explains dermatologist Dr Elif
Benar. ‘The dry air looks for
moisture wherever it can find it,
often drawing it from our skin.’ As
moisture is essential for the skin’s
barrier to function correctly, this
lack of humidity can lead to dry,
cracked and/or irritated skin. You
know that horrible feeling where
your face feels tight? Dr Benar
recommends hyaluronic acid, as
it works by absorbing water like
a sponge, locking in moisture.
It’s also worth adding vitamin E
(a great skin barrier repairer),
as well as skincare treatments
focused on hydration.
Treatments to try:
Kate Somerville The Somerville
Signature Facial, £145 for 60
mins (go to harveynichols.com/
store/knightsbridge/
kate-somerville for details)
Ever since opening her
Hollywood clinic in 2004, Kate
Somerville has been a go-to for
the rich and famous – and, for
the first time ever, her treatments
are available in the UK. While
each session is personalised
to you, it’ll include a gentle
exfoliation to slough away dead
skin cells, O2 therapy to improve
circulation, a nourishing jelly
mask and the brand’s trademark
DermaQuench treatment. If it’s
good enough for Eva Mendes…
SkinCeuticals’ Expert Hydration
Booster, £110 for 60 mins
(go to cavendishclinic.co.uk
for booking details)
Harnessing the power of potent
actives, this treatment is all
about strengthening the skin’s
protective barrier, which is
a must during this time of year.
It uses SkinCeuticals’ advanced
range to deliver high levels
of hydration and revive tiredlooking skin – even if you were
up all night binge-watching
The English on iPlayer…
26

C o s m o p o l i ta n

The glow
rescuers
As well as moisture loss, our skin
becomes prone to dullness and
texture issues throughout the
cooler months. ‘Exfoliation is
vital in keeping skin healthy as
it removes dead cells, which will
help brighten the complexion,’
explains dermatologist Dr Salome
Dharamshi. ‘If these dead cells
are left to build up on the
surface of the skin, it can lead
to a rougher and more uneven
appearance.’ Dr Dharamshi
recommends incorporating
antioxidants, including vitamin C,
into your routine to help improve
texture, as well as signs of
hyperpigmentation. There’s also
a wave of skincare treatments,
all specifically designed to bring
back a glowy complexion.

MODEL: ANDREANNA HAYNES. HAIR: TAKUYA YAMAGUCHI. MAKE-UP: DEANNA MELLUSO. MANICURE: NORI YAMANAKA. FASHION
STYLING:GUTTER
ANDREA
ZENDEJAS. ILEANA MAKRI EARRINGS. SOMA TOWEL. FOR SHOPPING INFORMATION, GO TO COSMOPOLITAN.COM.
CREDIT

Treatments to try:
FaceGym Signature Sculpt,
£80 for 45 mins (go to
facegym.com for booking details)
Facial massage is one of the
fastest ways to bring a fresh,
radiant appearance to the skin:
fact. A fave of Bella Hadid, Selena
Gomez and Lizzo, FaceGym’s
signature treatment involves
‘muscle manipulation techniques’
to aid circulation and lymphatic
drainage while simultaneously
contouring your face.
HydraFacial x Murad Booster,
From £300 for 60 mins
(go to hydrafacial.co.uk/brand/
murad for booking details)
Known as the ‘vacuum facial’,
HydraFacial has now teamed up
with cult skincare brand Murad.
Each session starts with a
skin-imaging analysis
to identify concerns
and pair you with
a suitable Murad
Keep an eye out for
skin booster – its
radiofrequency
Vita-C complex, for
treatments, says Dr
example. The good
Salome. ‘A device
bit: dislodging dirt
delivers energy waves
from pores with a
into the dermis and
(painless) suction
painlessly heats skin to
40 to 45°C to stimulate
pen that’s truly
collagen production,
satisfying, alongside
which improves skin’s
hydradermabrasion,
firmness and texture.’
an acid peel and
extractions.

One to watch
for 2023…

C o s m o p o l i ta n

27

G LOW

28

T h e d e e p d i ve

C o s m o p o l i ta n

G LOW

Your scalp
deserves
a skincare
routine, too
Dry? Flaky? Itchy? Here’s how
to decode (and treat) your
haircare woes this winter
WORDS: VICTORIA JOWETT

It’s easy to roll your eyes when it comes to scalp
care, isn’t it? We’re constantly bombarded with
beauty solutions to ‘fix’ problems that we never
really knew (or cared) about. Untidy cuticles?
Dry elbows? Dull hair? When the beauty industry
started throwing scalp products into an already
overcrowded market, the knee-jerk reaction for
most was a hard pass. But as someone who has been
through the wringer with my own scalp – which has
recurring stubborn, flaky flare-ups – I’ve slowly but
surely had my mind changed. Hear me out.
Philip Kingsley brand president and consultant
trichologist Anabel Kingsley puts it well: ‘Just as
if you had a skin condition, such as acne, a scalp
condition needs consistent and daily treatment to
bring it under control. After all, your scalp is simply
an extension of the skin on your forehead.’ Makes
sense, and if you ignore an unhealthy scalp, you’re
never going to be able to grow healthy hair. Moral
of the story? Don’t ignore those little flakes.
But here’s where things get interesting: a flaking
scalp can be caused by any number of conditions
and only one of them is dandruff. So, naturally,
treating the issue can be a little complicated.
I asked the best experts around to shed a little light
on the different causes of a shedding scalp, starting
with how to diagnose them – and, most importantly,
how to fix the flakes. Here’s what I learned...

T h e d e e p d i ve

DANDRUFF
What to look for:
Excess oil and flaking scalp.
Tell me more:
Our scalps are the perfect
habitat for certain yeasts.
For most people, they will never
cause an issue, but for some,
they can wreak havoc. ‘Itching
and flaking can occur when
a species of yeast called
malassezia overgrows,’ explains
Kingsley. And some unlucky folk
are sensitive to even normal
levels of yeast, which results in
the same flaking and itching.
Let’s put a few misconceptions
to bed. Dandruff is incredibly
common, affecting 50% of the
world’s population. ‘It is not
contagious and has nothing to
do with a lack of cleanliness,’
explains Dr Sharon Wong,
consultant dermatologist, and
hair and scalp specialist.
How to treat:
‘There is no cure for dandruff,
but it’s a highly treatable
condition and with the correct
haircare routine it can be kept
under control,’ says Wong. ‘Look
out for anti-yeast actives such
as zinc pyrithione, piroctone
olamine and ketoconazole.’ We
recommend Nizoral Shampoo,
£7.49, (as it’s packed with
ketoconazole) followed by a rich
conditioner. Then be sure to use
a deep conditioning treatment
such as Gallinée’s Prebiotic
Care Mask, £25, once a week to
soothe and balance the scalp.

1

2

1. Nizoral Anti-Dandruff Shampoo, £7.49
2. Gallinée Prebiotic Care Mask, £25

C o s m o p o l i ta n

29

T h e d e e p d i ve

A DRY SCALP
What to look for:
Persistent itching and
excessive flaking.
Tell me more:
‘A dry scalp occurs when the
top layer of skin lacks moisture,’
says Kingsley. Often, it’s caused
by environmental factors such
as over-washing, using very hot
water when showering and
warm weather. ‘A dry scalp is
more common in the summer
months, as the scalp can
become sunburnt,’ says Kingsley.
These environmental factors
can trigger moisture loss and
dryness, which leads to flaking
and persistent itchiness. If your
scalp is not producing enough,
oil (sebum), or is not adequately
replacing it, dryness sets in,
just as it does with the skin on
our body and face.
How to treat:
‘Twice a week, apply a
moisturising scalp mask
containing ingredients
such as aloe vera and mild
exfoliants such as betaine
salicylate,’ says Kingsley.
We love the Living Proof Scalp
Care Dry Scalp Treatment,
£28, because it’s loaded with
hydrating hyaluronic acid,
along with Fable & Mane’s
SahaScalp Amla Soothing
Serum, £32, which is incredibly
calming, thanks to its
aloe-enriched formula.

1

2

1. Living Proof Dry Scalp Treatment, £28
2. Fable & Mane Amla Soothing Serum, £32

30

C o s m o p o l i ta n

ECZEMA AND PSORIASIS
What to look for:
Silvery scales, flaking, pustules
and pronounced redness.
Tell me more:
‘Eczema and psoriasis are both
common inflammatory skin
conditions,’ says Dr Ophelia
Veraitch, Harley Street
consultant dermatologist and
founder of Dr Ophelia skincare.
Just as they affect the skin on
the face and body, they can
affect the scalp. ‘A few red flags
to look out for are very heavy
scale that’s firmly stuck to your
scalp, pustules, bleeding and
inflammation,’ says Kingsley.
A diagnosis of these more
serious conditions will often
need a professional eye, so it’s
best to talk to a dermatologist
or trichologist if you’re worried.
How to treat:
Dr Veraitch recommends an
at-home remedy that is probably
in your kitchen cupboard: ‘Using
olive oil to soak the scalp can
help with flaking. Oil soaks are
particularly good at lifting off
psoriasis scale and helping with
scalp eczema.’ However, when
it comes to serious flare-ups,
Dr Veraitch advises seeking
professional help, as stronger
tablet or injection-based
treatments may be needed.
Finally, opt for fragrance-free
haircare designed for sensitive
skin, such as Philip Kingsley’s
No Scent No Colour Shampoo
and Conditioner, £41.

1
1. Philip Kingsley No Scent No Colour
Shampoo and Conditioner, £41

PHOTOGRAPHY: STOCKSY

G LOW

G LOW

T h e d e e p d i ve

5 common scalp stressors
Consultant trichologist Anabel Kingsley
on the everyday triggers that will
aggravate any kind of flaky scalp

POLLUTION
In the same way
pollution can affect
the skin on our face,
it also affects the
scalp. ‘Dust, dirt
and daily grime
can increase the
likelihood of scalp
problems, such as
flaking and itching,
as well as the
formation of
pimples,’ says
Kingsley. Opt for
a gentle cleansing
scalp scrub such
as the Kérastase
Soothing Scrub
Cleanser, £43.25,
to remove build-up
and pollutants.
HORMONES
According to
Kingsley, the
hormonal shifts
leading up to and
during your period
can result in an
oilier scalp – and
this may trigger
flaking and itching,
especially if you
are predisposed to
dandruff. Redken’s
Amino-Mint Scalp
Shampoo, £20,
helps balance
the scalp’s pH,
which can help
regulate oil levels.
DIET
Foods that affect
the skin on your
face can impact
your scalp – and,
annoyingly, it’s
all the fun stuff.
‘Full-fat dairy
products, such
as cheese, as well
as sugary and
spicy foods,
can flare up a
problematic scalp,‘

says Kingsley.
White wine and
champagne can
also aggravate
the scalp. But
before you ditch
the Friday-night
takeaway, there’s
hope: ‘Trigger foods
are not the same
for everyone. Work
out what yours are,
if any, by process
of elimination,’
says Kingsley,
STRESS
Stress can lead to
spikes in cortisol
levels, which
can increase oil
production on your
scalp, explains
Kingsley. But it
can also disrupt
the skin’s barrier
function, which can
lead to irritations
and inflammation.
‘This is why you may
find that your scalp
gets itchy, flaky,
overly sensitive and
greasy when you
are going through
a stressful period,’
she adds.
UV EXPOSURE
Protecting the
scalp from UV rays
is critical; after all,
the skin on our head
can burn just as
easily as the skin
on our face, and
this can lead to
discomfort, flaking
and peeling,
explains Kingsley.
Ultrasun’s UV Face
& Scalp Mist SPF50,
£20, is a non-greasy
transparent mist
that can protect
your sensitive scalp
from sun exposure.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

31

Buy directly from the publisher and get the best prices and deals on magazine
subscriptions, special editions, beauty boxes and much more. We have products
that suit all hobbies and interests. Treat yourself or a friend today.

Home is where the heart is, and nothing beats sitting
down with a cuppa and taking some time away from
your screen with our inspiring home and lifestyle ideas.

Perfect for those who like to keep up to date
with our style guides and fashion, plus our
limited-edition beauty boxes.

Workout ideas from top PTs, plus delicious meals and
nutrition tips in our magazines and special editions
offer the perfect motivation for those looking
to achieve their health and fitness goals.

We have a brilliant selection of magazines
for nature lovers, whether they’re gardening
fanatics or enjoy going for a run, from beginner
to professional and everything in between.

TERMS & CONDITIONS: Stock is available at the time of press. For our data policy, visit hearst.co.uk/privacy-notice

A case

Peak puff

for flats

A-list

fashion

Audit your

Page 37

street style

Page 40

wardrobe

Page 38

Page 43

style

The golden era
You = almost famous, or at least dressing
like it, in this season’s glitzy, glamorous,
statement-making styles
W O R D S : TA R A H - LY N N S A I N T- E L I E N A N D VA L E R I YA C H U P I N I N A
S H O P P I N G E D I T O R : M A D DY A L F O R D
P H O T O G R A P H Y: J E F F R E Y W E S T B R O O K

C o s m o p o l i ta n

33

ST Y L E

Love t h i s fo r yo u

Party
platforms

CAROLINA
HERRERA

Talk about making
an entrance
Dress,
£155, Kitri

Shoes,
£120, Geox

£49.99, Bershka

GUCCI

FENDI BY
VERSACE
£140, Steve Madden

Skirt,
£103.20, Nasty Gal

GET
GLOWING
From the
catwalk to
real life, this
metallic trend
shines bright.
Go big or add
just a fleck – it
all works.

Ring,
£57, Hey Harper

£45, Simmi at Schuh

FASH I O N TR END

Dress,
£89, Oasis by Rachel Stevens

34

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Precious
metal
Consider this your very own gold rush

£169, Kurt Geiger

TOWER BLOCK
Sparkles, satin and jewels
– this trend leaves no heel
unturned. These will pair
perfectly with mini skirts,
maxi dresses and tailored
looks. (Disco playlist optional.)

ST Y L E

Love t h i s fo r yo u

CAROLINA
HERRERA

Earrings,
£16, River Island
Choker,
£22.99, Mango

CHANEL
Bag,
£219, Kurt Geiger

Bag,
£59.99, Zara

Ring,
£49.99, Crystal Haze

Ring,
£90, Pandora

Bag,
£9, Primark

Shoes,
£48, Next

Necklace,
£49.99, H&M Studio

SPARKLE,
BABY
See and
be seen
this winter
wearing the
chicest blingy
accents.
(Honestly,
they couldn’t
look away if
they tried.)

Loafers,
£197, Michael Kors
VERSACE

FASH I ON TR E ND

Glittery
accessories
A little drama never hurt anyone, right?

Earrings,
£14, Accessorize

Ring,
£15, & Other Stories

C o s m o p o l i ta n

35

ST Y L E

Love t h i s fo r yo u

SIMON
MILLER

Bag,
£35, Accessorize
GUCCI

Dress,
£54.99, Superdry

Top,
£95, & Other Stories
Dress,
£150, Free People

Skirt,
£30, Monki

Dress,
£149, Nasty Gal

LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL
No matter how simple or complex
the silhouette, sequins make
everything – from crop tops to
kitten heels – 10 times more fun.

FASH I O N TR END

Sequins
Top, £42, and trousers, £79,
both Sister Jane

36

C o s m o p o l i ta n

There’s no such thing as too many

Skirt,
£149, Mint Velvet

FASHION STYLIST: ANDREA ZENDEJAS. HAIR: YOHEY NAKATSUKA AT DEFACTO. MAKE-UP: DEANNA MELLUSO AT L’ATELIER.
MODEL: ALANA LAMBERT/ MMG MODELS. RUNWAY AND DESIGNER IMAGERY: GETTY IMAGES; IMAXTREE; COURTESY OF SIMON MILLER

16ARLINGTON

PHOTOGRAPHY: COURTESY OF SOPHIA WEBSTER

ST Y L E

Am I the
only one
who
can’t go
back to
wearing
heels?
W O R D S : N ATA S H A H A R D I N G

Party outfits never used to feel complete
without a pair of heels. At least, not to me.
Maybe it’s because dresses tend to look
that bit fancier with stilettos. Or perhaps
it’s that enduring hours of pain – complete
with blisters resembling fashion battle
scars – made me feel like I’d really put
in the extra effort for a special occasion
(misguided, I know). I would go as far as
to say that, pre-pandemic, if I was having
a few drinks with friends or going to a
work event, I would feel underdressed in
anything other than heels. Mini slingbacks
(we’re talking three inches max) were
my respite and, even then, they felt like
something of a cop-out.
Fast-forward to 2022 and now pulling
on a pair of kitten heels feels like a tall
order (literally). Sure, I’m getting older and
my impatience with discomfort is likely
just part of the process (is anyone else
totally over spending a small fortune on
blister plasters and gel pads?). But, after
years of my feet being cocooned in the
soothing comfort of trainers and slippers

D e b a te

throughout the various lockdowns, I just
can’t bring myself to go back.
I’ll admit, I’ve loved hunting for the
perfect pair of square-toe ballet flats or
buckle embellished loafers. After all, there’s
something exciting
about taking your
wardrobe in a new
direction. Despite
no longer wanting
to force my feet
through the highheel wringer, I still
find myself admiring impractical heels
while I’m shopping. There’s something
about high heels that screams, ‘I can make
you a glamorous person.’ They offer the
promise that those extra inches will turn
you into a Beyoncé or Lady Gaga – someone
with feet of steel who can strut for hours
like it’s no big deal. The thing is, I’m not
that gal any more – at least, not right now.
Maybe one day I’ll come back around.
But until that time comes, I will be flying
the flag for flats.

Kitten heels
are now a
tall order

C o s m o p o l i ta n

37

ST Y L E

I t ’s a w h o l e t h i n g

Influencers have platforms,
celebs have street style
And yeah, they’re definitely using it to stay famous
WO RDS: MAGG I E GRI SWO LD

38

C o s m o p o l i ta n

GUTTER CREDIT

I

n a world where pretty
much anyone can go viral
on social media as long as
they have a phone, internet
access and a good/bad/
weird/dramatic idea, it’s
become hard out there
for A-listers. Well, obviously not, like, truly
hard, but a bit more difficult to compete
with career influencers for attention (not
to mention for lucrative endorsement
deals). Their solution? The expertly taken,
looks-candid-but-is-almost-certainly-not
street-style photo.
Yes, I mean those paparazzi shots
featuring your favourite celebrity striding
from supermarket to car or from car
to coffee shop in an enviable outfit.
You may have saved a few to Pinterest
when hoarding future wardrobe inspo.
(I definitely will wear a fuzzy jacket and
crop top combo one day.) You may have
marvelled at said star’s cool off-duty
style, their ability to just ‘throw something
together’. You and everyone else.
‘A paparazzi-captured image is almost
automatically more eye-catching and viral
than an lnstagram post,’ says celebrity
photographer Miles ‘Diggzy’ Diggs, who’s
snapped everyone from Rihanna and
Kendall Jenner to the Hadid sisters. ‘People
tend to be drawn towards the voyeuristic
element.’ There’s something intoxicating
about seeing a Very Famous Person when
they’re not posing for an official shot. For
those of us constantly craving more access
to stars, the perceived intimacy these
photos impart is practically addictive. Plus,
there’s the added excitement that comes
with wondering where they’re going and
what they’II be doing in their chic clothes.
The mystery is half the allure.
Except (and sorry, it kinda crushed
me, too) there’s not actually much that’s
spontaneous about celebrity candids. Or
should I say plandids? Not unlike the long
con of the no-make-up make-up look,

PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES

ST Y L E

a lot more strategising goes into these
ephemeral moments than it might appear.
And the celebs are almost always in on it.
Los Angeles photographer Tim Regas
often gets requests to take photos of stars
in specific settings – usually promoting a
street-style outfit. Although it’s generally
celebrities’ stylists or managers making
contact with Regas, the celebs themselves
are ultimately calling the (literal and
figurative) shots for what is a surprisingly
large team effort. Getting just one casually
out-and-about pic can involve a stylist,
personal or corporate PR, a manager,
friends and, finally, a venue. ‘They all play a
role in getting a photographer and a celeb
connected for an image,’ he says.
Goal number one for celebrities is to
land their plandids in popular tabloids
and glossy fashion magazines (hi), says
New York City photographer Christopher
Peterson. The more exposure a star gains
this way, the more likely they are to get
work from brands that want, say, their
water bottles or new trainers featured in
paparazzi photos.
It doesn’t matter if an actor or musician
is promoting a huge movie or album at
the time – the ongoing influence is what’s
important here, because those who really
lean into their specific street-style approach
are thrust even further into the spotlight.
Take Hailey Bieber, says Regas. ‘She has
a great stylist, plus her own charisma that
allows for a variety
of looks that are
“on-brand” for her. And
CLICK, CLICK
Rihanna, Vanessa
now fans actively want
Hudgens, Bella
to see those looks.’ As
Hadid, Hailey
in, if Hailey’s streetBieber, Dua Lipa,
and Ciara
style photos were like
a subscription service,
her followers would
happily sign up. (Business idea, anyone?)
Same goes for Rihanna, Gigi and Bella
Hadid, Dua Lipa and a handful of
other stars who are consistently seen in
paparazzi photos wearing covetable
ensembles outside of Met Galas or movie
premieres. The personal brands they’ve
carved out for themselves via street
style – and the photographers ensuring
they’re seen – constantly put them at the
forefront of our minds.
Maybe even more mind-blowing: the
street-style photos can become another
income stream... for celebrities. There

I t ’s a w h o l e t h i n g

There’s something
intoxicating about seeing
a Very Famous Person
when they’re not posing
for an official shot
have been industry rumours about certain
stars who’ve had a financial stake in the
seemingly unplanned photos of themselves.
Kim Kardashian, ever the strategist, is
claimed to have worked directly with top
photo agency Splash News to earn a cut
of sales. ‘I’m surprised more people aren’t
doing it,’ says Peterson.
It’s hard to pinpoint exactly how all this
behind-the-scenes info is supposed to
make us regulars feel. In some ways, getting
a peek at how the street-style sausage
(sorry) is made lessens the thrill. But it’s also
kind of like getting sucked into an incredible
novel – reality is beside the point as long as
it makes you feel something. And what I’m
often feeling while scrolling through these
pics is: hell yeah, great outfit idea.
Plus, the fact that these photos manage
to stand out in the 24/7 content hive of the
internet says something else: the list of
people who get to call themselves famous
may be ever-changing, but the voyeuristic
nature of humans? That’s going to be here
as long as the cameras keep flashing.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

39

ST Y L E

P u f f fa s h i o n

HERE’S THE THING
M a rs h m a l l ow tex tu re h a s
of f ic i a l l y g o n e b eyo n d wh e re it
p reviou s l y d a re d to tre a d . I t’s n o
l o ng e r re s tr ic te d to ja c kets a n d
oute r we a r – you’ ll f i n d it o n b a g s ,
s h o e s , s c a r ve s a n d eve n p h o n e
c a s e s (D u a L i p a i s o b s e s s e d
with Th e Puf fe r C a se , F W IW ).
H o n e s tl y, thi s i s a ll g re at n ews ,
c o n s i d e r i n g h ow to a s t y we’re
a b out to b e thi s wi nte r.

