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50 things to
look forward to
this spring

Easter
holidays
on a budget

Escape the crowds with
these exciting getaways

weekend
P41

Number 3,843

P71

SATURDAY & SUNDAY
18 - 19 MARCH 2023

JOU R NA L I S M YOU C A N T RU S T + B R I TA I N ’ S FA S T E S T G ROW I N G R E A D E R S H I P

Putin arrest
warrant
issued over
war crime
allegations

Budget boost
for Sunak – but
Tories still
face defeat

P16

Queen’s
final
heroes
revealed

46%

P4

29%

Dan Walker

My kids know which
parent is more important!

» PM halves the gap with Starmer on their personal poll ratings
» Sunak on –11 (up from –20 last month) with Labour leader on zero
» Tories still 17 points behind Labour, which would mean landslide
» Every key measure in this week’s Budget is popular with voters,

i polling suggests, but the British public doesn’t like the overall
package and thinks that it will benefit the rich more than the poor
» The Government’s most popular new policies are fuel duty freeze,
energy bill help and ending prepay meter penalty for 4 million homes
» 53% believe Budget won’t help them while 15% say that it will

Susie Dent

Swearing is necessary
– and the British are
brilliant at it

PARTY RATINGS
SOURCE: BMG RESEARCH

P8

How to avoid a US-Russia war
by Patrick Cockburn

P30

Moral panic on laughing gas
is overblown by Ian Dunt
P20

Polar opposites 70% of penguin
marriages end in ‘divorce’
P37

weekend
Why children’s teeth
are as bad as they
were in the 1940s
King’s singer Williams
joins chorus calling for
U-turn on BBC Singers
NEWS, P23

Perennial
reminders
GARDENING, P68

OPINION, P29

What I learned
from having a
baby in my fifties
LIFE, P46

Reality TV’s
return to the
experimental
CULTURE, P53

The bargain
Easter breaks
no one else is
thinking of
TRAVEL, P71

How to save for
your child’s future
MONEY, P80

Plaudits abound as
‘Special K’ returns
to the Etihad
SPORT, P98

index
Opinion .................................... p25
7 Days ......................................... p39
Life ................................................. p41
Puzzles .................................... p47
Culture ..................................... p53

NEWS

How long was
the surf up for
this record
breaker?
See p.35

The day
at a glance

FOCUS, P19

I was shocked
to be mistaken
for my sister’s
mother!

The
News
Matrix
Matr
x

2

TV & Radio guide .......... p54
Gardening ............................. p68
Money & Business ..... p79
Weather .................................. p89
Sport ........................................... p90

The recycled
paper
content of UK
newspapers
in 2018 was
68.2%

POLICE

EDUCATION

LEGAL

Officers ‘quitting to
work as scaffolders’

College to examine
slavery legacy

Marriage may be off
limits for prisoners

A chief constable is pushing for
a pay rise for officers to halt the
“silent erosion of talent” in his force,
as he described how some had
already left for better paid work as
scaffolders or to sell double-glazing.
Essex Police chief Ben-Julian
Harrington said people had left the
force for financial reasons. Among
them was an officer who resigned to
earn £250 a day as a scaffolder.

A Cambridge University college is
to appoint an academic to a fouryear post to examine its legacies
of slavery. Trinity College said its
new Legacies of Slavery Research
and Teaching Fellow will consider
the ways in which the college might
have gained from slavery. This
could be through fees and bequests
from students and alumni, or from
investments by the college.

Prisoners serving whole life
sentences would be prevented from
marrying under new Government
plans. It comes amid anger over a
bid by Levi Bellfield to challenge
a decision blocking the serial
killer from marrying in prison.
Justice Secretary Dominic Raab
has pledged to “change the law” to
prevent those serving whole life
sentences from getting married.

LEISURE

MARKETS

Turkish baths’ ban
on birthday suits

Early FTSE 100
flurry fails to last

Nude bathing has been banned
at Harrogate’s historic Turkish
baths after police received a
report of inappropriate behaviour.
Harrogate Borough Council, which
runs the baths, had previously
held single-sex swimming sessions
where costumes were optional.
North Yorkshire Police confirmed
it was investigating an incident this
month and enquiries are ongoing.

A flurry of optimism in London
markets yesterday morning after a
$30bn (£25bn) cash injection into a
struggling US bank, First Republic
Bank, dissipated in the afternoon
as global markets felt the fallout
from failures in parts of the banking
industry. The FTSE 100 had initially
gained 100 points but when markets
closed, it had shed nearly 75 points,
or 1 per cent, to 7,335. PAGE 83

EDUCATION

PORTUGAL

University strikes to Easyjet cabin crew
go ahead next week to hold April strike
Strikes by university lecturers and
other higher education workers
will go ahead despite hopes of a
breakthrough in a dispute over pay,
contracts and pensions. Members
of the University and College
Union’s higher education committee
yesterday voted to continue action
and also not to put employer
proposals to a vote. This means that
strikes on Monday, Tuesday and
Wednesday will go ahead.

EasyJet cabin staff in Portugal
will go on a three-day strike in
April to demand higher wages to
compensate for the soaring cost
of living, the SNPVAC union of
civil aviation flight personnel said
yesterday. Workers are planning to
walk out between 1-3 April. “Due
to the economic climate, easyJet
workers have lost purchasing power
over the last three years,” SNPVAC
said in a statement.

GERMANY

SCIENCE

Parliament reforms
face court challenge

Peanuts for babies
could cut allergies

Politicians in Germany have
approved electoral reforms to
reduce the size of the country’s
bloated parliament – but two
opposition parties are not in favour
and the plan is expected to face a
court challenge. The lower house,
or Bundestag, has a record 736
members. The changes approved on
a 400-261 vote with 23 abstentions
would reduce that number to 630.

Peanut allergy incidences could
fall by 77 per cent if products
containing the nut were part of
babies’ diets at four to six months of
age. Researchers in the UK said they
had identified a “clear window of
opportunity” where introducing an
allergen into a baby’s diet at this age
significantly reduced the risk. The
study was published in The Journal
Of Allergy And Clinical Immunology.

iQuiz
BY JOHN CLARKE
1. Handforth, where Jackie
Weaver famously presided over a
tumultuous Zoom parish council
meeting in 2020, is in which
English county?
2. Who was the last Catholic
monarch of England?
3. How is the Welsh food
speciality ‘picau ar y maen’
better known?
4. Which ITV police drama
is sometimes dubbed
“Broadchurch North”?
5. What is the name of the
sandbank off the Kent coast at
Deal which has been the cause of
more than 2,000 shipwrecks?
6. What is the capital and largest
city of the Central American state
El Salvador?
7. The new Oleato coffee range
launched by Starbucks includes
what controversial ingredient?
8. The first human-to-human
heart transplant took place in
1967 in which country?
9. Which musical term, often
abbreviated to DC, means “from
the beginning”?
10. What international delivery
company was founded in San
Francisco by Adrian Dalsey, Larry
Hillblom and Robert Lynn?
Answers on page 28

© Published by Harmsworth Media, 9 Derry Street, London, W8 5HY. Registered in England and Wales No. 00084121.
Printed by Harmsworth Printing (Thurrock) Essex; Associated Print (Dinnington); Newsprinters (Broxbourne) Ltd;
Newsprinters (Knowsley) Ltd; KP Services (Jersey) Ltd; Reach Printing Services Ltd, Cardonald Park, Glasgow;
Associated Print (Carn), Ireland. Back issues available from Historic Newspapers, 0844 770 7684.
Saturday 18 March 2023. Registered as a newspaper with the Post Office.

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

MUSIC

UK Eurovision song
enters charts at No 30

ThePage3Profile

ALISON HAMMOND, LAUGHING ALL
THE WAY TO THE ‘BAKE OFF’ TENT

Mae Muller has kicked off her
Eurovision campaign on a high note
as her entry for the song contest
entered the singles chart after it was
announced she would represent the
UK. “I Wrote A Song” has landed at No
30, making it the first UK Eurovision
entry to debut in the top 40 in its first
week since Blue’s “I Can” in 2011, the
Official Charts Company said.
MONARCHY

Wales’s children may
join King’s procession
All three of the Prince and Princess
of Wales’s children are expected to
take part in the King’s coronation
procession, it has been reported. Prince
George, Princess Charlotte and Prince
Louis will join their grandfather and
Camilla, the Queen Consort, as they
leave Westminster Abbey after the
ceremony and go back to Buckingham
Palace on 6 May, The Times reported.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
A dream crumb true?
Alison Hammond and her trademark
laugh promise to be a recipe for
success as she sashays into The Great
British Bake Off tent to join Noel
Fielding as its new co-host, replacing
Matt Lucas.
Announcing the news, the This
Morning presenter posted a video
on Instagram featuring mini models
of herself, Fielding and judges Paul
Hollywood and Dame Prue Leith,
made entirely out of icing.
She said that she was “absolutely
thrilled” to be part of the team,
adding: “It’s official!! It’s happening.
The Great British Bake Off! Let’s have
it – the cake that is. So excited.”
Fielding responded with a sweet
welcome on Instagram. He wrote:
“I’m absolutely pumped we are
working together. We are gonna
spend the whole time giggling like
naughty school kids. The bakers are
gonna love you to bits.”

Dame Prue added: “Huge
congratulations Alison, you will
be magnificent and I can’t wait for
your infectious laugh to be ringing
through the tent.” Hollywood reacted
with an applause emoji and “see you
on the tent”.
Will the proof be in the pudding?
This is not the first time Hammond
has rolled up her sleeves in the tent
– she previously took part in the
celebrity version for Stand Up To
Cancer in 2020, where Hollywood
took the biscuit and compared her
cake-decorating skills to those of a
five-year-old.
The show’s executive producer,
Kieran Smith, announcing her
appointment, described Hammond
as “a natural on Bake Off, maybe not
as a baker”, while Channel 4’s chief
content officer, Ian Katz, said: “Alison
is much loved, effortlessly funny
and the owner of the best laugh in

Britain. She was a huge hit when
she appeared on Celebrity Bake Off
and we’re thrilled to have her back
in the tent.”
A legend in the baking…
Hammond has made a number of
memorable appearances on reality
TV: she made her name as contestant
on Big Brother in 2002, was hired as
a roving reporter for ITV, where she
pushed a topless man into a river,
appeared on I’m a Celebrity... and
Strictly Come Dancing, and joined
Hollywood A-listers in co-hosting
the Bafta awards with Richard E
Grant in February.
The new series of The Great British
Bake Off has yet to be announced,
but the first episode of The Great
Celebrity Bake Off, featuring Judi
Love, Tom Daley and Rose Matafeo,
will be broadcast at 7.45pm
tomorrow on Channel 4.
Ruth Comerford

“If a thing isn’t worth
saying, you sing it”
Pierre Beaumarchais
ANNIVERSARIES
Thursday 18 March 1965
The groundbreaking Motortown
Revue arrives at the Finsbury
Park Astoria, north London, on
the first night of a package tour
that took Motown Records artists
around the UK to visit 21 theatres
for two shows a night, plus a
live TV special. Topping the bill
were Smokey Robinson and the
Miracles, The Supremes, Martha &
The Vandellas and the 14-year-old
“Little” Stevie Wonder, all backed
by the legendary Funk Brothers.
BIRTHDAYS
Bill Frisell, jazz guitarist, 72
Queen Latifah, rapper-actress, 53
Lily Collins, actress, 34
Peter Jones, entrepreneur, 57
Alex Jones, presenter, 46

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

3

Letter from
the Editor

Oliver Duff
i@inews.co.uk

Public’s verdict on a
big week in politics
Today’s opinion polling for i
contains plenty of encouraging
news for Rishi Sunak (cover story,
page 8). More on that in a second.
However, two of the most
significant findings are stacked
against him. A majority of voters
feel that this week’s Budget will
not help them – with just 15 per
cent believing they will personally
benefit. That is not what any
government wants to hear, during
an acute cost of living crunch.
Crucially, Labour’s lead over the
Tories remains 17 points (46 per
cent vs 29 per cent), the sort of gap
that would deliver a landslide in
the next general election.
Now for Sunak’s good news. It
is rare that every key measure in a
Budget is popular with voters. Yet
our poll shows mass support for
the childcare plan, the fuel duty
freeze, energy help and tackling
prepayment meters. There’s strong
backing also for tougher benefits
sanctions, extra defence spending
and the corporation tax hike.
So what’s the problem? For
most voters, the Budget doesn’t
do enough to protect them against
economic headwinds. This is not
a problem unique to Chancellor
Jeremy Hunt. His Labour shadow,
Rachel Reeves, would also have
limited room for manoeuvre,
as the Treasury tries to tame
inflation, worker shortages, poor
productivity, public sector debt
and feeble economic growth.
Where does this week in politics
leave us, then? After the chaos of
Truss and Johnson, Sunak and
Hunt are succeeding in their early
mission to project competence and
calm. But when it comes to their
Everest – persuading Britain that
the Conservatives should govern
the country for another five years
– they are still in the foothills.
@olyduff

4

NEWS

PEOPLE

HONOURS

The late Queen’s final set of heroes
are revealed in Civil Gallantry List

Woman went
into burning
home to save
frail neighbour

By Cahal Milmo

Ed Durante did not think twice about
taking action when a car crashed
and burst into flames in front of him
as he was driving to work.
With the fire rapidly engulfing the
vehicle which had hit a bridge after
aquaplaning during a downpour on
the A38 near Exeter in June 2021, the
off-duty firefighter and paramedic
knew he had only moments to act to
help the five occupants.
Together with Craig Jones, an
another off-duty fire officer who
also happened to be passing, Mr Durante, 29, began dragging the driver
and passengers – all members of the
same family – to safety as flames
started to spread.
For the firefighter, it was a horrifying turn to what should have been a
joyful day.
He had been driving to his hometown of Ivybridge, near Plymouth,
after going shopping – unsuccessfully – for an engagement ring for his
then girlfriend.
Instead of finalising his plans for
a proposal, he found himself having to harness all his training as a
paramedic and a retained firefighter with the Devon and Somerset
Fire Service.
The firefighter and Mr Jones are
among 15 people honoured today in
the Civilian Gallantry List – the last
set of bravery awards to be decided
in the name of the late Queen.
Mr Durante (inset) told i: “As
I approached the car I could see
it was full, with a young girl in
the middle of the back seat
who was conscious. The
four adults had been
knocked unconscious.
“I knew I didn’t have
much time to spare
– car fires escalate really quickly. Those in the
front seats were in the
most immediate danger.”
After removing the driver,
Mr Durante returned to the blazing
car to retrieve the front passenger.
In the meantime, Mr Jones, a fire officer with the Cornwall Fire Service,
had brought the young girl to safety.
Mr Durante returned to the vehicle four times. Within 30 seconds, it
was engulfed in flames.

By Cahal Milmo

He was stabbed and bludgeoned
with two wine bottles and a fire
extinguisher by Radcliffe during
the attack in Pen Y Graig,
Rhondda, South Wales.
In a statement, his family said:
“John was the very definition of a
good man, extremely respected
and liked in the community. He
was proud of his family, proud to
be a Welshman and devoted to All
Saints Church. We will all miss
him terribly.”
Lisa Way and Ayette
Bounouri, who were in the shop
at the time, have also been
recognised for their roles in
helping to confront Radcliffe.

The 15 people honoured today in
the Civilian Gallantry List have been
receiving the last honours of Elizabeth II’s reign.
The nominees were rewarded for
feats of courage that both garnered
national headlines, among them the
response to the 2019 terrorist attack at Fishmonger’ Hall in central
London in which four men – Steven
Gallant, John Crilly (inset), Darryn
Frost and Lukasz Koczocik – fended
off and pursued Islamist extremist
Usman Khan after he had fatally
stabbed two people, and others
which passed while attracting little
or no public attention.
An award also went to Bardha
Kola who was returning from a
day trip to Bath with her husband when they noticed fire leaping from the roof of the
home of their 94-yearold neighbour Cynthia Shanks.
Mrs Kola, 44,
from Newtown,
Wiltshire, who had
been friends with
Mrs Shanks for a
long time, dashed
home to retrieve a
key to her neighbour’s
house and then let herself
into the smoke-filled property in
January 2020.
After finding Mrs Shanks in her
upstairs bedroom, asleep and oblivious to the fire, Mrs Kola acted with
remarkable calmness amid the
spreading flames.
She placed her friend on an electric stairlift and brought her to the
ground floor as parts of the ceiling and roof structure collapsed
around them.
A citation for Mrs Kola, who
has received the Queen’s Commendation for Bravery, said:
“She then carried her neighbour through the narrow hallway to her wheelchair and exited
the property.
“The nature of the fire was so serious that it took a further three hours
to bring it under control and fully
extinguish it.”

Joan Edwards, director of policy,
told i: “The fact we’ve seen more
mammals test positive in the last
few days is very worrying. But
when we’ve got the number
of dead birds around the
coast that we’ve had in
the past 12 months, it’s
not surprising.”
The Wildlife Trusts
covers the whole of the
UK and Ms Edwards
(inset) said members are
being urged to ring in about
sightings of dead animals. Rescue
teams, many of them run by volun-

teers, are now having to attend reports of dead animals in full PPE kit.
“If anybody comes across a carcass, be it a dolphin or bird, the
first thing to do is report it
to Defra,” she added. “The
second thing is to keep
your distance and keep
your dogs on a short
lead because they could
get contaminated.”
The UK Health Security Agency says the threat to
humans and other mammals
from bird flu remains low but the
situation is being closely monitored.

Craig Jones, front
right, with Saltash
Community Fire
Station colleagues

Mr Durante said: “From start
to finish it was over in probably no
more than a minute. My training
helped me make some clear decisions. So many things came together
with the help of colleagues who arrived at the scene.”
Mr Durante proposed to his
now fiancée, Monica, two
weeks later.
Each of the awards
is decided by a dedicated Whitehall panel
after receiving nominations from members
of the public for acts
of courage in the face of
extreme danger.
Oliver Dowden, the Chancellor of
the Duchy of Lancaster, said: “We all
hope we’d react with courage in the
face of danger.
“These people have lived through
that test, and responded in the most
admirable way. Their selfless actions
have saved lives.”

TRIBUTE

‘Respected’ grandfather
awarded for bravery
By Cahal Milmo

Among the recipients of the
Queen’s Gallantry Medal is a
posthumous award for a Welsh
pensioner who was killed while
trying to protect shoppers
during a frenzied knife attack in
a Co-op supermarket.
John Rees, 88, from Trealaw,
left his wife Eunice in the car
while he queued to go into the
village store for their weekly
groceries on 5 May 2020.
The grandfather stepped
in to try to stop mentally ill
Zara Radcliffe from
attacking shoppers.

WILDLIFE

Dead seals found with bird flu
spark warning for dog owners
By Steve Robson

Fears for the UK’s coastal wildlife
are increasing after five more seals
found dead on a Cornwall beach tested positive for bird flu.
It has not been determined whether bird flu was the sole cause of death
and it is possible other factors may
have contributed. It is understood

the Government has reported the
findings to the World Organisation
for Animal Health.
There have been at least six confirmed cases of bird flu in non-avian
wildlife in the UK in the first three
months of 2023, says the Department
for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra). Victims include foxes,
otters, porpoises and dolphins. Ex-

perts believe they have come into
contact with infected birds through
scavenging. But there is increasing
concern about whether the virus will
spread within mammals.
The Wildlife Trusts organisation
has also warned people walking dogs
to be vigilant and to make sure their
pets do not come into contact with
dead animals or birds.

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

5

WEATHER

Wet and windy
conditions for
rest of March
By Jake McKee

The UK is set to be lashed by wet and
windy conditions for the rest of the
month after an Arctic blast of freezing and snowy weather just days before the start of spring.
Although temperatures will become milder, it is also forecast to get
wetter and windier – conditions the
Met Office says will continue until
the end of March.
The weekend will start frostfree for most of the UK, Met Office
meteorologist Aidan McGivern
said, adding that it will be “classic
spring weather”.
Today, some areas will have
“relatively mild” conditions, with
some rainfall expected to hit western and the far north of Scotland
until lunchtime.
While most of England and
Wales can expect sunny spells, Mr
McGivern said scattered showers
could be “fairly lively”, particularly in
the Midlands and northern England.
Winds are expected to pick up.
Daytime temperatures are expected
to be between 11°C and 15°C.

Cyclists in
Westminster,
London, brave the
rain yesterday
VICTORIA JONES/PA

Weather, page 89

MEDIA

Murdoch fears fallout for his UK empire
By David Parsley
CHIEF NEWS CORRESPONDENT

Rupert Murdoch is “determined
to fight” defamation suits brought
against Fox News in order to avoid
an investigation into his status as a
fit and proper media owner in the
UK, i has learned.
Fox is facing two lawsuits from
voting machine operators Dominion
and Smartmatic, with both companies claiming the channel broadcast
false allegations that their machines
were rigged to help hand Joe Biden
the 2020 presidential election.
It is also understood that Mr Murdoch, the Fox chairman, and his son
Lachlan, who runs Fox’s day-to-day
operations as chief executive, will
defend the actions vigorously to
keep their hopes of reuniting News
Corp and Fox alive.
The two companies were split

in 2013, but despite scrapping the
merger in January father and son
are believed to still harbour hopes of
uniting the companies.
Legal papers from Dominion claim
Rupert Murdoch knew the allegations Fox were broadcasting were
false, but decided not to stop them.
In his deposition to Dominion’s
legal team, Mr Murdoch rejected
the allegation that the network as an
entity endorsed former President
Donald Trump’s election lies.
But he did concede that show
hosts Sean Hannity, Jeanine Pirro,
Maria Bartiromo, and former host
Lou Dobbs promoted the falsehood about the presidential contest
being stolen.
“Some of our commentators were
endorsing it,” Mr Murdoch said,
according to the legal documents,
when asked about the hosts’ on-air
positions about the election.

Fox chairman Rupert Murdoch
admits hosts backed Trump’s lie

“I would have liked us to be stronger in denouncing it, in hindsight,”
he added.
The papers also revealed that
Mr Murdoch referred to some

of Trump’s 2020 election lies as
“bullshit and damaging”.
News Corp owns the TalkTV news
channel in the UK and a source suggested it could be put under pressure from the regulator, Ofcom, “if
those in politics who have never
liked Rupert choose to kick up a fuss
around these libel actions”.
The Dominion lawsuit has a potential price tag of $1.6bn (£1.3bn)
and the Smartmatic suit could cost
Fox $2.7bn.
While both lawsuits could be
settled out of court, Alice Enders,
director of research at media analysis group Enders, suggests this
would not be an ideal solution for
the Murdochs as “they would not
disprove the allegation that they
knew the claims being made by Fox
were false”.
Fox denies all the claims made in
both lawsuits.

PEOPLE

Safeguarding media business for future merger is key motive
By David Parsley

A News Corp executive said
Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch are
“determined” to fight the actions
because settling or losing could
cause issues for them in other
parts of their media empire.
“For one, they are still hopeful
that the News Corp and Fox

merger can be reignited at some
point in the future, but paying
out billions as a result of the libel
actions is not going to make that
merger seem very attractive to
News Corp shareholders,” the
executive said.
“Second, there is a fear that
Rupert or Lachlan, or both,
cannot risk the allegation

that they may have known
the claims against the voting
machine companies were false
hanging around.
“That could cause issues in
other part of the business. For
example, I wouldn’t be surprised
if questions are asked in the UK
about Rupert’s qualification as a
fit and proper media owner.”

Alice Enders, director of
research at media analysis group
Enders, said: “In the UK, you
have the fit and proper test for
television companies, and News
Corp owns TalkTV.
“Whether or not these
suits succeed, I think there
are implications for the
Murdochs here.”

Plaintiffs High legal bar
The original split between Fox
and News Corp in 2013 was made
to shield Fox from the litigation
that arose in the UK in relation
to the phone-hacking scandal, an
expert said.
“Then last year’s mooted plan
to re-unite the companies has the
problem posed by Fox’s exposure to
the voting machines litigation for
News Corp shareholders,” said Alice
Enders, director of research at media
analysis group Enders.
“Losing either of
these lawsuits
would likely end
any hope of the
merger being
resurrected.”
However, Ms
Enders (inset) also
said both Dominion
and Smartmatic will
have to overcome a high
burden of proof in US law.
“The US is the land of freedom of
expression and as far as media is
concerned, it has a very high bar for a
libel suit with a claim for damages.
“The plaintiff must demonstrate
actual malice, with knowledge that
the statement was false or with
reckless disregard of whether it was
false or not.
“The fact that both suits against
Fox News and its presenters have
advanced is an indication that the
plaintiffs have made a strong case.”

6

NEWS

HEALTH

Pay deal for nurses
came with guarantee
over NHS funding
Exclusive
By Jane Merrick and Hugo Gye

Government negotiators have
promised union representatives
that funding for the pay rise and
bonus for more than a million health
workers would come from “additional investment” beyond existing
NHS budgets.
The written guarantee from the
Government, as part of its pay offer
on Thursday, made clear the deal
would be “above the [health] department’s budget” for both the 2022-23
one-off lump sum and the pay rise
for 2023-24.
The disclosure came amid concerns that the Government has not
yet fully explained publicly how it
will fund the £4bn cost of the pay
deal for nurses, ambulance workers
and other NHS staff.
Downing Street said the one-off
payments for a million NHS workers
for 2022-23 would be an “additional
investment of around £2.7bn” while
the pay rise for 2023-24 “is an additional investment of around £1.3bn”.
In the final stages of the talks,
health unions demanded assurances in writing that the pay offer would
not come from existing NHS budgets, which are already tight.
The Government’s letter says:
“Funding arrangements have not
been finalised, but there is additional investment in pay for both years
above the department’s budget.”
The national secretary of the
GMB union, Rachel Harrison (inset),
said: “Unions were given a written
guarantee money for both years of
the NHS pay offer would come from
outside existing NHS budgets.
“We proceeded in good faith on
that basis. It’s up to the Treasury
and Department of Health to explain themselves if that’s no longer
the case, but GMB is clear the health
service is already cut to the bone.”
Teachers, civil servants and other
public sector workers outside the

NHS who are striking over pay may
get a lesser deal than nurses and
ambulance staff, Downing Street
has suggested.
The pay offer agreed between
health unions and ministers
this week involves a one-off
payment for the current
financial year which is
split into two – a nonconsolidated lump sum
of 2 per cent of this
year’s salary and a more
generous “NHS backlog
bonus” of at least £1,250
per worker, or more than 4
per cent of pay.
This is in addition to a 5 per cent
pay rise for the next financial year.
Union insiders are concerned
that the “salami slicing” of the 202223 offer for NHS staff, with a ringfenced Covid backlog bonus, could
allow the Government to negotiate

a much-reduced package for teachers and civil servants during talks to
avert strike action, as it could be argued that these workers do not face
the same Covid pandemic pressures
as nurses and ambulance staff.
Asked why the one-off
payment for 2022-23 was
split into two for NHS
staff, a Downing Street
spokesman said: “One
of them is a 2 per cent
non-consolidated award
based on an individual’s
salary, whilst one is an
NHS backlog bonus which
is there to recognise the pressure
that the NHS faced throughout
the pandemic.”
Asked whether that meant other
unions involved in strike action
would not be offered that package,
the spokesman said: “I’m not going
to get into details of negotiations”.

The NHS pay deal Figures behind the headlines
Ministers may be being deliberately
Hunt warned there were still
vague about how the £4bn NHS pay
challenges for the public finances.
deal is being funded because there
The pay offer agreed between
are likely to be weeks of negotiations
health unions and ministers
with other public sector unions.
involves a one-off payment for
The Health Secretary, Steve
the current financial year
Barclay, is due to hold talks
that is split into two – a
with Chancellor Jeremy
non-consolidated lump
Hunt over how exactly
sum of 2 per cent of
the offer for nurses,
this year’s salary and a
ambulance workers
more generous “NHS
The additional
and other NHS staff
backlog bonus” of at
investment in
will be funded.
least £1,250 per worker,
NHS pay increases
Before the deal was
or more than 4 per cent
announced by the
announced on Thursday,
of pay. This is in addition
Government
Mr Hunt sounded
to a 5 per cent pay rise for
optimistic that there could be
the next financial year.
new funding for any such agreement,
Downing Street said the one-off
and Rishi Sunak said frontline NHS
payments for a million NHS
budgets would not be affected.
workers for 2022-23 would be an
But the Government still has to
“additional investment of around
hold talks with striking teachers,
£2.7bn” while the pay rise for 2023-24
junior doctors and civil servants,
“is an additional investment of
who have their own pay demands.
around £1.3bn”.
During this week’s Budget, Mr
Jane Merrick

£1.3bn

NHS

‘Long story short: no hope. I’m leaving the UK’
By Connie Dimsdale

An experienced junior doctor
who is leaving to practise
medicine abroad said he has “no
faith” that the NHS is going to be
fixable for its employees during
his working life.
The 37-year-old cardiologist,
who asked to remain anonymous,
plans to leave despite being one
year from consultancy level,
having qualified more than a
decade ago.
He said it is a “stain on this
country’s conscience” that

doctors, nurses and paramedics
have been driven to strike over
poor pay and working conditions.
“I think a serious Department
of Health needs to take a look
at how to stop this happening
again,” he told i.
He thinks nurses and
paramedics “deserve more” than
the Government’s new offer and
called for salaries to be increased
annually in line with inflation.
“That’s the least we could offer
healthcare workers,” he said.
The Government has resisted
above-inflation pay rises because

one of its top priorities is to bring
inflation down to ease the cost of
living crisis.
The cardiologist said a five
per cent rise would not be fair on
doctors either as it would put the
UK “behind most comparable
economies”
But he added that he cannot see
a resolution that would convince
him to stay.
“Long story short – I’m still
pissed off. No hope. I’m leaving
the UK. And I will recommend
to colleagues to do so if they can
too,” he said.

The Waleses
pay tribute to
Irish Guards

The Prince and Princess of Wales
yesterday celebrated St Patrick’s
Day alongside the Irish Guards
at a parade at Mons Barracks in
Aldershot, Hampshire.
William said he was “incredibly

EMPLOYMENT

Junior doctors
halt strike action
for negotiations
By Paul Gallagher and Jane Merrick

The union representing striking junior doctors has accepted an offer of
pay talks, the Department of Health
and Social Care said last night.
The British Medical Association
(BMA) had requested formal pay
talks on the same terms as unions
representing nurses, ambulance
workers and other NHS staff, a Government source said.
The BMA is hoping to meet the
Health Secretary early next week to
discuss a pay rise.
Dr Vivek Trivedi, co-chairman of
the BMA’s junior doctors’ committee, said he hoped talks with Steve
Barclay could begin soon.

It comes after a breakthrough was
reached between the Government
and 14 health unions on a better pay
deal for around a million NHS staff.
Junior doctors staged a three-day
walkout this week but the union will
not announce further strikes while
the talks are ongoing.
Thursday’s offer for other NHS
staff includes a one-off lump sum for
2022-23 which rises in value up the
NHS pay bands, as well as a permanent 5 per cent rise on all pay points
for 2023-24.
Junior doctors went on a 72-hour
strike without emergency cover
this week. More than 175,000 patient appointments and procedures
had to be cancelled in England.

NEWS
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OPINION
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ANDREW MATTHEWS/PA

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
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TV
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TRAVEL
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MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

7

EDUCATION

Teachers’ unions and
Government agree to
hold ‘intensive talks’
By Richard Vaughan and Arj Singh

sad” to be marking the end of his
time as colonel of the regiment,
while Kate, who has taken over the
role, took the opportunity to hail the
regiment’s “boundless, irreverent,
glorious sense of humour”.

Kate, in a turquoise coat matching
the colour of the 1st Battalion’s
blue plume, presented sprigs
of shamrock to the officers and
guardsmen as well as to the Irish
wolfhound regimental mascot.

TRAINS
Consultants provided emergency
care but many planned non-urgent
­treatments were rescheduled.
NHS England medical director,
Professor Sir Stephen Powis, said:
“This strike was on an unprecedented scale and had a greater impact
than all the other industrial action
so far. Over 175,000 appointments
and procedures were rescheduled
to protect emergency, critical and
urgent care for patients, which will
inevitably impact on efforts to tackle
the Covid backlog.”
The BMA is demanding “pay restoration” for junior doctors, who
make up about 45 per cent of the
medical workforce. It says pay has
fallen in real terms by 26.1 per cent
since 2008 and reversing this would
require a 35.3 per cent pay rise.
A Department of Health and Social Care spokesperson said: “We
deeply regret that over 175,000 appointments and procedures were
cancelled this week despite our offer
to start formal talks on the condition
strikes were paused. However we
are pleased the BMA has now accepted our offer to enter talks.”

Passengers to
face disruption
in rail walkout
By Alan Jones

Train passengers will face fresh
disruption today because of another strike by rail workers in the
long-running dispute over jobs, pay
and conditions.
Members of the Rail, Maritime
and Transport union (RMT) at 14
train operators will walk out, crippling services across the country.
Passengers were warned to check
before they travel, with trains due
to start later and finish much earlier than usual – typically between
7.30am and 6.30pm.
It is expected that nationally between 40 per cent and 50 per cent of
train services will run but there will
be wide variations across the network, with no services in some areas.
Services may also be disrupted
tomorrow morning.

Headteachers’ and teachers’ leaders
will continue to hold “intensive” negotiations with the Government on
teachers’ pay, conditions and workload over the weekend in a bid to end
the strikes affecting schools.
The Education Secretary, Gillian
Keegan, and all unions – the Association of School and College Leaders,
National Association of Head Teachers, NASUWT and National Education Union (NEU) – met yesterday
to begin talks in the wake of a deal
being struck by the health unions
earlier this week.
The NEU has agreed a “period of
calm” of two weeks, during which
no further strike dates will be announced “in order for the talks to
begin and, we hope, reach a successful conclusion”, the unions said in
a statement.
It comes after health unions and
the Government struck a breakthrough pay agreement under which
NHS nurses and paramedics will
suspend strike action after months
of walkouts.
Ministers hope the breakthrough
will open the door for deals in other
sectors where the Government is
the employer.
More than half of schools either
closed or dramatically restricted at-

Education Secretary Gillian Keegan
held talks with members of various
education unions MARY BOUSTED/PA

tendance in England this week when
NEU members took industrial action on Wednesday and Thursday.
According to data released by the
Department for Education, 47 per
cent of all schools in England were
open but restricting attendance, and
6 per cent were fully closed on both
strike days this week.
The Government will be eager to
secure a breakthrough in the talks
with the education unions in the twoweek hiatus, particularly as many
unions will soon be heading off to
hold their annual conferences.

The NEU is demanding that
teachers be given an above-inflation pay rise, funded by money that
does not come from within existing
school budgets.
Most state school teachers in England received a 5 per cent pay rise
last year, while the Government offered a 3 per cent uplift for 2023-24,
which was rejected by the NEU.
Inflation currently stands at
around 10 per cent in the UK, but the
Treasury and the Bank of England
expect it to be dramatically reduced
by the end of the year.
The NEU, which was the only education union to secure enough support from its members to strike, is
consulting its members in Wales on
an improved pay offer.
The Welsh Government made an
increased offer of 8 per cent for 202223, made up of a 6.5 per cent rise in
salaries, plus a one-off payment of
1.5 per cent, followed by a 5 per cent
increase for next year.
In Scotland, where the
dispute has been settled,
teachers agreed to a 7 per cent
increase for 2022-23, backdated to
April. This came with a 5 per cent
rise in April 2023 and a 2 per cent
increase in January 2024.

TRAVEL

UNIONS

Summer sunseekers urged
to apply for passports early

Heathrow staff
to strike over
pay this Easter

By Lucie Heath

Britons who need to renew their
passports before going on holiday
this summer are being urged to get
their applications in as soon as possible after Passport Office workers
announced a five-week long strike.
More than 1,000 members of the
Public and Commercial Services
union will strike from 3 April to
5 May.
Jo Rhodes, deputy
editor of Which? Travel,
said the action will be of
concern to “hundreds of
thousands of travellers
who need to renew”.
The Passport Office
warned it can take up to 10
weeks for new passports to
be processed, but Ms Rhodes said
that this could now rise.
Downing Street said ministers
would work to “mitigate” the impact
of strikes but that there are no plans
to change guidance on the 10-week
waiting times for passports.
Alex Scripps (inset), from London,
said he rushed to submit his pass-

port application form yesterday. He
is booked to fly to Portugal in July.
“I was a bit stressed this morning because it has been on my list of
things to do for a while,” he said.
Last year, hundreds of thousands
of people were hit by delays in processing in the aftermath of the Covid
pandemic, with the Passport Office
unable to keep up with demand once
travel restrictions were eased.
A report in December by
the National Audit Office
found 360,000 people
waited more than 10
weeks to receive their
passport in the first
nine months of 2022.
Passport Office staff
in Durham, Glasgow, Liverpool, London, Newport,
Peterborough and Southport will
walk out from 3 April to 5 May, while
those in Belfast will strike from 7
April to 5 May.
The workers want a 10 per cent
pay rise as well as changes to pension and redundancy terms.
Travel, page 73

By Alan Jones

Security guards at Heathrow Airport are to strike over Easter in a
dispute over pay.
Unite said more than 1,400 of its
members employed by Heathrow
Airports Ltd would take 10 days of
strike action from 31 March after
voting in favour of walkouts.
The strike action involves security
guards employed at Terminal 5.
The Unite general secretary,
Sharon Graham, said: “Workers at
Heathrow Airport are on poverty
wages while the chief executive and
senior managers enjoy huge salaries.
“It is the airport’s workers who are
fundamental to its success and they
deserve a fair pay increase.
“Our members are simply unable
to make ends meet due to the low
wages paid by Heathrow. They are
being forced to take strike action due
to need not greed.”
A Heathrow spokesman said:
“Passengers can be reassured that
we have contingency plans which
will keep the airport open.”

8

NEWS

POLITICS

PM’s ratings up but
public believe Budget
will only benefit rich
Exclusive
By Hugo Gye
POLITICAL EDITOR

The Budget won’t help with the cost
of living and will benefit the rich
more than the poor, the public believes, despite voters backing each
individual measure.
An exclusive poll for i by BMG
Research found that Rishi Sunak is
closing the popularity gap with Sir
Keir Starmer, although the Conservatives still trail a long way behind Labour.
The pollster said the Budget was
a “qualified success”, but warned it
“does very little to shift the dial”.
Each of the measures contained
in the Budget is supported by more
people than oppose it, the BMG survey found, with the fuel duty freeze,
extension of energy bills support and
end of the penalty applied to people
who use prepayment meters the
most popular policies.
It found 74 per cent supported
continued energy bill help, with 5 per
cent opposed; 71 per cent supported
ending the prepayment penalty, with
6 per cent opposed.
Another 67 per cent supported
the fuel duty freeze, with 6 per cent
against; 63 per cent supported childcare help, with 10 per cent against.
Tougher benefits sanctions are
supported by 53 per cent, with 19
per cent against, while 49 per cent
supported the corporation tax hike,
with 13 per cent opposed.
The cut in beer duty is backed by
45 per cent, with 13 per cent against;
while 45 per cent supported the
defence increase, with 18 per cent

Budget poll
Poll of 1,546 eligible GB adults, 15 to 16 March 2023

Q How do people feel about the budget?
Positive

25

Neither

Negative

31

42

Q Who benefits most from the budget?
Mainly people on higher incomes
and/or with greater wealth
40%
Both those with higher incomes/wealth
and lower incomes/wealth
26%
Mainly people on lower incomes and/
or with less wealth
12%
Don't know
21%
Q How satisfied are you with Rishi
Sunak’s performance as PM and Keir
Starmer’s performance as Labour
leader?
Dissatisfied
Satisfied
Rishi Sunak
Feb 2023
25%
45%
Mar 2023 29%
40%
Keir Starmer
Feb 2023 31%
28%
Mar 2023 30%
30%
SOURCE: BMG RESEARCH

against. The most politically controversial policy, lifting the cap on taxfree pension savings for millionaires,
is backed by 38 per cent of the public,
with 20 per cent against.
But asked their response to the
Budget overall, 31 per cent were negative, 25 per cent were positive and
42 per cent had no view.
Forty per cent said they thought
it would mostly benefit people on
higher incomes and with greater

wealth, compared to 12 per cent who
predicted it would help the poorest most. Voters tended to agree
that the Budget would help grow the
economy and encourage businesses
to invest .
Only 23 per cent thought it would
help with the cost of living. And 53
per cent said they did not believe the
Budget would help them, while only
15 per cent believed it would.
BMG’s Adam King said: “The
overall pitch that Jeremy Hunt and
Rishi Sunak are attempting to make
to the public is around competence
and stability. There is a case to mark
the Budget as a qualified success.”
But he added: “The Budget does
very little to shift the dial politically.
It is still early days, but there are no
obvious signs of any post-Budget
bounce for the Conservatives.”
Overall voting patterns appear
unchanged since February, with the
Tories on 29 per cent – the same as
last month – and Labour on 46 per
cent, putting it on course for a landslide general election victory.
Mr Sunak’s ratings are improving:
29 per cent of voters approve of his
performance with 40 per cent disapproving, for a net rating of -11. Sir
Keir has slipped back to 30 per cent
in favour and 30 per cent against,
down from +3 previously.
BMG Research interviewed
a representative sample of
1,546 British adults between 15
and 16 March. Data are weighted.
BMG is a member of the British
Polling Council.

Going good for
day at the races
The Cheltenham Festival reached
its climax yesterday as crowds
flocked to the track for the feature
Gold Cup on the fourth and final
day of racing at Cheltenham
Racecourse in Gloucestershire.
PAUL CHILDS/REUTERS

ANALYSIS

Comment

Public support for every
individual Budget measure

Change is the norm, so
focus on pension rules
as they stand today

By Hugo Gye

There is undoubtedly good news
for the Government in BMG’s latest
poll for i, carried out in the two days
after Jeremy Hunt’s Budget.
Every single measure announced by the Chancellor is on balance popular
with the public, including the corporation tax
hike (hated by many
Tory backbenchers)
and pensions tax break
for millionaires (fiercely
opposed by Labour).
And Rishi Sunak’s personal
ratings are on the up after a couple of months where he has scored
notable successes, including a
Brexit deal with the EU and some
high-profile diplomacy.

But the Conservatives still have a
very long way to go to restore their
standing with the public after it
tanked last year.
The fact that the Budget is seen
negatively overall, with its benefits thought to accrue primarily to the wealthy,
shows the party simply
is not trusted to act in
the interests of ordinary
people any more.
Trust is a hard-won
commodity in politics,
and once lost it can take a
long time to get it back.
Racking up policy successes
is the only way that Mr Sunak (inset)
and Mr Hunt can have any hope of
catching up with Labour – but there
is a long road ahead, and only a short
time to get it right.

Jessie Hewitson

I

fully sympathise with those
of you who find articles
on pension saving less
than straightforward and
categorically not scintillating,
but I would like to say: don’t
blame me and my colleagues.
We would love to explain, for
example, that this is your annual
allowance. A plain figure. Zero
confusion. But instead all we
can say is: this is likely to be your
annual allowance, but it will

depend on how much you earn
and whether you’ve already
started taking money out of your
pot, and so on.
Politicians tinker so
relentlessly with pension rules
that nothing stays fixed for long.
After Jeremy Hunt announced
his decision to scrap the lifetime
allowance – currently if you have
over £1.08m saved you will have
to pay between 25 and 55 per
cent tax on anything you take
out above this limit – one of my
first thoughts was: what happens
when it’s reversed?
Since 2010, the lifetime
allowance for pensions and the

annual allowance (the former is
how much you can save tax-free
into your pension in total, the
latter every year) have seen a
major change roughly every
other year – sometimes both at
the same time.
And let’s not forget the pension
freedoms George Osborne
ushered in in 2014. Previously,
you had to take out an annuity
– these provide an income for
life and, while predictable,
have sometimes come with very
low rates of return, making
them unattractive. But after
Osborne you could take out some
money and keep the rest invested.
Everything we understood
about turning our retirement
pots into income was ripped up,
and a whole new array of options
was introduced for us all to get
our heads around.
There is a real danger in
changing the pension system
so routinely, even when you
do it for the right reasons. You

NEWS
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OPINION
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PUZZLES
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SPORT
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SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

HEALTH

POLITICS

Speaker will
not act over
anti-vax MP’s
false claims

Benefits reforms
could mean ‘fair
number’ will
lose payments

By Arj Singh
DEPUTY POLITICAL EDITOR

A disgraced MP who was stripped of
the Conservative whip for comparing the use of Covid vaccines to the
Holocaust is free to raise “dangerous” anti-vax conspiracy theories in
Parliament, according to the Commons Speaker.
Andrew Bridgen, who lost the
party whip in January, “has a right
to express his views whether others agree with them or not”, said a
spokeswoman for the Speaker, Sir
Lindsay Hoyle.
It came after Mr Bridgen once
again used a Commons adjournment
debate to make a string of claims
about Covid vaccines, including that
boosters are “state-sponsored self
harm on a national level”.
The claims were thoroughly debunked by the health minister Will
Quince, who said vaccines have
“saved tens of thousands of lives, reduced the pressure on the NHS and
were instrumental in allowing our
economy and society to reopen”.
It is the second time Mr Bridgen
has used a Commons adjournment
debate, allocated by ballot, to spread
misinformation about vaccines.
But a spokeswoman for the Speaker said Sir Lindsay had “no plans” to
stop him.
Responding to Mr Bridgen’s
claims, Mr Quince said vaccines
were “the best line of defence”
against Covid and had allowed the
UK to “live with the virus”.
“Countless studies” have shown
vaccinated people are “less likely to
die or become seriously ill”, he said,
pointing out that 144 million vaccine doses have been administered
in England alone, with 17 million in
autumn’s booster campaign.

WELFARE
confuse people. Each change
has a knock-on effect that adds
to the sense that everything is
constantly moving.
Financial advisers are getting
calls from people wondering what
to do before Labour gets into
power. These calls are made from
people with sizeable pensions,
but all the same it makes me
anxious. No one should be making
significant decisions about
their future based on electoral
guesswork and what a future
government may or may not do.
So how do you plan your
pension when everything is
changing? Focus on the rules as
they are today.
My dream scenario would be
for cross-party agreement on
leaving pensions well alone for at
least the next decade.
If the rules stay consistent,
you can get on with saving and I
can get on with writing pension
articles that don’t bore you
to tears.

TRAVEL
71-75

Government
unable to name
payments date

state when the first instalment, of
£301, would be rolled out.
Social welfare charities said vulnerable families needed “certainty”
in order to budget properly.
Laurence Guinness, chief executive of London-based childhood povBy Jake McKee
erty charity The Childhood Trust,
said it was “cruel” and “shocking”
The Government has been urged to that dates had not been released.
confirm a date for the release of its
Save the Children UK’s head of
spring cost of living payments
child poverty, Becca Lyon, told
i there were families the
for some of the most vulnerable people in the UK.
charity supported who
Around eight million
had expressed how difficult it was to budget
households with people
with “no concrete
on low income benefits
date” for payments.
or tax credits are set to
She added: “When
receive a total of £900
The amount due
to be paid to
families are strugin three instalments
vulnerable citizens
gling to put food on the
over the next 12 months.
this spring
table, they need to know
The Government has
in advance what money is
said the three payments will
coming in.”
be handed out in the spring and
The DWP said: “The first payment
autumn of this year and in spring
2024. However, when approached by is due to be made in the spring –
i, the Department for Work and Pen- specific dates will be confirmed
sions (DWP) was unable to explicitly closer to the time.”

£301

By Chloe Chaplain
POLITICAL REPORTER

The Government’s plans to streamline health and disability benefits are
lacking crucial details with “fundamental questions” around how people will be protected, a senior MP
has warned.
Stephen Timms, chair of the Work
and Pensions Select Committee, told
i he was concerned at the lack of
clarity around the proposed benefit
changes, given that ministers intend
to begin the legislative process
within the coming year.
And he said that the reforms could mean a “fair
number of people” missing out on benefits who
would otherwise have
been eligible.
Under the changes, the
work capability assessment (WCA) for determining
benefit payments will be replaced
with the existing personal independence payment (PIP) system, which is
used to decide what day-to-day help
a disabled person might need.
Labour MP Mr Timms (inset) said
he was concerned about how people
who are eligible for health-related
benefits – but not PIP – will be identified without the usual assessments.
These are the people that experts
and charities fear could miss out on
benefits, or even face a reduction in
their out-of-work universal credit,
because they are not properly identified as living with a health condition.
Mr Timms said: “They are saying if you have PIP you will get the
health element of universal credit, so
that’s clear.
“But there’s another group of
people who are not on PIP who have

9

always been entitled to health support. The question is: how is the
Government going to work out who
these people are? ”
He added: “The details just aren’t
there. It’s a bit puzzling that they’re
going to scrap the WCA but the
[forecasting] indicates that the
amount of money being spent on the
benefit is going to be unchanged. So
there won’t be any more or any fewer
people receiving the benefit.
“So there’ll have to be some sort
of assessment, doing roughly the
job that the WCA is doing at
the moment.”
i reported concerns
that the benefit reforms,
coupled with the Government’s plans to
ramp up sanctions,
could leave some people’s income reduced.
Mr Timms said it was
“certainly possible” that
the Government “could end up
denying benefits or additional benefit to a fair number of people who
receive it at the moment”.
But he said did not believe that
was the intention.
“The fact that the Budget scorecard shows zero change in benefit
spending indicates they do expect to
carry on paying this health premium
to this group of people,” he said.
A Government spokesperson said:
“These are the biggest reforms in a
decade. That’s why we will take time
to carefully consider how best to implement the changes and give security and certainty to claimants.
“We will put protections in place
to ensure that no one experiences financial loss at the point at which the
reform is enacted, while improving
our offer of tailored support.”

CONSERVATIVES

Johnson re-selected for Uxbridge
By Connie Dimsdale

Boris Johnson has been
re-selected as the Conservative
candidate in his Uxbridge and
South Ruislip constituency.
The selection comes following
speculation that the former
prime minister might seek out
a safer seat ahead of the next
general election.
“I can confirm Boris Johnson
has been reselected as the
Conservative candidate in
Uxbridge and South Ruislip,” a
spokesman said.
While Mr Johnson won with a
majority of 7,210 and 52.6 per cent
or the vote in 2019, his seat is seen
as a target for Labour. .
Since leaving office in

September, Mr Johnson has
declared more than £1m in
speaking fees.
He has also made public
interventions, criticising the
deal with the EU agreed by Rishi
Sunak to replace elements of the
Northern Ireland Protocol.
A statement by Uxbridge and
South Ruislip Conservative
Association said: “We look
forward to continuing to work
alongside him to deliver for the
residents and communities
within the constituency, where he
has strong connections.”
Mr Johnson is set to give
televised evidence to the
privileges committee over
whether he misled Parliament
about “Partygate”.

10

NEWS

BUDGET

Eager parents swamp
nurseries unaware of
delay in free childcare
Exclusive
By Ellen O’Dwyer

Nurseries have been inundated with
requests about free childcare hours
from parents unaware that the Government’s new policy will not be fully
rolled out until 2025.
Earlier this week the Chancellor,
Jeremy Hunt, announced a £4.1bn
expansion in free childcare hours in
England for children aged between
nine months and two years to be
rolled out in stages over the next two
years. This extends the current system of 30 hours of free childcare for
three- and four-year-olds.
From April 2024, eligible working parents of two-year-olds will re-

ceive 15 hours of free childcare and
from September 2024 this will be
extended for children aged between
nine months and two years. The full
expansion of 30 hours of free
childcare to all under-fives
will not come into effect
until 2025.
Andrew Howarth,
director of Paint Pots
Nurseries, which has
three sites – two in
Manchester and one in
Cheshire – said calls started coming in from parents
wanting to take up the free hours
on Wednesday night, shortly after
the Budget announcement.
By early Thursday morning, the

CHARITY

‘Funding for breakfast clubs’ call
By Chloe Chaplain
POLITICAL REPORTER

A charity that funds free breakfasts
to deprived schoolchildren, is
urging the Department for
Education to ring-fence
some of the new money
for “wraparound care”
to support hungry kids.
The funding also risks
being an “expensive
token” unless a long-term
sustainable model is established, according to the charity Magic Breakfast.
It also warned that without a
long-term funding plan, efforts to
boost childcare through extending school hours could lead to increased pressure on teachers to be

the “unspoken arm of the welfare
state”. In the Budget, Jeremy Hunt
unveiled £289m over three years to
“test” whether schools could provide
extra childcare between 8am
and 6pm.
Magic Breakfast boss
Lindsey MacDonald
(inset) welcomed the
funding but said it was
not addressing the “urgent” need to help deprived children now.
“Where breakfast clubs
can make an impact on children’s learning, attainment, nutrition, health and focus – then we need
to make sure that is… set out in the
guidelines by the DfE,” she told i.
The Government has been contacted for comment.

three centres had taken multiple
phone calls and emails from parents
– and these had only increased by the
afternoon, Mr Howarth said.
“People are thinking it’s
starting right now, like
Monday. You can understand the eagerness. A
lot of people just read
the headline or the
tagline, without seeing
the detail.
“Basically, we are telling them we will keep them
updated, but there’s nothing
we can offer at the moment.”
Mr Howarth said parents were
“disappointed” when they found out
the new policy would not begin to
take effect for another year and not
fully for another two years.
He said the way the policy has
been promoted by the Government
has left many parents confused.
“They have no idea this is a long
way off and actually may never be
implemented, depending on the result of the next general election.”
Karen Simpkin, owner of Sunflower Children’s Centre in Sheffield,
said she had to tell parents the help
would not be available immediately.
“All these parents that had babies
in here already were getting rather
excited and we had to tell them to
have a cup of tea,” she said.
“In the Budget they said they were
trying to get people back into work
but then they turn around and say
‘not for another year or 18 months’.”
Ms Simpkin said she was concerned that by the time the policy
comes into effect, more nurseries
would have closed.
“The costs we face are absolutely
horrendous, so we are all putting our
fees up.”

WAUGH ON POLITICS

Chancellor takes baby steps
towards new deal for families
Paul
Waugh

F

or all the cheers and
clinked glasses of
congratulations on the day
of a Budget, a hangover
often follows. And
although Jeremy Hunt’s plans for
childcare were a welcome start, for
many think-tanks and experts it’s

clear there is still a long way to go to
fix the UK’s broken system.
Childcare providers have warned
that the plan lacked the funding
needed to make it work and the
Institute for Fiscal Studies has
suggested that just a sixth of the
new childcare places would go to
parents entering the workforce.
Ministers seem to be assuming
that an increase in the staff-to-child
ratio from 1:4 to 1:5 for England will
magically allow them to deliver
the new places without much of an
increase in staffing. Yet that may
face obstacles from parents who
worry it will dilute their child’s care.

I vividly recall turning up to
our first son’s ruinously expensive
nursery one day to find there were
suddenly lots more new staff giving
every child plenty of attention.
When a young staffer confessed
that it was because Ofsted were
there for an inspection, I realised
the sleight of hand and swiftly
placed him with a childminder.
There are pros and cons to each
type of childcare. For our kids,
we found that childminders were
better for the under-threes for that
one-on-one focus, but once they
got older nurseries provided better
socialisation and early education.

Mother forced
to make career
trade-off over
costs pressure

Last year, mother-of-two Louise
Sharples, (above with daughters, Lola
and Sunnie) turned down a new job
she knew she would love because,
when she added up the cost of fulltime childcare for her young daughters, it was more than she would
have earned. After 12 years as a

Other parents will have different
experiences and views.
And ultimately childcare policy
ought to be about choice. The good
news is that the children’s minister,
Claire Coutinho, recognises this,
telling i this week “this is about
parental choice”. Yet in childcare
– as in childbirth itself – choice is
just a slogan unless it is adequately
funded and properly informed.
The crippling fees in the UK
are so high that 76 per cent of
mothers who pay for childcare say
it no longer makes financial sense
to work. An estimated 1.7 million
women are prevented from taking
on more hours of paid work due to
childcare issues, with a loss of up to
£28.2bn economic output annually.
Yet, as Tory MP George Eustice
was brave enough to point out this
week, that’s not the whole story.
A major survey of 5,057 parents
conducted by the Department for
Education in 2019 found that almost
two thirds (65 per cent) of mothers

with children aged four and under
would rather work fewer hours so
they could spend more time looking
after their children. Around two
million working mothers would
reduce the number of hours they
work, if “they could afford it”.
For decades, there was a steady
drop in the number of “stay-athome mums” who don’t work, but
in recent years that’s gone into
reverse. In 2022, 43,000 women
dropped out of the workforce
to look after family, a 3 per cent
increase on the previous year.
Some of that will be due to high
childcare costs, but some of it is due
to the pandemic making mothers

It won’t be child’s play,
but all the parties
need to make parental
choice a priority

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

EUROPE

‘I’m moving back
to Madrid because
the system is so
expensive in UK’
UK nurseries by far the most costly
in Europe. By Leo Cendrowicz

S

charity shop manager, Ms Sharples,
35, of Clitheroe, Lancashire, has now
taken what she views as a step back
in her career, moving to a part-time
but slightly better-paid cleaning job
until her children are older.
A childcare bill of around £800
covering four days a week of

nursery for 18-month-old Sunnie
and wraparound school clubs for
four-year-old Lola leaves her with
about £100 at the end of the month.
“I’d love to work more hours,” she
said. “But there is no incentive to,
because it all just goes to childcare.
I think: why am I working?” REUTERS

take stock. Like the over-50s who
receiving more money in the first
gave up work in big numbers, some
few years of a child’s life and less
concluded that their personal
later on, to help ease the financial
wellbeing and contact with loved
pressures on the “stay-at-homes”.
ones was more important than
A missing piece of the jigsaw
pounds and pence.
is the lack of legislation to force
That aligns with the growing
employers to agree to flexible
number of women who take
working. Boris Johnson
longer maternity leave
promised this before
these days than their
ditching draft
working mothers ever
employment laws to
did, with six months or
enact it. The charity
a year more popular
Pregnant Then
than three months.
Screwed says 86 per
The number of women
that dropped out
That’s due to better
cent of mothers who
of the workforce to
statutory leave, shared
try to work flexibly
look after family
parental leave, and
face discrimination as
in 2022
employers having to
a result.
meet demand.
Although the Chancellor
One of several flaws in Hunt’s
got his photo-call with toddlers
announcement was the lack of any
on Budget day, we are still a long
support for those parents who
way from a coherent childcare
simply prefer to look after their
policy for those who want to go to
young children than go to work.
work and those who don’t. It won’t
Some Tory MPs wanted to see a
be child’s play getting there, but all
radical policy of front-loaded child
the parties need to make parental
benefit payments, with parents
choice a priority – and a reality.

43,000

ara Bustillo de Castro, a
London-based consultant,
is set to return to her native
Spain this summer because
childcare is so expensive.
“We’re going to move back to
Madrid in August because we can’t
make it work with childcare being
so expensive and unreliable,” she
said. “I couldn’t understand why I
was struggling to go back to work
in the UK after having my second
child when I hadn’t struggled in
France after my first. Why it was
so difficult for a woman to go back
to work?”
Ms de Castro, who previously
spent a decade in France as an
aerospace engineer, believes one
reason is the lack of the government
funding and public nurseries seen
in countries like France. The UK’s
“30 free hours a week” provision
only kicks in at the age of
three, and nurseries are
forced to increase fees
for one- and two-yearolds to cover the cost
because of a funding
shortfall, she pointed
out. And many fear
that Jeremy Hunt’s
£4bn Budget cash
injection won’t be enough
to cover his promised
extension of free hours to oneand two-year-olds, meaning that
prices will rise for the remaining
paid-for hours.
Mrs De Castro, whose book on
childcare entitled The Power of
Where: International Careers and
Modern Parenting will be published
in September, says it is also hard to
find staff for UK nurseries because
of low pay, hard work and Brexit
making it tougher for immigrants
to come in. “It has become quite
ingrained that mums stay at home
and don’t work. But for many of
them, it’s not by choice, it’s just
because they can’t pay for childcare
otherwise,” she added.
But she notes that staff-to-child
ratios are higher than in Spain.
Ofsted mandates one adult for
every three babies, while in Spain,
it is 1:8. Nicola Brooks swapped
Liverpool for the Costa Blanca to
give her daughter Grace a better
quality of life. Ms Brooks paid £60
per day for childcare when Grace
was two – 10 years ago. “I also have

I couldn’t understand
why I was struggling to go
back to work in the UK when
I hadn’t struggled in France

a two-year-old granddaughter and
my daughter-in-law does a parttime job which just covers the cost
of childcare. The cost of childcare in
the UK is phenomenal,” she says.
In Spain, working mothers
receive €100 (£88) per month
childcare benefits and are entitled
to a €1,000 annual payment for
kindergarten, as well as access to
cheap state nurseries for children
over 16 weeks.
Figures show the UK is by far
the most expensive country in
Europe for childcare, with a survey
carried out by the charity Pregnant
then Screwed finding that it costs
on average £14,000 a year, and
can consume up to 75 per cent of
parent incomes.
In European Union countries,
the cost is 14 per cent of a women’s
median wage for a middleincome two-earner couple,
according to OECD data.
In Germany, the
average cost of
childcare for an entire
year is only €1,310
(£1,149). In Berlin,
besides €23 per month
for lunch, childcare
from 12 months is free
for up to nine hours per
day, depending on parents’
working hours.
Liz Gray, a 40-year-old British
mother of two who has been living
in Berlin since 2009, said it was
“fantastic” that childcare was free.
But she was told to book a place as
soon as possible.
“Friends told us how to phrase
emails. We were told to call at this
time, but not another. It was almost
like a casting. It was insane,” Ms
Gray said.
There are estimated to be
around 383,000 too few nursery
places across Germany, according
to a study carried out by the
German non-profit foundation the
Bertelsmann Stiftung.
Louise Osborne, a journalist
living in Berlin, said that when she
heard about the free hours, she was
“amazed, particularly given the
horror stories I’d heard about costs
in the UK”.
Natalie Hill, a British
photographer based in Brussels,
says she was “genuinely superhappy” with the childcare for her
daughter, Elba, now five. Local
creches give priority to lowerincome families, so Natalie and her
wife Valeria used private childcare,
at €700 (£614) a month. “It was a
chunk, but compared to the UK,
very manageable,” she said.

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

11

News in brief
REVIEW

Met Police ‘clearly
has a problem’
The Metropolitan Police “clearly
[has] got a problem” that needs
to be tackled, according to the
Justice Secretary, after reports
that a review will criticise the
force for being racist, sexist
and homophobic.
Baroness Casey has been
reviewing the Met’s standards and
internal culture in the aftermath of
the murder of Sarah Everard by a
serving officer.
Dominic Raab said there were
“clearly practices that have been far
too prevalent” that needed tackling
“head-on” and that it was clear that
bad behaviour was not isolated.

DIPLOMACY

Biden and Irish PM
discuss growing ties
Sporting a green tie and fresh
shamrocks for St Patrick’s Day,
President Joe Biden yesterday
voiced his support for a recent
economic accord affecting Ireland
as he hosted the republic’s prime
minister, a longstanding meet-up
scuttled by the Covid-19 pandemic.
Mr Biden was presented with a
bowl of shamrocks from taoiseach
Leo Varadkar, a tradition that began
in 1952. “It’s good to have you back
in the Oval Office, especially on St
Patrick’s Day,” Mr Biden said, as he
and Mr Varadkar discussed their
nations’ support of Ukraine and how
to deepen their economic ties. AP

TRAVEL

Covid tests scrapped
for China arrivals
From 5 April, passengers flying to
England from mainland China will
no longer need proof of a negative
coronavirus test, the Department of
Health and Social Care said.
In addition, voluntary Covid
testing of travellers arriving
at Heathrow from China was
scrapped yesterday.
The measures were introduced in
January in a bid to strengthen the
UK’s ability to detect potential new
variants circulating in China.
The DHSC said: “The removal
of these measures comes as China
has increased information sharing…
providing greater transparency on
their domestic disease levels.”

12

NEWS

CONSERVATIVES

Johnson allies plot to block ‘Partygate’
sanctions in ‘show of force’ against PM
Storm ahead for
Sunak after recent
successes. By
Richard Vaughan
and Hugo Gye

B

oris Johnson’s supporters
will vote against any
sanction put forward by
the Privileges Committee
over the “Partygate”
scandal, branding the inquiry a
“witch-hunt”.
Hardcore allies of the ex-Tory
leader also believe that opposing
any recommendations submitted
by the committee will act as a
“show of force” to Rishi Sunak of his
predecessor’s support base.
Johnsonites have described the
planned stand as being akin to
Spartacus, the 1960s film in which
an enslaved outsider leads a band of
fugitives to overthrow a corrupted
Rome, with Mr Johnson returned as
prime minister.
One ally said: “I, for one, will
support Boris. The committee is
just an unnecessary witch-hunt.”
Asked how many more would
be willing to vote in support of Mr
Johnson, the MP replied: “A lot. The
problem is that the toadies will vote
against him and with Labour the
numbers will be challenging.”
Mr Johnson is due to give
evidence in a public hearing in front
of the Privileges Committee on
Wednesday, where he will seek to
set out his defence.
Should the committee of MPs
find that he deliberately misled
the Commons over what he knew
about lockdown parties it could
recommend a range of sanctions,
including a suspension from
Parliament of more than 10 days,
which could trigger a by-election.
Such a move would be opposed
by Mr Johnson’s supporters,
with the same ally insisting: “If
there is a forced by-election he
will be returned, which will be a
real headache for the ones who
voted against.
“Remember he was voted in by
the majority of the country. Labour
stitched him up.”

Boris Johnson
supporters think
the situation akin
to ‘Spartacus’
REUTERS

The veteran Tory said the
situation was “exactly like”
Spartacus, adding: “The Red
Wallers who shafted Boris are
already feeling the cold from the
electorate for getting rid of him.
Boris could legitimately claim
upon a return he was voted in
by the electorate. It was Tory
inexperienced flakes in the
Red Walls and disenfranchised
ministers most from the 2015
era that went against him for
ambitious purposes.”
The comments come as another
arch-Johnsonite, Priti Patel,
warned this week that “there is a
culture of collusion involved” in
the Privileges Committee, as Mr
Johnson’s supporters continue to
seek to cast doubts over the entire

Remember he was
voted in by the majority
of the country. Labour
stitched him up

process. Another backbencher said
that the “reality is showing Labour
has had a very dark hand in the
background to this whole debate,”
in reference to the Partygate report
writer Sue Gray’s decision to seek
to become Sir Keir Starmer’s chief
of staff.
For Mr Sunak the prospect of
the Privileges Committee hearing
threatens to create a dark, Boris
Johnson-shaped cloud on his
horizon, following several weeks of
effective and crisis-free leadership.
One supporter of the Prime
Minister admitted there was
an “undercurrent of anxiety
about his [Mr Johnson] having a
platform again”. Having secured
a potential new Brexit deal for
Northern Ireland, Mr Sunak has
followed it up by displaying further
adroit diplomatic skills during a trip
to San Diego to press the flesh with
the US President, Joe Biden, and
Australian PM, Anthony Albanese,
as part of the Aukus security pact.

Ministers were relieved when the
Budget landed without the sort of
“unravelling” that has often been
the fate of previous fiscal events.
“There are things we knew would
be contentious,” a government
source said, highlighting the
decision to abolish the cap on the
total amount of money that pension
savers can accrue tax-free.
They were encouraged by the
main doctors’ union coming out
in support of the policy: “Having
the BMA out there saying there
are doctors who are planning
to come back to work, that’s the
desired effect of the policy,” the
source added.
But while the doctors may
be happy, the Trussite wing
on the Tory back benches are
less enthused.
Allies of Liz Truss gave this
week’s Budget a lukewarm
reception, with the former levelling
up secretary, Simon Clarke, grading
the package of announcements

as a “B+” during the week, with
particular ire aimed at the country’s
record high tax burden.
Sir John Redwood, who along
with Mr Clarke, handed the
Chancellor a dossier of demands
to boost growth in the economy,
warned that Mr Hunt’s Budget
“did not do enough to stimulate the
major investment we need in home
production of more energy, more
industry, more food, more tech”.
“It failed to cut through the
self-defeating money-go-round of
higher taxes and more subsidies,”
he warned.
Despite the misgivings on the
back benches, however, Mr Sunak
will be feeling bullish. His week was
capped off with the prospect of the
strikes coming to an end.
The PM had directly intervened
in the nurses’ talks, using his
authority to ensure more money
in a bid to break the impasse.
Optimism is now growing
that a similar conclusion can
be found with the teachers’
strikes, with “intensive talks”
beginning yesterday.
Despite the improved outlook,
however, Mr Sunak is unlikely to
let up. He will remain working from
Downing Street over the weekend.
“He rarely takes a break, sadly,” one
of his senior advisers admitted.
His dogged approach to detail
and his furious work ethic is
similar to that of another of his
predecessors, Theresa May, who
also presents a significant problem
for the Prime Minister.
Having finally tabled his
legislation to try to stop the small
boats crossing the Channel this
week, his proposals were given a
withering assessment by Mrs May,
who attacked the plans for being
unfair, unviable and damaging to
the UK’s international reputation.
But some of those who worked
with her in Government accuse her
of being blinkered about her own
decisions in No 10.
“She is revisionist on her own
record,” an ex-cabinet minister said.
“She complained about dropping
the 0.7 per cent aid target – but if
she’d gone to the country, one of her
main promises would have been
scrapping 0.7 per cent!”

ASYLUM

Braverman trip to reaffirm Rwanda plans
By Arj Singh and Serina Sandhu

Home Secretary Suella Braverman
will visit asylum facilities in Rwanda

Suella Braverman is heading to
Rwanda to reaffirm the UK’s commitment to a controversial £140m
plan to deport Channel asylum seekers to the east African nation.
The Home Secretary will meet
counterparts from the Rwandan
government to discuss the controversial proposals, i understands.

She will visit facilities, which could
include the Hope Hostel asylum accommodation in Kigali, and tour
programmes available for migrants.
Ms Braverman is due to land in
Rwanda this morning and will return
to the UK on Monday morning.
Nearly a year since the policy was
announced by then prime minister
Boris Johnson and home secretary
Priti Patel, no one who has arrived

in the UK after crossing the Channel in a small boat has been deported
to Rwanda after the policy became
mired in legal challenges.
Next month, the Court of Appeal
will hear the latest challenge over
the adequacy of Rwanda’s asylum
system and whether deportees face
a “real risk” of being sent back to
countries where they may face persecution or ill-treatment.

It was revealed by i last month
that the Government hopes to deport the first group of asylum seekers to Rwanda by the end of the year
or spring 2024 at the latest.
An opposition politician in Rwanda says the deal breaches legislation
aimed at protecting asylum seekers.
Victoire Ingabire Umuhoza, of
the Development and Liberty for All
party, told i: “Rwanda, as a poor and
developing country, does not have
sufficient capacity to support the
wellbeing of migrants as the UK.”

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

13

POLITICS

Lib Dems see pollution as Tory vote loser
Exclusive
By Hugo Gye
POLITICAL REPORTER

The Liberal Democrats will seek to
use a crunch vote on water pollution
to convince the public the Conservatives cannot be trusted to protect the
environment, the party’s leader has
warned ahead of the local elections.
Sir Ed Davey told i he was confident the Lib Dems could win over
disaffected Tories in wealthier areas
despite Labour’s strong position.

He insisted it helped his party
that Labour was no longer “scary”
– meaning centrist voters would not
feel forced to back the Conservatives.
Speaking ahead of the Lib
Dem spring conference in York,
which kicked off last night, Sir Ed
highlighted a forthcoming vote in
the Lords where peers will seek to
block the Government repealing
EU-derived legislation regulating
the pollution of waterways without a
replacement set of rules.
Although ministers have prom-

ENVIRONMENT

Scottish Water
failing to monitor
river pollution

ised not to diminish existing levels
of protection, Sir Ed said: “I don’t
trust them.
“What they could have done is, if
they have some proposals to replace
these important regulations that
have been in place for years now, they
should have tabled them, and they
should have voted on them so they
can say they are now in place, we can
get rid of these other regulations.”
The Environment Agency has
been “effectively defunded by the
Conservatives”, he added, calling

for tougher regulation to force water
companies to pay for the costs of
preventing sewage discharges and
cleaning them up.
“We have got to be tougher, some
of our rivers are dying,” Sir Ed said.
The House of Lords will vote on
the Retained EU Law Bill, which
sets a timeline for revoking all laws
originating in Brussels, on 19 April
– barely a fortnight before local elections where the Lib Dems are hoping
to make gains in Tory areas.
The Lib Dem leader said: “The

Conservatives know there are a lot
of lifelong supporters who are very
angry with this – as with so many
other things they are getting wrong.
And they are going to vote for the
Liberal Democrats and other parties
until the Tories get the message.”
In his conference speech tomorrow, Sir Ed will describe rivers pollution as “the biggest environmental
crime in our country today”.
The Government has said that
“reviewing our retained EU law
will not come at the expense of the
UK’s already high standards and
environmental protections will not
be downgraded”.

Case Study

Exclusive
By Chris Green
SCOTLAND EDITOR

Scotland’s publicly owned water
company has yet to install a single
new river sewage monitor more than
a year after promising 1,000 would
be fitted by the end of 2024.
In December 2021, Scottish Water
announced plans to dramatically
increase the number of monitors on
combined sewer overflows (CSOs)
on the national sewage network.
But in response to a Freedom of Information (FOI)
request from i, the company admitted that as of
1 March this year, not a
single new device had
been installed.
CSOs are designed to
drain excess water during
periods of heavy rainfall to
avoid flooding people’s houses,
but often lead to sewage being discharged directly into rivers.
The most recent data shows that
between 2017 and 2021, sewage has
overflowed directly into Scottish rivers and other water courses 54,289
times – or almost 30 times per day.
Campaigners fear the problem
could be much worse due to a lack

of monitoring. Of the 3,614 overflows in Scotland’s 31,000-mile
sewer network, only 4 per cent (144)
are monitored.
This is in contrast to England, which has 14,470
overflows of which 89
per cent (12,700) are
monitored, with 100 per
cent coverage expected
by the end of this year.
Scottish Water announced in December
2021 that it would boost the
number of monitors, but progress has been slow.
In its FOI response, Scottish
Water said it anticipated that the
project would start “within the next
few months” and that it had thus far
been focusing on deciding which
CSOs to prioritise.
Conservationists said it was “vital”
that the project went ahead as soon

‘What we want is monitoring here’
Flowing for about 24 miles from
its source in the Pentland Hills
south-west of Edinburgh, the Water
of Leith winds through Scotland’s
capital to the Firth of Forth.
But local campaigners fear
all is not well at the Leith end of
the river, which barely flows in

parts. Residents have launched a
campaign called Save Our Shore,
over fears that sewage is not flowing
out to sea but settling in silt instead.
The Water of Leith has 65
combined sewer overflows (CSOs),
where sewage can be discharged
directly into the river.

“What we want is monitoring
here and further upstream,” say
Jim Jarvie and Ian Anderson
(pictured) of Save Our Shore. “As
you’re dithering, how much sewage
and risk are we meant to put up
with in the meantime?”
Scottish environment minister
Mairi McAllan said the Water of
Leith’s CSOs were of “high priority”
for monitoring by Scottish Water.

as possible. Jonathan Louis, interim
director of the Forth Rivers Trust,
said: “It is disappointing that despite Scottish Water c­ ommitting to
installing 1,000 new sensors on polluting outflows, they have not managed to install a single new sensor.

“Scotland is in the midst of a biodiversity and wild salmon crisis and
all users of the water environment
need to do more to monitor the impact they have.”
Simon Parsons, director of strategic customer service planning

at Scottish Water, said: “We remain firmly on track to deliver on
our commitment to install 1,000
new monitors and have three intelligent waste water network
programmes in place by the end
of 2024.”

The Five-Clue Cryptic Crossword
1

Across

2

3

No 3843

3
4

Circuits in phone
network pass (6)

5/6 Term tragedian
reinvented for books,
magazines, etc (7,6)
5

6

Solution, page 52

Down

1

Bit of Spanish bread
once put in vegetable (6)

2

Delegate authority to
chap on March 18, for
example (7)

4

Dispatched railway
guard (6)

14

NEWS

SOCIETY

At the age of 26 children agree mum knows best
By Ruth Comerford

Children finally admit that “mother knows best” when they turn 26
and more than a third wish they
had heeded their mother’s advice,
according to a survey.
Almost half of Britons think
that, in retrospect, maternal advice made sense, but only 15 per
cent said they now shared the
same political views, found a poll

of 2,000 Britons conducted by the
Post Office.
The motherly advice that was
most valued was to treat people as
you would like to be treated, voted
for by 43 per cent of those polled.
Respondents said by the time
they were 26, they were prepared
to admit mums know best, while a
fifth said by the time they reached
their thirties, they had become a
younger version of their mums.

Seventy-five per cent said they
would make the effort to see their
mothers tomorrow on Mother’s
Day, but of those who cannot, 50
per cent will post a present and
two-thirds will send a card.
Laura Joseph, a Post Office
spokesperson, said: “It’s great to
see how much our mums and the
special women in our lives mean,
even though we probably should
have listened to them more.”

IN DEPTH

Cornwall’s
electric
gold rush
Deposits of lithium – a key component
for batteries – are sparking a second
mining boom, reports David Parsley

T

he second great
Cornish metals rush
has begun. Two-anda-half decades after
the closure of its last
tin mine, the mineral-rich county
could be on the verge of becoming a
global player in the undersupplied
metals market again.
This time, it’s not just tin which
will be mined. As well as copper
and tungsten, Cornwall is hoping to
become Europe’s major provider of
lithium, the metal used in batteries
that power technology products
from phones to electric cars.
By 2030, it is expected that
Cornwall will be producing enough
lithium to provide more than a third

of the UK’s estimated requirement,
just in time for the planned end of
fossil-fuel vehicle production.
Five companies are leading the
charge on the peninsular. One of
them is Cornish Lithium, which
by 2026 hopes to begin extracting
around 10,000 tons of the metal
each year.
“Back in the 19th century,
miners started encountering
very, very hot water coming into
the mine,” says Cornish Lithium’s
founder, Jeremy Wrathall. “It was
salty and they didn’t know why
because it was so far from the sea,
right in the middle of Cornwall.
“They had it analysed by
Professor William Miller of King’s

Industrial revolution Global demand soars
Mining bosses have called on the
Government to get behind the
metals rush in Cornwall with a
“solid plan” to ensure the entire
UK benefits from the millions of
tons of lithium and tin set to be
produced in the county.
The companies behind the raft of
mining projects have claimed that
they will be forced to export their
output unless the Government
invests in electric vehicle
gigafactories and other
technology production.
Jeremy Wrathall, the
chief executive and
founder of Cornish
Lithium, told i: “We
have the lithium
needed for electric
vehicle batteries
right here in Cornwall.
We have the resources to
supply gigafactories in the UK.
We just need the gigafactories to
supply it to.”
US President Joe Biden’s
Inflation Reduction Act
committed billions of dollars to
the production and sourcing of
critical metals to reduce the US’s
reliance on imports from China.
The European Union has a critical
minerals strategy and Mr Biden
met the European Commission’s
president, Ursula von der Leyen,
earlier this month to agree a deal
to co-ordinate their supplies of
vital metals.
Mr Wrathall said: “We will still
produce the lithium and sell it

to Europe if we’re unable to sell
it here, but we want to play a big
role in helping the UK reduce its
reliance on imports. We need
the Government to invest and
help the UK meet the challenge of
climate change.”
The chief executive of Cornish
Tin, Sally Norcross-Webb (inset),
said: “We need real government
support. Actions, not words,
to facilitate the setting up of
battery storage, vehicle
manufacture, all
the supply chain
businesses that are
needed to make
Cornwall a real force
for the future and
a county that can
actively participate in
and make successful the
next industrial revolution.”
A Government spokesman
said last night: “Our Critical
Minerals Strategy and Critical
Minerals Refresh set out how
the Government is boosting the
security of supply of critical
minerals for UK businesses.
“From the tip of Cornwall to
the Scottish Highlands, we are
creating the right conditions for
critical mineral businesses to
grow by offering financial support,
“With critical minerals used in
everything from mobile phones
to wind turbines, making sure UK
industries can always access these
materials is hugely important.”
David Parsley

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

15

News in brief
SCIENCE

Researchers reverse
blindness in mice
The three blind mice have had their
vision restored by scientists in a
breakthrough that could reverse
the condition in people.
Hereditary retinitis pigmentosa,
a common cause of blindness,
affects one in 4,000 people.
Researchers in China used
a genome-editing technique to
correct a mutation that leads to the
condition in both mice and humans.
Not only did the correction lead
to the mice regaining their sight –
but they were even shown to retain
their vision well into old age.
The study was published in the
Journal of Experimental Medicine.

MUSIC

Posthumous Coolio
LP to be released

Tin mining is set
to recommence
at the South
Crofty mine near
Redruth in 2026

College, London, in 1864, and he
was the first to discover lithium
in Cornwall. So, it has been down
there for a long time.”
Mr Wrathall, who gained more
than 30 years of experience in the
mining finance industry before
launching his own exploration
company, is confident that
Cornish Lithium’s two sites in the
county will play a major role in
helping to make the UK a critical
metals powerhouse.
“Every ton that we can produce
in Cornwall is a ton less the UK has
to import and a ton less associated
carbon,” he said. “If [it’s coming] in
from China, that lithium is made
with fossil fuels and you’re shipping
it all the way over the ocean with
fossil fuels.”
In total, the government forecasts
that the UK will require around
80,000 tons of lithium a year by
2030, but almost 40 per cent of
that could be coming up from up to
2,000m under Cornwall.
British Lithium is hoping to be
able to produce 21,000 tons a year
using sustainable, chemical-free,
mining to produce battery-grade
lithium carbonate from the mica in
Cornish granite.
“We are delighted with the
support we’re getting from
local, national and international
stakeholders and are feeling very
positive about 2023 and all that lies
ahead,” says British Lithium’s chief
executive, Andrew Smith, who aims
to begin production toward the
end of 2025 at the company’s site at
Stenalees, near St Austell.
While lithium production may
be hitting the headlines, Cornwall
is, once again, also set to become a
world player in tin.
The existence of tin in Britain
can be traced back to 2000BC, but
mining for the metal in Cornwall did
not begin until around 1800BC. The
county soon became an important
producer of tin, which forms bronze
when mixed with copper.