Puff fashion is at its
peak right now
The trend (literally) keeps
getting bigger and bigger
W O R D S : L A U R E N A D H AV

40

C o s m o p o l i ta n

P u f f fa s h i o n

ST Y L E

Perfect for
layering

T-shirt, £85,
Ganni

Gilet,
£36.99,
New Look
Slippers, £70, Pangaia
Fine, not puffy,
but they totally
fit the vibe

Phone case,
£60, Urban
Sophistication

Joggers,
£66, Stax

Boots, £80, Koi
Footwear at
Urban Outfitters

Jacket, £215,
The North Face

Coat,
£69.99,
Mango

Coat,
£82,
Next

Scarf, £40,
Finisterre

SHOPPING EDITOR: MADDY ALFORD. PHOTOGRAPHY: COURTESY OF WINNIE

Ring, £49,
Sandralexandra

Jacket, £135,
Dickies
Boots, £275,
Russell &
Bromley

Bag, £79.99, H&M Studio
Jacket, £55, V By Very

C o s m o p o l i ta n

41

A DV E RT I S E M E N T F E AT U R E

Sparkling
Wishbone
Ring, £55

PHOTOGRAPHY: @ANNABREMWILSON

Stacks
of style
Find everything you
need to sparkle this
season at Pandora
A new season means
a fresh chance to express
yourself with a style switch
up. Whether you’re
a minimalist looking to
add a statement finish
to your look or a fashion
extrovert wanting to
influence and inspire,
this autumn/winter’s
jewellery trends have
something for everyone.
Here are the ones to take
note of and how to style
them with Pandora.

Wishbone Ring,
£40

Tiara
Wishbone
Ring, £55

LOOKING ROSY
Rose gold is making a
resplendent return this season.
The soft pink hues can be dialled
up or down depending on your
own unique style, whether it’s
a statement necklace or a build
up of more low-key pieces. For
a chic-yet-subtle injection of the
modern gold, just add a pair of
two-tone studs with shimmering
silver complementing the rose
colours. Elsewhere, let your
jewellery do the talking with
stacks of rose-gold rings, mixing
polished and simple bands with
a standout bejewelled number.

Snake Chain Bracelet,
£150; Heart Pavé
Clasp Bracelet, £75

Heart T-Bar Snake
Chain Bracelet, £150;
Pavé Clip Charm, £55

Entwined Hearts
Charm, £60
T-Bar Snake Chain
Bracelet, £60

A-WRISTERS
Bangles are back in a big way and
the good news is that more is more. Pandora
has a range of metals and finishes to suit
every taste and budget, so wear armfuls
of classic gold-plated bracelets to add
a feminine edge to the oversized-blazer
trend. Or balance out bright colours
with sterling-silver mesh bangles.

Padlock &
Key Charm,
£70

Lucky Clover,
Wishbone
& Horseshoe
Charm, £250

WINTER CHARMERS
Is there anything that lets you express
your personality more than a charm
bracelet? Whether it’s a pop of colour
via hand-set stones to wear with the
renewed leather trend or an oceaninspired adornment to accompany
a denim jacket, charms are the
ultimate way to tailor your jewellery to
whichever trend takes your fancy.

Explore the new collection in-store or online at uk.pandora.net

ST Y L E

FIRST: LOOK AT
WHAT YOU HAVE
Contrary to popular opinion,
rather than starting with a
cull, we recommend sorting
through everything you
want to keep. This builds the
foundation of your wardrobe
and gives you a sense of
what you love before you
move on. Once you’re clear
on what’s staying you can
tackle the rest.

TIP
Not 100% sure whether
to get rid of an item?
Keep a ‘maybe’ pile,
capped at five pieces to
stay disciplined. After a
few weeks, take a look
back and see if you wore
any of them.

The key to an effective audit
is being realistic about what
you will wear again. Next,
make a pile of the clothes
that don’t fit any more, along
with the pieces you can’t
remember wearing in the
past year. Then, go back for
round two and be a bit more
ruthless. Ask yourself: ‘Do I
actually wear it, or do I just
like the idea of it?’ When
you’re done, pop your ‘keep’
clothes in your wardrobe.
THEN: START SORTING
Now it’s time to decide what
you want to toss, donate,
upcycle and sell. A few
things to keep in mind as
you make your way through:

WORDS: NATASHA HARDING. PHOTOGRAPHY: STOCKSY

How to audit
your wardrobe
New year, new style (sort of)
‘I hate all my clothes’ is a line I’ve heard a lot recently. If this
sounds familiar, the chances are you might have outgrown your
could never
current
wardrobe (emotionally or otherwise) and are looking
achieve this
to take your style in a new direction. Maybe you’ve had the
same going-out dresses since your student days, or perhaps
your clothes just don’t feel very ‘you’ any more. Whatever
the reason, refreshing your wardrobe can be equal parts
cathartic and overwhelming. Enter: a fashion editor’s guide
to navigating your 2023 aesthetic.

1. If items are damaged
(ie, ripped, stained or worn
through), put them in a
clothes recycling bin.
Alternatively, if you think
something is worth saving,
The Restory specialises
in repairing and restoring
high-end designer items.
The Seam and Sojo are
both great for fixing and
altering pieces at any price
point – and Sojo even lets
you arrange for items to be
collected from your door.
2. Pieces in good condition
that you just don’t want to
wear any more are perfect
for donating or selling.
Depop is great for unique,
on-trend pieces. Vinted is a
go-to for your favourite high
street labels and eBay is a
one-stop shop.
3. If there’s anything you
think could be repurposed
(turning a dress into a top
or cutting an old tee into
cleaning cloths), these are
your upcycles. For inspo, the

A fa s h i o n e d i to r ’s g u i d e to. . .

#upcycledfashion hashtag
on TikTok has over 656m
views, offering endless
ideas for reinventing the
items in your wardrobe.
FINALLY: MAINTAIN
Now that your wardrobe is
more cleansed than your
chakras, take a minute to
think about how to approach
your clothes going forwards.
Not only will this save you
money and space, it also
reduces waste by making
you a more effective shopper.
1. Look for commonalities
(colours, print, shapes) in
the items you have – this
helps you better understand
your personal style and
prevent endless umming
and ahhing at the checkout.
Allison Bornstein is a stylist
on TikTok and Instagram who
champions the three-word
rule. Basically, review your
fashion vibe and come up
with three words that sum it
up best. Hers are classic, 70s
and elegant – but it could
be anything; playful, bright
and Scandi; androgynous,
minimal and relaxed. You
get the gist. Once you have
those, use them to guide any
future purchases.
2. If, in your sorting, you found
that you wear one item a lot
(to the point that it’s been
worn out), note this as
something to buy more of.
3. To keep your wardrobe
lean and efficient, try using
a ‘one in, one out’ rule. This
means that whenever you
acquire a new piece, take
a look at your wardrobe
and see if you can swap out
something you no longer
wear and could potentially
upcycle, sell or donate.
4. Try downloading an
app such as Whering (aka
the Clueless app), which
is designed to help you
get the most out of your
wardrobe by keeping a
record of everything you
have, letting you piece
together new outfits you
might not have considered
with the help of different
mood boards.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

43

Have you got burnout?

How to cope with

Your 2023 deserves

We have answers

your irritant sibling

a trampoline

Page 48

Page 50

Page 53

m ove

Get your
(booze-free)
buzz on
Love party season, hate the
hangover? We road-tested the
tipples promising all the fun with
none of the next-day nastiness...
PHOTOGRAPHY: STOCKSY

C O M P I L E D B Y: J E N N I F E R S AV I N

C o s m o p o l i ta n

45

M OV E

B o oze - f re e b u z z

1

Sobriety and mindful
drinking have never been (a)
more mainstream or (b) easier
to stay on track with, thanks to
a plethora of alcohol-free drink
launches, new apps, events
and sober influencers. But while
a 0% beer may taste decent, it
still lacks a certain… something.
Enter: a new range of tipples
hitting the market, promising to
give you the same energy levels
and dance moves as a glass of
fizz (or those drowsy nightcap
feels), minus the hangover and
morning-after paranoia. Sound
tempting? We tested them out.
1. THE TIPPLE ON TRIAL

Three Spirit’s Nightcap,
£24.99 for a 50cl bottle
THE COSMO TESTER
Maddy Alford, shopping
editor
WHAT AND WHEN
Sipped two before bed
THE RESULT
‘I’m terrible at falling asleep,
and I’ve tried various methods
with little to no improvement.
So, when Three Spirit’s
Nightcap promised a natural
‘calm, dreamy feeling,’ I was
intrigued. I gave it a whirl one
weeknight when my brain
was doing its chaotic ping
through my to-do list. I poured
out the recommended 50ml
over ice and curled up on
the sofa. The initial whiff of
aromatic spices and citrus
herbs almost tricked my brain
into thinking it was actual
46

C o s m o p o l i ta n

booze. The flavour is rich
and spiced, like a hot toddy
but with a bitter edge. A bit
medicinal, but I was into it.
It contains ‘adaptogenic
ashwagandha, therapeutic
terpenes and valerian root’
– herbal remedies believed
to aid relaxation. Natural
remedies aren’t my thing,
so I was surprised when,
45 minutes later, I felt hazy.
When my partner got home,
I drank another glass while
we chatted. Afterwards,
I felt as though I’d taken
a sleeping pill so I went to
bed. I woke up once in the
night but conked straight
back out. The next day,
I felt like I’d had a deep
slumber. Ace for anyone
who leans on booze for
sleep. And totally buying
for Christmas presents.

2. THE TIPPLE ON TRIAL

Blurred Vines’ Sharp,
£16.99 for a bottle
THE COSMO TESTER
Jennifer Savin, features
editor
WHAT AND WHEN
Drank a bottle on
a night out…
THE RESULT
These days, after a full-on
week, Friday nights are
reserved for just chilling.
(Saturdays are all about
socialising.) But in the spirit
of testing Blurred Vines’
Sharp, an alternative to
white wine that claims to be
‘bursting with electrolytes,
amino acids and vitamin D
for an invigorating dose of
liquid sunshine’, I decided
to rope a pal into hitting
our local club on a Friday
– despite being so tired

I was practically drooling
when I clocked off from work.
After a glass and some
tunes, I was getting in the
mood. By the end of the bottle
(which has a pleasantly
sharp, dry taste, unlike a lot
of the overly sugary alcoholfree wines I’ve tried), I was
unstoppable. When we made
it to the club at midnight, I hit
a second wave and danced
until 2am. I clocked up more
than 6,000 steps on my FitBit
from my enthusiastic moves
to trashy 80s pop – quite
the turnaround for someone
who’d been fantasising about
crawling under a blanket and
bingeing The Kardashians.
Though not cheap, Sharp
warranted a strong thumbs
up from me, especially when
I woke up hangover-free and
ready to go again.

M OV E

B o oze - f re e b u z z

2

4

3. THE TIPPLE ON TRIAL

3

Bonbuz alcohol-free
functional spirit, £42.49
for a 750ml bottle
THE COSMO TESTER
Catriona Innes,
commissioning director
WHAT AND WHEN
Two on a Monday night
THE RESULT
This bottle is designed for
‘alchohol-free stimulation’,
with nootropics to boost
mood and relaxation and
amino acids for ‘social hype
and lucid connections’.
My first trial was at a
festival. To counteract its
bitterness, I had mine with
soda and elderflower. It was
a great way to kick things off,
but any buzz I experienced
could be attributed to being
surrounded by friends and
great music, so I decided to
try it out in a much more
challenging second setting:
at home on a Monday night.
It was surprisingly effective.
Bonbuz curiously warns
consumers not to have more
than four drinks in 24 hours,
but after two, I was dancing
around the kitchen anyway,
so decided that was enough.
As for any lingering effects?
Absolutely none. Alcoholfree alternatives can leave
me with a sugar hangover,
but this is sugar-free, so
I even made it to my 6.45am
exercise class with ease.
Oh, and smashed a PB!

4. THE TIPPLE ON TRIAL
Sentia, £29.50 for a 50cl bottle
THE COSMO TESTER
Alice Snape, contributing
editor
WHAT AND WHEN
Drank a couple while getting
ready for a festival
THE RESULT
I love a pre-drink, but my
days of downing a bottle
of cava before leaving the
house are numbered. I can’t
hack it – the memory blanks
and gnawing hangxiety –
no thanks. But I still want
to *feel* something when
I go out out... could a
plant-based, alcohol-free
spirit hold the answer?
Sentia seems legit. I
completely trust its creator,
neuropsychopharmacologist
(pause for breath) David Nutt,
who literally specialises in
how drugs affect us, and
Sentia has been scientifically
designed with a mix of
botanicals to get you to that
‘two-drink sweet spot’ by
accessing receptors in your
brain. You know, the ones that
make you feel sociable and
relaxed but, crucially, not
irritable and hungover
– ideal scenario, right?
I put it to the ultimate test
while getting ready to go to
my first day festival in actual
years. Disclaimer: I’m a
sensitive soul who’s tipsy after
one glass of wine. But I defs
felt a vibe shift – chatty, giddy,
fuzzy inside and super-sexy in
my festival sparkles. The smell
is musty floral – like the waft of
your bedroom when you’ve
burned incense. You can drink
it straight, but I mixed a shot
with lemonade poured over
ice (it’s also nice with tonic,
FYI), making it taste like a light
mulled wine – so it’s perf for
festive drinks, too. It’s a grower
but after two, I’m a convert.
I’ll be swapping some of my
usual Christmas fizz for this.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

47

M OV E

H a ve I g ot b u r n o u t ?

Is this
what burnout
feels like?
And what the hell do I even do about that?
WORDS: HAN NAH S MOTH E RS

START
It’s Sunday
night and
you have work
in the morning.
How’s your
mood?

A bit down,
but mostly
fine.
Just the
usual total
dread.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Recharged
for sure.
Yes.

Hyped!
Is that
weird?

48

Over the past couple of
years, have you taken on
a caregiver role in addition
to your actual job?

How did you feel
when you came
back from your
last holiday?

No,
thankfully.

Okay,
but then
overwhelmed
again.

M OV E

Does work ever feel
like an escape from
your home life?

How
did you
know???

Can’t say
I need an
escape.

When you wake up
at 3am, what’s on
your mind?

Calls I ignored,
a thing I said
to my boss last
week, my mum…

I need
to pee.
C

H a ve I g ot b u r n o u t ?

When you feel overwhelmed,
is there someone you lean on?

No, because
everyone I
know is also
stressed.

I have
a solid
support
system.

What are you
doing this weekend?
Do you often feel pressure
to go to the pub?

How often do you consider
throwing your phone into
a body of water?
Sleeping or
a mountain
of chores.

All the
damn
time.

Laundry,
book club,
pasta!

I don’t
have to be
pressured!

Every. Day.

Mondays only.

A

B

What’s your inbox like?
It’s Friday and your
people want to gather.
Are you in?

Of
course!

When was the last time
you unplugged and rested?

One or two
unread
messages, but
I’ll get to ’em.

I can’t
even talk
about it.

I’m ‘feeling
sick’.

Earlier
this
week.
C

I took
a day
off last
month.

What
counts
as rest?
A

PHOTOGRAPHY: ABDULLA ELMAZ

B

A: Yes. Yes, it is.

B: Not exactly, but it’s close.

C: Nope! Definitely not.

It’s not an actual medical condition,
but burnout, caused by chronic
stress, can make you feel lethargic,
antisocial, irritable or like it’s really
hard to get out of bed. Powering
through will just prolong or worsen
symptoms. It’s essential to deal with
the root of the problem via your GP
and, ideally, a supportive boss. As
you work on that, try to get more
sleep and give friends a heads-up
on your mental state and that you’re
trying to dig your way out of it.

So, stressful work and/or home
stuff has you feeling like you need
to regroup, eh? Your burnout
prevention plan: spend time
defining your priorities (yours, not
what your boss or family or partner
thinks), and list them. If the word
‘rest’ isn’t at the top, put it there (FYI,
going for a walk or watching TV
counts). Now, give the full list a scan
and ask yourself, ‘Which of these
are missing from my life lately?’ Then
adjust your schedule accordingly.

Are you teaching online courses?
Because I’ll enrol immediately.
Somehow, you made it through
‘These Times’ in a solid headspace,
and we should all applaud you for
that. Healthy habits like prioritising
rest, avoiding work-related stuff after
hours, taking time off to have fun or
being honest when your diary is too
full are probably helping. Putting
these behaviours in place now –
and trusting that they’re worth it
– makes you close to indestructible.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

49

M OV E

Fre e t h e ra py

I dread
going
home
because
my
brother

is a
manchild
Old sibling rivalries
die hard. Good thing
our advice columnist,
therapist Minaa B, is
here to help you cope
I L L U S T R AT I O N : M E R E D I T H
SCHOMBURG

50

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Dear Minaa,
I recently went home for
my middle sister’s birthday
party and couldn’ t shake
the feeling that my older
brother still acts like a
teenager – and treats me
like I’m still one, too. (For the
record, he’s 27 and I’m 22.)
Just one example: in the
middle of the party, he put
me in a headlock. He also
called me by my childhood
nickname the entire time.
No matter how much
I avoid or ignore him, he’s
constantly trying to bring
me down to his level with
remarks like, ‘Do mum and
dad know you’re drinking
now?’ (again, I’m 22) and,
‘Still want me to turn the
lights on in the basement
before you go down there?’
He also leaves dirty
dishes around the house for
my mum to clean up and,
when she asked him to help
set up for my sister’s party,
he did the bare minimum,
opting to spend most of the
morning watching sports
from the living room sofa.
Yet, somehow, my
parents don’ t seem fazed
that he hasn’ t shed his sixth
form-esque party persona.
He still lives rent-free at
home and relies heavily on
them for financial support.
Meanwhile, although I’m
the youngest child, I have
a career, a flat and a life
of my own. Yet... I’m still
practically a baby in his
eyes – and it’s starting to
mess with how I see myself.
What’s it going to take
for him to finally grow up
and treat me as a fully
functioning adult?

Dear reader,
It’s possible that your brother does recognise that you’re an
adult. But as an older sibling, he may still think of you a certain
way, kind of like how a parent might say, ‘You’ll always be
my baby.’ When we’re kids, the people that take care of us –
including siblings – often dictate most of our choices. And as
we grow up, it can be hard for those same people to see us
as peers. Your brother may think he’s just being playful with
his little sis in the way he’s always been.
Have you clearly communicated that you don’t like the way
he treats you? Ignoring him isn’t enough – you have to say it
explicitly. Try speaking up – in language that makes sense
in terms of how you two usually engage – by starting with
something like, ‘Hey, this really isn’t funny.’ However, you choose
to phrase it, your message should boil down to, ‘I don’t like this.’
Once you explain what your boundaries are, don’t be afraid
to repeat them consistently so he can get into the habit of
recognising that you’re serious. If he apologises and changes
his ways, great. If he doesn’t seem to get it, try asking him to
reflect, ‘Why are you surprised by me acting like an adult?’
If that still doesn’t work, and you get
the sense he doesn’t have the emotional
maturity to be understanding, that’s where
consequences come into play. You can
determine what you need to do to feel
comfortable around him. If that doesn’t
work, time apart is an option.
Of course, there’s another emotional
side to this, especially since it sounds like
complex family dynamics are involved.
It could be that you’re also experiencing
resentment towards your brother for doing the bare minimum
while you have a full life that’s going unrecognised – and yet
you’re still expected to help out at home. Ask yourself: do you
feel unseen by your parents? Do you feel like your bids for
attention and praise are overshadowed by his constant babying
of you? While your brother is leaving dirty dishes around and
kicking his feet up, what are you supposed to be doing?
The important thing to remember here is that you can’t
control others – you can’t dictate your brother’s growth and
his failure to launch has no bearing on you. What you can
control is what your boundaries are.
It is possible to accept that your brother’s immature
tendencies and actions aren’t a personal attack – they
are simply a reflection of him and his current journey.
Coming to terms with this can help you move from a place
of annoyance to radical acceptance and, ultimately, peace.
His circumstances and the qualities he lacks aren’t your
responsibility. Rather, you should focus on being the adult
you’d like to be seen as.
Your way ahead is to drop the belief that your brother
should know better. And remember that maturity looks
like speaking up and stating your needs – not just your
accomplishments and successes.