During the Industrial Revolution,
the county established itself as a
global player in the industry and
remained so for much of the 20th
century. It was not until 1998 that
the final mine in Cornwall closed.
Cornish Tin is bringing mining
back to the Great Wheal Vor for the
first time in 150 years. The project
involves 26 former tin and copper
producing mines in Breage. In 1929,
the mining historian AK Hamilton
Jenkin described the mines as
“probably the richest tin mine
which has ever been worked in the
world”, and Cornish Tin’s chief
executive, Sally Norcross-Webb, is
planning to make the site globally
significant once again.
“This is very high-grade tin with
historic production grades of over
5.5 per cent tin. Even assuming a
current production grade of only
2 per cent tin, this would be one of
the top three tin mines by grade in
the world today,” she said, adding
that the group was using “the best

People can earn much
more than the average
salary. It will bring
a boost to Cornwall
available technologies” as part of
a commitment to green mining.
With tin used in the soldering of
circuit boards in almost every tech
product around, the Massachusetts
Institute of Technology in the US
has predicted a fourfold increase in
demand for the metal by 2040 as the
electric vehicle and energy storage
revolution really takes hold.
“We will be producing clean tin
and providing a domestic supply for
UK industry of a critical mineral,”
Ms Norcross-Webb said.
“When we are in full production,
we will employ between 150 and
200 people, and for every direct job

The Cornish metal rush
1
2

DEVON

Trebarwith
Port Strand
Daymer Isaac
Beach

3

Bodmin
Moor 6

Padstow

4

Newquay

4

5

Carnglaze
Caverns

CORNWALL
2
Penzance

0

8
Miles

1

Eden
Project

Liskeard
Deerpark
Polperro

3
Falmouth

5
6

in the mining sector, there are four
indirect jobs created.”
It is forecast that the mining
industry will bring up to 10,000 new
jobs into Cornwall, where salaries
are lower than the UK average and
a high proportion of people work in
the seasonal tourism industry.
Dennis Rowland, the project
manager at Cornwall Resources,
said: “People can earn very well,
much higher than the average
salary. You hire local, train local
and mining will bring a boost
to Cornwall.”
Cornwall Resources operates
the Redmoor tin-tungsten-copper
project, based in Kelly Bray, near the
Devon border. The firm is seeking
funding for a feasibility study for the
project, which will include further
exploration drilling and studies,
and culminate in an economic
model justifying the establishment
of a new, underground metal mine
in Cornwall.
“The scoping study that we
produced in 2020 showed there are
globally significant levels of metal,”
said Mr Rowland.
That last operating mine to close
in Cornwall was in South Crofty
near Redruth, but its abeyance may
not last much longer. Canadianbased Cornish Metals, one of the
largest mining companies operating
in the county, is hoping it can return
to full production in 2026 and that
the fourth-largest tin deposit in the
world could produce up to 5,000
tons of the metal a year.
As well as a plentiful supply of tin,
the site also offers potential for the
mining of copper, lithium, tungsten,
zinc and silver.
While there has been some local
opposition to the projects, the
companies claim the overwhelming
support of Cornish residents.
The county is well known for its
great views – but these businesses
believe that what lies beneath its
hills can provide a much-needed
economic boost for locals too.

The estate of the US rapper Coolio
plans to release a studio album later
this year that the Grammy-winning
star was working on in the days
before he died.
Long Live Coolio will be the
posthumous album and the first
single, “TAG ‘You It,’” was released
yesterday featuring Too $hort and
DJ Wino.
The raunchy single’s video, which
begins with Coolio and Too $hort
in a boxing ring as women gyrate,
was the last piece of visual content
Coolio (below) appeared in before
his death from cardiac arrest on 28
September 2022 at the age of 59.

SOCIAL MEDIA

Trump’s YouTube
restrictions lifted
YouTube has lifted restrictions
on Donald Trump’s channel, after
suspending it for more than two
years following the deadly riot at the
US Capitol in 2021.
He now has access to key
vehicles for fundraising and can
reach 146 million followers across
three platforms as he runs for the
presidency in 2024.
“We carefully evaluated the
continued risk of real-world violence,
while balancing the chance for voters
to hear equally from major national
candidates,” YouTube said. Meta has
reinstated Mr Trump’s Facebook
and Instagram accounts. His Twitter
account was restored in November.

V1

16

NEWS

MOLDOVA

Russia denies plot to destabilise Ukraine neighbour
By Emma Reynolds

Moldova’s President, Maia Sandu,
said yesterday that Russia would
continue trying to destabilise the
country “from within” after a secret
plan by Moscow to thwart Moldova’s
tilt to the West was uncovered.
The document by Russia’s security
service, the FSB, detailed a 10-year
plan to bolster pro-Russian groups,
mobilise the Orthodox Church and

cut off natural gas supplies.
“As long as I am president,
Moldova will hold out,”
Ms Sandu (inset) said
as she praised law enforcement agencies for
blocking attempts to
sow chaos.
“There is no danger of
war coming to Moldova
while Ukraine is fighting.”
Russia denied accusations it is

trying to destabilise Moldova, a
country of 2.6 million people
wedged between Ukraine
and Romania.
Moscow has troops
based in Moldova’s
breakaway Transnistria
region and Moldovan
authorities have arrested alleged pro-Russian
activists who they said were
trying to enter the country.

Child soldiers
Military cadets in the Black Sea city
of Yalta take part in a parade to mark
the ninth anniversary of Moscow’s
annexation of Ukraine’s Crimean
peninsula with a banner showing
Vladimir Putin and the slogan: “Russia
doesn’t start wars, it ends them.” AP

RUSSIA

Arrest warrant
issued for Putin
over ‘war crimes’
against children
By Victoria Craw
DEPUTY FOREIGN EDITOR

The International Criminal Court
(ICC) issued an arrest warrant for
Vladimir Putin yesterday, accusing
the Russian President of carrying
out war crimes through the deportation and unlawful transfer of children from Ukraine to Russia.
It is the first time that the leader
of a United Nations Security Council
member has had an arrest warrant
issued against them.
Separately, the court issued a warrant for Maria Lvova-Belova (inset),
Russia’s commissioner for children’s
rights, on the same charges.
The ICC said that the crimes were
allegedly carried out in occupied
Ukrainian territory and there were
“reasonable grounds to believe that
Mr Putin bears individual criminal
responsibility” for either having
committed them directly or through
others, or failing to control those
who committed the acts.

Ms Lvova-Belova has previously
featured in social media videos of
children arriving in Russia and
has herself adopted a 15-year-old
Ukrainian boy from Mariupol.
The ICC president, Piotr Hofmanski, said: “It is forbidden by
international law to transfer civilians from the territory they live
in to other territories. Children
enjoy special protection under the
Geneva Convention.”
He said the contents of the warrants would remain secret in order
to protect the victims. However, the
judges decided to make the “existence of the warrants public in the interests of justice and to prevent the
commission of future crimes”.
But he also acknowledged the difficulties of enforcing the warrant,
saying: “The execution depends on
international co-operation.”
The Kremlin has repeatedly denied accusations that its forces have
committed atrocities in Ukraine.
Yesterday, Mr Putin’s official spokes-

V1

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

UKRAINE

Russia parades
new model city in
occupied Mariupol
Construction has been accompanied by
broad ‘Russification’. By Kieron Monks

A

man, Dmitry Peskov, reiterated that
Russia did not recognise the ICC and
considered it to be “legally void”.
In his nightly video address
Ukrainian President Volodymyr
Zelensky hailed the move and
blamed Mr Putin for the deportation
of thousands of Ukrainian children.
“This is an historic decision which
will lead to historic accountability,”
he said.
The deportations constituted a
policy of “state evil which starts
precisely with the top official of this
state”, he added.
“It would have been impossible to enact such a
criminal operation without the say-so of the
man at the helm of the
terrorist state.”
The Ukrainian foreign
minister, Dmytro Kuleba,
said that the “wheels of
justice are turning”, adding:
“International criminals will be held
accountable for stealing children
and other international crimes.”
Ukraine estimates that 744,000
children have been taken to Russian
territory since the war broke out, according to Russian open source data.
The ICC prosecutor
Karim Khan opened an
investigation into possible war
crimes, crimes against humanity
and genocide in Ukraine a year
ago, focusing on alleged crimes
against children and the targeting
of civilian infrastructure.

Belarus cracks down on
trivial dissent gestures
Belarusian opposition activists have
reported coming under increased
scrutiny for activities such as liking
social media posts, as the war in
Ukraine stretches into a second year.
Sergei Melyanets, who was
arrested in a crackdown on protests
in 2020 after President Alexander
Lukashenko won the election, said
he recently found plain-clothed
officers from the state security
committee (KGB) at
his home.
He said he received
a fine for having red
and white blinds in his
bedroom – the colours
of protests against
the government.
Human Rights Watch
said that repressive measures
in the country, which is the main
ally of Moscow, have become “less
visible” since 2020, with people being
arrested and, in some cases, jailed
for trivial acts such as following a
Telegram channel or liking a post.
A Belarusian human rights
organisation Viasna said this had
become worse since the war in
Ukraine began more than a year ago.
It claimed at least 1,575
Belarusians had been detained for
their anti-war stance in the past
year, and 56 have been convicted
on various charges and sentenced
to prison terms ranging from 12
months to 23 years.
Taz Ali

few weeks after the
last Ukrainian soldiers
left Mariupol last May,
Russian construction
crews moved in. “A
wonderful Russian resort city
will emerge here,” promised the
newly-appointed mayor, Konstantin
Ivaschenko, as work began.
Mariupol, on Ukraine’s southern
coast, has seen some of the most
brutal fighting of the war. Tens of
thousands of civilians were killed
and 90 per cent of buildings were
damaged as Russian forces laid
siege to it last spring, says Ukraine.
The city is now home to a new
district featuring colourful, modern
apartment blocks with playgrounds.
New schools and hospitals have
sprung up from the rubble. These
additions, triumphantly paraded on
Russian TV, are just a taste of the
Kremlin’s vision for the city.
A leaked masterplan from
Russia’s state planning department
revealed a target for 875 hectares of
housing by 2035.
Mariupol’s port is to be rebuilt.
The Azovstal steel plant – scene of
the Azov Battalion’s last stand – will
become a technology park.
The wave of construction has
been accompanied by sweeping
‘“Russification”. Mariupol is now
part of the Moscow time zone, uses
Russian currency and receives
Russian TV channels. Residents
require Russian passports to
receive their pensions. Signs
of Ukrainian identity are being
systematically erased.
The blueprint for Mariupol
is similar to that of a typical,
modern Russian city, says Dr Oleg
Golubchikov, a Moscow-educated
urban planning specialist at
Cardiff University.
“There is a big programme
of making cities in Russia
‘comfortable and liveable’ and I
see principles of that here,” he
says. “It’s about combining living
conditions and social infrastructure
– wherever you are building

homes you need kindergartens,
schools, shops.”
Owen Hatherley, a journalist and
author specialising in the history
and architecture of ex-Soviet Union
countries, suggests Mariupol’s
reinvention is inspired by Catherine
the Great. Rebuilding is focused on
“city centre splendour”, he says,
in line with the wider mission of
“recreating great imperial Russia”.
Much of this is done with an
eye on domestic consumption,
he believes, reinforcing the idea
Russia is bringing civilisation to a
backwater devoid of its own identity.
Russia is maintaining a tradition
of seeking to make examples
of conquered cities. After the
destruction of the second Chechen
War, Moscow poured resources into
the reconstruction of the capital
city, Grozny, building skyscrapers
on top of the ruins. The Chechen
uprising was pacified. But Russia’s
record in occupied Ukrainian cities
suggests this will not be repeated.
“Cities that have been part of the
Donetsk pseudo-republics have
been devastated over the past eight
years in terms of wages and living
standards,” says Mr Hatherley.
“They have been disproportionately
conscripted with huge numbers
flung into the gunfire.”
Russia has benefitted from the
location of Mariupol, out of Himars
rocket range and relatively removed
from fighting, to implement its
masterplan. But the city’s previous
owners are preparing their own
plans. Mariupol City Council –
now based in Lviv – is preparing a
scheme in partnership with other
local authorities, business leaders
and international supporters with
a focus on humanitarian issues and
public services.
Vadym Boychenko, Mariupol’s
mayor in exile, said earlier this
month: “We believe in our armed
forces and the inevitability of
Ukraine’s victory.”
For Russia to lose its model city
would be a humiliation.

Newly-built apartment blocks in Mariupol ALEXANDER ERMOCHENKO/REUTERS

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

17

News in brief
CHINA

Xi heads to Moscow
in coup for Kremlin
China’s President, Xi Jinping, will
visit Russia next week, just as
relations between Moscow and
Washington hit a new low.
It is a coup for Russian President,
Vladimir Putin, whose country has
been put under unprecedented
international sanctions after it
invaded Ukraine last year.
Beijing and Moscow struck a
“no limits” partnership before the
invasion and US and European
leaders fear Beijing may send arms
to Russia. China has denied any
such plan. Russia said Mr Xi and Mr
Putin would discuss the conflict and
“military-technical cooperation”.

TURKEY

Erdogan backs
Finland’s Nato bid
Turkey’s President, Recep Tayyip
Erdogan, said yesterday that his
government would move forward
with ratifying Finland’s Nato
application, paving the way for the
country to join the military bloc
ahead of Sweden.
The breakthrough came as he
met his Finnish counterpart, Sauli
Niinistö (above left) in Ankara.
Both Finland and Sweden applied
to join Nato in the wake of Russia’s
invasion of Ukraine, abandoning
decades of nonalignment.
Nato requires the unanimous
approval of its 30 members to
expand. REUTERS

MILITARY

Pilots rewarded for
drone downing
The Russian defence minister,
General Sergei Shoigu, presented
awards to the pilots of two Su-27
fighter planes that intercepted a US
drone over Ukraine, his ministry
said yesterday.
The drone crashed into the
Black Sea on Tuesday after being
intercepted by Russian jets.
Announcing the awards,
the ministry said: “The MQ-9
unmanned aerial vehicle went into
uncontrolled flight with a loss of
altitude and collided with the water
surface.” It said the drone had been
flying with its transponders off and
violating airspace restrictions that
Russia had made public. REUTERS

18

NEWS

RUSSIA

Wagner mercenary prison recruits
pay a bloody price for their freedom
By Filipp Lebedev and Felix Light

In October last year, a Russian news
site published a short video of Yevgeny Prigozhin, founder of the Wagner
Group Russian mercenary army, sitting with four men on a rooftop ter-

race in the resort town of Gelendzhik
on Russia’s Black Sea coast. Two are
missing parts of a leg. A third has
lost an arm. They are identified as
pardoned former convicts, returned
from the front in Ukraine after joining Wagner from prison.

“You were an offender, now you’re
a war hero,” Prigozhin tells one man
in the clip – the first video to depict
the return of some of the thousands
of convicts who joined Wagner in
return for the promise of a pardon if
they survived six months of war.

Reuters used facial recognition
software to examine more than a
dozen videos and photographs of
homecoming convict fighters, published between October 2022 and
February 2023. Reporters identified
more than 30 of the men by crosschecking the images with social
media and Russian court documents.
In their ranks are murderers,
thieves and a self-declared “Satanist”. Several are in hospital recovering from war wounds.
Four said they were personally
recruited by Prigozhin as he toured
Russia’s prison system to bolster his
private army. Some were deployed
to Ukraine’s eastern Bakhmut region, site of some of the most intense
fighting, where one man described
the “utter hell” of the battlefield.
A former Wagner commander
who fled to Norway in January

It takes time to learn
combat basics – a couple of
weeks alone isn’t going to
do that much for you
has said he witnessed members of
Wagner’s internal security administering brutal treatment to prisoner recruits, including executions
for desertion.
Combat training, some conducted
by veterans of Russia’s special forces,
was short but intensive, according to
the men. Ukrainian and Western officials say Wagner is sending poorly
prepared fighters to certain death.
Mike Kofman, an expert in the
Russian military at the CNA thinktank based in Virginia, said the two to
three weeks of training received by
the convict recruits would be unlikely to bring them up to speed, even if
some had prior military experience.
“It takes time to learn combat basics, receive individual training, and
you also need some collective training as a unit on top of it – a couple
of weeks alone isn’t going to do that

Yevgeny Prigozhin toured prisons
to bolster his army with recruits who
include murderers and thieves

much for you,” Mr Kofman said.
A more rigorous training scheme
would last several months.
All five ex-prisoners expressed
a fierce loyalty to Prigozhin for giving them a second chance at life. In a
brief statement, Prigozhin dismissed
Reuters’ questions as “crazy”.
He has previously described Wagner as “probably the most experienced army that exists in the world
today” and said its casualty rate is
comparable to other Russian units.
When Prigozhin began touring
Russia’s sprawling penal system in
summer 2022 offering pardons to
those who agreed to fight in Ukraine,
word quickly spread among prisoners. Rustam Borovkov, from the
small town of Porkhov, near Russia’s
border with Estonia, was one of the
four men filmed on the rooftop.
Court records show that the
31-year-old was six years into a 13year term for manslaughter and
theft when Prigozhin reached his
prison, Penal Colony No 6 in the
western Pskov region. “I knew right
away that I would go, even before he
came to us,” he said.
Borovkov said training was conducted by former members of Russia’s special forces.
He added: “Everything was organised at the highest level. It wasn’t
that they gave me a gun, showed me
how to shoot and that’s it. No, they
explained everything in great detail.
Mining, demining, tactics, shooting,
training. Everything.” REUTERS

SOCIAL MEDIA

New Zealand bans TikTok
on parliamentary network
By Lucy Craymer

New Zealand said yesterday that it
would ban TikTok on devices with
access to the country’s parliamentary network because of security
concerns, becoming the latest nation
to limit the use of the video-sharing
app on government-related devices.
Concerns have mounted globally about the potential for the Chinese government to access users’
location and contact data through
ByteDance, TikTok’s Chinese
parent company.
This week in the US the Joe Biden
administration demanded TikTok’s
Chinese owners divest their stakes

or the app could face a US ban. In
New Zealand, TikTok will be banned
on all devices with access to parliament’s network by the end of March.
Rafael Gonzalez-Montero, chief
executive of the parliamentary service, said advice was taken from cybersecurity experts and discussions
were held within government and
with other countries.
“Based on this information, the
service has determined that the
risks are not acceptable,” he said.
Special arrangements can be
made for those who require the app
to do their jobs, he added.
ByteDance did not immediately
respond to a request for comment.

NEWS
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SATURDAY 18
MARCH 2023

19

FOCUS

Children’s teeth go back to 1940s
Lack of access to NHS care is putting young patients at risk of tooth decay and loss. By Serina Sandhu
Costly option Parents
told to go private

I

t’s not unusual for Laura
Marsham to see a child having
10 teeth extracted during her
Saturday morning hospital
shift. “It’s shocking really,” says
the dental nurse. “Half of their teeth
are coming out.”
These are the early signs of a
crisis in children’s dental health
that experts are predicting will
mean an unexpected comeback for
dentures and is already leading to
a cohort of pupils losing sleep and
time in school because of the pain of
tooth decay.
Ms Marsham has noticed a rise
in the problem since the pandemic.
She says the solution is check-ups
every six months, adding: “If you
leave it until you’ve got a problem,
nine times out of 10, the tooth’s gone.
It needs to be taken out.”
But children cannot easily get an
NHS appointment, let alone see a
dentist every six months unless, as
i has learned, their parents pay for
private treatment for themselves as
a quid pro quo.
In the 12 months to June 2022,
46.2 per cent of children in England
saw a dentist, down from 52.7
per cent before the pandemic,
according to NHS statistics. Part

The tragedy is that the
most vulnerable in
our community will
be most affected

of the problem with booking dental
appointments is the backlog created
by the pandemic.
But critics claim that the root
of the issue is a deeply flawed,
unworkable and inflexible NHS
contract system, which dentists
say does not adequately fund them
for the work they do. They are
voting with their feet and going
private on a scale described to i as a
“haemorrhage” of experienced staff.
And patients who cannot afford to
follow them then miss out.
“We haven’t got picket lines of
dentists around the country. What
we have got is a workforce that is
changing the way that they deliver
services to the population,” says
Eddie Crouch, the chairman of
the principal executive committee
at the British Dental Association.
It recently revealed that half of
dentists had cut back on NHS work.
Mr Crouch says: “Perhaps the
comparator would be the pre-NHS
days. From 1948, the early years
[were] dealing with large numbers
of patients needing extractions and
dentures. It was the reason dental
charges were introduced to try to
stifle demand.”
Only 20 per cent of NHS dental
practices are taking on new child
patients, according to data from
last August published by the BBC.
Meanwhile, government figures
show that tooth decay remains
the most common reason for
hospital admissions in children
aged six to 10, with more than
25,000 children having decaying

teeth removed in hospital last year.
But the need for dental care is
greater than ever. The pandemic
meant that 38 million hours of
dental appointments were missed.
Meanwhile, the sudden explosion
in home schooling also meant
easy access to unhealthy diets,
worsening children’s oral health.
Children come to dentists with
much more advanced dental
problems than before the pandemic
because the ability to deliver
prevention and stop the tooth
decaying has been lost, according
to Mr Crouch.
He adds: “Children are turning
up with problems that are too
advanced to do anything to change
the teeth. There is a cohort of
children out there who are losing
time from school, they’re losing
sleep [because of the pain].”
The UK had been getting to
the point where false teeth were
often not needed in old age. But Mr
Crouch says that progress could

Jenny Harris says ‘urgent action’ on
child dental care is needed GETTY

be about to go into reverse, with a
return to pre-NHS standards.
“Many younger members of
the population may end up going
backwards in losing teeth and
having to wear dentures like their
grandparents decades ago,” he says.
In January 2022, the Government
announced £50m of funding for
urgent dental appointments for
the most vulnerable, including
children. But the British Society
of Paediatric Dentistry says that
the “current NHS dental contract
is not fit-for-purpose and needs
urgent reform”.
The society’s president, Jenny
Harris, says: “It does not work for
children or paediatric dentistry
– nor support prevention. We are
witnessing dentists handing back
their NHS contracts in what appear
to be record numbers.
“Urgent action is needed to stem
the haemorrhage of experienced
teams who have the expertise to
care for these children.
“The tragedy is that the most
vulnerable in our community will
be most affected. We know that
children from lower socioeconomic
groups are more likely to
experience dental decay and
more likely to report difficulty in
accessing care.”
The Department of Health and
Social Care says that the number
of children seen by NHS dentists
increased by 43.6 per cent in the
past year and it is “investing more
than £3bn a year in dentistry for all
NHS patients”.

The lack of access to NHS dental
appointments is leaving parents
with tough – and expensive –
choices, research shows.
According to recent evidence
submitted to the Health and
Social Care Committee’s
ongoing inquiry into the
NHS dentistry crisis, some
children are only being offered
appointments if their parents
are prepared to pay for private
treatment for themselves.
Evidence from the patients’
group Healthwatch revealed
some parents found their
children cut off from NHS care.
One parent said: “I have been
trying to obtain an NHS dentist
for my 10-year-old daughter,
myself and my husband. One
dentist said they could add us to
a list that had a three-year wait
for an appointment.
“Another told me that the only
way that my daughter could
be seen would be if myself and
my husband took a private
place at a cost of £75 for an
initial consultation.
“This is disgraceful and
holding people to ransom for
their children to be able to
access basic dental treatment.”
Children under the age of 18
in England are entitled to free
NHS dental care, while adults
pay charges between £23.80
and £282.80 depending on their
treatment. Private care can be
substantially more expensive,
with a new patient consultation
costing anywhere from £20 to
£120, compared to a flat fee of
£23.80 on the NHS.
Eddie Crouch, of the British
Dental Association, described
“manipulating parents into
going private” as “unethical”. The
NHS dental contract system, he
said, needed to be ripped up to
make way for vast reform.
He warned that without
action there might have
to be “open and honest”
conversations with the public
about what they can expect in
terms of dental care in future.

Under-18s in England are
entitled to free NHS dental care

20

NEWS

Another
View
Ian
Dunt

Moral panic
on laughing
gas is about
to blow up

L

et’s talk about laughing
gas. It’s the latest drug
scare. Day after day the
stories roll in. “Hippy
crack is ‘more dangerous
than cocaine’, neurologist warns,”
says the Daily Mail. “Laughing
gas users risk spine damage, say
doctors,” says the BBC. “Young
people taking ‘150 nitrous oxide
balloons a day’,” says Metro.
This is the pattern which the
war on drugs always follows: media
scare stories, followed by a push
for government action, followed by
prohibition, followed by the retreat
of the drug onto the black market,
where people still use it, but in an
unregulated context and with all

of the profits flowing to criminal
gangs. And that appeared to be the
pattern which would play out here,
with laughing gas, or nitrous oxide.
The Home Secretary
commissioned the Advisory Council
on the Misuse of Drugs to update
its assessment of the substance
in October 2021, then again last
month to look at connections
with antisocial behaviour, the
environment and crime.
It has never once worked before
of course, but hey, the war on drugs
is nothing if not optimistic. Despite
more than a century of policy
failure, its adherents always believe
that a drug-free world is just around
the corner, as long as they lock up
enough young people.
The trouble is, the advisory
council didn’t play ball. It did
not deliver the result the Home
Secretary and the newspapers
were clearly hoping for. It set up a
dedicated working group involving
experts from academia, clinical
neurology, law enforcement and
charities and approached the
subject on an evidence-led basis.
What it found was that laughing
gas is a largely harmless and
mild intoxicant. It makes people
feel slightly euphoric and giggly
for about a minute, probably
due to inhibition of excitatory
glutamatergic neurotransmission.
It’s not completely harmless, not
by a long shot. There are deaths,
although the stats on these include
the use of the substance in medical

A recent assessment found nitrous
oxide to be largely harmless

settings, where it is used as an
anaesthetic and analgesic.
Even then though, the numbers
remain tiny. The highest number
of annual deaths was eight, in both
2016 and 2019. In 2020 there were
three. These deaths are because of
secondary effects rather than the
gas itself – typically asphyxiation.
Very heavy use of the gas can
lead to neurological disorder by
damaging the tracts of the spinal
cord and peripheral nerves through
the inactivation of vitamin B12.
It is potentially serious, but can
be treated if recognised early by
stopping use of the gas and taking
vitamin supplements. Case studies
showed that some of those suffering
from it were using 200 or more
cartridges per day.

What about societal harm? That
is also low to non-existent. There
is no evidence of people becoming
more aggressive or violent.
There is no evidence of criminal
networks in the distribution of
the drug – although the European
Crime Prevention Network has
warned that there could be if we
ban it. There is no evidence of links
between use of the drug and crime.
There is no evidence of a link with
antisocial behaviour.
There is, of course, the litter. You
will probably have seen the metallic
canisters used to take the drug in
any town park. The canisters are
a wasteful nuisance, but even that
is overblown.
In terms of emissions, nitrous
oxide use in medical or veterinary
settings far exceeds that of drug
users, by around 150 times.
Taken together, that evidence
led the advisory council to the
only possible rational answer.
“Current evidence suggests that
the health and social harms are not
commensurate with control under
the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971,”
it concluded.
Doing so would impose criminal
prosecutions on young people
which would be “disproportionate
for the level of harm associated
with nitrous oxide and could
have significant unintended
consequences”. It would also
impose “significant burdens for
legitimate medical, industrial,
commercial and academic uses”.

For more than 100
years, we have
followed the same
pattern of hysteria
Instead, there should be
restrictions on consumer sales,
information campaigns to young
people which avoid sensationalising
or exaggerating the dangers and
health information on packaging.
So now the ball is back in the
Home Secretary’s side of the court.
Does she respond in an evidencedbased way, thinking about the lives
of young people which would be
pointlessly ruined by the criminal
prosecutions imposed on them in
the case of outright prohibition?
Or does she follow the press scare
campaign and launch a crackdown?
Unfortunately, the Home
Secretary is Suella Braverman, so
we have little reason to be confident
in her judgement. But then, even far
superior home secretaries would
have done the same. For more than
100 years, we have followed the
same pattern of hysteria, legislation
and unintended consequence,
all while stuffing the pockets of
criminal gangs with gold and
reporting increases in drug use.
The war on drugs was the
original form of post-truth politics.
And there’s little sign yet that the
Government intends to prioritise
evidence over dogma.

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Welcome signs
point Essex man
in new direction

Will you still need me?
Anneka Rice takes on
new ‘Challenge’ at 64
CHANNEL 5

HHHHH
Not many celebrities are as
famous viewed from the back
as the front, but Anneka Rice
was arguably one of them.
First in Channel 4’s Treasure
Hunt in the 80s and then in the
BBC’s Challenge Anneka in the
early 90s, a cameraman would
pursue Rice as she leapt from
helicopters, raced across fields
and clambered up stairwells. Her
jumpsuited posterior was even
satirised by Spitting Image.
That was then, this is now –
and Channel 5’s resurrection
of Challenge Anneka, in which
the presenter is given three
days to complete an ambitious
challenge, is resorting to various
Pavlovian triggers to remind
us of former glories, from the
gimmicky helicopter ride to the
original signature music .
Rice is 64 now and there is less

21

PEOPLE

First Watch

Challenge Anneka

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

of the frantic running about that
characterised the original show.
It’s hard to imagine the Rice of 30
years ago joking that, “I’m going
to have a heart attack.”
Her first project was a caninerescue centre sure to appeal to
the same audience that adores
Paul O’Grady: For the Love of
Dogs. Rice’s challenge was to
instal new kennels, a grooming
room and agility playground. She
also revamped its website and
installed a hydrotherapy pool.
“I’m sure we can do something
to help,” said the wily owner of
Hot Tub Barn. And if we know the
name of this supplier, it is because
we were afforded a no-doubt quid
pro quo glimpse of his signage.
Challenge Anneka itself had
to face up to diminished brand
recognition, however. Offering
the programme title to one
supplier who had never heard
of it, Rice asked whether there
was someone older she might
speak to. That’s probably the

By Izzy Hawksworth

A man with autism is trying to have
his photo taken with every “Welcome
to Essex” sign on the county’s border
in an effort to boost his confidence.
Kireon Wicks, 20, has travelled
hundreds of miles to find the signs
and posed with 15 of them so far.
He became fascinated with the
signs after looking at a map and
spends weekends hunting them with
his mother, Emma Church, 36. They
have visited Manningtree, Dedham,
Long Melford, Haverhill, Cavendish,
Maggotts End and Buckhurt Hill.
Ms Church said her son (below)
lost his confidence last year when
someone at a local park told him he
had “no right to be here”.
She said: “This has got him talking to people again and trying
to interact.”
The gimmick of the helicopter ride to the challenge is still part of the furniture

demographic this reboot will
appeal to most.
Every attempt was made to
bother viewers’ tear-ducts, yet
the episode still didn’t quite
have the emotional clout of, say,

DIY:SOS. Justifying the revival’s
existence against such robust
opposition might be Anneka’s
biggest challenge yet.
Gerard Gilbert

NEWS

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SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

23

CULTURE

Coronation singer urges BBC to U-turn on cuts
Exclusive
By Adam Sherwin
ARTS AND MEDIA CORRESPONDENT

Roderick Williams, the renowned
baritone who will star at the King’s
coronation, has urged the decision
to axe the BBC Singers be reversed.
He said closing the UK’s only fulltime chamber choir and cutting BBC
orchestra numbers undermined the
“ethos” of the broadcaster.
However, Williams (inset) said he

did not support calls for musicians
to boycott BBC events, including the Proms, because it
would make it harder for
bosses to backtrack.
Politicians have condemned the move to axe
the Singers, at a cost of
24 jobs, one year shy of
the group’s centenary.
More than 125,000 people
have signed a petition to save
the ensemble, citing its commit-

ment to performing free concerts
and introducing choral singing
to children.
Williams, one of three
soloists who will perform
at Westminster Abbey,
and who was commissioned by the King to
write a composition, said:
“I would prefer [management] to come to an understanding that keeping the BBC
Singers and finding other ways to re-

duce the budget without drastic cuts
to their prize orchestras is actually
part of the ethos of the BBC.”
The BBC said the move would
allow it “to invest more widely in the
future of choral singing” in the UK
and launch a choral development
programme. It is cutting 20 per cent
of the BBC Philharmonic, Symphony
and Concert orchestra staff.
BBC Singers directors blamed a
“culture of fear and paranoia” at a
broadcaster still reeling from the

Gary Lineker tweets row. Shadow
arts minister Barbara Keeley called
it “cultural vandalism”.
Tory MP Anna Firth urged it to reconsider the “devastating decision”.
The BBC is discussing its plans
with the Musicians’ Union.
It said: “Whilst some may disagree
with the tough decisions we’ve had
to make in financially challenging
times, we have developed the classical strategy carefully and diligently.
We need to modernise.”

BUSINESS

MONARCHY

Ann Summers
boss Jacqueline
Gold dies aged 62

Harry ‘could not
afford to pay for
private security’

By Connie Dimsdale

The family of Jacqueline Gold, the
founder of the Ann Summers lingerie chain, paid tribute to her yesterday as “the most incredible woman”
following her death from breast cancer at the age of 62.
The businesswoman died on
Thursday night surrounded by her
relatives after “courageously battling stage four breast cancer for
seven years”, her sister Vanessa said.
Her family said they were “utterly
heartbroken” and described her as
“a trailblazer” and “a visionary”.
Ms Gold passed away just two
Chris Brook-Carter, the
chief executive of the
Retail Trust, described Ms Gold
as a “pioneer, friend and beacon
for the retail industry” who had
driven the agenda for diversity
and inclusion.

months after the death of her father,
David Gold, the joint chairman of
West Ham United Football Club.
The businessman was born into
poverty but ended up on the Sunday
Times Rich List, with a family fortune estimated at £460m in 2020.
He died on 4 January after a short
illness, aged 86.
Ms Gold’s family announced her
death with “unspeakable sadness”,
saying she “passed away with her
husband Dan, daughter Scarlett,
sister Vanessa and brother-in-law
Nick by her side”.
Vanessa Gold said: “Jacqueline
was an absolute warrior throughout
her cancer journey.
“In life she was a trailblazer, a
visionary and the most incredible woman. As a family, we are utterly heartbroken at the loss of our
wife, mum, sister and best friend.”
A spokesman for West Ham United said everyone at the club was
“deeply shocked and saddened” by
her death.

By Euan O’Byrne Mulligan

Jacqueline Gold grew the business into a success KIRSTY WIGGLESWORTH/PA

The business tycoon and Dragons’
Den judge Theo Paphitis wrote online: “So sorry to hear of the passing
of Jacqueline Gold. She was a lovely
lady and it was an honour to have
known her.”
Ms Gold was appointed CBE in
2016 for her services to entrepreneurship, women in business and
social enterprise. The first Ann
Summers store opened in 1970 as

a sex shop before it was bought by
brothers Ralph and David Gold.
Ms Gold joined the business when
she was 19 and remoulded it into a
female-friendly, sex-positive chain
specialising in sex toys and lingerie.
She became its chief executive in
1987, transforming the firm into a
multimillion-pound business which
now has 81 shops in the UK, Ireland
and the Channel Islands.

The Duke of Sussex argued that he
and his wife, Meghan, could not afford to pay for security until they
were able to earn their own money,
court documents have revealed.
The message was disclosed as
part of his libel claim against Associated Newspapers Limited – which
owns the Mail on Sunday – after the
paper alleged that he had made no
offer to pay for his security before he
issued legal proceedings against the
Home Office.
The Daily Telegraph reported
that the Duke sent an email to the
Queen’s private secretary, Sir Edward Young, in April 2020 in which
he made it clear “we couldn’t afford
private security until we were able to
earn”.It claimed Harry had tried to
keep secret details of his legal fight
with the Government over his publicly funded protection – which was
withdrawn in 2020.
The Mail claimed his aides told
journalists that he was being denied
the right to pay for his bodyguards.
The High Court ruled in July that
the Mail report was defamatory.

i

Charlene White on shock date with sister p29 l Patrick Cockburn on Ukraine-Iraq war parallels p30

opinion
GUEST COLUMNIST – DAN WALKER

There’s one treachery I can
never forgive Mum for

D

“

ad, what will it be like
sharing your birthday
with Mother’s Day? Do
we bring you breakfast
in bed or mum?”
This was one of the
questions our kids were posing this
week. I obviously made a dad joke about
my birthday being the most important
day of the year, but reminded them that
it was essential that they made the day
special for their mum.
Mother’s Day, or Mothering Sunday
as my Auntie Gillian used to call it,
is a movable feast. Christmas Day,
Halloween and Valentine’s Day are far
more stubborn, but the day we choose
to focus on the mums changes every
year in the UK calendar.
It tends to fall on the fourth Sunday
of Lent, three Sundays before Easter.
I did a little research and apparently it
is rooted in the Middle Ages tradition
of children who worked in domestic
service being allowed to go back to their
“mother” church for the weekend.
As with many of these celebratory
occasions, there is an American
influence. A woman called Anna
Jarvis (the daughter of an activist who
organised treatment for wounded
soldiers during the American Civil
War), campaigned for a day to honour
the role played by mothers. At the birth
of the 20th century, she opted for the
second Sunday in May and, by 1911,
every state in the US had signed up.
In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson
declared it a national holiday.
In some countries it is rooted
in religion, others base the date
around the seasons, while in Russia
and among certain communities in
Afghanistan, the maternal love is tied

in to International Women’s Day on
8 March. The vast majority of countries
follow the US example (so the day
falls on 14 May this year) but here, we
are celebrating it this weekend… on
my birthday.
In the Walker household growing up,
my dad, who is lovely by the way, put
Mother’s Day in very much the same
bracket as Valentine’s Day. He would
always say that we didn’t need a specific
day to celebrate and appreciate mum…
we did it every day! While my dad still
steadfastly holds to that principle, our
kids have been encouraged to embrace
it a little more.
I am one of four children and I do
remember that we used to take mum
a fairly average cup of tea and some
limp toast on the morning of Mother’s

Day. I have visions of our rather bouncy
Labrador, Honey, trying to demolish the
toast, dribbling profusely and jumping
all over the bed like a lunatic.
We have friends now who are very
strict about how they observe Mother’s
and Father’s Day. The person who
is being celebrated is not allowed to
lift a finger: no cooking, no cleaning –
everything is done for them. That might
be difficult to implement in our house
this weekend as we have the birthday/
Mother’s Day clash.
I won’t tell you what the kids and I
have got for my wife, because I’m pretty
sure she will read this article and that
would ruin it.
If you’re interested in what I might
get for my birthday, I asked for some
new shaving foam, anything to do

I can still
see the
Millennium
Falcon she
inexplicably
swapped for
a Sindy car

with golf and I’ve been dropping
some enormous hints about a pair of
Stormtrooper bookends that I have
been admiring for months.
In terms of my mum, thankfully
I have two magnificently efficient
sisters who love making lists. I have
never seen so much devotion to the
power of the list. My little sister has
been known to ask me about potential
Christmas presents in March and
the older one will normally send out a
full Excel spreadsheet months ahead of
a family gathering. With organisational
powers like that, they tend to take
control of Mother’s Day present buying.
So mum, if you’re sat reading this
with a lovely bunch of flowers and some
chocolates next to you, if I’m being
honest, I do love you… but you have
your daughters to thank for that.
My mum has spent her life looking
after other people. Being Welsh, she
has always been amazing at making
sacrifices and working her backside
off. The only thing I have ever held
against her is that she once gave away
my prized possession. If I close my
eyes, I can still see the mint-condition
Millennium Falcon which, for some
inexplicable reason, she swapped for
a “Sindy car” for one of my sisters. It
broke me. I got my own back by taking
the bright yellow wagon into the garden
and painting it in camouflage colours,
but it was a deep burn.
Despite that, the fact that it’s my
birthday, and that I really would love
the Star Wars bookends, I hope that my
mother, my wife, and all the other mums
out there, have a day to remember
where they feel truly special.
@mrdanwalker

This week I have been...
Cycling...
Finally, I’m back on my bike! It’s
been nearly a month since
I was hit by a car on a
roundabout in Sheffield.
I have been asked a lot
about whether or not
I would return, but I
never really considered
not doing it.
My face still aches, this
week I had an injection in
my swollen hip, I can’t feel part of
my lip and I may have lost the blood

supply to a tooth, but I can’t wait to
get back out there.
My old bike is still being fixed but
I have an electric Gocycle (left)
at the ready and I also have a
helmet with snazzy lights
on it to replace the one
that protected my noggin
from the tarmac.

Hosting...
It was a real pleasure to host
the Ultimate News Quiz. It is a
brilliant event which brings together

some of the top newsrooms in the
country to answer a devilishly
difficult set of questions while
raising money
for charity.
This year, we
managed to
give nearly
£250,000 to
Action for
Children.
I was
hosting
alongside
my good

friend, and former BBC Breakfast
co-presenter, Sally Nugent (left).
My colleagues from 5 News
managed to win the whole thing!
I was booed when we announced it.
Here is one of the questions for
you: prior to the Queen, when was
the last time a British monarch was
buried in the UK? (Answer at end.)

Decorating...
our home. We currently have our
fridge and dining table wedged in
our hall because we are having a new

floor installed in the kitchen and
changing the colour of the walls. We
are going for a dark navy and a shade
called “Matchstick”.
There are dust sheets and
brushes everywhere, so although I’m
confident there will be some sort of
cake to celebrate the dual occasion
of my birthday and Mother’s Day
this weekend, I’m not entirely sure
where we will be eating it.
Answer: 2015, when Richard III was
reinterred in Leicester Cathedral
after being found in a car park.

26

OPINION

i@inews.co.uk

@theipaper

The i Paper Please include a contact address with all email correspondence

The Opinion Matrix
COMMENT FROM HOME AND ABROAD
PENSION
PERKS

RENTAL
CRISIS

SAVE THE
TREES

HOLOCAUST
COMPARISONS

REPARATIONS
INDUSTRY

McGUINNESS
BREAK UP

Hunt reforms
are a huge tax
cut for the rich

Renters may
swallow poor
conditions

Why council
axeman visits
in the night

Lineker’s real
nuance lost in
the hype

How we relate
to the past is
misunderstood

Ask yourself
why you are
sneering

Daily Express

The Guardian

The Times

The Conversation

The Daily Telegraph

The Independent

You do have to ask: is this
really going to help the
Tories turn around their
fortunes and win the
next election? For once, I
think Labour is right with
its attack line. Mr Hunt’s
pension reforms amount to
a huge tax cut for the very
wealthy - while ordinary
people have been clobbered.
Mr Hunt was not wrong
to tackle the issue of the
pension lifetime allowance.
But he didn’t just raise it; he
abolished it,
Accountants were cocka-hoop, as pensions have
suddenly become a highly
effective way of avoiding
inheritance tax.
That would be all well
and good if the Chancellor
was not simultaneously
hitting middle-earners
with a huge tax rise through
fiscal drag.
(Ross Clarke)

Renters’ advocacy groups
report that individual
rent increases of 20 per
cent and even more are
common. And no-fault
evictions under section
21 are still not outlawed –
although the Government
has committed to doing so
in this Parliament.
At such a tense time
– when market rates are
increasingly unaffordable,
and even responsible
landlords might be led
astray by greed – renters
may count themselves
lucky to have a roof over
their head, no matter how
leaky it is.
Without security
of tenure, even those
fortunate enough to have
landed a fair-minded
landlord may think twice
before calling attention
to themselves.
(Elle Hunt)

Who are these people
who sit in offices and
give orders to chop down
trees? They’re everywhere.
Plymouth, where 129 horse
chestnuts and hawthorns
were removed in the dead
of night for a regeneration
project. Sheffield, where
a street improvement
scheme meant the
sacrifice of 17,500 healthy
specimens. London, with
50 centuries-old plane
trees making way for
Euston’s new ticket office.
Wellingborough, and
40 lime trees due to be
felled, to create access to a
dual carriageway.
The axeman came
for Plymouth’s trees at
midnight. That’s the clue.
Anything the council has
to get up to under the
cover of darkness is never
good news.
(Martin Samuel)

Gary Lineker had not
mentioned the Holocaust,
the systematic murder of
six million European Jews.
His tweet referred to the
exclusion of German Jews
from German society in
the 1930s, and to the role
that language plays in
“othering” and demonising
human beings – Jews then,
refugees today. But that
nuance got lost in the hype.
The Holocaust was
made possible by a hatred
of the Jewish religion and
culture that is deeply
embedded in our culture,
and that did not end in
1945. Only if we constantly
challenge antisemitism
in our own heritage and
identity can we truly hope
to learn lessons from the
Holocaust – and make
meaningful comparisons
with the present.
(Maiken Umbach)

A whole reparations
industry is coming into
existence. The latest sign
is that Laura Trevelyan
has resigned her position
as a news presenter to
concentrate on being
a “roving advocate”
for reparations.
But whether or not any
money is ever paid out to
the descendants of slaves,
plenty is finding its way
into studies and campaigns.
In Shelby county in
Tennessee, a scoping
exercise to look into the
feasibility of reparations
is set to cost $5m. As this
cottage industry takes
hold, few ask whether
reparations are appropriate
in the first place. At the
root of the reparations
movement is a deep
misunderstanding about
how we relate to the past.
(David Abulafia)

Who cares if Paddy and
Christine’s break-up
doesn’t fit the mould of
the classic “couple who
hate each other’s guts”
– isn’t the fact that they
apparently remain loving
and mindful of each
other, even in the wake
of something as painful
as the end of a marriage,
something to celebrate?
So-called social
boundaries, in my opinion,
are entirely subjective –
what works in terms of
closeness for one person
might be a suffocating
nightmare to another, and
vice versa. The only thing
that matters is individual
happiness, and the
happiness of the children.
If you’re tempted
to sneer at Paddy and
Christine’s amicable split,
ask yourself why.
(Victoria Richards)

Life In Brief

QUOTE OF
THE DAY

BOBBY CALDWELL SINGER

There’s a
politeness to
Swedes. But
deep down
we’re animals
Alexander
Skarsgård

The actor on
his Swedish
temperament

Bobby Caldwell, a soulful R&B singer
and songwriter who had a major hit
in 1978 with “What You Won’t Do for
Love” and a voice and musical style
adored by generations of his fellow
artists, has died, his wife said.
Mary Caldwell said he died in her
arms at their home in Great Meadows,
New Jersey, on Tuesday, after a long
illness. He was 71.
The smooth soul jam “What You
Won’t Do for Love” went to number
nine on the Billboard Hot 100 and
number six on what was then called
the Hot Selling Soul Singles chart.
It became a long-term standard and
career-defining hit for Caldwell, who
also wrote the song.
The song was covered by artists,
including Boyz II Men and Michael
Bolton, and was sampled by Tupac
Shakur on his posthumously-released
song “Do For Love”.

Other Caldwell songs were sampled
by hip-hop artists including The
Notorious B.I.G, Common, Lil Nas X
and Chance the Rapper.
Stories abound, many of them
shared on social media after his death,
of listeners being surprised to learn
that Caldwell was white and not black.
He appeared in silhouette on the
self-titled debut solo album on which
“What You Won’t Do for Love” appears.
“Caldwell was the closing chapter
in a generation in which record execs
wanted to hide faces on album covers
so perhaps maybe their artist could
have a chance,” Questlove said on
Instagram. “Thank you for your voice
and gift #BobbyCaldwell.”
Chance the Rapper shared a
screenshot on Instagram of a direct
message exchange he had with
Caldwell last year, when he asked to
use his music.

“I’ll be honoured if you sample my
song,” Caldwell wrote.
Born in New York and raised in
Miami, Caldwell was the son of
singers who hosted a musical variety
TV show called Suppertime. A multiinstrumentalist, he began performing
professionally at 17, and got his break
playing guitar in Little Richard’s band
in the early 1970s. He then played
in various bar bands in Los Angeles
before landing a solo record deal.
Caldwell would never have a hit
that came close in prominence to
“What You Won’t Do for Love”, but he
released several respected albums,
including 1980’s Cat in The Hat - and
1982’s Carry On, on which he was
his own producer and played all
the instruments.
His song “Open Your Eyes” from
Cat in The Hat was covered by John
Legend and sampled by Common on

his Grammy-nominated 2000 single
“The Light”.
In the 1990s, Caldwell shifted to
recording and performing American
standards, including songs made
popular by Frank Sinatra and Nat King
Cole, that he loved in his youth.
In addition to Mary, his wife of
19 years, Caldwell is survived by
daughters Lauren and Tessa and
stepdaughter Katie. AP
Born 15 August 1951
Died 14 March 2023

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

27

To purchase signed or unsigned Ben Jennings prints, visit benjennings.newsprints.co.uk

GPT-4, tech’s new darling, resets AI’s horizon
My View
John
Thornhill

T

echnology, they say, is
about turning the magical
into the mundane. A decade
ago, digital assistants such
as Siri, Alexa and Cortana
seemed like astonishing
inventions. Nowadays, Microsoft’s chief
executive, Satya Nadella, dismisses
them as “dumb as a rock”. How quickly
will today’s much-hyped generative AI
models become similarly humdrum?
On Tuesday, San Francisco-based research firm OpenAI released its latest
content-generation model GPT-4, demonstrating nifty new features such as
helping to calculate a tax return.
OpenAI’s launch of its uncannily plausible, if unnervingly flawed, ChatGPT
chatbot in November caused a sensation.
But in several significant ways, GPT-4
is even more impressive. The new model
is more accurate and powerful, and has
greater reasoning capabilities. ChatGPT
struggles to answer the question: what’s
the name of the daughter of Laura’s

mother? But, as the philosopher Luciano
Floridi found when experimenting, the
new GPT-4 model gives the correct answer (Laura, in case you’re wondering)
when told the question is a logic puzzle.
Moreover, GPT-4 is a multimodal
model, combining both text and images.
At the launch event, Greg Brockman,
OpenAI’s co-founder, quickly turned a
photograph of a handwritten note into
a functioning website containing some
awful dad jokes. “Why don’t scientists
trust atoms?” GPT-4 asked.“Because
they make up everything.”
The applications of these generative
AI models are seemingly limitless, which
explains why venture capital investors
are pouring money into the sector. These
models are also seeping into all kinds of
existing digital services.
Microsoft, a big investor in OpenAI,
has embedded GPT-4 in its Bing search
engine. The payments company Stripe is
using it to help detect online fraud.
Iceland is even employing GPT-4 to
improve local language chatbots. That
is surely worth it just to preserve the
lovely Icelandic word for computer: tölva,
meaning “number prophetess”.
Big companies, such as Microsoft and
Google, will be the first to deploy these
systems at scale. But some start-ups
see opportunities in arming the smaller
battalions. Josh Browder, who runs the
robolawyer company DoNotPay, which

ChatGPT
caused a
sensation…
GPT-4 is
even more
impressive

contests parking tickets, says GPT-4 will
be a powerful new tool to help users counter automated systems.
His company is already working on
embedding it into an app to issue oneclick lawsuits against nuisance robocallers. The technology could also be used
to challenge medical bills or cancel subscriptions. “My goal is to give power back
to the people,” Browder tells me.
Alongside the positive uses of generative AI, however, there are many less visible abuses. Humans are susceptible to
the so-called Eliza effect, or falsely attributing human thoughts and emotions
to a computer system. This can be an effective way to manipulate people, warns
Margaret Mitchell, researcher at the
Hugging Face AI company.
Machine learning systems, which can
synthesise voices and generate false personalised emails, have already contributed to a surge in imposter scams in the US.
Last year, the Federal Trade Commission
recorded 36,000 reports of people being
swindled by criminals pretending to be
friends or family.
They can also be used for generating
disinformation. It is perhaps telling that
China’s regulators have instructed their
tech companies not to offer ChatGPT
services, seemingly for fear of losing control over information flows.
Much remains mysterious about OpenAI’s models. The company accepts that

GPT-4 exhibits societal biases and hallucinates facts. But the company says it
spent six months stress-testing GPT-4
for safety and has introduced guardrails
through a process known as reinforcement learning from human feedback.
“It’s not perfect,” Brockman said at the
launch. “But neither are you.”
Furious rows over the training of these
models seem inevitable. One researcher
has been periodically testing ChatGPT’s
“bias” by prompting it to answer political-orientation questions. Initially, ChatGPT fell in the left-libertarian quadrant
but has been moving towards the neutral
centre as the model has been tweaked.
But, in an online post, the AI researcher David Rozado argues it will be hard to
eliminate pervasive societal biases and
blind spots reflected on the internet. “Political biases in state of the art AI systems
are not going away,” he concludes.
Elon Musk, a founder of OpenAI who
later quit the company, has repeatedly criticised “woke AI” and is exploring whether to launch a less restrictive
model, according to The Information.
“What we need is TruthGPT,” he tweeted. Such rows over bias are only a foretaste of far bigger fights to come.
ARTICLE REPUBLISHED FROM
THE FINANCIAL TIMES

@johnthornhillft

28

OPINION

i@inews.co.uk

@
Your
View
Tweets, emails
and letters to:
The Editor, i,
9 Derry Street,
London W8 5HY

@theipaper

The i Paper Please include a contact address with all email correspondence

Great lessons in
migrant history
I just wanted to say how
impressed I am with
Yasmin Alibhai-Brown’s
writing, and particularly
her column on Friday (i,
17 March).
She is able to draw
on pertinent facts and
historical information
to show the current
pervasive racism,
endemic in this country,
for what it really is:

shameful prejudice
and ignorance.
She speaks of losing
patience with it, but she
is much more patient
than I am now, in that she
can still logically refute
the fallacies and argue
her case.
I am in my seventies
and encounter these
poisonous attitudes
daily. I can’t think quickly
enough to challenge it all
the time.
Thank you Yasmin

for showing us how to
at least try to debunk
these views.
ELAINE DRAIN
BY EMAIL
Thank you, Yasmin
Alibhai-Brown, for your
migration history lesson.
It makes me wonder
how the original Celtic
ancestors of these islands
would view the notion
that these are now “our”
shores to be defended
against imagined

“invasion”. We are all
migrants here.
JOHN DENNISON
BY EMAIL

Fill potholes
and level up
If filling potholes is
part of the levelling up
package (i, 16 March),
the sooner they are all
levelled up the better.
CYNTHIA HOLLAND
GRANTHAM

Afternoon ads
now make sense
Just a few lines to agree
with the excellent letter
from Lesley Skorupka
(Your View, 17 March)
regarding TV advertising
in the afternoons.
I’m retired and watch
a lot of afternoon TV
programmes.
I hadn’t connected
the range of ads mainly
concerning mobility
aids until Lesley’s
excellent letter.
FRANCIS FOX
BELFAST,
NORTHERN IRELAND

What’s in a
surname?
Well done Al Tansley (i, 16
March) for adopting the
surname of his wife.
I was married to my
wife for 40 years and
we each kept our own
surnames throughout
without any problems
whatsoever.
Occasionally we might
be asked for a copy of our
marriage certificate for
identification but that
caused no problems.
MALCOLM GELSTHORPE
EDWINSTOWE,
NOTTINGHAMSHIRE

Our commitment

A marriage doesn’t mean having to change names GETTY
Years ago, one of our
local councillors called
herself by her first
and middle names,
thus avoiding use of
the patronymic and
discarding the names of
her father and husband.
We have a long way to go.
VALERIE WEBB
LONDON
I’m an unmarried
woman and have been
with my partner 38
years. Our daughter has
my name and our son
my partner’s. It was a
decision based on what
we wanted, not on
antiquated social
patriarchal norms.
FRAN GIDDINGS
FALMOUTH

Budget forgets
those under 45
After the Budget, I realise
I am going to have £21
extra in my pay packet.
However, my rent

​ e take very seriously our responsibility to
W
maintain high editorial standards, and are grateful
to readers for pointing out any errors. ​​i adheres
to the Independent Press Standards Organisation
(Ipso) code of practice. If you wish to complain
about our editorial coverage, especially with
relation to inaccuracy or intrusion, please write
to The Editor, i, 9 Derry Street, London, W8 5HY,
or email reader@inews.co.uk. You can contact
Ipso directly at Gate House, 1 Farringdon Street,
London, EC4M 7LG, telephone
0300 123 2220, or by email on
inquiries@ipso.co.uk.

is going up. So is my
council tax. And my bills.
The Conservatives
have once again,
remembered to forget
about those under
45 who’ve seen every
opportunity afforded to
our parents taken away.
But then again, as
we’re less likely to vote
Conservative, perhaps
it isn’t forgetfulness
that’s leading to us being
sidelined in favour of the
wealthy and retired.
JO SELWOOD
OXFORD

Pundit-free
zone is welcome
I was pleased to watch
Match of the Day in its
changed format. No inane
chatter, over-excited
shouting and telling me
what I could already see
for myself. What a breath
of fresh air.
PAUL NUTTALL
PINHOE, EXETER

iQuiz answers (from p2)
1. Cheshire
2. James II
3. Welsh cakes
4. The Bay (right)
5. Goodwin Sands
6. San Salvador
7. Olive oil
8. South Africa
9. Da capo
10. DHL

ARTS

IN MONDAY’S

George
Ezra

Review of
the most
positive man
in pop’s
latest gigs
at London’s
O2 Arena

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

SPORT
90-104

29

CHARLENE WHITE

Being mistaken for your sister’s
mother? Blame the children

I

t happened without warning.
I was all glammed up for an
International Women’s Day
dinner as my sister’s date. I’d
done my hair “just so”. I’d asked
the make-up team at work to go
a wee bit glam to save my tired eyes
from kid-induced stolen sleep. I’d spent
a week choosing an edgy outfit, and I’d
finally found a cute pair of gold shoes
that didn’t make my fat feet feel like they
were being strangled.
Let’s put it this way: as a woman in
her forties who works full-time, has
two children under five, and who had
finished a long week at work, I looked in
the mirror before I walked out of ITV
News studios that evening and thought,
“yep, this whole getup is banging”.
My sister and I arrived at the private
members’ club Annabel’s (hence the
emphasis on glam). What happened
next was completely without warning.
We were stood at the bar for the
pre-dinner drinks bit, with my sister
discreetly whispering in my ear to let
me know who each guest was (it was a
room full of brilliantly talented and very
glamorous women who were, yes, on
the whole, slightly younger). We were
sipping champagne; we were getting
our picture taken. Dear reader, it really
was a beautiful evening with every small
detail thoughtfully arranged.
And then the moment arrived. One of
the guests turned to me and my sister
and said: “Oh, you guys are mother
and daughter! How lovely that you’ve
come together!”
I swear to God, all the blood rushed
to my head. I thought I was having an
out of body experience. I just could
not comprehend WHAT ON EARTH
WAS HAPPENING HERE. Thank
goodness I was stood right next to the

Charlene (left)
and Carina at the
International
Women’s Day
dinner GETTY

Essentially
me now
resembling
a woman
nearing 70
is down to
my kids

bar. I grabbed it immediately to steady
myself, taking deep breaths so as not
to embarrass the guest, myself, and
my sister. This was the first time in our
entire lives that my sister and I had
been mistaken for mother and daughter
– you know, what with us only being
FIVE YEARS APART.
I’ll give you a moment to digest that.
My younger sister, who popped out of
my mother a cool five years after me,
was just referred to as my daughter.
When on earth did I suddenly age?
I’ve spent a lifetime safe in the
knowledge that my darker skin means
I’ll age more slowly. My melanin

popping meant that I was still getting
ID’d at least a decade after I was legally
allowed to buy booze.
I mostly drink water and herbal tea.
I have a pretty decent skincare routine,
and I never fall asleep in my make-up.
My aunt who is in her seventies looks
anything but. If there’s one thing I’ve
never, ever contemplated, it’s looking
older than my years.
And then I was mistaken as my
sister’s mum. Let’s not forget, God rest
her soul, my mum would be 68 years
old if she were still alive. So should I feel
grateful that the guest thought I was a
very well-preserved 68-year-old?

Honestly, my head was spinning. For
the first time in I don’t know how long, I
was lost for words.
As I gripped on to that bar for dear
life, my sister kindly interjected to say
that, no, we were actually sisters, not
mother and daughter.
The guest, suitably embarrassed,
wandered off to enjoy the rest of her
evening. I, though, had it on my mind
most of the night. It was such a weird
thing to happen – I felt like I’d somehow
turned into Sam Beckett in Quantum
Leap and had jumped two decades.
Where had I got it wrong with the
outfit? How could this have happened?
Well, the answer is simple, really. I’m
writing this following seven nights of
broken sleep because my daughter has
decided that shouting for me when her
quilt comes off in the night is the best
course of action (FYI: it’s not).
And what with having my children
older and in quick succession, basically
I haven’t had a run of unbroken sleep for
at least six years. Essentially, me now
resembling a woman nearing 70 is down
to my kids. And I’ll be sure to remind
them of that when they’re old enough
to understand the consequences of
their actions.
But actually, the lighting in there
was awful: all dimmed lights and dark
walls. In fact, when I was reading the
menu I had to do that ridiculous thing
where you squint your eyes and hold the
paper slightly away from you, so your
eyes can focus on the teeny tiny words.
Wait… that’s an age thing isn’t it? Oh for
goodness sake.
Charlene White is a presenter for ITV
News and ‘Loose Women’
@CharleneWhite

Reach for veg, nuts and seeds instead of ultra-processed food
Tim
Spector

T

he Mediterranean diet
is the world’s most
widely-researched,
well-documented
diet. There are slight
variations on parts of
it, such as the amount of dairy and
alcohol consumption, but the overall
pattern of the diet is consistent with
its focus on whole plant foods and a
lack of ultra-processed foods.
Research has shown how
easy the diet is. It is achievable
and sustainable; it is affordable,

seasonal and applicable across
the globe, with the only truly
exceptional ingredient being extra
virgin olive oil, which appears to
have unique beneficial impacts
beyond that of the rest of the diet.
The Mediterranean diet is
unique in the way it highlights the
importance of social factors and
daily movement as well as food.
The importance of how, where,
when and why we eat as well as
what we eat is all part of the latest
understanding of the diet and is
well supported by research in the
areas where we see the world’s
longest-living populations.
These centenarians eat broadly
in line with the Mediterranean diet
and have strong social connections,
purpose and daily movement .

The diet has been shown to
improve health from pregnancy to
well into older age, reducing the risk
of heart disease, high blood pressure,
cognitive impairment, type 2
diabetes, cancer, obesity, depression
and, most recently, dementia.
Diseases related to ageing are
all tightly linked with nutrition,
making our food choices our most
powerful tool to decrease our risk of

Research has shown
the Mediterranean
diet is a clear winner
in improving health

developing them and live a longer,
healthier life.
As part of the ZOE health study,
we analyse the diet of all our
members and found those who are
eating a range of different plant
foods, including whole grains, nuts
and seeds, alongside healthy animal
foods such as fish (similar to the
Mediterranean diet) are more likely
to have a healthier gut microbiome
score and metabolic response.
One way most of us could have a
more Mediterranean style diet is to
add pulses, beans, lentils and whole
grains to every meal. These foods
offer a huge variety of benefits and
are a Mediterranean diet staple.
Research has shown one clear
winner when it comes to improving
overall health; the Mediterranean

diet. The future of nutrition to
promote better ageing and longevity
is exciting and can be tasty. I’d love
to see more of us ditching ultraprocessed and grab-and-go foods,
which we know are bad for us.
Instead, reach for vegetables,
nuts and seeds, oily fish, and a glug
of extra virgin olive oil, and make
the time to enjoy food, sitting with
friends and family around a table.
These changes are scientifically
proven to ward off these age-related
diseases. I’ve been doing this for
years and it’s much more enjoyable
and effective than another hour in
the gym!
Tim Spector is co-founder of the ZOE
study and professor of epidemiology
at King’s College London

V1

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PATRICK COCKBURN

The 2003 Iraq invasion has
parallels with Ukraine

I

was in Erbil, the Kurdish capital
of northern Iraq where Saddam
Hussein had no control, when the
US-led invasion began 20 years
ago on 20 March 2003.
The city had an empty feel to it
as much of its population had fled into
the countryside to escape a possible
poison gas attack by the Iraqi army 30
miles away. Many of the houses had a
bizarrely festive appearance as those
who remained in the city had nailed
plastic sheeting, often coloured a garish
green, yellow, blue and red, over their
windows and doors in a pathetic effort
to keep out the deadly gas, supposing
Saddam decided to use it.
It was not only the Kurds in 2003 who
feared that they would be the victims of
Hussein’s weapons of mass destruction
(WMD). By then, the then US president
George W Bush and UK prime minister
Tony Blair had largely convinced
international opinion, on the dodgiest of
evidence, that Iraq not only possessed
WMD but might use them.
In Ukraine today, the situation is
quite the reverse in that the American
and British governments, aided
by sympathetic news outlets, have
played down President Vladimir
Putin’s undoubted nuclear and poison
gas arsenal, suggesting that the
Russian leader – despite his historic
misjudgement in invading Ukraine –
will coolly calculate that using WMD is
not in his best interests.
The fact that this wishful thinking
has been so easily accepted is a sign
that the Western public has lost its
previous healthy scepticism – fostered
by official mendacity during the
Iraq war – about their governments’
motivation and competence in waging
war. This enhanced credulity is not
necessarily a positive development
and it is worth keeping in mind that in
war after war, and not just in Iraq and
Afghanistan, Washington and London
blundered in small things and large.
There is no reason to suppose that their
record will be any better in Ukraine
than it was in the past.
Opponents of the Iraq war are
prone to write it off as a predictable
catastrophe, an attitude which is highly
convenient for those who supported
the invasion. If failure was inevitable,
then individual errors cannot have
determined the final outcome.
Apocalyptic denunciations of the war
as a whole have had the unintended
result of letting the perpetrators off
the hook and preventing others from
learning from their mistakes.
The grim consequence of failing
to learn from the Iraq invasion is to
repeat many of its errors from Kabul to
Benghazi. Current punditry about the
war on its 20th anniversary of the Iraq
invasion is repeating many of the old
myths and misjudgements.
The anti-Saddam Iraqi opposition

A Kurdish family
set up home in a
tent with other
refugees after
fleeing from
Erbil in Khalifan,
Iraq, in 2003 GETTY

The
invasion
of Iraq was
welcomed;
the
occupation
was not

had a much better understanding
of the Iraqi political landscape than
their Western allies and were able to
manipulate them for personal, party
and communal interests. The Shia and
Kurdish leaders, for example, were
eager to destroy the Sunni-dominated
state machine so they persuaded
the Americans to dissolve the Iraqi
armed forces and to purge anybody
in the upper tiers of the Baath party.
This was all part of a revolutionary
change as the Shia and Kurds displaced
the Sunni who were previously the
dominant community.
Demonisation of Saddam Hussein and
his regime as the sole source of Iraq’s
divisions, tended to blind the occupation
authorities to the real mechanics of
Iraqi politics and the intractability of the
problems the country faced.
The US and its allies are often
accused of not having a post-war plan
for Iraq, but the real difficulty was that
they were chock-a-block with plans,
most of them ill-conceived.
The biggest strategic mistake was
simple enough: the invasion and the
occupation are frequently analysed
as a single event. But the invasion and
overthrow of the regime was welcomed,
or was at least acceptable, to most
Iraqis, while the permanent occupation
of Iraq was not.
The invasion had gone easier than
expected: the Iraqi army did not fight
because it knew it would lose and

because, by 2003, very few Iraqis were
willing to die defending a regime that
had effectively destroyed their country
by disastrously invading Iran in 1980
and Kuwait in 1990. Three-fifths of
Iraqis are Shia Arabs, one-fifth are
Kurds and one-fifth are Sunni Arabs.
The Baathist regime had been largely
dominated by the Sunni but by 2003
even they wanted a political change at
the top.
The US and its allies might have got
away with the invasion and regime
change had they immediately retreated
after Saddam’s overthrow, possibly
turning authority over to the United
Nations. This would have created a
power vacuum, but would still have
been better than what swiftly became
an old-style imperial conquest in which
foreigners ruled the roost, invariably
putting their own interests first. The
Iraqis they favoured were the most
servile and most corrupt. By 2004, the
Americans and British only controlled
islands of territory in Iraq.
I remember a British military
intelligence officer, who was stationed in
Basra and spoke Arabic, telling me of his
vain attempts to persuade his military
superiors of the weakness of the British
position because “in Malaya and
Northern Ireland we had local allies, but
here everybody hates us”.
His negative verdict on the failing
British military effort was confirmed in
2016 by the excellent Chilcot report on

the British intervention, which acidly
observed that “between 2003 and 2009,
the UK’s most consistent strategic
objective in relation to Iraq was to
reduce the level of its deployed forces”.
In other words, the government wanted
to get out of Iraq without humiliation
and without offending the Americans
so they came up with the bright idea
of redeploying the troops to Helmand
province in Afghanistan.
Iraqi domestic resistance was
so lethal to the occupying armies
because it could easily plug into
support, including arms and
ammunition supplies, from Iraq’s
neighbours. Triumphant American
neoconservatives had boasted in the
days after the fall of Saddam Hussein
about taking “Baghdad today, Tehran
and Damascus tomorrow”.
Inevitably, the Iranian and Syrian
governments did everything to ensure
that the Americans could barely cling on
in Baghdad and the British in Basra. An
Iraqi leader known for his pro-American
sympathies told me that “the problem
is that none of our neighbours without
exception want a large American field
army in their backyard”.
I have a vivid memory of an incident
in Baghdad in October 2003 when
Iraqi guerrillas rigged up a mobile
rocket battery that fired rockets at
6am into the al-Rashid Hotel where
Paul Wolfowitz, the then US deputy
secretary of defence and one of the
architects of the invasion, was staying.
He rushed down the stairs through the
smoke in his pyjamas, saying that the
attack demonstrated the desperation of
the remnants of the old regime.
I had climbed onto the flat roof of a
house opposite the battered al-Rashid.
Most of those living there were hotel
staff and their families, but they were
vigorously approving of the attack.
Ibrahim Abdul Sattar, an articulate
11-year-old, told me that “the situation is
worse than under Saddam. We want the
Americans to leave”.

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31

News in brief

FOCUS

Two fingers to decorum!

HONG KONG

Pair arrested over
children’s books
Two men have been arrested in
Hong Kong for possessing picture
books that authorities dislike.
The men, aged 38 and 50,
are believed to be the first to be
arrested for simply owning the
books – about sheep trying to fend
off wolves. Publishers were jailed
last year for the books after a court
said they had “seditious intention”.
Authorities interpreted them as
being about China’s government
and Hong Kong. Human Rights
Watch said the arrests were
“shameful”. The two men’s homes
were raided and multiple copies
seized. Both have been bailed.

Swearing – and
rude hand gestures
– can be socially
indispensible and
even relieve
stress,
writes
Susie Dent

S

wearing ain’t what it used
to be, if we are to believe
the news. In 2021, polls
suggested that a third of
us use stronger language
today than we did five years ago.
The uptick has been blamed
variously on the impact of social
media, gaming, movies, late-night
comedy shows, and the pandemic.
But whatever our reasons, we have,
it seems, descended into a nation of
potty mouths.
Thankfully, it’s not just us. This
week, a Canadian judge dismissed
a harassment claim based on an
aggrieved individual being shown
the middle finger by his neighbour.
“To be abundantly clear,” the
judge wrote in his ruling, “it is not
a crime to give someone the finger.
Flipping the proverbial bird is a
God-given, charter-enshrined
right that belongs to every
red-blooded Canadian.”
Few of us would argue that
the right to bare fingers is a lot
less risky than bearing arms.
But the case reignites the gnarly
debate as to how much freedom
of expression offers a safe space
for “bad” language. Employment
tribunals frequently centre around
an employee’s use of profanity
towards colleagues or bosses. Such
discussions raise nothing new, but
the question of bodily gestures ups
the ante considerably.
Yet this, too, is far from a
modern phenomenon. Showing
someone the middle finger has
been a gesture of obscenity since
ancient times. The Romans even
called it the digitus impudicus, or
“indecent finger”, for it was widely
interpreted as a suggestion of an
erect penis (another obscene hand
gesture, the “V” sign, might then
suggest a double penis).
The historian Tacitus (inset
right) wrote of a battle in which
German tribesmen collectively
gave advancing Roman soldiers
the middle finger, the predecessors
perhaps to the Ukrainian defenders
of Snake Island, whose expletiveladen verbal response to Putin’s
forces – “Russian warship, go f**k
yourself” – quickly became an
emblem of patriotic courage.
The act of flipping the bird (so
named in the 19th century because
it was a silent way of delivering an
aggressive, goose-like hiss) sits
alongside another digital swear,
“the fig”, in which the thumb is
wedged between two fingers, this

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

HERITAGE

Financial backers
save fossil festival

Ukrainians carry a picture honouring the defiant border guards from Snake Island during a march in Poland GETTY

time representing female genitalia.
This same gesture is even hiding
within the word “sycophant”,
Greek for “fig shower”, the
implication being that a fawning
flatterer may be saying and doing
very different things behind the
flatteree’s back.
The repertoire of hand gestures
goes on, shared across different
nations as a powerful and universal
language. In Elizabethan England,
thumb-biting was a distinctly
confrontational gesture,
involving the placing of
the tip of the thumb
behind the front
teeth and flicking
it forward.
In some cultures,
the spreading of five
fingers with the palm
facing forward suggests
that the recipient has
“five fathers”, in other words
they are a “bastard”. The age-old
gesture for a “wanker”, meanwhile,
is unmistakable to anyone who
spends time on a British road.
What is fascinating here is that
much of this explicit body language
has held sway since antiquity,

An erect phallus
was believed to
divert the gaze of
the evil eye

with no or little reduction in their
power to offend. Our verbal insults
are different – many of today’s top
taboos were once considerably less
offensive than today.
In the Middle Ages, kestrels
were known as “windf**kers”,
dandelions were “pissabeds”,
and plants called “c**tehoare”
and “bollocks grass” graced the
countryside. The names Randulfus
Bla de Scotebroc (roughly, Randall
Shitboast) and Thomas
Turd are both recorded
in county court rolls
in the 12th and 14th
century, as is, rather
improbably, a man
with the surname
Fuckbythenavele.
At this time, it was
religious profanity
that attracted the
deepest censure.
But language has always
been sweepingly circular. Walking
around the Roman empire, you
would have seen swathes of penis
pictures – in graffiti, painted above
doorways, and even drawn upon
chariot wheels.
An erect phallus was believed
to divert the gaze of the evil eye,
and talismans known as fascina
were regularly hung around necks
and above doorways – it was their
bewitching power that gave us our
word “fascinate”.
But the language of penises
was different, and the 10 most
taboo words in Latin revolved

around bodies and sex. It is no
coincidence, therefore, that any
body language representing them
was equally powerful.
Perhaps the bigger question is
why humans have always needed to
swear in the first place. It’s an area
in which research is highly active.
Scientists and medics are finding
more and more evidence that
swearing helps us physiologically
by relieving stress, frustration,
anxiety, and pain.
It even has a name: “lalochezia”
(literally, “mouth excrement” or,
in modern terms, dumping your
verbal shit).
The truth is, we will never
not have “bad language”. It is an
innate need, whether or not we
answer its call in public. Rather
than stemming from a poverty
of vocabulary, swearwords are,
as the linguist Kate Burridge
puts it, “socially and emotionally
indispensable”. Hand gestures are,
by this calculation, no different.
As ever, though, context is
everything. Red-blooded Canadians
aside, it’s probably far wiser to
flip your bird or show your fig in
private. Indecent fingers aren’t
for everyone.
Susie Dent is a lexicographer and
etymologist. She has appeared in
‘Dictionary Corner’ on Channel
4’s ‘Countdown’ since 1992, and
co-hosts with Gyles Brandreth
the podcast ‘Something Rhymes
with Purple’

A festival celebrating Dorset’s
Jurassic Coast will take place after
all this year after being given a
lifeline by new financial backers.
Lyme Regis Development Trust
said a “lack of response” from
organisations who had previously
backed it meant it had to cancel.
But local groups including the
parish council and Lyme Regis
Museum have come to its rescue.
The free event (below), which
includes fossil-hunting walks, is now
scheduled for 29 and 30 April.
Councillor Cheryl Reynolds said:
“The fossil festival has become
an iconic event and the council is
thrilled to give support and financial
backing to ensure it continues.”

TRAVEL

Demand for foreign
holidays recovers
Demand for foreign holidays
has recovered to pre-pandemic
levels, a survey commissioned
by the travel trade association
Abta suggests.
In the poll of 2,000 UK adults,
conducted by research company
Savanta in February, 62 per cent
of respondents said they had been
on a foreign holiday in the previous
12 months.
That is up from 16 per cent when
a similar survey was carried out in
August 2021, when travel into the
UK was restricted.
Many tour operators and travel
agents have reported record sales
since the start of the year.

32

NEWS

SPOTLIGHT

Water wings:
how hydrogen
could fuel flights

THINKING
T
HIINKING
NKING
N
KING
K
ING O
ON
NA
ANOTHER
NOTHER P
PLANE
LANE
Could we really see hydrogen-powered planes in our skies
any time soon? This week the US company Universal
Hydrogen showed a passenger plane, fuelled using “green
hydrogen”, successfully taking off and landing at an airport
in Washington state. But what might such planes look like
in the skies of the future and how would they work?

The same fuel that led to the ‘Hindenburg’ disaster is now
being touted as an environmentally friendly way to power
planes. Stuart Ritchie looks at its chances of taking off

A

century ago, in 1923, the
eminent biologist John
“JBS” Haldane wrote an
essay called “Daedalus; or,
Science and the Future”.
Four hundred years in the future,
he predicted, Britain would run on
hydrogen. A network of windmills
would produce energy which would
split the oxygen from the hydrogen in
water; the hydrogen would be liquefied
and kept as fuel. That fuel could be
used for industry, heating, lighting,
and transportation. In particular, he
mentioned “its use in aeroplanes”.
Haldane did not foresee an event
just 14 years later, in 1937, which dealt
a near-fatal blow to the possibility
of using hydrogen for aviation. The
swastika-emblazoned German airship
LZ 129 Hindenburg – the biggest-ever
such vehicle, filled with 140,000 cubic
metres of highly flammable hydrogen –
dramatically exploded, killing 35 people,
as it tried to dock at Lakehurst Naval
Air Station in New Jersey at the end of
the first North American transatlantic
journey of its second season of service.
Of course, the Hindenburg was using
all that hydrogen – which is lighter
than air – to help it float, not as jet fuel
(its engines were powered by diesel).
But the infamous photograph of the
explosion had a chilling effect on the
idea of stocking flying machines with
the notoriously volatile gas.
But are we finally looking at a new
advent for hydrogen-powered flight?
Earlier this month, the US company
Universal Hydrogen released a video
of its new passenger plane – a modified
40-seat De Havilland Canada Dash
8-300 fuelled using “green hydrogen”
and nicknamed “Lightning McClean”
– successfully taking off and landing at
from Grant County airport in eastern
Washington state.
Other companies, including
some in Britain, have also recently
demonstrated their hydrogen planes –
and in February, the UK Government
announced £113m funding for “hydrogen
and all-electric flight technologies”.
Hydrogen is normally obtained from
reactions such as the burning of coal
or methane, which produces carbon
dioxide and other pollution. But the
“green” kind is so called because it

Ah
hydrogen
ydrogen single aisle does not need
d to be a radically new
d
i
A
d ti enough
hh
drogen ffor ttransatlantic
tl ti
design.
Accommodating
hydrogen
range without sacrificing passenger capacity would add 9
meters to the length of a conventional A321 fuselage

Airbus A321

Length
45 m

Length
54 m

Hydrogen

Transatlantic concept

Universal Hydrogen’s
chief executive, Paul
Eremenko, is bullish
about the prospect of
hydrogen planes

comes from breaking apart water
molecules in exactly the way Haldane
suggested, with his vision of windmills
back in 1923. Producing the hydrogen
using renewable energy isn’t so
damaging to the environment – nor is
burning it in the plane’s engine: the main
thing produced there is water, too.
Universal Hydrogen’s chief executive,
Paul Eremenko, is bullish about the
prospect of hydrogen planes. In his
firm’s video, he stated that “as early as
2025”, passengers will be able to take a
“guilt-free”, environmentally friendly,
“hydrogen regional flight”. And in his
accompanying tweet, he added: “No, it’s
not the Hindenburg.”
Technically, these advances are not
the first examples of hydrogen-powered

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2-37

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25-30

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41-75

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54-67

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SATURDAY
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33

News in brief
Even small amounts of liquid
hydrogen can be explosive –
and only a small amount of
energy is needed to ignite it

The V-shape wings
are designed to
provide greater lift

A hydrogen aircraft
would need a large
fuselage to allow
enough fuel to be
stored safely in
large quantities
for long-distance
air travel

Hydrogen tanks

Prepare for take-off
Aviation fuel alternatives
Three major candidates are:
■ Biofuels These can be produced
from crops such as soybeans or
oilseed rape, from waste cooking
oils, even from sewage. They are less
carbon-intensive than fossil fuels
– but if they come from crops, they
need lots of farmland and water.
■ Synthetic e-Fuels Hydrocarbons
can come from a sustainable process
that starts with reacting carbon
dioxide with water. But it’s a difficult
process: at the moment these e-fuels
need more energy to produce than
they make when burned.
■ Ammonia Ammonia can be made
with renewable hydrogen. It is much
less flammable than hydrogen itself
but that means it contains a lot
less energy. It also produces more
pollution. Ammonia can be stored as
a liquid at -33°C, so would need a lot
less cooling than hydrogen.
Sources: Royal Society,
Irish Aviation Authority
GRAPHIC: BRETT DIETRICH

The hydrogen-filled German airship ‘Hindenburg’ exploded as it
tried to dock after a transatlantic flight to New Jersey in 1937 GETTY

flight: in the 80s, the USSR flew an
experimental airliner – larger than that
used by Universal Hydrogen or any other
new company – the Tupolev Tu-155,
which used hydrogen fuel. But it ran only
a few test flights, to trial different types
of fuel (it later flew using natural gas),
and the collapse of the Soviet Union put
paid to any further development.
Could we really get to the point where
planes use entirely clean fuel to take us
on holiday? Probably not for a while.
What wasn’t mentioned in Universal
Hydrogen’s video was that its plane flew
for just 15 minutes – time to do a couple
of circles of the airport, but hardly
enough to take you to Mallorca.
The main reason for that is the
physics of hydrogen. Compared with

kerosene, the standard kind of jet fuel,
hydrogen contains much more energy
by mass. That is, for the same weight
of hydrogen, you get a lot more energy
than you do with kerosene. But it has
much lower energy by volume – about
a quarter of what you would get for
the same volume of kerosene. That
means that you have to have a very high
volume of hydrogen on your plane to get
anywhere – which, in turn, means you
need a lot of space for fuel storage.
To add another difficulty, hydrogen
fuel must stored as a liquid, so it
needs to be cooled to -253°C. All that
refrigeration equipment is heavy,
meaning that – as well the space taken
up by the hydrogen – the plane can carry
fewer passengers.
Michael Liebreich, a clean energy
expert and UK Government
adviser, estimates that enough
hydrogen for a long-haul flight
would take up as much space
as the entire fuselage of a
passenger plane – so, taking
up the space usually used for,
say, crew, passengers and cargo.
For short-haul flights, he reckons
the hydrogen would take up about a
third of the fuselage – since this means
fewer passengers, he thinks we can
expect “a doubling or tripling of prices”.
That’s in sharp contrast to Eremenko’s
description of hydrogen flights as “more
affordable” – though he didn’t provide
any reasoning.
Getting enough hydrogen to the
airport is also something of a logistical
nightmare. There isn’t technology to
keep pipelines cooled to the required
temperature, Liebreich argues – which
means we would have to rely on large
numbers of tankers and trucks full of
liquid hydrogen on our roads, increasing
the likelihood of accidents.
To quote an explainer from Nasa,
“even small amounts of liquid hydrogen
can be explosive when combined with
air, and only a small amount of energy
is required to ignite it”. We might not be
talking about the Hindenburg, but the
same questions about safety apply.
“The bottom line”, Liebreich writes,
“is that liquid hydrogen could perhaps
end up powering a few executive jets…
but not aviation as we know it.”
Even “green hydrogen” loses its lustre
upon closer inspection. The process of
electrolysis used to produce hydrogen
from water is currently expensive –
which might explain why only 1 per
cent of the world’s hydrogen supply is
produced this way. The Financial Times
reported in 2021 that when it comes to
green hydrogen, there is “scepticism
over its efficiency and whether enough
can be made using renewable electricity
at a commercially viable price”.
Haldane did not think we would
have useful hydrogen-powered planes
until 2323. If companies like Universal
Hydrogen are to be believed, we could
beat his projection by about three
centuries. But the arguments of the
hydrogen sceptics are difficult to ignore:
they are based on the basic science
of how hydrogen works – and the
inescapable fact that you need an awful
lot of hydrogen to get your plane any
appreciable distance.
Maybe we won’t have to wait 300
years for a hydrogen holiday – but it
could still be a lot longer yet.

TRANSPORT

Train company’s
cancellations soar
The train operator TransPennine
Express (TPE) cancelled nearly a
quarter of its services in a month.
The Office of Rail and Road said
the FirstGroup-owned company’s
cancellation rate for the four weeks
to 4 March fell from 7.2 per cent
to 23.8 per cent when adjusted to
include pre-cancellations stemming
from a train crew shortages.
TPE, which operates in northern
England and Scotland, has been hit
by drivers no longer volunteering
for paid overtime. A recovery plan
from TPE, whose contract ends
in May, is being looked at by the
Department for Transport.

PEOPLE

Irwin reveals frailty
in cancer update
The television presenter Jonnie
Irwin said that he celebrated his
50th birthday early as he provided
an update on his terminal cancer.
Irwin, 49, who hosted Channel
4’s A Place In The Sun and the BBC’s
Escape To The Country, said in
November that he had lung cancer
which had spread to his brain.
He told The Sun: “I’m weak now,
fragile, and my memory is terrible…
but I’m still here.”
Irwin (above), who has three
children with his wife, Jessica, said:
“I tried to play football the other
day... I felt like a granddad. And that
broke me a bit.”

COURTS

Speedboat accident
skipper avoids jail
The family of a 15-year-old girl
fatally injured in a speedboat
crash have tearfully described the
moment her life support was turned
off as the skipper and company
owner avoided jail.
Emily Lewis died after the
boat collided with a buoy in
Southampton Water in 2020.
Skipper Michael Lawrence,
55, was found not guilty of
manslaughter, but guilty of failing
to maintain a proper lookout and
failing to proceed at a safe speed.
Owner Michael Howley, 52, was
convicted of not operating safely.
They were sentenced to 18 weeks
in custody suspended for two years.

34

NEWS

IRAQ

Iraq unstable and
corrupt 20 years
after US invasion
By Emma Reynolds

Twenty years after the invasion of
Iraq, the country is struggling with
corruption, poverty and a lack of
basic services that has seen waves of
protesters flood the streets.
President George Bush ordered
the invasion of 20 March 2003 in
what was touted as a bid to free Iraq’s
people and locate weapons of mass
destruction – but none were found.
And the nation is still not free,
according to analysis of political
and civil rights by Freedom House,
a non-profit organisation based in
Washington, DC.
Mohammed Zuad Khaman, 18,
says war and poverty caused him to
miss years of school. He earns about
£8 a day waiting on tables at his family’s kebab café in Baghdad.
“If only I could get to London, I
would have a different life,” he said.
A Gallup index ranks Iraq as the
world’s third most unhappy country.

The invasion brought a new class
of politicians to power, many exiles
who returned to vie for the top jobs,
with corruption becoming endemic.
Sunni-Shia sectarianism saw civil
war plague Iraq from 2006 to 2007.
In October Mohammed Shia alSudani became Iraq’s prime minister with the support of a coalition
of pro-Iranian Shia parties. He has
vowed to build trust in government
and create tangible results in terms
of job opportunities, services, and
social justice, while restoring regional relations and mediating between
Shias, Sunnis and Kurds.
Jafar al-Hussaini, a spokesman for
the pro-Iranian Shiite militia Ketaib
Hezbollah, told AP that the US sold
Iraq a promise of democracy but had
failed to deliver infrastructure, electricity, housing, schools or security.
“Twenty years after the war, we
look towards building a new state,”
he said. “Our project is ideological,
and we are against America.”

Mountain
lake dries
up in winter
drought

Pleasure boats sit marooned on the
banks of Lake Montbel in south-western
France yesterday. The tourist spot at
the foot of the Pyrenees is famous for
its turquoise waters, massive size and
thriving aquatic life.
But as spring nears, the landscape has

largely turned into a muddy wasteland
because France’s driest winter in 64
years has kept the lake from filling up.
Like most of Europe, the country is
in the grip of a winter drought that is
prompting growing concerns about
water security. REUTERS

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

35

SPAIN

From a whisper to more cream:
top pastry chef gets voice back
By Graham Keeley
IN MADRID

He is one of the world’s foremost
pastry chefs, but for the past seven
years Jordi Roca has struggled to
explain his creations because of a
rare condition that meant his voice
was reduced to little more than
a whisper.
He is one of the three Roca brothers who created El Celler de Can
Roca, the Spanish restaurant in
Girona with three Michelin stars,
which was twice named best in
the world.
Now, after years of therapy, medication and family support, he has regained his voice– a result he largely
attributes to “the love of his family”.
“Last night I read five stories to
my daughter,” the chef said in a post
on his Instagram page. “You don’t
know how happy it makes me to
make this video. I did this through
vocal re-education, breathing exercises, medication, a little of everything, everything has helped, but
above all the love of my family.”
Roca suffered from spasmodic
dysphonia, a condition for which a

cause is not known. It is thought to
stem from psychological stress and
can affect the voice.
He realised something was wrong
during a visit with his brothers Joan
and Josep Roca to New York in 2016.
“One day you realise that you have
not got a voice and you become obsessed with getting it back,” he said.
“During all this time, I have had ups
and downs in my voice. When this
happened, it cost me a lot to speak.
I want to thank so many people for
their help.”

After seven years of treatment,
medication and ‘love from his family,
Jordi Roca has found his voice again

In 2019, the Roca brothers sought
to follow in the footsteps of Samuel
Johnson and James Boswell, who
travelled across Scotland more than
200 years ago and produced a classic
travel book that revealed a country
where tartan was banned and whisky was drunk before breakfast.
Between them, they published the
acclaimed Journey to the Western Isles
of Scotland in 1775 and The Journal of
a Tour of the Hebrides with Samuel
Johnson in 1785
Johnson, the writer of the original
Oxford English Dictionary, had never
left London until he accompanied his
friend over the border.
The Roca brothers wanted to embark on a gastronomic version of the
famous journey, devising recipes
using traditional Scottish food and
drink using their know-how picked
up from living near the Mediterranean hundreds of miles away.
The siblings met chefs, cheesemakers and fishermen, among
others, sampling various foods
including haggis, salmon and
lobster – resulting in a cookbook
based on the experience called
Distilling Scotland.

Blake Johnston set the world record on Cronulla beach in Sydney AFP/GETTY

AUSTRALIA

Forty-hour surf breaks world record
By Victoria Craw

An Australian surfer set a world
record by surfing continuously
for 40 hours to raise awareness of
youth mental health initiatives.
Blake Johnston said he was
“pretty cooked” yesterday at
Cronulla beach in Sydney.
He beat the previous record
by nearly 10 hours, braving
potential jellyfish stings and
shark attacks. Hundreds of

people gathered on the beach
to watch the father of two
raise more than A$200,000
(£110,000) for the Chumpy
Pullin Foundation.
The charity was established
to honour former Olympic
champion snowboarder Alex
“Chumpy” Pullin, who drowned
on the Gold Coast in 2020.
“Everyone deserves to feel
awesome,” said the former
pro surfer.

36

NEWS

Panorama

Around the
world in
10 stories
THAILAND

UNITED STATES

Judge takes over
Trump papers
investigation
By Jacqueline Thomsen
IN WASHINGTON

A new judge was taking over
leadership of the US trial court
in Washington yesterday,
inheriting oversight of
secret proceedings involving
criminal investigations into

Enforced pensions reform
leads to violence on streets
By Noémie Olive and
Ingrid Melander
IN PARIS

MONTENEGRO

Opposition tries Pro-West leader
to rally support faces ballot test
Thailand’s main opposition
party paraded parliamentary
candidates yesterday and
outlined its policy pledges in a
show of confidence ahead of the
approaching general election.
Several thousand supporters
clad in red cheered and waved
banners as the 400 candidates
of the Pheu Thai party
marched behind flag-bearers
into a stadium on the outskirts
of Bangkok.
Pheu Thai is closely linked
to Thaksin Shinawatra, the
former prime minister ousted
by a military coup in 2006. AP

FRANCE

Montenegro is holding a presidential election tomorrow, a vote taking
place amid a political stalemate that
has stalled the small Nato member’s
bid to join the European Union and
questions about whether it will align
more closely with Serbia and Russia.
Analysts predict that the election will not produce a clear winner
and that pro-Western incumbent
Milo Djukanovic, 61, will face one of
several challengers in a run-off two
weeks later.
An alliance dominated by parties
seeking closer ties with Serbia and
Russia ousted Mr Djukanovic’s party
from power in 2020. AP

former president Donald
Trump’s retention of classified
documents and efforts by him
and his allies to undo his 2020
election loss.
James Boasberg is the chief
judge for the US District Court
for the District of Columbia,
taking over responsibility for
issues that may arise in special
counsel investigations involving
Mr Trump.
A US district judge, Casey
Cooper, said that Mr Boasberg
was “exactly the sort of
independent thinker you would
want in that position”. REUTERS

The French President, Emmanuel
Macron, faces the gravest challenge
to his authority since the so-called
“Yellow Vest” protests, after his decision to push through a contested
pensions overhaul without a vote led
to violent unrest on Thursday night.
Cars were set on fire in Paris and
other cities during otherwise peaceful demonstrations involving several thousand people. Trade unions
urged workers to step up and briefly
blocked the Paris ring road yesterday.
“Something fundamental hap-

Postcard
From...
Rome

Romans hope that an
alignment of the stars will halt
a generations-long decay of the
Eternal City that is as beautiful
as it is disorganised.
After years of declining
investments, billions of euros
of EU, state and private funds
are pouring into Italy’s capital
ahead of a series of events
that could overwhelm the city
without swift intervention.
Rome generates more than
9 per cent of national output.
The first big draw tees
off in September when the
Ryder Cup, pitting Europe’s
best golfers against their US
counterparts, is staged near

Giselda Vagnoni

pened ...immediately, spontaneous
mobilisations took place throughout
the country,” said Jean-Luc Mélenchon, the former leader of the hard-

Protesting
on foot
Palestinians in Gaza
City take part in an
unofficial marathon
yesterday to denounce
killings of Palestinians
by the Israeli army and
to support Palestinians
in Israeli jails. The
event was held on the
same day as the official
Jerusalem Marathon
attended by 30,000
runners from Israel and
across the globe.
HAZEM BADER/AFP/GETTY

AFRICA

Cyclone kills hundreds of people in trail of destruction
By Wanjohi Kabukuru
and Vitus-Gregory Gondwe

Officials are still getting to grips with
the scale of Cyclone Freddy’s destruction in Malawi and Mozambique, with
more than 370 people killed, hundreds missing and tens of thousands
displaced since last Saturday.
Yesterday, authorities in Malawi

said the storm killed at least 326 people, with 200 missing. Hundreds of
evacuation centres have been set up
for survivors, and President Lazarus
Chakwera declared a 14-day mourning period on Thursday.
In Mozambique, at least 53 people
were killed and 50,000 displaced. The
death toll in both nations is expected
to continue to climb.
Cyclone Freddy dissipated on

Wednesday after it made second
landfall in both countries.
Both Malawi and Mozambique
were facing a cholera outbreak before the cyclone and there are fears
that flooding could worsen the spread
of water-borne diseases.
Cyclone Freddy has ravaged southern Africa since late February, when
it pummelled Mozambique, Madagascar and Réunion. AP

LEBANON

VIETNAM

GERMANY

Bank governor
on trial for graft

Facebook user Education chief
seized for posts to visit Taiwan

Lebanon’s central bank governor
arrived at court yesterday for a
second hearing with investigators
looking into whether he embezzled
huge sums of public funds.
Riad Salameh, 72, is being
investigated alongside his
brother Raja in Lebanon and in
at least five European countries
over accusations that they stole
hundreds of millions of dollars
from the nation’s coffers. They
deny wrongdoing. REUTERS

Police in Vietnam have arrested a
Facebook user accused of “attempting to overthrow the state” by sharing content that defamed leaders of
the ruling Communist Party.
Phan Thi Thanh Nha, 39, was accused of sharing items seeking to
“distort and defame leaders of the
Communist Party and state,” the
public security ministry said.
Despite economic reform, the
party retains tight censorship and
tolerates little criticism. REUTERS

IN BLANTYRE, MALAWI

Rome, attracting well-heeled
visitors. Their numbers will
be dwarfed in 2025 when the
city welcomes an anticipated
30 million tourists for a Holy
Year, when Roman Catholics
traditionally flock in to gain
indulgences, which, they
believe, may speed their
passage to heaven.
An extraordinary Holy Year
is also scheduled for 2033 to
mark the 2,000th anniversary
of the death and resurrection
of Jesus Christ. Rome is
praying that in the meantime
its bid to stage the Expo world
fair in 2030 proves successful.
“Rome has all this pent-up
energy that has been wasted
for years but that can finally
be released,” said Lorenzo
Tagliavanti, the president
of Rome’s chamber of
commerce. REUTERS

The French government is forcing
dustmen in Paris back to work after
a strike against the pension reforms
left streets piled with stinking waste

left France Unbowed party. “It goes
without saying I encourage them,”
Mr Mélenchon added.
The pensions overhaul raises
France’s retirement age by two years
to 64, which the government says is
essential to ensure the system does
not go bust.
However, citizens are deeply attached to keeping the retirement age
at 62, which is among the lowest in
Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development countries.
More than eight out of 10 people
are unhappy with the decision to skip
a vote in parliament, and 65 per cent
want strikes and protests to continue, a poll showed. REUTERS

Germany’s education minister
will visit Taiwan next week, a
spokesman confirmed, as Berlin
reviews its previously close ties
with China.
A visit to Taiwan in January by
a delegation from the liberal Free
Democrats, the smallest party in
Chancellor Olaf Scholz’s coalition,
led to protests from Beijing.
But a source said Bettina StarkWatzinger would not be meeting
President Tsai Ing-wen. REUTERS

V1

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

37

News in brief
WORLD FOCUS

HONG KONG

We don’t
see eye
to eye

Boy band Mirror
make English debut
Hong Kong’s most popular boy
band, Mirror, released their first
English-language song yesterday.
The 12-member group are part
of a new wave of local singers being
embraced by Hongkongers at a
time when the city has been beset
by the Covid pandemic and political
challenges from mainland China.
The new single “Rumours” is
sexy and sensual, according to
singer Ian Chan, and is in stark
contrast to their earlier Cantonese
hits which conveyed an image of “a
bunch of kids”. Their energetic new
track shows that they have become
men, Chan added.

Seventy per cent of
penguin marriages end
in divorce, according to
Professor Dee Boersma,
who has spent a lifetime
studying the birds.
By Daniel Bates

P

rofessor Dee Boersma is, by
her own admission, “madly in
love” with penguins. She has
spent half a century travelling
to the ends of the Earth to
study, tag and monitor the flightless bird
in the hope of preserving it.
The academic recently returned
from Punta Tombo in Argentina
on her annual visit for a project she
began in 1982 studying the Magellanic
penguin. And this year she will visit
the Galápagos islands to continue a
programme encouraging the breeding
of the Galápagos penguin which began
when she was still a graduate student.
Professor Boersma says her longterm research is also “essential” for
a wider purpose – understanding the
impact of climate change.
In Punta Tombo, the Magellanic
penguin population is 50 per cent less
than in 1987 because of a scarcity of
food. “You have to follow individual
penguins over a long period of time,” she
says. “People are not patient and our
funding is not secure year to year, so it
takes a crazy person like me to stick at
it. Without this long-term tagging,
we’d have no idea that penguins
live for more than 30 years.”
When Professor Boersma,
a biologist at the University of
Washington state in Seattle,
started her Argentinian project
she expected it to last three
years. Her plan was to take a
census of the 200,000 pairs of
Magellanic penguins, a species
which was – and continues to be
– classified as near threatened.
She and her small team of
graduate students have put
bands on many penguins
during their annual threeweek-long visits. The result is
an extraordinary treasure trove

Dee Boersma began studying
Magellanic penguins in 1982

They throw
themselves
in and
are off to
Uruguay,
Argentina
or Brazil.
I wouldn’t
do that

MOZAMBIQUE

Marches planned
to honour rapper

of data which shows that the population
has shrunk to just 110,000 mating pairs.
Climate change has forced the
penguins to seek food in different parts
of the continent: one chick Professor
Boersma’s team banded 20m from its
nest wasn’t seen for 17 years – until it
was found breeding in San Lorenzo,
more than 150 miles to the north.
Professor Boersma said: “We think
about global warming and [think], ‘If
anything, shouldn’t the penguins be
going south?’ But ours go north.
“They’re following the anchovy or the
hake. Food drives most of this planet –
and penguins are no different.”
Another threat to the population is
that it is aging. Many of the penguins are
20 or 30 years old, which makes them
senior citizens in penguin years.
The project in the Galápagos has been
just as remarkable. Professor Boersma
was a graduate student studying on the
islands when she noticed the Galápagos
penguin, an endangered species which
needs shade to nest, was being forced to
lay eggs on the bare lava rock.
It took another 28 years before she
was able to follow through on an idea
she had, with the help of Galápagos
biologist Godfrey Merlen. Using
crowbars and hammers, they chiselled
out 124 nests from the rocks which the
penguins began to use.
Now, 12 years later, around 80 of the
nests are still in operation and while
Professor Boersma does not know
the number of Galápagos penguins,
there has been a clear increase
from the 5,000 that marked a low
point when a particularly strong El
Niño weather event halved their
population in 1982.
Despite its beautiful location,
the work on the Galápagos is far
from glamorous and involves
weeks on Mr Merlen’s boat,
Ratty, which fits four – with
one person sleeping on deck.
They work solidly from

sunrise until 6pm when the light goes,
sometimes not even stopping for lunch.
The work has at times been dramatic,
such as when a cliff collapsed beneath
Professor Boersma while she was
holding two penguins. Everyone
survived unscathed.
Then there was the time she fell on
the lava on Santa Cruz island and cut
her knee. Professor Boersma needed
a penicillin shot but doctors warned
that she risked hepatitis because they
reused the needles. Opting for pills
instead, her knee had swelled to the size
of a grapefruit by the time she got back
to America – where she was diagnosed
with a staphylococcus infection. “I was
lucky I didn’t die,” she said.
Professor Boersma is happy to use her
status as a grand dame of penguins to
tell people about dangers to the planet.
“Are we hoovering up whole oceans? Yes
we are. Can wildlife outcompete human
fisheries given we have eight billion
people in the world? No.”
While she would happily continue
her work indefinitely, she begrudgingly
admits that, at 76, she “can’t do this for
ever”. “But the thing about my work
is I like teaching and I love penguins –
and I find my research fascinating.”
And the decades she has spent
studying the birds brings insights that
might otherwise be missed. “They
have individual personalities, some are
crotchety, they have bad days,” she said.
“They have an incredible divorce rate
and 71 per cent of their first marriages
end in divorce. The females are much
more likely to remarry.”
Even now, watching penguin chicks
that are just two months old walking
to the sea for their first swim still gives
her a thrill. “Some of them look around
and hesitate,” she said. “Then they
throw themselves in and they’re off to
Uruguay, Northern Argentina or Brazil.
“I wouldn’t do that. I don’t have that
leap of faith. That’s what has captured
me, penguins are so much like people.”

Marches are planned across
Mozambique today to honour
Azagaia, a popular protest rapper
and fierce government critic, who
died last week at the age of 38
following an epileptic seizure.
The nationwide demonstrations
follow Azagaia’s funeral procession
on Wednesday, in which thousands
of people (below) marched through
the capital, Maputo, chanting
protest slogans such as “resistance”
and “power to the people”.
Police used tear gas to disperse
crowds as they tried to carry his
coffin past Ponta Vermelha, the
president’s official residence. AP

BELGIUM

Buddhism becomes
an official religion
Belgium officially recognised
Buddhism as a non-denominational
worldview yesterday after the
country’s council of ministers
approved a draft law that will open
the door to federal funding, official
delegates and school classes.
The Belgian Buddhist Union
estimates that the number of
Buddhists in Belgium is 150,000.
The only other EU country where
Buddhism is recognised is Austria
The federal justice minister
Vincent Van Quickenborne, said:
“This community has proven that
it can structure itself in an orderly
manner, both administratively
and representatively.”

7 days

7 days

39

The stories that shaped the news

What we
learned
this week
has unveiled a prototype of the
spacesuits (main) that will be worn
on its next mission to the Moon
in 2025. The next-generation
spacesuits, designed by Texasbased Axiom Space,will feature
‘the range of motion and flexibility
needed to explore more of the lunar
landscape’, according to Nasa. The
new suits will ‘fit a broad range of
crew members, accommodating at
least 90 per cent of the US male and
female population’.

Not a lot of people know this

Thousands of euro one cent coins
have been used to create a mosaic
portrait of Sir Michael Caine, in his
role as British spy Harry Palmer,
to celebrate the veteran actor’s
90th birthday. Artist Ed Chapman
said: ‘I chose to make Sir Michael
using euro one cents (below) as
they’re smaller than pennies, so
can create more detail.’

Healthy eating People who
have a Mediterranean diet rich in
fruit, nuts, seafood, whole grains
and vegetables are significantly
less likely to develop dementia,
according to scientists. After
accounting for genetic risks for the
condition, researchers discovered
that people who followed a
strict Mediterranean diet
had a 23 per cent lower
risk of developing
dementia than those
who did not. The
findings, published
in the journal ‘BMC
Medicine’, are based
on data from more
than 60,000 people
on the UK Biobank – an
online database of medical
and lifestyle records from more
than half a million Britons.
Remote working The UK Antarctic
Heritage Trust has launched a

recruitment drive to find people
willing to spend five months
working at Port Lockroy on Goudier
Island, Antarctica – some 9,000
miles from the UK. There is no
access to Wi-Fi or running water
at the remote outpost (inset below),
which is home to the world’s most
southern Post Office.

Lung disease
breakthrough More

than 500 new genes
have been linked to
lung function for the
first time, allowing
scientists to better
understand lung
disease. The discovery
will help in treating
conditions such as chronic
obstructive pulmonary disease and
asthma. Professor Martin Tobin,
from the Department of Population
Health Sciences at the University
of Leicester, said: ‘It’s a huge step in
the number of associated genetic
variants that we’ve discovered.
Our genetic findings can be used to
generate individual risk scores that
could personalise medicine.’

Green light for green energy The

Welsh government has approved
plans for a floating offshore
wind farm off the Pembrokeshire
coast that will produce enough
power for 93,000 homes. Seven
14-megawatt turbines will be built
on floating platforms anchored
to the seabed 40km from shore.
Construction of the first offshore
wind farm in Wales is set to begin in
January 2025, with the turbines in
operation by the end of 2026. Future
phases of the development could
generate enough power for four
million homes.

Falling down The UK has
plummeted down the global
rankings for life expectancy,
researchers from the University of
Oxford and the London School of
Hygiene and Tropical Medicine have
found. In 1952, people in the UK had
one of the longest life expectancies
in the world, ranking seventh
globally. By 2021, the UK had fallen
to 29th, according to analysis
published in the ‘Journal of the
Royal Society of Medicine’. Over the
past 70 years, the UK has done worse
than all G7 countries except the US.
Historic art An art exhibition

showcasing the human cost of the
Troubles in Northern Ireland will be
displayed at Stormont next month
to mark the 25th anniversary of the
Good Friday Agreement. ‘Silent
Testimony’, by Colin Davidson,
features 18 portraits depicting the
perspectives of people who suffered
loss during the Troubles.

Bill blunder The BBC has

apologised to Joan Lawrence,
whose daughter Claudia has been
missing for 14 years, after it sent
demands for licence fee payments
to her daughter’s old address. Mrs
Lawrence said: ‘I just wish they’d
think before they do these things,
because it can be hurtful.’

Facebook founder flounders

Mark Zuckerberg, chief executive
of Meta, which owns Facebook,
Instagram and WhatsApp, has
revealed plans to cut 10,000
jobs. The move comes after
the company’s growth ‘slowed
considerably’ last year. In a memo to
staff, he said that the redundancies
‘will mean saying goodbye to
talented and passionate colleagues’.

FILM
Brendan Fraser
won the Oscar
for Best Actor, for
his portrayal of
morbidly obese
recluse Charlie
in The Whale.

CULTURE
Stormzy, Dua
Lipa, Tracey Emin,
Barbara Kingsolver
and Richard
Osman are among
this year’s line-up
at the Hay Festival.

1 West End star Ruthie Henshall
is set to appear on which soap?
2 Uber is trialling free what to
help its drivers?
3 Which former prime minister is
to publish a book about the abuse of
power in the UK?
4 The first set of stamps to
bear Charles III’s silhouette will
feature what?
5 Which US sandwich chain is
planning a $1bn expansion into
Europe and Asia?
6 Avril Lavigne confronted a
topless woman protesting against
what at the Juno Awards, the
Canadian equivalent of the Brits?
7 Fiona Bruce stepped back from
her role with which charity after
a Question Time brouhaha?
8 Popular cough and cold
medicines containing which
ingredient have been withdrawn?
9 Citizens of which global city
handed in cash and lost possessions
totalling a value of £24.5m to police
over the past year?
10 Which bank had a “Lehman
moment” as its shares fell 26 per
cent to a record low?
Answers below

it’s been a good week...
HONOURS
Queen guitarist Sir
Brian May received
a knighthood from
King Charles III at
Buckingham Palace,
for services to
music and charity.

iNewsQuiz

SPORT
Midfielder Aaron
Ramsey, who plays
for Nice, has been
announced as the
new captain of
the Wales men’s
football team.

MUSIC
Yusuf/Cat Stevens
is to release his
17th album – a
decade in the
making – days
before he plays
Glastonbury.

RETAIL
Nish Kankiwala,
ex-chief executive
of Hovis, has been
appointed the first
chief executive
of the John Lewis
Partnership.

DIPLOMACY
Senior civil
servant Edward
Hobart has been
named the UK’s
ambassador to
the United
Arab Emirates.

iNewsQuiz answers 1. Coronation
Street. 2. Childcare. 3. Theresa May.
4. Flowers. 5. Chick fil-A. 6. Housing
developments on green belt land.
7. Refuge. 8. Pholcodine. 9. Tokyo.
10. Credit Suisse.

Astronaut makeover Nasa

7 days

COMPILED BY
JONATHAN OWEN

i

Puzzles p47 l 7-day TV guide p54 l Gardening p68 l itravel p71

50 things to
look forward
to this spring
From longer evenings
to a bonus bank holiday
and the return of food
and music festivals.
By Emily Cope

SENSE OF OPTIMISM
“Spring is the most uplifting
season, as it follows on from winter,
when many people experience
symptoms of seasonal affective
disorder,” says Lowri DowthwaiteWalsh, senior lecturer in
psychological interventions at the
University of Central Lancashire.
“More sunlight increases serotonin
release in the brain, which is
associated with more positive
emotions, and can help to reduce
feelings of depression.
“The change in weather also
brings life to green spaces. The
sight of green grass, newborn
chicks and blooming flowers can
instil a sense of hope and optimism
as we come out of winter.”

AL FRESCO DINING
While we love cosying up at the pub
with a crackling fire, lighter and

warmer evenings mean pub
gardens and al fresco dining are
on the horizon. Who doesn’t love
tucking into a burger and chips
while outside in the sunshine?

STARGAZING
This month brings the transition

from winter to spring and is a great
time to see the bright stars and
constellations both seasons have
to offer. Plus, the warmer evenings
means outdoor stargazing is more
enjoyable. Look out for Auriga,
home to the sixth-brightest star
Capella, as well as bright star Sirius
in the constellation of Canis Major,
twice the size of the Sun, which lies
around eight light years away.
Looking east, the spring
constellation of Leo (the lion) is
now above the horizon, with the
heart of the lion depicted by bright
star Regulus, a four-star system
around 80 light years away.

30 DAYS WILD RETURNS
One of the UK’s most popular
nature challenges will be back in
June. The Wildlife Trusts’ 30 Days
Wild event inspires people across
the UK to try one “random act
of wildness” every day for 30 days,

be it listening to bird song or
identifying a wildflower.

SEASONAL FRUITS
AND VEGETABLES
With spring comes a whole host
of seasonal fruits and vegetables,
and eating seasonally can do
wonders for your health.
“When harvested and sold in
season, fruits and vegetables are
often at their optimal nutrient
value and best taste,” says
Rhiannon Lambert, registered
nutritionist and author of The
Science of Nutrition.
“Dark leafy green veg such as
kale, spinach and cavolo nero are
high in calcium, which we need for
bone health, as well as essential
micronutrients such as vitamin K,
vitamin C, folate and iron.
“Strawberries are also very high
in vitamin C, which we need to
support our immune system, while

rhubarb contains antioxidants, fibre
and vitamin K. Why not try to pick a
new ingredient to try each week?”

BIRD SONG
The sound of bird song is one of
the first welcome signs that spring
has sprung. Each bird species has
its own unique song, so listen out
for robins (which tend to sing first
thing in the morning), great tits
(two sharp notes – higher and then
lower), wrens (loud and warbling),
chiffchaffs (a gentle, plodding song)
and chaffinches (a loud trill that
descends into a little flourish).

EUROVISION COMES
TO THE UK
After decades of disappointment,
we have Sam Ryder’s success to
thank for Eurovision coming to
the UK, on behalf of Ukraine, for
the first time since 1998. Mae
Muller (left) will represent us

42

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Continued from p41

when the annual song contest lights
up Liverpool in May, so get ready
for catchy songs, outrageous outfits
and plenty of flag-waving.

GARDENING
Now is a great time for the greenfingered, with March and April
bringing the perfect opportunity
to plant perennials, sow hardy
annuals such as marigolds and
plant summer-flowering bulbs such
as lilies and gladioli.

MORE SLEEP
Longer days and more sunlight can
also mean better sleep (above right),
which will come as a welcome relief
to many. “To boost the benefits of
spring’s positive influence on your
sleep, get outside in the morning,”
suggests Theresa Schnorbach,
sleep scientist at Emma: The
Sleep Company. “Exposure to
daylight helps to keep the rhythms
of our body clock in sync with our
environment, boosting nocturnal
melatonin production, which
signals to your body that it is time
to sleep. Similarly, it increases the
morning production of the steroid
hormone cortisol, which helps you
to feel refreshed.”

DAFFODILS
The national flower of Wales is a
classic spring flower and can be
found blooming from February
through to May, so keep an eye out
for those first signs of spring.

LOGAN vs KENDALL’S
FINAL SHOWDOWN
Many of us have been waiting on
tenterhooks since the last explosive
episode of Succession. The fourth
and final series of the hit HBO show
kicks off on 27 March. But who will
come out on top? Patriarch Logan
Roy, pitiable Kendall, ruthless Shiv
or black sheep Tom?

OUTDOOR SWIMMING
For those of us not into cold water
therapy, outdoor swimming in
(slightly) warmer waters is back
on the cards. There are a number
of new lidos opening across the
UK, including the Cleveland Pool
in Bath (which was built in 1815 and
has undergone a £9.3m renovation)
as well as a 50m lido along the
beachfront in Brighton. And the
best bit? It’s heated. clevelandpools.
org.uk, sealanesbrighton.co.uk

ASCOT SPRING
FAMILY RACE DAY
The historic racecourse’s first
family race day of 2023 comes
with a host of thrilling races and
themed activities, including face
painting, pony rides, arts and crafts,
walkabout ducks, jugglers and
sheepdog demonstrations. From £25,
under-18s go free, ascot.com

MOVIE MAGIC

SPRING CLEANING
The season to throw open all the
windows, “Marie Kondo” your
wardrobe and start loading up
boxes for donation is upon us.
According to clinical psychologist
Dawn Potter, PsyD, decluttering
isn’t just good for our homes, it
can lift our mood by giving a sense
of accomplishment. Plus, the
movement counts as exercise.

RACE FOR LIFE CELEBRATES
30 YEARS
Cancer Research is marking 30
years of Race for Life this year,
with running events throughout
the spring. Lace up your trainers
and sign up for a 5k or a 10k, which
you can walk, jog or run, while also
raising money for a great cause.
raceforlife.cancerresearchuk.org

LAMBING SEASON
These days lambing takes place
any time between November and
May – but the birth rate still peaks
in spring. Many farms offer lambing
days, including Snettisham Park
in Norfolk and Coombes Farm in
Sussex, where visitors can bottlefeed lambs (above), watch them play
and take part in themed activities.
On a more macabre note, it is also
the best season for roast lamb...

Cinemagoers will be spoilt for
choice this spring with the
release of Dungeons and Dragons:
Honor Among Thieves (31 March),
Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 3
(5 May) and live-action musical
The Little Mermaid (26 May).

THE FRENCH OPEN
One of professional tennis’s biggest
events runs from 28 May to 11
June. Seeing the best players in the
world take to the clay courts is a
nice primer for fellow Grand Slam
tournaments Wimbledon and the
US Open in the summer.

BETTER MEMORY
“Not only do lighter evenings
and more temperate weather
help our moods, they can also
greatly improve our cognitive
function, leading to improved
concentration and memory,” says
Lowri Dowthwaite-Walsh.

DRESSES, DENIM JACKETS
AND SHORTS

BUTTERFLIES
The onset of March means the first
butterflies will be coming out of
hibernation. You are most likely to
spot a peacock, small tortoiseshell
or a red admiral, but also look out
for an early brimstone or comma,
which enjoy relaxing in sunny
sheltered spots.

Pack away your winter coats,
tights and scarves – spring
garments are back in fashion. Strut
your stuff in your very best floral
dresses, denim jackets, sunglasses,
polo shirts and shorts.

QUEEN BUMBLEBEES

EXTRA BANK HOLIDAY
King Charles’s coronation in May
will undoubtedly be a significant
historical event. Whether you are a
monarchist or not, celebrations and
street parties will bring the country
to life – and it’s not every year we get
an extra bank holiday.

EASTER
Speaking of bank holidays, it may
come around every year but who
doesn’t love the four-day Easter
weekend? Get ready to eat as much
chocolate as you can.

HEALTHIER SKIN

Listen out for the bird song of robins first thing in the morning GETTY

Emily Henry’s Happy Place and The
Soulmate by Sally Hepworth.

“Our skin changes in response to
the fluctuations of the seasons, and
while winter weather can cause dry
skin and inflammation, springtime
can be beneficial to skin health,”
says anti-ageing expert Nina Prisk,
of Update Aesthetics. “Sebum
production tends to increase at

this time, helping to keep skin
hydrated and flexible, while lips
are less likely to become dry and
chapped. Low humidity and central
heating during the winter months
can affect the water content of
our skin, causing it to appear dull.
However, with springtime this
water content usually improves, so
skin starts to appear brighter and
less dull.” Just remember to wear
some suncream!

BOOKS GALORE
Bestselling author of The Girls,
Emma Cline, is blessing us with
another psychological thriller in the
form of The Guest, while Jennifer
Saint is publishing her latest Greek
mythology retelling with Atalanta.
Other highly anticipated books
include Kate Morton’s Homecoming,

The beginning of spring also means
the arrival of some very large – and
occasionally dopey – bumblebees. If
you spot one they will be fresh out
of hibernation and on the lookout
for somewhere to nest, so give them
plenty of space.

EUROPEAN HOLIDAYS
With warmer climes closer to home,
holidaymakers don’t have to look
so far afield for a healthy dose of
sunshine. Temperatures in Greece,
Spain, France and Portugal are
perfect for a sun-filled weekend
away. Goodbye jet lag!

TONS OF TV
After an evening stroll, tuck into
a menagerie of TV treats, from an
adaptation of Naomi Alderman’s
bestselling novel The Power (out 31
March) to Marvel’s Secret Invasion
(release tbc) and Netflix’s Queen
Charlotte, which will delve into the
Bridgerton monarch’s intriguing

life

to-sunset fasting of Ramadan. This
year the festival falls on the evening
of Friday 21 April and continues
until the following day, with events
taking place across the UK.

SHOWTOWN BLACKPOOL
OPENS
Branding itself as a “museum of fun
and entertainment”, this all-singing,
all-dancing attraction at Blackpool’s
new Sands Venue Resort Hotel
& Spa celebrates the comedians,
dancers, acrobats and characters
who have brought showbiz to the
seaside town. Opening 1 May,

MUSIC FESTIVALS ARE BACK
Spring means the return of the
great British music festival. Don
your wellies and rain jackets before
picking up a ticket to festivals,
from Mighty Hoopla in London to
Love Saves the Day in Bristol and
Cambridge Club, which boasts
an impressive line-up including
Grace Jones, Lionel Richie and
Billie Ocean.

showtownblackpool.co.uk

SPRING COCKTAILS
With fresh herbs and fruits
springing up in gardens, now is
the time to indulge in lighter, more
floral cocktails than your winter
favourites. Think gin and tonic
with a twist of orange, cherry
spritzes, mint juleps (right) or
a lavender lemon drop.

AND FOOD FESTIVALS
Spring means outdoor feasting,
which sees food festivals come out
of hibernation. There are plenty
to choose from, including Exeter
Food Festival, Tom Kerridge’s Pub
in the Park and Broadstairs Food
Festival in Kent.

MORE TIME SPENT WITH
FRIENDS AND FAMILY
“With more energy and daytime, we
tend to be much more social in the
warmer months, which is crucial
to our mental health,” says Dr Tom
MacLaren, consultant psychologist
at Re:Cognition Health.
“Friendships help to reduce
stress and anxiety, improve selfconfidence and can also help reduce
the risk of many health conditions,
including obesity, high blood
pressure and even dementia.”

THE GRAND NATIONAL
Held at Aintree National Course,
near Liverpool, the Grand National
is a major fixture on the horseracing calendar. Even if you don’t
turn up to place your bets in person,
it’s still great fun to watch on TV,
organise a work sweepstake or just
enjoy the colourful outfits of the
attendees on 15 April.

THE OPENING OF THE
ENGLAND COASTAL PATH
backstory, including her rise to
power and her marriage to King
George (from 4 May).

More time spent with family (above)
can help our mental health; ‘Queen
Charlotte’ (left) arrives in May GETTY

EVENING STROLLS
Increasingly lighter evenings
give us a chance to take a leisurely
stroll in the daylight after work, or
perhaps a bike ride. Any time spent
outdoors is beneficial to your body
and mind.

JUPITER ICY MOONS
EXPLORER LAUNCHES
One of the highly anticipated space
moments of 2023 will see the
launch of the Jupiter Icy Moons
Explorer (or Juice) on 13 April.
“The spacecraft will carry out
mission studies to Jupiter’s moons
and will reach Jupiter in July 2031
after eight years of travel,” says Dr
Atma Prakash, senior lecturer in
aerospace engineering at Teesside
University. “It will eventually enter
the orbit around Ganymede for its
close-up mission, becoming the first
spacecraft to orbit a moon other
than our own.”

out for gardeners. £21.50,

20-23 Apr, flowershow.org.uk

WEDDING SEASON
KICKS OFF
Spring is the one of the most
popular times to get married, and
that means wedding invitations
galore. Enjoy celebrating the lovely
couple with champagne, cake and
a boogie on the dance floor – and
pray it’s an open bar.

The longest continuous hiking
path in the world, winding from the
bottom of Berwick-upon-Tweed in
Northumberland around the south
coast of England, then back up to
Cumbria, this 2,795-mile route is
finally due to be completed this
season. Free, nationaltrail.co.uk/

en_GB/trails/england-coast-path/
route-descriptions

FARMER’S MARKETS
While farmer’s markets are great
all year round, spring is when they
really come into their own. With
seasonal fruits and veg galore and
sunny mornings to spend strolling

Staging the very best in gardening
and horticulture, from spectacular
plant nursery displays and
stunning floral features to talks and
demonstrations plus great garden
shopping, Harrogate’s Spring
Flower Show makes the perfect day

A BIG VITAMIN BOOST

through the stalls, it is a lovely start
to the weekend.

WATCHING SUNRISE
Watching the sun rise can be
a beautiful and therapeutic
experience, helping us to unwind,
relieve stress and providing us
with inspiration – many authors,
painters and poets have used the
sunrise as their muse. Set your
alarm clock early and head outside
with a warm cuppa to make the
most of it.

UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
FINAL AND FA CUP FINAL
Football fans will be happy to
indulge in all the finals heading
their way this spring, from the FA
Cup final on 3 June to the Uefa
Champions League final on 10 June.

THE JUMANJI THEME PARK
WILL BE UNVEILED
This epic park just outside London
will include an iconic Jaguar
shrine just like in the film, which
will stand at 55ft tall, as well as the
world’s only Jumanji rollercoaster,
Mandrill Mayhem. There will
also be two family rides, Mamba
Strike and Ostrich Stampede,
plus six themed bedrooms at the
Chessington Safari Hotel. Opening
spring, chessington.com

BLUEBELLS
Bluebells are in full bloom in
spring, and the delightful flowers
can be seen popping up across the
country. “The wildflowers really
brighten up our woodlands and
make them extra special to walk
through,” says Sarah Callander
Beckett, owner of Combermere
Abbey in Cheshire. “It’s wonderful
watching the woods come alive
with so much colour each year, and
members of the public can join our
bluebell walks throughout spring.”

HARROGATE’S SPRING
FLOWER SHOW

combermereabbey.co.uk

EID AL-FITR

Watch the woods come alive with bluebells throughout spring GETTY

43

Eid al-Fitr, or the Festival of Sweets,
is the religious holiday celebrated
by Muslims worldwide and marks
the end of the month-long dawn-

One of the most well-known
benefits of longer days with more
exposure to sunlight is your body
having an increased production of
vitamin D – but what exactly does
that mean?
“Vitamin D promotes healthy
bones, muscles and teeth, as well
as probably helping to increase
your energy levels and likely
strengthening your immune
system,” explains Dr Brian Fisher,
GP at wellness app Evergreen
Life. “Evidence also suggests that
vitamin D may protect us against
various long term-conditions,
including type 2 diabetes.”

SIR ELTON JOHN’S
FINAL TOUR
With multiple Grammys, more than
70 top 40 hits and more than 300
million records sold worldwide,
Sir Elton John (top left) has well
and truly earned his retirement.
We have been assured this year’s
Farewell Tour will be his last (it’s
been going on since 2018), with
more dates kicking off on 23 March
in Liverpool, before finishing on
8 July in Stockholm. Tickets are
flying, so if you want to see the
legend in action, grab them while
you can. eltonjohn.com/tours

CREATIVITY BURST
A study from the University of
Michigan found that spending time
outside in the warmer weather is
not just a mood booster – it can
also leave you more open to new
information and creative thoughts.
There is no time like the present to
take up a new hobby, or get those
paints out of the loft.

WINE-TASTING
Spring is a transitional season
for wines, marking the shift from
winter dormancy to reawakening
for many winemakers, making it
one of the more interesting times
to go wine-tasting. New releases
include rosé and sauvignon
blanc, as well as pinot noir and
grenache making a comeback with
lighter spring fare.

SUMMER
If spring isn’t quite doing it
for you, at least summer is just
around the corner.

44

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Past its
shelf life
From kettles to toilet brushes, pet bowls
to pillows, we’re all guilty of holding on
to household essentials – but experts
reveal just why it might be high time to
replace some of them. By Emily Cope
EVERY WEEK

Fish tank water

We should replace the water in fish
tanks every week. “Fish health is
directly linked to water quality, so
it’s important to keep on top of tank
maintenance. Each week you should
use a gravel scoop to remove 10-20
per cent of your aquarium’s water
and replace it with dechlorinated
water,” advises Dr Karlien
Heyrman, a vet at Pets at Home.

EVERY MONTH

Cleaning cloths

We use cloths on a
daily basis, which
means they can
quickly become a
breeding ground for
germs and bacteria.
“We should be washing
cleaning cloths after every
use, and switching them out
every four weeks,” advises cleaning
guru Danielle Mason. “You should
always have a different cleaning
cloth for each section of the house.
Washing-up brushes should be
replaced every four weeks.”

Ice cube trays

“It may be surprising, but ice cube
trays need a little maintenance to
keep them germ-free,” says cleaning
expert at Property Rescue, Emily
Barron. “Clean the trays regularly
to remove any debris and replace
the water every month to prevent
the cubes from turning cloudy.”

EVERY THREE MONTHS

Vacuum filter

“This depends on whether you have
pets, as dog or cat hair can block
up filters a lot quicker,” advises
Mason. “I would say change your
filter every three months, because
dust mites can live in there and bad
smells can also build up.”

Mascara

Our eye area is a breeding ground
for bacteria, so mascara (above
right) should be replaced regularly.
“You should change your mascara

every three months,” says founder
of Skin Rocks, Caroline Hirons. “If
you use an expired product, you
could expose yourself to bacteria.”

Make-up brushes

It is important to regularly clean
your make-up brushes to avoid the
build-up of bacteria and product
residue. “If, like most people,
you use your brushes every day,
you need to replace them more
frequently than if you use them
only occasionally,” says
Natalie Yorke, founder
of helloskin. “In some
cases, the higher the
quality of the brush,
the longer they may
last. As a rule, you
should replace your
make-up brushes
every three to six
months. But if you have
had any eye infection or
skin conditions, it is a good
idea to replace your brushes to
avoid reinfection.”

Toothbrush

Many of us may use the same
toothbrush for months, but this can
be damaging to our dental health,
says Dr Sam Jethwa, founder of
Bespoke Smile and vice president
of the British Academy of Cosmetic
Dentistry. “I’d advise changing your
toothbrush, or the head to your
electric toothbrush, every three
to four months,” says Dr
Jethwa. “If your bristles
are splaying, looking
worn-out or feeling
less stiff, then you
should change it as
it won’t be cleaning
effectively. Change
your toothbrush
sooner if you’ve
been unwell to avoid
harbouring germs on
the brush.”

Passwords

There is a lot of debate about how
often to change your passwords
on social media, email and
finance accounts. Some experts
say every 90 days will keep your

A

B

C

B

accounts safe; others think this
is counterproductive. One thing
is certain: change your password
immediately if you discover there
has been a data breach.

essential to keep an eye on when
the product is going out of date.
“You can find the PAO inside the
small jar symbol on SPF bottles,”
explains Hirons. “You should be
using two finger lengths of SPF
daily (rain or shine), so it’s unlikely
you will surpass this. However, if
you continue to use the sunscreen
after this date, the protection
properties deteriorate.”

Pet bowls

Face moisturiser

Household items such as herbs and
spices have long shelf lives – but can
languish in cupboards for years, so
check the expiration dates GETTY

“It is best to replace plastic pet
bowls every few months to avoid
bacteria build-up. However,
ceramic and stainless steel
bowls can last a lifetime
if cared for properly, as
they are much easier
to sanitise,” advises
Dr Heyrman. “Always
clean your pet’s food
and water bowls
after every meal, and
remember to wash them
separately from yours –
even if using a dishwasher – to
minimise the spread of bugs.”

EVERY SIX MONTHS

Hairbrush

A

“People are so unaware that you
should clean your hairbrush

C

“Moisturisers also have a PAO
that you should pay attention to,”
adds Hirons. “Once opened, most
face moisturisers tend to have six
months, but check the packaging.”
often,” says Mason. “Pull the hair
out and leave the brush to soak in
bicarbonate of soda at least once
a month, and then replace every
six months. This prevents bacteria
and oil build-up on the teeth and
ensures your hair doesn’t get greasy
between washes.”

Sunscreen

Sunscreen SPFs (sun protection
factor) tend to have the shortest
PAO (period after opening) of
all skincare products. Due to its
importance in protecting your
skin from harmful UV rays, it is

Car oil

As a general rule, experts suggest
changing your engine oil every
3,000-5,000 miles or approximately
every six months. Depending
on your car’s age, oil type and
driving conditions, you may be
able to change the oil every 7,50010,000 miles, but it’s best to check
your owner’s manual to see the
manufacturer recommendations.

Bras

Even with gentle usage and care, all
bras lose their shape over time. In
fact, experts recommend replacing

life

45

that aren’t ventilated,” says Aggie
MacKenzie, from How Clean is Your
House? and author of The Miracle of
Vinegar. “If you have a cheap one
and it doesn’t cost much to replace,
I’d suggest throwing them away as
soon as they are starting to look
grubby or mouldy, which can be
after six months. But you can wash
them in the washing machine to
make them last longer.”

Shower head

Shower heads can be a hotbed of
germs. A study by the University of
Colorado Boulder found the warm
and wet conditions lead shower
heads to develop a collection of
bacteria and fungi, known as
biofilm. Then, every time we
shower, the hot water disperses this
scum into the air. For this reason,
it is recommended to replace your
shower head every six to eight
months. However, they
can last a lot longer with
regular cleaning.

Toilet brush

Perhaps the most
disgusting part of
every bathroom,
toilet brushes can
be a serious health
hazard if you aren’t
keeping them cleanly.
Henry Paterson, senior
operations executive at
Housekeep, advises replacing them
every six months, while MacKenzie
says they are not necessary at all.
“There should be a law against
toilet brushes,” says MacKenzie.
“Just use bleach and toilet
paper instead.”

EVERY 1-2 YEARS

Chopping boards

A

B

bras every six months
– or after about 180
wears. “If you have
a large selection of
bras in rotation,
you can go longer
than six months,
especially if you’re
caring for those
bras properly,” says
Ali Cudby, author of Fit
My Bras and founder of Fab
Foundations. “Putting your bras in
the dryer breaks down the elastic
much more quickly, so let them airdry and hand-wash when possible.”

C

Gym trainers

It is generally accepted that
the standard life span of gym
or running trainers (right) is
somewhere between 300 and 500
miles, and lightweight shoes tend
to be somewhere between 250
and 300 miles. If you’re running
20 miles a week, you will probably
need to replace them after four to
six months, advises Runners Need.
However, if you’re less active, then
you can wait longer – or at least
until they start to smell.

Shower curtain

“Shower curtains can get really
grotty, especially in bathrooms

“The marks from knives can
cause bacteria to deepen into
the chopping board and could
potentially lead to contamination of
food, which can be harmful when
preparing meats and fish,”
says Nick Shacklock from
Online-bedrooms.co.uk.
“We’d advise
replacing every year.”

Protective
phone screens

Research shows that
our mobile devices can
be as dirty as a toilet seat,
in particular the front screens.
Many people buy a cover for the
front to prevent the screen from
being damaged, but this can
accumulate bacteria from the

constant typing and swiping, which
is why it is recommended to replace
them once a year.

Cat litter trays

Cat owners know how
important it is to maintain
their pets’ litter tray, as
some cats may refuse
to use it otherwise. But
how often should we
be replacing the tray?
“Litter trays should
be spot-cleaned daily
and once a week you
should replace the
litter and clean out the
tray with hot water and
mild detergent,” says Dr Heyrman.
“It is best to replace a plastic litter
box once a year, or sooner if you
notice it is stained.”

A

B

C

Pillows

“Using your pillow every night
leads to a build-up of dead skin
cells, sweat, oils, saliva, make-up
and allergens, so you should replace
them every one to two years,”
explains sleep expert for And So
to Bed, Dr Lindsay Browning. “Not
replacing often enough can also
cause neck pain due to a lack of
support. You’ll know you need to
replace your pillow when it is flat or
lumpy, or smells and has stains.”

Smoke alarm batteries

Smoke alarms can save lives.
The London Fire Brigade advises
changing the battery every 12
months in a standard smoke alarm.
“Smoke alarm sensors degrade
over time, leading to a reduced
sensitivity in detecting heat or
smoke,” adds a spokesman. “We
would advise buying a smoke alarm
with a 10-year, or long-lasting sealed
battery with a British Standards or
European safety mark.”

Herbs and spices

Dried herbs typically last one
to three years, while ground or
powdered spices will expire in two
to three years according to wellness
website Healthline. Whole spices
have the longest shelf life, lasting
up to four years. Refreshing them
within their expiration date is key
to maintaining the quality, taste and
health benefits.

Medication

Over-the-counter medications such
as antihistamines, paracetamol and
ibuprofen can languish in cabinets
and first aid kits for months, but
they do have a use-by date. “I would

advise people to replace over-thecounter medications as they come
up to their use-by date, which is
usually around one year,” says Dr
Claire Ashley. “It might be
helpful to put a reminder
in your calendar
to double-check
your medications
periodically, and
don’t take anything
that has expired.”

Tupperware

If these handy tubs
aren’t cleaned and
maintained they can be a
breeding ground for bacteria. “Get
into the habit of replacing your
Tupperware every few years – and
more often if it’s used frequently
or is used to store strong, acidic
content,” says Emily Barron.

Bath mats

“Bath mats are a surprisingly
dirty part of bathrooms,” explains
MacKenzie. “They’re touching
soggy feet as well as the bathroom
floor and collecting all the wash-off
from your body when you get in the
shower.” As such, experts suggest
you replace them every two years.

Bath towels

Although we mainly use them once
we are clean, towels pick up a lot
of excess dirt. Paterson advises
switching them for new ones every
one to three years.

Kettles

Over time, kettles gather dirt,
limescale and rust, which
can affect their
performance, ruin the
taste of your daily
cuppa and even
affect your health.
“It’s a good idea
to replace a kettle
every few years,
or before if it shows
signs of wear and
tear, or heavy limescale
build-up,” advises Barron.
“Don’t leave water sitting in it for
more than a couple of days, and
clean the inside once a week.”

Water bottles

“Plastic water bottles can start to
break down after continued use
and need to be replaced about once
a year,” says Leanne Stapf, chief
operating officer at The Cleaning
Authority. “Stainless steel bottles
generally need to be replaced only
due to wear and tear.”

EVERY FIVE YEARS

Carpet

“This depends on how you treat
your carpet and how many
people you have in and
out of your house,” says
Danielle Mason. “Our
shoes carry so much
bacteria, dirt and
germs, it is a good
idea never to wear
shoes in the house.
I shampoo my carpets
every six months and
change them every five
years, although they can
last up to 15 years.”

Toilet seat

“As long as you keep your toilet
bleached, cleaned and sanitised on
a regular basis, they can last five
years,” says Mason. “My cleaning
advice would be to use anti-bac
wipes so they can be thrown away.”

Duvets

“The average duvet should last
five years if it is washed every six
months so stains and odours are
removed,” says Rex Isap, CEO of
Happy Beds. “Keeping a duvet for
too long can cause sweat and dust
mites to build up, as well as dead
skin – we each lose around 300,000
dead skin cells a night.”

Non-stick cookware

“Providing you clean them
properly, you should be able to get
five years usage out of non-stick
pans,” says Mason. “Avoid using
harsh scourers which can scratch
it – if there is stubborn dirt in
a pan, soak it.”

Bike helmets

A cycling helmet
is good for around
five years, advises
Cycles UK. “Of
course, you should also
change your helmet if
you have a crash or even
a small tumble, because this
could compromise the helmet’s
performance,” they add.

EVERY EIGHT YEARS

Mattresses

“Most guidance suggests that
mattresses should be changed
every eight years,” says Hannah
Shore, sleep expert at Silentnight.
“However, materials used now
mean some can last longer. Spring
mattresses last better.”

46

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

I had a baby in
my fifties – and
he has given
us all new life
Lara Kilner hears the story of one
woman beset by family tragedy who now
wants to give hope to others like her

T

wo months after the unimaginable tragedy of her daughter Rosie’s death, Carolyn
­Mayling was standing in the
garden of her home in Berkshire when she realised that the only
way she could face the future would be
to have another baby.
“All of a sudden, I saw this image of a
baby in my head and a voice like Rosie’s
saying, ‘Come on, you can do this.’ After
that, the image just wouldn’t go away. It
wasn’t like I was trying to replace Rosie,
because she was irreplaceable, but the
house was silent, there was this dark
void and I didn’t know how to face the
future,” she says.
Carolyn was already 48 – but she refused to be fazed by this or her loved ones’
opinions. “My now ex-husband, David,
was not really up for it, but he said, ‘If
that’s really what you want, we can see
what happens.’ My mum rolled her eyes
and said, ‘You must be crazy. If it happens, the mums at the school gates will
be so much younger than you. How do
you think this child will feel about having
a much older mum?’”
She also had to talk to Rosie’s sister,
Ellie, who was 14. “It was a difficult age to
confront her with a possibility like that.
She was very close to Rosie. But I felt like
I couldn’t not go ahead with it and that
eventually she would come round.”
Rosie was 11 and rehearsing for a
panto run by the family’s performing
arts school in 2003 when she developed
a cough that wouldn’t shift. “She’d never
been ill; she was a vibrant, lively, healthy
girl. But we ended up having to take her
off the show and she was referred to a
specialist, who said it was asthma and
then pneumonia. Eventually, she had a
CT scan and, within 20 minutes, the consultant found pulmonary embolism on
the arteries going into her lungs. That’s
when it got really scary,” says Carolyn.

Rosie was rushed to hospital, where
she stayed for two months and was diagnosed with vasculitis, an autoimmune
disease where the body cannot fight
infection. “It affected the blood vessels
going into her lungs, so she couldn’t
breathe properly.”
Eventually, Rosie was discharged but,
six days later, had a pulmonary haemorrhage and suffered a cardiac arrest. “She
spent nine days on a ventilator until we
were told there was no hope and we had
to turn off the life support,” says Carolyn. “I remember going to my mum’s
house, because we couldn’t face going
home, and curling up in a ball, rocking.”
Two days later, David suffered a heart
attack and was rushed to hospital. “He
said, ‘I don’t want to live, I want to die.’
And I said, ‘Don’t you dare die, how dare
you say that? You can’t die. We still have
a child. You can’t leave us’.”
Mercifully, David did survive and was
discharged the day before his daughter’s
funeral. “I went on automatic pilot and
thought, ‘I’ve got to get through this.’ Sitting at home rocking wasn’t an option,”
says Carolyn – even when, six weeks
later, there was further sadness when
their dog died. “It was a whole chain of
horrendous events,” she reflects.
Carolyn knew Rosie would want her
family to try to live to the fullest, and so
booked an appointment with her GP to
discuss having a baby, expecting a negative reaction to her age. “Actually, she
said she would back me every inch of the
way and referred me to a clinic in Windsor. The doctor said that if I did conceive
naturally, which was unlikely, the chances are I’d have a child with foetal anomalies, but I could go down the IVF route,
using a donor egg. I went home with the
idea of asking my sister, who is 10 years
younger and, before I even asked, she
said she’d donate her eggs.”
Already having two daughters, Carolyn’s sister wasn’t planning any more,
and after the necessary counselling,
they went through a cycle of IVF. Sadly,
there was more pain when it failed, as
did the second try. “I was convinced that
it would work, but it didn’t, and it was really gutting. By this time, I’d turned 50
and the hospital couldn’t treat us any
more because that was their cut-off age.”
Yet Carolyn was still determined.
“I was probably a bit crazy, but I just
couldn’t give up,” she says. “I had to find
somewhere else to do it and a friend, who
has her own IVF children, recommended a clinic where they treat women over
50. They had a three-year waiting list,
but their sister hospital in Cyprus said
we could start in three months.”

From top: Carolyn
Mayling with baby
Dominic; Rosie (on
left) with her sister
Ellie; Carolyn and
Dominic now

I want to
show people
that they can
come through
loss and, for
women told
they can’t
have children,
there is a way

The next hurdle was the expense. “We
were offered an exclusive batch of eggs,
but the cost was ridiculous. My heart
sank. I thought, ‘I just can’t afford this.’
We had to put it on the back-burner as
we saved up and life went on.”
Carolyn was 53 by the time another
opportunity came along. “The clinic offered us a donor who would do a shared
cycle, which would halve the cost, because half of the eggs would be for another anonymous woman.”
It was an easy decision. “We had the
pre-treatment in London. David sent
his sperm donation, they mixed it with
the egg – which came from a woman in
Moldova – and we were told that as soon
as we got the call, we would have to fly
to Cyprus for the embryo transfer. We
got a call on Saturday and were told to
be at the clinic at 8am on Monday. I hung
upside-down like a fruit bat before they
told me to go home and take it easy.
At the age of 54, Carolyn was pregnant. “I was in disbelief. I showed David,
and he was silent,” she says. “It was the
first time I’d felt happy since Rosie died.”
The stakes were high for this pregnancy. “I did have anxious moments, but I

had this feeling it was all going to be fine,
and I found an amazing obstetrician.”
Carolyn didn’t find the pregnancy any
tougher because of her age. “I remember
when I had Ellie at 33, even then they
wrote ‘geriatric mother’ on my forms.
This time, no one said anything. I had
nothing but support,” she says. “I did
stop working as a tap dancing teacher
early on, but mostly it was the same as
my other two pregnancies.”
Dominic was born in December 2008
by Caesarean section. “I did have a moment when I wondered whether I would
be able to bond with him, but the minute
he was born, there was no doubt.
By the time he arrived, Ellie was 20.
“She took it all in her stride. She looked
into the crib and fell in love. It was a wonderful, tender, special moment. There
was new life. I felt like he was a gift from
Rosie to give us all a future.”
Carolyn, now 68, has never faced any
negativity for having a child so late in
life.“I’ve known an amazing group of
mums since Dominic was at nursery. No
one’s ever thought it was an issue.”
Carolyn sees nothing but the positives
in older motherhood, despite the toll of
everything from the sleepless nights to
the trials of adolescence now Dominic
is 14. “I want to show people, first, that
they can come through loss and, also, for
women who are told they can’t have children, actually, there’s often a way, even in
the most difficult circumstances.
“Being older, I think I’m more appreciative of the little moments. When he was
a baby, I’d just stare into his cot, looking
at him. Now, he has his mates around all
the time and it’s very lively. If I hadn’t
done this, what would I be doing now?
Life would be so quiet.”
The Future is Rosie by Carolyn Mayling
(Alliance Publishing, £11.99) is out now

games puzzles

6 pages
of puzzles

Give your wits a workout with the weekend’s best puzzling package

Jumbo General Knowledge Crossword
ACROSS

11 German author awarded
the 1999 Nobel prize in
literature (6,5)
13 1969 BBC documentary series
subtitled A Personal View by
Kenneth Clark (12)
15 Yorkshire cricketer who
amassed 809 runs in his first
six Test appearances
for England (5,5)
16 Raymond Chandler’s first
original screenplay (3,4,6)
17 A chimpanzee, orang-utan or
gorilla (5,3)
18 Oscar-winning 2016 film
starring Ryan Gosling and
Emma Stone (2,2,4)
19/39 English writer best known
for Swallows and Amazons (6,7)
21 American sitcom starring Fred
MacMurray that ran from 1960
to 1972 (2,5,4)
23 Actor whose film roles include
Sam Mussabini in Chariots of
Fire and Bilbo Baggins in The
Lord of the Rings (3,4)
24 See 31
27 One of the bony segments of
the spinal column (8)
29 2022 film that earned Brendan
Fraser a Best Actor Oscar (3,5)
31/24 Technical name for athlete’s
foot (5,5)
35 French author awarded
the 1947 Nobel prize in
literature (5,4)
36 Drink created by Coca-Cola as a
competitor to 7 Up in 1961 (6)
37 The larger of the two parts of
Lake Constance (7)
39 See 19
40 An opinion or doctrine contrary
to the orthodox tenets of a
church (6)
41 Currency unit of Austria from
1924 to 1938 and from 1945 to
1999 (9)
43 See 48
44 Australian port that is the
capital of Queensland (8)
45 Seaside town in Lincolnshire
that’s “so bracing” according to a
famous 1908 poster (8)
48/43 American singer-songwriter
who had a 1978 top ten hit with
Because the Night (5,5)
50 Kent village that boasts the only
church in the world that has all
its windows in stained glass
designed by Marc Chagall (7)
52 Swedish singer-songwriter
whose debut album, Raw Like
Sushi, was released in 1989 (5,6)
56 Blackcurrant-based soft drink
invented in Bristol in 1933 (6)
57 Wheelchair racer who has
become the 42nd Blue Peter
presenter (4,4)
58 Joint between the upper arm or
forelimb and the main part of
the body (8)
61 1979 Francis Ford Coppola
film based on Joseph Conrad’s
novella Heart of Darkness (10,3)
62 American actor who received a
Golden Globe nomination for
Mask (4,6)
63 Former tabloid editor who
presented the TV series Do They
Mean Us? (5,7)
64 Gremlins actress who married
actor Kevin Kline in 1989 (6,5)
DOWN

1

2

American boxer who won
world titles in five weight
classes between 1977 and
1997 (5,3,7)
Mountainous state of Austria
whose capital is Graz (6)

1

2

3

4

11

5

12

6

7

8

9

10

13
14

15

16

17

18

19

20
21

22

23

24

25
27

28

29

26
30

31

32

33
35

36

34

37

38
39

40

41
42

43

44

46
48

45

47
49

50

51

54

52

53

55

56

57

58

59

60
61

62

63

Card game in which one may
get “one for his nob” (8)
4 Japan’s third-largest city (5)
5 Widescreen process famously
used for the 1962 film How The
West Was Won (8)
6 American actor who won a Best
Actor Oscar for the 1953 film
Stalag 17 (7,6)
7 Valley in which the quest to
destroy the One Ring began in
The Lord of the Rings (9)
8 Thai energy drink company that
began sponsorship of the EFL
Cup in 2017 (7)
9 1853 Charlotte Brontë novel
whose protagonist is Lucy
Snowe (8)
10 Autonomous region of Spain

64

3

12
14
20
22
25
26
28

that was a centre of Moorish
civilisation (9)
Breed of domestic fowl that
originated in America (5,6,3)
In Greek mythology, a Titan
compelled to support the sky
on his shoulders (5)
Mitford sister who had the
middle name Valkyrie (5)
One of two or more words
pronounced differently but
spelt the same (9)
In Greek mythology, the son of
the dawn goddess Eos (8)
Apple’s name for the IEEE 1394
High Speed Serial Bus (8)
American animated sitcom that
has featured guest appearances
by Jon Hamm, Hugh Jackman
and Tyler The Creator (3,5)

30 East Sussex town associated
with former Conservative Lord
Chancellor Quintin Hogg (8)
32 1861 novel by Ellen Wood (4,5)
33 County Cricket Club with three
pears on its badge (14)
34 The first darts player to win
both the BDO and WDC world
championships (6,9)
38 Welsh singer who recorded the
theme songs to three James
Bond films (7,6)
42 The brightest star in the
constellation Cygnus (5)
46 A type of biscuit with a layer of
currants in the centre (9)
47 Period of time equal to
354.3671 days (5,4)

49 Irish band comprising the
siblings Andrea, Sharon,
Caroline and Jim (3,5)
51 1970 western starring Jim
Brown and Lee Van Cleef (2,6)
53 Chinese-style American dish
whose name means “odds and
ends” (4,4)
54 Form of entertainment whose
name means “empty orchestra”
in Japanese (7)
55 North Wales market town with
a 13th-century castle (5)
59 The interior of the fruit of a
gourd used as a bath sponge (6)
60 In Greek mythology, a
river of Hades that caused
forgetfulness (5)

Solutions, page 52

Inquisitor l Jigsawdoku l Zygolex l Codeword l Sudoku l idoku l Word Wheel

48

games

puzzles

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Zygolex®

CRYPTIC CROSSWORD No 3779 BY FILBERT
1

2

9

3

4

5

10

6

7

Solution to yesterday’s Cryptic

8

P L A S T E
A
S
H
T A S T E
C
U
E
HOME V I
Y
E
I
L A
A
S
E
M I K E Y A
P
E
E
H A L F
L
I
E
K
B U T T E R
I
O E
A NNU L E

11

12

13
14
15

16

17
18

19

20

D
E
B
A
S
E
D

24
25

26

E
M
B
A
R
G
O

27

28

29

ACROSS
1

Chinese group departs after
warning shot (8)

5

Excellent suggestion might
finally work (6)

9

It helps you hear note played
relatively quietly (3)

10 Harry wrote “Markle, I’m no
different from Smith” (11)
12 Feast always started with
bananas and plums (4,6)
13 Low point for every drink (4)
15 Maybe Pavarotti right away
gets to grips with church
music (6)
16 New feud brewing among the
Spanish poor (7)
18 On edge, lawyer rejected
potential suitor (7)
20 A Scottish idiot set my punt
adrift (6)
23 Boring, with no relief (4)

P
E
R
S
U
A
D
E

A D
I
D S
A
D S
T
L E
R

S
P
T T E
A
N
GA N
D
E
OND

Full rules at www.zygolex.com

GRUB

24 Bother, the candlestick’s
covered in grime (10)

28 Occasionally, lines entering
gents; more often, here (6)
29 Headgear protects several
bits of PE assistant (8)

DOWN

R A I S E S
R
T
P
GRU E L
U
T
O
R E A T E D
E G
ME RGE
I
E
E D T R A P
D
I
L A D L E
E
I
R
GMA T I C
E
T
E
E NUOU S

7

Split receipts on holiday (4,3)

8

After being overthrown,
Napoleon’s exile too easy to
bear? (8)

26 Unlikely to be silly, because of
dodgy heart (4,2,5)
27 It’s made by boiling water,
endlessly (3)

I L EMMA
P
L
I
B
E
E A R S D OWN
M C
D
I
T A S H
E N T
A
E
I ME N S I ON
A
C
N
C
N S U E
S P E
T
I
R I E F I NGS
C
A
C
H
E A C T
E N I
T
A
R
F
V E R L I E
T

11 Smear top of nasty
verruca in gel – it’ll show
improvement (8,5)
14 Prevent wandering of his cool
hand (10)
17 Narcissus slid off a divingboard, absorbed by
reflection (8)

1

Fellow abseiling loses footing
on ice (6)

19 Accepting ring, end up
married – as did the
pussycat? (7)

2

Dish out pleasure, not a kick
in the teeth (7)

21 Show nipple pierced by
husband; sore, but not very (7)

3

Half the world is into
cannabis, I say (10)

22 Royal house opening for
everyone to see inside (6)

4

There’s no chance of
solvers entering
unacceptable term (3,2,4,4)

25 Sore losers forget they were
ever in last place (4)

6

Billy’s head down in the
swimming pool (4)

HONE

THRASH

PIPE
4

ROWDY

Solution to last Saturday’s Cryptic

21
22

23

R
H E L I
I
O E
G O T OWA
I
P
D
D EOS
B
T
P
B R A DOO
A
T W
RWO O D
M
E
A UNDR E
G O R
NU T
OR
E
C O
T
H AMM

Find the missing words by following the RHYME, LETTERS and MEANING links
– eg, a word that rhymes with ‘cheek’, has one letter different from ‘pear’ and
has the same meaning as mountain, would be ‘peak’. Full rules at zygolex.com.
Find the missing words by following the RHYME, LETTERS and MEANING links, e.g. a word
Solutions, page 52
that rhymes with ‘cheek’, has the same meaning as ‘mountain’ and has one letter different from
RHYME LETTERS MEANING
‘pear’, would be ‘peak’. Note: only one letter is changed in a Letters link.

4

5

6
4

DOWRY

5
5

3

WEIR

8
8

5

DAD

6

FROCK
BLACK
RHYME

KNOT
LETTERS

MEANING

Mensa® Brain
Number
Teasers
Square
Zygolex (from left to right) - drub; hose; dowdy;

How to
playstranFill the empty
l Rearrangepicked;
the letters
of chose; jab; poke; choke;
drab;
jam;
SMART
GARAGE
MATE
gle; dam;
straggle;
block; tangle. squares with numbers that
will make the across and down
to give two seaside towns in Kent.
calculations produce the results
What are they?
shown in the grey squares. Each
l The combined age of Alfie and Dana is 43.
numeral from 1 to 9 must only
The combined age of Dana and Seth is 51. The
appear once. The calculations
combined age of Seth and Alfie is 46. How old
should be performed from
are Alfie, Dana and Seth?
left to right and top to
bottom, rather than in strict
l On each row, place a word beginning with
mathematical order.
R to fit the clue given. When completed a
topical word will be read down the shaded
column. What is it?

A dilapidated building

Easier

x

Anger

0

0

2
1

2
2
3 2

1 1
1
1
3

3
2
3 1

5 3
0
1 0
1

1
1 2
3 2 1
2
1

3
2
3
4
2
1
0
1
4 4
2
0
1
4
2 3
3
2
3
3
1 2
1
1

23

Word Wheel
How to play This is an open-ended puzzle.
How many words of three or more letters,
each including
the letter
at centre of the
L A
wheel, can you
make from
M
D
this diagram?
O
We’ve found 63,
including one
R
E
nine-letter word.
F
M
Solutions, page 52

÷
x

x

Curious about IQ? Take the workout, mensa.org.uk

6

-13

÷

x

+

Solution, page 52

2

-

x

Fruit peel

2

LAG
TINGLE

A length of cord

2

HAGGLE

3

Uncommon

How to play Find all the mines
in the grid. Numbers in certain
squares indicate how many mines
there are in the neighbouring
squares, including diagonally
touching squares. Mines cannot be
placed in squares with numbers.

KICKED

4

3

A flower

Minesweeper

PECKED

1

10

x
-

108

44
28

Harder
x
-

-

-

+
-

+
x

-9

4

+
x

10

4

5 270
14

games

puzzles

49

Solutions minURL.co.uk/i

Killer Sudoku

Jigsawdoku

How to play Each row, column and 3 by 3 box
must contain each number (1 to 9) only once.
The sum of all numbers contained in a dotted
area must match the number printed in its
top-left corner. No number can appear more
than once in a dotted area.

How to play Place the numbers 1-9
once in each row, column and bold-lined
jigsaw region.

18

15

12

4

8

7

15

14

8

13

10

24

15
7

9

12

13

9
7

9

9

12

4
3 1

1
7

6
3

4 2
7

8

6

8
6 3

Codeword No 3521

Sudokarrow
How to play As traditional sudoku, but numbers
along the path of an arrow must also add up to the
circled square at the top of each arrow.

2
7

25

The numbers in the grid correspond to the
letters of the alphabet. Solve the puzzle
and fill in the letters in the key as you
discover them. Three letters are provided
to give you a start. The solution will be
printed in Monday’s paper; the solution to
yesterday’s codeword is on page 52.
1

2

3

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10

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		25

26

7

1

M
T

19
6

16

2

20

WENT

9

16
25

16

E

19

23

21

3

23

Need a little help getting started? Then call for
up to four extra clue letters on 0901 292 5204.
Calls cost £1 plus your telephone company’s
network access charge (if you are having trouble
with the phone service, call the helpline: 0333 202 3390).
Or text THEI CLUE to 85100 to receive your clues.
Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge (if you
are having trouble with the text service, call the helpline:
0333 335 3351). Clues change each day at midnight.

5

7

16
19

25

23

19

11

23

14
16

23

8

1

23

23

14

20

4

5

5

11

20
26

14

25

13

19

13

25

22

14

25

20

23

22

5

26

25
25

23

25

20

22

7

25

25

23

7

14

23
23

23

19

24

25

7

11

4
3

7

3

5
5

24

17

24

20

15

22

1

4

24

20

7

20

13

16

25

10

22

25

5

2
18

23

25

26

25

23

12
25

19

11

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Concise Crossword No 3843
2

3

4

5

6
7

GOOD

8

9

10
11

12

13

ACROSS

1

3
7
8
9
12
13
14
17
18
20
21

14

17

20

Compound used as an
insect repellent (4)
White fur (6)
Estrange (8)
Tense (4)
Determination (10)
Live-in family helper (2,4)
Thickset (6)
Improvement (10)
Tibetan priest or monk (4)
Immediate medical
assistance (5,3)
Seem (6)
Traditional story (4)

DOWN

1
2
3
4
5
6
10
11
13
15
16
19

Frenzy (8)
Before (Poetic) (3)
Vote in (5)
Tempo-keeping device (9)
Naming word (4)
Adapt (6)
Impasse (9)
Playful (8)
Fortified wine (6)
Deduce (5)
Moist (4)
Attempt (3)

Stuck on the concise crossword?
Then call our solutions line on 0906 751 0201. Calls cost 80p per minute
plus your telephone company’s network access charge. If you are having
trouble accessing this number, please call our helpdesk on 0333 202 3390.

15

16

PAST

5
5 2 3
2 1
7
3

1
7
5
1
3
6 4
7
2 8 6 9
6
4
7

5 4

5

7

1

WILD

9

3

3

16

11

3

How to play Convert
the word at the top
of the ladder into the
word at the bottom of
it, using only the four
rungs in between.
On each rung, you
must put a valid fourletter word that is
identical to the word
above it, apart from
a one-letter change.
There may be more
than one way of
achieving this.

6
9 4
1
2 8
4
7
4
9

1

9

Word
Ladder

2

5 1 2
8
4
3 5
6

9

9

9

8

8

7

22

5
6

Easier

2

9

5

7

16
9

8
1

idoku Exclusive to i
In addition to the usual constraints, each
numeral from 1 to 9 must appear (once only)
in the squares forming the red letter i.

7 6

3

6

11

8

11
6

12

5

12

7

11

4
5 2

Sudoku

18

19

21

Solution to yesterday’s Concise Crossword
ACROSS 1 Newt, 3 Reno (Neutrino), 7 Fierce, 8 Cravat, 9 Exterminate, 10 Hamper,
13 Tulips, 15 Respectable, 19 Gigolo, 20 Billet, 21 Leaf, 22 Vary.
DOWN 1 Naive, 2 Worktop, 3 Receipt, 4 Nyala, 5 Bear, 6 Make-up, 11 Adroit,
12 Reel off, 14 Lobelia, 16 Scone, 17 Tuba, 18 Enemy.

50

games

puzzles

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Solutions

minURL.co.uk/i

Kakuro

Word Fit

Binary

How to play Fill the white squares so that the
total in each across or down run of cells matches
the total at the start of that run. You must use
the numbers from 1-9 only and cannot repeat a
number in a run.

How to play Can you fit all the words into the grid to complete the
puzzle? Some words may initially fit in more than one place, but
there is only one way to fit all the words together to complete the grid.

How to play Complete the grid so
that each row and column contains
five 0s and five 1s. The same number
cannot appear in more than two
consecutive squares in any row or
column. In the finished puzzle, each
row must have a different sequence
of 0s and 1s to any other row, and
likewise for each column.

12

18

10

21

6

4 letters

4
letters
Amen
Amen
Blab
Blot
Blab
Garb
Blot
Host
Garb
Hues
Host
Lute
Hues
Wish
Lute
6 letters
Wish
Badger
6
letters
Buzzes
Clique
Badger
Fencer
Buzzes
Fevers
Clique
Milieu
Fencer
Shaver
Fevers
Thrash
Milieu
Tidied
Shaver
7 letters
Thrash
Swivels
Tidied
Varying
711letters
letters
Swivels
Impermeable
Varying
11 letters
Impermeable

18

3
14

23

6

29
28

4

15
21
24

16
15

16

18

16

15

35

4

12
14

8

10
10
16

6

3

16

Battleships
How to play Locate the position of each of the ships
listed below in the grid. Numbers around the edge
tell you the number of ship segments in each row
and column of the puzzle. Ships are surrounded on
all sides by water, including diagonally.

5 8

1

6
5
4

3
0
1

2

4

2

1

2

4

2

1

5

5

5

6

4

6

6

3

6

0

5

3

2

2

4

5

4

5

1

3

3

3

0

3

0

3

2

0

6

0

1

1

2

5

0

4

5

6

4

4

3

0

0 1 2 3 4 5 6

1

1 3

0

1
0
1 1

1

1

6

4

2

1

2

2

5

5

5

6

64

6

68

1

3

6

0

5

3

2

2

0

4

5

4

5

1

1

3

0

3

0

3

2

0

6

6

0

2

5

0

1

4

5

11 1

4

3

0

6
5
4
3
2
1
0

6

4

4

8

0 1 2 3 4 5 6

2

1

4
2

2

2

3

2

2

2

1

4

6

4

2

2

2

6
3

1

4
1

3

3
6

2

2

2

2
1

3
4

3
5

2
5

1
1

2
1

2
2

3

3

5

2
4

1
4

4

1
6

1

2

1

2

2
2

1

2

6

2

3

5

Hexalex
How to play Place each of the
letters below once into the empty
hexagons, crossing them off as you
do so. Enter the letters in such a
way that it is possible to find all the
words listed alongside the grid by
moving from hexagon to adjacent
hexagon to spell out each word.