‘Your way ahead is
to drop the belief
that he should
know better’

MINAA B IS A THERAPIST, SPEAKER AND FOUNDER OF MINAA B. CONSULTING,
WHERE SHE WORKS WITH PROFESSIONALS ON WORKPLACE BOUNDARIES.
SHE’S CO-HOST OF PODCAST, BECAUSE LIFE, AND SITS ON THE MENTAL HEALTH
ADVISORY COMMITTEE FOR WONDERMIND, CO-FOUNDED BY SELENA GOMEZ

C o s m o p o l i ta n

51

M OV E

FREEPORT PARK SEMAJ
ROUND TRAMPOLINE,
£129.99, WAYFAIR.CO.UK

Tr y b efo re yo u t ra i n

HOMCOM BETHANEY
3’ ROUND FITNESS
TRAMPOLINE, £45.99,
WAYFAIR.CO.UK

Assembly took less than five mins
(win!), so I put on an episode of
Friends and bounced away. By the
end, I’d almost forgotten I was
doing any exercise (win win!). The
bar height is adjustable, but I
removed it completely. The size
was larger than I’d expected, so
check if you’re short on space.
Jade, features writer

I loved trampolining in PE at
school. Sadly, the size didn’t allow
for seat drops, but I was surprised
by how many exercises I could do.
Alongside regular jumping, it’s
sturdy enough to use for press-ups
and crunches. It’s easy to carry,
and it folds up when I’m not using it.
Hanna, deputy beauty editor

DECATHLON FITNESS
TRAMPOLINE FIT
TRAMPO 500, £99.99

HOMCOM 48”
MINI TRAMPOLINE
WITH ADJUSTABLE
HANDLE, £69.99,
ROBERTDYAS.CO.UK

This was perfect for the Bounce
and Burn class I did via Frame,
and it’s super quiet, so I didn’t
disturb my neighbours (or my
boyfriend). After a struggle with
the instructions, the build was
fairly straightforward. It’s now in
the corner of my kitchen, so I can
bounce while the kettle boils.’
Jaime, digital design editor

Assembly was a challenge. You
have to pull the base on to hooks,
using bungee cords. My broken
nails aren’t happy. But as soon as
I began to jump, Shania Twain
blasting out, it was worth it. Cardio
that can be slotted into my day.
Catriona, commissioning director

Try before you train

PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES

GIELMIY FITNESS 48”
MINI TRAMPOLINE,
£69.99, AMAZON.CO.UK
The initial set-up was a workout
in itself, but I loved doing
YouTube aerobics classes to
funky tunes in the safety of my
living room. Great for a midday
energy boost on those weekdays
working at home, where I do
more sitting than I’d like.
Courtney, fashion assistant

Trampolines
Want to inject some fun into your fitness
routine? The team test out trampolines to
see if they’ll boost your at-home workouts
or just upset the neighbours...

CLORIS 40” FOLDABLE
FITNESS TRAMPOLINE,
£59.99, AMAZON.CO.UK
This was as easy to set up as an
Ikea flat-pack – just unfold and
add the legs and bar. Running
isn’t for me, nor is the gym, so with
this and a cracking playlist, I was
motivated. It’s smaller than I’d
expected, but with limited space
at home, I can’t complain.
Lia, beauty assistant

C o s m o p o l i ta n

53

Are your group chats

How to

Upgrade your

taking over your life?

cancel plans

hot chocolate

Page 57

Page 58

Page 59

re l a x
Food tastes
better on
a stick and
these snacks
are proof
*Adds cute skewers
to shopping list*
WORDS: HANNAH CHUBB
P H O T O G R A P H Y: C O DY G U I L F OY L E

C o s m o p o l i ta n

55

1
RELAX

St i c k w i t h i t

6

With snacks like
these, who needs
a main course?

2

5

3

YOU HEARD IT
HERE FIRST

SWEET PEACH
Grill a few fresh
slices of peach,
then stack them
with creamy
burrata, a ripe
cherry tomato
and a single basil
leaf to help bring
this salty-sweet
caprese full circle.

1.

56

C o s m o p o l i ta n

BREAKFAST
BITE
Think of this treat
as a mini breakfast
sandwich minus
the bagel. All you
need is smoked
salmon, cucumber,
tomato, cream
cheese and a
teensy little caper.

2.

3. CAKE

POP
Prep the ripest
fruit you can find
– strawberries,
raspberries and
blueberries are
welcome here –
and spear with
a cold chunk of
cheesecake (shopbought is fine).

4. CHOCO

CHURROS
Procure some mini
churros from the
frozen aisle. Pop
’em in the oven, add
some cinnamon
sugar, and drizzle
your new fave
dessert with
chocolate sauce.

SAUCY SNACK
Alternate
mini meatballs,
mozzarella and
basil leaves, then
top with a plop of
marinara for a mini
meal that tastes
just as good as
your go-to Italian
takeaway order.

5.

SWEET
’N’ SALTY
Oh, this? The one
that’s cut out for
breakfast, lunch,
dinner and dessert.
Pair cantaloupe or
honeydew melon
with prosciutto,
cheddar and a
balsamic glaze.
6.

PROP STYLING: GÖZDE EKER. FOOD STYLING: HADAS SMIRNOFF

2023 is the year
of the finger food.
And lucky for you,
these two-bite
beauties are
beyond easy to
assemble, allowing
you to officially
claim your title
as Host of the
Friend Group.

4

RELAX

G ro u p c h a t s

You + your
group chat
Party season = peak WhatsApp
overwhelm, amirite? Here’s how
you feel about it*
WORDS: ANNABEL IWEGBUE

How many long-term
group chats are you
currently in?

And how many
people are in
most of them?

6 3 % 2 to 5

5 6 % About 3 or 4

2 2 % More than 5

3 9 % 5 to 10

1 5% Just 1!

5% More than 10

What platform do
you usually use?

What type of group
chatter are you?

8 8% WhatsApp

5 4% Not posting 24/7,

6 % Facebook

but being part of
the convo

4% Instagram, Twitter

or something else
2 % Text messaging

17 % I’m definitely more
of a lurker
1 5% The ‘haha’

PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES; STOCKSY *ACCORDING TO A COSMO UK POLL OF 1,000 READERS.

reactor = me
14% Super active

with the plans
and memes

Does the ease
of group chats
make you less
likely to set up
in-person plans?
72 % No, I still really

value in-person
meet-ups
24% Sometimes...
4% It makes me

In general, do group chats
simplify or complicate
your friendships?
5 9 % Simplify – they’re a

good way to merge convos
27 % I don’t feel that they
affect my friendships
that much
14% They do tend to invite

unnecessary drama

less motivated
to hang out IRL

Have you actually
met all the people
in your chats
in person?

Do you have any
close friends who
are not in one of
your group chats?

87 % Yep, almost all

6 0 % Yes! And it’s

are my IRL friends

refreshing

11% Most – the
occasional person
I’ve never met

2 3 % Nope, my

2 % I’m in 1+ chats

17 % Yes, and it can

with people I’ve only
met online

be hard to keep
up separately

friends are all in
the same chats

Finally, what’s your
overall take on chats?
5 3 % They’re fun but
not essential
3 5% They’re life-saving
12% They kind of stress me out

C o s m o p o l i ta n

57

RELAX

C a n c e l yo u r p l a n s

Drinks are calling
your name, but so
is the sofa... but
drinks... but... sofa.

Home is where your heart
(and joggers and Netflix) is
WORDS: CAROLINE MOSS

Raise your hand if this
sounds familiar: it’s a Tuesday
morning in December and
you’ve just finished your
second coffee. You’re on top
of the world because you’ve
finally hit inbox zero and it
looks like you’ll be able to head
out of work at a reasonable
hour. Hell. Yes. Around
lunchtime, a friend messages
you, ‘Festive drinks tonight?’
and you automatically reply,
‘Yes!!!’ But come 5.30pm, your
energy has waned and all you
want to do is unhook your bra,
watch a true-crime doc and
eat a tin of Quality Street.
You have options: you can
say you feel sick (an obvious lie
we’ve all used), you can say
58

C o s m o p o l i ta n

you got slammed with a lastmin project (less obvious but
still overused), or you could
rally and go meet your mate
even though you might be a bit
miserable (a fave option for
people pleasers.) But many
overlook the underutilised
fourth option: simply telling
the truth. Yes, you can actually
be honest without ruining
anyone’s Christmas – you
just need to know how.
Narrate your flakiness
Let’s say you’re wiped and
you just want to be on the sofa
with your internet boyfriend,
Noah Centineo. Try texting
your friend something like:
‘Hey... I was in a different

‘Many overlook
the underutilised
fourth option’
Regardless, they’ll appreciate
that they’re not being both
cancelled on and lied to.
Reschedule like a realist
If you insist on rescheduling
right after you cancel, pick
a date when your calendar
looks particularly chill. You
know, January? It’s easy to
throw out the promise of
another meet-up to solve
your current sitch, but you’ll
make your life messier if you
have to bail again. If you
realise you don’t actually

want to see them, skip the
whole ‘let’s get together
next time’ BS completely.
Know when to suck it up
Some things you can’t skip
– ever. Bailing on intimate
gatherings with head counts,
weddings and hen dos is
what’s known in the flaking
community as a friendshipender. But if you really, really
can’t make it, make sure you
RSVP your ‘nope!’ ASAP.
Just don’t do that thing where
you say you’re in and then
secretly plot a day-before
exit strategy. (PSA: If social
anxiety’s the issue, that’s
totally understandable – let’s
face it, party season can be
actual hell. Give the organiser
a heads up that you’ll have to
see how you feel on the day
and hope they can be flexible.
Try and keep your social
schedule low-key so you can
summon the power to attend
the few things you really want
to try to make.) And if you
do say yes to your cousin’s
Christmas do, at least there’s
likely to be Baileys.

PHOTOGRAPHY: STOCKSY

Your official guide
to cancelling plans

headspace when I agreed to
meet up. This day has totally
zapped me and all I can think
about is going home and not
moving for the rest of the
night. Rain check?’ Chances
are, they’ll totally understand
–maybe they’ll even breathe
a sigh of relief because
they wanted to cancel too.
December can be a lot.

RELAX

N o - r u l e s re c i p e s

These hot chocolate upgrades
could change your life
Or at least make the dark and rainy
evenings a bit more bearable
WO RDS: J O E Y S KL ADANY

P H O T O G R A P H Y: C H E L S I E C R A I G

I’m going to go ahead and
assume you’re familiar with
the beverage that makes
cold weather feel like you
imagined it back in August
and not like it actually is. So
I can cut right to it: regular
old hot chocolate is even
better with a few tiny tweaks.
If you’re thinking, ‘Oh! With
alcohol?’ You are correct. But
if you’re thinking, ‘Aha! With
sweets!’ You are also correct.
Join me on this incredibly
rewarding journey.
1.

1

2

3

MAKE IT DESSERT

Dip the rim of your mug in icing,
crush up some Oreos and dunk
your rim into the Oreos.
2.

MAKE IT SPICY

Add in a square of dark choc, a
dash of cinnamon powder, some
vanilla extract and a pinch of chilli
powder. Top with marshmallows
and a cinnamon stick.
3.

MAKE IT MINTY

Stir in a few pieces of Peppermint
Aero and garnish with a toothpick
packed with chocolate pieces and
a fresh mint leaf.

PROP STYLING: BETH PAKRADOONI. FOOD STYLING: JUDY KIM

4.

4

MAKE IT COLD

Add hot chocolate powder, milk and
ice to a blender. Blend until smooth
and top with whipped cream.
5.

MAKE IT COMPLEX

Steep some chai tea in a quarter
of a mug’s worth of hot water, then
combine with your hot cocoa.
6.

MAKE IT BOOZY

Add a shot of Irish cream, coffee
liqueur, peppermint vodka or
cinnamon schnapps.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

59

Love

Fashion
Homeware

Page 62

Wellness

Page 64

Page 63

Page 65

g i ve
P H O T O G R A P H Y: S U N L E E

1

2

Beauty
These treats are giving
real ‘main present’ energy
3

4

FLOWERS, COURTESY BLOOM & WILD; CHAMPAGNE SAUCER, COURTESY OLIVER BONAS

5

6
7
8

9
10

1. The Luxury Brush Set, £82, Bobbi Brown 2. Honey Bee Wash Bag, £40, Elizabeth Scarlett 3. Pillow Talk Beautifying Face Palette in Medium/Deep,
£60, Charlotte Tilbury 4. La Vie Est Belle L’éveil Refillable Eau De Parfum (50ml), £83, Lancôme 5. 70g Scented Candle in Neige, £38, Diptyque
6. Grand-Luxe Gold Styler, £189, GHD 7. Coco Mademoiselle Pearly Body Gel, £85, Chanel 8. Cosmopolitan Eau De Juice Extra Concentrated Eau
De Parfum (50ml), £29.50, thefragranceshop.co.uk 9. Lash Clash Mascara, £29, YSL 10. Vernis Top Coat Nail Lacquer in 309 Cosmic, £25.50, Dior
C o s m o p o l i ta n

61

GIVE

Love

Love
Hot gifts for cold nights

1
2

4

5

6

1. Alma Graphic Lace Underwire Bra, £65, Dora Larsen 2. So Divine Amour Lipstick Vibrator, £30, Feel Unique 3. Furry handcuffs, £9.99, Love
Honey 4. Aesop Breathless Body Oil, £27, Net-A-Porter 5. The Poet suction toy, £119.95, Smile Makers 6. Feather tickler, £6.99, Love Honey

Unlined Corded
Lace Teddy, £45,
Victoria’s Secret

62

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Sexy Truth Or
Dare, £13.99,
WH Smith

Ignite Finger
Vibrator, £32.99,
Love Honey

Desire: 100 Of
Literature’s Sexiest
Stories, £18, Waterstones

Pro 1+
Vibrator, £58.95,
Satisfyer

Sila Clitoral
Massager,
£159, Lelo

FLOWERS, COURTESY BLOOM & WILD; GLASS BOX AND GOLD TRAY, COURTESY H&M HOME; GIN GLASS AND VASE, COURTESY OLIVER BONAS

3

GIVE

Homeware

H o m ewa re

Turn your place into a palace

1

2

3

4

5

CAKE STAND, COURTESY H&M HOME

6

1. Monstera in ceramic pot, £33, John Lewis 2. Striped candles, set of six, £28, Anthropologie 3. Glass lamp, £185, Oliver Bonas
4. Gin glasses, set of four, £51, iamfy.co 5. Candle holder, £13, Sass & Belle 6. Matches, £7.95, lilyking.co.uk

The Rooney Chair,
£269.99, CosmoLiving
at Wayfair

Get Your Shit Together
by David Shrigley,
£26, Waterstones

Slippers, £33,
Not On The
High Street

Velvetiser,
£99.95, Hotel
Chocolat

Glass
Mug, £40,
iamfy.co

Print, from
£45, John
Lewis

C o s m o p o l i ta n

63

GIVE

Fa s h i o n

Fashion
Meet your wardrobe wish list
1

4

5

3

1. Boots, £160, Ariat 2. Bag, £59.99, Zara 3. Scarf, £135, Ganni
4. Sunglasses, £50, Le Specs 5. Hair bow, £24, Free People

4

Coat, £109,
Wallis

64

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Earrings, £90,
Pandora

Top, £59.99,
Mango

Bracelet, £77,
Hey Harper

Mules, £29.99,
H&M

Ring, £199,
Missoma

FLOWERS, COURTESY BLOOM & WILD; CANDLESTICK, COURTESY H&M HOME; DECANTER & TUMBLER SET, VASE AND TRAY, COURTESY OLIVER BONAS

2

GIVE

Wellness

We l l n e s s

For goal-getters and ‘one more rep’-ers

1

3

FLOWERS, COURTESY BLOOM & WILD; VASE, COURTESY OLIVER BONAS; GOLD DISH, COURTESY H&M HOME

2

4
5

1. Bum bag, £35, Eastpak 2. Kettlebell, from £20, kettleboobs.co.uk 3. Shoes, £345, Ganni 4. Apple Watch SE,
£259, apple.com/uk5. Urbanista Miami Wireless Over Ear Bluetooth Headphones, £129, Amazon

5

Swim cap,
£6.50, Speedo

Shorts, £50,
Everlane

Ski goggles,
£151, Oakley

Resistance band set,
£20, Sweaty Betty

Bala Bangles,
£50, Free People

Trainers,
£150, Veja

C o s m o p o l i ta n

65

66

C o s m o p o l i ta n

While you’ve been doing your thing, Lindsay Lohan has
been quietly vision-boarding her way right into the most prolific
years of her life—and now, she’s ready to talk about them

I NTE RVI EW: MADE LE I N E FR AN K RE EVE S

P H O T O G R A P H Y: E L L E N V O N U N W E R T H

FA S H I O N : C A S S I E A N D E R S O N

o, listen. I could start by telling you how I grew up with Lindsay
Lohan. How I can chart my entire childhood by which of her classic
films was playing in the background (The Parent Trap as I processed
my own parents’ divorce; Freaky Friday, their second marriages;
Mean Girls while I figured out what the actual hell
high school was). But I won’t, because every girl born within a
decade of the now-36-year-old actor has some version of the same
story—at least one film from LiLo’s decades-deep career that’s sat
with them in a personality-forming way. And, of course, some
narrative they’ve crafted in their mind about the nature of her
celebrity and what she’s like as a person all this time later.
I’m going to focus instead on the now, because Lindsay is right
here in front of me in the iconically freckled flesh. She’s come all
the way from her home in Dubai to shoot a cover story that’s a
very big deal for obvious reasons. Getting the famously private
star – so private that she moved to Dubai because paparazzi
are illegal there – to sit down for a candid interview has been
a feat nearly a year in the making. And we have a lot of new
ground to cover.
For one, she’s getting ready for the premiere of her Netflix
movie Falling For Christmas (out now), to be followed by two
more films in a multi-picture deal that promises the return of the
romcom queen we all love. Also on the long list of roles she’s
currently juggling: executive producer of those Netflix movies,
podcast host ( The Lohdown With Lindsay Lohan), narrator of
the Amazon Prime reality dating show Lovestruck High,
newlywed... you get the idea. The internet is cheering for a
‘Lohan-aissance’ for a reason.
And in the surprisingly intimate, barefaced moments before
she steps in front of the camera, Lindsay seems pretty happy
about it, too. She’s perched on a glam chair at the Roxy Hotel in
New York, sipping an iced matcha, surrounded by her team.
There’s publicist Leslie Sloane (they’ve been together since
The Parent Trap), hairstylist DJ Quintero, make-up artist
Kristofer Buckle, manicurist Elle Gerstein and Netflix rep
Shannon Skoczylas. As they flutter around fielding calls, working
out logistics and wielding brushes of all kinds, Lindsay speaks to
me with the unhurried thoughtfulness of someone who knows
68

C o s m o p o l i ta n

how easily her words could be twisted and misconstrued into
inaccurate clickbait – how easily, how often they have been.
She’s guarded but still quick to share a laugh. (I’m never quite
sure whether I’m in on the joke or just, ever so frustratingly,
outside of it.) It’s a striking combination of the weariness that
comes from a lifetime of sharing herself with the world and a
deep-in-her-bones excitement for what’s to come. Her favourite
year of her life, she writes in her Cosmo Quiz (page 5)? This one.
I don’t want to get in the way – please keep doing whatever
you need to while we talk. Kris, you two have worked
together for a long time, right?
KRISTOFER BUCKLE1: What was the first time, when you were 16?
LINDSAY LOHAN: Sixteen. I think it might have been for
Confessions [Of A Teenage Drama Queen]. Mean Girls was
after, then we did SNL [Saturday Night Live] and all that.
KB: I remember on SNL, she was going through a real selftanner phase. The old-school lighting guy was like, ‘She’s too
tan! She’s too tan!’
We did a million things together. She was a new starlet and
at that age where make-up was becoming more important. And
she was always having fun with it and always had an opinion.
LL: Always more contour.
1. For the uninitiated: on a scale of pretty cool to genuinely major, Kristofer Buckle
is somewhere off the charts. Other people who trust him with their faces: Mariah
Carey, Blake Lively and Jessica Chastain.

Previous spread: dress,
Anthony Vaccarello at
Albright Fashion Library;
ring (left), Chopard; ring
(right, worn throughout)
Lindsay’s own. This page:
dress, Adriana Degreas;
bandeau, Skims; briefs,
Chantelle; sandals
Pīferi; earrings, Sauer;
ring, Chopard

C o s m o p o l i ta n

69

KB: She knew what she wanted to look
like. She had a very strong vision for
herself. And she was always a bit
ahead of the curve with glam. Even
before the whole glowy skin thing,
she was like, ‘I want it to be shinier.’

What’s your skincare like now?
LL: I’m big on non-intrusive facial
experiences, anything I can do. I love
lasers. I just started Morpheus8
[a micro-needling treatment], which
I’m obsessed with.
Oh, god. I just did that and it was the
most painful thing, like rubber bands
snapping actual fire into my face. I was
sitting there the whole time like, ‘Is this
really what I’m willing to do for beauty?’
KB: It’s always worth it.
LL: Here’s the trick: You have to ask
them to give you the numbing cream
ahead of time and put it on yourself
at home an hour before you go.
It’s always nice in the age of filtered
selfies to dig into what really goes into
getting camera-ready.
LL: Right, because we only ever know
what we see on the screen. We don’t
know what’s happening behind it.
LL: You have to take everything people say with a grain of salt

What are your feelings about social media?
LL: I don’t even know. There’s too much of it. No, it is nice.
Because now I feel like... when I first started out in the business,
none of us had a say in how to control our own narrative.
There were paparazzi pictures, and then people ran with it.
So I think it’s really good that in this day and age, people can
say who they are and who they want to be. And I admire and
appreciate that. I’m a little jealous because I didn’t have that.
But I think it moves really fast and I just try to keep up as best
I can. And I check everything before I post it. I’ll send it to
people. Because you have to.
There’s that positive element of having more control over the
narrative but also the difficulties of trolls or having the
pressure of potentially messing up on such a massive scale.