F

1
3
3

W

A B E H I

3
3

CRIMP
FUME
FUME
GAZE
GAZE
JOLT
KNOT
JOLT
LONG
KNOT
RIP
LONG
SLOTH
RIP
SLY
SOLD
SLOTH
WHET
SLY
CRIMP

O
G

2
BRAVO
BRAVO

D

M
C

4

3
2

A B E H I J L N
P R S T U V Y Z

3

2

2

2

1

1

1

2

53 32

4

3

3
5

4

1

2

3

2

4 7 5

4

6
3

9 6
1 3

3

5

2
1

5

2

7

2

Dominoes

0
0

0
0

1

3

3

0

0

0

How to play Connect every island (represented by circles) into
a single interconnected group. To do this draw bridges between
islands. The number in each circle states how many bridges must
be connected to that island. Bridges cannot cross each other,
can only be drawn horizontally or vertically, and there can be a
maximum of two bridges between any pair of islands.

1

2

1 1

How to play Each hexagon is divided into six
triangles. The sum of these six triangles is always
25. Place a number from 1-9 in each empty triangle
to complete the puzzle; you cannot repeat a number
within a hexagon.

4

1

0

0

Bridges

3

2
2
1
1
3
3
Locate the position of each of the ships
2
listed below in the grid. Numbers3around
the edge tell you the number 3of ship
segments
3 in1each row
4 and 0column1 6of the 1
1
puzzle. Ships are surrounded on 1
all sides
by water, including diagonally.
3
3
3
3
3
3
0
1
0
3
3
3
1
3
1
3 2 1 006 1 5 0 1 1
6
3 2 1 0 6 1 5 0 1 1
How
to
play
Each
3
2
of the 28 domino
1
pieces from 0-0
1
through to 6-6 have
0 1 1
been placed once
0
into the grid. Can
you work out where
1
each of them are
placed?
6

1

0

Number Hexagon

1 4

Locate the position of each of the ships
Locate
the position
of each
of thearound
ships
listed below
in the grid.
Numbers
listed
belowtell
in the
around
the edge
yougrid.
the Numbers
number of
ship
the
edge in
telleach
yourow
theand
number
segments
columnofofship
the
segments
in each
row and column
the
puzzle. Ships
are surrounded
on allof
sides
puzzle.
are surrounded
by water,Ships
including
diagonally. on all sides
by water, including diagonally.

0 0
0
0 0

1

K

J L N P R S T U V Y Z

SOLD
WHET

CHILDREN’S PUZZLES
WO R
SE A RC H
Countries
In D
Asia
Z

A G W M K

P

L

X

V

I

S

U

L

N Q A

C

V M A N

I

H C

J

N A G

I

I

A U R H

M O M K

L

A G Y

Z

A W A

P G

I

N N A

F

Y

P

I

N A

I

T

Y

S

I

D

E Q N

E M M Y

I

R N M O V

I

Z

A

F

A A

E

R U

V

Y

R

Y

X Q W Y

K U

O N

CHINA

MINDIA
AT C H I N G
DIRAN
I N O S AU R
1

IRAQ
How to play

I

MALAYSIA

SUM FINDER
14

W

10 18 32

CHINA
INDIA
IRAN
IRAQ
JAPAN
MALAYSIA
MONGOLIA
MYANMAR
VIETNAM
YEMEN

L E T T E R

F I T

CanJAPAN
you find the matching dinosaur?
YEMEN

T

SPOT TH E DIFFER ENCE

3 letters
Odd
Odd
4 letters
4 letters
Zany
Zany
5 letters
5 letters
Silly
Silly
Weird
Weird
Witty
Witty
6 letters
6 letters
Quirky
Quirky
7 letters
7 letters
Amusing
Amusing
Bizarre
Bizarre
Unusual
Unusual
8 letters
8 letters
Peculiar
Peculiar
Puzzling
Puzzling
Uncommon
Uncommon
9 letters
9 letters
Diverting
Diverting
Hilarious
Hilarious
1010
letters
letters
Mysterious

1

1

5

2

Can you find the matching dinosaur?

5

3

7

Can you find the matching dinosaur?

2

6

3

7

W

CLUES
l Magician’s stick (4)
l Abandon; leave (6)
l Propel through the air;
toss (5)
l Sorceress who flies on a
broomstick (5)
l Period of 60 minutes (4)
l Fix or mend (6)

Can you
spot the 6 differences between the two pictures?
Abandon; leave (6)
Can youPropel
spot
the 6 differences between the two pictures?
through the air; toss (5)

VIETNAM Each word only has one position and must fit exactly in the given3squares
letters

3

R R
END

13
22

MYANMAR
How to play Fill the grid with the words given in the list.

6

D

Magician's stick (4)

MONGOLIA

2

How to play
Solve the crossword-style
clues below to fill the grid,
writing one letter per
square. The last letter of
each answer is the first
letter of the next answer.
These have been written in
for you, along with the first
and last letter of the whole
puzzle.

H

39 16
20 29 28

minURL.co.uk/puzzles

ROU T E
WO R D

How to play
Can you find
Three of How
the to
numbers
thenumbers
box below
play Threein
of the
in the add up to 41.
the words in
box
below
add
up
to
41.
But
can
you
worknumbers are?
the grid? They
But can you
work out what those three
out what those three numbers are?
may be written
horizontally,
vertically or
diagonally,
and either
forwards or
backwards.
START

19

Solutions

4

4

HowSorceress
to play Can
youon
spot
the 6 differences
between the two pictures?
who flies
a broomstick
(5)
Period of 60 minutes (4)
Fix or mend (6)

4

Mysterious

NUMBER
PY R A M I D

HEX
MAZE

↓

How to play
The value of each square in the
number pyramid is the sum of the
two squares directly under it

315
158
64
29 44
9
25

1

17
12 12

How to play
Find your way
out of the grid,
entering at the
entrance arrow.
You must follow
only one path
which does not
cut corners,
jump walls or
repeat itself.

WO R D
BUILDER

↓

How to play Answers
to every clue contain
only the letters in the
grid, are five letters
long and include the
central letter.

A E L
H T R
W O Z
l Type of dance
l Item used for drying
lType
Organof
that
pumps blood
dance
l Wide awake

Item used for drying
Organ that pumps blood
Wide awake

52

games

puzzles

1

2

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

3

4

5

6

11

INQUISITOR

13

No 1795

15

Come Into Force by Apt
A letter must be inserted into
all down and most across
clues before solving. In down
clues these give the first of five
sentences of a statement. In
across clues they describe a
famous three-word feature of the
statement, which must replace
two entries to represent the fifth
sentence (in original and updated
forms) creating new real crossing
words. These entries must be
highlighted, together with 16
cells spelling out part of the
fourth sentence. Drawing a circle
through the 16 cells will produce
a rough depiction of the entity
named in the second sentence.
ACROSS
1

Spoil my game point (7)

7

A massive top! (5)

16

18

19

21

22
26

27

30
33

31

17

23

24
28

34

29

36
38

5

Move nine, but down one, with
no rook (6)

6

Banksy might paint on elevated
platform with no sides (3)

7

I provide bright orange tin: a
natural container for tomato (6)

8

Were star-cross’d lovers met in
Dover on arrival? (6)

9

Society met up to think once (5)

19 Maybe beloved writer’s
alas taking time over third
letter (7, 2 words)

20 Cut off secret Neil Armstrong
holds after launch? (8)

37 More than one sat slightly
reclining? (4)

26 Aging Verity shot husband
down (5)

38 Sculpted lad back on tour of
Home Counties (9)

27 I repeatedly wove borders,
wanting a bit of Gingham (6)

39 Seen more than three in
contention (3)

28 Course that’s taken with expert
on statues (6)

40 Learner to don: “Latin, that is
most useless!” (6)

31 Spanish gent cycling like
Greg (5)

41 Nonsense about red setter
and alsatian? (6)

33 Astrobiologist’s had scientific
cells producing spores (4)
34 Amour in the form of rings and
letters (4)

DOWN
I’ll peak at being bedecked by
golds (6)

Futoshiki

ABC Logic

How to play Place the numbers from 1-5 exactly
once in each row and column. The greater than
and less than signs (‘>’ and ‘<’) indicate where one
cell is greater/less than the adjacent cell indicated.

How to play Place the letters
A, B and C only once in each row and
column. Each row and column has
two blank cells. The letters at the
edge of a row/column indicate
which of the letters is the first/last
to appear in that row/column.

>

>

>

<

C

C

B

>

<

A

>

A

4

B

2 >

A

B
B

<

>
>

C

B
B

C

NEW THIS MONTH

For the full range of i puzzle books
see minURL.co.uk/ibooks

S P
O L
L E
A I
RA
N D
E O
C G
K L
L I
I M
N P
E S
S E

S
AD
L E
T E
I N
R D
E O
AM
C E
A T
U T
L

WORD WHEEL

JUMBO CROSSWORD
Across 11 Günter Grass,
13 Civilisation, 15 Harry
Brook, 16 The Blue Dahlia,
17 Great ape, 18 La La Land,
19/39 Arthur Ransome,
21 My Three Sons, 23 Ian
Holm, 27 Vertebra, 29 The
Whale, 31/24 Tinea pedis,
35 André Gide, 36 Sprite,
37 Obersee, 40 Heresy,
41 Schilling, 44 Brisbane,
45 Skegness, 48/43 Patti
Smith, 50 Tudeley,
52 Neneh Cherry, 56 Ribena,
57 Abby Cook, 58 Shoulder,
61 Apocalypse Now, 62 Eric
Stoltz, 63 Derek Jameson,
64 Phoebe Cates.

5-CLUE CROSSWORD
Across: 3 E-laps-E,
5/6 Reading matter*
Down: 1 Pe-set-a, 2 Man-date,
4 Sent-Ry

ZYGOLEX
LEFT TO RIGHT: drub; hose; dowdy;
picked; drab; chose; jab; poke; choke; jam;
strangle; dam; straggle; block; tangle

Down 1 Sugar Ray Leonard,
2 Styria, 3 Cribbage, 4 Osaka,
5 Cinerama, 6 William
Holden, 7 Rivendell,
8 Carabao, 9 Villette,
10 Andalusia, 12 Rhode
Island red, 14 Atlas,
20 Unity, 22 Heteronym,
25 Hesperus, 26 FireWire,
28 Big Mouth, 30 (Lord)
Hailsham, 32 East Lynne,
33 Worcestershire,
34 Dennis Priestley,
38 Shirley Bassey, 42 Deneb,
46 Garibaldi, 47 Lunar year,
49 The Corrs, 51 El Condor,
53 Chop suey, 54 Karaoke,
55 Conwy, 59 Loofah,
60 Lethe.

FRIDAY’S CODEWORD 3520
1

2

3

4

5

14

15

16

17

18

O N G T

D
R
E
S
S
A
G
E

Given the harrumphing that
accompanied the minesweeperbased Inquisitor – a puzzle that
nevertheless came seventh in the
2022 voting – it was a touch ironic
that the year’s champion Listener
and IQ puzzles needed sudoku
and Wordle to arrive at their
respective solutions. We’ve already
congratulated Artix for the latter;
now we salute Twin, winning the
Ascot Gold Cup for “Singles Only”,
his sixth solo Listener.
Twin is a new name in the
Independent, too. From his first
brace of puzzles, try: “Opportunity
to cut north, say, for point on top
(6,4)”; and “Completely impractical
to get herringbone trousers (10)”.
John Henderson (Nimrod),
@enigmatistelgar

Nine-letter word malformed Other
words ado, adore, deform, demo, doe,
doer, dole, dome, earldom, fedora, floe,
flora, foal, foaled, foam, foamed, foe,
fold, folder, for, ford, fore, form, formal,
formed, fro, from, load, loader, loaf,
loafer, loam, lode, lord, lore, memo,
modal, mode, model, modem, molar,
mole, moral, morale, more, oaf, oar, ode,
old, older, oral, ordeal, ore, redo, reload,
road, roam, roamed, rod, rode, roe, role

1. Margate and Ramsgate
2. Alfie – 19, Dana – 24 and Seth – 27
3. Spring The words are ROSE,
ROPE, RARE, RUIN, RIND and RAGE

For more puzzles, see
www.clarity-media.co.uk

G
D
N
R
D
A
R
I
C
P
L
I
E
A

Puzzle
solutions

MENSA BRAIN TEASERS

The i Book of Concise
Crosswords Vol 16
With 100 brand new
puzzles. Available on
Amazon for £4.99. See
minURL.co.uk/
crosswordsvol16

I M P I N
D AWN I
EMS S U
AME T E
T I F I E
E F A LM
D O G L E
E R O L E
OMN I A
S H S U R
T Y C O L
L D E D O
E R RY B
R O P L E

Give Me a Clue

25 Furiously on a sulk? To donkeys
we’re elated! (7)

30 Twelve finally decode cipher (5)

S
A
R
A
P
E
N
M
A
G

S
E
R
A
R
E
N
S
I
L
E
D

Solution to 1793
Green Light by Check
Letters ignored in wordplay spell
PARTIAL ECLIPSE, defining the “shaded”
area; those removed before solving spell
OPTIMISATION OF ENERGY OUTPUT,
hinting at the exchange of 5 HYDRO and 34
SOLAR to bring the latter into the light.

36 Deprived person defied by
volume editor (7)

2

Solvers may e-mail queries and comments
to nimrod1@jetdoc.co.uk at any time.
Twitter @enigmatistelgar
You can comment about today’s
puzzle after 10am on 28 March
at fifteensquared.net, which hosts
a weekly blog.

P
E
T
U
N
I
A
S

24 Killed, like flies let in women’s
place, with thin strips (7)

35 Left you, and I ought to have
left not (4)

>

Learned by myself to adjust
gain (7)

22 Pet getting head stuck in lab
safety device (7, 2 words)

41

18 He’ll refuse article after day’s
reflection (5)

>

4

16 Dishonoured Doctor of
Education suppresses lie (7)

39

32 Stop growing up: a late
change (7)

<

An Italian cook’s stale asparagus
sandwiches (4)

13 Chefs from local eateries
negotiate a number of days
without rich food? (6)

37

40

3

10 Sheet’s lying about this, and
this (5)

35

17 Half-heartedly rolls and eases
out (5)

4

25

32

29 Swap portions of deliberately
unsophisticated pastry (4)

15 Move contents of most vulgar
compositions (6)

10

20

26 To start, fixes sentence
produced by computer
learner (7, 2 words)

14 Wet and shivering, dear old
thesp (7)

9

14

23 Young animals lash out, having
nothing by way of height (5)

12 Scots under order of Athena (6)

8

12

21 Catch paw with skill when
retreating (4)

11 Sorting body, bandaging
recurrently tight ligaments (6)

7

I

6

7

19

20

E

J

8

9

10

11

12

13

21

22

23

24

25

26

Y F B D Q M

C H X A U K W Z R V S P L

More solutions: minURL.co.uk/i
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culture

53

culture
The five best
this weekend

TALKING POINT

FILM

PEARL
A prequel of sorts
to last year’s slasher
X, this is not your
average horror film.
Shot instead like a
Golden Age flick, it
stars Mia Goth as a
(psychotic) farm girl
dreaming of being on
the chorus line.

TV

EXTRAPOLATIONS
Apple TV+
This anthology drama
weaves together
eight stories set in
a near-future where
the effects of climate
change are embedded
in daily life. Forest
Whitaker and Marion
Cotillard star.

PODCAST

QUEER & THE BEAT!
Paris Munro
struggled with
abandonment and
gender identity issues
growing up and relied
on music to heal their
traumas. Here, they
interview celebrities
about how music
saved their lives, too.

RADIO

A TOMB WITH
A VIEW
Radio 4/BBC Sounds
Peter Ross uncovers
the stories behind
the headstones in UK
graveyards in this
“Book of the Week”.
A compassionate
celebration of both
life and death.

ALBUM

10,000 GECS
By 100 Gecs
The American
hyperpop duo
blur genres from
rap-rock to deathmetal to ska and
doo-wop with surreal
invention and, most
importantly, a real
sense of fun.

Reality TV returns to golden
age of social experiments
Armchair anthropologists assemble! ‘Rise and Fall’ is the latest series to
drop contestants into a pit of Machiavellian manipulation. By Anna Bonet

A

sk anyone who watches
reality television why they
enjoy it and I’ll bet plenty
of responses will contain
the word “anthropology”.
It is fascinating, we say,
trying to justify our “guilty pleasure”,
to watch the relationship dynamics, the
power shifts, the deceits, the betrayals.
Now, into this world of very
important human studies has entered
a new reality competition from the
makers of The Traitors. Channel 4’s Rise
and Fall, presented by Greg James,
sounds as though it will have many of
the components that made the hit BBC
show so good: hubris, treachery and
Machiavellian levels of manipulation.
Sixteen people begin as equals, but
through a series of challenges either
rise to be a Ruler (and live in the
“opulent penthouse”) or fall to be a
Grafter (and survive in basic conditions
in the basement). It sounds rather like
the games once played on Big Brother,
which actively encouraged a hierarchy,
with some contestants rewarded with
special luxuries – except it is on a macro
scale, affecting the entire show, rather
than time-limited tasks. And at the end
of this game of snakes and ladders, one
of the Rulers will walk away with the
prize money of up to £100,000.
Rise and Fall is just the latest piece
of evidence to suggest that the social
experiment branch of reality television

is having a moment. Most notable
is The Traitors, last year’s Claudia
Winkleman-presented phenomenon
in which 22 spectacularly good
personalities decamped to the Scottish
Highlands to convince one another they
were “100 per cent” faithful (when in
fact some of them were saboteurs lying
through their teeth at every turn).
Just a month before The Traitors,
Netflix resurrected The Mole, a
competition with a very similar format,
which first aired in the early Noughties
(and is equally silly and addictive).

Why this change? I’d hazard
a guess that it’s because we
are in the age of self-analysis
We’ve also had Channel 4’s The Bridge
(can strangers work together to build
a bridge?) and The Simpler Life (can
digital obsessives spend a summer cut
off in a remote farm?) – and let’s not
forget ITV’s forthcoming reboot of Big
Brother, where it all began.
There is also a whole subsection in
the dating world: from Netflix’s Love
is Blind asking what dating could look
like without physical attraction to The
Ultimatum, which asks whether couples
will finally tie the knot when presented
with… yes, an ultimatum.

By contrast, scripted reality shows
– The Only Way is Essex, Keeping Up
with the Kardashians, Made in Chelsea,
Geordie Shore, The Real Housewives
– are experiencing all-time lows in
viewing figures.
So why have our tastes changed? I’d
hazard a guess that it’s because we are
in the age of self-analysis, though it may
also be a hangover from the pandemic:
there is something appealing about
observing people being pushed to
extremes in weird circumstances after
we’ve all been in weird circumstances,
pushed to our own extremes.
Channel 4’s chief content officer, Ian
Katz, has described Rise and Fall as
“timely”, because “the gap between the
‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’ has never
felt wider”. I think this is undoubtedly
true – and watching people wield power
recklessly could feel painfully familiar.
Yet I also can’t help but feel that a
reality programme is hardly the most
appropriate place to explore inequality.
Pretending it is anything more worthy
than entertainment is unnecessary.
Indeed, we shouldn’t need to
justify everything – not least our
interest in reality TV. Yes, it is great
for anthropology. But also, let’s be
honest, it is mostly just as excellent
for our amusement.
Rise and Fall begins at 9pm on Sunday
on Channel 4

Your seven-day guide to television, on-demand services and radio p54-67

54

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Saturday television
CRITIC’S CHOICE

Six Nations Live

12pm, BBC One and
1.55pm & 4.30pm, ITV1
The final round of fixtures begins
at Murrayfield with Scotland vs
Italy (kick-off 12.30pm) before
moving on to Paris for France
vs Wales (Kick-off 2.45pm) and
culminating in Dublin as Ireland
host England (kick-off 5pm).
Ireland claimed an impressive
32-15 win at Twickenham last
year and will fancy their chances
this evening after enjoying
a strong campaign so far.

Match of the Day Live:
The FA Cup

6.00 Breakfast (S). 9.45
Saturday Kitchen Live (S).
11.15 Football Focus (S).
11.45 BBC News; Weather
(S). 12.00 Live Six Nations
Rugby Union Scotland
vs Italy. Kick-off is at
12.30pm (S). 3.00 Money
For Nothing (R) (S). 3.30
Comic Relief – Highlights
2023 (S). 4.30 Final Score
(S). 5.10 BBC News (S).
5.20 BBC Regional News;
Weather (S). 5.25 Match
Of The Day Live: The FA
Cup Manchester City vs
Burnley. Kick-off is at
5.45pm (S).

5.25pm, BBC One
Manchester City vs Burnley
(kick-off 5.45pm). Gary Lineker,

6.45 Dennis & Gnasher
Unleashed! (R) (S). 6.55
Boy Girl Dog Cat Mouse
Cheese (R) (S). 7.10 The
Football Academy (R) (S).
7.35 The Dengineers (R)
(S). 8.05 Operation Ouch!
(R) (S). 8.35 Newsround
(S). 8.45 Blue Peter (R) (S).
9.15 Deadly Pole To Pole
(R) (S). 9.45 Deadly Pole
To Pole (R) (S). 10.15 Life
In The Air (R) (S). 11.15
Rick Stein’s Cornwall (R)
(S). 11.45 Coast To Coast
Food Festival (R) (S). 12.15
Celebrity Best Home Cook
(R) (S). 1.15 FILM: Doctor
Zhivago (David Lean 1965)
(S). 4.20 The Real Marigold
On Tour (R) (S). 5.20 Flog
It! (R) (S). 5.50 Celebrity
Antiques Road Trip (R) (S).

6.00 CITV 9.25 ITV News
(S). 9.30 James Martin’s
Saturday Morning (S).
11.40 Ainsley’s Fantastic
Flavours (S). 12.40 James
Martin’s American
Adventure (R) (S). 1.40
ITV News; Weather (S).
1.55 Six Nations Live
France vs Wales. Kick-off
is at 2.45pm (S). 4.30 Six
Nations Live Ireland vs
England. Kick-off is at
5pm (S).

6.50 Saving Lives At
Sea A crew
rescue a boy
who has got into
difficulties after
jumping off
rocks (R) (S).

recent furore about criticising
the Government now behind
him, presents the sixth-round tie
at Etihad Stadium. Burnley are
managed by former City captain
Vincent Kompany, who won this
trophy twice while at the club.
The Clarets have performed well
under his stewardship and look
set for an immediate return to the
Premier League.

Ant & Dec’s Saturday
Night Takeaway/Michael
McIntyre’s The Wheel

7.15pm, ITV1/7.55pm, BBC One
Thanks to the live football on
BBC One (see above), Ant & Dec
are able to steal a considerable
start on Michael McIntyre in
the battle of the Saturday-night

light entertainment behemoths.
The Geordie twosome greet
Toni Collette (as the “Star Guest
Announcer”), Joe Wicks and
Jake Shears of Scissor Sisters
(appearing in a disco “End of the
Show Show”). Among those risking
motion sickness on McIntyre’s
wheel of specialist knowledge are
Jonathan Ross (on comic books),
Tom Allen (on gardening), and
Sara Cox (on dogs).

Challenge Anneka

8.50pm, Channel 5
Channel 5 has a habit of reviving
old TV shows, whether All
Creatures Great and Small or
a mooted resurrection of The
X Factor. Viewers with memories
of the early 90s will recall this

6.00 3rd Rock From The
Sun (R) (S). 6.25 3rd Rock
From The Sun (R) (S). 6.50
3rd Rock From The Sun
(R) (S). 7.15 The King Of
Queens (R) (S). 7.40 The
King Of Queens (R) (S).
8.05 The King Of Queens
(R) (S). 8.30 Everybody
Loves Raymond (R)
(S). 9.00 Everybody
Loves Raymond (R) (S).
9.30 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S). 10.00 The
Simpsons (R) (S). 12.30 The
Simpsons (R) (S). 1.00 Four
In A Bed (R) (S). 1.35 Four
In A Bed (R) (S). 2.05 Four
In A Bed (R) (S). 2.35 Four
In A Bed (R) (S). 3.05 Four
In A Bed (R) (S). 3.40 FILM:
The Karate Kid (Harald
Zwart 2010) (S).

6.00 Milkshake!
10.00 The Smurfs
(S). 10.15 SpongeBob
SquarePants (R) (S). 10.25
Entertainment News On
5 (S). 10.30 Friends (R) (S).
10.55 Friends (R) (S). 11.25
Friends (R) (S). 11.55 FILM:
Calendar Girls (Nigel Cole
2003) Fact-based comedy
drama, starring Helen
Mirren and Julie Walters
(S). 2.05 FILM: Steel
Magnolias (Herbert Ross
1989) Drama, with Sally
Field and Julia Roberts (S).
4.25 FILM: The Deep End Of
The Ocean (Ulu Grosbard
1999) Drama, starring
Michelle Pfeiffer (S).

6.20 Channel 4 News
(S).
6.50 Bettany Hughes’
Treasures Of The
World (S).

6.30 5 News
Weekend (S).
6.35 Zara & Anne:
Like Mother,
Like Daughter?
(R) (S).

Anneka Rice rebuilds
a dog rescue centre as
Channel 5 reboots
‘Challenge Anneka’
8.50pm, Channel 5

7.50 Universe Last in
the series (R) (S).

7.15 Ant & Dec’s
Saturday Night
Takeaway
Actress Toni
Collette is the
Star Guest
Announcer (S).

7.45 Edward VIII:
Britain’s Traitor
King (R) (S).

7.45 Harry Wild
Investigates
Harry and
Fergus agree to
help a local loan
shark (S).

7.00 Michael Palin:
The Art Of Travel
(S).
7.10 Michael Palin’s
Hemingway
Adventure (S).

8.50 Casualty Charlie
questions his
loyalties as the
ED reaches
breaking point
(S).

8.50 Chaka Khan At
The BBC Archive
performances
by the American
singer (S).

8.45 Starstruck Four
more teams of
superfans are
transformed
into their music
idols (S).

8.50 Formula 1 Saudi
Arabian Grand
Prix Qualifying
Highlights
Action from
Jeddah Corniche
Circuit (S).

8.50 Challenge
Anneka New
series. Revival of
the show in
which Anneka
Rice takes on
tasks (S).

8.00 Michael Palin:
Travels Of A
Lifetime (S).

9PM

9.40 Not Going Out
Lee decides to
teach the twins
about the facts
of life (R) (S).

9.30 Aretha Franklin:
Duets A 1993
concert from
Manhattan’s
Nederlander
Theatre (R) (S).

9.55 The Jonathan
Ross Show With
Liam Neeson,
Mel Giedroyc
and Munya
Chawawa (S).

10.10 BBC News;
Weather (S).
10.30 Match Of The
Day Highlights
of the latest
matches (S).

10.20 Randy Crawford
At Drury Lane A
1981 concert by
the American
jazz and R&B
singer (R) (S).

10.55 ITV News;
Weather (S).

11.50 FILM:
Halloween
(David Gordon
Green 2018)
Horror, starring
Jamie Lee Curtis
(S).

11.30 Queens Of Soul
Celebration of
the female
singers who
define the genre
(R) (S).

11.15 Bradley &
Barney Walsh:
Breaking Dad (R)
(S).
11.45 English Football
League
Highlights (S).

1.35 BBC News (S).

12.30 FILM: Northern Soul
(Elaine Constantine 2014)
Drama, starring Elliot
James Langridge (S). 2.05
Dave (R) (S). 2.35 Dave (R).
3.05 Dave (R) (S). 3.35 This
Is BBC Two (S).

1.30 Shop: Ideal World
3.00 Unwind With ITV (S).
4.15 Love Your Weekend
With Alan Titchmarsh
(R) (S).

LATE

11PM

8PM

7PM

7.55 Michael
McIntyre’s The
Wheel With
guests including
Jonathan Ross
and Sara Cox (S).

1.00 FILM: Patriots
Day (Peter Berg 2016)
Fact-based drama (S).
3.15 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (R) (S).
4.05 Jamie’s One-Pan
Wonders (R) (S). 4.15
Hollyoaks Omnibus (R) (S).

10.20 When Classic TV
Goes Horribly
Wrong (R) (S).

1.10 The LeoVegas Live
Casino Show (S). 3.10
Tutankhamun With Dan
Snow (R) (S). 3.55 The
Woman With 106 Dogs
(R) (S). 4.40 Friends (R) (S).
5.30 Nick’s Quest (R) (S).
5.55 Peppa Pig (R) (S).

Paris Police 1905

9pm, BBC Four
The final double bill of this
rather fine French period
detective drama begins with
Inspector Jouin (Jérémie Laheurte)
banged up for his “nocturnal
habits” in the Bois de Boulogne
and (these being less enlightened

Jouin ends up on the
wrong side of the law
9pm, BBC Four

6.00 Unwind With ITV (S).
6.15 Coronation Street
Omnibus (S). 9.00 Dress
To Impress (S). 10.00
Dress To Impress (S).
11.00 Australian Ninja
Warrior (S). 12.40 FILM:
The Sisterhood Of The
Traveling Pants 2 (Sanaa
Hamri 2008) Comedy
sequel, starring Amber
Tamblyn (S). 2.55 FILM: The
Lego Batman Movie (Chris
McKay 2017) Animated
comedy, featuring the
voice of Will Arnett (S).
5.00 FILM: Matilda (Danny
DeVito 1996) Children’s
fantasy comedy, starring
Mara Wilson (S).

6.55 FILM: Yes Man
(Peyton Reed
2008) Comedy,
starring Jim
Carrey (S).

6.50 FILM: I, Robot
(Alex Proyas
2004) Sci-fi
thriller, starring
Will Smith (S).

9.00 FILM: The
Equalizer
(Antoine Fuqua
2014) Action
thriller, starring
Denzel
Washington (S).

9.00 FILM: There’s
Something
About Mary
(Peter Farrelly,
Bobby Farrelly
1998) (S).

11.20 Michael Palin’s
Hemingway
Adventure
Travel series
following in the
author’s
footsteps (S).

11.40 FILM: The
Equalizer 2
(Antoine Fuqua
2018) Action
thriller, starring
Denzel
Washington (S).

11.25 Family Guy (S).
11.55 Family Guy (S).

12.05 Clive James:
Postcard From Miami (S).
12.55 Paris Police 1905
(S). 1.55 Paris Police 1905
(S). 2.55 Bent Coppers:
Crossing The Line Of Duty
(S). 3.55 Close

2.00 FILM: Cube (Vincenzo
Natali 1997) Sci-fi horror,
starring Nicole deBoer (S).
3.50 Close

12.25 American Dad! (S).
12.55 American Dad! (S).
1.25 All American (S). 2.15
Totally Bonkers Guinness
World Records (S). 2.45
Unwind With ITV (S). 3.00
Teleshopping

9.00 Paris Police
1905 (S).
9.55 Paris Police
1905 Last in the
series (S).

10.20 FILM: Midway
(Roland
Emmerich 2019)
Second World
War drama,
starring Ed
Skrein (S).

reality show in which Anneka
Rice – the then-breakout star
of Channel 4’s Treasure Hunt
and famous for leaping out of
helicopters in a yellow jumpsuit
– was given tasks to accomplish in
a set time. She begins this reboot
at a dog rescue centre in Kent
with the building of a new block of
kennels, a grooming parlour, and
a play area.

Sara Cox takes on
canine questions
7.55pm, BBC One

10PM

6PM

DAYTIME

England captain Owen Farrell’s side visit
Ireland in the Six Nations finale, 4.30pm, ITV1

radio

10.50 As Time Goes By
Jean makes a
play for Alistair
(S).

culture

times) being sniggered at by
colleagues for being an “invert”.
Out for revenge, Jouin plots a
raid on the pleasure palace of the
Chateau de Bagatelle in the hope
of bagging a few hypocrites in the
Vice Squad.

FILM CHOICE

Dublin Narcos

9pm, Sky Documentaries
After heroin and ecstasy,
cocaine became the drug of
choice in the Irish capital. The
economic boom that saw the
nation being dubbed the Celtic
Tiger also witnessed the city’s
new breed of yuppies snorting
white powder with wild abandon
sparking a deadly turf war
between rival gangs.
Gerard Gilbert

6.00 Bless This House (S).
6.40 Bless This House (S).
7.10 FILM: Holiday On
The Buses (Bryan Izzard
1973) Comedy, starring
Reg Varney (S). 8.50 Larry
Grayson: Shut That Door!
(S). 10.50 Rosemary &
Thyme (S). 11.50 Rosemary
& Thyme (S). 12.50
Midsomer Murders (S).
2.55 Midsomer Murders
(S). 4.55 Midsomer
Murders (S).

Bend It Like Beckham

2.30pm, Film4
(Gurinda Chadha, 2002)
Likeable and popular culture-clash
sporting drama, about a suburban
English teenager (Parminder
Nagra) who dreams of playing
professional football despite the
objections of her traditional Sikh
parents, who think it unseemly
for a girl. Keira Knightley makes
a splash as her supportive best
friend and teammate.

Indiana Jones and
the Last Crusade

Harrison Ford returns as Indiana Jones
in ‘The Last Crusade’, 6.25pm, E4

6.25pm, E4
(Steven Spielberg, 1989)
Indiana Jones’s third adventure
recycles too many elements of
his first, having a mythological

8.55 Food Unwrapped (S).
9.30 A Place In The Sun (S).
10.25 A Place In The Sun
(S). 11.25 A Place In The
Sun (S). 12.30 Location,
Location, Location (S). 1.35
Come Dine With Me (S).
2.05 Come Dine With Me
(S). 2.35 Come Dine With
Me (S). 3.10 Come Dine
With Me (S). 3.40 Come
Dine With Me (S). 4.15
Four In A Bed (S). 4.45
Four In A Bed (S). 5.20
Four In A Bed (S). 5.50
Four In A Bed (S).

6.25 FILM: Indiana
Jones And The
Last Crusade
(Steven
Spielberg 1989)
(S).

6.20 Four In A Bed
The B&B
owners meet to
settle some
scores (S).
6.55 Home Greek
Home (S).

6.00 Hawaii Five-0 A
murder
investigation
leads the team
to the local
roller derby (R)
(S).

6.40 Succession
Kendall and
Logan arrange a
secret meeting
with PGM CEO
Rhea Jarrell (R)
(S).

7.55 Jonathan Ross’
Myths And
Legends (S).

7.00 Hawaii Five-0 A
tour company
falls victim to a
string of arson
attacks (R) (S).

7.50 Succession
Kendall makes
his case to
Naomi Pierce (R)
(S).

7.00 Midsomer
Murders A
prize-winning
author is
murdered (S).

6.00 Highway Patrol (R)
(S). 6.30 Highway Patrol (R)
(S). 7.00 Supergirl (R) (S).
8.00 Supergirl (R) (S). 9.00
Supergirl (R) (S). 10.00
Supergirl (R) (S). 11.00
Supergirl (R) (S). 12.00
Fringe (R) (S). 1.00 Fringe
(R) (S). 2.00 Fringe (R) (S).
3.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S).
4.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S).
5.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S).

6.00 Fish Town (R) (S).
6.55 Fish Town (R) (S). 7.50
Fish Town (R) (S). 8.40
The Affair (R) (S). 9.45
The Affair (R) (S). 10.50
The Affair (R) (S). 11.55
The Affair (R) (S). 1.00
The Affair (R) (S). 2.05
Gomorrah (R) (S). 3.10
Succession (R) (S). 4.20
Succession (R) (S). 5.30
Succession (R) (S).

6.00 Supernanny
USA (S). 6.50 Lego
Masters Australia (S).
8.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S).
9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S).
10.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S).
11.00 Married At First
Sight Australia (S). 12.30
Married At First Sight
Australia (S). 2.00 Modern
Family (S). 2.30 Modern
Family (S). 3.00 Modern
Family (S). 3.30 Modern
Family (S). 4.00 Modern
Family (S). 4.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S). 5.00 The
Big Bang Theory (S). 5.25
The Big Bang Theory (S).
5.55 The Big Bang Theory
(S).

School of Rock

9pm, Comedy Central
(Richard Linklater, 2003)
Dewey Finn, a thirty-something
arrested-adolescent rock geek
who poses as a substitute teacher
and inducts the children at a
stuffy prep school into the ways
of anti-authoritarianism and
ridiculous guitar solos, was a part
written especially for Jack Black
– and he plays his signature role
with gusto. A mildly anarchic and
great fun family comedy.
Laurence Phelan

Radio
listings
BBC Radio 1

6am Radio 1 Happy 7.00 Adele Roberts 10.00
Radio 1 Anthems 10.30 Newsbeat 10.32 Radio
1 Anthems 11.02 Katie Thistleton 1pm Matt
And Mollie 4.00 Radio 1’s Dance Anthems
5.00 Radio 1’s Dance Anthems 6.00 Radio 1’s
Dance Anthems 7.00 Radio 1’s Soundsystem
Party With Jeremiah Asiamah 9.00 1Xtra’s
Rap Show 11.00 Radio 1’s Drum & Bass Show
12mdn’t Radio 1’s Drum & Bass Mix 12.30
Radio 1’s Drum & Bass Mix 1.00 Radio 1’s
Classic Essential Mix 3.00 Future Dance Mix
With Sarah Story 3.30 Pete Tong’s Hot Mix 4.00
Radio 1’s Dance Anthems 5.00 Radio 1 Relax

BBC Radio 1Xtra

8.00 A League Of
Their Own Road
Trip: Southeast
Asia Previously
unseen footage
from the show
(R).
9.00 Midsomer
Murders A
postman’s
murder exposes
dark dealings (S).

religious artefact as the MacGuffin
and the Nazis as the villains again,
and even recreating key action
scenes. What is new and quite fun
is Sean Connery as Dr Jones Sr.

6am 1Xtra’s R&B Chill Mix 7.00 Saturday
Breakfast 10.00 Nick Bright 1pm Fee Mak 4.00
Sian Anderson And Tazer Black 7.00 1Xtraís
Pre-Party Show With DJ Target 9.00 1Xtra’s
Rap Show 11.00 Ace 12.30am Ace 1.00 1Xtra’s
Throwback Party 2.00 1Xtra’s Cosmic Wind
Down With Jamz Supernova 3.00 Benji B 5.00
Amapiano To AfroHouse

BBC Radio 2

6am Sounds Of The 60s With Tony Blackburn
8.00 Dermot O’Leary 10.00 Anita Rani 1pm
Pick Of The Pops 2.00 Pick Of The Pops 3.00
Rylan On Saturday 6.00 Liza Tarbuck 8.00
Sounds Of The 80s With Gary Davies 10.00
Sounds Of The 90s With Fearne Cotton
11.00 Sounds Of The 90s With Fearne Cotton
12mdn’t C2C London Live – Thomas Rhett 1.00
Dance Sounds Of The 90s With Vernon Kay
2.00 C2C Live – Lady A 3.00 The Showstopper
4.00 Radio 2 In Concert: Scissor Sisters 5.00
Tracks Of My Years

BBC Radio 3

7am Breakfast 9.00 Record Review 11.45 Music
Matters 12.30pm This Classical Life 1.00 Inside
Music 3.00 Sound Of Cinema 4.00 Music
Planet 5.00 J To Z 6.00 Opera On 3 10.30 New
Music Show 12mdn’t Freeness 1.00 Through
The Night

9.00 Celebrity
Gogglebox
Dragons’ Den,
Gok Wan’s Easy
Asian and The
Yorkshire Vet are
appraised (S).

9.00 24 Hours In A&E
A 79-year-old
woman is
brought in with
signs of a stroke
(S).

9.00 Freddie Down
Under Andrew
Flintoff and Rob
Penn set off on a
barbecue
adventure (R) (S).

9.00 Game Of
Thrones Cersei
finds herself
seeking
forgiveness (R)
(S).

10.00 Gogglebox
Appraised
programmes
include Naked
Attraction and
Escape from
Pretoria (S).

10.00 24 Hours In A&E
A retired
firefighter is
treated after
being hit in the
face with a golf
club (S).

10.00 Banshee (R) (S).
10.55 Fantasy Football
League With
Roman Kemp
and Russell
Howard. Last in
the series (R).

10.05 Game Of
Thrones The
fate of Jon Snow
is revealed (R)
(S).

11.05 Arthur & George
Period drama,
starring Martin
Clunes as Arthur
Conan Doyle (S).

11.05 Gogglebox
Opinions on
Line of Duty and
Ant & Dec’s
Saturday Night
Takeaway (S).

11.05 8 Out Of 10 Cats
Does
Countdown
With Lee Mack,
Catherine Tate,
Sean Lock and
Miles Jupp (S).

11.30 A Town Called
Malice Crime
thriller, starring
Jack Rowan (R).

11.10 Game Of
Thrones The
Night’s Watch
stands behind
Alliser Thorne
(R) (S).

12.05 Arthur & George (S).
1.10 Arthur & George (S).
2.20 Unwind With ITV (S).
2.30 Teleshopping

12.10 First Dates (S).
1.15 First Dates (S). 2.20
Celebrity Gogglebox
(S). 3.15 Gogglebox (S).
4.10 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S).
5.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S).

12.10 8 Out Of 10 Cats
Does Countdown (S). 1.15
24 Hours In A&E (S). 2.15
24 Hours In A&E (S). 3.20
Food Unwrapped (S). 3.50
Close

12.40 Funny Woman (R).
1.35 Road Wars (R). 2.00
Air Ambulance ER (R) (S).
3.00 Caribbean Cops (R)
(S). 4.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R)
(S). 5.00 Air Ambulance
ER (R) (S).

12.15 Game Of Thrones (R)
(S). 1.20 Game Of Thrones
(R) (S). 2.25 Perry Mason (R)
(S). 3.35 In Treatment (R)
(S). 4.05 Fish Town (R) (S).
5.00 Fish Town (R) (S).

BBC Radio 4

6am News And Papers 6.07 Ramblings 6.30
Farming Today This Week 6.57 Weather 7.00
Today 9.00 Saturday Live 10.30 Rewinder
11.00 The Week In Westminster 11.30 From
Our Own Correspondent 12noon News
12.04 Money Box 12.30 The Now Show 12.57
Weather 1.00 News 1.10 Any Questions? 2.00
Any Answers? 2.45 Drama: Look Back In Anger
4.15 Weekend Woman’s Hour 5.00 Saturday
PM 5.30 Sliced Bread 5.54 Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather 6.00 Six O’Clock News 6.15 Loose
Ends 7.00 Profile 7.15 The Infinite Monkey
Cage 8.00 Archive On 4: Writing Our Mothers
9.00 GF Newman’s The Corrupted 9.45 The
Skewer 10.00 News 10.15 The Moral Maze
11.00 Counterpoint 11.30 The Poet Laureate
Has Gone To His Shed 12mdn’t Midnight
News 12.15 Understand: The Economy 12.30
Blackspot 12.48 Shipping Forecast 1.00 As
BBC World Service 5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing 5.43 Bells On Sunday 5.45
Profile

BBC Radio 4 LW

8.30am Yesterday In Parliament 12.01pm
Shipping Forecast

BBC Radio 4 Extra

6am Bag-a-Bagel 6.45 Double Trouble 7.30
Wannabe 8.15 Showing Up 9.00 We’re In
Business 9.30 Whack-O! 10.00 Mastertapes
– Access All Areas 11.00 Bag-a-Bagel 11.45
Double Trouble 12.30pm Wannabe 1.15
Showing Up 2.00 We’re In Business 2.30

55

On Demand
Bono and the Edge:
A Sort of Homecoming
Disney+
Dave Letterman visits
Dublin to hang out with
the U2 musicians.
Better BBC iPlayer
A bent cop attempts
to go straight in this
claustrophobic thriller series.
Physical: 100 Netflix
Forget Squid Game; this
South Korean survival
contest is for real.

Whack-O! 3.00 Mastertapes – Access All
Areas 4.00 Doctor Who: The War Doctor 4.36
Mysterious Tales By Wilkie Collins 5.00 Baga-Bagel 5.45 Double Trouble 6.30 Wannabe
7.15 Showing Up 8.00 We’re In Business
8.30 Whack-O! 9.00 Mastertapes – Access All
Areas 10.00 Comedy Club: John Finnemore’s
Souvenir Programme 10.30 Comedy Club:
I, Regress 10.45 Comedy Club: The In Crowd
11.00 Comedy Club: Extinction Compendium
11.30 Comedy Club: Will Smith’s Midlife
Crisis Management 12mdn’t Doctor Who:
The War Doctor 12.36 In The Abyss 1.00 Baga-Bagel 1.45 Double Trouble 2.30 Wannabe
3.15 Showing Up 4.00 We’re In Business 4.30
Whack-O! 5.00 Mastertapes – Access All Areas

BBC 5 Live

6am Saturday Breakfast 9.00 Patrick Kielty
11.00 Fighting Talk 12noon 5 Live Sport 3.00
5 Live Sport 5.00 Rugby Union 7.00 5 Live
Sport 7.30 6-0-6 9.00 Stephen Nolan 12mdn’t
Newscast 1.00 Laura McGhie 5.00 Sports Desk

BBC 6 Music

6am Amy Lamé 8.00 Stuart Maconie 10.00 The
Huey Show 1pm Jamz Supernova On 6 3.00
Gilles Peterson 6.00 The Craig Charles Funk
And Soul Show 9.00 The Blessed Madonna
12mdn’t Lose Yourself With 1.00 Lose Yourself
With 2.00 The Morning After Mix 4.00 The
Morning After Mix

Classic FM

7am Alan Titchmarsh 10.00 Aled Jones 1pm
Alexander Armstrong 4.00 A Hastings Concert
Exclusive With Moira Stuart 7.00 Saturday
Night At The Movies 9.00 David Mellor’s
Melodies 10.00 Smooth Classics 1am Katie
Breathwick 4.00 Sam Pittis

Absolute Radio

8am Frank Skinner 11.00 Sarah Champion 2pm
Rock ’n’ Roll Football With Matt Forde 5.00
Andy Bush’s Indie Disco 7.00 Absolute Classic
Rock Party With Claire Sturgess 10.00 Sophie
K 4am Emil Franchi

Heart

6am Rob Howard 9.00 Heart’s Feel Good
Weekend With JK&Kelly Brook 12noon Heart’s
Feel Good Weekend With Dev Griffin 4.00
Mark Wright 7.00 Heart’s Club Classics With
Pandora Christie 11.00 Rezzy Ghadjar 1am
Heart’s Feel Good Weekend With Katrina
Ridley

TalkSPORT

6am GameDay Breakfast 10.00 GameDay
Warm Up 1pm GameDay Live 5.30 FA Cup
GameDay Live 8.00 The GameDay Phone-In
10.00 Fight Night 1am Extra Time With
Martin Kelner

RADIO PICK
Archive on 4:
Writing Our Mothers
8pm, BBC Radio 4

Archive clips
exploring how
female writers have
tackled mother
figures in their work
throughout history.
Featuring interviews with
writers including Maya Angelou
(above), who reflects on how
being abandoned by her mother
shaped her examinations of class,
race and love.

56

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Sunday television
CRITIC’S CHOICE

6.20 Gardeners’ World (R)
(S). 7.20 Countryfile (R) (S).
8.30 Pilgrimage: The Road
To The Scottish Isles (R)
(S). 9.30 Saturday Kitchen
Best Bites (S). 11.00 Rick
Stein’s Cornwall (R) (S).
11.30 Coast To Coast Food
Festival (R) (S). 12.00 FILM:
The Cruel Sea (Charles
Frend 1953) Second World
War nautical adventure,
starring Jack Hawkins
(S). 2.05 FILM: Brief
Encounter (David Lean
1945) Romantic drama,
starring Celia Johnson
and Trevor Howard (S).
3.35 Hippos: Africa’s River
Giants (R) (S). 4.35 Interior
Design Masters With Alan
Carr (R) (S). 5.35 Flog It!
(R) (S).

6.00 CITV 9.25 ITV
News (S). 9.30 Love Your
Weekend With Alan
Titchmarsh (S). 11.15 Live
FA Cup Football Sheffield
United vs Blackburn
Rovers. Kick-off is at
12pm (S). 2.15 Celebrity
Lingo (R) (S). 3.15 You’ve
Been Framed! (R) (S). 3.45
Live FA Cup Football
Manchester United vs
Fulham. Kick-off is at
4.30pm (S).

6PM

6.00 Countryfile
Matt Baker and
Anita Rani meet
volunteers
doing
conservation
work (S).

6.00 Six Nations
Rugby Special
Ugo Monye
presents action
from the final
round of
fixtures (S).

6.45 ITV News;
Weather (S).
6.55 ITV Regional
News; Weather
(S).

7PM

7.00 Wild Isles The
wildlife of
Britain’s
woodlands
through the
seasons (S).

7.00 Amazing Hotels:
Life Beyond The
Lobby Last in
the series (R) (S).

7.00 The Chase
Celebrity
Special Bradley
Walsh presents
the quiz show.
(S).

8PM

8.00 Antiques
Roadshow Fiona
Bruce presents
the show from
Clissold Park in
Stoke
Newington (S).

8.00 Britain’s Biggest
Warship Goes To
Sea HMS Queen
Elizabeth sets
out on a
transatlantic
crossing (R) (S).

8.00 Grace New
series. Return of
the crime drama,
starring John
Simm (S).

9PM

9.00 The Gold Boyce,
Jennings and
Brightwell make
a shocking
realisation. Last
in the series (S).

9.00 We Need To Talk
About Cosby A
look at how Bill
Cosby struck
television gold
with The Cosby
Show (S).

10.00 BBC News;
Weather (S).
10.25 BBC Regional
News; Weather
(S).
10.30 Match Of The
Day 2 (S).

10.00 QI XL (S).
10.45 FILM: The Hurt
Locker (Kathryn
Bigelow 2008)
Iraq War drama,
starring Jeremy
Renner (S).

11.10 Go Hard Or Go
Home The final
three fight to
be crowned
winner. Last in
the series (R) (S).

LATE

DAYTIME

6.00 Breakfast (S). 7.40
Match Of The Day (R) (S).
9.00 Sunday With Laura
Kuenssberg (S). 10.00
Politics England (S). 10.30
Sunday Morning Live
(S). 11.30 Homes Under
The Hammer (R) (S). 12.15
Bargain Hunt (R) (S). 1.00
BBC News; Weather (S).
1.15 Songs Of Praise (S).
1.50 Match Of The Day
Live: The FA Cup Brighton
& Hove Albion vs Grimsby
Town. Kick-off is at 2.15pm
(S). 4.35 Wild Isles (R) (S).
5.35 BBC News (S). 5.50
BBC Regional News;
Weather (S).

10PM

7pm, BBC One
If you have been gardening and
found yourself being followed
around by a robin, David
Attenborough reckons it’s because,
to the little bird, “We’re just a
pig on two legs.” He is referring
to the symbiotic relationship
between robins and the wild boar
newly introduced to the Forest
of Dean, as the naturalist surveys
British woodlands through the
seasons. He begins by standing
next to a tree that makes him
seem like a whippersnapper in
comparison – a 700-year-old oak.
Other creatures featured include
the world’s largest land slug and
starlings falling prey to owls on
Bodmin Moor.

11PM

John Simm’ detective superintendent ‘Grace’
investigates a rape in Brighton, 8pm, ITV1

Wild Isles

12.10 Emma, Oti &
Rylan’s Big Red Nose Day
Challenge (R) (S). 1.15 BBC
News (S).

10.00 ITV News;
Weather (S).
10.15 DNA Journey
With Alex
Brooker and
Johnny Vegas
(R) (S).

radio
Enigma: The Monster
of Loch Ness

7pm, Channel 5
From real wild creatures to
legendary ones – unless, of course,
you happen to be a firm believer in
the Loch Ness Monster. This new
series examines forensic evidence
of Nessie’s existence and begins
by looking at how the purported
monster’s fame was spread by
a series of sightings and press
photographs in the 30s.

The Great Celebrity Bake Off
for Stand Up to Cancer

7.45pm, Channel 4
Matt Lucas hosts the stellar
awareness-raising series of the
baking show. The first batch of
contestants are David Schwimmer,

6.20 FILM: Rugrats In
Paris (Stig Bergqvist, Paul
Demeyer 2000) Animated
adventure, with the voice
of Christine Cavanaugh (S).
7.40 The King Of Queens
(R) (S). 8.05 The King Of
Queens (R) (S). 8.30 The
Simpsons (R) (S). 9.00
The Simpsons (R) (S). 9.30
Sunday Brunch (S). 12.30
The Simpsons (R) (S). 1.00
The Simpsons (R) (S).
1.30 FILM: Tooth Fairy
(Michael Lembeck 2010)
Family comedy (S). 3.35
The Dog House (R) (S). 4.35
Channel 4 News (S). 5.05
The Andrew Neil Show
(S). 5.50 FILM: Sister Act
(Emile Ardolino 1992)
Comedy, starring Whoopi
Goldberg (S).

12.20 Shop: Ideal World
3.00 Cold Case Detectives
(R) (S). 3.50 Unwind With
ITV (S). 5.00 Jeremy Pang’s
Asian Kitchen (R) (S).

Grace

We Need to Talk
About Cosby

8pm, ITV1
If these adaptations of Peter
James’s crime novels have yet to
do for Brighton what the various
Morse series have done for Oxford,
it’s perhaps because they haven’t
really tapped into what makes
the East Sussex city so special.
A new series begins with a story
based on James’s 2010 book Dead
Like You, where Assistant Chief
Constable Alison Vosper (Rakie
Ayola) is holding her retirement
party at the same hotel where

7.00 Enigma: The
Monster Of Loch
Ness (S).

9pm, BBC Two
It may have less resonance with
a British audience, but this series
has done a fine job of revealing the
dissonance in American minds
between the image of Bill Cosby
as “America’s Dad” and those
copious allegations of sexual
assault. This episode looks at how
The Cosby Show – about a family
“living in a sort of black utopia”
– saved NBC (one-quarter of the
US population tuning in to one

A look at disgraced
comedian Bill Cosby
9pm, BBC Two

David Schwimmer is
among the famous
faces in the ‘Great
Celebrity Bake Off’ tent
7.45pm, Channel 4

6.00 Totally Bonkers
Guinness World Records
(S). 6.35 Love Bites (S). 7.35
Love Bites (S). 8.30 Love
Bites (S). 9.30 Dress To
Impress (S). 10.35 Dress
To Impress (S). 11.35
Catchphrase (S). 12.20
Family Fortunes (S). 1.25
FILM: Step Up 3 (Jon Chu
2010) Dance drama sequel,
starring Rick Malambri
(S). 3.30 FILM: Dr Seuss’
The Lorax (Chris Renaud,
Kyle Balda 2012) Animated
fantasy, with the voice
of Danny DeVito (S). 5.20
FILM: Despicable Me 3
(Kyle Balda, Pierre Coffin
2017) Animated sequel,
with the voice of Steve
Carell (S).

Greg James hosts
‘Rise and Fall’
9pm, Channel 4

7.00 Come Dancing
(S).
7.40 Inside Classical:
Sol Gabetta
Plays Elgar’s
Cello Concerto
(S).

6.15 FILM: X-Men:
Apocalypse
(Bryan Singer
2016) Superhero
adventure
sequel (S).

7.05 FILM: Legally
Blonde (Robert
Luketic 2001)
Comedy,
starring Reese
Witherspoon (S).

9.00 FILM: Cast Away
(Robert
Zemeckis 2000)
Drama, starring
Tom Hanks and
Helen Hunt (S).

9.00 Love Island: The
Reunion This
year’s islanders
reunite to
discuss their
time on the
show (S).

8.00 Bargain-Loving
Brits In The Sun
New series.
Return of the
documentary (S).

9.00 Rise And Fall
New series.
Reality contest
on the theme of
wealth and
power (S).

9.00 Into Death
Valley With Nick
Knowles Nick
ventures into
one of the least
hospitable
places (S).

9.10 Wayne Shorter
At The London
Jazz Festival (S).
9.50 Britain’s Most
Fragile Treasure
(S).

10.15 Formula 1 Saudi
Arabian Grand
Prix Highlights
The second
round of the
campaign (S).

10.00 Britpop: The
Music That
Changed Britain
The story of
1995 (S).

10.50 Clive James:
Postcard From
Chicago The
writer visits the
Windy City (S).

11.30 Britain’s
Favourite 90s
Hits Celebrating
the biggestselling singles of
the 1990s (R) (S).

11.45 Victorian
Sensations
Philippa Perry
explores ghosts,
science and
early cinema in
the 1890s (S).

11.50 FILM: Calm With
Horses (Nick
Rowland 2019)
Crime drama,
starring Cosmo
Jarvis and Barry
Keoghan (S).

11.00 Family Guy
Peter opens
up his own
food truck
business (S).
11.30 Family Guy (S).
11.55 Family Guy (S).

1.20 The LeoVegas Live
Casino Show (S). 3.20
Friends (R) (S). 3.45
Friends (R) (S). 4.10 Get
Your Tatts Out: Kavos Ink
(R) (S). 5.00 Britain’s Great
Cathedrals With Tony
Robinson (R) (S).

12.45 Sold! Inside The
World’s Biggest Auction
House (S). 1.45 Britain’s
Most Fragile Treasure
(S). 2.45 Michael Palin:
Travels Of A Lifetime (S).
3.45 Close

1.55 FILM: Chained For
Life (Aaron Schimberg
2018) Comedy drama,
starring Jess Weixler and
Adam Pearson (S). 3.50
Close

12.25 American Dad! (S).
12.55 American Dad! (S).
1.25 All American (S). 2.20
Totally Bonkers Guinness
World Records (S). 2.45
Unwind With ITV (S). 3.00
Teleshopping

11.25 Unbelievable
Moments
Caught On
Camera
Alexander
Armstrong
presents (R) (S).
12.50 Dave (R) (S). 1.20 Sign
Zone: Question Time (R)
(S). 2.20 Sign Zone: Sort
Your Life Out With Stacey
Solomon (R) (S). 3.20 This
Is BBC Two (S).

a rape is committed. Roy Grace
(John Simm) fears the attack may
signal the return of the so-called
Brighton Prowler – a rapist he
failed to put away 10 years earlier.

6.00 Milkshake!
10.00 The Smurfs
(S). 10.10 SpongeBob
SquarePants (R) (S). 10.25
Entertainment News On
5 (S). 10.30 Friends (R) (S).
12.25 Friends (R) (S). 12.55
FILM: The Disappearing
Game: An Aurora
Teagarden Mystery (Terry
Ingram 2018) (S). 1.55
Entertainment News
On 5 (S). 2.00 FILM: The
Disappearing Game:
An Aurora Teagarden
Mystery (Terry Ingram
2018) (R) (S). 2.35
Holidaying With Jane
McDonald (R) (S). 4.05
When Cruises Go Horribly
Wrong (R) (S). 5.35
Greatest Chocolate Ads Of
All Time (R) (S).

6.55 5 News
Weekend (S).

7.45 The Great
Celebrity Bake
Off For Stand Up
To Cancer New
series. Matt
Lucas hosts (S).

Jesy Nelson, Rose Matafeo and
Tom Davis, who must take on
a fiddly French confection and
recreate their most embarrassing
celebrity fail in meringue.

12.50 FILM: Hell Or High
Water (David Mackenzie
2016) (S). 2.35 Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares
USA (R) (S). 3.25 Come
Dine With Me (R) (S). 5.35
Jamie’s Comfort Food

10.35 Family Guy
Brian and Chris
look after Stewie
when he gets
injured playing
football (S).

culture

episode) and made Cosby millions
in commercial sponsorship.
Meanwhile, in his dressing room…

FILM CHOICE

Rise and Fall

9pm, Channel 4
BBC Radio 1 presenter Greg James
hosts this new live “part reality
show, part social experiment”
from the makers of The Traitors.
Sixteen contestants are divided
into “Rulers” and “Grafters” – the
former living in an “opulent
penthouse”, the latter subsisting in
the basement while being set tasks
that win cash for the Rulers. If the
Grafters are pushed too hard, there
may be trouble for the penthousedwellers. Politics for beginners,
you might call it.
Gerard Gilbert

Brief Encounter

2.05pm, BBC Two
(David Lean, 1945)
This much loved weepie, from
a Noël Coward play in which
a middle-class housewife and
mother (Celia Johnson) deliberates
about whether or not to act on her
attraction to kindly doctor Trevor
Howard, is a genuinely heady
mix of bygone moral constraints,
Rachmaninoff and steam trains.

The Bling Ring

Jeff Bridges tracks two wayward brothers in
‘Hell or High Water’, 12.50am, Channel 4

9pm, BBC Three
(Sofia Coppola, 2013)
Like an unauthorised Cribs,
Coppola’s deadpan comedy breaks
us into the homes of LA’s rich and
famous circa 2010 (Paris Hilton;
Lindsay Lohan, Rachel Bilson) in

6.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus
(S). 8.30 Married At
First Sight Australia
(S). 10.00 Married At
First Sight Australia (S).
11.35 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S).
12.35 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S).
1.35 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S).
2.35 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S). 3.35
The Big Bang Theory (S).
4.05 The Big Bang Theory
(S). 4.35 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 5.00 The Big
Bang Theory (S). 5.30 The
Big Bang Theory (S).

8.55 George Clarke’s
Amazing Spaces (S). 9.55
Ugly House To Lovely
House With George
Clarke (S). 11.00 George
Clarke’s Old House, New
Home (S). 12.00 Come
Dine With Me (S). 12.35
Come Dine With Me (S).
1.05 Come Dine With Me
(S). 1.35 Come Dine With
Me (S). 2.10 Come Dine
With Me (S). 2.40 Four
In A Bed (S). 3.10 Four In
A Bed (S). 3.40 Four In A
Bed (S). 4.10 Four In A Bed
(S). 4.40 Four In A Bed (S).
5.15 Come Dine With Me
(S). 5.50 Come Dine With
Me (S).

6.00 DC’s Legends Of
Tomorrow (R) (S). 7.00 DC’s
Legends Of Tomorrow (R)
(S). 8.00 DC’s Legends Of
Tomorrow (R) (S). 9.00 DC’s
Legends Of Tomorrow (R)
(S). 10.00 DC’s Legends Of
Tomorrow (R) (S). 11.00
NCIS: New Orleans (R) (S).
12.00 NCIS: New Orleans
(R) (S). 1.00 NCIS: New
Orleans (R) (S). 2.00 NCIS:
New Orleans (R) (S). 3.00
NCIS: Los Angeles (R) (S).
4.00 Fringe (R) (S). 5.00
Fringe (R) (S).

6.00 The Big Bang
Theory Guest
starring
Billy Bob
Thornton (S).
6.25 Lego Masters
Australia (S).

6.20 Come Dine With
Me (S).
6.55 Come Dine With
Me Eleri Watson
hosts the fourth
dinner party (S).

6.00 Fringe Olivia is
pursued by a
mysterious
entity. Drama,
starring Anna
Torv and Joshua
Jackson (R) (S).

6.30 Succession
Logan, Kendall,
Gerri and Tom
testify before
Congress (R) (S).

7.45 FILM: Indiana
Jones And The
Kingdom Of The
Crystal Skull
(Steven
Spielberg 2008)
(S).

7.25 Come Dine With
Me Ken Brown
hosts the final
dinner party in
Co Durham and
Wearside (S).

7.00 Fringe The team
finds a tunnel
filled with
human remains.
Sci-fi drama,
starring Anna
Torv (R) (S).

7.40 Succession
Logan weighs up
a huge decision
(R).

8.00 Long Lost
Family A
woman searches
for her Sri
Lankan birth
mother (S).

8.00 Emergency
Helicopter
Medics A
woman is
trapped in her
car on the
A66 (S).

8.00 SEAL Team
Bravo is
deployed in
Russiancontrolled
territory (R) (S).

9.00 Joanna Lumley’s
Unseen
Adventures
Unseen footage
from the
actress’s
travelogues (S).

9.00 24 Hours In A&E
An 85-year-old
woman faces
potentially
life-changing
injuries (S).

9.00 S.W.A.T The
team tackles a
series of
random
shootings (S).

9.00 The Last Of Us
Joel and Ellie
near the end of
their journey.
Last in the series
(R) (S).

10.00 24 Hour Baby
Hospital
Roscommon
couple Orlaith
and James
arrive at the
Rotunda (S).

10.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles A
shoot-out
results in
the theft of a
rare cultural
artifact (S).

10.00 Yellowjackets
The
Yellowjackets
opt to throw one
last party before
careening into
oblivion (R) (S).

11.05 Emergency
Helicopter
Medics: Extreme
Cycling
Emergencies (S).

11.00 The 80s:
Cinema’s
Greatest Decade
The stand-out
movies of the
1980s (R) (S).

11.05 Yellowjackets
The girls
navigate
damning
evidence and
false alibis (R) (S).

12.10 24 Hours In
A&E (S). 1.15 24 Hour
Baby Hospital (S). 2.20
Emergency Helicopter
Medics (S). 3.25 Food
Unwrapped (S). 3.55 Close

12.00 A League Of Their
Own Road Trip: Southeast
Asia (R). 1.00 Brassic (R) (S).
2.00 The Force: North East
(R) (S). 3.00 Road Wars
(R). 4.00 Air Ambulance
ER (R) (S). 5.00 Caribbean
Cops (R).

12.15 Perry Mason (R) (S).
1.30 City On A Hill (R) (S).
2.35 In Treatment (R) (S).
3.05 Fish Town (R) (S). 4.05
Fish Town (R) (S). 5.05 Fish
Town (R) (S).

6.00 Man About The
House (S). 6.35 Emmerdale
Omnibus (S). 9.25 Man
About The House (S). 9.55
Downton Abbey (S). 11.10
Downton Abbey (S). 12.20
Downton Abbey (S). 1.35
Downton Abbey (S). 2.50
Downton Abbey (S). 4.20
Agatha Christie’s Poirot
(S). 5.25 Rosemary &
Thyme (S).

6.30 Rosemary &
Thyme A wine
critic is
murdered at a
vineyard.
Starring Felicity
Kendal (S).

10.00 Wycliffe Pilot
episode of the
detective drama,
starring Jack
Shepherd as
the Cornish
copper (S).

10.05 FILM: John
Wick: Chapter 3
– Parabellum
(Chad Stahelski
2019) Action
thriller (S).

11.35 Wycliffe An
archaeology
student is shot.
Detective
drama, guest
starring Bill
Nighy. (S).
12.40 Upstairs,
Downstairs (S). 1.50
Scott & Bailey (S). 2.50
Emmerdale Omnibus (S).
5.30 Unwind With ITV (S).

12.40 Derry Girls (S). 1.10
Derry Girls (S). 1.40 Derry
Girls (S). 2.10 Derry Girls
(S). 2.40 Derry Girls (S).
3.05 Derry Girls (S). 3.30
Hollyoaks Omnibus (S).

6.00 Fish Town (R) (S).
6.55 Fish Town (R) (S). 7.50
Fish Town (R) (S). 8.40
The Affair (R) (S). 9.45
The Affair (R) (S). 10.50
The Affair (R) (S). 11.55
The Affair (R) (S). 1.00
The Affair (R) (S). 2.00
Gomorrah (R) (S). 3.05
Succession (R) (S). 4.10
Succession (R) (S). 5.20
Succession (R) (S).

the company of a gang of vapid,
celebrity-obsessed teen burglars.
It is based on a real case but
suffused with a gauzy, dreamlike
quality and set in a peculiar,
consequence-free atmosphere.

Hell or High Water

12.50am, Channel 4
(David Mackenzie, 2016)
Chris Pine and Ben Foster play
brothers on a bank-robbing spree
in rural Texas; Jeff Bridges is one
of the Rangers on their tail. It is
all about codes of loyalty and
masculinity and everyone has a
gun and a Stetson, but this isn’t
a modern-day Western so much
as morally ambiguous Texan noir
like No Country for Old Men.
Laurence Phelan

Radio
listings
BBC Radio 1

6am Radio 1’s Chillout Anthems 7.00 Adele
Roberts 10.00 Radio 1 Anthems 10.30
Newsbeat 10.32 Radio 1 Anthems 11.02 Radio
1 00s With Nat O’Leary 1pm Mollie 4.00 Radio
1’s Life Hacks 6.00 The Official Chart: First Look
On Radio 1 7.00 Radio 1’s Chillest Show 9.00
Radio 1’s Indie Show With Jack Saunders 11.00
BBC Introducing On Radio 1 12mdn’t Radio 1’s
Future Soul With Victoria Jane

BBC Radio 1Xtra

6am 1Xtra’s R&B Chill Mix 7.00 Fee Mak
10.32 The Gospel Corner 11.00 Trevor Nelson
1pm David Rodigan 3.00 The Official UK
Afrobeats Chart Show With Eddie Kadi 4.00
Rampage 7.00 Heartless Crew 9.00 1Xtra
Talks 10.00 1Xtra Introducing Show 11.30
1Xtra Introducing Show 12mdn’t Throwback
Throwdown: 10 1.00 1Xtra @ 20-20 Years Of
R&B 2.00 The Story Of Soul

BBC Radio 2

9am Steve Wright’s Sunday Love Songs 11.00
The Michael Ball Show 1pm Elaine Paige On
Sunday 3.00 Sounds Of The 70s With Johnnie
Walker 5.00 Paddy O’Connell 7.00 Tony
Blackburn’s Golden Hour 8.00 Sunday Night
Is Music Night 10.00 Radio 2 Unwinds With
Angela Griffin 11.00 Radio 2 Unwinds With
Angela Griffin 12mdn’t Phil Williams

BBC Radio 3

7am Breakfast 9.00 Sunday Morning 12noon
Private Passions 1.00 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert 2.00 The Early Music Show 3.00
Choral Evensong 4.00 Jazz Record Requests
5.00 The Listening Service 5.30 Words And
Music 6.45 Sunday Feature: X-Ray Vision –
Rudolph Fisher In Harlem 7.30 Drama On 3:
The Dance Of Death 9.30 Record Review Extra
11.00 The Silent Musician 12mdn’t Classical
Fix 12.30 Through The Night

BBC Radio 4

6am News Headlines 6.05 Something
Understood 6.35 Natural Histories 6.57
Weather 7.00 News; Sunday Papers 7.10
Sunday 7.54 Radio 4 Appeal 7.57 Weather 8.00
News; Sunday Papers 8.10 Sunday Worship
8.48 A Point Of View 8.58 Tweet Of The Day
9.00 Broadcasting House 10.00 The Archers
11.15 Desert Island Discs 12noon News 12.04
The Museum Of Curiosity 12.30 The Food
Programme 12.57 Weather 1.00 The World
This Weekend 1.30 Desperate Calls 2.00
Gardeners’ Question Time 2.45 Opening Lines
3.00 Drama: Confessions Of A Justified Sinner
4.00 Open Book 4.30 The Poet Laureate Has
Gone To His Shed 5.00 File On 4 5.40 Profile
5.54 Shipping Forecast 5.57 Weather 6.00 Six
O’Clock News 6.15 Pick Of The Week 7.00 The
Archers 7.15 The Ultimate Choice 7.45 Funny
Bones 8.00 Feedback 8.30 Last Word 9.00
Money Box 9.25 Radio 4 Appeal 9.30 Analysis
10.00 The Westminster Hour 11.00 Loose
Ends 11.30 Something Understood 12mdn’t
News And Weather 12.15 Sideways 12.45 Bells
On Sunday 12.48 Shipping Forecast 1.00 As
BBC World Service 5.20 Shipping Forecast

BBC Radio 4 LW

12.01pm Shipping Forecast

BBC Radio 4 Extra

7.40am Inheritance Tracks 7.50 Blowing The
Bloody Doors Off Omnibus 9.00 Harry Worth
In Things Could Be Worse 9.30 Something To
Shout About 10.00 Desert Island Discs: Longplay 11.00 Poetry Extra 11.30 Golden Child
Omnibus – Part Two 12.40pm Inheritance
Tracks 12.50 Blowing The Bloody Doors Off

57

On Demand
Paul Whitehouse: Our
Troubled Rivers BBC iPlayer
The comic and fisherman
investigates Britain’s
polluted waterways.
Extrapolations Apple TV+
Meryl Streep, Kit Harington
and Tobey Maguire head a
star-studded cast in this
climate-change drama.
Endeavour ITVX
Shaun Evans signs off as
young Morse in a trilogy of
70s-set mysteries.

Omnibus 2.00 Harry Worth In Things Could
Be Worse 2.30 Something To Shout About 3.00
Desert Island Discs: Long-play 4.00 Doctor
Who: The War Doctor 4.34 In The Abyss 5.00
Poetry Extra 5.30 Golden Child Omnibus – Part
Two 6.40 Inheritance Tracks 6.50 Blowing The
Bloody Doors Off Omnibus 8.00 Harry Worth
In Things Could Be Worse 8.30 Something
To Shout About 9.00 Desert Island Discs:
Long-play 10.00 Comedy Club: The Hudson
And Pepperdine Show 10.30 Comedy Club:
Isy Suttie’s Love Letters 11.00 Comedy Club:
Life With Lederer 11.15 Comedy Club: The
Kneebone Bonanza 11.30 Comedy Club: Rigor
Mortis 12mdn’t Poetry Extra 12.30 Golden
Child Omnibus – Part Two 1.40 Inheritance
Tracks 1.50 Blowing The Bloody Doors Off
Omnibus 3.00 Harry Worth In Things Could Be
Worse 3.30 Something To Shout About

BBC 5 Live

7am Sunday Breakfast 10.00 Helen Skelton
11.30 5 Live Sport 12noon 5 Live Sport 2.00
5 Live Sport 4.00 5 Live Sport 5.00 5 Live
Formula 1 6.45 6-0-6 8.00 Rugby Union 9.00
Stephen Nolan 12mdn’t Obscene: The Dublin
Scandal 12.30 Obscene: The Dublin Scandal

BBC 6 Music

6am Amy Lamé 8.00 Stuart Maconie 10.00
Cerys Matthews 1pm Dream Fuel With Arlo
Parks 2.00 Guy Garvey’s Finest Hour 4.00 Bill
Nighy 6.00 Now Playing @6Music 8.00 Stuart
Maconie’s Freak Zone 10.00 Don Letts’ Culture
Clash Radio 12mdn’t Dream Fuel With Arlo
Parks 1.00 Dream Fuel With Arlo Parks

Classic FM

7am Aled Jones 10.00 Andrew Marr 1pm
Catherine Bott 4.00 John Humphrys 7.00
Smooth Classics At Seven 9.00 The KannehMason Family Takeover 10.00 Smooth Classics
1am Bill Overton 4.00 Early Breakfast

Absolute Radio

8am Jason Manford 11.00 Sarah Champion
2pm Rock ’n’ Roll Football With Dan Noble
6.00 Request Show With Claire Sturgess 8.00
Sunday Night Music Club 12mdn’t Dan Noble

Heart

6am Rob Howard 9.00 Zoe Hardman 12noon
Yasmin Evans 4.00 The Official Big Top 40
7.00 Heart’s Feel Good Weekend With Emma
Bunton 10.00 Anna Whitehouse 12mdn’t Anna
Whitehouse 1.00 Simon Beale

TalkSPORT

6am Weekend Sports Breakfast 9.00 Jonny
Owen And Friends 11.00 The Warm Up 1pm
FA Cup GameDay Live 4.00 FA Cup GameDay
Live 7.00 The Boot Room 9.00 Trans Europe
Express 12mdn’t A TalkSPORT Special

RADIO PICK
Drama on 3:
The Dance of Death
7.30pm, BBC Radio 3

Conor McPherson’s
darkly comic
version of August
Strindberg’s classic
play about a toxic
marriage, starring
Robert Glenister, Hattie Morahan
and Blake Ritson. In a military
outpost off the coast of Sweden,
the Captain (Glenister, above) and
his wife Alice (Morahan) embark
on a series of spiteful games.

58

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Monday television
CRITIC’S CHOICE

Jamie’s £1 Wonders

8pm, Channel 4
These aren’t the best-looking
dishes that Jamie Oliver has ever
concocted, so we’ll have to take
his mantra (“maximum flavour,
minimum cost”) on trust. This
week’s hacks include using tinned
mushroom soup as the sauce in his
chicken and veg pie, and a top 10
of Jamie’s store cupboard musthaves (number one, in case anyone
was wondering: tinned tomatoes).
Helping out this week is chef
Miguel Barclay, author of a series
of books titled One Pound Meals.

Taken Hostage
Alan Yentob (right) meets Stephen Frears in
‘Director for Hire’, 10.40pm, BBC One

8.30pm, PBS America
The 1979 Iran hostage crisis was
one of the defining moments

6.00 Good Morning
Britain (S). 9.00 Lorraine
(S). 10.00 This Morning (S).
12.30 Loose Women (S).
1.30 ITV News; Weather
(S). 1.55 ITV Regional
News; Weather (S). 2.00
Dickinson’s Real Deal (R)
(S). 3.00 Lingo (R) (S). 3.59
ITV Regional Weather (S).
4.00 Tipping Point (R) (S).
5.00 The Chase (R) (S).

6.00 BBC News At
Six; Weather (S).
6.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather
(S).

6.00 Richard Osman’s
House Of Games
(R) (S).
6.30 Coast To Coast
Food Festival (S).

7.00 The One Show
(S).
7.30 EastEnders Ravi
tries to gain
access to Jack’s
files (S).

The Gold: The Inside Story

9pm, BBC One
BBC One’s dramatisation of
the Brink’s-Mat robbery, The
Gold, finished on Sunday night –
although it was so well executed, it
would be surprising if most people

hadn’t binged the whole series
weeks ago. Anyone wondering
about the accuracy of Hugh
Bonneville’s portrayal of Detective
Chief Superintendent Brian
Boyce can meet the man himself
in this documentary helping
sift facts from dramatic licence
about the 1983 heist.

Unforgotten

9pm, ITV1
The pieces of the jigsaw are falling
into place in the cold-case team’s
latest investigation. We know that
Jay (impressive newcomer Rhys
Yates) is the victim’s son, while
that mysterious Polish taxi driver
in Paris was her social worker. So
why did he quit being Precious’s
case worker the day after she

disappeared, Sunny (Sanjeev
Bhaskar) asks as he interviews
Karol (Max Rinehart) in the
French capital?

24 Hours in Police Custody:
The Honeytrap Murder

9pm, Channel 4
Two-part special following the
case of a naked man found stabbed
to death in Luton. Police discover
that it may be one of a series of
crimes in which men are lured
with the promise of sex so that
they can be robbed.

Imagine: Stephen Frears –
Director for Hire
10.40pm, BBC One
Despite decades of success
across both film (My Beautiful

6.00 World’s Funniest
Videos (S). 6.35 Totally
Bonkers Guinness World
Records (S). 7.00 Love
Bites (S). 8.00 Dress To
Impress (S). 9.00 Chuck
(S). 10.00 One Tree Hill
(S). 11.00 The O.C (S).
12.00 Love Bites (S). 1.00
Dress To Impress (S). 2.00
Supermarket Sweep (S).
3.05 Chuck (S). 4.00 One
Tree Hill (S). 5.00 The
O.C (S).

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15
Jeremy Vine (S). 1.45
Home And Away (R) (S).
2.15 FILM: She Went
Missing (Danny J Boyle
2022) Thriller, starring
Corbin Reid (S). 4.00
Bargain-Loving Brits
In The Sun (R) (S). 5.00 5
News At 5 (S).

6.00 ITV Regional
News; Weather
(S).
6.30 ITV News;
Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons
(R) (S).
6.30 Hollyoaks
Mercedes longs
to be with her
little boy again
(R) (S).

6.00 Cash In The Attic
(S).
6.30 Eggheads New
series (S).
6.55 5 News Update
(S).

Jamie Oliver reveals
his top 10 store
cupboard must-haves
in ‘£1 Wonders’
8pm, Channel 4

7.00 Between The
Covers (S).
7.30 Saving Lives At
Sea A volunteer
has to rescue
his own father
(R) (S).

7.30 Emmerdale Bob
is worried for
his daughter (S).

7.00 Channel 4 News
(S).
7.55 The Political
Slot Political
comment from
the Labour Party.

7.00 Motorway Cops:
Catching
Britain’s
Speeders (R) (S).
7.55 5 News Update
(S).

7.00 Great British
Railway
Journeys (S).
7.30 The Flying
Archaeologist
(S).

8.00 Surviving The
Pay Squeeze –
Panorama (S).
8.30 Scarlett’s
Driving School
(S).

8.00 Mastermind
Clive Myrie
hosts (S).
8.30 University
Challenge
With Jeremy
Paxman (S).

8.00 Coronation
Street Rufus
threatens to
expose Stephen
(S).

8.00 Jamie’s £1
Wonders Jamie
champions the
virtues of tinned
fish with a
speedy pasta
dish (S).

8.00 Traffic Cops A
tip-off leads to a
major drugs
bust in North
Yorkshire (S).

8.00 Archaeology: A
Secret History
Discovering
more about the
ancient
common
man (S).

9.00 The Gold: The
Inside Story The
true story of
Britain’s biggest
bullion heist (S).

9.00 Inside The
Factory XL:
Buses Ruth
Goodman learns
about London’s
earliest double
deckers (R) (S).

9.00 Unforgotten
The victim’s
mother and son
are put under
the microscope
(S).

9.00 24 Hours In
Police Custody:
The Honeytrap
Murder The
case of a naked
man stabbed to
death (S).

9.00 Casualty 24/7:
Every Second
Counts Patients
are flooding
into Barnsley
A&E (S).

9.00 Britain’s Lost
Masterpieces
Tracking down
previously
unknown
paintings by
great artists (S).

10.00 BBC News (S).
10.30 BBC Regional
News (S).
10.40 Imagine:
Stephen Frears
– Director For
Hire (S).

10.00 Detectorists
Comedy,
starring
Mackenzie
Crook and Toby
Jones (R) (S).
10.30 Newsnight (S).

10.00 ITV News At
Ten; Weather (S).
10.30 ITV Regional
News; Weather
(S).
10.45 Cold Case
Detectives (R) (S).

10.00 Rise And Fall
The action
continues as the
first Ruler is
eliminated from
the game (S).

10.00 999: Critical
Condition Dr
Richard Fawcett
treats a woman
who fell 50
metres down a
waterfall (R) (S).