70

C o s m o p o l i ta n

and just be you. And slow down, because everyone’s so quick
right now. People just don’t stop. You’ve got to chill.
If people were to see the real Lindsay on a random night
at home in Dubai, what would that look like?
LL: I cook a lot. I follow this @EatingHealthyToday Instagram and
they do these really great healthy meals. I cook a lot of Italian.
I do a lot of pastas. I do a lot of an Arabic dish called machboos.
It’s chicken with rice and vegetables. I do a really good borscht
soup. I also go to bed really early – 9.30pm.
Do you sleep well?
LL: Yes, except when I got here to New York. I think it was
because of anxiousness about getting up on time. But I need my
seven to eight hours of sleep. When I’m filming, I can get away

Dress, Valentino at New
York Vintage; sandals,
Giuseppe Zanotti;
earrings, two-finger
ring, Ara Vartanian;
ring, Chopard

great buzz. Was the opportunity an
easy yes for you?
LL: It was really comforting to me, when
I got the script, to see a movie that was a
romcom2 because it’s always fun to work
on something lighthearted and familyoriented that makes people happy and
provides a bit of an escape. And I was
excited to kind of come back, to do
something with Netflix, which is a big family
in a way. It was the right fit for me, especially
to be able to executive produce it.
I think people always wonder: what
exactly does ‘executive producing’
really mean?
LL: It’s a really different role that I get to
play aside from just starring in the movie.
It’s being involved in the projects at
every step: the whole casting process,
the editing and production process.
And even parts of the script.
So as you’re shooting, if something’s not
working, you’re helping to rewrite it?
LL: Yeah, and working on the costumes
and the wardrobe and the character
development, too.

with six sometimes if we have really early calls, but I like my sleep
and feel better when I get it.
So your days are really packed right now with work. How
are you feeling through it all?
LL: Really good. I’m really excited. It’s fun to be back in New
York and doing shoots. And I love this part of the process.
After you’ve filmed, this is the fun part. So I feel really great
and just really excited and happy.
Is it hard to balance your time when you’re back here?
LL: Well, the first thing I like to do is see my niece, because she’s
the cutest thing ever. I always spend time with family. I go to
a few specific restaurants. Visit Central Park. And always work.
This deal you have with Netflix has been getting so much

Interesting. I’m curious about how
you approach your acting at this
point in your career, when you’ve been doing it since you
were five years old.
LL: It’s always evolving. It comes very naturally to me to play a
role, especially in a romantic comedy, so it doesn’t always feel like
work. But when you really look at the character and how much
more you can give people on-screen through the character’s
eyes, there’s so much to play with and change. With this movie,
I specifically wanted to do more physical comedy because I
missed doing that. And I was like, ‘We’re here, why not? I’m willing
to do it.’ I think the bigger you go in those situations, the better it
is. You can’t be afraid of it. And then for the next one,3 I wanted
to play a different kind of character, more nerdy.
2. The plot? Lindsay plays a newly engaged heiress who has amnesia after
a skiing accident. A handsome local man takes her into his care and... well, it’s
a romcom – you can imagine the rest.
3. Irish Wish, which she’s filming this autumn.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

71

‘I’M THE KIND OF PERSON WHO
WA N T S T O D O I T A L L AG A I N B U T
1 0 T I M E S B E T T E R’

If you were to think of the movie version of your own life so
far, what would be the big, pivotal moments that punctuate
it? What memories come to mind as particularly meaningful?
LL: The first time I hosted Saturday Night Live. That was a big
moment for me. And then when I hosted the MTV Movie
Awards, those were both really big moments for me. But I think
when you’re in it, it doesn’t hit you. And I never thought I would say
this, but as you get older in life,4 you look back on those things
and you’re like, ‘Did I really do that? Oh my gosh, I really did
all that stuff,’ which is a really cool feeling in the end. And I’m the
kind of person who now wants to do it again but 10 times better.
What does 10 times better look like?
LL: Different awards. SNL again, obviously. And roles that I
haven’t been able to play. I haven’t done an action film. I really
want to do something like that.5 There are other things I can’t
say. They’re on my vision board.
It’s really striking when studying your body of work to
realise that you must have been working constantly for
a large chunk of your childhood. Did you ever find yourself
thinking, ‘I need a break?’6
LL: Yeah, and you can take breaks, but you just have to know
when the time is right. Because it’s also good to keep the pace
going. You become a family when you’re on a set, and then when
the project wraps, it just stops. So it’s like culture shock – you don’t
know what to do with yourself. It’s good to have things to keep
your mind active. And it also helps to keep in touch with all those
people, which I do. Like [ Parent Trap director and co-writer]
Nancy Meyers and her daughters, we’re all really close.
You’ve worked with so many of the absolute biggest
names in the industry – is there anyone you interact with
professionally or otherwise who you get nervous around?
LL: Al Pacino.7 I have actually asked him for a lot of advice
for a lot of things, especially work-wise and just life-wise,
because he’s a great person to talk to. Recently, I was at a
restaurant in San Francisco with my husband and his family,
and all of a sudden, this waiter was bringing our food to a
different table, or I thought he was... I was like, ‘Oh no, he’s
taking that to the other table,’ and then I realised he was
blocking a paparazzi flash. And so when he came by, I go,
‘Oh, thank you so much for doing that.’ And he goes, ‘Oh.
No, I wasn’t blocking it for you. Al Pacino’s here.’
I went to say hi. I don’t get nervous talking to him on the
phone, but I was nervous this time. And I was like, ‘Is it okay
if we take a picture? We need to photograph this moment.’

72

C o s m o p o l i ta n

What’s the best advice he has given you?
LL: He always says, ‘Focus on your craft when it comes to your
work.’ And I think that’s really important. Don’t let other outside
things blur your vision.
It seems like you’re trying a lot of new skills these days –
like with your podcast, where you bring on guests who are
experts in all sorts of different fields, from YouTuber Gigi
Gorgeous to Salt-N-Pepa. You’re quite a good interviewer.
LL: Thank you, because I still get nervous. I’m so used to being
asked the questions, so it’s very different for me to have to ask
the questions. Usually, I know the person. I like to just keep it
very lighthearted and very friendly because that’s more
interesting to me – the getting to know who someone really
is. It’s not about all the gossipy stuff.
There are definitely some good learnings and hacks
from your guests, too, about success and self-care. What
are your own non-negotiables when it comes to taking
care of yourself?
LL: Exercise. I love running on treadmills; it’s my favourite way
to just release. And I meditate in the mornings. I meditate in the
shower, actually.
What about your support system? Are there certain people
you always turn to?
LL: Well, I have an amazing husband, who’s a very calm
person.8 Just the best. And my family. And I feel like I have
a small group of good friends who are just really good
people. That’s the only support that I really need: friends,
family and loved ones.

4. At this moment, she raises an eyebrow, pauses for laughs, and looks around
the room. Like she said, she’s good at comedy.
5. Lindsay superfans might remember that she has, sort of, done an action
film – or at least a trailer for a fake one. Remember how Cameron Diaz’s
overachieving movie-trailer editor character in The Holiday splices together
footage of Lindsay and James Franco’s upcoming ‘hit’? ‘We always said we
should make that movie one day,’ Lindsay says. ‘I’m still waiting for Nancy
Meyers to write it.’
6. Lindsay’s publicist Leslie chimes in: ‘We had to throw her a Sweet 17 party
because she never had a Sweet 16. She was on-set.’
7. Yes, Lindsay and Al Pacino are friends. They connected in London in 2014
when she acted in the play Speed-the-Plow, written by his friend David Mamet,
and he offered her advice for her pre- and post-show rituals.
8. Can confirm. Lindsay’s husband, Bader Shammas, has exceptionally chill
energy. He quietly stopped by set midday with her brother Cody. Lindsay is
resolute in keeping the details of their relationship private but occasionally
slips in compliments about him on her podcast, where she’s said, ‘He is one
of the wisest people I know and gives the most sound advice.’

Dress, Alexandre Vauthier;
ring, Sauer

Do you feel like people are rooting for your success?
LL: I feel everything’s very positive, and I like that. I want to keep
that momentum.

What about other hobbies outside of work? Do you
collect anything?
LL: Purses. Vintage clothing. And vintage jewellery, too,
actually. If I see something, I’ll wait on it, and if I keep thinking
about it a week, two weeks, three weeks later, then I will go
get it. So I’m actually really good. I used to be like, get it right
away. I used to be impulsive. I’m not any more.9

You’re about to be taking pictures all day, with all eyes on
you. What’s going through your head right before that?
LL: I kind of just immerse myself in it right away. It’s just like,
something happens. And it’s always been like that with me. I just
change. I get comfortable right away. The second I’m in front of
the camera, everything else stops.

What are you most proud of in this moment?
LL: The future, I think. I’m excited for the future and I’m
just proud of how everything’s coming together.

9. The waiting rule doesn’t seem to apply when the piece is just That Good – as
was the case with an Alaïa bodysuit she bought right off the rack on-set to wear
straight to dinner after the shoot.

74

C o s m o p o l i ta n

FOR SHOPPING INFORMATION, GO TO COSMOPOLITAN.COM/UK

Are those mostly industry friends or other people?
LL: No, not industry friends. Totally separate.

This page: jacket, skirt,
Christian Siriano; earrings,
two-finger ring, Ara
Vartanian; ring, Sauer.
Opposite page: jumpsuit,
Chanel at New York
Vintage; heels, Roger
Vivier; necklace, Tiffany &
Co; ring, Melissa Kaye
Hair: DJ Quintero for
Living Proof at The Wall
Group. Make-up: Kristofer
Buckle at Crosby Carter
Management. Manicure:
Elle Gerstein at Crosby
Carter Management.
Props: Chelsea Maruskin
at Art Department.
Location: Roxy Cinema
New York

!
WARNING
Contains
descriptions of
sexual assault
and extreme
language some
might find
upsetting

76

C o s m o p o l i ta n

The rise
of the
mega
misogynists
They make outrageous statements. They’re
banned from social media. Yet, despite huge
strides towards gender equality in some
areas of society, a new breed of misogynist
is thriving. Is it just that controversy sells,
or is something more insidious going on?
Harriet Hall enters their world to find out…
I L L U S T R AT I O N : M I C H E L L E T H O M P S O N

C o s m o p o l i ta n

77

was nowhere until he was everywhere. Over a few
short, hectic weeks this summer, his name was searched
more times than Donald Trump or Kim Kardashian.
And then he disappeared. His stratospheric internet
fame led to an outright blanket ban from almost all
social media, with Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and
YouTube all citing violations of their policies (Twitter
had removed him some time earlier). The ex-Big
Brother contestant turned self-appointed lifestyle
guru finally appeared to fade into the digital ether.
And now? Former kickboxing world champion
Andrew Tate, a man who has been labelled ‘violently
misogynistic’, is in my living room. Almost. We’re talking
over Zoom; Tate is in an Airbnb – a reproduction of
Michelangelo’s Creation Of Adam hangs on the wall
behind him, forming the backdrop to our conversation,
which returns to religion several times and how Tate
moulds men in his image. He tells me no one wants
to hear ‘his side’ of the story. I suspect much of the
media doesn’t want to platform him – a consideration
that the Cosmopolitan UK team debated in depth
over the course of several days. But Tate already has
global infamy, so we decided to speak to him. Not to
boost his ego, or give air to his damaging views, but
instead to find out why men like him thrive. Because,
despite the outpouring of criticism directed at him,
Tate still has an army of loyal fans. What does his
influence mean to them? Could the men in our lives be
among them? And what does his success say about
society? I immersed myself in his world to find out.

78

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Andrew Tate is nothing new. He slots
neatly into a long line of men who have
gained cult-like followings online, with
content promising self-improvement
and a community where men feeling
confused or angry can vent and receive
the validation they don’t feel they can find
elsewhere. Tate is but one small part of
the manosphere, a digital ecosystem
that includes: pick-up artists (PUAs);
involuntary celibates; men going their own
way; and so-called ‘men’s rights activists’.
Even if you’re not familiar with the
manosphere, you’ve probably heard of at
least one of its inhabitants. There’s Neil
Strauss, and his bestseller The Game, which
armed men with unscrupulous dating
tactics such as ‘isolating the target’ and
lowering women’s self-esteem by ‘negging’
them with backhanded compliments. It
sold 2.5million copies. Strauss wasn’t the
first PUA, but The Game brought the ‘art
of seduction’ to the mainstream, so much
so that negging and other tactics can still
be spotted in action. Then there’s ‘dating
coach’ Julien Blanc and ‘neo-masculinist’
Daryush Valizadeh (Roosh V) – who, in
2014 and 2016 respectively were the
subjects of petitions to be barred from
several countries after being accused of
promoting violent sexual assault. Blanc,
who later claimed his comments had been
‘a horrible attempt at humour’ was barred
from entering the UK and had his Australian
visa revoked. Roosh, meanwhile, said his
blog post had merely been a ‘satirical
thought experiment’.
So where does Tate fit into all this? The
35-year-old son of a trailblazing African
American chess grandmaster grew up in
Chicago and was raised on a council estate in
Luton by his mother after his parents split
up. Now, he teaches men to beef up and get
rich to attract women, occupying a space
somewhere between a PUA and a life coach,
sharing images of his macho lifestyle – fast
cars, cigars, girls and guns (which some
say are fakes) – with his followers, as well
as offering them dubious financial advice.
His notoriety extends far beyond his
carefully curated corner of the internet,
with news stories including his expulsion
from 2016’s Big Brother after a series
of racist and homophobic tweets were
unearthed alongside a video in which
he appeared to be beating a woman with
a belt. Tate and the woman claiming to
be in the video both say the act was

READ

consensual. Campaign group Hope Not Hate has also argued that Tate has
a ‘long history’ of links with the far right, pointing to his support for English
Defence League co-founder Tommy Robinson. Then, in April this year, Tate
and his brother Tristan’s Romanian home was raided by police under suspicion
of human trafficking. No arrests were made, and Tate has dismissed it as
a set-up by his critics, but the Romanian Directorate for Investigating Organized
Crime and Terrorism confirmed to Cosmopolitan UK that an investigation was
ongoing and included rape allegations. Despite (or more likely because of)
this, Tate’s infamy has not ceased. He may be banned from mainstream social
platforms but – as he’ll later tell me – men are still flocking to him for guidance.

Meeting Andrew Tate
‘Video call is amazing idea. Tomorrow?’ [sic] is Tate’s response when I agree to
an interview, then before we meet, he sends me an hour-long video entitled
‘Andrew Tate’s final message’, saying it is ‘the TRUTH about what’s happening
to me’. In it, Tate claims his comments have been taken out of context and sad
music plays as he describes himself as having had a ‘very hard life’.
Given Tate’s erratic email manner, in which
he threatens to sue me before we’ve even
spoken, I brace for a hard time. But when we
do eventually talk, he is, largely, polite. He is
on time and repeatedly flatters me for being
a ‘real journalist’ for speaking directly to him
(though he hates the ‘media machine’, natch).
Soon enough, he’s on his soapbox, extolling the
virtues of men being ‘real men’ and condemning
‘skinny vegan soy boys’ and calling me ‘my dear’.
Tate speaks in a hyperbolic, Trumpian manner, making statements such as,
‘I wanna make something very, very clear, everyone loves me,’ and, ‘Since
they banned me, turned me into a martyr, I have unlimited support like
never before. Hundreds of thousands of emails of support, huge media offers
from alternative platforms, millions of dollars.’ He says he is ‘the only person
in national or international consciousness who cares about how men feel’.
He says men are ‘completely underrepresented on every single level, they
always have been’, then cites high suicide rates, poor school performance,

Tate speaks in
a hyperbolic,
Trumpian
mannner

Tox i c m a s c u l i n i t y

high male prison populations and what he
sees as the increasing feminisation of men in
pop culture. ‘We’re tired of being told that we
have this massive privilege, while our lives are
extremely difficult.’
Tate’s persistence that women have the
real upper hand in society ignores the reality
that they continue to face inequality and
discrimination on a daily basis, with one in
four women raped or sexually assaulted and
rape reports on the increase. While there are
male rape victims, men also make up the
majority of perpetrators – 98%. Women also
continue to face inequality at work, with the
UK gender pay gap increasing to 15.4% in 2021,
just 8% of FTSE 100 companies having a female
CEO and women being more likely than men
to earn below the Living Wage, despite still
doing 75% of the unpaid care work globally.
But while – intersectionality aside –
men are the absolute least marginalised
community on the planet, there are some
kernels of truth amid the tsunami of untruths
and exaggerations Tate trumpets. Suicide is
a serious concern – and the leading cause of
death for men under 50 in the UK; men are
also more likely than women to sleep rough;
and they experience more social isolation than
girls and women, reporting significantly less
life satisfaction than women, while also being
less likely to access support when they are
struggling. According to a recent Cosmopolitan
UK survey, 92% of you worry about the mental
health of the men in your life. And 65% of
you think they don’t have any positive role
models. Is it this gap in the market that Tate
has muscled in on?
One of the key platforms through which
Tate connects to his fans is his online course
Hustler’s University (HU). For $49.99 a month,
100k [Tate claims] subscribers can access
advice on topics including cryptocurrency,
copywriting, e-commerce and even dating
(via the PHD – Pimpin’ Hoes Degree – yes,
really). An Observer investigation in August
this year found that members of HU were being
encouraged to inundate social media with
clips of Tate, directing people to the course
and earning affiliate revenue in the process. It
is understood that this is how Tate cultivated
his 4.7m Instagram followers and over 12bn
views on TikTok before the platforms shut
him down. Among the clips, Tate says women
should ‘bear some responsibility’ for being
raped and talks about how he prefers to date
18- to 19-year-olds because they’ve ‘been
through less dick’. Not only that, but he also
says that ‘99% of the world’s problems would

C o s m o p o l i ta n

79

Tox i c m a s c u l i n i t y

be solved if females walked through life with their body count [their number
of sexual partners] on their forehead’.
But Tate’s content is not all bigotry and bravado. The self-help market has
never been bigger. And in many ways, Tate is simply tapping into it. Much of his
messaging seems to align with the ethos of manifestation – change your mindset
to change your life. He tells his followers, ‘You have to believe you can achieve
anything,’ and that ‘feeling depressed is real […] but must be used as a motivation
to alter your circumstances’. He sermonises social mobility through self-belief
and hard graft. It’s easy to see how he might appeal to someone struggling with
low confidence and little social support.
Tate insists that most of what’s been said about him is ‘media selectiveness’.
He won’t backtrack or apologise, saying he has been ‘unfairly vilified’. When I put
some of his more alarming statements about women to him, he doubles down – ‘I
stand by everything I’ve ever said.’ He says that teaching men to ‘protect and provide’
helps their mental health, framing comments about women being men’s property
as religious. ‘Attacking me is attacking Christianity, it’s attacking the Qur’an.’
Later that week, I follow Tate into his underground community. Since being
banned from social media, he and thousands of his followers have decamped
to encrypted messaging services as well as video platform Rumble, popular
among the alt-right. It’s here that Tate, referring to himself as Top G, hosts his
late-night ‘Emergency Meeting’ with his brother Tristan, saying, ‘We’re going
to penetrate the Matrix.’ The pair claim as many as 70,000 people are watching
the live stream and encourage them to film it
and share the videos across social media (the
first video has since garnered over 800,000
views). When Cosmopolitan UK reached out to
Rumble for comment, they declined to reply,
instead tweeting our email along with the
message, ‘Like everyone else, you’re welcome
to join Rumble, but first look in the mirror.’
I pose as a man to enquire about joining
HU and am given a code and directed to several
Tate groups. In one, he organises ‘crypto pumps’, encouraging his followers to buy
certain currencies en masse and then sell them off piecemeal as the price
increases – potentially illegal with real stocks but currently not in the unregulated
crypto world. In others, he shares masculine dogma, photographs of women he’s
slept with and links to his courses, as well as promoting the teachings of other
men. One, called Stirling Cooper (who the brothers later endorse on Rumble), sells
a sexual dominance course that includes advice such as ‘smack her in the face
with your dick’, and ‘fist her pussy’. Another is David Bond, who teaches how to
‘cheat’ dating apps because they’re ‘rigged against men’. Conflictingly, Tate also
shares a list of ways to ‘be a G’ including, ‘G’s treat all women with respect’.

How can
we dissuade
men from the
manosphere?