10.00 The Rise Of The
Murdoch
Dynasty (S).

11.45 FILM:
Philomena
(Stephen Frears
2013) Fact-based
drama, starring
Judi Dench (S).

11.15 The Holy Land
And Us: Our
Untold Stories
Two-part
documentary (R)
(S).

11.40 English Football
League
Highlights
Action from the
latest fixtures
(R) (S).

11.05 Gogglebox The
armchair critics
are back to
watch the best
of the week’s
television (R) (S).

11.05 A&E After Dark
A patient
refuses to leave
A&E after his
treatment (R) (S).

11.00 Sword, Musket
& Machine Gun:
Britain’s Armed
History Sam
Willis traces the
evolution of
weaponry (S).

11.10 FILM: Punisher:
War Zone (Lexi
Alexander 2008)
Comic-book
thriller, starring
Ray Stevenson
(S).

11.00 Family Guy
Stewie runs
away when Meg
babysits him (S).
11.30 Family Guy (S).

1.20 Have I Got A Bit More
News For You (R) (S). 2.10
BBC News (S).

12.30 Sign Zone:
Countryfile (R) (S). 1.35
Sign Zone: Dragons’ Den
(R) (S). 2.35 Sign Zone:
Make It At Market (R) (S).
3.20 This Is BBC Two (S).

1.15 Shop: Ideal World
3.00 All Elite Wrestling:
Dynamite (S). 4.40 Unwind
With ITV (S). 5.35 Eat,
Shop, Save (R) (S).

12.10 Send Nudes: Body
SOS (R) (S). 1.05 Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA
(R) (S). 1.55 Couples Come
Dine With Me (R) (S). 2.45
Extraordinary Escapes
At Christmas With Sandi
Toksvig (R) (S).

12.05 Police Interceptors
(R) (S). 1.00 Motorway: Hell
On The Highway (R) (S).
1.50 Entertainment News
On 5 (S). 2.00 The LeoVegas
Live Casino Show (S). 3.50
Parking Hell (R) (S). 4.15
Parking Hell (R) (S).

12.00 Archaeology: A
Secret History (S). 12.55
Great British Railway
Journeys (S). 1.25 The
Flying Archaeologist
(S). 1.55 The Rise Of The
Murdoch Dynasty (S).

1.15 FILM: Thunderbolt
And Lightfoot (Michael
Cimino 1974) Comedy
drama, starring Clint
Eastwood and Jeff Bridges
(S). 3.40 Close

12.00 American Dad! (S).
12.30 American Dad! (S).
12.55 Superstore (S). 1.25
Superstore (S). 1.55 Don’t
Hate The Playaz (S). 2.40
Unwind With ITV (S). 3.00
Teleshopping

LATE

9PM

8PM

7PM

6PM

DAYTIME

6.10 Countdown (R) (S).
6.50 3rd Rock From The
Sun (R) (S). 7.15 3rd Rock
From The Sun (R) (S). 7.40
The King Of Queens (R) (S).
8.05 The King Of Queens
(R) (S). 8.30 The King Of
Queens (R) (S). 9.00 Frasier
(R) (S). 9.30 Frasier (R) (S).
10.00 Frasier (R) (S). 10.30
Undercover Boss USA
(R) (S). 11.25 Channel 4
News Summary (S). 11.30
Emergency Helicopter
Medics (S). 12.30 Steph’s
Packed Lunch (S). 2.10
Countdown (S). 3.00 Tool
Club (S). 4.00 A New Life In
The Sun (R) (S). 5.00 Four
In A Bed (S). 5.30 Come
Dine With Me (R) (S).

10PM

6.15 Walks Of Life (R) (S).
7.15 Antiques Road Trip
(R) (S). 8.00 Sign Zone:
Rick Stein’s Cornwall
(R) (S). 8.30 Sign Zone:
Weatherman Walking: The
Welsh Coast (R) (S). 9.00
BBC News (S). 10.00 BBC
News (S). 12.15 Politics
Live (S). 1.00 Impossible
(R) (S). 1.45 Eggheads (R)
(S). 2.15 Eggheads (R) (S).
2.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best
Of British (R) (S). 3.15 Eat
Well For Less? (R) (S).
4.15 The World’s Most
Extraordinary Homes (R)
(S). 5.15 Flog It! (S).

of the 70s, a slap in the face for
America from a country that
had once been a staunch ally,
and a major factor in President
Jimmy Carter’s landslide loss to
Republican rival Ronald Reagan
in the 1980 Presidential election.
This documentary charts the
dramatic events that saw 52
Americans taken hostage and
held prisoner for 444 days by
militarised students supporting
the Iranian Revolution.

11PM

6.00 Breakfast (S). 9.15
Morning Live (S). 10.00
Crimewatch Live (S).
10.45 Critical Incident
(S). 11.15 Homes Under
The Hammer (R) (S). 12.15
Bargain Hunt (S). 1.00
BBC News; Weather (S).
1.30 BBC Regional News;
Weather (S). 1.45 Doctors
(S). 2.15 Jay And Dom’s
Home Fix (R) (S). 3.00
Escape To The Country (S).
3.45 Antiques Road Trip
(R) (S). 4.30 Bridge Of Lies
(R) (S). 5.15 Pointless (R) (S).

radio

Brian Boyce recalls
the Brink’s-Mat case
9pm, BBC One

Jess struggles to keep
her focus on the job
9pm, ITV1
7.05 FILM: My Super
Ex-Girlfriend
(Ivan Reitman
2006) Superhero
comedy, starring
Uma Thurman
(S).

6.00 Celebrity
Catchphrase
With Dianne
Buswell, Ria
Hebden and Neil
Morrissey (S).
7.00 The Masked
Singer US The
four Group A
singers compete
in the semifinals (S).
8.00 Superstore (S).
8.30 Superstore The
employees are
forced to
address
systemic racism
in the store (S).

9.00 FILM: Deadpool
(Tim Miller 2016)
Superhero
comedy
adventure,
starring Ryan
Reynolds (S).

9.00 Loaded In
Paradise Jamie
and Guy swipe
the Gold Card
and are crowned
as the Spenders
(S).
10.00 Revenge Porn:
Georgia vs Bear
Georgia
Harrison opens
up about being
the victim of
revenge porn (S).

culture

Launderette, Dangerous Liaisons,
Philomena, Grifters, High Fidelity
and The Queen, to name but a
few) and television, Stephen
Frears subscribes to Billy
Wilder’s maxim that, “The best
director is the one you don’t
see.” Nevertheless, Alan Yentob
catches up with Frears in Vienna,
where he is making a movie with
Kate Winslet and Hugh Grant
charting the tortured making
of Wilder’s penultimate film,
Fedora. Grant, with whom Frears
also made A Very English Scandal,
is among an illustrious list of
contributors that speaks for itself:
Helen Mirren, John Malkovich, Judi
Dench, Jack Black, Steve Coogan
and Hanif Kureishi.
Gerard Gilbert

6.00 Classic Emmerdale
(S). 6.35 Classic Emmerdale
(S). 7.00 Classic Coronation
Street (S). 7.35 Classic
Coronation Street (S). 8.05
Man About The House (S).
8.35 Man About The House
(S). 9.05 Where The Heart
Is (S). 10.10 Where The
Heart Is (S). 11.15 Agatha
Christie’s Poirot (S). 12.25
Heartbeat (S). 1.25 Classic
Emmerdale (S). 2.00
Classic Emmerdale (S).
2.35 Classic Coronation
Street (S). 3.05 Classic
Coronation Street (S). 3.40
Agatha Christie’s Poirot (S).
4.50 Downton Abbey (S).

6.55 Heartbeat
Armed robbers
spread mayhem
(S).

FILM CHOICE

Deadpool

9pm, Film4
(Tim Miller, 2016)
Even more aware of its own
ridiculousness than all the other
Marvel superhero films, this
origins story about a compulsively
quipping red leather-clad avenger
gets a long way on the charms of
its star, Ryan Reynolds. In the end,
though, it seems even postmodern
self-awareness is no defence
against CGI superhero genericism.

The First Wives Club

Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton in ‘The
First Wives Club’, 9.35pm, Sky Cinema Comedy

9.35pm, Sky Cinema Comedy
(Hugh Wilson, 1996)
Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn and
Bette Midler star as old college
pals who reunite in middle age
to commiserate and to plot their

6.00 Stargate SG-1 (R)
(S). 7.00 Stargate SG-1
(R) (S). 8.00 DC’s Legends
Of Tomorrow (R) (S). 9.00
Quantum Leap (R) (S).
10.00 Supergirl (R) (S).
11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles
(R) (S). 12.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S). 1.00 Hawaii
Five-0 (R) (S). 2.00 S.W.A.T
(R) (S). 3.00 Quantum Leap
(R) (S). 4.00 DC’s Legends
Of Tomorrow (R) (S). 5.00
Supergirl (R) (S).

6.00 Urban Secrets (R)
(S). 7.00 Urban Secrets
(R) (S). 7.55 The Affair (R)
(S). 9.00 The Affair (R) (S).
10.05 Gomorrah (R) (S).
11.10 Gomorrah (R) (S).
12.15 Game Of Thrones
(R) (S). 1.20 Fortitude (R)
(S). 2.25 Fortitude (R) (S).
3.25 Gomorrah (R) (S). 4.30
Succession (R) (S). 5.40
Succession (R) (S).

6.00 Hollyoaks (S). 6.30
Hollyoaks (S). 7.00
Ramsay’s Hotel Hell (S).
8.00 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
(S). 9.00 The Goldbergs
(S). 10.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 10.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S). 11.00
Modern Family (S). 11.30
Modern Family (S). 12.00
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S).
12.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(S). 1.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 1.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S). 2.00 The
Big Bang Theory (S). 2.30
The Big Bang Theory (S).
3.00 Modern Family (S).
4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(S). 4.30 Brooklyn NineNine (S). 5.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 5.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S).

8.55 Kirstie’s House Of
Craft (S). 9.15 A Place In
The Sun (S). 10.05 A New
Life In The Sun (S). 11.05
Find It, Fix It, Flog It (S).
12.05 Find It, Fix It, Flog It
(S). 1.10 Heir Hunters (S).
2.10 Four In A Bed (S). 2.40
Four In A Bed (S). 3.15 Four
In A Bed (S). 3.50 Four In
A Bed (S). 4.20 Four In A
Bed (S). 4.50 Location,
Location, Location (S). 5.55
Kirstie And Phil’s Love It
Or List It (S).

6.00 The Big Bang
Theory Jim
Parsons stars (S).
6.30 The Big Bang
Theory Comedy,
starring Johnny
Galecki (S).

6.55 Chateau DIY A
couple seek a
chateau that
could also be
run as a donkey
sanctuary (S).

6.00 Stargate SG-1
Cassandra
develops
telekinetic
powers. Starring
Richard Dean
Anderson (R) (S).

6.50 Yellowjackets
Misty prepares
to welcome a
surprise house
guest (R) (S).

7.00 Hollyoaks
Norma’s life
hangs in the
balance (S).
7.30 Married At First
Sight Australia
(S).

7.55 Grand Designs
Kevin McCloud
meets Spanish
architect Jaime
and his wife
Mimi (S).

7.00 Stargate SG-1
Daniel’s friend is
abducted by
slave traders.
Sci-fi drama,
starring Michael
Shanks (R) (S).

7.55 Game Of
Thrones Tyrion
seeks a strange
ally. Fantasy
drama, starring
Peter Dinklage
(R) (S).

8.00 McDonald &
Dodds Detective
drama, starring
Jason Watkins
and Tala
Gouveia (S).

8.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles A
shoot-out
results in the
theft of a rare
cultural artifact
(R) (S).

revenge on the husbands who have
left them for younger women.
Inevitably, 90s Hollywood’s idea of
feminist sisterhood looks different
to today’s, but the film undeniably
struck a chord, and the sharp script
can still turn heads.

Philomena

11.45pm, BBC One
(Stephen Frears, 2013)
Though it has the familiar beats of
an odd-couple comedy, this film
tells a true story. Judi Dench plays
an unworldly but plainspeaking
Irish Catholic woman, and Steve
Coogan the cynical journalist who
helps her search for the son taken
from her 50 years previously in
a convent for unwed mothers.
Laurence Phelan

Radio
listings

9.00 Jonathan Ross’
Myths And
Legends
Jonathan is
joined by
Michael Sheen
(S).

9.00 A Town Called
Malice Crime
thriller, starring
Jack Rowan,
Jason Flemyng,
and Tahirah
Sharif (R).

9.00 The Last Of Us
Joel and Ellie
near the end of
their journey.
Starring Pedro
Pascal Last in
the series (R) (S).

10.00 Blue Murder
Part one of two.
Crime drama,
starring
Caroline
Quentin and Ian
Kelsey (S).

10.05 Gogglebox The
Masked Singer,
Dragons’ Den
and Pam &
Tommy are
appraised (S).

10.00 Return Of The
Black Death:
Secret History
Experts
investigate the
plague of the
14th century (S).

10.10 Funny Woman
The team
reunites to
record a
triumphant last
show. Last in the
series (R).

10.00 Big Little Lies
Renata throws
Amabella a
disco-themed
birthday bash (R)
(S).

11.35 Wycliffe An
amateur flautist
apparently
commits
suicide. Starring
Jack Shepherd
(S).

11.10 Naked
Attraction A
man who is HIV
positive, and a
musician from
Burnley take
part (S).

11.05 24 Hours In A&E
A train driver is
rushed in with
fractured ankles
after falling
from a tree (S).

11.15 Fantasy Football
League Last in
the series (R).
11.50 A League Of
Their Own Road
Trip: Southeast
Asia (R).

11.05 Lovecraft
Country The
team travel to
1921 Tulsa (R) (S).

12.45 Where The Heart
Is (S). 1.45 Man About
The House (S). 2.20
Unwind With ITV (S). 2.30
Teleshopping

12.15 First Dates (S).
1.20 Married At First
Sight Australia (S). 2.50
Celebrity SAS: Who
Dares Wins USA (S). 3.40
Ramsay’s Hotel Hell (S).
4.30 The Big Bang Theory
(S). 4.50 The Goldbergs (S).

12.10 Jonathan Ross’
Myths And Legends (S).
1.15 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does
Countdown (S). 2.20 24
Hours In A&E (S). 3.25
Food Unwrapped (S). 3.50
Close

12.55 NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
(S). 2.00 Air Ambulance ER
(R) (S). 3.00 Hawaii Five-0
(R) (S). 4.00 S.W.A.T (R) (S).
5.00 Highway Patrol (R) (S).
5.30 Highway Patrol (R) (S).

12.10 Lovecraft Country
(R) (S). 1.20 Billions (R) (S).
2.30 Game Of Thrones (R)
(S). 3.35 In Treatment (R)
(S). 4.05 Urban Secrets (R)
(S). 5.00 Urban Secrets
(R) (S).

On Demand
Sky High: The Series Netflix
A gangster’s widow goes it
alone in this Spanish thriller
series spun off from a movie
of the same name.
Nazanin All4
Documentary about
Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe,
the British-Iranian charity
worker accused of spying.
Ted Lasso Apple TV+
Jason Sudeikis returns in the
Emmy-laden culture-clash
football comedy.

6.57am Newsbeat 7.00 Radio 1 Breakfast With
Greg James 10.30 Newsbeat 10.32 Rickie,
Melvin And Charlie 12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00
Dean And Vicky 3.30 Newsbeat 3.32 Going
Home With Vick And Jordan 5.45 Newsbeat
6.00 Radio 1’s Future Sounds With Clara
Amfo 7.00 Radio 1’s Hottest Records Of The
Week 8.00 Radio 1’s Future Artists With Jack
Saunders 10.00 Radio 1’s Power Down Playlist
With Sian Eleri 11.00 Rock Show With Daniel
P Carter 1am BBC Introducing Rock On Radio
1 With Alyx Holcombe 2.00 Radio 1’s Future
Alternative 3.00 Radio 1’s Workout Anthems

Round The Horne 1.30 Legal, Decent, Honest
And Truthful 2.00 All The Way From Memphis
2.30 Ring Around The Bath 3.00 Rosencrantz
And Guildenstern Are Dead 4.00 The Toff And
The Runaway Bride 4.30 Lord Of Misrule 5.00
Sweet Sorrow 5.15 A Woman On The Edge Of
Time 5.30 Lobby Land 6.00 Round The Horne
6.30 Legal, Decent, Honest And Truthful 7.00
All The Way From Memphis 7.30 Ring Around
The Bath 8.00 The Moth Radio Hour 8.50
Inheritance Tracks 9.00 Mastertapes 9.30
Lennox 10.00 Comedy Club: The Museum
Of Curiosity 10.30 Comedy Club: IGod 10.45
Comedy Club: Hamish And Dougal: You’ll Have
Had Your Tea 11.00 Comedy Club: The Now
Show 11.30 Comedy Club: Masala FM 12mdn’t
Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead 1.00
The Toff And The Runaway Bride 1.30 Lord Of
Misrule 2.00 Sweet Sorrow 2.15 A Woman On
The Edge Of Time 2.30 Lobby Land 3.00 Round
The Horne 3.30 Legal, Decent, Honest And
Truthful 4.00 All The Way From Memphis

BBC Radio 1Xtra

BBC 5 Live

BBC Radio 1

6am Battle Of The Mixes 6.30 Battle Of The
Mixes 7.00 Nadia Jae 10.00 1Xtra’s Pull Up Mix
10.15 Ace 12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00 Remi Burgz
3.45 1Xtra’s Pull Up Mix 4.00 Reece Parkinson
5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Reece Parkinson 7.00 DJ
Target 9.00 Sian Anderson 11.00 Snoochie Shy
1am Seani B 3.00 Amapiano To AfroHouse 4.00
1Xtra @ 20 – 20 Years Of Homegrown

BBC Radio 2

6.30am The Zoe Ball Breakfast Show 9.30 Gary
Davies 12noon Jeremy Vine 2.00 Scott Mills
4.00 Sara Cox 6.30 Sara Cox’s Half Wower 7.00
Jo Whiley’s Shiny Happy Playlist 7.30 Jo Whiley
9.00 The Blues Show With Cerys Matthews
10.00 Trevor Nelson’s Magnificent 7 10.30
Trevor Nelson’s Rhythm Nation 12mdn’t OJ
Borg 2.30 One Hit Wonders With OJ Borg

BBC Radio 3

6.30am Breakfast 9.00 Essential Classics
12noon Composer Of The Week: Bizet 1.00
Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert 2.00 Afternoon
Concert 4.30 New Generation Artists 5.00 In
Tune 7.00 Classical Mixtape 7.30 Radio 3 In
Concert 9.30 Compline 10.00 Music Matters
10.45 The Essay: Thinking Black 11.00 Night
Tracks 12.30am Through The Night

BBC Radio 4

9.00 Celebrity SAS:
Who Dares Wins
USA The
remaining
recruits go
behind enemy
lines (S).

59

6am Today 9.00 Start The Week 9.45 Breaking
Mississippi 10.00 Woman’s Hour 11.00 How
Ukraine Made Us Care 11.30 Lady Killers
With Lucy Worsley 12noon News 12.04 You
And Yours 12.57 Weather 1.00 The World At
One 1.45 Shock And War: Iraq 20 Years On
2.00 The Archers 2.15 Drama: 7 Ghosts 3.00
Counterpoint 3.30 The Food Programme 4.00
Talking Of Michelangelo – The Poet 4.30 The
Digital Human 5.00 PM 5.57 Weather 6.00 Six
O’Clock News 6.30 The Museum Of Curiosity
7.00 The Archers 7.15 Front Row 8.00 The
Great Inflation 8.30 Analysis 9.00 Troubled
Water 9.30 Start The Week 10.00 The World
Tonight 10.45 Book At Bedtime: Old God’s Time
11.00 I Feel Therefore I Am 11.30 Today In
Parliament 12mdn’t News And Weather
12.30 Breaking Mississippi 12.48 Shipping
Forecast 1.00 As BBC World Service 5.20
Shipping Forecast 5.30 News Briefing

BBC Radio 4 LW

9.45am Daily Service 12.01pm Shipping
Forecast 5.54 Shipping Forecast

BBC Radio 4 Extra

6am The Toff And The Runaway Bride 6.30
Lord Of Misrule 7.00 Sweet Sorrow 7.15 A
Woman On The Edge Of Time 7.30 Lobby Land
8.00 Round The Horne 8.30 Legal, Decent,
Honest And Truthful 9.00 All The Way From
Memphis 9.30 Ring Around The Bath 10.00
Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead 11.00
The Toff And The Runaway Bride 11.30 Lord Of
Misrule 12noon Sweet Sorrow 12.15 A Woman
On The Edge Of Time 12.30 Lobby Land 1.00

6am 5 Live Breakfast 9.00 Nicky Campbell
11.00 Naga Munchetty 1pm Nihal Arthanayake
4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport 9.30 Match
Of The Day: Top 10 10.00 Colin Murray 1am
Dotun Adebayo 5.00 Wake Up To Money

BBC 6 Music

7.30am Lauren Laverne 10.30 Mary Anne
Hobbs 1pm Craig Charles 4.00 Steve Lamacq
7.00 Marc Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe 12mdn’t In
Their Own Words: Depeche Mode 1.00 6 Music
Festival 2.00 Depeche Mode Live 4.00 The
Depeche Mode Playlist 5.00 Chris Hawkins

Classic FM

6am More Music Breakfast 9.00 Alexander
Armstrong 12noon Anne-Marie Minhall 4.00
John Brunning 7.00 Smooth Classics At Seven
10.00 Smooth Classics 1am Bill Overton

Absolute Radio

6am Dave Berry 10.00 Leona Graham 1pm Ben
Burrell 4.00 Bush And Richie 7.00 Danielle
Perry 10.00 Jay Lawrence 1am Dan Noble

Heart

6.30am Heart Breakfast With Jamie Theakston
And Amanda Holden 10.00 Pandora Christie
1pm Matt Wilkinson 4.00 JK And Kelly Brook
7.00 Heart’s Feel Good Weekend With Dev
Griffin 10.00 Fia Tarrant 1am Simon Beale
4.00 Early Breakfast With Lindsey Russell

TalkSPORT

6am TalkSPORT Breakfast With Laura Woods
10.00 Sam Matterface & Alex Crook With
Martin Keown 1pm Hawksbee And Jacobs 4.00
TalkSPORT Drive With Andy Goldstein 7.00
Kick Off 10.00 Sports Bar 1am Extra Time

RADIO PICK
Lady Killers with
Lucy Worsley

11.30am, BBC Radio 4
The unfailingly
engaging historian
(left) investigates
the ordinary life
and extraordinary
crimes of a
respectable Victorian spinster
who became a mass poisoner
after being thwarted in love. Lucy
is joined by Dr Gwen Adshead
and Professor Rosalind Crone
to analyse her case.

60

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Tuesday television
CRITIC’S CHOICE

Adrian Dunbar and Neil Morrissey trace their
family histories in ‘DNA Journey’, 9pm, ITV1

Interior Design Masters
with Alan Carr

Anton & Giovanni’s
Adventures in Sicily

The Holy Land and Us:
Our Untold Stories

9pm, BBC One
There must be a factory
somewhere mass-producing
these TV travelogues in which
celebrities are paired off and sent
to sunny climes. This time it’s the
turn of Strictly Come Dancing’s
Anton Du Beke and Giovanni
Pernice, who get to explore the
latter’s birthplace of Sicily – the
island having quite the moment
after The White Lotus and Amanda
& Alan’s Italian Job. Their tourism
sector must be thrilled, although
this series feels rather laboured, as
Anton practises his rubbish Italian

7.00 Your Home
Made Perfect (R)
(S).

7.30 Emmerdale Alex
shows his true
colours (S).

7.00 Channel 4 News
(S).
7.55 The Political
Slot Political
comment from
the Labour Party
(S).

7.00 GPs: Behind
Closed Doors (S).
7.55 5 News Update
(S).

7.00 Great British
Railway
Journeys (S).
7.30 The Flying
Archaeologist
(S).

8.00 Interior Design
Masters With
Alan Carr (S).

8.00 Great British
Menu The chefs
from the Central
England region
serve up starters
and fish dishes
(S).

8.00 The Martin
Lewis Money
Show: Live The
cash expert
presents live
from Liverpool
(S).

8.00 24 Hours In A&E
Some of the
most
memorable
stories from St
George’s
Hospital (S).

8.00 Dogs Behaving
(Very) Badly (S).

8.00 As Time Goes By
(S).
8.30 The Mistress
Luke plans to
spend a Sunday
with Maxine.
From 1987 (S).

9.00 Anton &
Giovanni’s
Adventures In
Sicily New
series (S).

9.00 The Holy Land
And Us: Our
Untold Stories
Two women tell
Rob Rinder and
Sarah Agha their
stories (S).

9.00 DNA Journey
Actors Neil
Morrissey and
Adrian Dunbar
explore their
family histories
(S).

9.00 24 Hours In
Police Custody:
The Honeytrap
Murder (S).

9.00 Ben Fogle: New
Lives In The
Wild Ben heads
back to Western
Australia to
revisit 69-yearold Barbara (S).

9.00 A History Of
Britain By
Simon Schama
The expansion
of imperialism
(S).

10.00 BBC News At
Ten (S).
10.30 BBC Regional
News (S).
10.40 FILM: Official
Secrets (Gavin
Hood 2019) (S).

10.15 QI XS (S).
10.30 Newsnight (S).

10.10 ITV News;
Weather (S).
10.45 ITV Regional
News; Weather
(S).
10.55 Starstruck (R)
(S).

10.00 Rise And Fall
The grafters take
on their next
Work Shift
challenge (S).

10.00 The Night
Stalker: Terror
In A Small Town
(S).

10.00 The Killer Wave
Of 1607:
Timewatch (S).
10.50 Climbing Blind
(S).

6PM

6.00 Cash In The Attic
(S).
6.30 Eggheads The
Clubturns take
part (S).
6.55 5 News Update
(S).

7PM

6.00 The Simpsons
Homer and Bart
go rafting (R) (S).
6.30 Hollyoaks
Norma’s life
hangs in the
balance (R) (S).

6.00 Richard Osman’s
House Of Games
(R) (S).
6.30 Coast To Coast
Food Festival (S).

7.00 The One Show
Live chat and
topical reports
(S).
7.30 EastEnders (S).

DAYTIME

and the pair race between historic
ruins on tuk-tuk-like vehicles.

6.00 ITV Regional
News; Weather
(S).
6.30 ITV News;
Weather (S).

6.00 BBC News At
Six; Weather (S).
6.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather
(S).

8PM

that he is actually more Irish than
his travelling companion.

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15
Jeremy Vine (S). 1.45
Home And Away (R) (S).
2.15 Chronicle Mysteries
(R) (S). 4.00 BargainLoving Brits In The Sun (R)
(S). 5.00 5 News At 5 (S).

6.00 Good Morning
Britain (S). 9.00 Lorraine
(S). 10.00 This Morning (S).
12.30 Loose Women (S).
1.30 ITV News; Weather
(S). 1.55 ITV Regional
News; Weather (S). 2.00
Dickinson’s Real Deal (S).
3.00 Lingo (R) (S). 3.59 ITV
Regional Weather (S). 4.00
Tipping Point (R) (S). 5.00
The Chase (R) (S).

9PM

9pm, ITV1
Pairing up famous ancestor
hunters makes for livelier
television than Who Do You
Think You Are?, allowing for
some rather amusing (and often
revealing) banter. This week, Line
of Duty co-stars Neil Morrissey
and Adrian Dunbar are packed
off to Ireland. Morrissey was
placed in care at the age of 10
and knows next to nothing about
his family history, while the
Northern Irish Dunbar’s journey
actually begins in England – and
a Norfolk forebear suspected
of running an illegal gambling
racket. Morrissey is delighted to
find some hellraisers in his family
tree and to learn from a DNA test

6.10 Countdown (R) (S).
6.50 3rd Rock From The
Sun (R) (S). 7.15 3rd Rock
From The Sun (R) (S). 7.40
The King Of Queens (R) (S).
8.05 The King Of Queens
(R) (S). 8.30 The King Of
Queens (R) (S). 9.00 Frasier
(R) (S). 9.30 Frasier (R) (S).
10.00 Frasier (R) (S). 10.30
Undercover Boss USA
(R) (S). 11.25 Channel 4
News Summary (S). 11.30
Emergency Helicopter
Medics (S). 12.30 Steph’s
Packed Lunch (S). 2.10
Countdown (S). 3.00 Tool
Club (S). 4.00 A New Life In
The Sun (R) (S). 5.00 Four
In A Bed (S). 5.30 Come
Dine With Me (R) (S).

6.15 Walks Of Life (R) (S).
7.15 Antiques Road Trip (R)
(S). 8.00 Sign Zone: Secrets
Of The Jurassic Dinosaurs
(R) (S). 9.00 BBC News (S).
10.00 BBC News (S). 12.15
Politics Live (S). 1.00 The
Super League Show (R) (S).
1.45 Eggheads (R) (S). 2.15
Eggheads (R) (S). 2.45 Hairy
Bikers’ Best Of British (R)
(S). 3.15 Eat Well For Less?
(R) (S). 4.15 The World’s
Most Extraordinary
Homes (R) (S). 5.15 Flog
It! (R) (S).

11.15 Murder In The
Pacific The
bomber reveals
how he planted
explosives on
the Rainbow
Warrior (R) (S).

11PM

10PM

DNA Journey

8pm, BBC One
The remaining eight contestants
go solo this week as they are sent
to a luxury golf and spa resort
in Scotland. Four of them get to
redecorate rooms for spa visitors,
while golfers are to be treated to a
“maximalist Scottish experience”.
Firm-but-fair judge Michelle
Ogundehin explains to Alan Carr
that by ‘Scottish maximalist” she
is not looking for antlers, tartan
and Braveheart – more “a fullbodied red wine as opposed to
a rosé”. Helping her this week is
guest judge interior designer
Matthew Williamson, who will
be helping to adjudicate on the
resulting transformations.

6.00 Breakfast (S). 9.15
Morning Live (S). 10.00
Crimewatch Live (S).
10.45 Critical Incident (S).
11.15 Homes Under The
Hammer (S). 12.15 Bargain
Hunt (R) (S). 1.00 BBC
News At One; Weather (S).
1.30 BBC Regional News;
Weather (S). 1.45 Doctors
(S). 2.15 Jay And Dom’s
Home Fix (R) (S). 3.00
Escape To The Country (S).
3.45 Antiques Road Trip
(R) (S). 4.30 Bridge Of Lies
(R) (S). 5.15 Pointless (R) (S).

12.25 The Apprentice (R)
(S). 1.30 BBC News (S).

LATE

radio

12.15 Dave (R) (S). 12.45
Dave (R) (S). 1.20 Sign
Zone: Great Australian
Railway Journeys (R) (S).
1.50 Sign Zone: Rip Off
Britain: Holidays (R) (S).
2.35 Sign Zone: Make It At
Market (R) (S).

Alan Carr’s ‘Design
Masters’ go golfing
8pm, BBC One

11.05 UEFA European
Qualifiers
Preview (S).
11.40 Gogglebox (R) (S).

12.00 Shop: Ideal World
3.00 The Bay (R) (S). 3.50
Unwind With ITV (S). 5.05
Dickinson’s Real Deal
(R) (S).

12.40 Untold: Gay Under
The Taliban (S). 1.35 999:
On The Front Line (R)
(S). 2.30 The Last Leg (R)
(S). 3.25 Extraordinary
Escapes With Sandi
Toksvig (R) (S).

9pm, BBC Two
There is barely suppressed anger
in the Palestinian contributors
to this enlightening series as
they reflect on the events of
1948 – known to Palestinians as
the Nakba, or the Catastrophe.
In this week’s very moving
episode, the Irish-Palestinian
comedian Joanna Carolan makes
her first trip to what were once
her family’s orange groves in
Jaffa near Tel Aviv – linking up
with two elderly uncles who
recall fleeing to Jordan in 1948.
Rob Rinder, meanwhile, meets

12.05 Born To Kill: Patrick
Mackay (R) (S). 12.55 Killer
At The Crime Scene (R) (S).
1.50 Entertainment News
On 5 (S). 2.00 The LeoVegas
Live Casino Show (S). 4.00
Parking Hell (R) (S). 5.15
Wildlife SOS (R) (S).

Giovanni Pernice and
his ‘Strictly’ mate
Anton Du Beke explore
the island of Sicily
9pm, BBC One

Rob Rinder concludes
his look at Israel
9pm, BBC Two
7.15 FILM: Bride
Wars (Gary
Winick 2009)
Comedy, with
Kate Hudson
and Anne
Hathaway (S).

6.00 World’s Funniest
Videos (S). 6.35 Totally
Bonkers Guinness World
Records (S). 7.00 Love
Bites (S). 8.00 Dress To
Impress (S). 9.00 Chuck
(S). 10.00 One Tree Hill
(S). 11.00 The O.C (S).
12.00 Love Bites (S). 1.00
Dress To Impress (S). 2.00
Supermarket Sweep (S).
3.05 Chuck (S). 4.00 One
Tree Hill (S). 5.00 The
O.C (S).

6.00 Celebrity
Catchphrase
With Sarah
Millican, Vernon
Kay and Joel
Dommett (S).
7.00 The Masked
Singer US The
four Group B
singers compete
in the semifinals (S).
8.00 Superstore
Glenn returns
from quarantine
to resume store
manager duties
(S).
8.30 Superstore (S).

9.00 FILM: Glass (M
Night
Shyamalan
2019) Thriller,
starring James
McAvoy (S).

9.00 Loaded In
Paradise (S).

10.00 Family Guy Meg
takes advantage
of Peter’s
temporary job
as principal of
her school (S).
10.30 Family Guy (S).

11.50 How To Make:
The Trainer
Designer Zoe
Laughlin makes
her own training
shoe (S).

11.35 FILM: Hitman
(Xavier Gens
2007) Action
thriller, starring
Timothy
Olyphant (S).

11.00 Family Guy
Peter gets
locked in a
library (S).
11.30 American Dad!
(S).

12.50 Great British
Railway Journeys (S). 1.20
The Flying Archaeologist
(S). 1.50 The Killer Wave
Of 1607: Timewatch (S).
2.40 A History Of Britain
By Simon Schama (S). 3.40
Close

1.25 FILM: Goat (Andrew
Neel 2016) Fact-based
drama, starring Ben
Schnetzer (S). 3.35 Close

12.00 American Dad!
(S). 12.30 Superstore
(S). 1.00 Superstore (S).
1.30 Hey Tracey! (S). 2.15
Totally Bonkers Guinness
World Records (S). 2.40
Unwind With ITV (S). 3.00
Teleshopping

culture

a Jewish woman born in Egypt
who wants to learn more about
her beloved aunts’ move to the
fledgling state of Israel.

FILM CHOICE

Jerk

10pm, BBC Three
Comedian Tim Renkow
continues to ride roughshod over
contemporary pieties as Tim is
invited to join a parliamentary
select committee on disability.
Meanwhile, his mate Idris (Rob J
Madin) begins to regret sinking
his life savings in to the AfricanCaribbean bookshop – especially
after his mother suggests stocking
Jeremy Clarkson’s books. You
have been warned. The cast also
features Sharon Rooney.
Gerard Gilbert

6.00 Classic Emmerdale
(S). 6.35 Classic Emmerdale
(S). 7.00 Classic Coronation
Street (S). 7.35 Classic
Coronation Street (S). 8.05
Man About The House
(S). 8.40 Man About The
House (S). 9.10 Where The
Heart Is (S). 10.15 Where
The Heart Is (S). 11.15
Agatha Christie’s Poirot
(S). 12.25 Heartbeat (S).
1.25 Classic Emmerdale
(S). 2.30 Classic Coronation
Street (S). 3.00 Classic
Coronation Street (S). 3.30
Midsomer Murders (S).
5.30 Downton Abbey (S).

7.00 Heartbeat A
family of
crooked
travellers
pitches camp in
Aidensfield (S).

Straight Outta Compton

8pm, Sky Cinema Drama
(F Gary Gray, 2015)
Rappers NWA variously
fascinated, thrilled, terrified and
appalled the world with their
tales of street-level life in the
ghettos of LA in the late 80s and
early 90s. This is the authorised
and sanitised version of their
story – which means it arguably
misunderstands what is most
interesting about the group’s lives.

If

Keira Knightley stars as a whistleblower in spy
thriller ‘Official Secrets’, 10.40pm, BBC One

10.25pm, Sky Cinema Greats
(Lindsay Anderson, 1968)
A classic of the British new wave,
in which young rebel Malcolm
McDowell, making his film debut,
leads an uprising against the

6.00 Stargate SG-1 (R)
(S). 7.00 Stargate SG-1
(R) (S). 8.00 DC’s Legends
Of Tomorrow (R) (S). 9.00
Quantum Leap (R) (S).
10.00 Supergirl (R) (S).
11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles
(R) (S). 12.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S). 1.00 Hawaii
Five-0 (R) (S). 2.00 S.W.A.T
(R) (S). 3.00 Quantum Leap
(R) (S). 4.00 DC’s Legends
Of Tomorrow (R) (S). 5.00
Supergirl (R) (S).

6.00 Hollyoaks (S). 7.00
Ramsay’s Hotel Hell (S).
8.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S). 9.00
Married At First Sight
Australia (S). 10.30 The
Big Bang Theory (S). 11.00
Modern Family (S). 11.30
Modern Family (S). 12.00
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S).
12.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(S). 1.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 1.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S). 2.00 The
Big Bang Theory (S). 2.30
The Big Bang Theory (S).
3.00 Modern Family (S).
3.30 Modern Family (S).
4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(S). 4.30 Brooklyn NineNine (S). 5.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 5.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S).

8.55 Kirstie’s House Of
Craft (S). 9.15 A Place In
The Sun (S). 10.05 A New
Life In The Sun (S). 11.05
Find It, Fix It, Flog It (S).
12.05 Find It, Fix It, Flog It
(S). 1.10 Heir Hunters (S).
2.10 Four In A Bed (S). 2.40
Four In A Bed (S). 3.15 Four
In A Bed (S). 3.50 Four In
A Bed (S). 4.20 Four In A
Bed (S). 4.50 Location,
Location, Location (S). 5.55
Kirstie And Phil’s Love It
Or List It (S).

6.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S).
6.30 The Big Bang
Theory The boys
are challenged
to a robot duel
(S).

6.55 Escape To The
Chateau: DIY It is
crunch time for
Jonathan and
Michael as they
face their
investors (R) (S).

6.00 Stargate SG-1
The team
searches for
missing soldiers
(R) (S).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S).
7.30 Married At First
Sight Australia
(S).

7.55 Grand Designs A
couple decide to
build a house
heavily inspired
by American
modernist
properties (S).

7.00 Stargate SG-1
The Tollans
share their
technology (R)
(S).

6.00 Urban Secrets (R)
(S). 7.00 Urban Secrets
(R) (S). 7.55 The Affair (R)
(S). 9.00 The Affair (R) (S).
10.05 Gomorrah (R) (S).
11.10 Gomorrah (R) (S).
12.15 Game Of Thrones
(R) (S). 1.20 Fortitude (R)
(S). 2.25 Fortitude (R) (S).
3.30 Gomorrah (R) (S). 4.35
Succession (R) (S). 5.40
Succession (R) (S).

ruling classes as represented by
the staff of his all-boys public
school. The film itself rejects the
established order, being an unruly
work that abandons narrative
order in favour of surrealism.

Official Secrets

10.40pm, BBC One
(Gavin Hood, 2019)
Keira Knightley stars as GCHQ
whistleblower Katharine Gun in
this real-life spy movie, a work
whose cool tone and careful
accretion of convincing detail make
it one of the best dramatisations of
the behind-the-scenes wrangling
in the intelligence and legal
communities at the time of the
2003 invasion of Iraq.
Laurence Phelan

Radio
listings
BBC Radio 1

6.57am Newsbeat 7.00 Radio 1 Breakfast With
Greg James 10.30 Newsbeat 10.32 Rickie,
Melvin And Charlie 12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00
Dean And Vicky 3.30 Newsbeat 3.32 Going
Home With Jordan 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Radio
1’s Future Sounds With Clara Amfo 8.00 Radio
1’s Future Artists With Jack Saunders 10.00
Radio 1’s Power Down Playlist With Sian Eleri
11.00 Annie Nightingale Presents 1am Radio
1’s Drum & Bass Mix-DNB60 2.00 Radio 1
Relax 3.00 Radio 1’s Dance Anthems

BBC Radio 1Xtra

8.00 Midsomer
Murders A
horse trainer is
murdered (S).

6.50 Yellowjackets
Taissa leads a
last-ditch effort
and/or suicide
mission (R) (S).

7.55 Game Of
Thrones Jaime
faces off with
the High
Sparrow (R) (S).

6am Battle Of The Mixes 7.00 Nadia Jae
10.00 1Xtra’s Pull Up Mix 10.15 Ace 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Remi Burgz 3.45 1Xtra’s Pull Up
Mix 4.00 Reece Parkinson 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00
Reece Parkinson 7.00 DJ Target 9.00 1Xtra’s
Alternative Selection With CassKidd 11.00
Snoochie Shy 1am The Story Of Soul-Part 3
3.00 Battle Of The Mixes 4.00 1Xtra’s Influence
With Koffee 5.00 1Xtra’s Cosmic Wind Down
With Jamz Supernova

BBC Radio 2

6.30am The Zoe Ball Breakfast Show 9.30 Gary
Davies 12noon Jeremy Vine 2.00 Scott Mills
4.00 Sara Cox 6.30 Sara Cox’s Half Wower 7.00
Jo Whiley’s Shiny Happy Playlist 7.30 Jo Whiley
9.00 The Jazz Show With Jamie Cullum 10.00
Trevor Nelson’s Magnificent 7 10.30 Trevor
Nelson’s Rhythm Nation 12mdn’t OJ Borg 3.00
Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s Kitchen Disco

BBC Radio 3

6.30am Breakfast 9.00 Essential Classics
12noon Composer Of The Week: Bizet 1.00
Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert 2.00 Afternoon
Concert 5.00 In Tune 7.00 Classical Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 In Concert 10.00 Free Thinking
10.45 The Essay: Thinking Black 11.00 Night
Tracks 12.30am Through The Night

8.00 The Flash New
series. Barry and
Iris keep reliving
the same day (S).

BBC Radio 4
9.00 Fred’s Last
Resort (S).

9.00 Home Greek
Home Sarah
recruits her
sons to help
with the build
(S).

9.00 Peacemaker (R)
(S).

9.00 The Gilded Age
In the aftermath
of a tragedy,
George agrees
to help Bertha
(R) (S).

10.00 Blue Murder
Conclusion of
the crime drama,
starring
Caroline
Quentin (S).

10.00 Celebrity SAS:
Who Dares Wins
USA Last in the
series (S).

10.00 24 Hours In A&E
A five-year-old
is rushed to
A&E after being
hit by a car (S).

10.00 Freddie Down
Under Freddie
and Rob prepare
to swim with
sharks (R) (S).

10.05 The Plot Against
America Drama,
starring Winona
Ryder (R) (S).

11.35 Wycliffe An
ancient Cornish
custom ends in
murder (S).

11.00 First Dates
Essex DJ Terry
’Turbo’ is back (S).

11.05 999: On The
Front Line A
diabetic woman
is trapped in a
three-car
pile-up on the
M6 (R) (S).

11.00 A League Of
Their Own Road
Trip: Southeast
Asia Previously
unseen footage
from the show
(R).

11.10 The Plot Against
America (R) (S).

12.10 Home Greek Home
(S). 1.15 8 Out Of 10 Cats
Does Countdown (S). 2.20
24 Hours In A&E (S). 3.25
Food Unwrapped (S). 3.50
Close

12.00 S.W.A.T (R) (S). 1.00
Fantasy Football League
(R). 1.35 Road Wars (R).
2.00 Air Ambulance ER
(R) (S). 3.00 Hawaii Five-0
(R) (S). 4.00 S.W.A.T (R) (S).
5.00 Highway Patrol (R) (S).
5.30 Highway Patrol (R) (S).

12.20 The Wire (R) (S). 1.30
In Treatment (R) (S). 2.00
Django 3.05 Django 4.10
Urban Secrets (R) (S). 5.05
Urban Secrets (R) (S).

12.45 Where The Heart
Is (S). 1.45 Man About
The House (S). 2.20
Unwind With ITV (S). 2.30
Teleshopping

12.05 Naked Attraction
(S). 1.10 Married At First
Sight Australia (S). 2.30
Fred’s Last Resort (S). 3.35
Celebrity SAS: Who Dares
Wins USA (S). 4.15 The Big
Bang Theory (S). 4.40 The
Goldbergs (S).

61

On Demand
Nope Prime Video
A Californian rancher is
menaced from above in
Jordan Peele’s celestial
horror movie.
Paula All 4
Docuseries about the
ill-fated TV presenter
Paula Yates.
Deadline Acorn TV
A woman hires a journalist
to clear her of murder
in this cliffhanger-laced
thriller series.

The Geneva Mystery 11.30 Lord Of Misrule
12noon Sweet Sorrow 12.15 A Woman On The
Edge Of Time 12.30 Ed Reardon’s Week 1.00
The Goon Show 1.30 For Better Or For Worse
2.00 Who Goes There? 2.30 No Commitments
3.00 Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead
4.00 Paul Temple And The Geneva Mystery
4.30 Lord Of Misrule 5.00 Sweet Sorrow
5.15 A Woman On The Edge Of Time 5.30 Ed
Reardon’s Week 6.00 The Goon Show 6.30 For
Better Or For Worse 7.00 Who Goes There?
7.30 No Commitments 8.00 TED Radio Hour
8.50 Inheritance Tracks 9.00 Mastertapes 9.30
Lennox 10.00 Comedy Club: Mark Watson
Talks A Bit About Life 10.30 Comedy Club:
Innes Own World 10.55 Comedy Club: The
Comedy Club Interview 11.00 Comedy Club:
The Damien Slash Mixtape 11.15 Comedy
Club: Political Animals 11.30 Comedy Club:
Old Harry’s Game 12mdn’t Rosencrantz And
Guildenstern Are Dead 1.00 Paul Temple And
The Geneva Mystery 1.30 Lord Of Misrule 2.00
Sweet Sorrow 2.15 A Woman On The Edge Of
Time 2.30 Ed Reardon’s Week 3.00 The Goon
Show 3.30 For Better Or For Worse

BBC 5 Live

6am 5 Live Breakfast 9.00 Nicky Campbell
11.00 Naga Munchetty 1pm Nihal Arthanayake
4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport 8.00 5 Live
Sport 9.00 5 Live Sport 10.00 Colin Murray
1am Dotun Adebayo 5.00 Wake Up To Money

BBC 6 Music

7.30am Lauren Laverne 10.30 Mary Anne
Hobbs 1pm Craig Charles 4.00 Steve Lamacq
7.00 Marc Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe 12mdn’t 6
Music Artist In Residence 1.00 Depeche Mode
At The BBC 2.00 The Man Machine: Kraftwerk,
Krautrock And The German Electronic
Revolution 3.00 6 Music’s Indie Forever

Classic FM

6am More Music Breakfast 9.00 Alexander
Armstrong 12noon Anne-Marie Minhall 4.00
John Brunning 7.00 Smooth Classics At Seven
10.00 Smooth Classics 1am Bill Overton

Absolute Radio

6am Dave Berry 10.00 Leona Graham 1pm Ben
Burrell 4.00 Bush And Richie 7.00 Danielle
Perry 10.00 Jay Lawrence 1am Dan Noble

6am Today 9.00 The Life Scientific 9.30 One To
One. Presenter Angellica Bell talks to therapist
Alice Bearn about the different ways of starting
new chapters in life. Last in the series. 9.45
Breaking Mississippi 10.00 Woman’s Hour.
Nuala McGovern presents the magazine show.
11.00 The Spark 11.30 Rethinking Music
12noon News 12.04 Call You And Yours 12.57
Weather 1.00 The World At One 1.45 Shock
And War: Iraq 20 Years On 2.00 The Archers
2.15 Drama: Deacon: A Reckoning 3.00 Short
Cuts 3.30 Costing The Earth 4.00 Law In Action
4.30 A Good Read 5.00 PM 5.57 Weather 6.00
Six O’Clock News 6.30 Mark Watson Talks A
Bit About Life 7.00 The Archers 7.15 Front
Row 8.00 File On 4 8.40 In Touch 9.00 Inside
Health 9.30 The Life Scientific 10.00 The World
Tonight 10.45 Book At Bedtime: Old God’s Time
11.00 Please Use Other Door 11.30 Today In
Parliament 12mdn’t News And Weather 12.30
Breaking Mississippi 12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service 5.20 Shipping
Forecast 5.30 News Briefing

Heart

BBC Radio 4 LW

Gritty contemporary
supernatural drama
by Edson Burton.
Enigmatic drifter
Deacon is back to
help a troubled soul.
James has lost his wife,
Mavis, and he, too, seems lost.
Deacon tries his best to help.
Starring Don Warrington (above).

8.31am Yesterday In Parliament 9.45 Daily
Service 12.01pm Shipping Forecast 5.54
Shipping Forecast

BBC Radio 4 Extra

6am Paul Temple And The Geneva Mystery
6.30 Lord Of Misrule 7.00 Sweet Sorrow
7.15 A Woman On The Edge Of Time 7.30 Ed
Reardon’s Week 8.00 The Goon Show 8.30 For
Better Or For Worse 9.00 Who Goes There?
9.30 No Commitments 10.00 Rosencrantz And
Guildenstern Are Dead 11.00 Paul Temple And

6.30am Heart Breakfast With Jamie Theakston
And Amanda Holden 10.00 Pandora Christie
1pm Matt Wilkinson 4.00 JK And Kelly Brook
7.00 Heart’s Feel Good Weekend With Dev
Griffin 10.00 Fia Tarrant 1am Simon Beale
4.00 Early Breakfast With Lindsey Russell

TalkSPORT

6am TalkSPORT Breakfast With Laura Woods
10.00 Jim White And Simon Jordan 1pm
Hawksbee And Baker 4.00 TalkSPORT Drive
With Andy Goldstein 7.00 Kick Off 10.00
Sports Bar 1am Extra Time

RADIO PICK
Drama: Deacon:
A Reckoning

2.15pm, BBC Radio 4

62

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Wednesday television
CRITIC’S CHOICE

Secret Life of the Forest

8pm, Channel 5
David Attenborough is hanging
out in Britain’s woodlands in
this week’s episode of Wild Isles
(see Sunday’s TV choices), just as
this arboreal-minded docuseries
concludes with autumn in Dalby
and Cropton Forests. Over at the
beaver pond, ecologist Cath is
keeping a close eye on the family,
as the older siblings begin to show
signs of causing conflict in the
wider group.

Race Across the World

why surely you would fly (and
first-class too). Except that’s not
allowed – neither are smartphones
nor bank cards – as this resourcetesting competition returns, this
time rightly promoted to BBC One.
Five pairs of “ordinary Britons”
begin their odyssey in Vancouver,
British Columbia, their first leg
offering the choice between taking
the ferry or going inland. The
majority opt for the ferry, little
realising the paucity of sailing
times, while one couple’s decision
to hire a taxi proves costly.

The Bay

Tyrant: The Rise of
Adolf Hitler

9pm, Channel 5
This curiously titled history
series (Adolf Hitler had well and
truly risen by the time of the
events recalled here) now focuses
on the period between September
1938 and March 1939 – that is,

between the Munich Agreement
that seemed like it would avert war
by forestalling Hitler’s intended
invasion of Czechoslovakia, and
the invasion itself.

The Cockfields

10pm, BBC Two
This charming, well-observed
sitcom was originally broadcast
on Gold in 2019 but now sees
the light of day (or late evening)
on BBC Two. It is co-written by
Joe Wilkinson, who also stars
as Simon Cockfield, who has
returned to his family home
on the Isle of Wight for his 40th
birthday celebrations and to
introduce his new partner
(played by Motherland’s Diane
Morgan). Simon’s mother is

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15
Jeremy Vine (S). 1.45
Home And Away (R) (S).
2.15 FILM: To Die For
(Robin Hays 2020) Thriller,
starring Julie Benz (S).
4.00 Bargain-Loving Brits
In The Sun (R) (S). 5.00 5
News At 5 (S).

6.00 ITV Regional
News; Weather
(S).
6.30 ITV News;
Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons A
cat burglar puts
Springfield in a
panic (R) (S).
6.30 Hollyoaks (R) (S).

6.00 Cash In The Attic
Helping people
make money (S).
6.30 Eggheads (S).
6.55 5 News Update
(S).

7.00 The One Show
(S).
7.30 EastEnders
Whitney and
Zack agree to
talk about their
issues (S).

7.00 Your Home
Made Perfect
Will Foster and
Lynsey Elliott
compete to
remodel a home
in Gosport (R) (S).

7.30 Emmerdale Alex
plans his
robbery (S).

7.00 Channel 4 News
(S).

7.00 The Gadget
Show: Shop
Smart, Save
Money (S).
7.55 5 News Update
(S).

7.00 Great British
Railway
Journeys (S).
7.30 The Flying
Archaeologist
(S).

8.00 The Repair Shop
New series.
Experts restore
a painting
belonging to a
Ukrainian family
(S).

8.00 Great British
Menu The chefs
from the Central
England region
serve up their
main dishes and
desserts (S).

8.00 Coronation
Street Paul
comes to
Gemma’s rescue
(S).

8.00 Kirstie And
Phil’s Love It Or
List It: Brilliant
Builds (S).

8.00 Secret Life Of
The Forest (S).

8.00 Chris Packham’s
Animal
Einsteins (S).

9.00 Race Across The
World New
series (S).

9.00 Saving Lives In
Leeds A cancer
patient suffering
from anxiety
tries to
discharge
himself (S).

9.00 The Bay CCTV
evidence leads
to a major
development in
the case (S).

9.00 Grand Designs A
couple building
a curved glass
family home in
Manchester (R)
(S).

9.00 Tyrant: The Rise
Of Adolf Hitler
(S).

9.00 Six Wives With
Lucy Worsley
The historian
explores the fate
of the last three
wives of Henry
VIII (S).

10.00 BBC News At
Ten (S).
10.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather
(S).
10.40 Jerk (R) (S).

10.00 The Cockfields
New series.
Comedy, with
Joe Wilkinson
and Diane
Morgan (S).
10.30 Newsnight (S).

10.00 ITV News At
Ten; Weather (S).
10.30 ITV Regional
News; Weather
(S).
10.45 Peston (S).

10.00 Rise And Fall
One Grafter has
the opportunity
to rise (S).

10.00 Casualty 24/7:
Every Second
Counts (R) (S).

10.00 The Six Wives Of
Henry VIII The
Duke of Norfolk
presents his
niece Catherine
Howard to the
king (S).

10.00 Family Guy
Peter’s past as a
sperm donor
catches up with
him (S).
10.30 Family Guy (S).

11.05 Jerk (R) (S).
11.30 Live NBA Dallas
Mavericks vs
Golden State
Warriors
(Tip-off 11.30pm)
(S).

11.15 FILM:
Radioactive
(Marjane Satrapi
2019) Biopic of
Marie Curie,
with Rosamund
Pike (S).

11.40 Heathrow:
Britain’s Busiest
Airport Airside
officer Ian has a
close shave out
on the runway
(R) (S).

11.05 Night Coppers
On the beat with
the police
officers of
Brighton after
dark (R) (S).

11.05 Motorway Cops:
Catching
Britain’s
Speeders (R) (S).

11.30 The Six Wives Of
Henry VIII Last
in the series (S).

11.00 Family Guy (S).
11.30 American Dad!
Steve
announces he is
going through
puberty (S).

2.05 BBC News (S).

1.00 Sign Zone: Saved
And Remade (R) (S). 1.40
Sign Zone: Rip Off Britain:
Holidays (R) (S). 2.25 Sign
Zone: Amanda & Alan’s
Italian Job (R) (S). 2.55 Sign
Zone: Scarlett’s Driving
School (R) (S).

12.05 Shop: Ideal World
3.00 Queens Of The Street
(R) (S). 3.50 Unwind With
ITV (S). 5.05 The Secret Life
Of Our Pets (R) (S).

12.10 24 Hours In A&E
(R) (S). 1.05 Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA
(R) (S). 1.55 Couples Come
Dine With Me (R) (S). 2.50
Nazanin (R) (S).

12.05 Police: Night
Shift 999 (R) (S). 12.55
Ambulance: Code Red (R)
(S). 1.45 Entertainment
News On 5 (S). 2.00 The
LeoVegas Live Casino
Show (S). 4.00 Hijacked
(R) (S).

1.00 Great British Railway
Journeys (S). 1.30 The
Flying Archaeologist
(S). 2.00 Six Wives With
Lucy Worsley (S). 3.00
Chris Packham’s Animal
Einsteins (S). 4.00 Close

LATE

11PM

10PM

9PM

6PM

DAYTIME

6.10 Countdown (R) (S).
6.50 3rd Rock From The
Sun (R) (S). 7.15 3rd Rock
From The Sun (R) (S). 7.40
The King Of Queens (R) (S).
8.05 The King Of Queens
(R) (S). 8.30 The King Of
Queens (R) (S). 9.00 Frasier
(R) (S). 9.30 Frasier (R) (S).
10.00 Frasier (R) (S). 10.30
Undercover Boss USA
(R) (S). 11.25 Channel 4
News Summary (S). 11.30
Emergency Helicopter
Medics (S). 12.30 Steph’s
Packed Lunch (S). 2.10
Countdown (S). 3.00 Tool
Club (S). 4.00 A New Life In
The Sun (R) (S). 5.00 Four
In A Bed (S). 5.30 Come
Dine With Me (R) (S).

7PM

9pm, ITV1
Having a family liaison officer
as a central character does give
a crime drama greater latitude

than most to delve into domestic
affairs – although you wonder
whether they would be quite as
proactive as DS Jenn Townsend
(Marsha Thomason) in real life.
Anyway, more secrets and lies
surface in Morecambe as the
Metcalf children struggle to come
to terms with their loss, and
CCTV evidence leads to a major
development in the case.

8PM

Claudia and Kevin have 16,000km to travel
in ‘Race Across the World’, 9pm, BBC One

9pm, BBC One
Imagine you’d been given £2,500 to
travel the 16,000km from Canada’s
Pacific coast to its Atlantic fringe
in the quickest possible time –

radio

6.00 Breakfast (S). 9.15
Morning Live (S). 10.00
Crimewatch Live (S).
10.45 Critical Incident
(S). 11.15 Homes Under
The Hammer (R) (S). 12.15
Bargain Hunt (R) (S).
1.00 BBC News At One;
Weather (S). 1.30 BBC
Regional News; Weather
(S). 1.45 Doctors (S). 2.15
Jay And Dom’s Home
Fix (R) (S). 3.00 Escape To
The Country (R) (S). 3.45
Antiques Road Trip (S).
4.30 Bridge Of Lies (R) (S).
5.15 Pointless (R) (S).

6.15 Walks Of Life (R) (S).
7.15 Bargain Hunt (R)
(S). 8.00 Sign Zone: Take
A Hike (R) (S). 8.30 Sign
Zone: 24/7 Pet Hospital
(R) (S). 9.00 BBC News
(S). 10.00 BBC News (S).
11.15 Politics Live (S).
1.00 Impossible (R) (S).
1.45 Eggheads (R) (S). 2.15
Eggheads (R) (S). 2.45 Hairy
Bikers’ Best Of British (R)
(S). 3.15 Eat Well For Less?
(R) (S). 4.15 The World’s
Most Extraordinary
Homes (R) (S). 5.15 Flog
It! (R) (S).

6.00 Good Morning
Britain (S). 9.00 Lorraine
(S). 10.00 This Morning (S).
12.30 Loose Women (S).
1.30 ITV News; Weather
(S). 1.55 ITV Regional
News; Weather (S). 2.00
Dickinson’s Real Deal (R)
(S). 3.00 Lingo (R) (S). 3.59
ITV Regional Weather (S).
4.00 Tipping Point (R) (S).
5.00 The Chase (R) (S).

6.00 BBC News At
Six; Weather (S).
6.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather
(S).

6.00 Richard Osman’s
House Of Games
(R) (S).
6.30 Coast To Coast
Food Festival (S).

Marsha Thomason
stars in ‘The Bay’
9pm, ITV1

Donna (Diane Morgan)
heads to the Isle of Wight
to meet her boyfriend
Simon’s family
10pm, BBC Two

Ecologist Cath keeps
an eye on the beavers
8pm, Channel 5
6.45 FILM:
Bumblebee
(Travis Knight
2018)
Transformers
prequel (S).

6.00 World’s Funniest
Videos (S). 6.35 Totally
Bonkers Guinness World
Records (S). 7.00 Love
Bites (S). 8.00 Dress To
Impress (S). 9.00 Chuck
(S). 10.00 One Tree Hill
(S). 11.00 The O.C (S).
12.00 Love Bites (S). 1.00
Dress To Impress (S). 2.00
Supermarket Sweep (S).
3.05 Chuck (S). 4.00 One
Tree Hill (S). 5.00 The
O.C (S).

6.00 Celebrity
Catchphrase
With Richard
Arnold, Danny
Miller and
Rachel Stevens
(S).
7.00 The Masked
Singer US The
final two singers
from group A
perform solo (S).

8.00 Superstore
Jonah finds
himself in
trouble with
Sandra (S).
8.30 Superstore (S).
9.00 FILM: Titanic
(James Cameron
1997) Romantic
drama, starring
Kate Winslet
and Leonardo
DiCaprio (S).

12.50 FILM: Elle (Paul
Verhoeven 2016) French
thriller, starring Isabelle
Huppert (S). 3.35 Close

9.00 Loaded In
Paradise Kara
and Kishon and
Jamie and Guy
face the chop (S).

12.00 American Dad!
(S). 12.30 Superstore (S).
1.00 Superstore (S). 1.30
CelebAbility (S). 2.15
Totally Bonkers Guinness
World Records (S). 2.40
Unwind With ITV (S). 3.00
Teleshopping

culture

played by Sue Johnston and
his controlling father by the
late Bobby Ball.

FILM CHOICE

The Six Wives of Henry VIII

10pm, BBC Four
BBC Four’s new role as a “heritage
channel” (so, saving cash by
mining the archives) has led to
some wonderful disinterment
of classic dramas on recent
Wednesdays. In the final double
bill of this 1970 drama, Keith
Michell’s Tudor monarch has
his head turned by the Duke of
Norfolk’s pretty niece Catherine
Howard (Angela Pleasence) before
she completely loses her head,
to be replaced by Catherine Parr
(Rosalie Crutchley).
Gerard Gilbert

6.00 Classic Coronation
Street (S). 6.35 Classic
Coronation Street (S). 7.00
Classic Emmerdale (S).
8.05 Man About The House
(S). 8.35 Man About The
House (S). 9.05 Where The
Heart Is (S). 10.10 Where
The Heart Is (S). 11.15
Agatha Christie’s Poirot
(S). 12.25 Heartbeat (S).
1.25 Classic Emmerdale (S).
1.55 Classic Emmerdale
(S). 2.30 Classic Coronation
Street (S). 3.05 Classic
Coronation Street (S). 3.40
Midsomer Murders (S).
5.55 Downton Abbey (S).

6.55 Heartbeat Nick
gets a
promotion (S).

Inglourious Basterds

9pm, 5Star
(Quentin Tarantino, 2009)
The titular Jewish American
commandos are one-dimensional
cyphers for derring-do – but
they have only supporting roles.
What Tarantino’s Second World
War movie unexpectedly lacks
in action, it makes up for with
things that are missing from his
excursions into genre cinema:
three-dimensional characters,
suspense and plot.

Radioactive

Brad Pitt stars in Quentin Tarantino’s wartime
adventure ‘Inglourious Basterds’, 9pm, 5Star

6.00 Hollyoaks (S).
6.30 Hollyoaks (S).
7.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S). 9.00
Married At First Sight
Australia (S). 10.30 The
Big Bang Theory (S). 11.00
Modern Family (S). 11.30
Modern Family (S). 12.00
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S).
12.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(S). 1.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 1.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S). 2.00 The
Big Bang Theory (S). 2.30
The Big Bang Theory (S).
3.00 Modern Family (S).
3.30 Modern Family (S).
4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(S). 4.30 Brooklyn NineNine (S). 5.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 5.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S).

8.55 Kirstie’s House Of
Craft (S). 9.15 A Place In
The Sun (S). 10.05 A New
Life In The Sun (S). 11.05
Find It, Fix It, Flog It (S).
12.05 Find It, Fix It, Flog It
(S). 1.10 Heir Hunters (S).
2.10 Four In A Bed (S). 2.40
Four In A Bed (S). 3.15 Four
In A Bed (S). 3.50 Four In
A Bed (S). 4.20 Four In A
Bed (S). 4.50 Location,
Location, Location (S). 5.55
Kirstie And Phil’s Love It
Or List It (S).

6.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S).
6.30 The Big Bang
Theory Sheldon
lends Penny
money to pay
her rent (S).

6.55 Escape To The
Chateau: DIY (S).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S).
7.30 Married At First
Sight Australia
(S).

7.55 Grand Designs
Building a
radical,
self-heating
family home (S).

11.15pm, BBC Two
(Marjane Satrapi, 2019)
The life and times of Marie Curie,
the double Nobel winner and
discoverer of radioactivity, get the

6.00 Stargate SG-1 (R)
(S). 7.00 Stargate SG-1
(R) (S). 8.00 DC’s Legends
Of Tomorrow (R) (S). 9.00
Quantum Leap (R) (S).
10.00 Supergirl (R) (S).
11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles
(R) (S). 12.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S). 1.00 Hawaii
Five-0 (R) (S). 2.00 S.W.A.T
(R) (S). 3.00 Quantum Leap
(R) (S). 4.00 DC’s Legends
Of Tomorrow (R) (S). 5.00
Supergirl (R) (S).

6.00 Urban Secrets (R)
(S). 7.00 Urban Secrets
(R) (S). 7.55 The Affair (R)
(S). 9.00 The Affair (R) (S).
10.05 Gomorrah (R) (S).
11.10 Gomorrah (R) (S).
12.15 Game Of Thrones
(R) (S). 1.20 Fortitude (R)
(S). 2.25 Fortitude (R) (S).
3.30 Gomorrah (R) (S). 4.35
Succession (R) (S). 5.45
Succession (R) (S).

standard-issue biopic treatment,
with a lead performance by
Rosamund Pike, and an emphasis
on Curie’s battle against the
prejudices of the stuffy male
establishment who dominated
the sciences.

Elle

12.50am, Film4
(Paul Verhoeven, 2016)
This psychological drama centres
on a remarkable performance of
icy hauteur by Isabelle Huppert.
She plays a video game-maker
who is violently raped in her own
Parisian apartment in scene one,
then declines to act for the rest
of the film in any of the ways you
think a victim should or would.
Laurence Phelan

Radio
listings
BBC Radio 1

6.57am Newsbeat 7.00 Radio 1 Breakfast With
Greg James 10.30 Newsbeat 10.32 Rickie,
Melvin And Charlie 12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00
Dean And Vicky 3.30 Newsbeat 3.32 Going
Home With Vick And Jordan 5.45 Newsbeat
6.00 Radio 1’s Future Sounds With Clara
Amfo 8.00 Radio 1’s Future Artists With Jack
Saunders 10.00 Radio 1’s Power Down Playlist
With Sian Eleri 11.00 Benji B 1am Radio
1’s Wind Down Presents 2.00 The Radio 1
Interview 2.15 Radio 1 Playlists 2.30 6 Degrees
From Jamie And Spencer

BBC Radio 1Xtra

8.00 Lewis A student
dies during a
clinical trial (S).

6.00 Stargate SG-1
The team meets
a new race (R) (S).

7.00 Stargate SG-1
Carter goes
missing (R) (S).

6.50 Yellowjackets
Shauna dabbles
in some light
cyber stalking (R)
(S).

7.55 Game Of
Thrones Arya
makes a plan (R)
(S).

6am Battle Of The Mixes 7.00 Nadia Jae
10.00 1Xtra’s Pull Up Mix 10.15 Ace 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Remi Burgz 3.45 1Xtra’s Pull Up
Mix 4.00 Reece Parkinson 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00
Reece Parkinson 7.00 DJ Target 9.00 DJ Edu
– Destination Africa 10.30 DJ Edu’s DNA Mix
11.00 Snoochie Shy 1am Pressed 1.40 1Xtra
Playlists 2.00 Sir Spyro 4.00 1Xtra @ 20-20
Years Of R&B 5.00 1Xtra Salutes..

BBC Radio 2

6.30am The Zoe Ball Breakfast Show 9.30 Gary
Davies 12noon Jeremy Vine 2.00 Scott Mills
4.00 Sara Cox 6.30 Sara Cox’s Half Wower 7.00
Jo Whiley’s Shiny Happy Playlist 7.30 Jo Whiley
9.00 The Folk Show With Mark Radcliffe 10.00
Trevor Nelson’s Magnificent 7 10.30 Trevor
Nelson’s Rhythm Nation 12mdn’t OJ Borg 3.00
C2C Live – Midland

BBC Radio 3

6.30am Breakfast 9.00 Essential Classics
12noon Composer Of The Week: Bizet 1.00
Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert 2.00 Afternoon
Concert 4.00 Choral Evensong 5.00 In Tune
7.00 Classical Mixtape 7.30 Radio 3 In Concert
10.00 Free Thinking 10.45 The Essay: Thinking
Black 11.00 Night Tracks 12.30am Through
The Night

8.00 S.W.A.T The
team tackles a
series of
random
shootings (R) (S).

BBC Radio 4

9.00 Fred’s Last
Resort (S).

9.00 24 Hours In
Police Custody
The arrest of a
man on
suspicion of
conspiracy to
murder (S).

9.00 SEAL Team The
members of
Bravo are
deployed to
northern Syria.

9.00 Django John
tries to turn
New Babylon
into a fortress
(S).

10.00 Blue Murder
Detective Janine
Lewis returns to
work following
her maternity
leave (S).

10.00 First Dates
Ireland New
series. Limerick
twins Mary
and Martina
arrive for a
double date (S).

10.30 24 Hours In A&E
A 10-year-old
needs surgery
for a broken
femur (S).

10.00 A Town Called
Malice Crime
thriller, starring
Jack Rowan (R).

10.05 Django John and
Django track
down Sarah (S).

11.30 Wycliffe A body
is found at a
farm (S).

11.05 Gogglebox The
households’
opinions on
shows including
Love Is Blind,
Starstruck and
Cheaters (S).

11.35 999: On The
Front Line (S).

11.10 Fantasy Football
League Last in
the series (R).
11.45 A League Of
Their Own Road
Trip: Southeast
Asia (R).

11.10 The Last Of Us
Joel and Ellie
near the end of
their journey (R)
(S).

12.05 Naked Attraction (S).
1.10 Married At First Sight
Australia (S). 2.35 Fred’s
Last Resort (S). 3.30 First
Dates Ireland (S). 4.25 The
Big Bang Theory (S). 4.50
The Goldbergs (S). 5.15 The
Goldbergs (S).

12.40 Emergency
Helicopter Medics (S).
1.45 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does
Countdown (S). 2.50 24
Hours In A&E (S). 3.50
Close

12.40 Funny Woman (R).
1.35 Strike Back: Shadow
Warfare (R) (S). 2.30 Road
Wars (R). 3.00 Hawaii
Five-0 (R) (S). 4.00 S.W.A.T
(R) (S). 5.00 Highway Patrol
(R) (S). 5.30 Highway Patrol
(R) (S).

12.10 Perry Mason (R) (S).
1.20 The Gilded Age (R)
(S). 2.25 Game Of Thrones
(R) (S). 3.30 In Treatment
(R) (S). 4.00 Urban Secrets
(R) (S). 5.00 Urban Secrets
(R) (S).

12.40 Where The Heart
Is (S). 1.45 Man About
The House (S). 2.20
Unwind With ITV (S). 2.30
Teleshopping

6am Today 9.00 The Patch 9.30 One To One
9.45 Breaking Mississippi 10.00 Woman’s Hour
11.00 The Shamima Begum Story 11.30 Poison
In The Womb 12noon News 12.04 You And
Yours 12.57 Weather 1.00 The World At One
1.45 Shock And War: Iraq 20 Years On 2.00 The
Archers 2.15 Drama: Passenger List 3.00 Money
Box Live 3.30 Inside Health 4.00 Sideways 4.30
The Media Show 5.00 PM 5.57 Weather 6.00
Six O’Clock News 6.30 Conversations From
A Long Marriage 7.00 The Archers 7.15 Front
Row 8.00 The Moral Maze 8.45 Lent Talks 9.00
Costing The Earth 9.30 The Media Show 10.00
The World Tonight 10.45 Book At Bedtime: Old
God’s Time 11.00 Where To, Mate? 11.15 The
Skewer 11.30 Today In Parliament 12mdn’t
News And Weather 12.30 Breaking Mississippi
12.48 Shipping Forecast 1.00 As BBC World
Service 5.20 Shipping Forecast

BBC Radio 4 LW

8.31am Yesterday In Parliament 9.45 Daily
Service 12.01pm Shipping Forecast 5.54
Shipping Forecast

BBC Radio 4 Extra

6am Paul Temple And The Geneva Mystery
6.30 Lord Of Misrule 7.00 Sweet Sorrow 7.15
A Woman On The Edge Of Time 7.30 Women
Talking About Cars 8.00 Hancock’s Half Hour
8.30 Life, Death And Sex With Mike And Sue
9.00 Nature Table 9.30 The Small World Of
Dominic Holland 10.00 All Things Betray Thee
11.00 Paul Temple And The Geneva Mystery
11.30 Lord Of Misrule 12noon Sweet Sorrow
12.15 A Woman On The Edge Of Time 12.30

63

On Demand
Christine McGuinness:
The Secret World of Autistic
Women BBC iPlayer
The model looks back at how
her own life could have been
very different.
My Kind of Country Apple TV+
Country music goes diverse
in this reality talent contest.
Waco: American Apocalypse
Netflix
Series about David Koresh’s
Texan cult that ended in a
tragic siege.

Women Talking About Cars 1.00 Hancock’s
Half Hour 1.30 Life, Death And Sex With Mike
And Sue 2.00 Nature Table 2.30 The Small
World Of Dominic Holland 3.00 All Things
Betray Thee 4.00 Paul Temple And The
Geneva Mystery 4.30 Lord Of Misrule 5.00
Sweet Sorrow 5.15 A Woman On The Edge Of
Time 5.30 Women Talking About Cars 6.00
Hancock’s Half Hour 6.30 Life, Death And Sex
With Mike And Sue 7.00 Nature Table 7.30 The
Small World Of Dominic Holland 8.00 Well,
He Would, Wouldn’t He? 9.00 Short Cuts 9.30
Lennox 10.00 Comedy Club: Conversations
From A Long Marriage 10.30 Comedy Club:
Jason Cook’s School Of Hard Knocks 10.55
Comedy Club: The Comedy Club Interview
11.00 Comedy Club: Pippa Evans Grows Up
11.30 Comedy Club: This Is Craig Brown 11.45
Comedy Club: Gus Murdoch’s Sacred Cows
12mdn’t All Things Betray Thee 1.00 Paul
Temple And The Geneva Mystery 1.30 Lord Of
Misrule 2.00 Sweet Sorrow

BBC 5 Live

6am 5 Live Breakfast 9.00 Nicky Campbell
11.00 Naga Munchetty 1pm Nihal Arthanayake
4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport 7.30 5
Live Sport: The Euro Leagues Podcast 9.00 5
Live Boxing 10.00 Colin Murray 1am Dotun
Adebayo 5.00 Wake Up To Money

BBC 6 Music

7.30am Lauren Laverne 10.30 Mary Anne
Hobbs 1pm Craig Charles 4.00 Steve Lamacq
7.00 Marc Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe 12mdn’t Freak
Zone Playlist 1.00 Buzzcocks 2.00 The Totally
Wired World Of The Fall

Classic FM

6am More Music Breakfast 9.00 Alexander
Armstrong 12noon Anne-Marie Minhall 4.00
John Brunning 7.00 Smooth Classics At Seven
10.00 Smooth Classics 1am Bill Overton

Absolute Radio

6am Dave Berry 10.00 Leona Graham 1pm Ben
Burrell 4.00 Bush And Richie 7.00 Danielle
Perry 10.00 Jay Lawrence 1am Dan Noble

Heart

6.30am Heart Breakfast With Jamie Theakston
And Amanda Holden 10.00 Pandora Christie
1pm Matt Wilkinson 4.00 JK And Kelly Brook
7.00 Heart’s Feel Good Weekend With Dev
Griffin 10.00 Fia Tarrant 1am Simon Beale
4.00 Early Breakfast With Lindsey Russell

TalkSPORT

6am TalkSPORT Breakfast With Laura Woods
10.00 Jim White And Simon Jordan 1pm
Hawksbee And Jacobs 4.00 TalkSPORT Drive
With Andy Goldstein 7.00 Kick Off 10.00
Sports Bar 1am Extra Time

RADIO PICK
Radio 3 in Concert
7.30pm, BBC Radio 3

Martin Handley
(left) presents this
recording from the
Barbican’s Milton
Court, as the BBC
Singers perform
Johann Sebastian Bach’s six
motets with Dutch conductor
Peter Dijkstra and musicians
from the acclaimed Academy of
Ancient Music.

64

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Thursday television
CRITIC’S CHOICE

Live England
International Football

7pm, Channel 4
Italy vs England. All the action
from both teams’ opening Euro
2024 Group C qualifier in Naples.
Italy are unbeaten in their past six
meetings with England, with the
most famous of those contests
the Azzurri’s penalty shoot-out
triumph at Wembley Stadium
in the Euro 2020 final. However,
unlike their opponents, they
have failed to reach the past two
World Cups.

Isle of Wight:
Jewel of the South

9PM
10PM
11PM
LATE

8pm, Channel 5
It is refreshing to see Cornwall
and Devon being given a rest as

6.00 Breakfast (S). 9.15
Morning Live (S). 10.00
Crimewatch Live (S).
10.45 Critical Incident
(S). 11.15 Homes Under
The Hammer (R) (S). 12.15
Bargain Hunt (R) (S).
1.00 BBC News At One;
Weather (S). 1.30 BBC
Regional News; Weather
(S). 1.45 Doctors (S). 2.15
Jay And Dom’s Home
Fix (R) (S). 3.00 Escape To
The Country (R) (S). 3.45
Antiques Road Trip (S).
4.30 Bridge Of Lies (R) (S).
5.15 Pointless (R) (S).

6.15 Homes Under The
Hammer (R) (S). 7.15
Escape To The Country (R)
(S). 8.00 Sign Zone: Digging
For Britain (R) (S). 9.00
BBC News (S). 10.00 BBC
News (S). 12.15 Politics
Live (S). 1.00 Impossible
(R) (S). 1.45 Eggheads (R)
(S). 2.15 Eggheads (R) (S).
2.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best
Of British (R) (S). 3.15 Eat
Well For Less? (R) (S).
4.15 The World’s Most
Extraordinary Homes (R)
(S). 5.15 Flog It! (R) (S).

6.00 Good Morning
Britain (S). 9.00 Lorraine
(S). 10.00 This Morning (S).
12.30 Loose Women (S).
1.30 ITV News; Weather
(S). 1.55 ITV Regional
News; Weather (S). 2.00
Dickinson’s Real Deal (R)
(S). 3.00 Lingo (R) (S). 3.59
ITV Regional Weather (S).
4.00 Tipping Point (R) (S).
5.00 The Chase (R) (S).

6.00 BBC News At
Six; Weather (S).
6.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather
(S).

6.00 Richard Osman’s
House Of Games
(R) (S).
6.30 Coast To Coast
Food Festival (S).

7.00 The One Show
(S).
7.30 EastEnders
Things get
worse for Jack
and Denise (S).

Channel 5 continues its sojourn
across the Solent. The focus
this week is on Darcy Muncer,
whose job it is to keep the island’s
hundreds of thatched properties
looking top-notch. Meanwhile, in
East Cowes, B&B owners Karl and
David are preparing for the arrival
of tourists Meryl and Dave from
Wales. “Thrilling stuff,” you may
say dismissively – but that’s not
the point of a series like this one.

Customers: Are We
Being Served? Tonight

8.30pm, ITV1
When did customer service
become so bad? Was it during
the pandemic, when so many
customer-service personnel
were working from home? Or

is digitalisation to blame? Either
way, customer complaints are
said to have risen to their highest
levels for more than 10 years, with
poor customer service estimated
to cost UK businesses billions
of pounds each month. So what
happens when you take on the big
companies? Adam Shaw finds out
how to complain and win.

The Apprentice

9pm, BBC One
Despite some amusing rounds,
this latest series of The Apprentice
doesn’t seem to have captured
the public imagination. Perhaps
we are just tiring of the format.
In any case, the finalists take
on their last challenge to win
a £250,000 investment, with

6.10 Countdown (R) (S).
6.50 3rd Rock From The
Sun (R) (S). 7.15 3rd Rock
From The Sun (R) (S). 7.40
The King Of Queens (R) (S).
8.05 The King Of Queens
(R) (S). 8.30 The King Of
Queens (R) (S). 9.00 Frasier
(R) (S). 9.30 Frasier (R) (S).
10.00 Frasier (R) (S). 10.30
Undercover Boss USA
(R) (S). 11.25 Channel 4
News Summary (S). 11.30
Emergency Helicopter
Medics (S). 12.30 Steph’s
Packed Lunch (S). 2.10
Countdown (S). 3.00 Tool
Club (S). 4.00 A New Life In
The Sun (R) (S). 5.00 Four
In A Bed (S). 5.30 Come
Dine With Me (R) (S).

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15
Jeremy Vine (S). 1.45
Home And Away (R) (S).
2.15 FILM: The Stepmother
(David DeCoteau 2019)
Thriller, starring Vivica A
Fox (S). 4.00 BargainLoving Brits In The Sun (R)
(S). 5.00 5 News At 5 (S).

6.00 ITV Regional
News; Weather
(S).
6.30 ITV News;
Weather (S).

6.00 Channel 4 News
(S).

6.00 Cash In The Attic
Helping people
make money (S).
6.30 Eggheads
6.55 5 News Update
(S).

How Jeffrey Archer
won a libel trial – then
lost his freedom after
being found to have lied
9pm, Channel 5

7.00 Your Home
Made Perfect (R)
(S).

7.30 Emmerdale
Moira reveals
the theme for
the Stag and
Hen do (S).

7.00 Live England
International
Football Italy vs
England.
Kick-off is at
7.45pm (S).

7.00 Motorhoming
Yorkshire With
Merton &
Webster (S).
7.55 5 News Update
(S).

7.00 Great British
Railway
Journeys (S).
7.30 The Flying
Archaeologist
(S).

8.00 Dragons’ Den (S).

8.00 Great British
Menu (S).

8.30 Customers: Are
We Being
Served? Tonight
How consumers
can complain
and win (S).

8.00 Isle Of Wight:
Jewel Of The
South (S).

8.00 Pluto: Back
From The Dead
(S).

9.00 The Apprentice
The finalists take
on their last
challenge to win
a £250,000
investment. Last
in the series (S).

9.00 Inside Taiwan:
Standing Up To
China (S).

9.00 Cold Case
Detectives
Investigators
question a new
suspect in a
40-year-old
rape case (S).

9.00 Scandal: Jeffrey
Archer & The
Call-Girl (S).

9.00 FILM: Victoria &
Abdul (Stephen
Frears 2017)
Drama, starring
Judi Dench (S).

10.00 The Apprentice:
You’re Hired
Last in the series
(S).
10.30 BBC News At
Ten (S).

10.00 Mock The Week
With Angela
Barnes, Alasdair
Beckett-King,
Rhys James and
Ria Lina (R) (S).
10.30 Newsnight (S).

10.00 ITV News At
Ten; Weather (S).
10.30 ITV Regional
News (S).
10.45 The Jonathan
Ross Show (R)
(S).

10.00 Rise And Fall
The Grafters set
out to impress
the Rulers in the
Work Shift
challenge (S).

10.30 X-Rated: I Like A
Good Spanking!
The
unconventional
side of sex and
how it enhances
people’s lives (S).

10.45 FILM: Florence
Foster Jenkins
(Stephen Frears
2016) Fact-based
comedy, starring
Meryl Streep (S).

11.00 BBC Regional
News; Weather
(S).
11.10 Question Time
Fiona Bruce
hosts the debate
(S).

11.15 Saving Lives In
Leeds A cancer
patient suffering
from anxiety
tries to
discharge
himself (R) (S).

11.45 All Elite
Wrestling:
Rampage
Hard-hitting,
high-flying
wrestling action
(R) (S).

11.05 Gogglebox The
armchair critics
are back to
watch the best
of the week’s
television (R) (S).

11.25 Adults Only: Sex
Dolls Gone Wild
A look at the
business of
life-sized adult
dolls (R) (S).

12.10 Newscast (S). 12.40
The Gold: The Inside Story
(R) (S). 1.45 BBC News (S).

12.15 Becoming Frida
Kahlo (R) (S). 1.15 Sign
Zone: Rip Off Britain:
Holidays (R) (S). 2.00 Sign
Zone: Inside Our Autistic
Minds (R) (S). 3.00 This Is
BBC Two (S).

12.40 Shop: Ideal World
3.00 Unforgotten (R) (S).
3.50 Unwind With ITV (S).
5.05 Bling (R) (S).

12.05 England
International Football
(S). 1.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (R)
(S). 1.50 FILM: Victor
Frankenstein (Paul
McGuigan 2015) Gothic
horror (S).

12.20 Inside The Sex Toy
Factory (R) (S). 1.10 999:
Criminals Caught On
Camera (R) (S). 2.00 The
LeoVegas Live Casino
Show (S). 4.00 Parking Hell
(R) (S). 4.25 Parking Hell (R)
(S). 4.50 Parking Hell (R) (S).

8PM

7PM

6PM

DAYTIME

Lord Sugar prepares to finally name his
latest ‘Apprentice’, 9pm, BBC One

radio
contestants ejected earlier
in the series returning to aid
them in their endeavours. As
usual, the final two must launch
their business, create a brand
for their company, produce a
digital billboard, direct and edit
a television advertisement and
(a new feature) design a metaverse,
before pitching to Lord Sugar and
industry experts.

Inside Taiwan:
Standing Up to China

9pm, BBC Two
There has been a paucity of details
about this documentary, although
the title tells you most of what
you want to know. It’s about the
precautions being taken in Taiwan
as China ratchets up the sabre-

Harry Kane will hope
for a win against Italy
7pm, Channel 4

12.30 Imagine: Stephen
Frears – Director For
Hire (S). 1.35 Great British
Railway Journeys (S). 2.05
The Flying Archaeologist
(S). 2.35 Victorian
Sensations (S). 3.35 Close

Darcy Muncer restores
a very old thatched roof
8pm, Channel 5
6.45 FILM: Finding
Your Feet
(Richard
Loncraine 2017)
Comedy,
starring Imelda
Staunton (S).

6.00 World’s Funniest
Videos (S). 6.35 Totally
Bonkers Guinness World
Records (S). 7.00 Love
Bites (S). 8.00 Dress To
Impress (S). 9.00 Chuck
(S). 10.00 One Tree Hill
(S). 11.00 The O.C (S).
12.00 Love Bites (S). 1.00
Dress To Impress (S). 2.00
Supermarket Sweep (S).
3.05 Chuck (S). 4.00 One
Tree Hill (S). 5.00 The
O.C (S).

6.00 Celebrity
Catchphrase
With Joe Lycett,
Chizzy Akudolu
and Nick
Knowles (S).
7.00 The Masked
Singer US The
final two singers
from Group B
perform solo (S).

8.00 Superstore
Carol’s lawyer
arrives at Cloud
9 to depose the
employees (S).
8.30 Superstore (S).
9.00 FILM: Cast Away
(Robert
Zemeckis 2000)
Drama, starring
Tom Hanks (S).

9.00 Loaded In
Paradise The
five pairs are
back on the
Chase on the
island of Ios (S).
10.00 Family Guy The
Griffins go on a
rock music
cruise (S).
10.30 Family Guy (S).

11.50 FILM: XXx: The
Return Of
Xander Cage (DJ
Caruso 2017)
Action thriller,
starring Vin
Diesel (S).

11.00 Family Guy (S).
11.30 American Dad!
Roger believes
his identity has
been stolen (S).

2.00 FILM: Eagle vs
Shark (Taika Waititi
2006) Romantic comedy,
starring Loren Horsley (S).
3.50 Close

12.00 American Dad!
(S). 12.30 Superstore
(S). 1.00 Superstore (S).
1.30 Hey Tracey! (S). 2.15
Totally Bonkers Guinness
World Records (S). 2.40
Unwind With ITV (S). 3.00
Teleshopping

culture

rattling and threatens what would
be a globally catastrophic invasion.

FILM CHOICE

Scandal: Jeffrey Archer &
the Call-Girl

9pm, Channel 5
Jeffrey Archer was deputy
chairman of the Conservative
Party when forced to resign in
1987 after newspaper allegations
that he paid a sex worker –
subsequently winning libel
damages because of the claim.
It later emerged that he had lied
during the libel trial, leading to the
then Lord Archer’s imprisonment
for perjury and perverting the
course of justice. Here, political
figures, journalists and, er,
comedians retell the sorry tale.
Gerard Gilbert

6.00 Classic Emmerdale
(S). 6.35 Classic Emmerdale
(S). 7.00 Classic Coronation
Street (S). 7.35 Classic
Coronation Street (S). 8.05
Man About The House (S).
8.35 Man About The House
(S). 9.05 Where The Heart
Is (S). 10.10 Where The
Heart Is (S). 11.15 Agatha
Christie’s Poirot (S). 12.25
Heartbeat (S). 1.25 Classic
Emmerdale (S). 2.00
Classic Emmerdale (S).
2.35 Classic Coronation
Street (S). 3.10 Classic
Coronation Street (S). 3.45
Midsomer Murders (S).
5.50 Downton Abbey (S).

6.55 Heartbeat
Greengrass
starts a devious
plot (S).

Year One

7pm, Great! movies
(Harold Ramis, 2009)
In the final movie by Harold Ramis,
Jack Black and Michael Cera play
two hunter-gatherer buddies who
are exiled from their tribe and
end up bumping into various Old
Testament characters. Much of the
humour is lowbrow, but the leads
complement one another very
well and it is a goofy, free-form,
blithely anachronistic comedy.

Florence Foster Jenkins

Meryl Streep stars as a tone-deaf socialite in
‘Florence Foster Jenkins’, 10.45pm, BBC Four

10.45pm, BBC Four
(Stephen Frears, 2016)
Meryl Streep gives a delightful
comic turn as a fabulously
wealthy and spectacularly tonedeaf soprano who “entertained”

6.00 Stargate SG-1 (R)
(S). 7.00 Stargate SG-1
(R) (S). 8.00 DC’s Legends
Of Tomorrow (R) (S). 9.00
Quantum Leap (R) (S).
10.00 Supergirl (R) (S).
11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles
(R) (S). 12.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S). 1.00 Hawaii
Five-0 (R) (S). 2.00 S.W.A.T
(R) (S). 3.00 Quantum Leap
(R) (S). 4.00 DC’s Legends
Of Tomorrow (R) (S). 5.00
Supergirl (R) (S).

6.00 Urban Secrets (R)
(S). 7.00 Urban Secrets
(R) (S). 7.50 The Affair (R)
(S). 8.55 The Affair (R) (S).
10.05 Gomorrah (R) (S).
11.10 Gomorrah (R) (S).
12.15 Game Of Thrones
(R) (S). 1.20 Fortitude (R)
(S). 2.25 Fortitude (R) (S).
3.30 Gomorrah (R) (S). 4.30
Succession (R) (S). 5.40
Succession (R) (S).

6.00 Hollyoaks (S).
7.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S).
8.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S). 9.00
Married At First Sight
Australia (S). 10.30 The
Big Bang Theory (S). 11.00
Modern Family (S). 12.00
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S).
12.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(S). 1.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 1.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S). 2.00 The
Big Bang Theory (S). 2.30
The Big Bang Theory (S).
3.00 Modern Family (S).
3.30 Modern Family (S).
4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(S). 4.30 Brooklyn NineNine (S). 5.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 5.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S).

8.55 Kirstie’s House Of
Craft (S). 9.15 A Place In
The Sun (S). 10.05 A New
Life In The Sun (S). 11.05
Find It, Fix It, Flog It (S).
12.05 Find It, Fix It, Flog It
(S). 1.10 Heir Hunters (S).
2.10 Four In A Bed (S). 2.40
Four In A Bed (S). 3.15 Four
In A Bed (S). 3.50 Four In
A Bed (S). 4.20 Four In A
Bed (S). 4.50 Location,
Location, Location (S). 5.55
Kirstie And Phil’s Love It
Or List It (S).

6.00 The Big Bang
Theory
Leonard’s
mother visits (S).
6.30 The Big Bang
Theory (S).

6.55 Escape To The
Chateau: DIY A
big wedding is
threatened by a
sewage problem
(S).

6.00 Stargate SG-1
O’Neill becomes
technical
adviser on a
television series
(R) (S).

6.50 Yellowjackets
The girls opt to
throw one last
party (R) (S).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S).
7.30 Married At First
Sight Australia
(S).

7.55 Grand Designs A
couple building
a home that
looks like a work
of art in south
Devon (S).

7.00 Stargate SG-1 A
cadet team is
needed for a
mission (R) (S).

7.55 Game Of
Thrones Tyrion’s
plans bear fruit
(R) (S).

Death Wish

11.40pm, ITV4
(Michael Winner, 1974)
As with its four sequels and every
other urban vigilante movie,
Death Wish is a reactionary
fantasy offering an immoral and
simplistic solution to a problem
of its own devising. Which isn’t
to say its evocation of a New York
populated by muggers and rapists
isn’t effective, nor that watching
Charles Bronson blow them away
isn’t viscerally enjoyable.
Laurence Phelan

Radio
listings
BBC Radio 1

6.57am Newsbeat 7.00 Radio 1 Breakfast With
Greg James 10.30 Newsbeat 10.32 Rickie,
Melvin And Charlie 12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00
Dean And Vicky 3.30 Newsbeat 3.32 Going
Home With Vick And Jordan 5.45 Newsbeat
6.00 Radio 1’s Future Sounds With Clara Amfo
8.00 Radio 1’s Future Pop With Mollie King
10.00 BBC Introducing Dance 11.00 Radio 1’s
Residency 12mdn’t Radio 1’s Residency 1.00
Radio 1 Dance Presents 2.00 Radio 1 Relax

BBC Radio 1Xtra

8.00 Vera The
detective
reopens an
unsolved case
(S).

8.00 An Idiot Abroad
2 Karl Pilkington
travels to
Australia to
swim with
dolphins (R) (S).

6am Battle Of The Mixes 6.30 Battle Of The
Mixes 7.00 Nadia Jae 10.00 1Xtra’s Pull Up
Mix 10.15 Ace 12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00 Remi
Burgz 3.45 1Xtra’s Pull Up Mix 4.00 Reece
Parkinson 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Reece Parkinson
7.00 DJ Target 9.00 Seani B 11.00 Snoochie
Shy 1am Kenny Allstar 3.00 Future Wave With
Complexion 4.00 If You Don’t Know

BBC Radio 2

6.30am The Zoe Ball Breakfast Show 9.30 Gary
Davies 12noon Jeremy Vine 2.00 Scott Mills
4.00 Sara Cox 6.30 Sara Cox’s Half Wower 7.00
Jo Whiley’s Shiny Happy Playlist 7.30 Jo Whiley
9.00 The Country Show With Bob Harris 10.00
Trevor Nelson’s Magnificent 7 10.30 Trevor
Nelson’s Rhythm Nation 12mdn’t OJ Borg 3.00
C2C Live – Old Crow Medicine Show 3.30 C2C
Live – Lindsay Ell 4.00 Owain Wyn Evans

BBC Radio 3

9am Essential Classics 12noon Composer
Of The Week: Bizet 1.00 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert 2.00 Afternoon Concert 5.00 In Tune
7.00 Classical Mixtape 7.30 Radio 3 In Concert
10.00 Free Thinking 10.45 The Essay: Thinking
Black 11.00 The Night Tracks Mix 11.30
Unclassified 12.30am Through The Night

BBC Radio 4

9.00 Gogglebox
The households’
opinions on
shows including
Love Is Blind,
Starstruck and
Cheaters (S).

9.00 24 Hours In A&E
A 78-year-old
man is rushed in
with breathing
difficulties (S).

9.00 A Town Called
Malice Cindy
leads Gene on a
mission to
evade police
suspicion.

9.00 Billions Axe
makes an
aggressive
business move
(R) (S).

10.00 Naked
Attraction
A forensics
student hopes
to find his
ideal partner
in crime (S).

10.00 999: What’s Your
Emergency?
Wiltshire’s
emergency
services deal
with people who
live alone (S).

10.05 Brassic Cardi
proposes to
Carol (R) (S).

10.05 Perry Mason
Maynard Barnes
goes public with
a shocking new
development (R)
(S).

11.35 Wycliffe A ritual
death points to
satanic practices
(S).

11.05 First Dates
Bank manager
Ross hopes it
will be third
time lucky (S).

11.05 24 Hours In A&E
A 77-year-old
man is rushed to
St George’s after
collapsing at
home (S).

11.05 NCIS: Los
Angeles A
shoot-out
results in the
theft of a rare
cultural artifact
(R) (S).

11.20 Django John
tries to turn
New Babylon
into a fortress
(R) (S).

12.45 Where The Heart
Is (S). 1.45 Man About
The House (S). 2.20
Unwind With ITV (S). 2.30
Teleshopping

12.15 Gogglebox (S). 1.20
Rick And Morty (S). 1.50
Smiling Friends (S). 2.00
YOLO: Silver Destiny (S).
2.15 Married At First
Sight Australia (S). 3.35
Gogglebox (S). 4.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S).

12.10 999: On The Front
Line (S). 1.15 8 Out Of 10
Cats Does Countdown (S).
2.20 24 Hours In A&E (S).
3.25 Food Unwrapped (S).
3.50 Close

12.05 Resident Alien (R)
(S). 1.05 Road Wars (R).
2.00 Caribbean Cops (R).
3.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S).
4.00 S.W.A.T (R) (S). 5.00
Highway Patrol (R) (S). 5.30
Highway Patrol (R) (S).

12.25 Django (R) (S). 1.30
In Treatment (R) (S). 2.00
Drift – Partners In Crime
(S). 3.00 Game Of Thrones
(R) (S). 4.05 Urban Secrets
(R) (S). 5.05 Urban Secrets
(R) (S).

10.00 Blue Murder A
suicide case
takes a complex
turn (S).

New York high society between
the wars. Hugh Grant stars as
her husband, who earns his keep
bribing whomever it is necessary
to maintain her delusions.

6am Today 9.00 In Our Time 9.45 Breaking
Mississippi 10.00 Woman’s Hour 11.00 From
Our Own Correspondent 11.30 All The Names
You’ve Ever Called Me 12noon News 12.04 You
And Yours 12.30 Sliced Bread 12.57 Weather
1.00 The World At One 1.45 Shock And War:
Iraq 20 Years On 2.00 The Archers 2.15 Drama:
Passenger List 3.00 Ramblings 3.27 Radio
4 Appeal 3.30 Open Book 4.00 The Infinite
Monkey Cage 4.30 BBC Inside Science 5.00 PM
5.57 Weather 6.00 Six O’Clock News 6.30 Meet
David Sedaris 7.00 The Archers 7.15 Front Row
8.00 Law In Action 8.30 My Cousin, Regime
Changer 9.00 BBC Inside Science 9.30 In Our
Time 10.00 The World Tonight 10.45 Book At
Bedtime: Old God’s Time 11.00 My Teenage
Diary 11.30 Today In Parliament 12mdn’t News
And Weather 12.30 Breaking Mississippi 12.48
Shipping Forecast 1.00 As BBC World Service

BBC Radio 4 LW

8.31am Yesterday In Parliament 9.45 Daily
Service 12.01pm Shipping Forecast 5.54
Shipping Forecast

BBC Radio 4 Extra

6am Paul Temple And The Geneva Mystery
6.30 Lord Of Misrule 7.00 Sweet Sorrow 7.15
A Woman On The Edge Of Time 7.30 Guilt
Trip 8.00 The Burkiss Way 8.30 The World
As We Know It 9.00 The Unbelievable Truth
9.30 Clare In The Community 10.00 All
Things Betray Thee 11.00 Paul Temple And
The Geneva Mystery 11.30 Lord Of Misrule
12noon Sweet Sorrow 12.15 A Woman On
The Edge Of Time 12.30 Guilt Trip 1.00 The
Burkiss Way 1.30 The World As We Know It
2.00 The Unbelievable Truth 2.30 Clare In The
Community 3.00 All Things Betray Thee 4.00

65

On Demand
Saint Omer Mubi
Witchcraft and baby-killing
in an extraordinary real-life
French courtroom drama.
The Night Agent Netflix
There is a mole in the
White House in this action
thriller series.
Murder in the Pacific
BBC iPlayer
Absorbing docuseries about
the fatal 1985 bombing
of the Greenpeace ship
Rainbow Warrior.

Paul Temple And The Geneva Mystery 4.30
Lord Of Misrule 5.00 Sweet Sorrow 5.15 A
Woman On The Edge Of Time 5.30 Guilt Trip
6.00 The Burkiss Way 6.30 The World As We
Know It 7.00 The Unbelievable Truth 7.30 Clare
In The Community 8.00 Mastertapes – Access
All Areas 9.00 Great Lives 9.30 Lennox 10.00
Comedy Club: Meet David Sedaris 10.30
Comedy Club: Paul Sinha’s History Revision
11.00 Comedy Club: Creme De La Crime 11.15
Comedy Club: Bird Island 11.30 Comedy Club:
Richard Herring’s Objective 12mdn’t All Things
Betray Thee 1.00 Paul Temple And The Geneva
Mystery 1.30 Lord Of Misrule 2.00 Sweet
Sorrow 2.15 A Woman On The Edge Of Time

BBC 5 Live

6am 5 Live Breakfast 9.00 Nicky Campbell
11.00 Adrian Chiles 1pm Nihal Arthanayake
4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport 7.45 5 Live
Sport 10.00 Colin Murray 1am Greg McKenzie
5.00 The Big Green Money Show

BBC 6 Music

7.30am Lauren Laverne 10.30 Mary Anne
Hobbs 1pm Craig Charles 4.00 Steve Lamacq
6.00 Steve Lamacq’s Roundtable 7.00 Marc
Riley 9.00 6 Music Festival: Tom Robinson
BBC Introducing Special 9.35 6 Music Festival:
Phoebe Green 9.45 6 Music Festival: Tom
Robinson BBC Introducing Special 10.15 6
Music Festival: The Lathums 11.00 6 Music
Festival: Tom Robinson BBC Introducing
Special 12mdn’t New Music Fix With Steve
Lamacq 1.00 New Music Fix With Mary
Anne Hobbs 2.00 New Music Fix With Tom
Ravenscroft 3.00 New Album Fix

Classic FM

6am More Music Breakfast 9.00 Alexander
Armstrong 12noon Anne-Marie Minhall 4.00
John Brunning 7.00 Smooth Classics At Seven
10.00 Smooth Classics 1am Bill Overton

Absolute Radio

6am Dave Berry 10.00 Leona Graham 1pm Ben
Burrell 4.00 Bush And Richie 7.00 Danielle
Perry 10.00 Jay Lawrence 1am Dan Noble

Heart

6.30am Heart Breakfast With Jamie Theakston
And Amanda Holden 10.00 Pandora Christie
1pm Matt Wilkinson 4.00 JK And Kelly Brook
7.00 Heart’s Feel Good Weekend With Dev
Griffin 10.00 Fia Tarrant 1am Simon Beale
4.00 Early Breakfast With Lindsey Russell

TalkSPORT

6am TalkSPORT Breakfast With Alan Brazil
10.00 Jim White And Simon Jordan 1pm
Hawksbee And Baker 4.00 TalkSPORT Drive
With Andy Goldstein 7.00 Kick Off 10.00
Sports Bar 1am Extra Time

RADIO PICK
Ramblings

3pm, BBC Radio 4
Steve Jenkinson
helps a range of
organisations
develop harmonious
relationships with
dog walkers who use
their land. He lives on Orkney,
where Clare Balding (above)
meets him and his border collie,
Teal, for a coastal walk that
passes by the Broch of Gurness.
Jenkinson advises Balding how
to safely and considerately walk
with a dog in the countryside.

66

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Friday television
CRITIC’S CHOICE

Phoenix Rise

7.30pm, BBC Three
“Don’t worry about your past, at
Phoenix Rise we concentrate on
your future,” says the head at the
titular West Midlands secondary
school in this lively, upbeat new
coming-of-age drama (co-writer
Matt Evans also had a hand in
Sky’s equally perky A Town Called
Malice). Six very different misfit
teenagers take their first tentative
steps into mainstream education
after exclusion.

Locked Away: Our Autism
Scandal – Dispatches

6.00 Hollyoaks (R) (S).
6.30 Hollyoaks A
helpless Diane
struggles to
convince Tony
to seek help (R)
(S).

6.00 Cash In The Attic
Helping people
make money (S).
6.30 Eggheads (R) (S).
6.55 5 News Update
(S).

7.00 The One Show
Live magazine
show (S).
7.30 Question Of
Sport (S).

7.00 Your Home
Made Perfect
Laura Jane Clark
and Will Foster
compete to
remodel a home
in Belfast (R) (S).

7.30 Emmerdale
Dawn is aghast
that Naomi has
fallen for Alex
(S).

7.00 Channel 4 News
(S).
7.30 Locked Away:
Our Autism
Scandal
– Dispatches (S).

7.00 Motorway Cops:
Catching
Britain’s
Speeders (R) (S).
7.55 5 News Update
(S).

7.00 Top Of The Pops
(S).
7.30 Top Of The Pops
(S).

8.00 Beyond
Paradise A man
is found dead in
the middle of a
crop circle (S).

8.00 Gardeners’
World How to
make the most
of herbaceous
perennials (S).

8.00 Coronation
Street Paul
makes a
worrying
discovery about
his injury (S).

8.00 Highclere:
Behind The
Scenes (R) (S).

8.00 Motorway: Hell
On The Highway
(S).

8.00 Top Of The Pops
With Tony
Capstick, Bad
Manners and
Kim Wilde (S).
8.30 Top Of The Pops
(S).

9.00 Would I Lie To
You? (S).
9.30 The Cleaner
New series (S).

9.00 Becoming Frida
Kahlo Last in
series (S).

9.00 Redemption
Colette visits the
hospital where
Stacey worked
(S).

9.00 Gogglebox The
armchair critics
appraise the
latest shows (S).

9.00 Amazing
Railway
Adventures
With Nick
Knowles (S).

9.00 Dolly Parton At
The BBC Archive
performances
by the country
superstar (S).

9.00 FILM: A
Vigilante (Sarah
Daggar-Nickson
2019) Drama,
starring Olivia
Wilde (S).

9.00 Loaded In
Paradise (S).

10.00 BBC News (S).
10.30 BBC Regional
News
10.40 FILM:
Shakespeare In
Love (John
Madden) (S).

10.00 Cunk On Britain
Philomena Cunk
investigates the
origins of the
universe (R) (S).
10.30 Newsnight (S).

10.00 ITV News At
Ten; Weather (S).
10.30 ITV Regional
News
10.45 FILM: Identity
Thief (Seth
Gordon 2013) (S).

10.00 Rise And Fall
One of the
Grafters has the
chance to rise to
the Penthouse
and become a
Ruler (S).

10.00 Live: World
Championship
Boxing: Arthur
vs Suarez (S).

10.00 Dolly Parton:
Here I Am An
intimate portrait
of the acclaimed
songwriter (S).

10.50 FILM: The Hunt
(Craig Zobel
2019) Premiere.
Horror thriller,
starring Betty
Gilpin (S).

10.00 Family Guy
Peter causes a
fight between
Lois’s parents (S).
10.30 Family Guy (S).

12.35 Michael McIntyre’s
The Wheel (R) (S). 1.35 BBC
News (S).

11.05 MOTDx (R) (S).
11.35 FILM: Eaten By
Lions (Jason
Wingard 2018)
Comedy,
starring Antonio
Aakeel (S).

DAYTIME
6PM

6.00 ITV Regional
News; Weather
(S).
6.30 ITV News;
Weather (S).

9PM

6.00 Richard Osman’s
House Of Games
(R) (S).
6.30 Coast To Coast
Food Festival (S).

9.30pm, BBC One
Greg Davies returns as crimescene cleaner Paul “Wicky”
Wickstead for a new series of what
are essentially self-contained
comedy two-handers – albeit
a bit of a three-hander in this
opening episode set in a pub.
Having promised his girlfriend he
will lay off the alcohol, Wicky is
discombobulated to find himself
wiping up blood in the public
bar of a dodgy London boozer
run by a hard-bitten landlady
played by Harriet Walter (who
is tremendous). Charlie Rawes,
meanwhile, plays a muscle-bound

6.00 BBC News At
Six; Weather (S).
6.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather
(S).

10PM

6.00 Good Morning
Britain (S). 9.00 Lorraine
(S). 10.00 This Morning (S).
12.30 Loose Women (S).
1.30 ITV News; Weather
(S). 1.55 ITV Regional
News; Weather (S). 2.00
Dickinson’s Real Deal (R)
(S). 3.00 Lingo (R) (S). 3.59
ITV Regional Weather (S).
4.00 Tipping Point (R) (S).
5.00 The Chase (R) (S).

9pm, Sky Atlantic
This glossy new action-packed
German thriller begins with a car
chase along a twisty coastal road
in Greece before reeling back six
days. Police investigator Ali (Ken
Duken, who once played a Prince
Harry lookalike) attempts to
transport an arrested Bundeswehr
soldier from Austria to Germany
and hits some major bumps in
the road – including a spectacular
bridge collapse. But who exactly

The Cleaner

6.00 Milkshake! 9.15
Jeremy Vine (S). 1.45
Home And Away (R) (S).
2.15 FILM: Tracking A
Killer (Richard Switzer
2021) Drama, starring
Laurie Fortier (S). 4.00
Bargain-Loving Brits
In The Sun (R) (S). 5.00 5
News At 5 (S).

11PM

6.30 Saturday Kitchen
Best Bites (R) (S). 8.00
Sign Zone: Gardeners’
World (R) (S). 9.00 BBC
News (S). 10.00 BBC News
(S). 12.15 Politics UK (S).
1.00 Impossible (R) (S).
1.45 Eggheads (R) (S). 2.15
Eggheads (R) (S). 2.45 Hairy
Bikers’ Best Of British (R)
(S). 3.15 Eat Well For Less?
(R) (S). 4.15 The World’s
Most Extraordinary
Homes (R) (S). 5.15 Flog
It! (R) (S).

9pm, BBC Two
When we left Kahlo in last
week’s instalment, she had lost
both her baby and her mother.
Now she discovers that her
husband, Diego Rivera, is sleeping
with her sister – a sustained
relationship and not just a fling.
It makes you marvel at the loving

Drift – Partners in Crime

has gone to such pains to liberate
the arrested soldier?

6.10 Countdown (R) (S).
6.50 3rd Rock From The
Sun (R) (S). 7.15 3rd Rock
From The Sun (R) (S). 7.40
The King Of Queens (R) (S).
8.05 The King Of Queens
(R) (S). 8.30 The King Of
Queens (R) (S). 9.00 Frasier
(R) (S). 9.30 Frasier (R) (S).
10.00 Frasier (R) (S). 10.30
Celebrity Undercover Boss
USA (R) (S). 11.25 Channel 4
News Summary (S). 11.30
Emergency Helicopter
Medics (S). 12.30 Steph’s
Packed Lunch (S). 2.10
Countdown (S). 3.00 Tool
Club (S). 4.00 A New Life In
The Sun (R) (S). 5.00 Four
In A Bed (S). 5.30 Come
Dine With Me (R) (S).

LATE

6.00 Breakfast (S). 9.15
Morning Live (S). 10.00
Crimewatch Live (S).
10.45 Critical Incident
(S). 11.15 Homes Under
The Hammer (R) (S). 12.15
Bargain Hunt (R) (S).
1.00 BBC News At One;
Weather (S). 1.30 BBC
Regional News; Weather
(S). 1.45 Hope Street
(R) (S). 2.30 The Repair
Shop (S). 3.00 Escape To
The Country (R) (S). 3.45
Antiques Road Trip (R) (S).
4.30 Bridge Of Lies (R) (S).
5.15 Pointless (R) (S).

Becoming Frida Kahlo

tone she sustained in her letters
to and about Rivera – although
her affair with Rivera’s mentor,
the Russian Communist leader
Leon Trotsky could be seen as
revenge of sorts.

7PM

7.30pm, Channel 4
A film by award-winning autistic
director Richard Butchins (The
Truth About Disability Benefits) in

which, for the first time, autistic
patients housed in mental health
units relate their experiences
in their own words. Some have
been incarcerated for years in
unsuitable wards and hospitals
across the UK. The videos, made
secretly by patients and sent to
Butchins, paint a stark portrait of
a healthcare system in crisis.

8PM

Charlie Rawes,Greg Davies and Harriet Walter
star in ‘The Cleaner’, 9.30pm, BBC One

radio

1.05 Dave (R) (S). 1.40 Sign
Zone: Surviving The Pay
Squeeze – Panorama (R)
(S). 2.10 Sign Zone: Parole
(R) (S). 3.10 Sign Zone: Our
Flag Means Death (R) (S).
3.45 This Is BBC Two (S).

Richard Butchins tells
autistic patients’ stories
7.30pm, Channel 4

12.05 Father Ted (R) (S).
3.20 Father Ted (R) (S). 3.50
Couples Come Dine With
Me (R) (S). 4.40 Location,
Location, Location (R) (S).
5.30 Best Of Britain By The
Sea (R) (S).

Turbulent love shakes
Frida Kahlo’s world
9pm, BBC Two
6.50 FILM: I, Robot
(Alex Proyas
2004) Sci-fi
thriller, starring
Will Smith (S).

12.05 FILM: Creed (Ryan
Coogler 2015) (S). 2.20
Entertainment News On
5 (S). 2.30 The LeoVegas
Live Casino Show (S). 4.30
Parking Hell (R) (S). 5.15
Friends (R) (S).

12.40 Country Queens At
The BBC (S). 1.40 Top Of
The Pops (S). 2.10 Top Of
The Pops (S). 2.40 Top Of
The Pops (S). 3.10 Close

6.00 Celebrity
Catchphrase
With Jenny
Ryan, David
Baddiel and
Hollie Arnold (S).
7.00 The Masked
Singer US The
final two singers
perform
Christmas songs
(S).
8.00 Superstore
Jonah tries to
build Sandra’s
confidence (S).
8.30 Superstore (S).

11.30 Dolly Parton At
Glastonbury
2014 The
country singer’s
complete set on
the Pyramid
stage (S).

11.05 8 Out Of 10 Cats
Does
Countdown (R)
(S).

12.35 Shop: Ideal World
3.00 The Jonathan Ross
Show (R) (S). 3.55 Unwind
With ITV (S). 5.05 Ainsley’s
Fantastic Flavours (R) (S).

An intimate portrait
of acclaimed country
singer and songwriter
Dolly Parton
10pm, BBC Four

6.00 World’s Funniest
Videos (S). 6.35 Totally
Bonkers Guinness World
Records (S). 7.00 Love
Bites (S). 8.00 Dress To
Impress (S). 9.00 Chuck
(S). 10.00 One Tree Hill
(S). 11.00 The O.C (S).
12.00 Love Bites (S). 1.00
Dress To Impress (S). 2.00
Supermarket Sweep (S).
3.05 Chuck (S). 4.00 One
Tree Hill (S). 5.00 The
O.C (S).

11.00 Family Guy
Brian is forced
into being
Carter’s guide
dog (S).
11.30 American Dad!
(S).
12.35 FILM: Free Fire
(Ben Wheatley 2016)
Comedy crime drama,
starring Cillian Murphy
(S). 2.20 FILM: In Fear
(Jeremy Lovering 2013)
Horror, starring Iain De
Caestecker (S). 4.00 Close

12.00 American Dad!
(S). 12.30 Superstore (S).
1.00 Superstore (S). 1.30
CelebAbility (S). 2.15
Totally Bonkers Guinness
World Records (S). 2.45
Unwind With ITV (S). 3.00
Teleshopping

culture

bar manager called Cuddles.
Further guests in the series will
include Simon Callow, Asim
Chaudhry and Davies’s former
Man Down co-star, Roisin Conaty.

FILM CHOICE

Dolly Parton: Here I Am

10pm, BBC Four
“I look bizarre and artificial but
I’m totally real inside,” says Dolly
Parton as the country music
legend gives extensive access to
her life and thoughts in a featurelength documentary from Francis
Whately, the Bafta-winning
director of the David Bowie:
Five Years trilogy. It is part of an
evening dedicated to the country
music star that culminates in her
2014 appearance at Glastonbury.
Gerard Gilbert

6.00 Classic Emmerdale
(S). 6.35 Classic Emmerdale
(S). 7.00 Classic Coronation
Street (S). 7.35 Classic
Coronation Street (S). 8.05
Man About The House (S).
8.35 Man About The House
(S). 9.05 Where The Heart
Is (S). 10.10 Where The
Heart Is (S). 11.15 Agatha
Christie’s Poirot (S). 12.25
Heartbeat (S). 1.25 Classic
Emmerdale (S). 2.00
Classic Emmerdale (S).
2.35 Classic Coronation
Street (S). 3.10 Classic
Coronation Street (S). 3.40
Midsomer Murders (S).
5.55 Downton Abbey (S).

7.00 Heartbeat A
death in custody
causes problems
for Mike (S).

Olivia Wilde stars as a woman helping domestic
abuse victims in ‘A Vigilante’, 9pm, Film4

12.40 Where The Heart
Is (S). 1.45 Man About
The House (S). 2.20
Unwind With ITV (S). 2.30
Teleshopping

9pm, 5Star
(Taylor Hackford, 1982)
There is more to this hit Cinderella
story than just a famous theme
song and Richard Gere in uniform.
The love affair between Gere’s

6.00 Stargate SG-1 (R)
(S). 7.00 Stargate SG-1
(R) (S). 8.00 DC’s Legends
Of Tomorrow (R) (S). 9.00
Quantum Leap (R) (S).
10.00 Supergirl (R) (S).
11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles
(R) (S). 12.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S). 1.00 Hawaii
Five-0 (R) (S). 2.00 S.W.A.T
(R) (S). 3.00 Quantum Leap
(R) (S). 4.00 DC’s Legends
Of Tomorrow (R) (S). 5.00
Supergirl (R) (S).

6.00 Hollyoaks (S).
7.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S).
8.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S). 9.00
Married At First Sight
Australia (S). 10.30 The
Big Bang Theory (S). 11.00
Modern Family (S). 12.00
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S).
12.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(S). 1.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 1.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S). 2.00 The
Big Bang Theory (S). 2.30
The Big Bang Theory (S).
3.00 Modern Family (S).
3.30 Modern Family (S).
4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(S). 4.30 Brooklyn NineNine (S). 5.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S). 5.30 The Big
Bang Theory (S).

8.55 Kirstie’s House Of
Craft (S). 9.15 A Place In
The Sun (S). 10.05 A New
Life In The Sun (S). 11.05
Find It, Fix It, Flog It (S).
12.05 Find It, Fix It, Flog It
(S). 1.10 Heir Hunters (S).
2.10 Four In A Bed (S). 2.40
Four In A Bed (S). 3.15 Four
In A Bed (S). 3.50 Four In
A Bed (S). 4.20 Four In A
Bed (S). 4.50 Location,
Location, Location (S). 5.55
Kirstie And Phil’s Love It
Or List It (S).

6.00 The Big Bang
Theory (S).
6.30 The Big Bang
Theory (S).

6.55 Escape To The
Chateau: DIY
Jonathan and
Michael prepare
for a wedding
day with 45
guests (S).

6.00 Stargate SG-1
The team races
to save Teal’c (R)
(S).

7.55 Grand Designs A
couple building
a house on a
sheer cliff on the
west coast of
Scotland (S).

7.00 Stargate SG-1 A
giant asteroid
threatens Earth
(R) (S).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S).
7.30 The Farmer
Wants A Wife:
Australia (S).

6.00 Richard E Grant’s
Hotel Secrets (R) (S).
7.00 Richard E Grant’s
Hotel Secrets (R) (S). 7.55
The Affair (R) (S). 9.00
The Affair (R) (S). 10.05
Gomorrah (R) (S). 11.10
Gomorrah (R) (S). 12.15
Game Of Thrones (R) (S).
1.20 Fortitude (R) (S). 2.25
Fortitude (R) (S). 3.25
Gomorrah (R) (S). 4.25
Succession (R) (S). 5.35
Succession (R).

9.00 FILM: John
Wick: Chapter 3
– Parabellum
(Chad Stahelski
2019) Action
thriller (S).

naval cadet and Debra Winger’s
factory worker is credible and
sexy, and thrown into relief by the
cynicism the rest of the film shows
towards gender relations.

Shakespeare in Love

10.40pm, BBC One
(John Madden, 1998)
It is 1593, and William Shakespeare
(Joseph Fiennes) is struggling to
complete his new play, “Romeo
and Ethel”. Enter Viola (Gwyneth
Paltrow), a noblewoman who is
disguised as a boy so she may join
his acting company, but becomes
his muse instead. Literate and
witty but also energetic and
bawdy, this is a romantic comedy
worthy of the Bard’s endorsement.
Laurence Phelan

Radio
listings
BBC Radio 1

6.33am Radio 1’s Best New Pop 6.57 Newsbeat
7.00 Radio 1 Breakfast With Greg James 10.00
Radio 1 Anthems 10.30 Newsbeat 10.32 Radio
1 Anthems 11.02 Katie Thistleton 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Matt And Mollie 3.00 Radio
1’s Party Anthems 4.00 The Official Chart On
Radio 1 With Jack Saunders 5.45 Newsbeat
6.00 Radio 1’s Dance Party With Danny Howard
8.00 Radio 1’s Future Dance With Sarah Story
10.00 Pete Tong 12mdn’t Radio 1’s Essential
Mix 2.00 Radio 1 Dance Presents

BBC Radio 1Xtra

6.50 Yellowjackets
The girls
navigate
damning
evidence and
false alibis (R) (S).
7.55 Game Of
Thrones As the
Starks prepare
to fight, Davos
loses something
dear (R) (S).

6am Battle Of The Mixes 6.30 Battle Of The
Mixes 7.00 Nadia Jae 10.00 1Xtra’s Pull Up
Mix 10.15 Nick Bright 12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00
Remi Burgz 3.45 1Xtra’s Pull Up Mix 4.00 Sian
Anderson 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Sian Anderson
7.00 1Xtra’s Rave Show With Jeremiah Asiamah
8.30 Jeremiah Asiamah’s Get Lit Mix 9.00
Kenny Allstar 11.00 Sir Spyro 12mdn’t 1Xtra’s
R&B Weekender-R&B Takeover 1.00 1Xtra
Salutes… 2.00 1Xtra @ 20-20 Years Of R&B

BBC Radio 2

6.30am The Zoe Ball Breakfast Show 9.30 Gary
Davies 12noon Jeremy Vine 2.00 Scott Mills
3.30 Scott Mills’ Wonder Years 4.00 Sara Cox
7.00 Michelle Visage 8.30 Michelle Visage’s
Handbag Hits 9.00 The Good Groove With DJ
Spoony 11.00 The Rock Show With Johnnie
Walker 12mdn’t Romesh Ranganathan: For The
Love Of Hip-Hop 1.00 Zoe Ball Meets Pedro
Pascal 1.30 Zoe Ball Meets Idris Elba 2.00 U2’s
Bono And The Edge – A Piano Room Special

BBC Radio 3

6.30am Breakfast 9.00 Essential Classics
12noon Composer Of The Week: Bizet 1.00
Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert 2.00 Afternoon
Concert 4.30 The Listening Service 5.00 In
Tune 7.00 Classical Mixtape 7.30 Radio 3 In
Concert 10.00 The Verb 10.45 The Essay:
Thinking Black 11.00 Late Junction 1am
Composed with Devonté Hynes

8.00 Strike Back:
Shadow Warfare
(R) (S).

9.00 The Wall: Cover
Your Tracks
Celine
concludes her
daughter is in
danger. Last in
the series (S).

9.00 A League Of
Their Own Road
Trip: Southeast
Asia Last in
series.

9.00 Drift – Partners
In Crime
German thriller,
starring Ken
Duken (S).

10.00 24 Hours In A&E
A man faces
extensive
surgery after
colliding with a
car on his
motorbike (S).

10.00 Peacemaker (R)
(S).

10.00 Drift – Partners
In Crime Ali is
suspended from
duty (S).

11.35 Naked
Attraction
Flight attendant
Alex from
Bristol hopes he
can find the
perfect man (S).

11.05 24 Hours In A&E
A woman is
rushed to A&E
with signs of a
stroke (S).

11.00 Banshee Calvin
faces Kurt (R) (S).

12.40 Naked Attraction
(S). 1.45 Gogglebox (S).
2.45 The Farmer Wants
A Wife: Australia (S).
4.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (S). 4.50
The Goldbergs (S). 5.15 The
Goldbergs (S).

12.10 8 Out Of 10 Cats
Does Countdown (S). 1.10
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does
Countdown (S). 2.10 24
Hours In A&E (S). 3.15
Food Unwrapped (S). 3.45
Close

12.10 SEAL Team (R). 1.05
Road Wars (R) (S). 2.00 The
Force: North East (R) (S).
3.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S).
4.00 S.W.A.T (R) (S). 5.00
Highway Patrol (R) (S). 5.30
Highway Patrol (R) (S).

10.00 Blue Murder A
popular mullah
is murdered (S).

11.30 Wycliffe A boat
owner dies
mysteriously (S).

9pm, Film4
(Sarah Daggar-Nickson, 2018)
Olivia Wilde gives a mesmerising
performance in this indie
revenge drama as a young
woman with a lot of scars and
trauma, who, armed with the
power that comes from having
nothing left to lose, sets herself
up as an avenging angel righting
the wrongs suffered by fellow
domestic abuse survivors.

An Officer and a Gentleman

8.00 Doc Martin The
irascible medic
and Louisa
embark on a
date (S).

9.00 Doc Martin
News of Martin
and Louisa’s
engagement
spreads (S).

A Vigilante

11.00 Billions Wendy
faces a moral
dilemma (R) (S).

BBC Radio 4

6am Today 9.00 Desert Island Discs 9.45
Breaking Mississippi 10.00 Woman’s Hour
11.00 The Battle For Liberal Democracy 11.30
Lemn Sissay Is The One And Only 12noon
News 12.04 AntiSocial 12.57 Weather 1.00
The World At One 1.45 Shock And War: Iraq 20
Years On 2.00 The Archers 2.15 Drama: Who
Killed Aldrich Kemp? 2.45 Understand: The
Economy 3.00 Gardeners’ Question Time 3.45
Sunil Patel: An Idiot’s Guide To Cryptocurrency
4.00 Last Word 4.30 Feedback 5.00 PM 5.57
Weather 6.00 Six O’Clock News 6.30 The Now
Show 7.00 The Archers 7.15 Add To Playlist
8.00 Any Questions? 8.50 A Point Of View 9.00
National Health Stories – Omnibus 10.00 The
World Tonight 10.45 Book At Bedtime: Old
God’s Time 11.00 Americast 11.30 Today In
Parliament 12mdn’t News And Weather

BBC Radio 4 LW

8.31am Yesterday In Parliament 9.45 Daily
Service 12.01pm Shipping Forecast 5.54
Shipping Forecast

BBC Radio 4 Extra
12.10 Christian (R) (S).
1.20 The Plot Against
America (R) (S). 2.30 Game
Of Thrones (R) (S). 3.40
In Treatment (R) (S). 4.10
Richard E Grant’s Hotel
Secrets (R) (S).

6am Paul Temple And The Geneva Mystery
6.30 Lord Of Misrule 7.00 Sweet Sorrow
7.15 A Woman On The Edge Of Time 7.30 The
Wilsons Save The World 8.00 Steptoe And
Son 8.30 Babblewick Hall 9.00 Act Your Age
9.30 Trevor’s World Of Sport 10.00 All Things
Betray Thee 11.00 Paul Temple And The
Geneva Mystery 11.30 Lord Of Misrule 12noon
Sweet Sorrow 12.15 A Woman On The Edge Of

67

On Demand
Up Here Disney+
Musical romcom series
about self-sabotaging lovers
in 1999 New York.
Love is Blind Netflix
A new batch of singletons
aim to fall in love without
meeting face-to-face.
Phil Lynott: Songs for
While I’m Away
BBC iPlayer
Documentary recalls
the frontman of Irish
rock band Thin Lizzy.

Time 12.30 The Wilsons Save The World 1.00
Steptoe And Son 1.30 Babblewick Hall 2.00 Act
Your Age 2.30 Trevor’s World Of Sport 3.00
All Things Betray Thee 4.00 Paul Temple And
The Geneva Mystery 4.30 Lord Of Misrule 5.00
Sweet Sorrow 5.15 A Woman On The Edge Of
Time 5.30 The Wilsons Save The World 6.00
Steptoe And Son 6.30 Babblewick Hall 7.00 Act
Your Age 7.30 Trevor’s World Of Sport 8.00
The School Is Full Of Noises 8.30 That Reminds
Me 9.00 The Curious Cases Of Rutherford
& Fry 9.30 Lennox 10.00 Comedy Club: The
Ultimate Choice 10.30 Comedy Club: Beauty Of
Britain 10.55 Comedy Club: The Comedy Club
Interview 11.00 Comedy Club: John Kearns
11.15 Comedy Club: Poets’ Tree 11.30 Comedy
Club: Listen Against 12mdn’t Doctor Who: The
War Doctor 12.35 The New Accelerator

BBC 5 Live

6am Breakfast 9.00 Nicky Campbell 11.00
Chiles On Friday 1pm The Footballers’ Football
Podcast 1.30 Kammy & Ben 2.00 Elis James
And John Robins 4.00 Drive 7.00 The Friday
Football Social 9.00 Rugby Union 10.00
Stephen Nolan 1am Laura McGhie 5.00 Boxing

BBC 6 Music

10.30am Mary Anne Hobbs 1pm Craig Charles
4.00 Steve Lamacq 7.00 6 Music Festival:
Jamz Supernova And Afrodeutsche 7.45 6
Music Festival: Wu-Lu 9.00 6 Music Festival:
Deb Grant And Tom Ravenscroft 9.15 6 Music
Festival: Loyle Carner 10.30 6 Music Festival:
Deb Grant And Tom Ravenscroft 11.30 6 Music
Festival: Yard Act 12mdn’t 6 Music Festival: 6
Music’s Indie Forever

Classic FM

6am More Music Breakfast 9.00 Alexander
Armstrong 12noon Anne-Marie Minhall 4.00
John Brunning 7.00 Smooth Classics At Seven
10.00 Smooth Classics 1am Katie Breathwick

Absolute Radio

6am Dave Berry 10.00 Leona Graham 1pm Ben
Burrell 4.00 Bush And Richie 7.00 Absolute
80s Greatest Hits With Claire Sturgess 10.00
Sophie K 4am Emil Franchi

Heart

6.30am Heart Breakfast With Jamie Theakston
And Amanda Holden 10.00 Pandora Christie
1pm Matt Wilkinson 4.00 JK And Kelly Brook
7.00 Heart’s Club Classics With Toby Anstis
11.00 Rezzy Ghadjar 1am Katrina Ridley

TalkSPORT

6am TalkSPORT Breakfast 10.00 Jim White
And Simon Jordan 1pm Hawksbee And Jacobs
4.00 TalkSPORT Drive With Andy Goldstein
And Darren Bent 7.00 Kick Off 10.00 Sports
Bar 1am Extra Time With Martin Kelner

RADIO PICK
Drama: Who Killed
Aldrich Kemp?
2.15pm, BBC Radio 4

Julian Simpson’s
mystery returns,
with Phoebe Fox
and Nicola Walker
(left). Secret service
researcher Clara
Page has a fresh riddle: who
killed the elusive Aldrich Kemp?
The ensuing roller coaster
ride flies from the Italian
Riviera to the Malaysian jungle.
However, things begin with
trouble in London…

68

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

gardening

GUY BARTER
is the Royal
Horticultural
Society’s
(RHS) chief
horticulturalist

Jobs for the weekend
…perennials from seed

P

erennial flowers – those
that die down each
winter then return to
flower in summer – are
such a flexible way of
adding colour that most
gardeners often want more.
Seeds are a cost-effective way
to do just that. The downside is
that many seed-raised perennials
won’t flower until the second year
– although some, if sown early,
will flower in the first year in late
summer or early autumn.
To get plants to flower early,
sow as soon as possible in a heated
propagator and grow in a warm
greenhouse or even on a window
sill until large enough for individual
seedlings to be set out in small pots.
Packets of mixed colours are a
nuisance if only particular colours
are wanted. But sowing outdoors
in a row where space is available

allows growers to select the plants
they want to retain when they
flower in the second year.
Drought in many regions last
year led to casualties that can be
filled with drought-resistant plants.
Lavender grows readily from seed
and often flowers in its first year as
well – “Vicenza Blue”, for example,.
Consider also anise hyssop
(Agastache), origanum and sea
holly (Eryngium), which need little
water once established.
South African plants love heat
and light, tolerate some drought
and thrive in sheltered gardens;
Berkheya purpurea, with purple

Seed-raised dahlias can
replace casualties of this
winter’s severe frosts

flowers and spiky foliage, and red
hot pokers (Kniphofia) with fierycoloured flower spikes are both
very willing from seed.
Very severe frosts this winter
have also caused gaps in borders.
Plants that often survive
reasonably well in the south such
as agapanthus and penstemon look
deeply unpromising at present.
Happily, these grow well from
seed. Agapanthus “Headbourne

Hybrids”, in characteristic blue,
are widely sold.
Other plants hit hard by
frost include chrysanthemums,
rosemary and salvia. These
are available in seed – Korean
chrysanthemums are particularly
charming, while salvias from seed
include Salvia patens “Blue Angel”
and Salvia transylvanica.
This might be the year that
dahlias left in the ground don’t

make it, but again seed-raised ones
can replace casualties. Try Dahlia
variabilis “Bishop’s Children”.
Single-flowered dahlias are very
attractive to bees, not least as they
flower in late summer, when native
flowers are largely over.
Supporting biodiversity by
reorienting borders to particularly
pollinator-friendly plants can also
be economically accomplished
by seed. Try achillea (left),
aquilegia, Aubrieta, Nepeta cataria
(catnip), sea kale (Crambe) and
especially daisy flowers – Echinacea
purpurea, cardoons, Coreopsis and
Rudbeckia fulgida “Goldsturm”.
Pollinators are not the only
insects, and native plants that feed
larvae are also important. Succisa
pratensis or devil’s-bit scabious and
betony (Betonica officinalis) are wild
flowers that look well in borders.
@GuyBarter
The RHS is a charity inspiring
everyone to grow via its research,
advisory, outreach, shows and
gardens. For more information,
visit: rhs.org.uk

i

i travel

For all the latest travel news and advice, see inews.co.uk/travel
Do you have a question about travel? Send them to us asktravel@inews.co.uk

71

itravel
Cracking Easter getaways, for less
Seven destinations nobody else is thinking of – from the national parks of
Montenegro to Portugal’s wild Vicentina coast. By Sophie Lam

A

lthough Easter is just
three weeks away, those
who haven’t booked a
break haven’t necessarily
left it too late, with flight
and train fares as well as
accommodation still reasonably priced
in destinations that are experiencing
lower demand.
That doesn’t mean to say you need to
set the bar low, or look at destinations you
might consider unsuitable. For example,
summer staple Mallorca can be considerably cheaper in April than in June, July
and August. The Met Office gives an
average daily maximum temperature of
20.4°C on the island in April, although the
chance of rain is higher than in June (but
still considerably lower than in autumn).
Vintage Travel, which specialises in
villa rentals with private pools in key
Mediterranean destinations, points out
that rentals in Mallorca are “great value”
over Easter, costing on average between
£700 and £1,000 a week, which can double in June. Its one-bedroom Ca Na Reieta

near Pollenca costs £595 for a week commencing 1 April, rising to £695 the following week (vintagetravel.co.uk).
Of Skyscanner’s most popular flight
searches over the key Easter period this
year (1-16 April), Palma only just scrapes
into the top 20, while Ibiza comes in 27th.
Airlines such as easyJet and Wizz Air
currently have returns from London to
Palma from around £150pp in the first
week of April, while fares to Ibiza can be
as low as £100 on easyJet and Ryanair.
Search-comparison site Kayak highlights Ibiza as one of the best-value destinations for Easter, with average return
flights costing £116. Its new deals page
(kayak.co.uk/c/flightdeals) guides users
to the cheapest fares for their chosen
destination – such as one-way fares to
Palma for £14 on 14 April.
Looking further down Skyscanner’s
list of popular Easter searches, some
interesting destinations pop up, such as
Lisbon, Copenhagen and Marrakech.
Skyscanner spokeswoman Naomi
Hahn told i: “A flexible mindset has been

key for those looking to get away over
the past three years, and this has meant
many travellers have discovered destinations they wouldn’t have previously considered. The year looks set to be a year
of new discoveries as emerging, pocketfriendly destinations come to the fore.”
This might mean swapping Andalucia
for Galicia, with flights to Santiago de
Compostela almost 40 per cent cheaper in
the first week of April, or looking at even
less obvious destinations. We’ve analysed
the data and spoken to experts to highlight
seven of the most cost-effective last-minute breaks to consider this Easter.

NETHERLANDS

The Rota Vicentina is a network of hiking trails in the rugged
Costa Vicentina (top); Ca Na Reieta, Mallorca (above) GETTY

London to Amsterdam is one of the busiest – and therefore pricey – flight routes.
However, it pays to look further afield.
Ryanair has return flights from Stansted
to Eindhoven from £73pp between 4 and
8 April, while Eurostar has return fares
from London to Rotterdam from
£173 between 9 and 14 April. Return
ferry crossings for a car (two adults

72

life

18 – 19 MARCH 2023

Continued from p71

and two children) from Harwich to Hook
of Holland cost from £252 between 4 and
12 April (stenaline.co.uk).
It is easy to explore this compact country, which is more than a third smaller
than the UK. Rotterdam is well-connected to the rest of the Netherlands by fast
and efficient trains, while being an excellent-value city break destination itself,
and the country’s many holiday parks are
easily reached from both Eindhoven and
Hook of Holland.
Within an hour of Eindhoven, in the
south-east of the country, are several
appealing parks, such as Landal Het
Vennenbos and Landal Domein de Schatberg. The first is set amid forest and
lakes in the Brabant countryside, with
cycling trails, playgrounds and a central
650m2 indoor pool complex. Domein de
Schatberg is close to the borders of Germany and Belgium and encompasses
playgrounds, water sports and indoor
pool with slides and rapids, alongside its
handsome lodges.
Also in the region is Farmcamps BoeBaDoe – a dairy farm with safari-style
tents, pony-riding lessons, farm animals and a playground – and TerSpegelt
Holiday Park, with a heated indoor pool,
woodland walks, bike rides, a gnome
path and the nearby Efteling theme park.
All parks are offered by Little Clogs
Holidays, with a week in a glamping
lodge at TerSpegelt costing from €515
(£454) for up to seven guests from 31
March (little-clogs-holidays.co.uk).

MONTENEGRO

EasyJet Holidays highlights good-value
deals in a handful of Europe’s “up-andcoming city and beach destinations” over
Easter. In Montenegro, a week’s
B&B at the five-star Iberostar
Slavija costs from £592pp including Gatwick flights on 9
April and transfers.
Next door to popular
Croatia, Montenegro is
currently outside the EU
and has a much lower cost
of living than its neighbour,
with prices around a third
cheaper than in the UK. April
temperatures average in the high teens,
making beaches viable, though sea swimming is still on the chillier side.
Its tourist board is also encouraging
visitors to look beyond its sparkling Adriatic coast and visit rural areas such as its
five national parks. Lovcen, for example,
looms large over the Bay of Kotor with
the old royal capital Cetinje clinging to
its forested slopes, while Lake Skadar is
a tranquil haven of wetlands, rare birdlife
and tiny islands.

Spring is the ideal time of year to explore the countryside by bicycle, cycling
past fields of wildflowers and stopping at
rustic restaurants to refuel on iz crepulje,
bread baked in the ashes of a fire. Farm
stays can cost as little as £30 per night for
four (montenegro.travel).

the south. In pretty Arras, Entre Cour
et Jardin, an 18th-century mansion, has
doubles from €115/£101 (sawdays.co.uk).
Spring is also an ideal time to visit the
region’s many theme parks, among them
Parc Astérix, Bagatelle and, of course,
Disneyland Paris. Irish Ferries has a
three-night package including Disneyland tickets, vehicle ferry crossings and
accommodation at Marne la Vallée Noisy
hotel for £225pp from 4-7 April. On the
coast, Berck-sur-Mer hosts a huge kite
festival from 15-23 April (hautsdefrancetourism.com).

MENORCA

Just as comparison sites such as Skyscanner and Kayak and villa rental
companies are pointing towards
lower demand for Mallorca, the
same applies on neighbouring
Ibiza and Menorca.
The most easterly of the
Balearics, Menorca is also
one of the most low-key
islands, with its dozens of
quiet coves and rural hamlets – a contrast to mountainous Mallorca and chi-chi Ibiza
and Formentera. It is also one of
the easiest to explore, either by hire car
or bus, taking little more than an hour to
get from one end to the other.
Jet2 Holidays has packages from
around £450pp commencing 8 April,
from self-catering holidays at Villas
Playas de Fornells with Manchester
flights and a week’s car hire, to an apartment at Carema Beach resort in Cala’n
Bosch on the south-west coast, also
with Manchester flights and transfers
(jet2holidays.com).

PORTUGAL

Tui Blue Xanthe
Resort and Spa
Hotel, Turkey (top);
Efteling theme
park (above);
Flycatcher
treehouse, Stirling
(inset left);
Grmožur fortress
on Lake Skadar,
Montenegro
(below) CEZARE
WHITE, GETTY

TURKEY

Tui is seeing good availability for packages in the Dalaman and Antalya regions,
where temperatures average 22°C in
April – ideal for enjoying the beaches and
coastline, but also for exploring the interior before the scorching heat of summer.
It has a week’s all-inclusive for £495pp
at the Tui Blue Xanthe Resort and Spa
Hotel in Side, Antalya, with Manchester
flights on 11 April, and a week’s all-inclusive at Liberty Hotels Lykia, set against
the emerald waters of Ölüdeniz for
£660pp with Gatwick flights on 10 April.
The Post Office’s recent Holiday
Money Index revealed that Turkish lira is
now more than 180 per cent weaker than
in March 2020, meaning that visitors will
receive £321 more in lira on a £500 transaction compared with three years ago.

HAUTS-DE-FRANCE

North-western France is too often overlooked, packed with gorgeous Opal Coast
beaches, forests, great food and fascinating cities. Calais, for instance, now has a
giant, smoke-breathing dragon you can
ride (compagniedudragon.com) while
Amiens chocolatiers Maison Jean Trogneux is celebrating its 150th anniversary
and is ideal for Easter treats (trogneux.fr).
Dover-Calais ferry crossings cost from
£87 during the Easter holidays with
DFDS; Eurotunnel crossings start at £85.
Hotels in this part of France can be
as much as 50 per cent cheaper than in

The Costa Vicentina is Portugal’s wild,
south-west coast, where the Atlantic
fizzes on to miles of golden sand and hiking trails thread across the clifftops.
Easily accessed from Faro (flights
from around £170 return in the first half
of April), it is also an excellent-value part
of the Algarve and Alentejo, where rustic
hotels can cost as little as £70 a night over
Easter. The Monte das Alpenduradas
has rooms from £53 B&B and is half-anhours’ walk from the fishing village and
beach of Praia Zambujeira do Mar (alpenduradas.com). Also nearby is Kuanza
Farmhouse and Lodge, with safari-style
tents from £150 for four (lodgekuanza.pt).

UK

The demand for domestic breaks soars at
Easter, when much of the UK can arguably look its best. Travel Chapter, which
includes self-catering brands Original
Cottages, Holidaycottages.co.uk, Canine
Cottages and Farm Holidays, is seeing high demand in the usual suspects
– Wales, Devon, Cornwall, the Lake District, Norfolk and the Peak District.
However, better availability include
Northumberland, Scotland and Suffolk.
Rentals in Suffolk cost from around £530
for the first week in April, such as Japonica Cottage in Wenhaston, near seaside
favourites Southwold and Walberswick.
Canopy & Stars’ most popular destination is Devon, followed by Herefordshire. However, there is good availability
in Stirling, where Flycatcher is a stylish
treehouse sleeping up to four overlooking
the River Teith near the Trossachs. Twonight stays over the first two weeks of
Easter cost £620 (canopyandstars.co.uk).

i travel

Do you need a
new passport?

The new passport will arrive by courier or Royal Mail.
How can I order a new passport?
You can apply for a new or passport
renewal online by visiting gov.uk/
apply-renew-passport.
Alternatively, you can pick up passport application forms from most Post
Offices and apply by post or use the Post
Office Check and Send service, which is
an extra £16 (gov.uk/how-the-post-officecheck-and-send-service-works).

With Passport Office strikes looming, you may need
to renew your documents sooner than planned

T

his spring, more than 1,000
UK Passport Office workers
will hold a five-week strike
in a dispute over pay and
working conditions. The
i n d u s t r i a l ac t i o n w i l l
coincide with a peak period for passport
renewals ahead of the May half-term and
school summer holidays.
When is the strike?
The strike will start on Monday 3 April
and run until Friday 5 May.
It will affect Passport Offices in Durham, Glasgow, Liverpool, London, Newport, Peterborough and Southport, and
in Belfast, where the strike will begin on
Friday 7 April.
How long does it take to renew
a passport?
The Government has a 10-week deadline
for processing passport applications.
A report published by the National
Audit Office found that 360,000 people
waited more than 10 weeks to receive

their passport in the first nine months of
2022. However, by the end of September,
the average processing time was 12 days
for staightforward applications.
There are one-week and same-day appointments available for people who urgently need a passport.
The strike action is likely to cause
delays, meaning you should renew your
passport as soon as possible if it is due to
expire ahead of a trip.
Travellers should note that the strike
announcement could also lead to a surge
in applications ahead of the walkout, and
longer wait times.
UK passport-holders travelling to the
EU or Schengen Area should also check
that their passport validity dates meet
the rules for third-country travellers.
The passports should have been issued
less than 10 years before a traveller’s arrival in the EU or Schengen Area, with
an expiry date at least three months from
the date they plan to leave. These rules do
not apply to UK passport holders travelling to the Republic of Ireland.

73

To renew a passport online you
will need…
A digital photo, a credit or debit card and
your existing passport. Passports can be
renewed at any time, regardless of their
expiry date, but unexpired time is no
longer added to new passports.

How much does a passport cost?
Passport fees increased by nine per cent
in February. The cost to renew or replace
a standard passport when applying online is now £82.50 for an adult passport
and £53.50 for a child passport.
For postal applications, it is £93 for an
adult passport and £64 for a child.

Your passport
will need at
least three
months left on
it to enter the
EU or Schengen
Area GETTY

How does the fast-track service work?
The one-week fast-track option can be
used to renew an adult or child passport
that is soon to expire; change personal
details on your passport; replace a lost,
stolen or damaged passport; or apply for
a first child passport.
To use the one-week service, you will
need to get a paper application form
from a Post Office. Book an appointment
online or over the phone, pay a fee, fill in
your application form and gather your
documents before your appointment.
The service costs £155 for an adult
passport or £166 for a 50-page frequent
traveller version; £126 for a child passport or £137 for the 50-page version.

i

i travel

75

W NTER

WEEKEND
Carmarthen
One of Wales’s oldest
towns is home to a Roman
amphitheatre, a tiny pub, the
2022 chef of the year – and
Merlin’s magical influence.
By Izin Akhabau
Why Carmarthen?
Some claim that Carmarthen is
the oldest town in Wales. In 75AD,
the Romans built a fort here and named
it Moridunum. Filled with circuitous
streets and quiet lanes, the town is
still in possession of one of Britain’s
seven surviving amphitheatres. Later
civilisations noted Carmarthen’s strategic
importance, including King William II,
son of William the Conqueror, who built
a castle here (which, after centuries of
rebuilding, is where you’ll find the tourist
information centre and museum).
Connections between Carmarthen
and the legends of Merlin gave the town
its Welsh name: “Caerfyrddin”, meaning
Merlin’s Fort. Sitting on the banks of the
tidal River Tywi, it has a population of
around 16,000 and about 39 per cent of
the community speak Welsh – double the
nation’s average.
Among the town’s attractions are
indoor and outdoor markets (it has been
a market town since the Roman period),
a strong community of local artisans and
independent businesses that include
vintage boutiques and antique stores.
Getting there and around
Carmarthen railway station is
served by Transport for Wales
(tfw.wales). There are direct services to
Cardiff, Crewe, Manchester and Swansea.
Trains to Swansea can take as little as
42 minutes and it is a connecting hub.
Swansea also has direct services to
Manchester and London.
You can reach Carmarthen by car on the
M5, M6, M42 and M50, making it easily
accessible. Once in the town, you can get
around on foot.
Drop your bags
Mansion House Llansteffan is a
seven-minute walk from Morfa Bach
Junction, which itself is a 13-minute bus
ride on the 227 from Carmarthen Bus
Station. This Georgian mansion offers
wide views across Carmarthen Bay and is
surrounded by a five-acre hilltop garden.
Each bedroom is named after a farm in
the local area and has an original design
(think velvet headboards and mosaic
flooring). “Stef” and “Bri” are the most
accessible rooms for those with mobility
issues (with two steps to the porch
entrance). Breakfast is included. Among
the hot options are traditional or vegan
Welsh breakfast, egg dishes and American
pancakes. Rooms from £150 a night,
mansionhousellansteffan.co.uk.
Browse the shops
Oriel King Street Gallery is run by
a collective of around 25 artists,
whose works are free to view and
available to buy. Look out for Donna
Grey’s haunting portraits and Vivienne
Albiston’s sculptures, which celebrate
the diversity of the human form (picture
gigantic fingers and voluptuous bodies).

Also on King Street are Found & Seek,
which, styled on a French brocante, offers
an eclectic range of hand-made items as
well as vintage pieces; gifts emporium
Mooch Etc; and Blasus Deli, where you
can find Welsh food and plenty of cheese.
Alternatively, buy vegan options at
Waverley Stores on Lammas Street.
Drop by the indoor market. Open
six days a week, it has arts and crafts,
jewellery and fresh produce, including
Carmarthen ham. There is an outdoor
market on Wednesdays and Saturdays,
plus a farmers’ market on the first Friday
of each month.
Cosy cafés
Y Sied (ysied.co.uk), in St Catherine’s
Walk, is a cookery school, café and coffee
shop run by television cook Lisa Fearn.
For a hearty lunch (served until 2pm),
try the Welsh ham cawl with homemade
bread. Traditionally, the soup contained
potatoes, meat, plus any vegetables that
were available. The cakes are made on
site, usually by Fearn’s daughter. Look out
for the caramel and vanilla cake. Vegan
and gluten-free alternatives are available.
Tea Traders, on Guildhall Square, stocks
more than 100 loose leaf teas, including
own blends, such as Welsh Breakfast tea.
Rainy day refuge
Carmarthenshire County Museum
is currently exhibiting the work of

The New Curiosity on King Street
(thenewcuriosity.co.uk) ensures a
leisurely meal as the owners, Rachel and
Dan Williams, give guests a table for the
whole evening. Roast dinner, sea bass and
vegan dishes are on offer. Save room for
their seasonal crumble and custard.
Mansion House’s Moryd (mansionhouse
llansteffan.co.uk/moryd-restaurant) has
two AA Rosettes; its signature dishes
include venison loin, roast cauliflower
linguine and vanilla panna cotta.

From top: the town
sits on the banks
of the River Tywi;
dine on awardwinning food
at The Warren;
Llansteffan Castle
VISIT WALES

local artists who have created responses
to Rembrandt’s portrait of his wife, Saskia,
which is also on show. Julia Griffiths
Jones’s reply on porcelain enamel is
especially eye-catching and mimics the
trinkets found in the artist’s home.
Among the thousands of exhibits, one
section covers the county’s links to the
coal industry. The natural resource was
mined on a small scale for centuries,
until the industry expanded in the 1880s.
Tensions between workers and mine
owners had deteriorated by the 1920s,
which led to strikes.
A drink by the fire
Housed in a 19th-century building,
The Plume of Feathers on St Mary
Street is one of the smallest pubs in
Wales, but has plenty of character. Grab a
pint at the tiny bar and admire the rugby
memorabilia on the walls.
Cwrw (“beer” in Welsh) is a small music
venue and pub on King Street that has a
colourful, cosy interior. With a capacity
of just 120, it hosts UK and international
artists from around the world and some
performers sing in Welsh.
Dinner time
At The Warren on Mansel Street
(warrenmanselst.co.uk), head chef
Dan Ionascu was named Chef of the
Year at the Food Awards Wales 2022.
His succulent lamb chops come with
unexpected (but delicious) pickled carrot.
Don’t miss the sticky toffee pudding.

Winter walks
At Llansteffan beach, coastal walks
range from two to five miles. For a
less rigorous option, from the beach car
park head to St Anthony’s Well. Hidden
behind a nondescript door, the natural
spring is said to have healing properties.
Llansteffan Castle has a dramatic
outlook, and climbing the spindly tower
staircase offers an even better view of the
secluded, sandy Scott’s Bay.
For more information, go to
Cwtch up in Carmarthenshire
discovercarmarthenshire.com/explore/
cwtch-up-in-carmarthenshire.

Carmarthen

THREE
THINGS YOU
MIGHT NOT
KNOW ABOUT
CARMARTHEN

1) Geoffrey of Monmouth’s writing
popularised the legends of King
Arthur and the wizard Merlin and,
in his manuscripts, Carmarthen was
Merlin’s birthplace.
2) An oak tree known as Merlin’s Oak
was planted in the town in 1659. In
the 19th century, a local poisoned
it to prevent meetings under its
branches; its last fragments are
displayed in Carmarthen Civic Hall.
3) During the 1839 Rebecca Riots,
men disguised themselves as
women to attack tollgates they
deemed unfair.

i

i

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

business@inews.co.uk

money
SPACE
UK and Japan to
boost co-operation
Britain and Japan have agreed
to co-operate in space, the latest
move in a deepening of defence
ties between the two countries
which are building a new fighter
jet together. The UK said it signed
an arrangement with Japan
on future space co-operation
including sharing information,
collaborative training and
personnel exchanges.

FRAUD
SFO gets £6m from
money launderer
The Serious Fraud Office
confiscated more than £6m from
a former Petrobras employee
said to be linked to a Brazilian
corruption scandal involving the
state-run oil firm. It said $7.7m
(£6.3m) was recovered from
convicted money launderer,
Mario Ildeu de Miranda, 71,
who laundered the funds using
different company names.

RETAIL
Aldi raises store
workers’ pay again
Discount supermarket Aldi has
increased its workers’ pay for
the third time in 12 months. The
supermarket group will increase
starting pay to £11.40 an hour
nationally and to £12.85 in Greater
London from July. Aldi said the
latest pay increase for its 28,000
employees was in recognition of
cost of living pressures as well as
labour shortages.

CHINA
Deloitte fined for
Huarong lapses
China has fined auditing firm
Deloitte ¥211.9m (£25.3m) for
failing to perform its duty in
assessing the asset quality
of China Huarong Asset
Management Co, finance offcials
said. Deloitte’s Beijing operations
are suspended for three months.
The financial corporation was
fined for internal governance
lapses, risk control failures and
severe inaccuracy of accounting.

79

business

PERSONAL FINANCE

Behind the scenes: what the
Budget really means for you
Can’t figure out if your energy bills are going up or if you’ll be eligible
for free childcare? Paul Lewis talks you through Jeremy Hunt’s plans

F

rom extended energy support to a scrapping of the
pension lifetime allowance, this week’s Budget
set out a range of new
measures – with a few interesting
surprises thrown in. But what didn’t
Jeremy Hunt tell you? Paul Lewis
has gone through the fine print to
find out.

that much through raising the basic
rate of income tax it would need to
increase from 20p to 24p. But he
avoided that shock announcement.
More tax from savers

The £1,000 savings allowance has
also been frozen. That’s the amount
of interest you can earn before paying income tax. Two years ago you
would have needed over £150,000 in
a best buy one-year savings account
to earn enough interest for tax to be
due. Today’s higher interest rates
mean you would need just over
£23,000. So millions of savers will
find that they have to pay income
tax on their savings interest. And
the amount you can protect from
tax in an Isa has also been frozen
again at £20,000 a year, an amount
unchanged since 2017/18.

Subsidy boost for bigger pensions

Tax relief on pensions costs an eyewatering £27bn a year and most of
that goes to people who pay higher
or top rate tax. Now the Chancellor will spend another £1bn a year
helping them put even more into
their pensions.
From April he will let you bung
£60,000 a year into a pension pot.
The current annual limit is £40,000
and there is also a lifetime limit of
just over £1m – which is being completely abolished. For context, my
rough calculation is that someone
on the National Living Wage who
paid into an auto-enrolment pension would be lucky to have £60,000
in their pot after 30 years, never
mind one year.
To bung £60,000 into your pension pot, your income must be at
least £60,000 in 2023/24. You must
also find the money to make that contribution. The higher your income,
the less that will cost you. Basic rate
taxpayers need to find £48,000 and
the ever generous (to some) Jeremy
Hunt will bung in £12,000 tax relief
to make up the £60,000.
Higher rate taxpayers can then
reclaim another £12,000 tax relief.
So to get £60,000 in their pension
pot will cost them just £36,000.
And top rate taxpayers can reclaim
£15,000 meaning they only need
spend £33,000 to get £60,000 in
their pension – a massive £27,000
subsidy from other taxpayers. Then,
if they are aged 55 or over, they can
immediately take out a quarter of
that £60,000 free of tax. Win-winwin – if you can afford it.
Fuel bills to rise

The Government is spending nearly
£3bn to keep your energy bills down
from April. But you probably won’t
notice. Because average bills will actually rise by £67 a month to £2,500
a year – roughly double what they

Free childcare for unborn children

Jeremy Hunt’s childcare
plan will only benefit
children who are yet to
be conceived GETTY

were in winter 2021. That is because
the £400 payment from the Energy
Bill Support Scheme which cut
them by £67 a month for six months
ends on 31 March and is not being
replaced. So at the moment your
average annual bill is around £2,100.
But from 1 April it will be £2,500 – a
rise of nearly a fifth.
Income tax up

In every Budget I can remember
there has been some announcement about income tax – normally
a change from April. Not this year.
The only mention of income tax was
to say how marvellous it was that
“people in our country can earn
£1,000 a month without paying a
penny of tax”.
The Chancellor failed to mention
his policy to freeze that personal
tax allowance at £12,570 not just
this year and next year, but every
year until 2027/28. The result is that

from April basic rate taxpayers will
be paying £340 a year more in tax
than if it had risen with inflation – as
it should have done – to £14,270.
The independent Office for
Budget Responsibility revealed on
Wednesday that this six-year freeze
will mean another 3,200,000 people
on low incomes will start to pay income tax for the first time as wage
and pension rises push their income
above the frozen allowance.
The freeze will cost higher rate
taxpayers even more. The 40 per
cent rate of tax begins (outside
Scotland) at £50,270. From April
that should have reached £57,170
but it too is frozen – so higher rate
taxpayers will pay £1,720 extra tax
in 2023/24. The six-year freeze will
mean 2.1 million people will pay
higher rate tax for the first time.
Overall, taxpayers will be sending
the Chancellor £110bn extra over
the six years to 2027/28. To bring in

Nearly seven million working-age
people do not work and are not
looking for work. The Chancellor
calls them “economically inactive”
though in fact many are performing unpaid roles, such as caring for
older people or children, which are
very important for the economy.
The Chancellor wants to help
some back to work by extending
free childcare to working parents
with a child aged from nine months
to two years old. Currently parents
in England only get that free childcare once a child is three. But the extension will not be fully in place until
September 2025. So it will only help
parents of children who have not yet
been conceived.
Work or lose your benefits

People on universal credit who are
looking for work can have their universal credit cut or taken away altogether if their efforts in finding a job
are deemed not good enough. This
sanctions regime applies to around
two million people and the number
sanctioned in any month has doubled to around one in 15. But the
Chancellor wants to go further and
apply sanctions “more rigorously to
those who fail to meet strict worksearch requirements”. And if they
earn less than £189 a week they will
have to earn more or suffer “a more
intensive conditionality regime”.
Also known as a big stick.

Easy ways to save for your child’s future p80 l Best savings deals p81 l Money watch p83

80

MONEY

PERSONAL FINANCE

Simple ways to save for
your child’s future without
leaving yourself short
Putting away a little bit of money can benefit kids a lot
by the time they reach adulthood. By Eve McGowan

H

ow do you provide for
your children’s future
when you have very
little spare cash? For
many, putting money
aside for their kids has had to take
a back seat – one in five parents of
children under 18 have either reduced or halted saving since the cost
of living crisis.
Those who do save are not always
opting for the most lucrative options, according to research based
on a Janus Henderson Investment
Trusts survey of more than 1,200
parents. It found 39 per cent opted
for physical cash and 48 per cent in
low-interest savings accounts.
And while risk is a word you often
don’t want connected to your kids,
much less so their money, this is

what financial advisers suggest you
should do with your child’s savings,
assuming you have a long time before they need the money.
Our guide shows you how
to make your savings
work hard for your children’s future, even if
you can only afford to
set aside a small sum
each month.
Open a Junior Isa

Investment returns on
Junior Individual Savings
Accounts (Jisas) are tax free,
making them a great way to save for
your child’s future. They have an annual limit of £9,000.
“The best part of £1bn was paid
into Jisas in 2019/20 (£971m), so a

huge number of parents – and their
wider families – are finding a way to
give their children a great head start
in life,” says Coles. She suggests
setting up a standing order
to come out of your account on pay day – you
can invest as little as
£25 a month in a Jisa –
to build up a nest egg
before really noticing
the money going in to
your account.
If you could manage
to increase this sum to
£55.50 a month, you’d end
up with a pot of £18,000 by the time
your child hits adulthood.
“Some months you might have
a bit more to put away, and others you might have a little less. But

starting early, and regularly putting
some money aside is a great place to
start,” says Emma-Lou Montgomery
(inset), associate director for Personal Investing at Fidelity International.
Invest in the stock market

Pairing risk with anything to do with
children seems like a counter intuitive combination – nobody wants to
be reckless when their offspring’s
precious nest egg is at stake.
However, if your children are still
little then time is on your side – any
money you put aside now will be
able to ride out the ups and downs of
the stock market. A general rule of
thumb is that if you’re investing for
more than five years, stock markets
will usually rise.
Of all the money paid into Jisas in
2019/20, 61 per cent of it went into
cash but Coles believes a stocks and
shares Jisa is likely to deliver a better return over the long term.
“There are some cases where
cash makes sense, such as when the
child is an older teenager, or where
the money is needed for something
very specific at a specific time, and
this is the only money that will ever
be available for it. If you don’t fit into
either category, when you’re putting
aside money for the long term of up
to 18 years, you really should consider investments,” she says.
Ask the grandparents

Coles points out that you don’t have
to save alone. The Bank of Gran and
Grandad are helping out more than

Grandparents often
like to help children
reach their savings
targets if they are in
the position to GETTY

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

SPORT
90-104

81

The I paper chart_Layout 1 16/03/2023 12:08 Page 1

If you fear your kids will be too
feckless at 18, then saving for them
using your own personal Isa allowance and transferring the cash further down the line for tuition fees or
a deposit on a first home may seem a
more palatable alternative.
Start a pension for your child

You can start saving into a Junior
Sipp (self-invested personal pension) as soon as your child or grandchild is born. Each child can have
a total of £3,600 a year, or £300 a
month, saved into a pension.
Just as with your pension, the
Government automatically tops up
payments by 20 per cent, so for your
child to have the maximum £3,600,
total annual contributions only need
to come to £2,880.
“Of course, it’s pretty much inevitable that tax rules and reliefs
will change between now and your
child’s retirement, and you have to
factor in inflation, which will erode
the spending power of any money
built up in the pension, but you cannot doubt that this is the ultimate
way to make sure your child has the
makings of a secure financial future,” says Montgomery.
Other options

ever, with research showing one in
five grandparents are now financially supporting two generations of
their family.
“A lot of Jisas are paid into by
more than one adult. Grandparents
are often keen to do something for
their grandchildren, so they might
pitch in with regular payments. If
they’re not up for making monthly
payments, they might be happy to
pay money in for things like birthday
and Christmas presents,” she says.
Talk to your kids about finances

It’s worth bearing in mind that any
money paid in to a Jisa becomes the
child’s once they turn 18. As they get
older, engaging children with their
Isa can help build up their understanding before they take responsibility for it, especially if you’ve
decided to invest.
“Show them how much has
been paid in, and how their Isa has

A lot of Jisas are paid
into by more than one adult.
Grandparents might pitch
in with regular payments
grown,” says Rajan Lakhani, money
expert at money app Plum.
He recommends talking to children about stocks they might be familiar with, such as shares in digital
subscription providers they use (e.g.
Disney+ or Netflix) or supermarkets
that you regularly visit with them to
help them learn. Get them to suggest
companies they’d like to invest in,
then research which might be worthy of their investment.
“You could also talk to them
about how you choose the funds for
their Isa, what causes are important to them and how these investments might have a positive impact
on the environment or society,”
says Lakhani.