Hard to find a good manosphere
‘It really gets me a little bit angry […] He would never do anything to hurt women,’
retorts 32-year-old Nino Haralambidis, when I ask how he feels about misogyny
accusations against Tate. When Nino first came across Tate via YouTube in 2018,
he thought he was ‘such an ass’, but soon warmed to him. ‘He is just trying to be
very provocative, but the message behind it is really good. He is trying to give
men more power, more self-confidence.’ Nino credits Tate with building his selfesteem and the success of his online business. Nino is not what I was expecting.
He is smiley, affable and amenable to my questions. He has a long-term girlfriend
who he says also believes ‘the good [Tate] does far outweighs the things people
might misinterpret’. But, soon enough, Nino begins to parrot Tate-isms. ‘I feel
like women who are most happy are not the women in the CEO stuff, but more
the women who have a family, who have kids and a good husband.’
Nino is clearly somewhat of a superfan. And, it seems, there are varying
degrees of Tate fandom: those who find humour in his bombastic diatribes and

80

C o s m o p o l i ta n

those who sign up for his courses and follow
him to whatever social network he pops up on
next. Then there are those who have somehow
lost direction – and view the ultra-rich lifestyle
Tate portrays as an easy route out of misery
in an increasingly status-driven world. Not
everyone who follows Tate or has shared one
of his videos will agree with everything he says
or get sucked into superfandom like Nino, but
– whether those watching his content realise
it or not – there’s a market for misogyny that
does not begin, or end, with Tate.
Just as Tate appears to be inspired by the
manosphere members before him, there are
people cropping up across several platforms
whose views are eerily similar to his and still
remain live on some sites, peddling their sexist
wares and turning a profit. Alongside Cooper
and Bond, there’s Tate collaborator Sneako,
who also shares ‘motivational’ advice alongside
more troubling views such as: ‘feminism is about
taking all the power while men are struggling’;
and ‘a woman’s worth is what she looks like
and a man’s worth is your masculinity, is your
respect’. Sneako has been banned from TikTok,
Twitter and YouTube but – at the time of
printing – is still on Instagram. Podcaster duo
Fresh&Fit are also live across several platforms,
sharing views like: women ‘naturally wanna
be submissive’; and ‘women know deep down
that they’re not f***ing leaders’. They all share
Tate’s toxic combination that thrives in our
attention economy – packaging themselves
as one-stop solutions to life’s ills, with a good
dollop of controversy thrown in, to guarantee
quick and easy clicks. As Tate himself once
said, ‘What you ideally want is a mix of 60%
to 70% fans and 30% to 40% haters. You want
arguments, you want war.’ Callum Hood,
head of research at the Center for Countering
Digital Hate, explains that there’s a financial
incentive in spreading hate. ‘Just think of
Roosh V and his site. They make ad revenue
on their controversial websites – this is the
business model.’ He also points to Paul Elam,
who once launched ‘Bash a Violent Bitch
Month’ on his site and is still on YouTube
monetising his alarming views.

The world he’s created
So where do we go from here? The ‘war’ and
‘arguments’ that Tate knows can boost his
following (and bank balance) have very real
consequences that ripple down, impacting
young women across the globe.
On Mumsnet, one woman shared that her
boyfriend claimed that Tate had ‘set men free
and made it so they can finally speak their

PHOTOGRAPHY: SHUTTERSTOCK

READ

READ

minds’. This was followed by comments such as ‘women are like
annoying children’ and they ‘take advantage of men’. She pleaded
with the community for advice on what she should do. During
Tate’s popularity peak, teachers took to social media to raise
concerns about boys in their classes quoting the influencer and
even refusing to do homework assigned by female teachers.
Meanwhile, Plan International research from August 2020 revealed
that more than half of young women had experienced online
harassment. Research also shows a correlation between online
misogyny and real-life behaviour, with several studies linking
‘traditional views of masculinity’ to a higher likelihood of violence
against women. Our poll also showed that 59% of you had noticed
a recent rise in casual sexism.
As for men, the problems mentioned here remain. Despite
Tate previously saying that he’s ‘saved thousands of men from
depression’, men’s mental health is in trouble – and Tate is a
misdirect. Tate’s (and others’ like him) Don’t Worry Darling desire
to return to rigid gender roles leads followers down a path that
can surely only worsen their mindset in the long term. Numerous
studies oppose this approach, showing that the pressure to
conform to masculine stereotypes – such as being tough and in
control – is associated with an increased risk of depression. Laura
Bates, founder of the Everyday Sexism Project and author of Men
Who Hate Women, echoes my reflections. ‘The great irony is that
if there is a crisis in masculinity it is precisely because of the
outdated, stereotypical pressures for men to be strong and
invulnerable that Tate and his ilk champion,’ she says, adding
that, in her view, ‘the truth is that they have no real interest
in addressing issues that affect men because that wouldn’t be
profitable for them’.
We’re left with a quandary. If these men are profiting from
outrage, is the answer to ignore them entirely? In Tate’s own
words, this would only cut off 30% to 40% of his following. In
which case, what can be done to dissuade men from turning to

Where to
get help
White Ribbon
...works with men
and boys to end
violence against
women and girls
Samaritans
If you’re
struggling with
any mental health
issues, the free
support line is
available 24/7
Rape Crisis
Specialised,
independent
and confidential
support for
women and
girls who have
experienced any
form of sexual
violence
UK Feminista
...provides
training and
resources in a
bid to end sexism
in schools, as
well as working
with survivors

Tox i c m a s c u l i n i t y

the manosphere when faced with a crisis?
Early education and proper mental health
support for men and boys is essential, but
we must protect women from the dangers
of misogynistic messaging, too. Charities
are urging the government to bring
forward the Online Safety Bill – which, at
the time of writing, remains paused in its
passage through parliament – and for it
to include a Violence Against Women and
Girls Code of Practice.
Positively, in June, research from the
British Association for Counselling and
Psychotherapy found that men are far more
likely to go to therapy now than they were
a decade ago, so progress is being made.
Conversations are happening, legislation
is in motion and, while drilling down into
the more unsavoury parts of the internet is
troubling, these views are widely
condemned when they seep into the
mainstream. What we can do is to continue
to emphasise the positive aspects of
masculinity and to remind ourselves that
the vast majority of men don’t want to live
in a society where we see this extreme
normalisation of misogyny. And for those
who find comfort or even entertainment
in men such as Tate, reiterating that one
ostensibly innocent ‘share’ or ‘follow’ can
open up a gateway to the mainstream
acceptance of violence against women
and that there are myriad alternative
spaces where they can be heard.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

81

What does it take to make it in the world of A-list
nails? From 10-hour paint sessions and competitive
nail conventions to Lady Gaga music videos and
the Met Gala red carpet, we found out
BY HAN NA I B R AH E E M

82

C o s m o p o l i ta n

READ

Nail art

C o s m o p o l i ta n

83

hen the
front
row has
departed,
the catwalk
show is
over and
the models
replaced
by crew in neon jackets, it’s
unlikely anyone thinks to look
down at a fashion show’s
detritus. But they should.
Scattered across the floor, like confetti at the end of a concert, you’ll find
tiny, squashed nail tips, pulled off nail beds and discarded, only to be swept
up and never seen again. Look a little closer and you’ll realise this debris
isn’t any old litter. These tiny tips are miniature works of art. Art that has
taken hours to create, craft and develop. Art that has utilised everything
from intricate colour palettes and brushes to powders, feathers and even
gemstones. Art that is years in the making, its masters battling it out to get
where they are. This is the world of high-fashion, high-concept celebrity nail
art. An industry where, if you scratch below the surface, the high stakes and
even higher drama are as outlandish as the creations themselves…
After decades of being seen by many as the supporting act to hair and
make-up’s headliner, nails have finally earned their rightful place in the
(UV) spotlight. Starting in humble local nail salons, a staple of any high
street, the mastery of a good manicurist grew in fame and status the same
way as most things: the internet. Thanks to social media sites like Pinterest
and Instagram (remember those #ManiMonday posts?), the 2000s saw
nails become a key accessory to any outfit. Then, things blew up even more
when CND (aka Creative Nail Design) launched the first ever gel polish in
2008 – it quickly became known as the two-week manicure. As interest in
nails grew, so did the industry’s worth. In fact, the global nail-care market
is estimated to reach £9.6bn by 2027, while #nails has over 78.2bn views
on TikTok, up by 20bn over the summer of 2022. Good to know I’m not the
only one having midnight mani scrolling sessions. But what does it take to
get a piece of that pie? I set out to meet the artists and technicians at every
level of the game to find out.
One woman who’s seen the evolution of nail art from something barely
considered by the fashion world to a billion-pound business, is Marian
Newman. After 35 years in the industry, she is an icon. But as she tells me
over a Zoom call, when she first started out, arriving on shoots to work ‘only
on nails’, she was often ‘looked up and down’.
A self-proclaimed ‘science education geek’, Newman started out in
forensics with the Metropolitan Police. (Yep, you read that right…) She came

84

C o s m o p o l i ta n

across the world of nails ‘completely by
accident’ while helping a friend with some
research and just fell in love with it. So,
after leaving her job, she gained her nail
qualifications and began working with
the Hair and Beauty Therapy Training
Board (which later became Habia). One
day, a few years later, the office received
a random call from a photographer who
needed a nail artist for a shoe advertising
campaign. ‘It was unheard of in 1996,’ she
says. But Newman went along with her
little kit. And this is what you might call
her big break.
The photographer, it transpired, was
the legendary Nick Knight, and the stylist?
A fashion director at Vogue. A month later,
she was approached again, this time for
a shoot commissioned by the magazine
– working on Kate Moss for the cover. ‘I
never looked back,’ she says.

Inside the pressure cooker
Newman has since worked on numerous
shoots and more than 500 fashion shows,
but one of her most memorable was when
model Debra Shaw took to the catwalk,
for Alexander McQueen’s Givenchy Haute
Couture AW97 show, wearing 13-inch

READ

Nail art

24 hours painting
and breathing
in the fumes,’
exclaims Francis.
As for the big
event itself, it’s a
far cry from the
glitzy setting
you’d imagine. While hairstylists and
make-up artists are given allotted times,
the nail team often aren’t given any time at
all. ‘We’re basically the bottom of the food
chain,’ says Francis. ‘We’ll sit on the floor
or under the table and we have to be in
and out very quickly.’ And that’s assuming
the designer hasn’t changed their mind
on the type of nail they want on the day
of the show itself.
When I ask Newman about her wildest
nail creation of all time, one look comes
to mind – worn by Lady Gaga in her You
And I music video. ‘It was two nails riveted
together so that they swivelled,’ says
Newman. ‘I went to Omaha, Nebraska,
into a cornfield in 40°C heat to make that
video. I’ve never been so hot in my entire
life.’ When Gaga saw her swivelling nails,
she loved them so much that she told the
director they had to get them in shot.
‘We were there for a week,’ says
Newman. ‘At one point, Gaga was a
mermaid and had special effect gills on
her cheeks and neck. So, I made nails that
were meant to be an alternative breathing
apparatus. I added a hole at the back of
them so she could put them to her mouth
and appear to breathe through them.’
Another Gaga music video – Born This
Way – saw Newman create a backbone on
Gaga’s nail. If you look at the video closely,
you may even spot instances where her
nails resemble the Sydney Opera House.
No matter what’s thrown her way, Newman
has built a kit to help her achieve it. ‘I have
all sorts of strange stuff: feathers, sand,
gravel, millets – who else has flipping
millets in their kit?’
But it’s not just a big kit and an even
bigger imagination that cements a nail
artist as a celeb’s go-to. For nail notoriety
today, social media has become a nonnegotiable. And nail professionals are fast
building followings that rival those of their
A-list clients. Nail artist Chaun Legend –
who has painted the fingertips of Rihanna,
Zendaya and Cardi B – has 1.3m followers

Opposite page:
Nailympia 2017
Left: Marian
Newman’s 13-inch
spiral nails for an
Alexander McQueen
show in 1997

spiral nails (above). This was one of the first times that nails had a major
catwalk ‘moment’ in the world of high fashion.
‘I didn’t have a clue what I was doing,’ she reflects. ‘My science background
allowed me to work out a way to create four spiral nails. I took them to Paris,
showed Lee [McQueen’s real first name] and he loved them, so then I had to
make another six in my hotel room.
‘I had someone helping me make them in the bathroom, using liquid and
this white powder in a tub. She knocked the powder all over the bathroom
of this very swish Parisian hotel and I thought we were going to get thrown
out,’ she laughs. Each nail took around an
hour and a half to create – for 10 nails, that’s
15 hours. As they were so long, Newman had
to apply them to Shaw’s fingertips after she
got dressed, to avoid damaging the clothes.
But working on shows didn’t always go to
plan. ‘For the same show, Naomi Campbell
was wearing bespoke diamond-covered
sandals and I had to create a specific
Maori design for her toenail art,’ Newman
remembers. ‘I spent a day painting designs
on a test model and taking pictures. But on
the day, Naomi was late and after all that
work, there was no time to paint it.’
When asked to describe the atmosphere
backstage in one word, Newman quickly responds: ‘Pressure. There’s a total
lack of space; the heat, which is always off the charts; and the tight constraints
– every member must be able to deal with it and not have a meltdown.’
Nail artist Metta Francis, who heard about jobs backstage through fellow
manicurists, agrees. Having worked on numerous nail teams during fashion
week, including alongside Newman, Francis recalls the prep period that goes
into a show, known in the industry as ‘nail factory’. ‘We’ll paint rows and rows
of acrylic nails – you need a set for each model, plus spares, in case any get
lost, or they aren’t the right size,’ she says.
Often, the nail look is only confirmed the night before a show. So nail artists
suddenly find themselves pulling an all-nighter. ‘Once, in Milan, six of us spent

‘Each nail took
around an
hour and a half
to create – for
10 nails, that’s
15 hours’

C o s m o p o l i ta n

85

READ

Nail art

on Instagram and, earlier this year, released his own press-on collection in
collaboration with Lottie London. His feed shows a life that looks as glam as
you’d expect – yachts, flights around the world for celebrity photo shoots,
red carpet events, you get the picture. Case in point? Working behind the
scenes at this year’s Met Gala with Khloé Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, Lori
Harvey and La La Anthony. Despite what it looks like on your Insta feed, it’s
back-breaking work.
Take Legend’s collaboration with James Charles for a YouTube video. ‘He
had 10 friends give ideas of what he should do with each finger,’ explains
Legend. ‘On one finger, I created an extension of a hand with nails sculpted on
to that. One nail had a horn coming out of it with a drilled hole and piercing.’
And that’s before Legend added a hand-painted Gryffindor crest. ‘It took a
long-ass time to do – 10 hours, around an hour per finger.’
There’s no doubt life at the top is tough. But what about those just starting
out? And how do you find the energy to keep going when you don’t have the
sweetener of high-end clients with high-end rates to match?

Competition and commitment
Picture this: you walk into a room with rows upon rows of individual desks.
Every chair is filled, its occupants crouched over, hard at work. A group of
10 judges roam the aisles, inspecting every detail of the painstaking work
taking place. No, this isn’t an A-level exam. It’s Nailympia, viewed as the
Olympics of the nail art industry.
Alex Fox, founding editor of Scratch magazine (the leading publication
for nail professionals), first learned about The Nail Olympics – the name
later changed to Nailympia, after they were told they weren’t allowed to
use the word ‘Olympics’ – while attending the championships in Austria. ‘It
was crazy,’ she remembers. ‘[There were people riding] motorbikes on the
stage, there were rock ’n’ roll bands and indoor pyrotechnics.’
So, in May 2005, Fox decided to host the first Nail Olympics in the
UK at Olympia London. After missing 2020 and 2021 due to the pandemic,
the competition is now in its 16th year. Attracting a crowd of thousands,
and in the region of 230 competitors, the event has even branched out to
Germany, the United States, Mexico, Canada,
Australia and Estonia.
Contestants pay a fee of around £300
to enter, and categories include The Joy
of Nails, Runway, Invent a Nail Shape and
Reality (this year’s theme included ‘cake baker
nails’). On the final day, the judges hand out
medals across three skill divisions. ‘Winning
our medals and trophies has skyrocketed
careers and these winners can now command
a lot of money as nail educators,’ explains
Fox. ‘They get flown around the world as
teachers, become ambassadors, write books
and start their own brands.’ Newman adds:
‘For a set of nails, they can charge £500’.
Of course, it isn’t easy to win. In fact, the judging criteria is mind-blowing.
An acrylic nail will be assessed on everything from the apex and C-curve to
the upper arch and side walls. And that’s before they even get to cuticle care
and application technique. It’s a testament to the skill involved.
There are numerous other awards nail artists can enter, outside of
Nailympia. There’s the Scratch Stars Awards and BABTAC’s Nail Technician
award. ‘You have to submit an application form and a portfolio of your work
to prove why you’re worthy of the award,’ explains Francis, who recently won
Natural Nail Specialist of the Year at Scratch Stars. ‘There’s also a practical
day. In a simulation, five finalists are given a fake client and you go through

‘One nail had
a horn coming
out of it
with a drilled
hole and
piercing’

86

C o s m o p o l i ta n

the whole process of a consultation and
carrying out a nail treatment within 45
minutes.’ And it doesn’t end there, as each
finalist then goes through an interview
process. It’s intense.
Intense, and expensive. Not only do
these events require hours of preparation
beforehand, but also a substantial financial
outlay. Aside from any training courses,
there are also travel expenses, entry
fees and, of course, all the props and kit
required to compete.
Nail artist Annie Pham, from Kent,
tells me it’s taken years to build her kit. ‘I
started collecting bracelets, charms and
earrings. Then I bought fabric. All sorts of
things. I just keep adding. When I go back
to Vietnam, I tend to go nail shopping
there, as it’s a lot cheaper.’
But even when you’re fully kitted out,
it’s a constant reinvestment and scramble
to keep up with the latest trends. Nail
artist Sophie* tells me that any time a new
trend goes viral on Instagram, she has to
make sure she has all the tools necessary
to recreate it. ‘When glazed doughnut nails
were everywhere, I had to get my hands
on as many chrome polishes as possible,’
she says. ‘So many brands were sold out,
but I hunted them down as that’s what my
clients wanted.’
‘There are people who compete fulltime in the nail industry, and that’s their

PHOTOGRAPHY: STOCKSY. ARTWORK: PETER CROWTHER AT DEBUT ART. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY:
GETTY IMAGES; ALAMY; INSTAGRAM/@IAMCARDIB; INSTAGRAM/@THEESTALLION. *NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED

thing,’ says Francis. ‘They will travel from country
Opposite: Megan Thee
Stallion’s signature nails
to country, entering competitions and winning
Above: Cardi B’s
trophies. But you have to be so dedicated.’
Swarovski-encrusted
And what happens if you don’t win after
nails usually cost more
than $200 to create
committing all that time and money? Pham first
competed in 2020, creating one 11cm-long nail
that she spent nine hours crafting. ‘It took me a
good three months constantly working on what I wanted to enter. I didn’t
place. But I learned a lot from it.’

An equal playing field?
Despite the knock-backs (and cost), Pham is still committed to becoming
the best nail artist she can be. ‘You have to work so you can use that money
to buy things like materials, tools and training courses. I do training Monday
to Wednesday and work in a salon part-time Thursday to Saturday,’ she
explains. While training courses vary depending on the skill and educator, a
quick Google search tells me that a VTCT Level 3 Diploma in Nail Technology
(one of the highest qualifications you can get) will set you back £2,299 for
a two-month course, while a one-day diploma in acrylic nails costs £199.
So how does she kick back and relax when she’s not working in the salon
or on a training course? ‘I’ll stay after work for an extra four or five hours
and carry on perfecting my skills. I prefer doing it at night because no one
is around. It’s peaceful.’ And even when she gets home, Pham settles down
to watch nail tutorials.
She acknowledges that, as with any job, you have your good and bad
days, too. ‘It can be quite overwhelming when you can’t get things right and
you might have a little breakdown, but you just carry on,’ she says. ‘My job
is to make my clients happy. They come to the salon, I hold their hand for
an hour, they tell me everything about their lives and I feel like I’m doing
a therapist’s work, too, comforting them. It’s nice to share that with them.’
Pham’s ultimate goal is to be an educator, but it seems like an endless
cycle when she tells me the best way to get there is to complete yet more
training workshops. ‘You must keep improving yourself, take more courses –

you need to improve your knowledge,’ she
explains. ‘I don’t know when I’m going to
be ready, though.’
Simply put, I’m learning you have to
work (really, really) hard and invest a lot of
money to become a successful nail artist.
The world of nails has changed rapidly
since the industry’s icons first set out, and
it’s tougher than ever to make it to the big
time – thanks to wilder design requests, the
explosion of social media and the rising
cost of, well, everything.
But it’s a lot more than just filling
your kit and booking in clients. Nails
have long been a politicised statement
and whitewashing is a big problem in the
industry. We often see the Kardashians
getting praised for the same designs that
Black women have worn for years. ‘It’s
cultural appropriation, really,’ says Sophie.
‘As a Black woman, I enjoy expressing
myself through my nail art, but these
vibrant designs were usually labelled “too
ghetto” in professional settings.
‘Then long, acrylic nails became “a
trend” and like many other beauty trends
from the Black community, they’ve been
appropriated. Of course, anyone can wear
them, but we haven’t been recognised at
all. The headlines usually credit it to a
celebrity instead.’
Scroll through most of the Instagram
feeds for nail brands and you’ll also
notice a distinct lack of non-white hands.
Classism is rife, too, with press-on nails
and nail stickers often seen as ‘cheap’ in
some circles, yet worshipped as being
high fashion in others. ‘Now, we have more
incredible Black A-listers at the forefront,
such as Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion,
who have elevated the status of long, sharp
acrylic nails decorated in vibrant tones
and jewels,’ says Sophie.
For something as small as a nail bed,
it’s fiercely fought real estate. Yet while
the industry booms, the race to make it
to the top has, arguably, never been more
competitive, or challenging. What really
struck me over the course of writing
this feature wasn’t the celebrities, the
outlandish designs or rivalries – it was
the dedication, care and craftsmanship
of everyone I spoke to. So next time you
settle down for a manicure and request
the latest craze you saw on TikTok, spare a
thought for how many hours your nail tech
probably put into perfecting it.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

87

Welcome to the
What would you pay to start a family? Would you empty your savings? Barter with a
professional fertility treatments forcing many to spend thousands of pounds, a murky
But for many women, the long-term cost is much greater than they could have imagined.