Children can access a Junior Isa at 18 – so talk to them about money early GETTY

If you’ve already used up your Junior
Isa allowance or you’d like more control over your child’s cash, investing
in a bare trust will allow you to save
in their name with a parent or grandparent as the trustee.
These accounts can be accessed
before they turn 18 for school fees for
instance, or continue beyond 18, and
unlike Jisas there is no limit to the
amount you can save in them. While
the investment return is taxed, you
can use their annual income tax and
capital gains tax allowances.
Premium Bonds through National
Savings & Investments are another
popular investment option. You can
buy any whole-pound amount of
bonds between £25 and £50,000 in
your child’s name, and every month
each £1 bond is entered into a cash
prize draw.
There’s an app for that

In this digital age there’s a plethora
of apps and tech solutions to keep
your saving on track.
The Plum app sets aside small
amounts automatically each week,
calculating what you can afford from
income and outgoings, without you
having to work it out for yourself.
“You can set the app up with different ‘pockets’ with goals and
adjust how the savings are split between them, meaning you can save
smaller amounts in pockets with a
longer outlook,” explains Lakhani.
Meanwhile, the True Potential app
from the Newcastle-based wealth
management company of the same
name allows users to set a financial
goal – such as saving enough for
their child’s tuition fees by the time
they turn 18 – and then regularly review investments against this, while
quickly topping-up on their smartphone if needed.
“Our impulseSave technology on
our True Potential app allows savers
to invest from as little as £1 into their
investments,” says the firm’s chief
executive, Daniel Harrison.
“With a Junior Isa you could put in
however much you can afford each
week, whether it be £1 or £20, and
this could build into a significant pot
for your child by the age of 18.”

Provider

Account

Chip

Instant Access by ClearBank None

Notice or Term

Deposit

AER

£1

3.40%

Yorkshire Building Society

Online Rainy Day 2

None

£1

3.35%

HSBC

Online Bonus Saver

None

£1

3.25%

Zopa

Smart Saver

None

£1

3.21%

Ford Money

Flexible Saver

None

£1

3.10%

Provider

Account

Notice or Term

Deposit

AER

Al Rayan Bank (A)

Fixed Term Deposit

18­mth bond

£5,000

4.57% (F)

Al Rayan Bank (A)

Fixed Term Deposit

12­mth bond

£5,000

4.50% (F)

United Trust Bank

UTB 15 Month Bond

15­mth­bond

£5,000

4.35% (F)

OakNorth Bank

Fixed Term Savings

18­mth­bond

£1

4.34% (F)

OakNorth Bank

Fixed Term Savings

15­mth­bond

£1

4.33% (F)

Provider

Account

Notice or Term

Deposit

AER

Tandem Bank

5 Year Fixed Saver

5­yr bond

£1

4.60% (F)

Monument Bank

Fixed Term Deposit

5­yr bond

Isbank

Raisin UK ­ Fixed Deposit 5­yr bond

Isbank

Raisin UK ­ Fixed Deposit 7­yr bond

£1,000

4.50% (F)

Hampshire Trust Bank

5 Year Bond (28)

£1

4.45% (F)

5­yr bond

£25,000

4.51% (F)

£1,000

4.50% (F)

Provider

Account

Notice or Term

Deposit

AER

Furness BS

45 Day Notice Cash ISA

45 Day

£1,000

3.30%

Mansfield BS

Notice ISA (2nd Issue)

180 Day

£1

3.25%

Shawbrook Bank

Easy Access ISA ­ 23

None

£1,000

3.17%

Principality BS

Online ISA

None

£1

3.10% (B)

Paragon Bank

Triple Access ISA ­ 12

None

£1

3.10%

Provider

Account

Min Funding (pm) Account fee Reward

Halifax

Reward Current

£1,500

Nil

£5.00pm (C)

TSB

Spend & Save Plus

None

Nil

£5.00pm

Nationwide BS

FlexDirect

£1,000

Nil

5.00% (B)

Kroo Bank Ltd

Current Account

None

Nil

3.03%

Virgin Money

M Plus Account

None

Nil

2.02%

(A) = Provider operates under Islamic nance principles, rate shown is expected prot rate.
(B) = Introductory rate for a limited period. (C) = Paid net of income tax. (F) = Fixed rate.
All rates are shown as AER variable unless otherwise stated. Methods of opening and operating accounts will vary.
Current account interest rates paid up to a specied level, terms may apply to qualify for rates shown.

Provider

Rate

Period

Max LTV

Cumberland BS

4.29%

to 1.6.25

60%

£999

Furness BS

5.28%

for 2 years

90%

­

HSBC

4.34%

to 30.6.26

75%

£999

first direct

3.99%

for 5 years

60%

£490

TSB

4.69%

to 30.6.28

90%

­

Provider

Rate

Period

Max LTV

Fee

rst direct

5.94%

for term

75%

£490

rst direct

6.09%

for term

75%

­

rst direct

6.39%

for term

80%

£490

rst direct

6.54%

for term

80%

­

rst direct

6.79%

for term

90%

£490

ArrEAR

UnarrEAR

Fee

0% overdraft
limit

Provider

Account

Starling Bank

Current Account

15.0%

0.0%

Nil

rst direct

1st Account

39.9%

39.9%

£250

Virgin Money

M Plus Account

19.9%

19.9%

Nil

Lloyds Bank

Club Lloyds

27.5%

0.0%

£50

TSB

Spend & Save Plus

39.9%

39.9%

£100

Provider

Card Type

Rate PM

APR

Bank of Scotland

Credit Card Mastercard

0.869%

10.9%

Halifax

Credit Card Mastercard

0.869%

10.9%

­

Tesco Bank

Low APR Credit Card MC

0.869%

10.9%

£5,000

NatWest

Credit Card Mastercard

1.016%

12.9%

£10,000

Royal Bank of Scotland

Credit Card Mastercard

1.016%

12.9%

£10,000

Min income
­

All borrowing rates and availability of products are subject to individual credit ratings.
All rates and terms subject to change without notice and should be checked before finalising any arrangement.
This information is provided by Moneyfactscompare.co.uk on 8.00am 16th March 2023 in good faith.
For full details visit Moneyfactscompare.co.uk. Neither Moneyfacts nor can be responsible for its accuracy.
No liability can be accepted for any direct or consequential loss arising from use of, or reliance upon, this
information. Readers who are not finance professionals should seek expert advice.

82 BUSINESS

ECONOMY

TELECOMS

UK GDP among
weakest of
G20 nations

Regulator delays
decision on BT
fibre pricing

By David Connett

The UK’s economy is expected to
be worst performing out of any
Group of 20 (G20) economies
apart from Russia this year, according to a study by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation
and Development (OECD).
Inflation, the energy crisis
and low productivity will all
slow its recovery, the Parisbased organisation said in its
half-yearly analysis.
UK gross domestic product
(GDP) is forecast by the OECD to
fall 0.2 per cent this year, leaving
the UK and Russia, which is subject to economic sanctions, as the
only G20 economies to shrink.
The UK’s economy is predicted
to rise by 0.9 per cent next year.
The OECD expects global GDP
to grow by 2.6 per cent this year
and 2.9 in 2024. China will see the
biggest growth (+5.3 per cent)
this year, followed by India (+5
per cent).
OECD secretary general Mathias Cormann said: “We believe
the measures the Government
is taking to address these issues
are going to be very important to
improve the economic outlook for
the United Kingdom moving forward, but there are some particular challenges that are playing out
at the moment.”
The OECD said inflation across
the G20 remained high and urged
countries to “stay the course” and
continue raising interest rates.

By Paul Sandle

Ofcom, the telecoms regulator, needs
more time to consider BT’s wholesale
pricing, it said after concerns were
raised over the company’s boss saying its network expansion will “end
in tears” for some of its competitors.
BT wants to offer discounts to internet service providers such as Sky,
Vodafone and TalkTalk in return for
moving customers to the national
fibre network it is building.
Rivals such as Virgin Media O2 and
alternative fibre providers, known
as altnets, are investing billions of
pounds to build competing networks.
However, Ofcom said that to provide certainty and stability it would
not be appropriate for BT’s Openreach to launch its Equinox 2 pricing
scheme, planned for 1 April, until the
regulator gave final approval.
Openreach said it was important
that Ofcom had time to consider all
feedback fully and fairly and so its
discounted prices would be delayed.
“Our offer is a response to customers who want lower prices and longterm certainty to help them switch,”
it said.
Ofcom previously said it did not
consider the offer from the former
monopoly to be anti-competitive.
It follows comments by BT chief
executive Philip Jansen to the Financial Times that Openreach’s fibre push

will “end in tears for rivals” caused
“significant concern”, Ofcom said.
Ofcom chief Dame Melanie Dawes
said in a letter to Mr Jansen that
the regulator was committed to
network competition.
“Were it to become apparent that
BT is able nonetheless to distort competition in the market, we would not
hesitate to take regulatory action to
address this,” she said.
Mr Jansen said his comments had
been taken out of context.
A BT spokesperson said the company had “always believed that competition is good for customers”.
INCA, the altnets’ representative
body, said Ofcom’s initial evaluation
of Equinox 2 was insufficient.
“They must question why BT is reducing its wholesale charges whilst
increasing the prices that consumers
pay for broadband,” INCA said.
BT’s earlier wholesale pricing,
Equinox, was challenged by altnet
CityFibre, but Ofcom decided not
to intervene.
Virgin Media O2, BT’s
biggest network rival,
has said Equinox 2 needed to be
thoroughly scrutinised to ensure
Openreach was not using its
market power to stop providers
switching to other networks.

St Patrick’s Day smiles in Dublin
St Patrick’s Day Festival organisers
said it was impossible to say how
much it is worth to “Brand Ireland”
but this year’s four-day festival is
bigger than last year – and Dublin’s
economy set to benefit to the tune

CHINA

The
Business
Matrix
The day at
a glance

of €50m (£43.8m), with 500,000
people expected to line the streets –
28 per cent of them tourists.
Last year an estimated 12,000
days of employment were created,
organisers said.

ECONOMY

Banks allowed to
cut cash they hold

Inflation fears are
falling, says Bank

China’s central bank said it would
cut the amount of cash that banks
must hold as reserves for the first
time this year to help keep liquidity
ample and support economic
recovery. Chinese leaders pledged
to step up support for the world’s
second-largest economy, which
is rebounding from a pandemicinduced slump after coronavirus
curbs were lifted in December.

UK inflation fears have fallen, a
Bank of England survey found.
Britons’ average expectation of
inflation was 3.9 per cent for the
coming year, the lowest since late
2021. Expectations for the following
12 months fell to 3 per cent from 3.4
per cent. Dissatisfaction with the
Bank’s handling of inflation also fell.
It meets on Thursday to determine
whether to increase rates.

TECHNOLOGY

TRANSPORT

ENERGY

BANKING

ECONOMY

Ethical Capital
snaps up Pornhub

VW invests in mines
to cut battery costs

Rolls-Royce given
Moon base funds

Staley faces quiz on Turkey counts huge
Epstein relationship cost of earthquake

The company that owns
pornographic video-streaming
site Pornhub is being bought
by Canadian private equity
firm Ethical Capital Partners.
The Ottawa firm is not saying
how much it is paying for
Luxembourg-headquartered,
Montreal-based MindGeek.
Pornhub was the world’s 12th
most visited website last year.

Volkswagen plans to invest in mines
to bring down the cost of battery
cells, meet half of its demand and
sell to third-party customers.
Europe’s biggest car-maker wants
its battery unit PowerCo to be a
global battery supplier, as well as
meet half its own demand, with
plants mostly in Europe and North
America. It said mining capacity
was a bottleneck for raw materials.

Rolls-Royce has received funding
from the UK Space Agency to
develop a nuclear reactor for
a Moon base. The project will
investigate how nuclear power
could support a future base on the
Moon for astronauts. The UK Space
Agency announced £2.9m new
funding for the plan. Rolls-Royce
said it hoped to have a reactor ready
to send to the Moon by 2029.

Jes Staley, the former Barclays
chief executive and ex-JP Morgan
executive, faces questions next
week about his relationship with
Jeffrey Epstein and his knowledge
of his former client’s sex trafficking
operation. JPMorgan accuses
Staley, its former head of private
banking, of concealing information
about Epstein. JP Morgan faces
legal claims it failed to stop Epstein.

The earthquakes in Turkey last
month caused about two trillion
liras (£85.3bn) of damage, the
government said. The official
estimate, higher than the World
Bank figure of $34.2bn (£28.1bn),
said affected areas accounted for
9.8 per cent of the economy and 8.6
per cent of exports in 2022. They
were also responsible for 35 per
cent of Turkey’s textile exports.

NEWS
2-37

UNITED STATES

Biden calls for
more banking
accountability

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

Money watch

TV
54-67

Weekly change

Year high Year low

Apollo gets longer
to mull takeover
US private equity group Apollo
has been given longer to decide
whether to launch a takeover
bid for Scottish engineering
firm John Wood. Apollo had a
deadline of next Wednesday
to declare a “firm intention”
to make an offer but has been
granted an extension to 19 April.
John Wood has already declined
three prior Apollo offers.

Year high

Year low

CHINESE YUAN

1.33

2.76%

¥8.38

1.04

1.88%

8.74

7.51

1.45%

1.24

1.02

SWISS FRANC

EURO

€1.14

1.21

1.54%

CHF1.13

1.08

THE MARKETS THIS WEEK
FTSE 100

Dow*

31,913.74

4.10

Nasdaq*

11,65897

520.08 4.67%

7,600

S&P*

3,925.12

63.53

7,500

Nikkei

27,333.79

810.18 2.88%

7,400

CAC 40

6,925.40

295.27 4.09%

7,300

DAX

14,768.20

659.77

7,700

Tue

Wed

Thu

Fri

Week intraday

412.95 High: 7,752.43
5.33% Low: 7,309.30

7,335. 40

7,800

Mon

Weekly change

FTSE 100

The FTSE 100 finished down by 74.63 pts, or 1.01
per cent, to end at 7,335.40.

Riser in the news

0.01%

1.65%

4.28%

Faller in the news

1,7600.0p, +2.44%

137.75p, -6.07%

The Africa-focused gold miner has
upped its annual dividend payout to
$200m (£164m) after another solid
year of production analysts said.

The telecoms group was forced to
delay its broadband discount plan
after Ofcom said it wanted more time
to examine competition concerns.

THE ECONOMY
£1.06 per kilo
The average price of bananas in the United
Kingdom this week.

UK employment statistics

Employment is estimated at 75.7%, unemployment at
3.7% while ‘inactivity’ was at 21.3% the ONS said.
3%
Inactive men
Employment rate
2%

Employed women

HEALTH

TAKEOVER

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

83

Friday’s FTSE 100
down 1.01% at 7335.4

Weekly change

US DOLLAR

$1.22

Inactive women

A watchdog has warned a
merger between two healthcare
technology specialists would
lead to higher costs and “worse
outcomes for the NHS”. The
Competition and Markets
Authority said the £1.2bn deal
between US firm UnitedHealth
and UK rival EMIS could cut
competition in digital products
for the health service.

MONEY
79-83

The week in numbers

1%
The percentage of the 360 million tonnes of
freight trade with the UK coming by air.

Unemployed women
Unemployed men

Watchdog warns
over tech merger

TRAVEL
71-75

CURRENCIES (relative to sterling)

By David Connett

US President Joe Biden called on
Congress to give regulators greater
power over the banking sector, including imposing higher fines, clawing back funds and barring officials
from failed banks.
“No one is above the law,” Mr Biden
said, “and strengthening accountability is an important deterrent to prevent mismanagement in the future.”
The current law “limits the administration’s authority to hold executives responsible,” he said.
The White House is asking Congress to give the Federal Depository Insurance Corporation (FDIC),
which insures deposits and supervises banks, greater authority to claw
back compensation, “including gains
from share sales from executives at
failed banks like Silicon Valley Bank,”
the White House said later.
The President is also asking Congress to give the FDIC more authority to ban bank executives from the
industry when their banks go into receivership, and fine bank managers
whose banks fail.
His call came as the Silicon Valley
Bank’s former parent company filed
for bankruptcy protection a week
after a run on deposits prompted
regulators to seize its banking unit.
SVB Financial Group listed assets
and liabilities of as much as $10bn
(£8.2bn) each in a Chapter 11 petition filed in New York to protect its
remaining assets and work on repaying creditors. The bank was placed in
receivership by the FDIC.

OPINION
25-30

ONS

May to Jul
2020

May to Jul
2021

1%
0%
-1%
-2%
Employed men
-3%
May to Jul
2022

2,400
The number of patients per fully qualified GP
in England.
2.8 gigawatts
The increase in UK wind turbine capacity in the
year between September 2021-22.

-4%

GOOD WEEK

BAD WEEK
▼ DAME
SHARON
WHITE

▲ NUSRAT

▲ HARRIET

▲ BARONESS

The business
minister could
unveil positive
FTSE 100
Board diversity
figures

The chair of the
Treasury Select
Committee
chased ministers
and regulators
this week

The Financial
Ombudsman
chair is cutting
its complaints
logjam

GHANI

BALDWIN

ZAHIDA
MANZOOR

SUPER STAT

139,000
tonnes

This week’s changes

SOURCE: ONS, GOV.CO.UK *VALUE AT 6PM FRIDAY

The boss of Meta
announced
yet more job
losses – 10,000
in fact

▼ MIKE LYNCH
The former
Autonomy boss
was back in
court fighting
extradition to
the US on alleged
fraud charges

SHOCK STAT

UK coal production between
July and September last year,
which is a new record low.

KEY COMMODITIES

The John Lewis
leader presided
over widening
losses and no
staff bonuses

▼ MARK
ZUCKERBERG

£394m
£ £ £

Oil 73.02 $/barrel -9.30

The sum yet to be claimed in
the matured child trust funds
of young adults who reached
18 between September 2020
and 5 April 2021.

Company		Price		Chg %		High		 Low
3i Group
abrdn
Admiral
Airtel Africa
Anglo Amer
Antofagasta
AB Foods
Ashtead Group
AstraZeneca
Auto Trader Group
Aviva
BAE Systems
Barclays
Barratt Dev
BAT
Beazley
Berkeley Grp Hldgs
B&MEurValRtl
BP
British Land
BT
Bunzl
Burberry
Centrica
Coca-Cola HBC
Compass
Convatec
CRH
Croda Intl
DCC
Diageo
Endeavour Mining
Entain
Experian
F&C Inv Trust
Flutter Entrtmt
Frasers Group
Fresnillo
Glencore
GSK
Haleon
Halma
Hargrve Lans
Hiscox
HSBC Hldgs
IAG
Imperial Brands
Informa
IntCont Htls
Intertek
JD Sports Fashion
Johnson Matthey
Kingfisher
Land Secs
Legal & Gen
Lloyds Bk Gp
Lon Stock Ex
M&G
Melrose Ind
Mondi
National Grid
NatWest Group
Next
Ocado Group
Pearson
Pershing Square
Persimmon
Phoenix
Prudential
Reckitt Ben
RELX
Rentokil Initial
Rightmove
Rio Tinto
Rolls-Royce
RS Group
Sage
Sainsbury(J)
Schroders
Scot Mort Inv Tst
Segro
Severn Trent
Shell
Smith&Neph
Smith (DS)
Smiths Gp
Smurfit Kappa Grp
Spirax-Sarco Eng
SSE
Stan Chart
St. James’s Place
Taylor Wimpey
Tesco
Unilever
Unite Group
United Utilities
Vodafone
Weir Group
Whitbread
WPP

1482.5
199.3
1914.5
107.6
2504.0
1444.0
1901.5
4866.0
10814.0
587.0
402.2
905.6
139.6
432.6
2948.5
519.5
3990.0
458.0
479.9
391.4
137.8
2975.0
2267.0
101.2
2118.0
1941.0
228.4
3945.5
6340.0
4290.0
3475.0
1760.0
1207.5
2647.0
910.0
13625.0
721.5
710.0
432.6
1400.8
315.4
2067.0
767.8
1042.0
542.1
133.3
1884.5
672.2
5244.0
3976.0
162.3
1944.5
269.7
602.2
226.6
46.2
7470.0
177.8
147.3
1266.0
1039.0
258.0
6578.0
416.1
837.6
2765.0
1211.0
559.0
1008.0
5810.0
2530.0
546.8
545.6
5250.0
140.3
893.5
733.6
249.2
441.0
671.2
737.6
2813.0
2214.0
1169.5
302.5
1675.0
2827.0
11100.0
1698.0
634.0
1141.0
113.9
246.9
4047.5
916.5
1044.0
90.4
1712.5
2804.0
916.0

-2.40%
-5.54%
-2.05%
-2.27%
+1.01%
-0.69%
-2.46%
-1.48%
+0.15%
-0.44%
-3.08%
-1.22%
-1.98%
-1.46%
-0.67%
-2.72%
-1.36%
-2.55%
-0.52%
-2.13%
-6.07%
-0.87%
-0.79%
-2.41%
-0.66%
+0.75%
-0.44%
-1.40%
-1.31%
+0.05%
-1.68%
+2.44%
-0.49%
-0.23%
-0.87%
-1.48%
-1.30%
+1.75%
+2.23%
+0.99%
-2.20%
-1.15%
-2.79%
-4.84%
-2.87%
-2.39%
+1.18%
-0.88%
-2.02%
-1.09%
-2.64%
-1.24%
-2.67%
-2.21%
-3.33%
-2.56%
+1.97%
-2.12%
-3.19%
-2.77%
-1.80%
-1.38%
-2.58%
-4.48%
-0.05%
-0.54%
-2.89%
-1.93%
-3.95%
-1.22%
-0.51%
-1.23%
-0.76%
-0.59%
-4.10%
-1.87%
-2.60%
-2.08%
-2.20%
-1.61%
-2.33%
-1.30%
+0.23%
-0.43%
-1.69%
-1.03%
-3.52%
-0.76%
-2.13%
-2.52%
-2.98%
-1.89%
-2.02%
-0.97%
-1.93%
-1.97%
-2.48%
-1.69%
-2.33%
-2.51%

1685.0
237.0
2648.0
173.1
4292.5
1837.5
2076.0
6012.0
11886.0
684.4
606.6
944.1
198.9
576.6
3645.0
735.8
4505.0
588.5
570.6
546.8
196.6
3249.0
2606.0
108.1
2194.0
1970.9
267.8
4412.0
8082.1
6508.0
4067.0
2176.0
1725.0
3160.0
992.0
14345.0
1001.7
996.8
584.5
3408.2
337.9
2598.0
1076.5
1152.5
653.8
173.6
2185.0
707.6
5796.0
5368.0
213.1
2536.0
298.4
812.8
311.1
54.3
8612.0
229.9
169.2
1719.0
1271.5
313.1
7082.0
1249.5
1006.3
3115.0
2332.0
690.4
1381.5
6824.0
2580.0
565.4
679.6
6406.0
160.0
1169.0
823.0
272.2
544.7
1081.8
1408.0
3228.0
2613.5
1338.5
369.1
1807.0
3798.6
13140.0
1935.5
799.4
1520.0
146.7
307.2
4868.6
1209.0
1186.9
132.3
2072.0
3651.9
1095.5

1042.0
131.0
1691.5
105.6
2437.5
971.2
1223.0
3269.0
9275.0
479.8
341.9
683.6
132.1
313.0
2893.0
385.4
3120.0
289.0
359.0
317.8
110.5
2542.0
1473.5
65.8
1496.0
1568.8
190.9
2736.5
5862.0
3986.0
3363.0
1435.0
994.6
2242.0
769.0
7340.0
573.6
637.2
395.4
1280.9
241.2
1855.3
735.6
789.2
434.7
90.5
1553.0
498.8
4174.0
3485.0
88.4
1755.0
198.6
459.3
201.4
38.5
6710.0
159.3
94.8
1265.0
844.3
210.9
4306.0
380.3
680.0
2295.0
1113.5
501.0
782.4
5400.0
2064.0
441.2
437.8
4424.5
64.4
790.0
587.2
168.7
348.0
657.7
669.2
2167.4
1897.8
959.2
238.1
1352.5
2415.0
9008.0
1405.0
478.6
904.6
80.6
194.3
3351.7
773.0
813.2
83.2
1312.0
2245.5
713.0

Gold 1,963.70 $/oz +104.95
For enquiries call +44 (0)20 7825 8300

i

i

i

89

Today’s Weather

Today’s high

Temp

Rain

Sun

(Midday yesterday) (mm)

Aberdeen
Aberporth
Aberystwyth
Aviemore
Belfast
Birmingham
Bournemouth
Bridlington
Bristol
Cardiff
Cromer
Durham
Eastbourne
Edinburgh
Eskdalemuir
Glasgow
Holyhead
Hove
Hull
Huntingdon
Ipswich
Isle of Man
Isle of Wight
Kinlochewe
Kirkwall
Leeds
Lerwick
Leuchars
Lincoln
Liverpool
London
Manchester
Margate
Milford Haven
Morecambe
Newcastle
Norwich
Nottingham
Okehampton
Oxford
Plymouth
Portland
Portsmouth
Prestwick
Rhyl
Sheffield
Shrewsbury
Skegness
Southend
Stoke
Stornoway
Swansea
Tiree

12
12
14
11
12
13
11
13
14
12
13
14
11
12
9
11
11
11
14
13
10
10
10
9
7
13
7
12
13
13
12
14
11
12
12
14
12
13
12
13
12
11
11
12
14
14
13
12
10
12
7
11
10

SH
C
SH
C
SH
SH
F
F
SH
SH
R
SH
SH
F
SH
SH
C
SH
C
SH
SH
R
F
R
C
R
C
SH
C
SH
T
SH
R
SH
SH
SH
SH
C
SH
SH
SH
F
SH
SH
F
C
SH
C
R
SH
DR
SH
C

(hrs)

1.4
1.2
1.1
0.6
14.5
1.0
0.2
0.3
1.3
1.7
2.3
0.1
6.3
0.1
6.8
1.4
0.3
6.3
0.6
0.8
0.0
0.2
3.7
1.6
1.0
0.4
3.4
0.7
0.4
3.7
1.6
1.3
2.4
1.2
0.9
1.6
2.7
0.9
0.7
0.9
0.8
2.4
5.2
0.1
1.0
0.3
1.0
0.2
7.2
1.7
3.2
1.5
1.8

1.6
1.0
0.9
2.9
2.3
2.1
3.4
6.7
2.0
0.6
1.0
6.2
2.5
1.9
0.9
0.1
2.3
2.5
6.4
2.0
1.5
1.8
4.9
0.0
2.3
4.1
4.1
2.4
2.8
4.1
3.0
4.8
1.6
1.2
3.2
5.5
1.0
3.3
0.7
3.1
0.2
5.6
3.0
0.8
4.7
3.3
2.5
3.1
2.0
1.7
0.0
1.2
1.1

Global
City

27
35
19
14
11
33
16
6
11
15
9
7
27
29
10
13
14
1
21
8
23
18
13
15

°C

17

S
S
S
S
SH
F
S
F
S
S
S
SH
TH
S
R
S
S
F
F
R
S
S
C
F

24
13
1
32
11
9
14
19
16
9
-1
30
14
3
14
26
20
14
7
8
10
8
14
21

S
S
C
SH
S
S
S
S
F
S
C
S
S
F
S
S
F
C
F
F
S
S
S
F

Key: C=Cloudy, DR=Drizzle,
F=Fair, FG=Fog, H=Hail, M=Mist, R=Rain,
S=Sunny, SH=Showers, SL=Sleet, SN=Snow,
SS=Sandstorm, TH=Thunderstorm

Wind speed

10

7

Highlands
North East Scotland
Central Scotland
Scottish Borders
Northern Ireland
North West & Mersey
North East
Yorkshire & Humber
North Wales
West Midlands
East Midlands
South Wales
South West
South East
Eastern
Greater London

17

Moderate

Kirkwall

Rough

15 mph

7

Inverness

10

11

Lerwick

15

20

5

Aberdeen

10
9

11

Fort William
13

Dundee
11

5

SUNDAY Mainly dry and
bright with spells of
sunshine however clouds
will build during the day
bringing rain across
western areas later.

Edinburgh

Glasgow

Atlantic
Ocean

12

North
Sea

Dumfries

Derry/Londonderry

17

Newcastle

Carlisle

11

Belfast

9
14

12

York

Galway
11

Liverpool

12

Sheffield

Llandudno

13

Nottingham

11

Norwich
Birmingham

12

13

Cambridge

17

Oxford
Swansea

Celtic
Sea

Cardiff
Bristol

12

Alderney

11

13

London

Reading

13

Channel Islands

Exeter

Southampton

13

Portsmouth

11

Brighton

Plymouth

English Channel

Jersey

5

GENERAL SITUATION An area of
low pressure will slowly track
eastwards during the day across
the United Kingdom bringing a
series of weak weather fronts. It
will be a dull start to the day with
cloudy skies which will break
during the day and brighter spells
will develop. There is also a chance
of showers developing which may
be locally heavy and thundery in
nature. Thick cloud cover and
longer spells of rain across
north-west Scotland.
SE England, London, E Anglia, E
England: A dull start to the day with
cloudy skies and scattered showers
or longer spells of rain during the
morning. Clouds will break to

reveal sunny spells and showers
during the afternoon which may be
locally heavy and thundery in
nature. Gentle to moderate
northerly winds will be locally
brisk. Max temp: 12C. Tonight, clear
spells and dry. Min temp: 5C.
W Isles, NW Scotland, SW Scotland:
A dull and damp start with cloudy
skies and outbreaks of rain which
may be locally heavy. It will
continue to be cloudy during the
day with rain which will gradually
clear from the west. Rain will ease
from most areas during the
evening. Mostly gentle southerly
winds which will be locally strong.
Max temp: 9C. Tonight, chance of
showers. Min temp: 4C.

HIGH

N Ireland, Republic of Ireland: A dull
and damp start with cloudy skies
and outbreaks of rain across
western areas which will spread
eastwards during the day to reach
eastern coastal areas during the
afternoon. A dry evening with
clouds breaking to reveal clear
spells. Gentle to moderate
north-westerly winds will be locally
brisk. Max temp: 14C. Tonight,
clouds will build. Min temp: 2C.
N Isles: A dry but dull start to the
day with cloudy skies. It will
continue to be dull and grey during
the day with thick cloud cover and
outbreaks of rain and showers will
spread in from the south-west
during the afternoon and evening.

A breezy day with brisk easterly
winds which will be locally strong.
Max temp: 9C. Tonight, chance of
showers. Min temp: 4C.
SW England, N Wales, S Wales,
IoM, Cen S England, Channel Is,
Midlands, NW England, NE
England, NE Scotland, SE Scotland:
A dull start to the day with cloudy
skies and a chance of some
showers. Clouds will tend to break
during the day and spells of
sunshine will develop. There is a
continued threat of showers
during the day and some of these
could be heavy. There will be gentle
to moderate south-westerly winds.
Max temp: 14C. Tonight, clear
spells and dry. Min temp: 5C.

SYNOPTIC PRESSURE An area of low pressure will be
centred over the United Kingdom today and will track
eastwards but will be generally weak and will fill. Another
area of low pressure over Scandinavia will fill and slowly
track eastwards. Low pressure out in the Atlantic will slowly
track north-eastwards and will slightly fill.

LOW

1024

14

15

FRANCE

Sark

MONDAY A largely dry but
dull day with cloudy skies
and there is a threat of
some showers or longer
spells of rain which may be
heavy.

14

Cork

5

13

Hull

Manchester

Irish
Sea

Dublin

12

Leeds

5

levels
Air PollutionLowAir(1)pollution
Very high (10)
uk-air.defra.gov.uk
Index

Region

Five-day
outlook

Shetland

Calm
Slight

Temp Cond
(in C)

Miami
Milan
Moscow
Mumbai
Munich
New York
Nice
Palma
Paris
Prague
Reykjavik
Rio
Rome
Stockholm
Strasbourg
Sydney
Tenerife
Tokyo
Toronto
Vancouver
Vienna
Warsaw
Washington
Wellington

06:08 18:09

Orkney

Guernsey

Temp Cond City
(in C)

Abu Dhabi
Abuja
Alicante
Amsterdam
Athens
Bangkok
Barcelona
Beijing
Berlin
Brussels
Budapest
Chicago
Delhi
Dubai
Dublin
Frankfurt
Geneva
Helsinki
Hong Kong
Istanbul
Johannesburg
Lisbon
Los Angeles
Madrid

Sea state

Sunset

12

TUESDAY Clouds will
break during the day to
reveal spells of sunshine,
patchy cloud cover and a
chance of showers
developing. Drier later.
17

13
11

14

11

WEDNESDAY A mainly
dry but dull day with
cloudy skies and outbreaks
of rain will spread into
western areas and may be
heavy at times.
17

Today Tomorrow
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
2
2

3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
2

LOW

1016
1000

1008

Key:

HIGHS AND LOWS
(Yesterday, up to 2pm)

1016

LOW

1008

1024

HIGH

Isobars: air pressure
in millibars
mp_d1d_aiii_00002023

Weather

City

Temperature

Sunrise

Moon Phase

14º 2º

Clouds will break and brighter spells will develop however there is also
a chance of showers. Longer spells of rain across the north-west.

Around Britain

Today’s low

Warm front

1024

HIGH

Cold front

Occluded front

Warmest: Cardiff, Bute
968
Park,
Cardiff, 15C
Coldest:
976 Tain Range, Easter
Ross, 1C
984
1032
Wettest: Dunstaffnage,
Argyll
Bute, 21.6mm
992and1040
Sunniest: Tiree,
Argyll and
1048
Bute, 4.3hrs

HOURS OF DARKNESS
Aberdeen
18.18-06.15
Birmingham
18.16-06.13
Bristol
18.19-06.16
Cardiff
18.21-06.18
Glasgow
18.26-06.22
Hull
18.10-06.07
Inverness
18.25-06.21
Liverpool
18.21-06.17
London
18.09-06.06
Manchester
18.18-06.14
Stornoway
18.35-06.31
Swansea
18.24-06.21
York
18.13-06.10

13
11

14

12

THURSDAY Clouds will
break during the day to
reveal spells of sunshine
but also a chance of some
showers. A mainly dry
evening with clear spells.

Slip

90

iSportsQuiz
FA Cup quarter-finals

1 Who were the two non-Premier League
sides in last year’s quarter-finals?
2 Who were the last team to win a quarterfinal on penalties, beating Millwall in 2019?
3 Which television star is top scorer in this
season’s competition, with eight goals?
4 Which television star scored last time
Blackburn won at Sheffield United, in 1994?
iPaperSport

@iPaperSport

to the Scots’ fortunes. France then
steamroller Wales, before Ireland
waltz to a Grand Slam over England.

MIDDAY SKY SPORTS FOOTBALL

Football Motherwell v Rangers
The last time Motherwell beat
Rangers in the league, manager
Stuart Kettlewell had only just
turned 18. He’ll be 39 in June.

What to watch
from getting up
on Saturday
to bedtime
on Sunday

2PM BT SPORT 2

Cricket Legends League

SATURDAY
9.50AM SKY SPORTS CRICKET

Cricket Indians v Warriorz

May the likes of England’s Nat
Sciver-Brunt and Issy Wong (right)
of the Mumbai Indians absolutely
thrash their WPL opposition today,
just because of the Z at the end of
their name. It’s a cricket competition,
not a 1980s nightclub.

MIDDAY BBC ONE/ITV1

Rugby union Six Nations

Scotland v Italy is first up and the
prevailing mood at Murrayfield will
again be “what if…?” with regards

Answers: 1 Middlesbrough and Nottingham Forest. 2 Brighton. 3 Wrexham’s Paul Mullin. 4 Alan Shearer.
5 Wigan. 6 Ipswich. 7 Tenth in the old First Division. 8 Six. 9 Chelsea. 10 None.

inews.co.uk/sport

Our initial reaction to this payday
for recently retired players is of
­derision. But if Guns and Roses, led
by 61-year-old Axl, can headline
Glastonbury and the Pixies can still
fill arenas a full 35 years after their
first album was released, then why
can’t Monty Panesar twirl a few more
deliveries in Dubai for a bit of extra
pocket money?

5 Which side shocked Manchester City in
their last quarter-final loss, in 2014?
6 Burnley were taken to a replay by which
League One side this season?
7 Grimsby last won a quarter-final in 1939.
Where did they finish in the league that year?
8 How many successive home draws have
Manchester United had in the FA Cup?
9 Fulham last won a quarter-final in 2002 –
before losing to who in the last four?
10 Four previous fourth-tier sides made
the last eight. How many reached the semis?

5.25PM BBC ONE

Football Manchester City v
Burnley

Speaking of woke: Gary Lineker is
back on the box, fresh from his spell
on the naughty step for daring to call
Suella Braverman’s quasi-fascist
choice of language quasi-fascist.
He is here to present this FA Cup
quarter-final tie, which was dripping
with intrigue even before the crisppeddling presenter’s wild 10 days.

SUNDAY

get you into this FA Cup quarterfinal: Jobi McAnuff, a pundit here,
was Wimbledon’s last-ever captain
before they became Milton Keynes.

1.50PM BBC ONE

Football Brighton & Hove
Albion v Grimsby Town

This could get messy. Seagulls
playing host to a crowd from a wellknown fishery town.

3.30PM SKY SPORTS F1

Formula One Saudi Arabia
Grand Prix

11.15AM ITV1

Football Sheffield United v
Blackburn Rovers

Here’s a tenuously related fact to

5PM SKY SPORTS PREMIER LEAGUE

Football Chelsea v Everton

The We-Were-Dreadful-UnderFrank-Lampard derby. You get
the strong impression that there
would not be a lot of common
ground p
­ olitically between Everton
manager Sean Dyche and C
­ helsea’s
Graham Potter. The words “patriot”
and “woke” would feature heavily in
any d
­ iscussion – neither in a good
context.

In case you haven’t made up your
mind about posh insipid electronic
act Clean Bandit, this might swing
it for you. They are playing a gig
after the race. Four years ago they
campaigned in support of Jeremy
Corbyn in the general election.
Now they are trousering Saudi cash
and conspiring to polish up the
image of the oppressive fossil-fuel
regime in exchange for a few bars of
“Symphony”. Doesn’t life move fast?

triumph was the 2002 Intertoto Cup
– and there were three of them so it
doesn’t really count.

5PM SKY SPORTS GOLF

Golf Valspar Championship

It is golf sponsored by a paint
company and it is in Florida. And
that is exciting as it gets.

7.30PM AMAZON PRIME

Tennis Indian Wells

3.45PM ITV1

It is men’s and women’s final day
at Indian Wells, the conservative
Californian conurbation whose
­population of just over 5,000 could
fill less than a third of the main arena.
And it still gets to be called a city.

Football Manchester United v
Fulham

Here’s something that may surprise
you – unless, like Richard Osman
(above) and Hugh Grant, you are a
Cottager. Fulham have never won the
FA Cup. Indeed, their only knockout

@mattbutler503

RESULTS SERVICE
PREMIER LEAGUE
Nottm Forest (1)........ 1
Dennis 26

Newcastle (1)........................2
Isak 45, 90 (pen)
Att 29,362

SKY BET LEAGUE ONE
Sheff Wed (1).................. 1 Bolton (1)..................................1
Gregory 11
Adeboyejo 36
Att 29,230
CINCH SCOTTISH CHAMPIONSHIP
Arbroath (0).................... 1 Morton (1)................................1
Adarkwa 78
Oakley 28

CYCLING

UCI PROSERIES, BREDENE KOKSIJDE CLASSIC, BELGIUM, Final Race Positions (Bredene
- Koksijde, 191.6km): 1 G Thjssen (Bel) Intermarche-Circus-Wanty 4hrs 17mins 44secs, 2
P Ackermann (Ger) UAE Team Emirates, 3 S
Welsford (Aus) Team DSM, 4 L Taminaux (Bel)
Alpecin-Deceuninck, 5 J Mareczko (It) AlpecinDeceuninck, 8 S Flynn (GB) Team DSM, 32 Z
Coleman (GB) VolkerWessels Cycling Team 3,
33 E Vernon (GB) Soudal Quick-Step 3 all at
the same time, 50 D McLay (GB) Team ArkeaSamsic +13s.

FOOTBALL

UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE QUARTER FINAL
DRAW (Games to be played 11-12th April):Real Madrid v Chelsea.............................................................
Inter Milan v Benfica................................................................
Manchester City v Bayern Munich..............................
AC Milan v Napoli........................................................................
UEFA EUROPA LEAGUE QUARTER FINAL
DRAW (Games to be played 13th April):Man Utd v Sevilla.........................................................................
Juventus v Sporting Lisbon................................................
Bayer Laverkusen v Union Saint-Gilloise.............
Feyenoord v Roma.....................................................................
UEFA EUROPA CONFERENCE LEAGUE
QUARTER FINAL DRAW (Games to be played
13th April):Lech Poznan v Fiorentina.....................................................
Gent v West Ham.........................................................................
AZ Alkmaar v Anderlecht.....................................................
Basel v Nice.......................................................................................

GOLF

VALSPAR CHAMPIONSHIP, PALM HARBOR,
FLORIDA, FIRST ROUND (US unless stated,
Par 71): 66 R Brehm; S Jaeger (Ger); A Schenk;
67 L Glover; M McNealy; J Spieth; 68 ByeongHun An (S Kor); T Fleetwood (GB); K Hickok;
P Kizzire; A Smalley; 69 S Burns; S Cink; M. J.
Daffue (SA); D Ghim; B Griffin; A Hadwin (Can);
B Martin; D Riley; J Thomas.

SDC CHAMPIONSHIP, EASTERN CAPE, SOUTH
AFRICA, SECOND ROUND LATEST (Rsa unless
stated, round suspended due to high winds):
136 J Brun (Fr) 69 67; 137 A Venter 70 67; J
Dantorp (Swe) 74 63; M Baldwin 70 67; 139 J
Hugo 72 67; 140 R Ramsay 73 67; R Cabrera
(Sp) 73 67; S Valimaki (Fin) 70 70; A Rozner (Fr)
72 68; 141 J Kamte 71 70; T McKibbin (GB) 76
65; 142 J Ahlers 78 64; Jbe’ Kruger 73 69; T Aiken 72 70; 143 D van Tonder 75 68; D Naidoo 75
68; J van Zyl 74 69; M Bremner 71 72; C. J. Du
Plessis 74 69; K Thomas 79 64; O Bekker 72 71;
G Coetzee 72 71; M Southgate 74 69; A Cockerill (Can) 77 66; R Sciot-Siegrist (Fr) 71 72; 144 S
Norris 74 70; L Brown 75 69; J Prinsloo 72 72; L
Jerling 78 66; B Easton 73 71; L Filippi 73 71; D
Whitnell 73 71; A Sullivan 72 72.
LADIES ARAMCO TEAM SERIES, SINGAPORE,
SECOND ROUND (GB & Irl unless stated): 137
D Kang (US) 69 68; P Bouchard (Fr) 68 69; N
Garcia (SA) 67 70; 139 A van Dam (Neth) 70 69;
L Grant (Swe) 68 71; E Spitz (Aut) 70 69; 140 L
Ko (NZ) 72 68; K Spilkova (Cz Rep) 68 72; B Law
(GB) 70 70; N Broch Estrup (Den) 69 71; C Noja
(Ger) 71 69.

HORSE RACING RESULTS
Cheltenham
Soft-good to soft in places
1.30 1. LOSSIEMOUTH (P Townend) 11-8 fav; 2.

Gala Marceau 10-3; 3. Zenta 12-1. 15 ran. 21/4l,
nk. (W P Mullins (IRE) ). Tote: £2.38; £1.20, £1.30,
£2.70. Exacta: £6.20. Tricast: £38.36. Trifecta:
£46.80. CSF: £5.88.
2.10 1. FAIVOIR (Bridget Andrews) 33-1; 2. Pied
Piper 12-1; 3. Filey Bay 6-1; 4. Sharjah 10-1. 24
ran. 9-2 fav Pembroke (17th). hd, 21/2l, nk. (D Skelton). Tote: £66.40; £10.40, £2.60, £2.20, £2.50.
Exacta: £963.10. Tricast: £2746.97. Trifecta:
£10592.70. CSF: £392.62. NRs: Glan, Magnor
Glory.
2.50 1. STAY AWAY FAY (H Cobden) 18-1; 2. Affordale Fury 150-1; 3. Sandor Clegane 28-1; 4. Letsbeclearaboutit 16-1. 20 ran. 9-4 fav Corbetts
Cross (RanOut). 1l, nk, 33/4l. (P Nicholls). Tote:
£19.00; £7.00, £4.10, £29.00. Exacta: £2820.00.
Tricast: £52244.14. Trifecta: £29605.20. CSF:
£1587.40.
4.10 1. PREMIER MAGIC (Mr B Gibbs) 66-1; 2.
Its On The Line 28-1; 3. Shantou Flyer 50-1; 4.
Rocky’s Howya 11-1. 23 ran. 9-4 fav Vaucelet (7th). 13/4l, 11/4l, 1l. (B Gibbs). Tote: £67.70;
£13.00, £7.00, £12.10. Exacta: £1942.10. Tricast:
£59185.51. Trifecta: £26440.90. CSF: £1352.47.
NR: Not That Fuisse.
4.50 1. IMPERVIOUS (B Hayes) 15-8; 2. Allegorie

De Vassy 13-8 fav; 3. Pink Legend 33-1. 9 ran.
21/2l, 51/2l. (Colm Murphy (IRE) ). Tote: £2.88;
£1.30, £1.70, £3.30. Exacta: £5.30. Tricast: £66.54.
Trifecta: £103.80. CSF: £5.29.
5.30 1. IROKO (A P Kelly) 6-1; 2. No Ordinary Joe
14-1; 3. Buddy One 28-1; 4. Might I 6-1. 21 ran.
5-1 jt-fav Imagine (5th), 5-1 jt-fav Cool Survivor
(15th). 11/2l, ns, 31/4l. (O Greenall & J Guerriero).
Tote: £7.60; £2.50, £3.40, £4.30, £2.40. Exacta:
£104.90. Tricast: £2266.38. Trifecta: £2580.00.
CSF: £79.21. NRs: Grozni, Hey Johnny, Innatendue, Vultan, Wonderwall.
Jackpot: Not won, pool of £130,711.97 carried
over to Uttoxeter.
Placepot: £23,675.10. Quadpot: £2,038.20.
Place 6: £4,767.50. Place 5: £3,352.57.
Doncaster
Good-good to soft in places
1.20 1. HENRY’S FRIEND (K Brogan) 2-1; 2. Moon

Hunter 13-8 fav; 3. Idealdes Villerets 7-4. 8 ran.
31/2l, 43/4l. (B Pauling). Tote: £3.00; £1.10, £1.10,
£1.10. Exacta: £5.40. Trifecta: £7.60. CSF: £6.48.
2.00 1. BIG CHANGES (L Dobb) 4-1; 2. Elleon
2-1 fav; 3. Mance Rayder 28-1. 7 ran. 13/4l, 21/4l.
(L Morgan). Tote: £5.00; £2.20, £1.60. Exacta:
£13.50. Tricast: £189.20. Trifecta: £143.80. CSF:
£12.73. NR: Where’s Hector.
2.40 1. SHELIKESTHELIGHTS (P Brennan) 2-1 fav;
2. Flirtatious Girl 10-3; 3. Lady Hamilton 100-1.
13 ran. 1/2l, 23/4l. (F O’Brien). Tote: £3.00; £1.30,
£1.70, £15.20. Exacta: £10.70. Trifecta: £510.00.
CSF: £9.09.
3.15 1. DREAMING BLUE (R Dingle) 11-2; 2. Sainte
Doctor 3-1 fav; 3. Grand Voyage 13-2. 8 ran.
1l, 7l. (A Honeyball). Tote: £6.50; £1.80, £1.60,
£2.00. Exacta: £25.90. Tricast: £109.53. Trifecta:
£144.90. CSF: £23.30.
4.00 1. MISS MILANO (C Rabbitt) 13-2; 2. Armchair
Farmer 4-7 fav; 3. Grand Du Nord 9-2. 4 ran. 17l,
24l. (N Richards). Tote: £7.50; Exacta: £10.10. Trifecta: £17.40. CSF: £11.71. NR: Horacio Apple’s.
4.40 1. FINGAL’S HILL (T Dowson) 15-2; 2. Heros
7-1; 3. Couldbeaweapon 10-3. 9 ran. 3-1 fav
Saturday Song (4th). 1l, 21/4l. (P Atkinson). Tote:
£8.50; £2.30, £1.90, £1.60. Exacta: £65.00. Tricast:
£209.16. Trifecta: £288.00. CSF: £58.96. NRs:
Hasty Brook, No Tackle.
5.15 1. LUCKIE SEVEN (D McMenamin) 4-1; 2.
Crystal Mer 9-2; 3. Destroytheevidence 9-1. 8
ran. 3-1 fav It’s Tuesday (5th). 2l, 33/4l. (N Richards). Tote: £5.20; £1.60, £1.80, £2.60. Exacta:
£23.70. Trifecta: £128.20. CSF: £21.88. NRs: The
Old Bull, Zolpharine.
Placepot: £196.10. Quadpot: £130.10.
Place 6: £109.88. Place 5: £103.15.

ICE HOCKEY

NHL: New Jersey Devils 3 Tampa Bay
Lightning 4 (SO); New York Rangers 4
Pittsburgh Penguins 2; Florida Panthers 9
Montreal Canadiens 5; Ottawa Senators 4
Colorado Avalanche 5; Nashville Predators 1
Chicago Blackhawks 2; Winnipeg Jets 0 Boston
Bruins 3; Edmonton Oilers 4 Dallas Stars
1; Arizona Coyotes 3 Vancouver Canucks 2;
Vegas Golden Knights 2 Calgary Flames 7; Los
Angeles Kings 4 Columbus Blue Jackets 1; San
Jose Sharks 1 Seattle Kraken 2 (OT).

MOTOR RACING

RALLY MEXICO, LEON, MEXICO, Stage 2: 1 O
Tanak (Est) Ford 1min 54.2secs, 2 K Rovanpera
(Fin) Toyota +1.7, 3 E Lappi (Fin) Hyundai +2.2,
4 T Neuville (Bel) Hyundai +2.8, 5 S Ogier (Fr)
Toyota +2.8, 6 E Evans (GB) Toyota +3.3, 7 D
Sordo (Sp) Hyundai +3.4, 8 P-Louis Loubet (Fr)
Ford +3.7, 9 T Katsuta (Japan) Toyota +4.1, 10
E Lindholm (Fin) Skoda +6.1, 12 G Greensmith
(GB) Skoda +8.0secs.

RUGBY LEAGUE
BETFRED SUPER LEAGUE
Huddersfield (6).............. 12
Wigan (8)....................14
Huddersfield: Tries: Naiqama. Goals: Russell
(4). Wigan: Tries: French (2), Wardle. Goals:
Smith. Att: 5,777.
St Helens (4).........................20
Hull (0)...........................12
St Helens: Tries: Davies, Bennison (2), Welsby.
Goals: Lussick (2).
Hull: Tries: Taylor, Clifford. Goals: Clifford (2).
Warrington (22)...............38
Leigh (8).......................20
Warrington: Tries: Drinkwater, Vaughan,
Ratchford, Dufty, Ashton (3). Goals: Ratchford
(5). Leigh: Tries: Briscoe, Charnley, Amone,
Hardaker. Goals: Hardaker (2). Att: 12,073.
P W D L
F
A Pts
Warrington 5 5 0 0 160
76 10
Catalans D
4 4 0 0 108
46
8
Wigan
5 3 0 2 138
57
6
Huddersfield 4 2 0 2 72
46
4
Salford
4 2 0 2 110
84
4
St Helens
4 2 0 2 80
63
4
Hull K R
4 2 0 2 86
76
4
Leeds
5 2 0 3 87 102
4
Leigh
5 2 0 3 86 109
4
Hull
5 2 0 3 86 166
4
Castleford
5 1 0 4 56 136
2
Wakefield
4 0 0 4 24 132
0

RUGBY UNION

RFU CHAMPIONSHIP
Bedford (24).........................39

Richmond (0).............5

SKIING

FIS ALPINE SKIING WORLD CUP FINALS,
SOLDEU, ANDORRA, Mixed Team Parallel: 1
Norway, 2 Switzerland, 3 Austria, 4 Germany,
5 Italy, 6 Androrra. Standings: 1 Norway
400pts, 2 Switzerland 320, 3 Austria 240, 4
Germany 200, 5 Italy 180, 6 Andorra 160.

TODAY’S FIXTURES
BASKETBALL

BBL CHAMPIONSHIP: Plymouth City Patriots
v Cheshire Phoenix, Surrey Scorchers v
Caledonia Gladiators.

CRICKET

SECOND ONE DAY INTERNATIONAL: South
Africa v West Indies (East London, 11am).
SECOND TEST MATCH—SECOND DAY OF FIVE:
New Zealand v Sri Lanka (Wellington, 10pm).

GOLF

USPGA TOUR VALSPAR CHAMPIONSHIP
(Palm Harbor, Florida).
DP WORLD TOUR SDC CHAMPIONSHIP
(Eastern Cape, South Africa).
LADIES EUROPEAN TOUR ARAMCO TEAM
SERIES - SINGAPORE.
USPGA TOUR CHAMPIONS HOAG CLASSIC
(Newport Beach, California).+

ICE HOCKEY

ELITE LEAGUE: Belfast Giants v Cardiff Devils,
Coventry Blaze v Dundee Stars, Guildford
Flames v Glasgow Clan, Manchester Storm v
Fife Flyers, Sheffield Steelers v Nottingham
Panthers.

NETBALL

VITALITY SUPERLEAGUE:Severn Stars v
Manchester Thunder.

RUGBY LEAGUE

BETFRED SUPER LEAGUE (5.0): Catalans
Dragons v Hull K R.
BETFRED CHAMPIONSHIP (3.0): Newcastle v
London Broncos, Widnes v Toulouse.
BETFRED LEAGUE 1 (3.0): London Skolars v
Hunslet.

RUGBY UNION

GUINNESS SIX NATIONS.
PW D L
F
A
4 4 0 0 122 56
4 3 0 1 133 87
4 2 0 2 92 84
4 2 0 2 84 106
4 1 0 3 56 106
4 0 0 4 75 123

Ireland
France
Scotland
England
Wales
Italy

B
3
3
2
2
1
1

Pts
19
15
10
10
5
1

France v Wales (2.45), Ireland v England (5.0),
Scotland v Italy.
RFU CHAMPIONSHIP (2.0): Ampthill v
Doncaster, Coventry v Caldy (3.0), Jersey Reds
v Hartpury RFC, London Scottish v Cornish
Pirates (3.0), Nottingham v Ealing Trailfinders.
NATIONAL LEAGUE 1 (2.0): Chinnor v Leeds
Tykes (3.0), Hull v Birmingham Moseley.
NATIONAL LEAGUE 2 NORTH (3.0): Harrogate
v Huddersfield, Hull Ionians v Sedgley Park,
Sheffield Tigers v Otley.
2 WEST (2.0): Hinckley v Loughborough
Students (3.0), Newport (Salop) v Redruth
(2.15), Old Redcliffians v Luctonians.
2 EAST (3.0): Bury St Edmunds v Blackheath,
Henley v North Walsham, Old Albanians v
Westcliff, Rochford Hundred v Dorking (2.0),
Sevenoaks v Barnes.

TOMORROW’S FIXTURES
BASKETBALL

BBL CHAMPIONSHIP: London Lions v
Sheffield Sharks, Manchester Giants v
Newcastle Eagles, Plymouth City Patriots v
Cheshire Phoenix.

ICE HOCKEY

ELITE LEAGUE: Belfast Giants v Cardiff
Devils, Dundee Stars v Coventry Blaze, Fife
Flyers v Glasgow Clan, Nottingham Panthers
v Manchester Storm, Sheffield Steelers v
Guildford Flames.

NETBALL

VITALITY SUPERLEAGUE: Loughborough
Lightning v Leeds Rhinos.
RUGBY LEAGUE
BETFRED SUPER LEAGUE (3.0): Salford v
Wakefield.
BETFRED CHAMPIONSHIP (3.0): Bradford
v Sheffield, Halifax v Keighley, Swinton v
Featherstone, York v Whitehaven.

RUGBY UNION

PREMIERSHIP RUGBY CUP FINAL (2.0):
London Irish v Exeter.
GUINNESS U20 SIX NATIONS (2.0): France v
Wales (8.0), Ireland v England (5.0), Scotland
v Italy.
PW D L
F
A B Pts
Ireland
4 4 0 0 203 92 3
19
France
4 3 0 1 155 79 4
16
England
4 3 0 1 117 124 3
15
Italy
4 1 0 3 108 129 6 10
Scotland
4 1 0 3 73 194 1
5
Wales
4 0 0 4 90 128 3
3

Slip

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

‘Once I got
the bipolar
label, it
felt like a
problem’

CRICKET

Ex-captain Paine calls
time on his career
Former Australia Test captain
Tim Paine has ended his cricket
career.
Wicketkeeper Paine played 35
Tests for Australia, including 23
as skipper after Steve Smith was
stripped of the role following a
ball-tampering scandal during
the team’s 2018 tour of South
Africa.
Paine quit the Test captaincy
in November 2021 following
revelations that he was
investigated in 2018 for sending
lewd text messages.
He subsequently withdrew
from the game and took a mental
health break for nearly a year
before returning to play domestic
cricket.

TENNIS

Raducanu is left
out of GB team
for key cup tie

Olympian Caragh McMurtry reveals
how a misdiagnosis harmed her career
– and that the discovery she had autism
changed everything. By George Simms

T

91

SPORT IN BRIEF

ROWING

rying to make it to the
Olympics is a challenge
enough on its own. Trying to make it while on
medication that means it
is extremely difficult to
get out of bed, feeling as
though neither the world
nor your coaches understand you, is
near impossible.
That is Caragh McMurtry’s story.
She spent nearly a decade on the
Team GB Olympic rowing squad, yet
every day presented its own struggle far beyond the expected rigours
of training and elite competition.
McMurtry has Autism Spectrum
Condition (ASC). Autism is so wideranging and varied that finding a
specific definition can be difficult,
but it is a form of neurodivergence,
thinking differently. It is often characterised by challenges with social
interaction, sensory over- or undersensitivity and highly focused interests or hobbies. Other common
neurodivergent conditions include
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Dyslexia, Dyspraxia
and Tourette’s Syndrome.
McMurtry was diagnosed in 2019,
aged 28. For five years beforehand
she was misdiagnosed with bipolar
disorder, having been sent to visit
therapists and doctors in 2014 as
her mental health worsened.
She was prescribed lithium, lamotrigine and quetiapine, two mood
stabilisers and an antipsychotic.
Lithium alone is often enough to
severely impede daily function,
and side-effects can include severe
drowsiness, weight gain, and suicidal thoughts. None of those are
exactly conducive to becoming an
Olympic athlete.
Yet McMurtry persevered. “For
five years I was just hanging around,
being made to feel like crap, never

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

quite performing as well as I could
do but still beating a lot of other
people,” she tells i. “It was the medication more than anything, but also
the diagnosis. I used to think I was a
bit unhinged. I actually felt it was my
secret weapon. I was proud of being
able to go that little bit further.
“Once I got the bipolar label, it felt
like a problem. Suddenly it became
a weapon against myself, it undermined me. I had never tried so hard
as when I was on that medication,
but I’d never performed as badly.”
When Brendan Purcell became
British Rowing’s performance director in 2019, everything changed
for McMurtry. Promoting a personcentred approach, Purcell sent her
to the UK Sport Mental Health
Panel. She was their first client.
“I hit a wall and said ‘I can’t do
this any more. I need some help’,”
McMurtry explains. “Very early on
[the mental health panel] realised I
was neurodivergent, I have a different way of processing and thinking.
“Before that, they were supposed
to be making me better, but it was
getting worse. The misdiagnosis
actually exacerbated all my neurodivergent struggles. Before that,
when things were bad it was ‘go to
the doctor, go to the Priory, get cognitive behavioural therapy’. It was

like someone had read WebMD.”
McMurtry’s autism diagnosis
­massively improved both her everyday life and rowing performance.
Within a year, her 2k race time
improved by 17 seconds. Suddenly,
she realised why everything had not
quite made sense before.
“When I came off the medication and got the support I needed,
my performance shot up, because
I’d still been doing everything
right, I just wasn’t getting the
­results,” she says.
McMurtry finally made it to the
Tokyo Olympics in 2021, rowing in
the women’s eight. While it did not
go to plan, she had demonstrated
a single-minded determination
and ability to push herself beyond
expected limitations which has
become associated with autism. In
many ways, it was her autism that
had made her a great athlete in the
first place, as Michael Phelps or Simone Biles have said of their ADHD.
“If I decide to do something, if I
really believe in something and you
convince me why it’s the right thing
to do, I will do it, I will find a way.
“The problem comes when people
don’t explain it in a way that suits
my brain. Sometimes it’s hard to get
into something or change what I’m
doing, but once I’m on track, I can

Caragh McMurtry (fifth from left) with the GB eight at the Tokyo Olympics GETTY

go and go. Being autistic, I’m very
passionate about the things I care
about. Autism seems to come with a
drive to make life worth something,
because your mind forces you to
pursue whatever your passion is.”
McMurtry retired last December
at 31, and now runs Neurodiverse
Sport, an organisation she founded
to help other neurodivergent
sports­people. She says she has been
contacted by around 150 elite or
Olympic athletes since starting.
“My main priority is making
sure people don’t go through what I
went through. You never know what
you’re capable of, but I know I’m
capable of a lot more than I achieved,
especially in the five years I was on
lithium. I didn’t need to go through
those traumatic experiences and be
made to feel so small and so wrong,
and ­different, like nothing I said or
did was right or good. I would never
want anyone to go through that,”
she says.
“If a neurodivergent person is
good enough to make it to the top in
their worst environment, imagine
if we actually gave them a bit of
­understanding and support?
“People just don’t have an
­understanding. I was always told
‘you need fixing’, but in retrospect,
what made me different made me a
really f**king good athlete. When
they tried to fix me, I lost it.”
Ultimately, McMurtry hopes
that her work to raise awareness,
and the work done by organisations like Neurodiversity Celebration Week (13-19 March), will mean
others do not have to struggle in
the same way. “Once we accept
that people don’t need to be the
same and people don’t need to
conform, things will progress”
she says. “Being autistic is being
­different, not being wrong.”

Emma Raducanu will not
feature in Great Britain’s Billie
Jean King Cup Finals qualifying
tie against France next month.
Captain Anne Keothavong
has named the same team
which reached the semi-finals
in September and
said former US
Open champion
Raducanu was
“unavailable”
for the two-day
tie in Coventry
from 14 April.
Raducanu
(right) said after
her opening victory
in Indian Wells that
she did not even know when
the tie was, a comment which
did not appear to go down well
with Keothavong.
The captain posted on social
media, seemingly in r­ eference
to Raducanu’s revelation:
“My communication skills are
­generally good in case anyone
was wondering.”

RUGBY LEAGUE

French brace ensures
Wigan bounce back
Two tries from Bevan French
proved just enough to ensure
Wigan would avoid consecutive
Super League defeats as they
dredged up a 14-12 win over
Huddersfield at the John Smith’s
Stadium.
Errors from both sides
scattered a thoroughly disjointed
affair but Matt Peet’s men proved
marginally more clinical at the
business end as they bounced
back from last week’s surprise
home defeat to Catalans.
Matty Ashton bagged himself
a hat-trick of tries as leaders
Warrington eased past Leigh
Leopards 38-20. St Helens proved
too powerful for Hull running out
20-12 winners.

92

SPORT

KEMPTON

GOOD TO SOFT

NOVICES’ LIMITED HANDICAP CHASE
ITV4
(GBB RACE) (CLASS 3) £21,400 added 2m 2f
1
423112 CAP DU MATHAN (BF) P Nicholls 8 11 10.............H Cobden T
2
33-211 WHISTLEINTHEDARK L Morgan 8 11 9..........P Cowley (3) H
3
43-883 ANY NEWS N Mulholland 8 11 2.........S Twiston-Davies C,T
4
6231-1 STORMIN CROSSGALES T R George 6 11 1... J J Burke H,T
5
/1147P QUID PRO QUO D Skelton 7 10 13.................................F Gregory T
6
/223-F ATHOLL STREET Alexandra Dunn 8 10 7..............C Ring (3) T
7
-FPP22 TRIPLE TRADE Joe Tizzard 7 10 5.....................................B J Powell
- 7 declared BETTING: 2-1 Stormin Crossgales, 7-2 Cap Du Mathan, 4-1
Whistleinthedark, 5-1 Any News, 8-1 Triple Trade, 10-1 others.

1.30

FORM VERDICT

An important clue to the outcome of this race could be the Wincanton clash
between STORMIN CROSSGALES (first) and Cap Du Mathan (second) in
November, and it is the Tom George-trained six-year-old who is taken
to uphold the form on just his second go over fences, with the step up in
trip expected to suit. The progressive Whistleinthedark is two from two
over the larger obstacles so has to be considered closely too.

VIRGIN BET HANDICAP HURDLE (GBB RACE)
ITV4
(CLASS 2) £40,000 added 2m 5f
1 1UPP01 PRESS YOUR LUCK (CD) C Gordon 8 12 0.Mr F Gordon (7)
2
411-34 PULL AGAIN GREEN (D) F O’Brien 7 11 10.L Harrison (3) T
3
37-206 A DIFFERENT KIND D McCain 6 11 9...........P J Kavanagh (5)
4
1-134P HARBOUR LAKE (D) A King 7 11 8................ S Twiston-Davies
5
121P21 OUTLAW PETER (CD) P Nicholls 7 11 6....................H Cobden T
6
1P337P UHTRED D Skelton 8 11 5............................................................F Gregory
7
/111-6 LADY ADARE H Fry 7 11 4..........................................................J J Burke T
8
21-414 YORKSEA G L Moore 5 11 2......................................N F Houlihan (3)
9
-42224 TOO FRIENDLY D Skelton 5 11 2......................Bridget Andrews
10 7-11P4 SCARFACE (D) Joe Tizzard 6 11 2.......................................B J Powell
11 128-4P THE BOMBER LISTON N Henderson 7 10 13.. N De Boinville
12 6-1213 MOVEIT LIKE MINNIE (D)(BF) N Twiston-Davies 6 10 7

.........................................................................................................................F Lambert (5) T
- 12 declared BETTING: 4-1 Outlaw Peter, 7-1 Pull Again Green, 8-1 The Bomber
Liston, Harbour Lake, Yorksea, Press Your Luck, 10-1 others.

2.05

FORM VERDICT

A taking winner of this contest last year off 8lb lower, PRESS YOUR LUCK
can repeat the feat, having returned to form with an easy success at
Wincanton last month. Disappointing in the Lanzarote over C&D in
January, Outlaw Peter has got back on track since and must enter
calculations, along with Too Friendly, who keeps on running well
without getting his head in front. Others to note include Harbour Lake,
Lady Adare and Pull Again Green.

FORM VERDICT

COLLECTORS ITEM lost little in defeat when going down by a short head in
a Grade 2 contest at Haydock last month and he may have been let in lightly
on this handicap debut off a mark of 132. Lord Snootie lurks at the foot of
the weights and was last seen winning on his handicap bow at Warwick on
New Year’s Eve. With the second from that race subsequently bolting up,
he’s feared most, ahead of Wilde About Oscar, who was far from disgraced
when coming home in sixth in a Grade 3 event at Sandown in February.

RACING CHELTENHAM FESTIVAL

MIDLANDS GRAND NATIONAL HANDICAP
ITV4
CHASE (CLASS 1) £150,000 added 4m 2f
1
3/11-1 IWILLDOIT S Thomas 10 12 0..............................................S Sheppard
2 RP-B23 MR INCREDIBLE W P Mullins (IRE) 7 11 4...............Doubtful
3
1D-3F2 THE GALLOPING BEAR Ben Clarke 10 11 4...B R Jones C,T
4
-P0188 FLOUEUR G Hanmer 8 11 1..................Tabitha Worsley (3) C,T
5
F1-1F1 FRENCH PARADOXE O Signy 8 10 13................... G Sheehan H
6 21UFPF CAPTAIN KANGAROO W P Mullins (IRE) 8 10 8.D E Mullins T
7
36-945 TRUCKERS LODGE (CD) P Nicholls 11 10 8............... B Frost B
8
1F-141 GUETAPAN COLLONGES (C) C Longsdon 7 10 5..J O’Neill Jr
9
23-437 NOTACHANCE A King 9 10 5................................................ T Cannon C
10 1-2241 TILE TAPPER Chris Honour 9 10 5.......................................S Bowen
11 42-731 THE TWO AMIGOS Nicky Martin 11 10 5.........D Prichard (5)
12 5P-923 SECRET REPRIEVE E Williams 9 10 5.............................A Wedge
13 30-PP8 TIME TO GET UP (CD) Jonjo O’Neill 10 10 3...K Brogan C,T
14 31-341 SCIPION T Lacey 7 10 2.....................................................................J Tudor C
15 123-03 MAJOR DUNDEE A King 8 10 2...................................................R Dingle
16 P-PP21 BUSHYPARK P Kirby 9 10 2.......................................................T Dowson
17 113P-1 MAX DYNAMO Mrs E Bishop 13 10 2........H Beswick (3) H,T
18 7P3414 D’JANGO D Pipe 10 10 2.........................................Sean Houlihan B,T
- 18 declared BETTING: 9-2 Guetapan Collonges, 5-1 Iwilldoit, 7-1 The Galloping Bear,
8-1 French Paradoxe, 10-1 The Two Amigos, Secret Reprieve, 12-1
others.

3.00

FORM VERDICT

A competitive renewal of this valuable event, in which marginal preference is
for MAJOR DUNDEE, who has found 3m on decent ground too sharp on his
two starts so far this season. As a result, he is now 3lb lower than when third
in the Scottish Grand National last year and that form gives him a big chance.
Iwilldoit is an obvious threat following his Classic Chase victory in January,
although an 8lb rise will make his life tougher. The Galloping Bear could
easily make the frame if fully recovered from his effort in the Eider three
weeks ago, while The Two Amigos and French Paradoxe are others to note.

3.35

NOVICES’ HANDICAP CHASE (GBB
RACE) (CLASS 2) £40,000 added 3m

ITV4

1
1-1512 IRON BRIDGE Jonjo O’Neill 7 12 0.......................Jonjo O’Neill Jr
2
2-219P FERN HILL (C) B Case 8 12 0.................................................S Sheppard
3
32-431 GUSTAVIAN (C)(D) A Honeyball 8 12 0........................R Dingle T
4
121-21 SUPER SURVIVOR (D) J Snowden 7 11 9.................. G Sheehan
5
10-213 OUR JET (BF) D Skelton 7 11 8............................................H Skelton T
6
314-21 BLACKJACK MAGIC (D) A Honeyball 8 11 7.....A Coleman T
7
30F-P3 DANS LE VENT (D) E Williams 10 11 5.Isabel Williams (3)
VIRGIN BET FIVES HANDICAP CHASE (GBB
565-31 MISTER WATSON B Pauling 9 11 2....................................T Cannon
ITV4 8
RACE) (CLASS 2) £60,000 added 2m 4f 110yds
9
352-31 MACKELDUFF (D) O Murphy 7 11 2.....................................S Bowen
1
3F-10P BRAVE SEASCA (D) V Williams 8 12 2..........................C Deutsch 10 32-222 AUTONOMOUS CLOUD (BF) F O’Brien 7 11 2..... A P Heskin
2 P2-P4P MISTER FISHER (CD) N Henderson 9 11 10.. N De Boinville C 11 D-1422 HOW’S THE CRICKET (D) H Fry 8 10 5....B Bromley (5) C,T
- 11 declared 3
12-512 COMPLETE UNKNOWN (D)(BF) P Nicholls 7 11 6.H Cobden
BETTING: 9-2 Super Survivor, 6-1 Gustavian, Iron Bridge, 7-1 Blackjack
4
13U-10 FANTASTIC LADY (D) N Henderson 8 11 5.S Twiston-Davies
Magic, 8-1 Mackelduff, Autonomous Cloud, Our Jet, 10-1 others.
5
1244-2 FIDELIO VALLIS (C) Harry Derham 8 11 5........ Paul O’Brien
6
P3-539 SILVER HALLMARK (D) F O’Brien 9 11 1.......................... C Brace
FORM VERDICT
7
4-F596 ROUGE VIF H Whittington 9 11 1...........................................D Jacob T
8
2-2921 GALAHAD QUEST (D) J Williams 7 10 12.........D Noonan C,T OUR JET was a beaten favourite over an extended 2m3f at Wetherby
9
13-444 BEAKSTOWN (D) D Skelton 10 10 11.................B Andrews C,T last time, but he was not disgraced on that occasion and the son of
Jet Away may relish this step up in trip. If he does, a mark of 131 may
10 F-27P7 CAPTAIN TOM CAT (D) Dr R Newland 8 10 11.C Hammond
not be enough to stop him. Super Survivor accounted for a useful
11 -52935 DUBLIN FOUR (D) F O’Brien 9 10 10........................J Hogan (5) T rival at Chepstow in December and is an obvious threat. Iron Bridge is
12 496618 JACAMAR (CD) M Harris 8 10 10......................................J J Burke V another who should benefit from going up in trip, and the consistent
13 185563 ONE TRUE KING (D) N Twiston-Davies 8 10 6......J Nailor C Autonomous Cloud is likely to be in the mix once again.
- 13 declared BETTING: 4-1 Complete Unknown, 13-2 Galahad Quest, 7-1 Fidelio Vallis,
8-1 Fantastic Lady, Mister Fisher, 10-1 Brave Seasca, 12-1 others.

2.40

FORM VERDICT
Value may lie with talented mare FANTASTIC LADY, who is far better
than she showed at Cheltenham on New Year’s Day. The eight-year-old,
who plundered a Listed prize at Market Rasen prior to that, should
be far better suited by this track, with the ground also in her favour.
Course winner Fidelio Vallis made a pleasing enough start for Harry
Derham at Musselburgh, while Complete Unknown lost little in defeat
behind a good mare in a Warwick Grade 2. Brave Seasca and Galahad
Quest can also have a say.
VIRGIN BET HANDICAP CHASE (CLASS 4)
£13,400 added 3m
1
3/32-2 SOUTHERN SAM R Bandey 9 12 0.............................. H Bannister
2
-22141 JUST DON’T KNOW (D) Paul Robson 10 11 13.Craig Nichol
3
061315 HARLEM SOUL Syd Hosie 5 11 12.............................................J Nailor
4 -PF344 EDE’IFFS ELTON (BF) R Walford 9 11 10.........H Cobden C,T
5
51-PF0 PUTDECASHONTHEDASH K Burke 10 11 7......... D Jacob C,T
6
2/1P41 NORTHERN POET N Gifford 8 11 5.................................J M Davies
7
-63372 ANIMAL Miss Suzy Smith 7 11 3..................................C Hammond
8
-1132P OZZIE MAN (D)(BF) G L Moore 7 11 3...................... D Noonan C
9
62-5P5 MISTER MURCHAN (D) R Rowe 10 11 0.N F Houlihan (3) C
10 P-P514 UALLRIGHTHARRY (D) K Jewell 11 10 13............ B J Powell C
11 2-4P83 I’M A STARMAN M Rimell 10 10 5.........S Twiston-Davies B
- 11 declared BETTING: 4-1 Just Don’t Know, 9-2 Southern Sam, 6-1 Northern Poet,
8-1 Ozzie Man, Ede’iffs Elton, Animal, 10-1 others.

FONTWELL

BETGOODWIN OUR BEST ODDS GUARANTEED MARES’
HANDICAP CHASE (CLASS 4) £14,800 added 3m 2f
1
-15124 ROSE OF ARCADIA (CD) Joe Tizzard 8 12 2.H Kimber (3) T
2
-61511 LOVE ACTUALLY K Burke 7 11 3...................................Jamie Moore
3
0-25P3 GOOD LOOK CHARM A Honeyball 7 11 2.B Godfrey (3) B,T
4
3-3132 DO YOU THINK E Lavelle 7 10 12.........................................T Bellamy
- 4 declared BETTING: 13-8 Love Actually, 2-1 Rose Of Arcadia, 4-1 Do You Think, 5-1
Good Look Charm.

4.20

3.50

UTTOXETER

SOFT

OPTIMUM EXPERIENCE HANDICAP
ITV4
HURDLE (CLASS 3) £14,000 added 2m 4f
1
3P7-37 UP FOR PAROL J Snowden 7 12 0..................................... G Sheehan
2
1P8-P2 STAG HORN (D) A Watson 6 11 12.......................... N Scholfield C
3
23-211 HITCHING JACKING (CD) D Skelton 6 11 12.............H Skelton
4
4-9124 RAFFERTY’S RETURN (D) R Menzies 8 11 12....N Moscrop
5
3PP-10 OPTIMISE PRIME (D) B Pauling 7 11 11.........................T Cannon
6
/11-10 EQUUS DANCER (D) P Bowen 9 11 10..........................S Bowen C
7
125-58 DEL LA MAR ROCKET B Pauling 7 11 5............................. D Bass T
8 1P-4PP CHINWAG (D) N Mulholland 8 11 4..................... A P Heskin B,T
9
12-8P6 BATMAN FOR EVER R Menzies 6 10 10.....................T Dowson
10 P/7887 LIMITED RESERVE Christian Williams 11 10 3...J Tudor C
- 10 declared BETTING: 15-8 Hitching Jacking, 6-1 Rafferty’s Return, Up For Parol, 7-1
Optimise Prime, 10-1 Equus Dancer, Stag Horn, 12-1 others.

1.50

FORM VERDICT
HITCHING JACKING completed a brace of wins over hurdles when
displaying a game attitude at Wetherby in January and Dan Skelton’s
gelding could have more to offer now foraying into handicaps. Up For
Parol finished a cracking third in the Lanzarote in January and, although
disappointing at Carlisle last month, he is feared most. Rafferty’s
Return arrives in better form than most and completes the shortlist.
OPTIMUM PAY HANDICAP HURDLE
ITV4
(GBB RACE) (CLASS 2) £50,000 added 2m 7f
1
P1-35P SAM BROWN (D) A Honeyball 11 12 0...................A Coleman T
2
1-P21P FLIGHT DECK Jonjo O’Neill 9 11 11................................ K Brogan C
3
11-140 DOLPHIN SQUARE (D) P Hobbs & J White 9 11 9.S Houlihan C
4
314-1P BALLYGRIFINCOTTAGE (D)(BF) D Skelton 8 11 7

............................................................................................................................. F Gillard (3) T
5
51-495 PARTY BUSINESS I Williams 7 11 4..........................................C Todd
6
2-7034 GENTLEMAN AT ARMS S Edmunds 6 11 3..... C Gethings T
7
7-03P6 WILDE ABOUT OSCAR (C) D Skelton 8 11 3........H Skelton T
8
/0-81F LYNWOOD GOLD (D) B Barr 8 11 2.............................. G Sheehan T
9
44-P20 STELLAR MAGIC P Hobbs & J White 8 11 1....... B R Jones C
10 11U-3P ASK ME EARLY (C) H Fry 9 11 0..........................................S Bowen T
11 2-1512 COLLECTORS ITEM Jonjo O’Neill 6 10 13...Jonjo O’Neill Jr
12
13-1 TRELAWNE K Bailey 7 10 11.............................................................. D Bass
13 2-2413 SILVER FLYER (BF) D McCain 7 10 7......................A P Heskin C
14
13741 LORD SNOOTIE Christian Williams 6 10 2......................J Tudor
- 14 declared BETTING: 9-2 Collectors Item, 6-1 Lord Snootie, Trelawne, 8-1 Wilde
About Oscar, 10-1 Ballygrifincottage, Flight Deck, Ask Me Early, 12-1
Silver Flyer, Party Business, Dolphin Square, 14-1 others.