88

C o s m o p o l i ta n

fertility black market
stranger? Agree to unprotected sex with someone you’ve never met? With
underworld has developed, offering fertilisation with ‘no strings attached’.
Now, new government legislation promises a solution. But will it work?
WO R D S : M EGA N WA L L AC E

C o s m o p o l i ta n

89

READ

Fe r t i l e g ro u n d

’m a digital shadow. As incognito as it’s
possible to get. My picture is the standard
nondescript outline and all my profile
contains is my (fake) name and my (fake)
age. I don’t expect much attention. I don’t
want any. I simply want to hover and drink
in my online surroundings. But within 20
minutes they’ve found me. There’s the
straight-to-the point anonymous account
(‘Hey, are you wanting a donor?’); the shell
account with 16 friends – the profile picture
is of a suspiciously blue-eyed baby that looks digitally
created or heavily photoshopped – (‘If you’re looking for
a donor, I would be interested to hear more about you’);
and there’s the overzealous group admin (‘I saw you join
a site and wondered if I can be any use to you’) who sends
30 pictures, showing themselves posing next to signs with
words such as ‘d*ck’, ‘p*ssy’ or ‘d*ke’. This is the fertility black
market, where bodily fluids are currency.
Clive Jones. ‘Joe Donor.’ Gennadij Raivich. These men are
not well known, but to some they’re infamous. Jones, a
66-year-old retired teacher, claims to be the ‘world’s most
prolific sperm donor’. He says he has fathered 129 children
(and counting) over the past nine years, travelling the
country in his van to give out his free ‘donations’. ‘Joe
Donor’ is the alias of an Essex-based man who says he has
fathered 150 children around the world
(his mission is to impregnate as many
women as he can – 2,500 is his goal.)
Then there’s Raivich who, in 2014,
was convicted on two counts of sexual
assault after fathering 58 children as a
sperm donor. A detective working on the
case said Raivich had ‘exploited’ the
woman ‘for his own sexual gratification’.
And these are just the stories that make
the headlines.
In recent years, online groups run by
so-called ‘donors’ like these men have begun to thrive as
a place to find ‘free’ sperm for artificial insemination –
particularly for single women and lesbian couples (although
there are heterosexual couples on there, too). Why? For
many, it’s a cost issue. Until recently, lesbian couples in
England (Scotland and Wales already offer equal funding
to same-sex couples) had to self-fund a minimum of six
rounds of IUI (intrauterine insemination) before they could
access NHS fertility support (heterosexual couples could
access treatment after two years of unprotected sex). In
a clinic, one round of IUI can cost between £350 and £1,600
– which doesn’t include the price of sperm, at around £1,000
per vial – or the costs of appointments, check-ups or health
screenings that might be part of the process.
Then, on 20 July this year, as part of NHS England’s
10-year Women’s Health Strategy, it was announced that
would no longer be the case. This means that soon there
will be no requirement to self-fund for those in female
same-sex relationships. ‘The changes outlined in the

Women’s Health Strategy will save these couples between
£2,100 and £12,000,’ says Katherine O’Brien, the associate
director of communications and campaigns at BPAS (the
British Pregnancy Advisory Service).
It’s progress. However, it isn’t a straightforward solution.
No fixed time frames have been given and ‘sadly, we aren’t
anticipating the changes coming into effect any time soon’,
O’Brien says. In addition, the NHS England strategy makes
no mention of, or provision for, single women. ‘We still
don’t know if their ability to access NHS treatment is going
to be improved at all,’ O’Brien explains. This means options
for single women remain adoption, egg freezing or IUI and
with it, that hefty price tag of up to £12,000. Or, online,
you can get an overnight delivery of a home-insemination
kit for £24.99 and find men who are willing to give
their sperm for free. Well, ‘free’ in a monetary sense, but I
soon realise there is an even greater cost than money at
stake, when my rudimentary Facebook profile manages
to gain access to three major sperm-donation groups based
in the UK.

In the trade
‘6ft tall. Fit and healthy. Well educated. NI only,’ is how
John Silver* introduces himself – accompanied by an armoutstretched selfie – to the 32,000 members of Sperm For
Free UK*. While there are similar offerings on other social
networking sites, with men placing personal adverts

90

C o s m o p o l i ta n

offering their sperm to those who need it, it’s on Facebook
where this scene really thrives. Type ‘sperm donor UK’ into
the search bar and a seemingly infinite scroll of groups
appears, with many of the most active ones requiring
admin approval for access.
These groups are essentially a space for personal ads
inviting comments and private messages, where wannabe
donors might share pictures of themselves with a caption
saying they’re ‘single, looking to help’ or boasting about
their fertility. Meanwhile, potential mothers post personal
details, often listing their relationship status and location.
Lots of the posts contain the initialisms AI and NI, which
stand for ‘Artificial Insemination’ (ie, fertilisation using a
pre-prepared sperm sample) and ‘Natural Insemination’
(ie, unprotected sex) – often it’s the women asking for the
former and the donors advertising the latter. Tellingly,
when I check the ‘About’ sections, I find the admins for all
these groups are cisgendered men. And, as revealed by
The Times, a large number are controlled by the same men

*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED

‘There were a lot of guys who
would offer to donate but only
if we got the stuff out ourselves’

PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES

READ

– two donors are the administrators of at least 10 UK groups,
with a total of more than 26,000 members. They can admit
members, monitor messages and exclude people.
When Rae and her wife of nine years decided they
wanted a child, they knew that their fertility journey would
be tough. Rae – a 36-year-old non-binary person, who had
opted to be the carrier – has a BMI of 50, so was automatically
discounted from accessing any NHS-funded fertility
treatments, which are only offered if you have a BMI of
between 19 and 30 (similar barriers are in place for
adoption, too). Knowing she’d receive no help from the
NHS, she tried to go down the private route – but quickly
realised that the costs were prohibitive. Things began to
look up when she contacted a private sperm donor in her
wider circle – until he began dodging her texts. ‘The month
we were going to try he said he was too busy and then he
started blowing us off, before ghosting us. I was heartbroken.’
At this point, Rae admits to asking ‘almost every guy I
knew’ to act as a sperm donor, but her search got her nowhere
– nowhere that is, apart from the ensnaring world of

Fe r t i l e g ro u n d

Facebook sperm-donation groups.
The stories she shares are alarming.
‘Things got a bit strange. There were
a lot of guys who would offer to
donate but only if we got the stuff
out ourselves.’ Taken aback, I press
for clarification – surely she can’t
mean these donors were asking for
hand jobs? ‘Yeah, pretty much.
Some were even saying, “You can
use your mouth,” or, “We have to
have a threesome.”’
Understandably,
these
unsolicited advances started to
take a toll on Rae and her partner’s
mental health – especially as many
donors proved to be inconsistent
or cancelled last minute when the
couple insisted upon artificial
insemination. As time wore on, she
even started to wonder if it might
be worth giving donors what they
so clearly wanted and opt for
natural insemination. ‘It was
horrible; neither I nor my partner
have been with a man, but we were
so desperate I was getting to a point
of thinking that maybe we should
just do it.’ Despite this mounting
pressure, Rae and her partner
weren’t coerced into any unwanted
sexual activity – and they’re glad
they trusted their instincts. But
these stumbling blocks did put a
stop to their search, two years into
the process, without having had a
successful donation.
I was horrified to learn of Rae’s
experience, but stories like this aren’t rare among the
women using sperm-donation Facebook groups – there
are numerous pages dedicated to testimonials. I gained
access to a secret, female-only group for discussing donors,
where many of the allegations focus on the issues of consent
flagged by Rae. Indeed, across the various feedback groups,
the accusations against donors are shocking – they include
stories of homophobic and misogynistic comments, getting
stood up at the last minute and repeatedly being messaged
by fake profiles claiming to be donors. There are men who
turn verbally abusive when ‘natural insemination’
(unprotected penetrative sex) is refused, those forging
STI certificates and others pushing for excessive payment
(in the UK, it’s illegal to pay donors, although their expenses
may be reimbursed – legitimate clinics allow them to claim
£35 per visit). It’s a terrifying, unregulated world where so
much can (and does) go heartbreakingly wrong.
Is it always this toxic? Well, yes, at least according to
Laura*, a single 44-year-old woman who began using the
groups in 2020. ‘I joined three Facebook sperm-donation

C o s m o p o l i ta n

91

READ

Fe r t i l e g ro u n d

she reports donors looking for
romantic connections – only to turn
nasty when she rebuffed their
advances. ‘When I told one guy I
wasn’t looking for a relationship,
I got a barrage of abusive messages
saying that I’m a tease.’

Sperm donated via
groups, all of which I have since left
a clinic undergoes
because it was so negative and such
rigorous testing for
a pack mentality,’ she says. ‘If you
sexual infections and
genetic conditions
didn’t like the three or four main
donors, then people would say,
“I thought you wanted a baby?” I do want a baby, just not
one with a million siblings.’
From her perspective, with the largest groups being
operated by the same handful of donors, vulnerable women
and non-binary people looking to start families can feel
like fresh meat in a sexual cattle market. ‘These admin
guys get first pick of recipients and I had messages from
them before my requests to join the groups were even
approved,’ says Laura. As a single, heterosexual woman in
groups predominantly populated by lesbian women and
queer couples, she found the sexual pressure from donors
pushing for natural insemination to be intense. ‘Because
I’m straight I was supposed to want NI [according to donors].
I told them that’s not how it works; I’m not going to have
sex with random guys because I want a child – women like
me aren’t in it for the sex, they just want a baby. Despite
that, I found I was constantly being manipulated by these
men so they could try to have sex with me.’ On top of that,

92

C o s m o p o l i ta n

†SOURCE: YOUGOV.CO.UK

A new family model
Amid the introductions, horror
stories and warnings, there are also
glimmers of hope dotted through
the feeds of these groups. Scans are
shared, accompanied by heart
emojis and expressions of thanks
to donors. Sarah*, a married lesbian,
is one of them. She and her partner
recently started a family, something
she never would have thought
possible. It’s a life she’d wanted for
so long and she eventually got it,
after meeting her donor via a
Facebook group. ‘We looked at both
clinics and the internet to find our
donor and we chose the internet
because we wanted to get to know
our donor,’ she says. There were,
however, some false starts. ‘We met
four donors face to face before
choosing: two were bad, two were
good. We picked the nicest of the
two good donors.’ She tells me that
her donor has 14 other children,
whose parents are all aware of each
another via a shared private
Facebook group. She paints a picture that many would
envisage as the perfect donor scenario and says, ‘He doesn’t
interfere but is always contactable.’
It’s a relief to hear a positive story, but even if the search
for a donor works out, it’s worth remembering there are
numerous other considerations. For starters, if you find
your sperm on the black market, you can’t always guarantee
a donor who doesn’t intervene. According to Gemma
Davison, senior associate at Stowe Family Law, the birth
mother will always be recognised as the legal mother – but
things get more complicated from there. One of the benefits
of using sperm from a clinic is that the donor is not
considered the legal parent of your child; your partner (if
you have one) is recognised as the second legal parent.
This is not the case on the black market. ‘When conceiving
a child using a sperm donor [not from a recognised clinic],
the method of conception and relationship status of those
involved determines the legal status of the other parent,
so it is imperative to obtain legal advice on this before
proceeding with a sperm-donor arrangement,’ says Davison.
In this instance, Sarah and her partner are married, which
grants protections, but for single women or unmarried
same-sex couples, the donor is considered a legal parent

READ

of any child conceived with his sperm. This means he can
claim rights or, conversely, the birth mother can pursue
child maintenance payments – and any contract or
arrangement you draw up between you will not be
recognised in the eyes of the law.
Health risks are another thing to consider if a donor is
found through ‘unofficial’ routes. Understandably, when
the exchange of bodily fluids is involved, there is an STI
risk when it comes to using donor sperm – whether it’s
from natural or artificial insemination. Many posts from
prospective mothers ask for STI tests in advance but it’s
worth remembering that these can be faked or, alternatively,
rendered useless if donors have unprotected sex after the
date of examination. On the other hand, as Rebecca Hay,
a fertility nurse and representative of the Evewell Clinic,
a London-based private fertility centre, explains, sperm
donated via a clinic undergoes rigorous protocol and is
screened for sexual infections such as hepatitis B and C,

Fe r t i l e g ro u n d

home insemination are legal, as money is not exchanged,
the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority
encourages caution owing to legal and health risks. The
legality of these groups is also dependent on how they’re
used: Facebook’s community guidelines prohibit groups
that encourage or coordinate sexual encounters (a rule
that should, technically, apply to NI groups) and anyone
charging for services beyond expenses is breaking the law.

Who has the right to become a parent?
One thing that struck me over the course of writing this
feature was the outdated state of the societal systems that
support fertility when it comes to what – and who – makes
a family. One in five young people now identify as LGBTQ+
(only 72% as ‘completely heterosexual’)†, the average age
of first-time mothers is increasing and the percentage of
single women aged 20 to 49 grew by 38% between 2002
and 2020 (while the population of the UK grew by 13.2%).
The new NHS strategy could
be a lifeline to many, but does it
go far enough? As a queer person
who would need to access fertility
support if I wanted to have a
biological child, it’s a huge
development. After years of batting
off my mum when she asks about
my future, I can allow myself to
dream about and, when I am ready,
plan to have kids. But despite what
these changes mean for people like
me, I remain deeply troubled by the exclusion of single
women from these developments.
My mother was single for my teen years and, for reasons
I won’t get into here, I opted not to have my father in my
life. Going through adolescence with just Mum, I had a
different experience from many of my peers, but I don’t
think it was a worse one. My mother worked hard to be a
mum, dad and, where appropriate, a friend to me. So I grew
up with an awareness of how hard so many women work
to keep the plates of home, children and work spinning,
and I became a more empathetic person than many of the
other teenagers I knew. I hate to think of the other women
who, like my mum, would pour their heart into nurturing
a child but who just won’t get the chance. Or who will have
to endure great emotional turmoil, reckoning with the
online black market or fertility clinics to do so – with little
help from the NHS, or support in a world where the word
‘family’ is still associated with a certain ideal and anyone
who doesn’t fit into that can feel out in the cold.
Many of us are sold on the idea of the nuclear family
– husband, wife and 2.5 kids. And after decades of activism,
queer couples are finally gaining some access to that dream.
It’s something we should all be able to celebrate, but the
story shouldn’t stop there. ‘Family’ should mean anything
– from two married parents, to a same-sex couple who
have used a donor, to a single mum who has used IVF. There
shouldn’t be just one or two routes – as long as the child is
loved and supported, what does it matter?

‘I was being manipulated
by these men so they could
try to have sex with me‘
HIV, syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhoea, as well as HTLV
(a cancer-causing virus) and CMV (a virus that may cause
birth defects).
And it doesn’t stop at STI screening. ‘The clinics also
do extensive genetic screening to see if donors are carriers
of any genetic conditions, such as cystic fibrosis,’ Hay
explains. In other words, clinics minimise the risks that
donated sperm may pass on genetic or inherited diseases
unbeknown to the carrier – something that has proven to
not always be the case in informal donor arrangements.
You may even have read in the news about James
MacDougall, a sperm donor who fathered (he says)
15 children as a donor by using social media groups, but
did not explain to his recipients the consequences of
fragile-x syndrome, the incurable hereditary condition
from which he suffers, which can cause a range of
developmental problems. In a rare move, he was named
publicly by the courts in an attempt to ensure that he
wouldn’t return to sperm donation.
These are some of the many reasons there are such
stringent rules around buying regulated, licensed sperm
for personal use in the home (or for use away from a licensed
clinic). Similarly, for those looking to buy sperm from
abroad, the sample will be shipped to a UK clinic for
screening (incurring related costs) and isn’t meant to be
shipped directly for home insemination, as the sample
quality cannot be guaranteed. While groups and sites
putting prospective parents into contact with donors for

C o s m o p o l i ta n

93

94

C o s m o p o l i ta n

READ

B e a u t y Awa rd s

Body
Treat yourself from top to toe with these supercharged
scrubs, glowy skin enhancers and dreamy creams

02
BODY LOTION

BODY SCRUB

01

Dove DermaSeries
Replenishing Body
Lotion, £15
Look after your skin’s
moisture barrier with
this comforting lotion.
It’s non-greasy and
made us feel like we
had our lives together.

Frank Body Glycolic
Body Scrub, £17
This hero scrub is rich
in glycolic and lactic
acids (the ingredients
that purge pores of
spot-causing gunk),
which helps keep your
limbs bump-free.

RAZOR

INSTANT TAN

03

01. SHAVING GEL

Wilkinson Sword
Intuition Complete
Bikini Trimmer
and Razor, £15
With a five-blade
razor on one end and
a waterproof trimmer
on the other, this makes
hair removal a breeze.

Estrid Watermelon
Jelly, £8.95
The much-loved
shower cleanser and
shave cream now has
a fragrance-free
formula, too – a
big hurrah from us
sensitive folks.

02. EXFOLIATING

BODY SERUM
Paula’s Choice 5%
Niacinamide Body
Serum, £34
PSA: niacinamide is
not just for your face!
This new serum helps
tackle patchy tone and
texture on your body.

03. DEODORANT

Akt The Deodorant
Balm SC.04 Halcyon
Summers, £19
Not only does this
deodorant have
environmental ethics
at its forefront but
there’s a gorgeous
minty scent, too.

Bondi Sands
Gradual Tanning
Lotion Tinted Skin
Perfector, £13.99
Wow, this ticks every
box – it gives limbs a
sun-kissed glow and
builds up into a longlasting tan over time.

BODY CREAM

HAND CREAM

HANDWASH

BODY WASH

GRADUAL TAN

FAKE TAN

This Works
Deep Sleep
Body Whip, £25
This buttery formula
melts into your skin,
cocooning you in its
lavender, camomile
and vetiver scent.

Lanolips Lano
Vanilla Hand Cream
Intense, £8.99
Hands feeling a bit like
sandpaper? A dollop
of this will sort that out,
with its soothing shea
butter and vitamin E.

Moroccanoil Liquid
Hand Wash, £18
Okay, whoever said
handwash can’t be
cute never met this
beauty with its spicy
amber scent and
nourishing formula.

Olverum Body
Cleanser, £26.50
Sensitive skin? You’ll
love this body wash.
Soap- and sulphatefree, it removes dirt
while respecting
the skin barrier.

He-Shi Hydra Luxe
Lotion, £19.99
If you’re over fake tan
clinging to flaky skin,
give this a try. Expect
a golden finish after
first use, or layer daily
for a deep bronze.

Vita Liberata
Untinted Heavenly
Tanning Elixir, £34
One of the longestlasting tans we’ve
tried, this liquid gold
fades over 10 days.
It smells divine, too.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

95

READ

B e a u t y Awa rd s

GLOW-BOOSTING
FACE MASK

FACIAL SPF

Skincare
Hada Labo Tokyo
Sun Face Cream
SPF50, £16.95
Loaded to the brim
with hyaluronic acid,
this SPF is the perfect
everyday UV defence
for dry skin types.

They’re the crème de la crème of beauty
treatments – our new bathroom-cabinet
staples deliver an all-day glow from the
moment the sun rises to the second it sets

FaceGym Cheat
Mask, £65
All the best ingredients
in one: lactic acid
gently exfoliates
while succinic acid
brightens the skin.

EYE CREAM

PORE MINIMISER

LIGHTWEIGHT
MOISTURISER

FACE MIST

GEL CLEANSER

LASH SERUM

Estée Lauder
Advanced Night
Repair (ANR)
Eye Supercharged
Gel-Creme, £52
This new cream for
the iconic ANR range
is here to tackle fine
lines and puffiness.

The Inkey List Excess
Oil Solution 20%
Niacinamide Serum,
£15.99
Mop up any signs of
excess sebum with
this clever formula
that also works to
improve skin texture.

Olay Hyaluronic24
+ Vitamin B5 Day
Gel Cream, £38
Nourishing and
fragrance-free, this
gel moisturiser
absorbs instantly –
a dream for those
with dehydrated skin.

Thayers Facial
Mist, £14.99
Our (and Zendaya’s)
favourite toner now
comes in mist form!
Not only does it
soothe skin, but it
hydrates, too –
a winter win-win.

The Body Shop
Edelweiss Cleansing
Concentrate, £12
A sink-side staple,
massage a 10p-sized
amount on wet skin
and watch it melt
away impurities
and make-up.

The Ordinary MultiPeptide Lash and
Brow Serum, £12.40
This viral TikTok
sensation sure does
work wonders: it has
given us thicker
and fuller lashes in
just a few weeks.

BRIGHTENING
SERUM

RETINOL
SERUM

RICH
MOISTURISER

FACE OIL

FOAMING
FACE WASH

MULTI-PURPOSE
BALM

L’Oréal Paris
Revitalift Clinical
Pure 12% Vitamin C
Serum, £29.99
This smoothing
powerhouse of
a serum has fast
become a team fave.

Kiehl’s Retinol
Fast Release
Wrinkle-Reducing
Night Serum, £68
Minimising lines in five
days sounds wild, but
this retinol-packed
formula truly acts fast.

Kate Somerville
HydraKate
Recharging Water
Cream, £65
AquaPort technology
is the key player here,
hydrating dry winter
skin for radiant results.

Ranavat Radiant
Rani Brightening
Saffron Face Oil, £135
Packed with glowy
ingredients, this oil
offers the perfect start
to a facial massage.
Spenny but effective.

ZitSticka Cushion
Cleanser, £34
There are plenty of
face washes on sale,
but very few support
acne-prone skin while
cleansing thoroughly.
This one does just that.

La Roche-Posay
Cicaplast Baume
B5, £15
This cream helps
soothe your winter
skin irritations, so you
can wave goodbye to
that tight, dry feeling.

SKIN
INNOVATION

EXFOLIATOR

OVERNIGHT
TREATMENT

SPOT TREATMENT

MAKE-UP
REMOVER

ANTI-AGEING
SERUM

Face Halo
Active Skin Set
+ Washbag, £27
These cleansing and
exfoliating pads are
reusable and ideal to
use on the go. Genius.

Dermalogica
Breakout Clearing
Liquid Peel, £23
This peel sloughs
away your dead skin
cells without irritation.
Just start slowly.

Sarah Chapman
Digital Rest Night
Cream, £57
Say no to blue light at
night – and yes to this
cream that renews
cells while you sleep.

CeraVe Blemish
Control Gel, £11
With 2% salicylic acid,
niacinamide and
ceramides, your spots
don’t stand a chance
against this little tube.

Bioderma Sensibio
H2O Eye, £12
This non-greasy lotion
makes quick work
of everything from
waterproof mascara to
pollen and pollutants.

Fresh Tea Elixir, £97
Our skin goes
through a lot of stress
(hello, blue light), but
there’s hope yet: this
milky serum shields
against it all.

96

C o s m o p o l i ta n

01. LIP
BALM

Doré Le
Baume, £11

A new handbag
staple for sure, this
balm contains castor
oil, aloe vera and
vitamin E, making it
ideal for soothing and
moisturising those
dry, chapped lips.
03. HYDRATING

SERUM
Trinny London
Plump Up Peptide+
HA Serum, £65

Your skin literally
drinks up this
lightweight formula.
The peptides help
with collagen
production for
plumper skin and the
hyaluronic acid stops
dryness in its tracks.

02. BLEMISH
PREVENTION
TONER

Medik8 Press
& Clear, £34

Salicylic acid is one of
the best ingredients for
combatting acne and,
formulated with 2%,
this toner revolutionises
skincare. We approve.
04. FIRMING
FACE MASK

Neal’s Yard Remedies
Frankincense Intense
Age-Defying Overnight
Mask, £50

Not only does this
boost hydration, but
it instantly smooths
and plumps thanks to
botanical adaptogens,
ashwaghanda and
turmeric root extracts,
leaving skin firmer.

03

02

01

04

C o s m o p o l i ta n

97

01. SHEER LIP

COLOUR
Violette_Fr
Bisou Balm, £29
Described as a ‘feelgood formula’ (and
we totally agree), this
buttery lip tint glides on,
smooths the lips and
gives a just-bitten
hint of colour.
02. LIQUID

EYELINER
04

Vieve Power
Ink Liner, £19
The teeny-tiny fine
point on this liner gives
a super precise line,
or you can build up to
an all-out cat eye –
whatever you choose,
the formula doesn’t
budge at all.

03. NAIL POLISH

01
03

Ashe London
Nail Polish, £15
There’s nothing we
love more than
discovering an amazing
new nail brand, and Ashe
London really delivers.
The vegan formula
and stunning shade
selection makes it
a firm fave of ours.

04. HIGHLIGHTER

Elf Halo Glow
Liquid Filter, £14
You may have seen
this highlighter all over
your TikTok FYP (For You
page) for boasting not
only a bright, beamy
glow, but also for
hydrating the skin.

02

98

C o s m o p o l i ta n

READ

B e a u t y Awa rd s

LIP LINER

LUXURY MASCARA

Make-up
Meet our new holy grails: these creamy
concealers, top-of-the-line tints and
velvety lipsticks have more than earned
their place in our beauty bags

Chanel Noir Allure
Mascara, £37
If thick, long lashes
are your goal, look no
further – this mascara
delivers the perfect
amount in one swoop.

Rare Beauty Kind
Words Lip Liner, £14
Selena knew what she
was doing with this.
The balm-like texture
glides on lips with
some serious pigment.

HIGH STREET
MASCARA

BROW GEL

UNDER-EYE
CONCEALER

FULL-COVERAGE
FOUNDATION

FULL-ON
LIP COLOUR

LIP GLOSS

L’Oréal Paris Pro XXL
Mascara, £13.49
Love a lash lift but
CBA to maintain it?
Want volume and
serious curl action?
This one is for you.

Sleek MakeUp
Brow Getter Fibre
Brow Gel, £7.99
This long-lasting gel
will reduce the time
you spend fussing
over those brows.

Rem Beauty
Sweetener
Concealer, £21
It blends easier than
soft Lurpak on warm
toast. With 60 shades,
everyone is covered.

YSL Beauty All Hours
Foundation, £36
This YSL foundation is
a dream: it perfects
your complexion and
allows your skin to
breathe beneath it.

Mac Powder Kiss
Velvet Blur Slim
Stick, £24
Moisturising and
matte – it’s unusual,
but it’s the best lipstick
we’ve tried to date.

Highr Collective
California Lip
Milk, £22
Is your lip gloss a sticky
hair magnet on windy
days? You need this
milky formula now.

EYESHADOW
PALETTE

BROW DEFINER

BLEMISH
CONCEALER

MEDIUM-COVERAGE
FOUNDATION

SMOOTHING
PRIMER

GLOW-BOOSTING
PRIMER

Pat McGrath Labs
Mothership X:
Moonlit
Seduction, £115
‘VR Sextasy’ is the
perfect shade for an
easy eye look that
demands attention.

Benefit Cosmetics
Gimme Brow+
Volumizing Pencil,
£23.50
Benefit’s perfect brow
pencil volumises, fills
and defines arches in
just a few swipes.

Glow Hub Under
Cover Concealer, £14
This conceals and
heals your blemishes
thanks to spotzapping ingredients
salicylic acid and
white willow bark.

Sculpted By Aimee
Satin Silk Longwear
Foundation, £27
This hydrating
foundation revives
tired complexions with
just a few pumps.

Tatcha The Liquid
Silk Canvas, £48
Oily skin sufferers,
unite. Slather on this
slightly runny cult
primer for a matte look
that doesn’t block
your natural glow.

Maybelline Perfector
4-in-1 Glow, £13.99
We love a multitasker
– this gave a light
tint of coverage,
added a glowy
sheen and primed
skin for foundation.

PENCIL EYELINER

BRONZER

SETTING SPRAY

SHEER-COVERAGE
FOUNDATION

CREAM
EYESHADOW

BLUSHER

Hourglass Voyeur
Waterproof Gel
Eyeliner, £27
These creamy liners
are unrivalled – so
you can smudge your
heart out! But once it’s
set, it’s not moving.

Nars Laguna Bronzing
Cream, £32.50
This formula offers
a just-got-backfrom-Greece glow –
even if the closest
we got was watching
A Place In The Sun.

Laura Mercier
Translucent Setting
Spray, £33
This mist gives your
make-up a 16-hour
wear time (trust us,
it lasted through a
sweaty barre class).

Iconic London Super
Smoother Blurring
Skin Tint, £27
Light, hydrating tints
that leave a soft, matte
finish are rare finds –
this one has answered
all our beauty prayers.

Gen See Mixed
Media Liquid
Eyeshadow, £19
We’d go as far as
calling these creamy,
vegan eyeshadows
lifeproof – once set
they Do. Not. Budge.

Chanel Les Beiges
Water-Fresh
Blush, £42
Micro-droplets of
pigment sounds like
something from GCSE
science, but this blush
leaves a pretty flush.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

99

READ

B e a u t y Awa rd s

HYDRATING
HAIR MASK

Hair
Whether your locks are curly,
coily, wavy or straight – protect
and nourish your tresses with
these gloss-giving essentials

Beauty Pie Super
Healthy Hair Luscious
Moisture Treatment
Masque, £40 for
non-members
Prepare to fall in love
– this mask is super
nourishing for dry hair.

HYDRATING HAIR
WASH DUO

STRENGTHENING
HAIR MASK

CURL BALM

COLOUR REFRESH
TREATMENT

It’s A 10 Silk Express
Miracle Silk
Shampoo, £23, and
Conditioner, £22
Sceptical of ‘miracle’
products? So are we –
but these really did
serve up the gloss.

Hair By Sam
McKnight Deeper
Love Intense
Treatment Mask, £48
This keratin mask gives
weakened strands a
bit of backbone in the
kindest, healthiest way.

Umberto Giannini
Curl Jelly
Shine Leave-In
Conditioning Curl
Balm, £10.25
Run through wet hair
and leave to air-dry
for soft, defined curls.

Fudge Professional
Clean Blonde PreToning Primer, £16
Colour looking dull?
No time for a salon
trip? This removes
build-up and perks up
hair tones in minutes.

CLARIFYING
SHAMPOO

REPAIRING HAIR
WASH DUO

CURL PRIMER

TEXTURE SPRAY

Olaplex No. 4C
Bond Maintenance
Clarifying
Shampoo, £28
This genius formula
from Olapex restores
shine while giving
a deep clean.

Bleach London
Reincarnation
Shampoo and
Conditioner, £24
Say buh-bye to
snapped lengths and
split ends with this
protein-packed duo.

Twist by Ouidad
Primed & Co, £12.99
Part primer, part
conditioner, fully
incredible for both
curls and coils. This
cream creates soft,
juicy spirals with ease.

Kms HairPlay
Playable
Texture, £19.55
If you battle flat, limp
locks every day, this
volumising mist is
all you need to give
strands some oomph.

OVERNIGHT
TREATMENT

DRY SHAMPOO

CURL GEL

BOND-BUILDING
TREATMENT
w

Aussie G’Night
Moisture Sleep In
Serum, £19.99
Run this serum through
your locks before bed
and it’ll get to work
repairing any tired,
frazzled lengths.

100

C o s m o p o l i ta n

BeautyBio
Healthy Scalp Dry
Shampoo, £39
This cleans your hair
without leaving any
build-up. Such a good
root reset, you’ll forget
wash day existed.

Bouclème Seal +
Shield Curl Defining
Gel, £26
Rain and humidity
have met their match.
This gel defines curls
without crunchiness
and combats frizz.

Redken Acidic
Bonding
Concentrate, £21.50
Pre-wash treatments
do take time, but when
they make hair twice
as smooth like this one
does, it’s 100% worth it.

01. STRENGTHENING

HAIR WASH DUO
Rahua Enchanted
Island Shampoo, £34,
and Conditioner, £36
One of the smartest
hair wash duos we’ve
ever seen, brimming
with plant-based
biotin and vitamins
B6, A, C and E – all
of which strengthen
hair follicles.

02.

HAIR OIL

L’Oréal
Professionnel
Paris Metal
Detox Oil, £26
This genius oil contains
glicoamine, a clever
molecule that prevents
excess copper from
building up inside
hair fibre, leaving
your strands looking
stronger and healthier.

03. LEAVE-IN
CONDITIONER

TREATMENT

Pattern Leave-In
Conditioner, £25
A light but thirstquenching addition
to your wash-day
line-up, especially
for type 3 curlies.
Oh, and can we
take a moment of
appreciation for the
stunning design?

This Hair of Mine
Scalp Serum, £46
Applying this serum
to your hair before
you wash it is surely
the best way to kick
off your routine. The
ingredients not only
help to prevent hair
loss, but they soothe
irritation as well.

04. SCALP

03

04

01

02

C o s m o p o l i ta n

101

Fragrance
Shout out to the stunning scents that
exceeded our expectations this year
03

01

04

02

05

1 02

01. MUSKY

02. FLORAL

03. WOODY

04. FRUITY

05. SWEET

Boy Smells Hinoki
Fantôme Cologne
de Parfum,
£105 for 65ml
An amazing fragrance
inspired by the
brand’s famous Hinoki
Fantôme candle. With
tobacco leaves and
other smoky notes,
this is the ultimate
date-night scent.

Dior J’Adore
Parfum D’Eau
£63 for 30ml
A first from Dior,
this innovative
alcohol-free perfume
is made of just water
and floral oils, with
notes of fresh neroli,
crisp jasmine sambac
and dashes of
Chinese magnolia.

Molton Brown
Rose Dunes
Eau de Parfum,
£120 for 100ml
One spritz will
transport you to a
cosy evening at a
countryside hotel.
Sandalwood blends
with heady patchouli
for a comforting,
long-lasting warmth.

Miller Harris
Myrica Muse
Eau de Parfum,
£95 for 50ml
Pops of strawberry
and bayberry give
this scent an instant
freshness, while
creamy rose and
touches of rum add
a rich twist that
grounds the perfume.

Prada Paradoxe
Eau de Parfum,
£83 for 50ml
Vanilla and amber
give this perfume an
expensive sweetness
that’s more creamy
than candy-like.
White musk deepens
the scent and allows
it to linger all day
(and all night).

C o s m o p o l i ta n

READ

Tools
and tech
Whether you’re a beauty amateur or
a total pro, these are the innovations
you need on your radar. Trust us
HAIR
STRAIGHTENERS

B e a u t y Awa rd s

SKIN
CLEANSING TOOL

HAIR TREATMENT
INNOVATION

Foreo Luna 4, £239
This cleansing tool
works wonders even
on sensitive skin and
is proven to remove
99% of dirt, oil and
make-up residue.

Olaplex Broad
Spectrum Chelating
Treatment, from £30
An in-salon treat to
reset hair and remove
build-up before colour
or chemical services.

HAIR DRYER
MAKE-UP
BRUSHES

Hot Tools
Professional Dual
Plate Salon
Straightener,
£129.99
This styler eliminates
the need for multiple
passes over the hair =
way less damage.

Beauty Works Aeris
Lightweight Digital
Hair Dryer, £180
At only 300g, this is by
far one of the lightest
blow dryers around.
The motor also dries
hair six times faster
than traditional ones.

HAIR WAVER

HAIR CURLER

BaByliss Wave
Secret Air, £150
Quite possibly the
easiest way to cheat
cool-girl waves that
we’ve ever tried. Quick,
efficient and works on
every hair texture, too.

Remington PROluxe
You Adaptive
Wand, £69.99
No more scorched
strands – built-in tech
reads the temperature
of your hair, adjusting
the heat as you style.

HOT BRUSH

HAIRBRUSH

Revlon One-Step
Volumiser Plus,
£69.99
The viral TikTok hair
tool now features a
slimmer oval brush
that can get closer to
the roots for extra lift.

Imbue Curl Define &
Style Brush, £9.99
This multitasking
brush has not left
our hair toolkit.
From defining curls to
aiding blow-dries, it’s
a great styling aid.

Morphe Vegan
Pro Brush Series,
from £8 each
A professional-worthy
brush range that won’t
make a dent on your
wallet – the vegan
synthetic bristles are so
incredibly soft they make
blending a dream.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

1 03

READ

Pa r t y b o ot s

P a r t y
s h o e s
b o o t s
104

C o s m o p o l i ta n

READ

Pa r t y b o ot s

GLITTER
Alek wears: blazer,
Area at Koibird;
shorts, Area at
Mytheresa; earrings,
vintage Christian
Dior at Susan
Caplan; boots,
Alexandre Vauthier

Rhinestones, vinyl, crushed velvet – this season’s
party boots have some serious main character
energy going down and we’re here for it
P H O T O G R A P H Y: C A R L A G U L E R

FA S H I O N D I R E C T O R : S A S K I A Q U I R K E

C o s m o p o l i ta n

105

READ

Pa r t y b o ot s

VELVET
Altynay wears:
dress and boots,
both Stella
McCartney; bag,
Delvaux. Alek
wears: dress
and boots, both
Stella McCartney;
bag, Delvaux

106

C o s m o p o l i ta n

PLATFORMS
Alek wears: dress,
Aggi at Wolf &
Badger; socks,
Tabio; boots,
Stuart Weitzman

C o s m o p o l i ta n

1 07

R E A D Pa r t y b o ot s

JEWELLED
Alek wears: dress,
Poster Girl; bag,
Benedetta Bruzziches;
boots, Paris Texas.
Altynay wears: dress,
Poster Girl; bag,
Benedetta Bruzziches;
boots, Paris Texas

108

C o s m o p o l i ta n

READ

Pa r t y b o ot s

WESTERN
Altynay wears: denim
jacket and shorts,
both Maje; earrings,
Susan Caplan; boots,
Russell & Bromley

C o s m o p o l i ta n

109

R E A D Pa r t y b o ot s

THIGH-HIGH
Alek wears: dress,
Mach & Mach;
boots, Isabel Marant

110

C o s m o p o l i ta n

READ

Pa r t y b o ot s

WHITES
Alek wears: top
and jeans, both
Raquette; earrings,
Mayol; boots, Miu
Miu. Altynay wears:
top and skirt, both
Aje; boots, Russell
& Bromley

C o s m o p o l i ta n

111

READ

Pa r t y b o ot s

METALLICS
Altynay wears: shirt
and skirt, both Maje;
earrings, Sylvia
Toledano at Fenwick;
boots, By Far. Alek
wears: dress, Annie’s
Ibiza; boots, By Far

112

C o s m o p o l i ta n

MODELS: ALEK AND ALTYNAY AT WILHELMINA MODELS. HAIR: CHRISTOPHER GATT AT FRANK AGENCY USING ORIBE HAIRCARE. MAKE-UP: MARY-JANE GOTIDOC USING
YSL BEAUTY. MANICURIST: LOUI-MARIE EBANKS USING OPI. PHOTOGRAPHY ASSISTANT: DANIEL WALKER. FASHION ASSISTANTS: COURTNEY SMITH; CHARLOTTE HARNEY

READ

Pa r t y b o ot s

VINYL

Alek wears:
coats, both Joseph;
earrings, Astrid &
Miyu; bag, Coperni
at Koibird; boots,
Emporio Armani

C o s m o p o l i ta n

113

Surviving Christmas
when you’re not out
Page 117

The performance art
of breaking up
Page 118

The secret to really
great orgasms
Page 122

The state of romance
right now
Page 124

l ove
The sexiest sex
scenes for your
winter viewing
W O R D S : TAY L O R A N D R E W S

1. Sex/Life
Fast-forward to: Season one,
episode one, 32 minutes and
41 seconds in.
A New York rooftop, a pool
and four minutes of unbridled
horniness when Billie and Brad
finally get it on. Mother, may I?
Watch on: Netflix

C o s m o p o l i ta n

115

LOV E

S ex s c e n e s

4. Dark Desire
Fast-forward to: Season one,
episode one, 21 minutes in.
A fantasy your libido has been
craving: sex that starts on the
kitchen counter and gets juuuust
the right amount of kinky. I’ll never
look at a belt the same way again.
Watch on: Netflix

2

5. Elite
Fast-forward to: Season three,
episode five, 24 minutes in.
7

Underwater sex is totally a thing
– and even hotter in the form of
a male-male-female threesome.
Watch on: Netflix

6. Bridgerton

3

Fast-forward to: Season one,
episode five, 52 minutes in.
This 1800s-era scene lasts, no joke,
almost five whole minutes. What
you’ll see: dirty talk, partnered
masturbation, P-in-V sex and abs.
Lots and lots of abs.
Watch on: Netflix

8

2. Normal People
Fast-forward to: Season one,
episode 12, three minutes and
40 seconds in.
Floor sex + pinned arms in
missionary + a ride on top = your
horny dose of TV for the day.
And considering the trajectory of
these two characters’ love story
(IYKYK), the passion is unreal.
Watch on: BBC iPlayer

5

3. The Bold Type
Fast-forward to: Season four,
episode 16, 38 minutes and
40 seconds in.
There’s something about a steamy
kiss, in front of wide-open windows,
while stripped down to bras and
undies, that just… well, I’ll let the
picture do the talking on this one.
Watch on: Prime Video

6

116

C o s m o p o l i ta n

7. Chemical Hearts
Fast-forward to: 52 minutes
and 15 seconds in.
Sure, it’s tender, it’s passionate,
it’s slow… and also kind of
fumbly. But it just works, okay?
Watch on: Prime Video

8. Insecure
Fast-forward to: Season four,
episode seven, 11 minutes and
50 seconds in.
This one’s dedicated to all you
exhibitionist kinksters because,
hello, did someone say holiday
balcony sex?
Watch on: Available to buy

PHOTOGRAPHY: STOCKSY; NETFLIX; WARNER MEDIA

4

Hello, did
someone
say holiday
balcony
sex?

LOV E

Surviving Christmas

Kristen Stewart and
Mackenzie Davis’
characters feel the
family pressure in
Happiest Season

If you’re LGBTQIA+ and not out to your family,
misgendering or awkward assumptions about your
sexuality can make Christmas at home feel like an
ordeal. It’s hard, but there are tricks to manage the
situation, reduce the stress and prepare yourself
mentally: just keep reading, we’ve got you.
The cousin who is
low-key homophobic

WORDS: MEGAN WALLACE. PHOTOGRAPHY: MOVIESTILLSDB.COM

How to survive
Christmas if
you’re not out
to your family
Your festive guide to dodging
awkward questions and correcting
hurtful assumptions

Shuddering when you mention
Pride or only associating
rainbows with the NHS, your
cousin is a walking microaggression. Counter subtle
digs with direct action – call
them out when they come up.
‘Often, the best solution is to
gently but firmly correct the
person in the moment,’ says
queer relationship therapist
Chris Grant. Some friendly
education is also a good idea,
even if it’s just forwarding your
fave LGBTQIA+ TikToks.

The parent asking about
your boyfriend when
you’re bisexual
Normally, you tell your mum
everything, but you’re not
sure how she’ll react to your
blossoming sapphic romance.
Don’t feel bad about glossing
over any questions. ‘A lot of
us will feel guilty about not
sharing aspects of our lives,’
says Grant. ‘But you don’t owe
access to this information
unless you feel safe to share.’

The uncle who
misgenders you
Your uncle keeps using ‘she’
pronouns for you, but your
friends have been calling you
‘they/them’ for a year. These
exchanges are uncomfortable

and can feel invalidating:
make sure you take time to
properly decompress after
being with the family. ‘Ensure
you have built in self-care
before, during and after your
visit,’ says Grant. This can be
as simple as connecting with
your queer community online.

The intrusive questions
over pigs in blankets
Having prepared phrases –
whether a light-hearted
deflection or a go-to response
– in your back pocket can be
a great help during awkward
dinner moments. Think of
ways to deflect any unwanted
queries about your sexuality
or gender before you come
home for Christmas. ‘What
we’re talking about here
is how to establish and
maintain a boundary,’ says
Grant. ‘Anyone can ask you
a direct question, but that
doesn’t mean you owe
them an answer.’

The moment you
decide to open up
If you think you’re ready, start
by identifying a sympathetic
relative and tell them one-onone in a safe space. Remember,
you’re doing them a favour.
‘Think about it in terms of
inviting your family further into
your life rather than coming
out as a confessional to them,’
says Grant.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

117

118

C o s m o p o l i ta n

The performance art of

bre
a

kin
g
p
u

LOV E

W

he

n

B re a k i n g u p o n l i n e

M
ia

M

er
ca

do
br
ok

eu

WO R D S : M I A M E RC A D O

CO LL AG E S : L AU R A W E I LE R

pw
ith h
er p
artne
r, s h e fo u n d unexpected comfort in the online splits of celebrities
C o s m o p o l i ta n

119

LOV E

B re a k i n g u p o n l i n e

Anyway, when the relationship was over, he moved out and
I began to post more about myself. I shared about my job, my
sister and, every so often, I’d nod to my newly single status:
Tinder is so bad! Did I mention I’m on Tinder? I uploaded pics
of my globe-trotting adventures so people would know I was
‘getting out there’. Navigating my raw singleness on social
media certainly didn’t feel natural, but I was resigned to a
certain set of facts: our lives were moving online, so our
breakups had to, as well.
That only became more true in the intervening years,
during which time I became something of a cultural
anthropologist of social media breakup performance, with
a particular emphasis on celebrities, aka the originators of
turning personal news into capital-C Content. And bless them:
who among us doesn’t want to know all the specifics of that
level of split? Who is above pondering which famous person’s
PR team gets the first pass at the announcement or which of
them will keep running the dog’s Instagram account? I find
myself analysing each and every detail of these uncouplings,
and not to make light of what they’re going through, but... we’re
living in an incredibly ripe moment for field research.

T

he recent past has added some truly peak
entries into the Record of Processing Breakups
Publicly, particularly in the music category,
where heartache has been artfully sublimated
into emotional catharsis slash some genuinely
stirring shit. I am still wondering how Jake
Gyllenhaal is holding up since Taylor Swift’s 10-minute,
scorched-earth re-release of All Too Well and weeping
every time Adele’s Easy On Me comes on the radio. As for
Drivers License and all the other addictive, deliciously
petty hit singles on Sour, let me be perfectly clear: Olivia
Rodrigo, I will *never* get over it.
But if breakup music is the soundtrack to my studies, the
moving-on behaviour of the blue-tick crowd is a dissertation
topic unto itself. There are posts winkingly designed to fan the
flames of speculation (see: Taylor Swift’s grid cull of Calvin
Harris) and the PR playbook moves meant to cut off oxygen
completely (which never actually work). A bloodless ‘wish
them all the best’ statement, a dress worn during a postbreakup interview, a bio tweak: it all invites dissection. Saying
nothing constitutes something. Oh my god, he’s not even
acknowledging the divorce? Wow.
The truth for us normals is: when you’re emotionally
devastated and Very Online, even if you don’t know what to
say, you do have some off-the-shelf options. There are memes
to recirculate; various categories of ‘revenge’ content ranging
from compellingly vindictive to saccharine narratives of
personal growth. There are illustrated affirmations and widely
circulated poems: sterile alternatives to the reality that you
haven’t showered since Tuesday and today is Monday.
But a well-utilised meme can only take anyone so far. And
communicating the contours of your breakup grief requires

120

C o s m o p o l i ta n

LOV E

getting into the specifics of your particular experience.
That’s why we have a common language for the good
parts of relationships – ‘soft launching’ a significant other;
announcing an engagement or a baby (‘sooo, we did a
thing!’) – but not one for our more complex feelings about
relationships that end.
And now for the Alex Rodriguez part of the story.
Honestly, I’ve never been more invested in him than after
his split from Jennifer Lopez-now-Affleck, during which he
alternated between posting thirst traps and mournful tributes
to their love. To quote famous philosopher Marie Kondo, ‘I
love mess,’ and I should therefore probably be under police
surveillance for the number of times I’ve watched the IG Story
in which Rodriguez pans over a graveyard of J-Rod photos
(and what appears to be one lone snap of Judy Garland

‘Expressing vulnerability
is a gamble for empathy’

B re a k i n g u p o n l i n e

and Barbra Streisand, for unclear reasons) while Coldplay’s
Fix You whines on. You could chalk up my obsession to a
certain kind of pleasure at seeing a beefy sportsman be so
endearingly mushy; you could also make a case that his post
was highly calculated. But it’s the unique display of heartache
– which, for 10 seconds, dispenses with the ‘act’ of grieving
and encapsulates how it actually is – that gets me. No matter
who you are, expressing vulnerability is a gamble for empathy.
Feeling seen, as they say, is kind of the reward.

N

ot that you have to be super obvious about it.
I’ve found artist Anna Marie Tendler’s TikToks
to be a subtextual masterclass in the art of
moving forwards even when maybe what
you actually want to do is lie on the floor. After
being blindsided by comedian John Mulaney’s
petition to divorce, Tendler posted her first-ever video last year,
in which she delicately walked viewers through the notoriously
annoying process of putting on a duvet cover; in a follow-up
life hack the next day, she used a vegetable peeler to perfectly
butter a slice of cinnamon raisin toast. What strikes me about
this content is the subtle resilience in her competent handling
of domestic endeavours. Making the bed by yourself, eating
breakfast alone: these are the routine but sharply painful
things we do by ourselves when the person that we used
to do them with is gone.
The first picture I posted after that breakup seven years
ago was, for some reason, a meticulously arranged vignette of
trinkets: anchor-shaped bookends, one miniature box of fake
doughnuts, a pair of ceramic lemons and three big wooden
letters that spelled ‘YES’. As in, yes, my boyfriend of four years
and I recently split. And yes, this obscure still life is how I’ve
elected to process my feelings about it in a digital format.
The image itself wasn’t immediately recognisable as
a breakup post – although if you read the caption, you’d start
to get the idea that I was feeling a little unhinged: ‘In this edition
of Mia Buys Things Impulsively, I try to justify to a salesperson
at Hobbycraft why I need a miniature box of doughnuts.
Spoiler alert: I don’t! #yes #lemons #bookends #doughnuts
#thisisacryforhelp.’ The inclusion of the final hashtag – yes,
we still hashtagged on Instagram then – was equal parts
self-deprecating joke and legitimate SOS. I wanted anyone
following along to know that I was going through something.
But I didn’t want to get into it.
Actually, that’s a lie. I wanted to. What I posted was,
whether I realised it or not, a dog whistle for exactly what
I needed: validation from the friends who’d be able to read
between the lines and see the messy thing I was going through.
Even if I wasn’t sure how to share it yet.

MIA MERCADO is the author of Weird But Normal and the essay collection
She’s Nice Though. Her writing has been published in The New Yorker,
The New York Times and The Cut. For more breakup musings, head to
cosmopolitan.com/uk/how-to-deal-with-a-break-up

C o s m o p o l i ta n

121

The
coital
alignment

technique
is the secret
to SUPERintense orgasms
And that ultra-connected,
best-ever sex you’re craving
W O R D S : R A C H E L VA R I N A

122

C o s m o p o l i ta n

LOV E

G re a t i n b e d

All the tricks and tweaks you need
It’s the classic TV sex scene: two very
attractive people envelop each other in a
passionate embrace before falling on to
the bed. Their eyes lock. And then they’re
having missionary sex so steamy, you forget
the position often leaves a lot to be desired.
Because in a classic real-life sex scenario,
missionary – despite being the go-to for
romantic, hungover or just plain fast sex –
is actually less than ideal for people with
vaginas. The lack of clitoral stimulation
means a lot of people never reach, or even
get close to reaching, orgasm.
Enter a subtle but effective modification
known as the coital alignment technique
(CAT). If that sounds familiar, it’s probably
because you heard about it back when we
were all watching Netflix’s steamy series
Sex/Life, in which very horny character
Billie gushes about just-as-horny character
Brad’s use of this method. In her own words,
‘When done right, it provides the ultimate
connection, both physical and emotional.
I felt closer to him than I had to anyone.’
The whole point of CAT is – as its name
suggests – to align your genitals with your
partner’s for maximum stimulation. And
instead of fast or deep thrusting, it’s about
slower, more vertical strokes that focus
on clitoral access (or as a friend recently
explained it, ‘You know how it’s easier to
finish when you’re on top? CAT is like being
on top... from the bottom.’)
Read on to learn how exactly to practise
CAT and all the tips that will make it legit
life-changing for you.

Hold on tight
The person penetrating on top should
grip their partner’s shoulders to avoid
backsliding into standard missionary.
This makes that orgasm-inducing,
clit-rubbing vertical movement easier.
Go oh-so-slow
Slow and steady is the name of the
game. To start, one partner presses
their clitoris against the other’s pubic
bone then starts grinding – like dry
humping but without any pesky clothes
in the way. Between one partner’s
vertical rubbing and the other’s upward
strokes, the sensations will slowly build.
Add some slickness
As always, lube = the key to great sex.
Apply plenty to both partners’ genitals
to get that sweet, slippery sensation
you both love. If you want to turn things
up, grab some warming or tingling lube
for even more powerful sensations.
Use a pillow prop
Having trouble getting the right angle
or just want to perfect that feel-good
forwards rub? Prop the receiver’s hips

up with a pillow, wadded-up blanket
or stuffed animal (sorry, Mr Cuddles).
This makes clitoral stimulation easier
because the elevation puts your clit
front, centre and ready for action.
Get extra passionate
This move is all about connection
– it fosters full-body, full-genital
and just general all-over erogenous
contact, so embrace the fact that your
partner’s body could literally not be
closer to yours. Lingering eye contact
and deep kisses are encouraged.
Elevate the sexperience
There’s no reason you can’t make
things even hotter. Wear a blindfold to
block out distractions. Use a vibrating
cock ring for a buzzier grind. Get a
glass of ice or some body-safe hot wax
for a bit of surprising temperature play.
Keep at it
Practice makes perfect, and most
couples need at least a few tries
to really get the hang of CAT. Just
have fun and don’t stress if it takes
a little finessing to master.

‘When done right, it provides the ultimate
connection, both physical and emotional.
I felt closer to him than I had to anyone’
– Billie on Netflix’s Sex/Life

How it’s done

PHOTOGRAPHY: STOCKSY

1

.
The person being penetrated
lies flat on their back,
while the person doing the
penetrating positions their
pelvis atop the other’s and
slides into them.

2

.
The penetrating partner
puts the weight of their
torso on the other’s
chest (versus lifting
themselves up on
their forearms).

3

.
The bottom person wraps
their legs around their
partner’s outer thighs
at a 45-degree angle,
resting their ankles on
their partner’s calves.

4

.
The person being penetrated
rocks their hips upwards,
pressing their clitoris into
the base of their partner’s
penis or strap-on. The top
partner thrusts downwards.

SOURCE: CERTIFIED SEX THERAPIST RACHEL SMITH

C o s m o p o l i ta n

123

LOV E

Ke e p i n g s c o re

Love by
numbers
WORDS: VE RON ICA LOPEZ
A D D I T I O N A L R E P O R T I N G : J E N N I F E R S AV I N

Whether you’re single, locked down or
something in between, here’s your official
update on all things romance in the year
2022 (because, hey, we’re nosy like that…
and we bet you are, too). The biggest
takeaway: love is not dead! In fact, it’s out
here thriving. Feast your eyes on this nobullsh*t, straight-from-the-source(s) proof
1 24

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Sex

Dating

Marriage and divorce

12 30 6.4 62
—
43.9
—
% 24
36 4.2 —
46.4
43 38 87 —
32 years...
25
33.8 years
45
—
71
8
81 23.5 80
5.2 — 3,400,000
%
57
68,000
2.6
Marriage
rates dropped

%
of you ‘aren’t
sure’ about
monogamy, and...

%

of you are
having more
sex than before
the pandemic

%

PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES. STATS COMPILED FROM DATA SHARED BY INNER CIRCLE, A SURVEY OF OVER 1,500 COSMOPOLITAN READERS AND THE OFFICE FOR NATIONAL STATISTICS

of singles say they’re
more interested in long-term
relationships now than they
were before the pandemic

%

of Gen Z
singles suffer
from datingrelated social
anxiety. Case
in point:
mentions of
the word
‘awkward’ in
Tinder bios
are up by

%
since the end
of 2020

%
of you said money
is very important
in a match...

...while the number
of you who say the
bill should be split
50:50 no matter
what is…

%
(with a further
14% saying that
whoever earns
more should pick
up the bulk)

of you have
been in love with
more than one
person at once

%
now think it’s
more socially
acceptable to meet
a love interest at
a singles’ party,
according to the
Inner Circle app

%
of people on
dating apps admit
they’ve used them
more while WFH
than they did on
pre-pandemic
workdays

%
are
masturbating
more frequently

%
are using sex
toys more
often, too

%
between 2018 and
2019. Marriage
rates for oppositesex couples have
fallen to their
lowest on record
since 1862

in every 10
marriages end
in divorce

%
of divorces are
initiated by women

is the average age
of a woman going
through a divorce

is the average age
of a man going
through a divorce

and 3 months is the average age a
woman in an opposite-sex relationship
marries. For same-sex couples it’s…

Back in 1999, the average age was
29 years and 4 months for women
(and 31 years and 6 months for men)

%
of you say it’s
okay to have sex
on the first date

months is
the average
engagement
length

%
of marriages still
see at least one
person change
their name

%

of 25 to 34year-olds and

of 16 to 24-year-olds identify as lesbian,
gay, bisexual or ‘other’ (a rise of 5.5% over
the past five years). In comparison to…

%
of 35 to 49-year-olds

is the estimated number of unmarried
couples who are living together in the UK

%
agree there is no
set time frame to
wait to have sex

is the estimated number of same-sex
married couples who are living together

C o s m o p o l i ta n

125

advertisement feature

ST Y L E E DI T
Look your best

L.DROBE CLOTHING
L.DROBE is a unisex, aesthetic
leisurewear brand designed with
comfort in mind. The independent,
female-led brand curate's
collections that encapsulate
positivity and self-care at the core,
whilst having an aspirational feel.
The comfy sweats are designed
to be worn by anyone, anywhere.
The minimal designs are paired
with classic colourways to help you
build a timeless wardrobe and to
encourage investing in staple items.
The brand focuses on intertwining
sustainability throughout, using
all eco-conscious packaging and
producing a handful of garments
made from organic cotton and
recycled polyester.
www.ldrobeclothing.com
@l.drobe Photography: Robin Priest

advertisement feature

S TY L E EDIT
Look your best
SEASON 13 OF TIFFANY’S FASHION WEEK PARIS
INTERNATIONAL DESIGNERS AT THE 5 STAR HOTEL
LE MEURICE IN PARIS, FRANCE.
Tiffany McCall Couture by
fashion designer Tiffany McCall.
www.tiffanysidb.com

Kaori Amaria is wearing Tarik
Ediz gold couture dress at
season 13 of Tiffany’s Fashion
Week Paris. She lives in Dubai,
UAE and is a famous Millionaire
Coach and Psychic Leader in
Japan. Her method is famous
for creating a rich mindset in
a few months and attracting
lots of wealth and happiness.
More than a thousand students
take her courses every year.
en.amariakaori.com

Sol AngelAnn by
Celebrity designer
Irena Soprano and VIP
top model Baroness
Marina Von Lison.
solangelann.com

Celebrity fashion designer Mr. Rex of
Kosovo & top model Baroness Marina
Von Lison. mrrexshop.com

Emanuela Borok
Collection of Paris, France
emanuelaborok.com
Allure Novembre by fashion designer
Mara Novembre of Haïti and The USA
allurenovembre.com

Celebrity Businesswoman
& Model Kaori Amaria
is wearing fashion
designers Coast &
Yasmine Hawa .
Photo Credits: Celebrity Photographer Marcelo NLELE of Presscrea, Jimmy Baste, Tomasz Koperski & Alain Lanoe. Backstage Manager Alvina Karamoko, Hair & Makeup Maap Paris
Janine Zenk & Celebrity Makeup Artist Debora Denecke & Team. Sassy Parisian Shoes By Oria 7, luxurious watches by Antonio Boggati, and jewellery by Helena Joy Paris, France

advertisement feature

BE AU T Y EDIT
Look good, feel great
LOOK YOUNGER LONGER
REGENTIV SPECIALIST
SERUM (WITH RETINOL)
This delicate and oh so effective
serum for lines, wrinkles, crepey
eyes and neck, vertical lip lines, sun
damage and much more.
Unique formulation of retinol
palmitate, aloe vera, vitamin E, SPF,
moisturiser – perfect to use twice
daily. 35ml £32.95, 50ml £49.95,
105ml £79.95, 200ml £149.
To receive exclusive 15% reader
discount apply code COSMO15
when ordering. www.regentiv.com
or call 01923 212555 for advice
or to order. Please see website for
full range and special offers.

V.R.O. – IT’S NOT A TYPICAL BEAUTY STUDIO, AND SHE IS NOT YOUR TYPICAL BEAUTY THERAPIST.
In a desirable city where dreams do come true after
lockdown V.R.O. decided to open their doors to the
public. After lockdown, we all realised how important
it is to not only look good – obviously! But mainly give
yourself the TLC and the importance of relaxing for
your mental health is underrated! So V.R.O. created a
tranquil space where it feels and looks like a salon but
without having to share your private conversations with
those sitting next to you, where you can express yourself
vocally without judgement, but feeling empowered and
supported by the wisdom of V.R.O. and her team or our
favourite is to just stare at the mesmerising view of royal
wharf riverside to wander off in your own imagination.
V.R.O. has been in the cosmetology industry for nearly
20 years and always felt supported and motivated by
other talented passionate souls! The gratitude didn’t
stop there, as a woman that understands the struggles
in the industry and in life but now has the opportunities
at her fingertips V.R.O. also collaborates with other
female-owned businesses such as: @karenrbeauty,
@krisskosmetics, @glampitbyjen, @skin21aesthetics,
@naillab.e17 and brands such as Espérer Skin
Care, Alex Cosmetics, Domowy Kosmetyk and more.

@__v.r.o__

advertisement feature

F E S TI VE T REATS
Seasonal gifts for you and your loved ones
GIVE THE GIFT OF THEATRE
THIS CHRISTMAS
Theatre Tokens are Gift Cards
and eGifts with no expiry date that
can be used at more than 270
theatres nationwide, including all of
London’s West End. Treat someone
to a show at their local theatre, or
a trip to London’s theatreland.
Know a mega fan? Just a £5 Token
is enough for a seat upgrade on
their next visit. In a world where
we’re all trying to collect less stuff,
gifting an experience is the perfect
present. The memories made when
seeing a show will last a lifetime,
much longer than a pair of socks or
some bubble bath. Run by Society
of London Theatre, a not-for-profit
organisation, Theatre Tokens are a
gift that gives back. And remember
this pressie idea when that surprise
guest turns-up on Christmas Day
and send an eGift in seconds from
TheatreTokens.com

LOOKING FOR DELICIOUS FAIRTRADE CHOCOLATES?

POTTER & MOOCH

Cocoa Loco has been founded on the belief that great chocolate
shouldn't cost the earth and should be made from scratch
with care and passion. Handmade in small batches by skilled
chocolatier artisans, using single origin fairtrade organic cocoa
beans. Scrumptious, ethical chocolate treats are available from
www.cocoaloco.co.uk and follow us on IG @cocoalocochoc

Explore our new Earth Collection of Ear Wings Climber Earrings.
Designed for a single piercing and handmade on recycled Silver
or 14ct Yellow or Rose Gold wires. Hypoallergenic and nickel
free. The perfect gift or simply to enjoy yourself! Starting from £24
a pair. Visit us online or call for a brochure.
www.potterandmooch.co.uk or call (+44) 01903 331744

The last page

In my
nightstand
DJ of the moment
Eliza Rose on the books
and beauty must-haves
she keeps by her bed
WORDS: DUSTY BA XTER-WRIGHT

What’s on top?
Garnier face
mask, loads of
The Ordinary
bits and Simple
face cream.
Got any
snacks?
Yes! Definitely.
Peak relaxation
is eating in bed.
Products I
always have...
Hyaluronic
acid from The
Ordinary is my
go-to. It keeps
me looking
fresh after
a late night.
The drawers:
organised or
a beautiful
mess?
Beautiful mess,
despite my
best efforts.

130

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Most
surprising
item?
Haribo!
Books by
the bed?
At the moment
I’m rotating
two: The Lonely
Londoners by
Sam Selvon,
and The Silence
Of The Girls by
Pat Barker.
The number of
alarms I need...
Two. I like to
snooze for
10 to 20 minutes.
My prize sleep
possession...
I love an eye
mask and
sometimes
earplugs. I’m
a light sleeper.
ELIZA ROSE’S SINGLE
B.O.T.A. (BADDEST
OF THEM ALL)
IS OUT NOW

PHOTOGRAPHY: PHOEBE COWLEY

My overall
nightstand
vibe
Organised
mess!