2.25

SOFT

NEWCASTLE

SOFT

GUINNESS COLD BREW COFFEE HANDICAP HURDLE
(CLASS 3) £15,400 added 2m 1f
1
1-1551 STAINSBY GIRL (CD) N Alexander 9 12 0.Mr K Alexander (5)
2
3/6-0P BAND OF OUTLAWS B Haslam 8 11 13................ J Hamilton C
3
42P-25 ALBERT’S BACK M & D Easterby 9 11 10..................B Hughes
4 P0-19P LEBOWSKI M Scudamore 8 11 6.................P W Wadge (5) H,T
5
8248F3 VOIX DU REVE (C)(D) I Jardine 11 11 5.............T Midgley (5) C
6
543134 THEREISNODOUBT (D) L Russell 10 11 3.............D R Fox H,T
7
7-4110 WAR SOLDIER (C) A M Thomson 6 11 3........D McMenamin
8
31284/ HOUSTON BERE (D) A Hales 6 11 1........................ Sean Quinlan
- 8 declared BETTING: 3-1 War Soldier, Stainsby Girl, 4-1 Thereisnodoubt, 6-1 Voix
Du Reve, 7-1 Albert’s Back, 8-1 Lebowski, 20-1 others.
GUINNESS NITRO SURGE HANDICAP CHASE
(CLASS 3) £18,000 added 2m 7f
1
11P-3P OMAR MARETTI (CD) A Hales 9 12 1................................D R Fox C
2
5-6128 BURROWS DIAMOND (C) S Smith 8 11 13..... Sean Quinlan
3
3-682P BAVINGTON BOB (CD) A Hamilton 8 11 12.D McMenamin B
4 P0-0P4 BLAKLION D Skelton 14 11 11......................................T Durrell (5) T
5
P-4536 SMALL PRESENT Sue Smith 8 11 5............................. R Chapman
6
2-3422 GERYVILLE (CD)(BF) M Hammond 7 11 1...................B Hughes
7
26-316 DONNA’S DOUBLE (C)(BF) A M Thomson 7 10 13.T Midgley (5)
8
9-5P38 THE FERRY MASTER (CD) A M Thomson 10 10 10.H Brooke C,T
9
21-5FP NICEANDEASY (C) N Alexander 10 10 8.............C O’Farrell C
10 -26833 CASH TO ASH (CD) M Walford 10 10 8...........J Hamilton C,T
- 10 declared BETTING: 7-2 Geryville, 6-1 Small Present, 7-1 Burrows Diamond, Omar
Maretti, 8-1 Bavington Bob, Cash To Ash, Donna’s Double, 10-1 others.

2.50

3.25

THURLES

SOFT

PIERCE MOLONY MEMORIAL NOVICE CHASE
(GRADE 3) (CLASS 1) E26,549 added 2m 2f
1
-34311 INDIANA JONES M F Morris 7 11 8...................D J O’Keeffe C,T
2
126333 SOLE PRETENDER (D) N Lee 9 11 5......................S D Torrens H
3
-113FB UPPING THE ANTI H De Bromhead 7 11 5....... R Blackmore
4
2-3173 FLAME BEARER (C)(BF) W P Mullins 8 11 1.P Townend T
5
1P-1FP GLENGOULY (CD) W P Mullins 7 11 1............................Jack Foley
6
148414 IL COURRA C Farrell 8 11 1................................M J M O’Sullivan T
7
9-3332 LARGY DEBUT H De Bromhead 8 11 1...............S W Flanagan
- 7 declared BETTING: 13-8 Flame Bearer, 9-4 Indiana Jones, 7-2 Sole Pretender, 10-1
Upping The Anti, Glengouly, 14-1 Il Courra, Largy Debut.

2.30

WOLVERHAMPTON

STANDARD

TOP ODDS EVERY DAY WITH BETUK HANDICAP (RIDER
RESTRICTED RACE) (CLASS 3) £18,800 added 1m 4f
1
-14111 ZEALOT M Appleby 5 10 4(5ex)........Billy Loughnane (5) C 5
2
24-112 NOLTON CROSS (CD) H Palmer 4 9 4.........................T Whelan 7
3
3-8923 PROTECTED GUEST (D) G Margarson 8 9 4..H Burns (3) 2
4
111131 BUXTED TOO (D) I Williams 5 9 2...........................S Feilden (7) 8
5
42-212 OBSIDIAN KNIGHT (D) T Kent 5 8 10..............L Williams (7) 3
6
U5257- IN THE BREEZE (D) M Appleby 5 8 9.................................. T Ladd 4
7
11223- WHIMSY (D) A Balding 4 8 7..........................................................W Cox 1
8
4461-7 MYBOYMAX (C)(D) M Hammond 5 8 7..........A Brookes (5) 6
- 8 declared BETTING: 9-4 Zealot, 4-1 Nolton Cross, 9-2 Buxted Too, Obsidian Knight,
7-1 Whimsy, 12-1 Protected Guest, 16-1 In The Breeze, 33-1 Myboymax.

7.00

Townend
keeps his
cool to
win for
Mullins

Jon
Freeman
RACING EDITOR AT
PRESTBURY PARK

It was another happy St Patrick’s
Day for Willie Mullins at Cheltenham as Galopin Des Champs, the ace
in the Irish champion trainer’s starstudded pack, won the race of the
season, the Gold Cup.
Watched from the second-last
fence, everything seemed straightforward as Galopin Des Champs
loomed alongside Bravemansgame
and then surged clear to win by an
emphatic seven lengths.
But this was a triumph for the
class and cool of stable jockey Paul
Townend, who judged expertly
every twist and turn and change in
momentum throughout a dramatic

ROUND-UP

Andrews turns back clock
for sweet Faivoir victory
By Jon Freeman

An abiding memory of the
2018 Festival is Bridget
Andrews and her soonto-be husband Harry
Skelton embracing after
one of our foremost
female jump jockeys had
swooped to conquer aboard
Mohaayed in the County
Hurdle, her first ever winner
at the meeting.

Five blank years on and Bridget
was back yesterday with her
second Festival triumph, in the
very same race on another 33-1
outsider, Faivoir. Both were
for her brother-in-law trainer,
Dan, who was saddling his fourth
winner of the County Hurdle in
the past eight years.
This time Andrews (left) had
to work harder on a horse she
describes as “a character, a bit
of a monkey” to get the better

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

93

FOOTBALL

GOLD CUP RESULTS
1 Galopin Des Champs 7-5
(W Mullins) P Townend
2 Bravemansgame 6-1
(P Nicholls) H Cobden
3 Conflated 22-1
(G Elliott) S Ewing
4 Noble Yeats 14-1
(E Mullins) S Bowen
For other results, see p90

contest in a ride Sir A P McCoy said
was the best he had ever seen.
It might be presumed that riding
world-class horses for a world-class
trainer every day was a relatively
stress-free occupation, but the heat
was definitely on in the build-up to
the big day.
Mullins felt it, perhaps not as convinced as he was letting on that Galopin Des Champs was guaranteed

of the determined Pied Piper by
a head, but it was a win that gave
her just as much satisfaction after
spending half of last year recovering from a broken neck sustained
in a Warwick fall.
Lossiemouth and Gala Marceau
have dominated the juvenile hurdle
scene in Ireland all season and duly
proved much too good for the home
team in the Triumph Hurdle.
Willie Mullins is spoilt for
choice in this division and though
the much-fancied Blood Destiny
flopped, it was still a 1-2-3-4 for
the trainer with Zenta taking third
spot and Gust Of Wind fourth.
Gala Marceau beat Lossiemouth
at Leopardstown last time, but
the runner-up had valid excuses.

to see out a distance – three and a
quarter miles – he was trying for the
first time.
Galopin Des Champs is an exuberant character and Mullins had
changed his whole training regime in order to get him as relaxed
as possible.
“There wasn’t so much fast work,
it was all about stamina, switching
him off and keeping the lid on,” the
boss explained.
Townend was the man charged
with putting the concept into practice on the racecourse, when the
chips were down, but rider and horse
were so calm going about it that Mullins was soon fretting that the plan
might have been overdone.
“Was he too far back?” he wondered. “I thought he needed to
get away from any deadwood at
the back.”
He needn’t have worried. Creeping closer down the back straight
and avoiding the trouble caused
by the front-running Ahoy Senor’s
fall six fences from home, Townend
was soon in touch with the leaders
and once he drew alongside Bravemansgame at the second last it was
basically all over.
“It wasn’t clean sailing everywhere,” said the rider. “Everywhere
I went, I ran into trouble, but I had
faith in him getting me out of it and
he did.
“He’s a proper, proper horse because he’s run about three different
races [within a race] and still won a
Gold Cup.”
Conflated, ridden for Michael
O’Leary’s Gigginstown Stud by
young Sam Ewing after Davy Russell stood himself down (“sore rib”),
finished an honourable third, just
ahead of last year’s Grand National
winner Noble Yeats, who had been
taken off his feet.
Mullins rates Galopin Des Champs
an exceptional Gold Cup winner and
is already looking forward to bringing him back next year to defend
his crown.
Harry Cobden, who was already
enjoying a good week with wins on
Stage Star and Stay Away Fay, was
delighted with Bravemansgame.
“He did everything right and ran
a phenomenal race,” said the jockey.
“But the winner was better and I’m
wondering how are we going to come
back next year and beat him?”

“She’s a star mare,” said Mullins.
“And but for traffic problems last
time, she’d be unbeaten.”
That’s fighting talk, according to
Kenny Alexander (also the owner
of Honeysuckle), who can’t wait for
Punchestown next month. “There
will have to be a rematch,” he challenged. “I’m definitely not scared of
taking her on again.”
As for the Prestbury Cup, the
annual friendly scrap between GB
and Ireland for the most Festival
winners, it was no contest again,
wrapped up by the visitors on
Thursday evening, prompting one
unkind but reasonable suggestion
that, for the time being at least, it
should be GB v Mullins to make
more of a contest of it.

BEST BET

Too Friendly (2.05, Kempton)
Knocking on the door in
competitive handicaps.
Ready to win again.

SUNDAY BEST

Lord Du Mesnil (3.35, Carlisle)
At his best on this testing
ground.

Secret Reprieve
well suited to
Uttoxeter run
By Jon Freeman

Four days at the Cheltenham
Festival is a slog in itself and
now it’s the Midlands Grand
National, three and a bit laps
around Uttoxeter, the longest
race in the calendar aside from
the big one at Aintree.
Stamina is at a premium,
especially when the going is
as soft as it will be today. Step
forward, at your own laboured
pace, Secret Reprieve, Iwilldoit
and The Two Amigos, the last
three winners of the similarly
arduous Welsh National.
Secret Reprieve hasn’t been
the easiest for Evan Williams
to train, running only run
only five times since his 2021
Chepstow triumph.
But still only nine, there were
signs of a revival on two winter
outings and he turns up today
fresh and nicely handicapped
in a contest that suits his
strengths down to the ground.
Iwilldoit has proved even
harder to keep sound and it
was an achievement by trainer
Sam Thomas to bring him back
to the track more than a year
after his Welsh National win to
land Warwick’s Classic Chase
last month. He commands
respect again, even under top
weight, while Notachance and
Guetapan Collonges also make
the shortlist, particularly
the latter, who enjoyed gutsy
success at today’s course
last month.
Willie Mullins’s Captain
Kangaroo, Ireland’s only player
after an exhausting week in the
Cotswolds, is worth a second
glance, but will need to jump a
lot more like his namesakes to
figure seriously here.

Adam Wedge won the 2021 Welsh
National on Secret Reprieve

James tipped to
fire England to
World Cup glory

By Megan Armitage

Lauren James is the most exciting
English talent since Kelly Smith
and can fire the Lionesses to World
Cup glory this summer, according to
Euro 2022 champion Jill Scott.
Chelsea ace James (below), 21, has
emerged as a crucial cog in Sarina
Wiegman’s England machine over
the last year as her creativity helped
them successfully defend their
­Arnold Clark Cup title.
Lionesses legend Scott believes
she can emulate former 46-goal
England striker Smith and propel
her country all the way in Australia.
“I do think we can go there and
win it,” she said. “We have such a
great squad. You can just look at
people like Lauren James, who is
such an exciting talent.
“She is a great player technically
on the ball. I watch her and I just
haven’t seen players like that since
Kelly Smith.
“I’m sure that Lauren can get the
crowd on their feet if she makes this
World Cup squad.
“We will definitely be the best
prepared team going into this summer – I’m really excited.”
Scott was part of the team that
made history in the Euro 2022 final
at Wembley last summer, and she
was back under the arch as a keynote speaker for the Women In Football Be Inspired Conference.
She added: “This event is for
all – for people who are already in
the football community or those
just embarking on their career in

f­ ootball. So it’s fantastic to be here.
It was a one-day event last year and
they’ve grown it to two days now,
which just shows how much the
women’s game is progressing.
“And it’s great to be back at Wembley. Being back here brings back so
many memories of lifting that trophy
on the pitch.
“I don’t think I left the pitch for
about an hour and a half after the
final whistle, just going around and
talking to fans. It gives me goosebumps being back.”

LEWES

CHELSEA

Murphy hails
‘player activism’
over prize money

Hayes: We will
need everyone to
compete for all

Lewes chief executive Maggie
Murphy says it would be
“incredibly powerful” if Fifa’s
talk of equal prize money for
men’s and women’s World Cups
became reality.
On Thursday, Fifa president
Gianni Infantino said the world
governing body’s ambition was
equal money for the 2026 men’s
and 2027 women’s World Cups.
Ahead of Lewes’ quarter-final
at home to Manchester United
tomorrow, Murphy said: “The
­important thing is prize money
is now being put on the agenda
as something that is up for
debate, and has been seen to have
too much disparity until now.
“I think it’s really important
that the players called for equal
prize money for the World Cup,
and it shows the power of player
activism.”

Chelsea manager Emma Hayes
says the depth of her squad faces
a huge test over the coming
two weeks.
Hayes’s FA Cup holders make
a trip to Reading tomorrow for a
quarter-final match, before they
travel to Lyon on Wednesday for
the first leg of their Champions
League last-eight tie.
A WSL match against
Manchester City is up next
on Sunday week, before the
return leg against Lyon at
Kingsmeadow.
And Hayes said: “The whole
squad has worked so hard so
each and every one of us is able
to play their best part. I know
what we’ve developed over time.
We’ve built a team to cope with
these situations.
“We’re going to need every
single player.”

94

SPORT

FOOTBALL IN BRIEF

WEST HAM UNITED

‘We have to be higher
up the table’ – Lanzini
Manuel Lanzini knows West Ham
need to replicate their European
form in the Premier League.
The Hammers have endured a
tough campaign domestically and
are embroiled in the relegation
battle, a stark contrast to their
run in the Europa Conference
League, where they have won 10
in 10 to reach a quarter-final tie
against Belgian side Gent.
“When you win you get more
confidence,” said Argentinian
midfielder Lanzini. “It’s good
for the group and we hope we’ll
be able to get more wins in the
League. That’s something we’ll
continue to work on.
“We have a team to be (higher)
up. We need to sort that.”

CHELSEA

Mount’s England
call-up a surprise
for Potter
Mason Mount’s inclusion in
the England squad came as a
surprise to Graham Potter, the
Chelsea manager has revealed.
The midfielder (below) has not
featured in a club game since
26 February because of a pubic
bone problem.
Gareth Southgate
left out clubmate Raheem
Sterling, who
has a hamstring
problem. Mount
was included
but Potter made
it clear he would
not be joining up.
“As far as I was aware,
he wasn’t going to be available
for us at the weekend. He needed
a bit of time for his injury to
settle down, which pretty much
ruled him out of England.
“It is just a bit of a niggly one
with Mason,” he said. “He will
have days when he feels good
and then days when he has
had setbacks.”

BOURNEMOUTH

O’Neil puts faith in
bonding session
Bournemouth boss Gary O’Neil is
hoping clay pigeon shooting and
a South American barbecue have
helped the team build on their
shock win over Liverpool.
A draw at Aston Villa today
could be enough to take the
Cherries out of the relegation
zone and O’Neil revealed
some team bonding has only
strengthened the cause.
“A few of them thought it was a
really good idea to do something
together,” he said of the shooting
and barbecue get-together.
“We’ve had a lot of new players
come in, I was in full support of
it. They had a little afternoon, a
local place, a few team-bonding
exercises and a lot of smiles.”

Slip

PREMIER LEAGUE

Isak penalty
pinches win
for wasteful
Magpies
NOTTINGHAM FOREST

1

Dennis 26

NEWCASTLE UNITED

2

Isak 45, pen 90

By Graham Hill
AT THE CITY GROUND

Alexander Isak scored a dramatic
penalty in stoppage time, his second
goal of the game as Newcastle gave
their Champions League hopes a
major boost.
Eddie Howe’s side looked to have
been denied victory by a controversial VAR decision.
But recalled Forest defender
Moussa Niakhaté handled in
the box and Isak – who scored
the winner against Wolves last
week – took full advantage to take
Newcastle to within a point of
fourth-placed Tottenham.
The result increased Forest’s
fears of the drop as they lost at home
for the first time since September.
Emmanuel Dennis put Steve
Cooper’s side ahead with an exqui-

site chip after a poor back-pass from
Newcastle defender Sven Botman.
Newcastle equalised in first half
stoppage time when £63million man
Isak rescued a seemingly lost cause
to volley in off the post.
Howe’s men fell victim to a
lengthy VAR check just after the
hour. Substitute Elliott Anderson
looked to have headed his first Newcastle goal to put his team ahead.
But after VAR looked at the
incident, and referee Paul Tierney looked at the pitchside monitor, it was ruled out for offside for
the faintest of touches by Sean
Longstaff.
Newcastle deserved the win as
they created the better chances, hitting the bar twice and forcing Forest keeper Keylor Navas to pull off
two stunning saves. But they had to
wait until late on to secure victory.
Cooper’s side who took the lead
after 26 minutes. Former Newcastle midfielder Jon Shelvey’s ball was
met by Botman, but his weak backpass was pounced on by Dennis.
The ex-Watford striker then produced a pinpoint chip over goalkeeper Nick Pope to find the net.
But Newcastle were rewarded for

Alexander
Isak scores
Newcastle’s
equaliser last
night PA

their pressure when Isak somehow
managed to get to a Joe Willock
pass that fell behind him. The Swedish forward’s outstretched right leg
connected and the ball bounced in
off the post.
Howe sent on Anderson at halftime and the 20-year-old came close
to making an instant impact but his
powerful volley was brilliantly kept
out by Navas.

Nottingham Forest (4-2-3-1) Navas;
Aurier, Felipe, Niakhaté, Lodi; Yates
(Freuler, 58), Shelvey (Furtado Scarpa,
90); Johnson, Gibbs-White, Dennis (N Williams,
79); Ayew (Surridge, 79).
Newcastle United (4-3-3) Pope; Trippier, Schär,
Botman, Burn; S Longstaff, Guimaraes, Willock;
Murphy (Ritchie, 85), Isak, Saint-Maximin
(Anderson, h-t).
Booked: Nottingham Forest Dennis, GibbsWhite, Freuler, Navas, Lodi. Newcastle Burn.
Man of the match Isak. Match rating 7/10.
Possession: N Forest 39% Newcastle 61%.
Attempts on target: N Forest 3 Newcastle 4.
Referee P Tierney (Lancs). Attendance 29,362.

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR

Forster proving a rare understudy that fits bill
By Katherine Lucas

Fraser Forster has got used to being
jeered when he plays in goal for Tottenham – but not by his own fans.
The former Celtic goalkeeper, who
celebrated his 35th birthday yesterday, made his debut at Ibrox in front
of a hostile Rangers crowd. The first
competitive game he played at the
Tottenham Hotspur Stadium was
against Portsmouth, who were unforgiving of the eight years he spent
on Southampton’s books.
Forster (right) returns to St
Mary’s today in a happier spot.
Hugo Lloris’s knee injury in February could have been catastrophic
for Spurs’ Champions League hopes
but thanks to their second-choice
stopper, they have kept three clean
sheets, beaten West Ham and Chelsea, and have the chance to consolidate their place in the top four with
a victory over his old side.
Spurs have typically not had such
luck with back-up keepers. Joe
Hart’s Achilles was exposed early
on – anyone could have a go from 20
yards out. Pierluigi Gollini earned
the unfortunate nickname “Goal-­­inny”. Michel Vorm twice made errors

that led to FA Cup exits
aga i n s t L e i ce s ter and Norwich.
Paulo Gazzaniga
was probably the
best of them, but he
inevitably became
dissatisfied with the
lack of game time.
“Forster, he’s been
brilliant, I wouldn’t
think anybody could
criticise him,” former
Spurs goalkeeper Pat
Jennings tells i.
“Poor old Hugo has
been criticised for
half-mistakes. They’re
saying it’s his age, 36
– I was playing in the
World Cup finals on
my 41st birthday.
He’s got a long way
to go to catch up
to that, and how
can you criticise a World
Cup winner?
“He’s been
brilliant over
the years – I
wouldn’t be

thinking about replacing him, he’s
as good as anybody there is out
there at the minute.”
Indeed Antonio Conte has
­confirmed Forster will not oust
Lloris permanently, though that
was never the intention when he
signed. He did not cost Spurs a
penny and has had moments
of inspiration – tipping
Serge Aurier’s header
over the bar against
Nottingham Forest
and saving Andre
Ayew’s penalty.
There have
been slip-ups,
such as his positioning in
the 4-1 defeat
to Leicester
and failing
to deal with
Raul Jimen e z ’s s h o t
against Wolves
that ultimately
l e d t o Ad a m a
Traore’s winner.
That is not necessarily a damning mark
against him – Lloris

too has made four errors leading
directly to goals this season.
“Fraser is showing to be a reliable
player,” Conte said. “He is a really
good person – a fantastic signing for
the club, honestly.”
Lloris could return after the international break, against Everton
on 3 April. By then, they could be
seven points clear in fourth, thanks
in large part to his deputy.
“A week ago, I would have said no
[to Spurs finishing in the top four],”
says former striker Teddy Sheringham. “All of a sudden the results
change around, you go back in a nice
spot. It’ll be a big push, the likes of
Brighton, Liverpool, Newcastle still
want to get in there.
“It’s big money for all those clubs,
it’s a big carrot to dangle – it’s going
to be tough, but why not?”
The Champions League is not
just about money, but at least partly
about the future of Harry Kane. “He
has got to ask himself, is he going to
win things, or is he better off going
somewhere else,” says Sheringham.
The top four looks attainable
whether it is Lloris or Forster in
goal – that has to make him Spurs’
best signing of the summer.

Slip

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

2

PitchBattles
Aston Villa 4-4-2

Bailey

Konsa

Mings

McGinn

Luiz

Moreno
Ramsey

Buendia Watkins
Solanke

Billing

Anthony Rothwell
Kelly

Lerma Ouattara

Senesi Stephens Smith
Neto

Bournemouth 4-4-1-1
Kick-off Today, 3pm
(H­ighlights BBC One, 10.30pm)
Odds Home 4-6 Draw 11-4 Away 4-1
Referee R Jones 1 68
LAST 10 MEETINGS All competitions

B A D A A A B B B B

Southampton 4-2-3-1


Arsenal
Manchester City
Manchester United
Tottenham Hotspur
Newcastle United
Liverpool
Brighton & Hove Albion
Brentford
Fulham
Chelsea
Aston Villa
Crystal Palace
Wolverhampton Wdrs
Nottingham Forest
Everton
Leicester City
West Ham United
Bournemouth
Leeds United
Southampton

Hojbjerg

Lenglet

Porro

Skipp

Dier

Dawson

Romero

S T S D T T T D S T

Manchester City 3-4-3

Neves

Harrison
Firpo

Aït-Nouri

Nunes

Phillips

Grealish

Wöber

Koch

Ayling

Zaroury Barnes

Cullen

Maatsen

Roberts
Ekdal

Muric

Burnley 4-3-3
Kick-off Today, 4.45pm, BBC One
Odds to reach SF Home 1-6 Away 14-1
Referee J Brooks 0 5
LAST TIME IN FAC SEMI-FINAL
Manchester City 2022 Burnley 1974
LAST FA CUP MEETING
R4 2019 Manchester City 5-0 Burnley

Mudryk

Tarkowski Keane

Dunk

Leicester City 4-2-3-1
Kick-off Today, 3pm
(H­ighlights BBC One, 10.30pm)
Odds Home 10-11 Draw 13-5 Away 11-4
Referee D Bond 0 11
LAST 10 MEETINGS All competitions

L L L D L L L L L D

Holding Gabriel

White

Odegaard Partey

Hedges

Coleman

Travis
Carter

RankinCostello

Pears

Blackburn Rovers 4-2-3-1
Kick-off Tomorrow, noon, ITV1
Odds to reach SF Home 3-5 Away 4-1
Referee T Robinson 0 16
LAST TIME IN FAC SEMI-FINAL
Sheffield United 2014 Blackburn 2007
LAST FA CUP MEETING
R6r 1993 Sheffield Utd 2p-2 Blackburn

Xhaka

Trossard Martinelli

Olise

Schlupp

Ayew

Doucouré Milivojevic
Mitchell

Guéhi

Andersen Clyne

Whitworth

Kick-off Tomorrow, 2pm
(H­ighlights BBC One, 10.30pm)
Odds Home 1-4 Draw 19-4 Away 11-1
Referee S Attwell 2 65
LAST 10 MEETINGS All competitions

A D C D D D A D C A

Manchester Utd 4-2-3-1
Butland

Webster

Estupinan

Varane

Dalot

Lindelof

Shaw

McTominay Fred
Mitoma

Buonanotte

Sancho

Orsi

Morris Holohan

Rashford
Fernandes
Elanga
Vinicius

Clifton
Amos

Zinchenko

Crystal Palace 4-2-3-1

McAtee

Szmodics

Pereira

Amartey Souttar
Ward

Ferguson

Gallagher

Hyam

Castagne

Caicedo Gilmour
Sarmiento

McBurnie Ndiaye

Pickering

Gueye

Doucouré

D D E E C E C D E C

Gross

Tete

Dewsbury-Hall Ndidi

Zaha
Iwobi

Kick-off Today, 5.30pm, Sky Sports PL
(H­ighlights BBC One, 10.30pm)
Odds Home 1-2 Draw 3-1 Away 13-2
Referee D England 3 44
LAST 10 MEETINGS All competitions

Lowe
Doyle

Morton

Barnes

Efete

Maher Waterfall Smith
Crocombe

Grimsby Town 3-4-1-2
Kick-off Tomorrow, 2.15pm, BBC One
Odds to reach SF Home 1-8 Away 22-1
Referee J Gillett 1 7
LAST TIME IN FAC SEMI-FINAL
Brighton & Hove 2019 Grimsby T 1939
LAST FA CUP MEETING
R3r 1930 Grimsby T 0-1 Brighton & Hove

Pereira

James
A Robinson

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

95

WEEKEND FOOTBALL FIXTURES
3.0 unless stated
TODAY

Palhinha

Reed

Ream

Diop

6
7
8
9
10

Aston Villa v AFC Bournemouth.............
Brentford v Leicester.........................................
Chelsea v Everton (5.30) TV ............................
Southampton v Tottenham..........................
Wolves v Leeds........................................................

11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
20

Wissa

Iheanacho
Maddison

Sanchez

Norwood

Berge

Dolan

Mbeumo Toney

Saka

Brighton & Hove 4-2-3-1

Robinson

Henry

Damsgaard Norgaard Jensen

Felix

McNeil

Godfrey

Pinnock

Ramsdale

Everton 4-5-1

Sheffield United 3-5-2

Tella

Mee

Hickey

SPORT
90-104

43
44
45
-

Dundee Utd v St Mirren..................................
Kilmarnock v St Johnstone...........................
Livingston v Ross County..............................
Motherwell v Rangers (12.30) TV ..............

2 Man City v Burnley (5.45) TV ........................

Raya

Pickford

L WWWWW D L L W

Egan

MONEY
79-83

Arsenal 4-3-3

James Fernandez Kovacic Chilwell

Onana

Kick-off Today, 3pm
(H­ighlights BBC One, 10.30pm)
Odds Home 6-5 Draw 11-5 Away 12-5
Referee M Salisbury 1 55
LAST 10 MEETINGS All competitions

Baldock

Pts
66
61
50
48
47
42
42
41
39
37
35
27
27
26
25
24
24
24
23
22

Gray

Aaronson Summerville

Basham

A
25
25
35
37
19
29
31
33
37
26
39
34
37
49
38
46
34
51
42
43

W Fofana Koulibaly Badiashile

Havertz

Neto

Leeds United 4-2-3-1

Palmer Alvarez Mahrez

Beyer

Kilman

Foderingham
Laporte

Gudmundsson Cork

F
62
67
41
49
39
47
46
42
38
27
32
21
20
22
20
37
24
25
31
20

Bamford

Ortega

Silva

L
3
4
6
9
3
8
7
5
10
9
11
12
14
13
14
16
14
14
13
17

Meslier

Kick-off Today, 3pm
(H­ighlights BBC One, 10.30pm)
Odds Home 7-2 Draw 5-2 Away 4-5
Referee S Hooper 0 62
LAST 10 MEETINGS All competitions

Foden

D
3
4
5
3
11
6
6
11
6
7
5
9
6
8
7
3
6
6
8
4

Chelsea 3-4-2-1

McKennie Roca

Tottenham Hotspur 3-4-3

Dias

W
21
19
15
15
12
12
12
10
11
10
10
6
7
6
6
7
6
6
5
6

Kepa

Lemina

Forster

Walker

P
27
27
26
27
26
26
25
26
27
26
26
27
27
27
27
26
26
26
26
27

Sarabia Jimenez

Kane Richarlison

Son
Davies

Sulemana

Alcaraz
Adams

Semedo

TRAVEL
71-75

LEICESTER CITY HAVE ONLY LOST TWO OF
THEIR 16 VISITS TO BRENTFORD AND HAVE
WON EACH OF THE LAST SIX

Sa

Bednarek Bella-Kotchap
MaitlandWalkerNiles
Peters
Ward-Prowse Lavia

TV
54-67

Brentford 4-3-3

Wolverhampton 4-3-3

Bazunu

Walcott

PUZZLES
47-52

PREMIER LEAGUE TABLE

Martinez
Cash

LIFE
41-75

Wilson
Tete

Rodak

Fulham 4-2-3-1
Kick-off Tomorrow, 4.30pm, ITV1
Odds to reach SF Home 4-9 Away 6-1
Referee C Kavanagh 0 0
LAST TIME IN FAC SEMI-FINAL
Manchester United 2020 Fulham 2002
LAST FA CUP MEETING
R4 2013 Manchester United 4-1 Fulham

Blackpool v Coventry.........................................
Middlesbrough v Preston...............................
Millwall v Huddersfield...................................
QPR v Birmingham..............................................
Reading v Hull..........................................................
Rotherham v Cardiff...........................................
Stoke v Norwich......................................................
Sunderland v Luton............................................
Watford v Wigan....................................................
P W D L F A Pts
37 24 11 2 74 29 83
Burnley
Sheff Utd
37 21 7 9 58 33 70
Middlesbrough 37 19 7 11 65 42 64
Luton
37 17 12 8 45 34 63
Blackburn
37 19 4 14 43 42 61
Millwall
37 17 9 11 48 39 60
Norwich
37 16 8 13 52 41 56
West Brom
37 15 10 12 47 39 55
Coventry
37 14 12 11 43 36 54
Watford
37 14 12 11 44 39 54
Preston
37 14 11 12 34 39 53
Sunderland
37 14 10 13 52 45 52
Bristol City
37 12 12 13 45 44 48
Stoke
37 13 8 16 48 45 47
Hull
37 12 10 15 42 52 46
Reading
37 13 5 19 39 57 44
Swansea
37 11 10 16 49 57 43
Birmingham 37 11 9 17 41 50 42
QPR
37 11 9 17 38 58 42
Rotherham
37 9 13 15 41 51 40
Cardiff
37 10 9 18 28 41 39
Blackpool
37 8 11 18 39 54 35
Huddersfield 37 8 9 20 31 53 33
Wigan
37 7 12 18 32 58 33

21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30

Accrington v MK Dons......................................
Bristol Rovers v Portsmouth......................
Cambridge Utd v Charlton.............................
Cheltenham v Exeter..........................................
Derby v Fleetwood...............................................
Ipswich v Shrewsbury.......................................
Lincoln City v Peterborough (1).................
Morecambe v Oxford Utd...............................
Plymouth v Forest Green..............................
Port Vale v Burton Albion..............................
Wycombe v Barnsley.........................................
P W D L F A Pts
35 23 9 3 62 23 78
Sheff Wed
Plymouth
36 22 8 6 63 41 74
Ipswich
36 20 12 4 70 31 72
Barnsley
34 20 6 8 55 29 66
Derby
36 18 10 8 59 35 64
Bolton
38 18 10 10 52 31 64
Wycombe
36 18 6 12 50 34 60
Peterborough 36 18 3 15 60 47 57
Shrewsbury
36 16 7 13 47 39 55
Portsmouth
36 14 12 10 49 42 54
Exeter
35 12 10 13 47 45 46
Charlton
36 11 12 13 50 48 45
Lincoln City
35 9 18 8 33 35 45
Bristol Rovers 36 12 9 15 50 58 45
Port Vale
36 12 8 16 36 50 44
Fleetwood Tn 36 10 13 13 37 38 43
Cheltenham
36 11 7 18 29 46 40
Burton Albion 35 10 8 17 44 68 38
Oxford Utd
36 9 9 18 38 48 36
Accrington
35 8 11 16 30 55 35
MK Dons
36 9 6 21 32 54 33
Morecambe
37 7 12 18 36 61 33
Cambridge Utd 36 8 6 22 27 57 30
Forest Green 36 5 8 23 28 69 23

31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40

AFC Wimb’don v Crawley Tn......................
Bradford v Hartlepool (1)................................
Carlisle v Stevenage............................................
Harrogate Tn v Barrow....................................
Leyton Orient v Colchester..........................
Northampton v Crewe......................................
Rochdale v Swindon...........................................
Salford City v Doncaster.................................
Stockport County v Mansfield..................
Tranmere v Newport County.....................
Walsall v Gillingham..........................................
P W D L F A Pts
Leyton Orient 35 21 9 5 46 22 72
Stevenage
35 19 9 7 50 31 66
Carlisle
35 18 10 7 58 35 64
Northampton 36 17 12 7 49 33 63
Stockport C
36 17 8 11 49 31 59
Bradford
35 16 11 8 43 30 59
Salford City
36 16 8 12 54 41 56
Mansfield
34 16 7 11 54 44 55
Sutton Utd
37 15 10 12 40 40 55
Barrow
36 15 7 14 38 41 52
Swindon
35 13 11 11 45 38 50
Doncaster
35 15 5 15 38 46 50
Tranmere
36 13 9 14 35 35 48
Walsall
35 10 15 10 36 32 45
Grimsby
34 12 9 13 37 41 45
AFC Wimbledon 36 10 13 13 38 42 43
Crewe
35 9 15 11 33 44 42
Newport C
36 9 13 14 35 42 40
Gillingham
35 9 11 15 23 37 38
Colchester
36 9 8 19 31 43 35
Harrogate Tn 36 8 11 17 41 54 35
Hartlepool
36 6 12 18 38 64 30
Crawley Town 34 7 8 19 37 58 29
Rochdale
36 6 7 23 29 53 25
P W D L F A Pts
28 26 1 1 90 20 79
Celtic
Rangers
28 22 4 2 68 25 70
Hearts
28 13 6 9 49 40 45
Hibernian
28 12 4 12 44 43 40
Aberdeen
28 12 2 14 43 52 38
St Mirren
28 10 7 11 30 41 37
Livingston
28 10 6 12 29 43 36
St Johnstone 28 9 4 15 32 47 31
Motherwell
28 8 6 14 34 40 30
Ross County 28 6 6 16 24 41 24
Kilmarnock
28 6 6 16 23 50 24
Dundee Utd
28 5 6 17 29 53 21
41 Aberdeen v Hearts................................................
42 Celtic v Hibernian..................................................

46
47
48
49

Hamilton v Ayr.........................................................
Partick v Dundee....................................................
Queen’s Park v Inverness CT.......................
Raith v Cove Rangers.........................................
P W D L F A Pts
Queen’s Park
28 15 6 7 56 37 51
Dundee
27 13 7 7 44 31 46
Partick
28 13 5 10 49 39 44
Ayr
27 12 7 8 50 35 43
Morton
29 11 10 8 41 35 43
Inverness CT 27 9 9 9 38 39 36
Raith
27 9 8 10 33 36 35
Cove Rangers 28 6 8 14 33 56 26
Arbroath
28 4 13 11 25 41 25
Hamilton
27 6 7 14 25 45 25
-

Airdrieonians v Peterhead............................
Alloa v Clyde...............................................................
Dunfermline v FC Edinburgh.....................
Kelty Hearts v Montrose.................................
Queen of the South v Falkirk.......................
P W D L F A Pts
Dunfermline
27 18 8 1 46 16 62
Falkirk
27 16 6 5 56 29 54
FC Edinburgh 28 14 3 11 52 41 45
Alloa
28 13 6 9 44 37 45
Airdrieonians 28 12 7 9 58 43 43
Montrose
27 10 8 9 39 36 38
Queen of South 28 10 6 12 42 46 36
Kelty Hearts 28 9 6 13 33 44 33
Clyde
28 3 6 19 27 55 15
Peterhead
27 2 6 19 13 63 12
-

Bonnyrigg Rose v East Fife..........................
Dumbarton v Albion............................................
Elgin v Stenhousemuir....................................
Forfar v Annan Athletic...................................
Stranraer v Stirling.............................................
P W D L F A Pts
Dumbarton
26 16 5 5 40 24 53
Stirling
25 15 6 4 50 28 51
Annan Athletic 28 11 7 10 50 43 40
East Fife
28 11 6 11 39 43 39
Stenhousemuir 28 10 8 10 44 45 38
Forfar
26 9 7 10 29 33 34
Elgin
27 9 6 12 39 46 33
Stranraer
27 9 5 13 35 45 32
Albion
27 7 6 14 32 36 27
Bonnyrigg R 28 7 6 15 29 44 27
VANARAMA NATIONAL LEAGUE
Barnet v Notts County, Bromley v Wrexham, Dagenham & Redbridge v Oldham,
Eastleigh v Altrincham, FC Halifax v
Yeovil, Gateshead v Torquay, Maidenhead
Utd v Maidstone Utd, Scunthorpe v
Wealdstone, Solihull Moors v Boreham
Wood, Southend v Aldershot, Woking
v Chesterfield (12.30), York v Dorking
Wanderers.
NATIONAL LEAGUE NORTH
AFC Telford v Curzon Ashton, Alfreton Tn
v AFC Fylde, Boston Utd v Bradford P A,
Brackley v Blyth Spartans, Buxton v Farsley Celtic, Chester FC v Scarborough Athletic, Chorley v Banbury Utd, Darlington v
Hereford FC, Gloucester v Kidderminster,
King’s Lynn Tn v Spennymoor Tn, Peterborough Sports v Leamington, Southport
v Kettering. SOUTH: Bath City v St Albans, Chelmsford v Worthing, Concord
Rangers v Dartford, Dover v Hampton &
Richmond, Eastbourne Borough v Slough,
Ebbsfleet United v Dulwich, Farnborough
v Chippenham, Havant and W v Tonbridge
Angels, Hungerford Tn v Braintree Tn,
Oxford City v Cheshunt, Taunton Tn v
Hemel Hempstead, Weymouth v Welling.
GERMAN LEAGUE
Augsburg v Schalke (2.30), Borussia Dortmund v Cologne (5.30), Hoffenheim v Hertha Berlin (2.30), Stuttgart v Wolfsburg
(2.30), VfL Bochum v RB Leipzig (2.30).
DUTCH LEAGUE
Emmen v Sparta (5.45), RKC v NEC Nijmegen (8.0), Utrecht v GA Eagles (3.30).
FRENCH LEAGUE
Lens v Angers (8.0), Toulouse v Lille (4.0).
SPANISH LEAGUE
Almeria v Cadiz (1.0), Atletico Madrid v
Valencia (8.0), Espanyol v Celta Vigo (5.30),
Rayo Vallecano v Girona (3.15).
ITALIAN LEAGUE
Monza v Cremonese (2.0), Salernitana v
Bologna (5.0), Udinese v AC Milan (7.45).
TOMORROW
FA CUP SIXTH ROUND

1 Brighton v Grimsby (2.15) TV ........................
3 Man Utd v Fulham (4.30) TV ..........................
4 Sheffield Utd v Blackburn (12) TV .............
PREMIER LEAGUE
5 Arsenal v Crystal Palace (2)...........................
SKY BET CHAMPIONSHIP
19 Swansea v Bristol City (12.30)....................
WOMEN’S FA CUP QUARTER FINALS
Aston Villa v Man City (6.0), Birmingham
City v Brighton (2.0), Lewes v Man Utd
(12.30), Reading v Chelsea (2.0).
GERMAN LEAGUE
B Leverkusen v B Munich (4.30), Mainz v
Freiburg (6.30), U Berlin v E Frankfurt (2.30).
DUTCH LEAGUE
Ajax v Feyenoord (1.30), Excelsior v
Cambuur (1.30), Groningen v Heerenveen
(11.15), Twente v AZ Alkmaar (7.0), Vitesse
v PSV Eindhoven (3.45).
FRENCH LEAGUE
AC Ajaccio v Monaco (12.0), Montpellier
v Clermont Foot (2.0), Nice v Lorient (2.0),
Paris SG v Rennes (4.05), Reims v Marseille (7.45), Strasbourg v Auxerre (2.0),
Troyes v Brest (2.0).
SPANISH LEAGUE
Barcelona v Real Madrid (8.0), Getafe v
Sevilla (5.30), Osasuna v Villarreal (3.15),
Real Betis v Mallorca (1.0), Real Sociedad
v Elche (3.15).
ITALIAN LEAGUE
Fiorentina v Lecce (2.0), Inter Milan
v Juventus (7.45), Lazio v Roma (5.0),
Sampdoria v Verona (11.30), Torino v
Napoli (2.0).

96

SPORT

PREMIER LEAGUE

ARSENAL

Sporting pain
leaves Gunners
vulnerable in
mind and body
Katherine
Lucas
Before Arsenal were knocked out
of the Europa League by Sporting
on Thursday night, flickers of Tony
Adams, Martin Keown and Sol
Campbell lit up the big screens at
the Emirates.
The great Arsenal championshipwinning sides were built on great
centre-backs – good to watch, but
equally unbreakable and resilient.
This defeat hurt the Gunners.
Both in the practical sense, with William Saliba and Takehiro Tomiyasu
forced off within 21 minutes through
injury, and in more intangible ways
too. There was a subdued resignation among the fans as they left –
there was no real anger, just concern
at what may lie ahead.
Ask Aaron Ramsdale, who was
caught off his line for Pedro Goncalves’ equaliser and failed to save
any of Sporting’s penalties, if he
considered the result a blessing in
disguise ahead of the title run-in. Or
Gabriel Martinelli, who at 21 must
bear the scars of a decisive penalty
being saved, with another chance for
this young group to win a first trophy fizzling away as suddenly as the
brilliant green of the pyrotechnics
lobbed from a euphoric away end.
Arsenal have 11 “finals” to ensure
their European demise will be no
more than a footnote in a historic
campaign. It risks being far more
than that, if it is remembered as the
night that defensively, the wheels
started to fall off.
Manager Mikel Arteta has become reliant on Saliba. During his
loan spells in France, which lasted
three years, Arsenal fans pleaded for
his return. Whether his impact has
been down to good fortune, rather
than good foresight, is up for debate.
The thought that the Gunners
may now have to traverse an alarming run of fixtures (Liverpool, Manchester City and Chelsea feature in
their next seven games) without him
will not be a pleasant one for Arteta.
He said the Frenchman had been

White has a point
to prove, at least to
Gareth Southgate
having been left out
of the England squad
for the Euro qualifiers

Arsenal are now reliant on William
Saliba, who limped off on Thursday

in some “discomfort” as he left the
pitch. Saliba was not wearing any
strapping when he left the ground,
but Tomiyasu departed on crutches,
with Arteta describing his injury as
“looking pretty serious”.
Ben White will discount the injury
to Tomiyasu for now – indeed had
Arteta gone full strength, he would
probably have started anyway – but
herein lies one of the first major
tests of Arsenal’s depth. Mercifully,
it begins with a visit of Crystal Palace, who do not score goals. There
goes that serendipity again. There
is always a risk that will change with
a “new manager bounce”, though
whether they have an immediate replacement in mind for Patrick Vieira
is unclear after his surprise sacking.
White has a point to prove, at least
to Gareth Southgate having been left
out of the England squad for the upcoming Euro 2024 qualifiers. It is not
public knowledge why he was sent
home early from the World Cup and
his international future remains unclear. Take away White, and Arsenal
are without a recognised right-back.
Subtract Saliba and you are still
left with Gabriel Magalhaes, but he is
suddenly partnered by Rob Holding.
This season Holding has managed
a fifth of Saliba’s passing stats relatively in the Premier League, and an
eighth of his tackling success.
Edu, the club’s sporting director,
was wise to bring in another centreback in Jakub Kiwior, particularly as
he is versatile, can play in midfield,
and fits Arteta’s model of developing
young defenders. However, the first
leg at Sporting was a tough debut.
Arsenal will take solace in no longer having to fly around Europe for
Thursday night games to be followed
by even more arduous Sundays in
the title race. Arteta was powerless
to stop the physical blows of a gruelling, bruising night. The real test is
whether he can protect them from
the emotional ones.

CRYSTAL PALACE

DROP FEARS
SPELL END
FOR VIEIRA

D

efensively sturdy but
not so prolific in front
of goal. Crystal Palace
might not have been the
complete embodiment
of Patrick Vieira in his
playing days, but it certainly looked as though
he was trying to sculpt a football
team in the image of one of the
Premier League’s most formidable
defensive midfielders.
But time and patience finally ran
out for Vieira yesterday, when a 12game winless run caused such nervous twitches at Crystal Palace that
they pressed the emergency button
to terminate his contract.
The news, i was told, will have
been received with sadness by
many at Crystal Palace. Vieira
leaves as a hugely popular figure
who might have been afforded a little more time, especially with a run
of more winnable games coming up.
“Very approachable,” was how one
Palace source described him.
In any other season, 12th in the
Premier League with 11 games
remaining would be seen as a comfortable position for Palace. But, if
anything, Vieira has been swallowed
up by what is possibly the tightest
relegation battle in Premier League
history: five points between them
and Southampton at the bottom.
There was a huge sense of reluctance from Palace chairman Steve
Parish to sack Vieira, having been
impressed as he led the club to a
12th-placed finish last season, with
a longing glance at the European
places for a brief period halfway
through, as well as the FA Cup
semi-finals, all while playing highly
entertaining football.
During that Premier League sea-

WINLESS RUN UNDER VIEIRA
4 Jan Tottenham (h) Lost 4-0
7 Jan Southampton (h) Lost 2-1 (FA Cup)
15 Jan Chelsea (a)
Lost 1-0
18 Jan Man United (h) Drew 1-1
21 Jan Newcastle (h) Drew 0-0
4 Feb Man United (a) Lost 2-1
11 Feb Brighton (h)
Drew 1-1
18 Feb Brentford (a)
Drew 1-1
25 Feb Liverpool (h)
Drew 0-0
4 Mar Aston Villa (a) Lost 1-0
11 Mar Man City (h)
Lost 1-0
15 Mar Brighton (a)
Lost 1-0

Sam
Cunningham
CHIEF FOOTBALL
CORRESPONDENT

son they conceded just 1.2 goals per
game. This season, it has slightly
increased to 1.3 goals, but they have
still let in fewer goals than Manchester United and Tottenham.
Even now, there remains the nagging feeling that had Parish held on
for just a little longer, things could
have turned around. In Vieira’s last
10 Premier League games, Palace
lost and drew five times, yet they
conceded a maximum of one goal
each game, apart from the two
against Manchester United.
The run included conceding only
once in defeats by Manchester City
and Chelsea, goalless draws with
Liverpool and Newcastle, and a
1-1 draw with Manchester United.
Such fine margins ultimately cost
Vieira his job.
As always in football there are
many ways of looking at things, of
weighing up the numbers to assess
progression, but no shots on target
in three Premier League games
during that period puts that run in a
different light.
And a Palace source wondered to
i whether, perhaps, one of Vieira’s
weaknesses was that he didn’t quite
understand that footballers weren’t
as self-motivated as he was in his
playing days. Unlike Vieira and
many of the ex-stars now trying to
make their way in management,
a lot of modern players need their
pathway mapped out for them, with
close guidance and care.
“It is with enormous regret that
this difficult decision has been
made,” Parish said. “Ultimately, results in recent months have placed
us in a precarious league position
and we felt a change is necessary to
give us the best chance of retaining
Premier League status.
“That said, Patrick’s impact since
joining us in the summer of 2021 has
been significant, and he is held in
the highest regard by myself, and all
of his colleagues.
“He led the team to a Wembley
FA Cup semi-final and respectable
12th-placed finish last season playing some exciting football, which
was a challenging and crucial

Patrick Vieira was
a popular figure at
Crystal Palace
GETTY

campaign for the club given the
changes we made to the squad prior
to his arrival.”
It is easy to see why people at
Palace liked Vieira. He would often
be seen leaving the club’s Beckenham training ground long after the
players had gone home, and was
frequently spotted watching the
academy players train and play,
thinking of ways to bring them into
the first-team fold.
Parish was clear during the
interview process that he regards

Slip

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

Parish: It’s
just football,
Patrick is a
great guy
By Rachel Steinberg

integrating players from the
academy, who now train in a £20m
facility opened in 2021, into the first
team as an important focus for any
Palace manager.
One issue this season has been
trying to replace Conor Gallagher,
after his season-long loan from
Chelsea last year, which has been
difficult. But that relationship at
least points to Vieira’s ability to get
the best out of a talented young
footballer, who has still not quite
cracked it back at his parent club.

Questions have been raised about
the quality of Vieira’s backroom
staff team – whether his picks were
quite good enough, if they matched
his ability or were capable of realising his vision.
Meanwhile, Michael Carrick has
been mooted as a replacement, following an impressive five months at
Middlesbrough. Carrick is another
former elite midfielder who could
get Palace ticking if he were able to
reproduce in a squad the ethos and
work ethic of his playing days.

Crystal Palace chairman Steve
Parish insisted the mood around
his club remains optimistic
following Patrick Vieira’s
sacking, and threw his full faith
behind former captain Paddy
McCarthy against Arsenal.
A club statement confirmed
McCarthy will occupy the
manager’s seat when Palace
travel to meet the Premier
League leaders tomorrow. The
under-21s coach is set to be
supported by his
assistant at that
level, Darren
Powell, and
retained
first-team
goalkeeping
coach Dean
Kiely. Palace
held on to 12th
place for nine
straight weeks but
their recent run of form
– 12 matches across all competitions without a win and just five
goals – ultimately forced the
ownership’s hand after teams
lower down the table closed the
gap to leave the south London
side just three points clear of the
relegation zone.
“The players are fine and
everybody is looking forward to
Sunday, really,” Palace co-owner
Parish (above) told Sky Sports.
“The feeling is good. You know,
everybody loved Patrick, genuinely. The players had all the time
in the world for him. You saw
from the performances he never
lost the players at all, they were
all running and playing for him.
“I think things just weren’t
happening, so the mood was
good, it was fine, but obviously
we’re hoping that there’s a bit of
fresh impetus, different ideas.
“We’ve got good players, we’ve
got a good squad, we’ve got good
lads. They follow Patrick and
they will follow Paddy and they
will follow Darren and they will
do the best for the football club.
“Everybody is positive and
wants to do their best and
believes that we can win football
matches. I’m not going to tell
you it’s amazing today because
Patrick is gone, because Patrick
is a great guy and people loved
working with him.
“I’m sure he will go on and be
as successful as he was last year
for us somewhere else, and he
will maybe learn from the bits
where it lost its way a little bit,
and I really hope he does. It’s just
football, isn’t it?”
Palace are the only Premier
League team without a win in
2023 and Vieira’s replacement –
temporary or permanent – will
have just 11 games to secure
their survival in the top flight,
though eight are against sides
currently lower down the table.

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

97

MANCHESTER UNITED

Personal touch
from Ratcliffe
a clever tactic
Mark
Douglas
NORTHERN FOOTBALL
CORRESPONDENT

At around 9.45am yesterday morning, Sir Jim Ratcliffe stepped out of
black Mercedes, briefcase in hand
and into a warm welcome at the
doors of Old Trafford from Manchester United Chief Executive
Richard Arnold.
They’d rolled out the red carpet
but not especially. The parade of
potential owners has been in full
flow all week and Ratcliffe’s presence was just the latest chapter of
this extraordinary takeover story.
It also seemed to be a deliberate message after his chief rival
Sheikh Jassim Bin Hamad Al
Thani did not make a personal trip
from Doha for the meetings. Ratcliffe has branded his bid as “for
the fans” and being visible and approachable around Old Trafford
for 24 hours could be construed as
a sign of things to come if his offer
jumps through the hoops of beating off stiff competition from Qatar
and the US and also convinces the
Glazers to cash in.
Ratcliffe’s play is that he’d be
accountable and his presence
showed how personally invested
he is. It also threw into sharp contrast how relatively little we know
about Al Thani and his bid, which
has been pitched as an investment
by a private individual rather than
the state-sponsored takeovers at
Newcastle and Manchester City.
Al Thani’s access to vast resources is undisputed but there
only appears to be one confirmed
photograph of the Sandhurst-educated lifelong Manchester United
fan. Search for Ratcliffe (below)
on Google and you’ll get a wealth
of information.
The Qataris would counter that the meetings
this week were about
the financials, not the
football, so why would
he attend?
Al Thani sent his most
senior personal advisor
Fady Bakhos, whose expertise spans banking and real
estate to the north west alongside
Shahzad Shahbaz, the president of
the Nine Two Foundation and Sam
Powers from Bank of America.
Sources close to the process
described them as “world leading
experts” and said that over ten
intensive hours on Thursday relationships were solidified. That was
needed after suspicions in recent
weeks that the Glazers aren’t actually all that serious about selling.
Those fears have been allayed
by the tone and detail that was
divulged in a series of presenta-

Yet another
Spanish test
for United in
quarter-final
By Ian Whittell

Manchester United face Sevilla
in the Europa League quarterfinals, seeking to avoid another
Spanish disaster.
The Reds have seen their
European campaigns ended
by teams from that country in
each of the last five seasons.
And having swept past
Seville-based Real Betis easily
in the last 16, manager Erik ten
Hag must now face another
opponent from the same city.
Sevilla have won the Europa
League a record six times from
2006-20, and Ten Hag said:
“Back to Sevilla and, as you say,
they have a very good record
we have to be aware of it.
“It is going to be tough,
they are very experienced in
the Europa League, won it so
many times.”
However, Sevilla are
­struggling domestically this
season and currently sit 13th
in La Liga.
The winners of United’s
tie face Juventus or Sporting
Lisbon in the semi-final.

tions this week. Everything from
commercial contracts to the club’s
property portfolio – with their approach to data and recruitment
in between – was covered and the
Qatari team at least walked away
“more committed than ever” to
buying the club, according to sources close to
the process.
Al Thani’s team are
confident theirs is the
best bid and “the best
bid for United”. Ratcliffe – flanked by Ineos
director of sport Dave
Brailsford – believes the
same and will lodge his second
bid by the middle of next week.
The flurry of activity almost
makes you forget how tangled the
political and ethical considerations
are – but a Greenpeace statement
released to coincide with Ratcliffe’s
visit should focus minds.
“It’s worrying that the Man Utd
bidding process has turned into a
dirty derby between entities linked
to fossil fuels,” it read. “Whichever way this goes, the winner
won’t be the climate.” A sobering
reminder, among the breathless
takeover talk.

98

SPORT

FA CUP

KOMPANY
MANCHESTER CITY v BURNLEY

With his Burnley side heading for a return to
the top flight after his first season in charge, the
former Manchester City captain faces his old
club with the plaudits ringing loud and clear

D

ay one for Vincent
Kompany at Burnley’s
Barnfield training base
and his new charges
have been called into
the staff canteen.
After brief
introductions to his
backroom staff Kompany speaks
for nearly 12 minutes. His oratory
is clear, emphatic and precise,
peppered with humility and the odd
dash of humour as he maps out the
journey the club will go on with him.
The players hang off every word.
“I was never as good as the
players I played with,” he says at
one point. “Ask anyone that I played
with and they’ll tell you my biggest
strength was what I did behind the
scenes, making every guy in the
squad get better.
“One year I was injured 50 per
cent of the time but I came in for
the last 10 games, lifted the trophy
and it looked like I had an amazing
season. Fifty per cent of the time
I wasn’t there but what I was
doing was in the gym when there
was a teammate feeling down or
overthinking things like footballers
do, worrying that the manager
didn’t like him, I spoke to him and
reassured him.
“The key thing is: lift everyone
around you, all the time.”
Kompany has certainly done that
at a club besieged by uncertainty
when he walked through the door.
Burnley’s daunting transition
year has become a soaring
Championship tour de force, the
departed players replaced astutely

Vincent Kompany takes instructions
from mentor Pep Guardiola in 2018

Mark
Douglas
NORTHERN FOOTBALL
CORRESPONDENT

and the mentality transformed
completely. They travel to
Manchester City for today’s FA
Cup quarter-final backed by 7,800
travelling supporters and just three
wins away from an immediate
return to the Premier League.
In that initial meeting
Kompany told the players
“you have more football
in you”, and true to his
word he has moulded
an attack-minded team
that plays at full throttle.
They have scored 74
goals in 37 games.
“It doesn’t surprise me
that he has been such a big
success. Vinny is always one step
ahead,” his close friend and former
teammate Joleon Lescott tells i.
Lescott was Kompany’s centreback partner in the Manchester
City side that smashed through
the club’s glass ceiling. They lined
up together on Aguero day in 2012
when the first Premier League title
of the Abu Dhabi era was won so
dramatically. They were brothers
on and off the field.
“He was only 23, 24 when I
arrived but you could immediately
see how professional he was,”
Lescott recalls. “Of course Vinny
was a very good player but there
was – and still is – something
else about him. He left no stone
unturned in terms of how to get the
best out of himself and that’s how he
became a world-class centre-back.
“We had a dressing room full of
leaders and that really benefited
him because he’s like a sponge in
terms of wanting to learn. He took
something from them all.
“Vinny’s very single-minded
in terms of where he wants to go
and what he wants to achieve but
he’s also a sponge for taking in
information and innovation. If he
sees an opportunity to learn, he will
take that – whether he’s learning
from someone’s mistakes or from
someone’s positive impact.
“It’s not just football, it’s how
he sees life, business, coaching.
Whatever field he wanted to
succeed in, he could.”

A brilliant player
and hugely promising
coach, those close to
Kompany insist he is
an even better man.
He has a Masters
degree in business,
speaks seven languages,
manages an extensive
property portfolio and
has raised millions to combat
homelessness in Manchester
through his Tackle4MCR
initiative. He is a man of integrity
and conviction.
Those values have made
him a good fit at Burnley.
“He’s definitely got
something very, very
special,” Alastair
Campbell tells i.
Campbell (left)
wears many hats these
days – author, podcaster,
acerbic critic of a flailing
Conservative government.
But as a passionate supporter of
Burnley and a man who literally
wrote the book on leadership,
he is well-placed to offer insight
into what makes Kompany such a
natural manager.
“A few years ago I went to
Manchester City
to interview
Raheem
Sterling for GQ
and Vicky Kloss
[City’s former chief
communications officer]
was looking after me,” he says.
“After I’d spoken to Raheem,
Vincent Kompany was still there
after everyone else had left and I
had a very brief chat with him.
“I remember really well that Vicky
said two things to me after that.
The first was that Vincent was the
nicest bloke you’ll ever meet and the
second was that he’s just got an aura
about him and leads by example.”
The demands he puts on his
players are high, the standards
exacting. But the Burnley squad
have responded and then some.
Campbell tells a story of trying to
set up lunch with one of the players
he knows well a fortnight ago. A
couple of texts were sent trying to
set it up, the first in the morning
followed by an early afternoon
message. Eventually his phone
pinged with a reply at 5pm and an
apology. “He told me they’d only
just finished training,” Campbell
says. “They’d done two training

They absolutely love
him and you can see
the respect on the
pitch, the ­players
look over to him
­during the game

sessions with a team meeting in
between. He works them bloody
hard.” No one in the squad is
complaining. “The players I know
say his work ethic and ethos is just
phenomenal. They absolutely love
him and you can see the respect
on the pitch, they look over to him
during the game. Even the subs look
happy when they warm up at halftime,” Campbell adds.
Kompany’s bond with supporters

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

MAN
Vincent Kompany walks out to train
with Manchester City teammate and
good friend Joleon Lescott in 2011

is strong, too. He has taken time
to understand the role that the
club plays in its community and
recognises what a source of pride
it would be for such a small town to
once again have a presence in the
Premier League.
Matt Moss from the No Nay Never
podcast says today is “a chance to
show the world what we’ve achieved
in the nine months he’s been here.
“There’s no doubt in my mind that

Vincent Kompany
has been the key
to Burnley’s
recovery and
incredible form
this season,” Moss
continues.
“He has made
going to Turf Moor an
enjoyable experience
again. We know that we
won’t be able to hold on to
him for long, but boy are we
enjoying the experience of having
him in charge while it lasts.”
Today in the FA Cup quarter-final
there is a chance to see whether the
swagger of Burnley’s new approach
survives contact with a world-class
opponent in Pep Guardiola’s City.
It is a fascinating meeting between
managerial master and student.
It is not kidology or mind games
from the Catalan when he says that
his natural successor at the Etihad
is Kompany. He really believes it.
“I can definitely see that,” Lescott
says. “It makes sense to put that out
there and suggest that, and it would
make sense for that to happen down
the line. The next man after Pep?
I’d be surprised if that was the case
because it’s going to be a tough job
for anyone to take. But for all the
factors that Pep mentioned – his
history with the club, the fans, the
understanding of what it takes to
play for Man City and win stuff at
that level – it makes sense.”
First, though, there are summits
to scale in East Lancashire.
“Having spoken to him recently
I don’t think he’s in a rush to do
that,” Lescott adds. “He’s aware
of what the process will take and
where he needs to develop as a
coach and a manager.”
Then he pauses before delivering
the pay-off. “Whenever that
opportunity comes, I know Vinny
will be ready.”

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

‘Guardiola
has to stop
tipping me as
replacement
at Etihad’
By Ian Whittell
and Stuart Brennan

Vincent Kompany has pleaded
with Pep Guardiola to stop
anointing him as the next
Manchester City manager.
The two City legends meet in
the FA Cup quarter-finals today
when Kompany takes Burnley,
the runaway Championship
leaders, to the Etihad.
The City manager has repeatedly tipped Kompany as his
replacement although the
timing of his latest endorsement seemed to momentarily
fluster his former captain.
“He’s got to stop saying it,”
joked Kompany. “I’m a Championship manager. I don’t know
what you want from me.
“I keep saying, he is trying to
win the Champions League, I am
trying to win the Championship, so I don’t think those kind
of conversations make sense.
“I think he should stay for
another 10 years at Manchester
City, first and foremost. They
need to have the best manager
of the world. I want to be
extremely respectful to the club
I manage as well. This club to me
means everything. I want this
club to get better.”
Kompany will get a hero’s
welcome at Manchester City
today, but the “new” model is
already in full working order.
Guardiola will head the
queue of people wanting to
show their appreciation but he
is certain that in Ruben Dias
he has found the ideal man to
take over his mantle as captain,
inspiration and motivator.
Dias has been a cornerstone
of two successive Premier
League titles for the Blues,
and since his return from a
hamstring injury he picked up
at the World Cup, has been a
key reason Guardiola’s side are
unbeaten in nine games.

Tough draws
for both City
and Chelsea
Manchester City and Chelsea
were both handed tough Champions League quarter-final ties
but will meet in the last four if
they advance. The Blues face
holders and record 14-time
winners Real Madrid, managed
by former Chelsea boss Carlo
Ancelotti, with the first leg
taking place in Spain.
City manager Pep Guardiola
will also be returning to an old
side after being drawn against
Bayern Munich.
Full draw, P90

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

99

BRIGHTON v GRIMSBY

Mariners determined
not to be deflated, even
if they end up battered
By Oliver Young-Myles

An unfortunate consequence
of Grimsby’s giant-killing run
to the FA Cup quarter-final
is that the demand for Harry
Haddock inflatables seems to have
outstripped supply.
“My Harry Haddock died at
Southampton,” Kelly Billings of the
Mariners Trust tells i. “I got a bit
excited at the second penalty
and he sort of deflated – a
sad death. I went to get
another one yesterday
but we’ve sold out.”
St Mary’s became
awash with blow-up fish
(right) as Grimsby fans
revelled in an unlikely
victory that ensured a
first FA Cup quarter-final
appearance since before the
Second World War, at Premier
League Brighton. Just under 5,000
Grimsby fans are expected to make
the trip.
The toy fish haven’t always
been welcomed by opposition
clubs, however, and Southampton
initially threatened to confiscate
supporters’ beloved mascots
ahead of the fifth-round tie, before
performing a U-turn after a
backlash. Brighton have taken an
altogether different approach by
fighting fire with fire. Inflatable
seagulls have been hastily added to
the club’s online shop at the bargain
price of £3 each.
The Mariners, 15th in League
Two after promotion last season,
have already beaten five clubs from
higher divisions: Plymouth Argyle,
Cambridge United, Burton Albion,
Luton Town and Southampton.
They will be the first fourthtier club to play a quarter-final
since Cambridge in 1990 and the
exploits of manager Paul Hurst, in
his second spell in charge, and his
squad have not gone unnoticed.
The town has been given a
welcome boost.

“Grimsby, let’s be honest, when
it’s in the papers it tends to not be
for a good reason,” supporter Alex
Green tells i. “It’s usually Grimsby
is one of the top 10 worst places
to live in the UK, so this is a great
opportunity to put it in the spotlight
for something more than that. It
has had a rebirth as a hub of green
energy and the positivity is not just
around the football club but the
town itself too.”
Although Grimsby have
defied the odds each step
of the way, high-flying
Brighton represent by
far their biggest test.
Roberto De Zerbi’s side
are one of the Premier
League’s most in-form
teams and been beaten
just once in 12 games in 2023.
Unlike Southampton, they are
not preoccupied with a relegation
battle but instead targeting
European football. This is a golden
opportunity to win a first FA Cup.
“The eternal hope in me, as a
long-standing Grimsby Town fan,
is we might sneak a 1-0 win,” says
Billings. “Whatever the outcome,
I’m so proud of the team and
the fans because it’s an amazing
achievement for a little club like
Grimsby Town to reach the quarterfinals of the FA Cup.”
“If they are on their game they
could absolutely batter us, pardon
the pun,” admits Green.
The Cup run has encapsulated
the feel-good factor that has
seeped into the club. Owners Jason
Stockwood and Andrew Pettit
have pledged to reinvest every
penny – about £1m – into next
season’s playing budget, with the
aim of assembling a squad that can
compete at the top of League Two.
Whatever their fate, the Mariners
are a source of immense local pride.
And they have helped return Harry
Haddock to celebrity status – 34
years after his first appearance, at
an FA Cup tie at Wimbledon.

SHEFFIELD UNITED v BLACKBURN ROVERS

Tomasson: I’d have preferred
to face Premier League team
Jon Dahl Tomasson would have
preferred Blackburn to be playing a
Premier League side at home in the
FA Cup quarter-finals rather than
travelling to Championship rivals
Sheffield United tomorrow.
Rovers are aiming to reach the last
four for the first time since 2006-07.
They won 2-1 at Leicester in the
last round, having beaten West Ham
on penalties in the Carabao Cup.
Tomasson said: “I would actually
have rather played a Premier League
side at home.
“First of all to give our fans the experience, and second, it’s also nice to
try to win against a Premier League

side – we’ve been able to do that
twice this season.”
Blackburn’s FA Cup run has also
featured victories at Norwich and
Birmingham, the latter in a replay.
“It’s crazy, we’re playing every
game away,” Tomasson added. “We
are doing well when we are playing
away, but I would rather have played
at home because I think our fans deserve a home game at this stage.”
Rovers will be without on-loan
winger Sorba Thomas, who is cuptied having played for parent club
Huddersfield this season. Keeper
Thomas Kaminski is near a return
from a knee injury but will not play.

100

SPORT

FORMULA ONE

Kevin
Garside
CHIEF SPORTS
CORRESPONDENT

F

ernando Alonso was one
of the first through the
gates on the season’s
opening day in Bahrain.
The paddock paparazzi
standing sentry to
­capture the arrivals
were grateful for an early
banker and noted how chipper
he looked, giving off anything but
fortysomething vibes.
Alonso (below) is practised at
the grand entrance, as you would
expect after making them for 21
years, and would have known the
value of arriving unaccompanied
by members of the Aston Martin
retinue, offering a clean shot of
the only component that matters,
the driver.
He skipped through, a broad
smile creasing his handsome
features. A brief detour delivered
him into the embrace of Moko, the
Chrome Hearts jewellery designer
and paddock fixture who was
taking in the first-day atmosphere.
The exchange was revealing in so
much as it demonstrated not only
a driver at ease but also energised,
keen, eager to crack on.
After driving to what was only his
second podium in nine years two
days later, we understood a little
more of the substance behind Aston
Martin’s astonishing development
over the winter and the optimism
fuelling Alonso’s Indian summer.
There are, of course, the usual
caveats. Bahrain’s abrasive circuit
was more of a handicap to Ferrari
and Mercedes than an Aston
Martin kinder to its tyres. Saudi
Arabia and Australia will provide a
more accurate assessment of Aston
Martin’s capabilities, but as
Alonso counters, this is just
the start of the learning
curve with this car.
Even if their rivals, in
chasing the peerless Red
Bulls, gain an uplift here
and in Melbourne, the
developmental
potential at Aston
Martin is greater
since they
have more to
discover about
the behaviour of
the AMR23. And
they have greater

No complaints if
Hamilton moves
away, says Wolff
By Philip Duncan
IN JEDDAH

Toto Wolff has admitted he
would not blame Lewis Hamilton
for seeking a move away from
Mercedes if the once-dominant
team fail to reverse their slump.
Hamilton’s £40m-a-year
contract expires at the end of the
season and Wolff’s team have made
a poor start to the 2023 campaign.

THE SECRETS OF
ASTON MARTIN’S
FAST START
research and development capacity
courtesy of a handicap system that
compensates teams lower down the
field with more wind tunnel time.
Though Ferrari and Mercedes
have the edge in straight-line speed,
the new-look Aston generates
more downforce and was far more
efficient through the corners. And
in Alonso’s hands the car was a
scalpel through turns nine and 10,
where he accounted first for Lewis
Hamilton and later Carlos Sainz,
both of whom had no answer on
fading rubber.
Alonso warned at the car
launch at Silverstone that
Aston Martin was a team
with which to be
reckoned, if at that
point he believed
race wins would
be hard to
secure in
2023. He was
bluffing. The
team were armed
with wind tunnel
and simulator data
projections that
Hamilton came fifth in the first
round in Bahrain before he finished
a distant 11th in practice for this
weekend’s Saudi Arabian Grand
Prix yesterday, one second adrift of
Red Bull’s Max Verstappen.
Team principal Wolff remains
convinced that the seven-time
world champion, 38, will sign a new
deal but admitted: “If Lewis wants
to win another ­championship he
needs to make sure he has the car.
“And if we cannot demonstrate
that we are able to give him a car in
the next couple of years then he will
need to look everywhere.
“I don’t think he is doing it at this
stage, but I will have no complaints

would be substantiated on day one
of the pre-season test in Bahrain.
Alonso was less equivocal about
the long-term prospects of an
organisation investing heavily
in a competitive future. He was
persuaded to leave the fourth-best
performer of 2022, Alpine, a team
backed by the manufacturer heft
of Renault, by a charismatic owner
with insane ambition. The former
Jordan facility at Silverstone is
already unrecognisable as the
factory continues its £200m
expansion, with a new wind tunnel
to come online in 2024 as part of a
37,000 square metre upgrade.
A pristine new home set out over
three distinct buildings connected
by bridges speaks of big cat desire,
of ego and muscular determination,
characteristics that have made a
billionaire of Lawrence Stroll and
are transforming Aston Martin
into the Ferrari of the shires. If the
fabric of the building is impressive,
so too has been a stop-at-nothing
recruitment policy that saw Stroll
bag the biggest brains from the
best teams, including the lead
if that happens in a year or two.”
Yesterday the British driver
announced a sudden split from his
long-time ally and performance
coach Angela Cullen, saying “we all
need a kick”.
Verstappen’s arrival in Jeddah
was delayed by 24 hours with a
stomach bug, but the double world
champion set the fastest times in
both practice sessions.
In the day’s second running he
finished two tenths clear of Aston
Martin’s Fernando Alonso, with
Sergio Perez third in the other Red
Bull. Mercedes’ George Russell was
fifth with the British driver half a
second back from Verstappen.

aerodynamicists from Red Bull
and Mercedes.
Dan Fallows, who worked
alongside Adrian Newey in making
Red Bull the class of the field
under the new regulations, was
appointed technical director with
Mercedes guru Eric Blandin, the
architect of Brackley’s hybrid era
dominance, joining as his deputy.
Under Fallows and Blandin, Aston
Martin have made brilliant use of
Mercedes’ powertrain and gearbox
in a car birthed from the Mercedes
wind tunnel. Alonso is the final
component, an alchemist spinning
gold from the moving parts.
The appropriation of Mercedes
powertrain technology married to
aero principles brazenly borrowed
from Red Bull have catapulted
Aston Martin into unchartered
territory and given Alonso scope to
consider what was unimaginable
when he committed his signature to
Aston Martin six months ago.
To witness Alonso scythe past
Hamilton on the inside of turn 10,
drawing the exclamation “yes, let’s
go”, and reel in Sainz at the same

spot on lap 45, “yes, bye bye”, was to
hail a Tardis to 2005 when he was
hunting down Ferrari in a Renault
and taking Michael Schumacher on
the outside of Suzuka’s formidable
130R. That commitment at 180mph
moved the ITV commentator to say
he had never seen anything like it.
The episode signalled the end of
Schumacher’s F1 hegemony and
alerted the world to the potential
of a 23-year-old who within weeks
would become F1’s youngest
champion. Had owner Ron Dennis
managed better the dynamic
between Alonso and Hamilton
in 2007, McLaren would almost
certainly have taken Alonso to a
third world championship.
Alonso has always been popular,
but he is collecting admirers by
the million as F1’s burgeoning new
audience flocks to the story of 2023.
And if you believe in number magic,
the one that adorns Alonso’s car, 14,
is that which took him to his first
international kart title in Genk,
aged 14 on 14 July 1996. Now invert
his age and tell me there is nothing
cosmic going on.

ROUND 2

SAUDI ARABIA

Jeddah Corniche
Laps 50

Race
distance

Length

191.82 miles
(308.45km)

3.84 miles
es
(6.17km))

3 62mph
0 Gear
3 62mph

8 180mph

7 146mph

TV

8 174mph
7 155mph

8
180mph

8 177mph

6 109mph
6 106mph

ish
fin
/
t
ar
St

7 146mph

Lap record

L Hamilton

(Mercedes)
2021, 1:30.734sec

QUALIFYING Today: Sky Sports F1, 5pm GMT RACE Tomorrow: Sky Sports F1, 5pm

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

RUGBY UNION SIX NATIONS FRANCE v WALES

Galthié still looks
for improvement
after record win

After demolishing England with
a performance that made him cry
with joy, France head coach Fabien
Galthié wants his entertainers to
finish the Six Nations in style with a
home win against Wales today.
The defending champions even
have an outside chance of keeping their title. But they must win
at Stade de France and hope
No 1-ranked Ireland then slip up at
home to an England side reeling
from last weekend’s 53-10 hammering by Les Bleus.
It was England’s third heaviest
defeat ever, a humiliation made
even worse by France’s highest
score and largest margin of victory
in 110 meetings with their old rival.
Four of France’s seven tries were by
­forwards who ran like centres, such
was the attacking threat throughout
the side.
Scrum-half Antoine Dupont was
so good the English crowd briefly
forgot the torture being inflicted,
giving him a standing ovation
when he came off.
“The Twickenham match
gave us a lot of satisfaction,
we can’t hide that,” said
Galthié (right), who did
not try to hide his tears
of joy. “But we also saw
some room for improvement. We could have
played better with the ball
and without the ball,
done better in
our transitional play.”
Striving
for per-

fection typifies Galthié, whose team
won every match last year – including against every other side in the
top 10 – on their way to a nationalrecord 14-game winning streak.
It ended when the indomitable
Irish won 32-19 last month to stamp
their authority on this tournament.
But Galthié does not want to lose
any momentum from the England
game in what is the No 2-ranked
side’s last official Test before cranking up their bid to win the World Cup
for the first time.
The tournament is on home soil
and the three-time runners-up have
a mouth-watering opener against
three-time champions New Zealand
at Stade de France on 8 September.
Galthié expects 2021 Six Nations
champions Wales to offer a sterner
test than their poor form suggests.
“Two years ago, this Wales side
were two minutes away from winning the Grand Slam in our stadium,” Galthié said, referring to
France’s 32-30 win. “Two seasons isn’t a long time ago and
there are players in that
side who won three Grand
Slams and five [Six Nations] tournaments.”
Wales captain Ken
Owens accepts his side
will need to hit another
level against France if they
are to beat them, saying:
“No one is expecting anything from us after
France’s performances in
this competition.”

STADE DE FRANCE LINEUPS

Kick-off Today, 2.45pm GMT Television ITV1/S4C
Referee N Berry (Aus)

France
T Ramos
D Penaud
E Dumortier
15
14
11
13 G Fickou
12 J Danty
9
10
R Ntamack A Dupont (capt)
8
G Alldritt

7
C Ollivon

5
R Taofifénua

4
T Flament

6
F Cros

3
U Atonio

2
J Marchand

1
C Baille

1
W Jones

2
K Owens (capt)

3
T Francis

7
J Tipuric

4
A Beard

5
AW Jones
8
T Faletau

D Biggar 10
9
R Webb
N Tompkins 12
13 G North
11
15
R Dyer
L Rees-Zammit

6
A Wainwright

14
J Adams

Wales
REPLACEMENTS
France: 16 P Mauvaka 17 R Wardi 18 S Falatea
19 B Chalureau 20 S Macalou 21 M Lucu
22 Y Moefana 23 M Jaminet
Wales: 16 B Roberts 17 G Thomas 18 D Lewis
19 D Jenkins 20 T Reffell 21 T Williams 22 O Williams
23 L Halfpenny

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

101

SCOTLAND v ITALY

Ritchie: Now is the time
for a complete display
ahead of World Cup
By Anthony Brown

Jamie Ritchie believes a strong performance against Italy and a thirdplace finish behind the top two sides
in the world will seal a positive Six
Nations campaign for Scotland.
Back-to-back defeats by France,
ranked second in the world, and the
top-ranked Ireland mean Scotland
can no longer claim silverware from
a tournament that started with wins
over England and Wales. But ­Ritchie
feels there is still plenty at stake
going into today’s campaign finale at
Murrayfield as Gregor Townsend’s
side bid to make it three wins out of
five and finish third for the first time
since 2018.
“I outlined our goal of five good
performances and I think we’re at
three and a half just now,” said the
captain. “To get it up to four and a
half would be good so we’re looking
for a strong performance. To secure
that third place outright would be
a positive.
“We shouldn’t change our application based on the opposition.
For us it’s about maintaining the
same standards. I don’t think we’ve
put out that complete 80-minute
performance so tomorrow’s the
day, hopefully.”
Ritchie believes it would represent a solid building block ahead of
the World Cup in the autumn if Scotland can get the win that all but guarantees they will finish as best of the
rest behind the two clear big-hitters.
“Arguably against France for the
majority of the game we were the
team in the ascendancy,” he said,
pointing out Scotland had troubled
the world’s elite. “We put ourselves
under pressure with a slow start
but for huge parts of that game, I believed we could go on and win it.
“There will be a huge amount
o f p o s i t i ve s t o t a ke o u t o f
the tournament.”

MURRAYFIELD LINEUPS

Kick-off Today, 12.30pm Television BBC One
Referee A Gardner (Aus)

Scotland
O Smith
K Steyn
D van der Merwe
15
14
11
13 H Jones
12 S Tuipulotu
9
10
B Kinghorn B White
7
H Watson
3
Z Fagerson

8
J Dempsey
5
J Gray

1
D Fischetti

2
G Turner

4
S Skinner

1
P Schoeman

2
G Nicotera

4
E Iachizzi

7
M Lamaro (capt)

6
J Ritchie (capt)

3
M Riccioni
5
F Ruzza

8
L Cannone

P Garbisi 10
9
A Fusco
T Menoncello 12
13 JI Brex
11
15
S Gesi
T Allan

6
S Negri

14
P Bruno

Italy
REPLACEMENTS
Scotland: 16 E Ashman 17 R Sutherland 18 WP Nel
19 S Cummings 20 M Fagerson 21 A Price 22 B Healy
23 C Redpath
Italy: 16 M Manfredi 17 F Zani 18 P Ceccarelli
19 N Cannone 20 G Pettinelli 21 M Zuliani 22 A Garbisi
23 L Morisi.

Italy have lost all four of their
matches but Ritchie is adamant
they will be a dangerous opponent:
“They’ll be frustrated that they’ve
played a lot of really good rugby and
run a couple of good teams close but
not converted that into results.”

102

SPORT

SIX NATIONS

IRELAND v ENGLAND

How green
machine
found top
gear again
Irish look to claim first Grand Slam
in Dublin with World Cup in mind
Hugh
Godwin
RUGBY UNION
CORRESPONDENT

As tens of thousands of people
packed the streets of Dublin yesterday, the skies were grey and rain
fell on their St Patrick’s Day parade.
They are used to that all right, but
the feeling of Ireland’s rugby team
being ranked No 1 in the world is
something new, and with their top
province Leinster leading the way in
the URC and competing hard in the
Champions Cup every season, too,
it is surely the envy of England, who
will aim to deny the green machine
the Six Nations Grand Slam today.
The Ireland squad’s families, 80
relatives of all ages, were invited into
the eve-of-match training run at the
Aviva Stadium yesterday morning.
“It’s always a nice touch for the kids

It made no sense to
me not to work with
the clubs closely on a
shared philosophy –
of how England were
going to try and play

to come in and see what dad does,”
said Mike Catt, the Ireland backs
coach who formerly played for and
coached England. “They’re all off
school for St Patrick’s Day, so it’s fallen nicely.” But Catt made it clear the
mood was one of celebration – not
triumphalism. Everyone who has
laid the foundations of this success
have their eyes on the World Cup six
months away, knowing Ireland have
a dire record of never going beyond
the quarter-finals.
Still, it is well worth understanding how they got here. “Luck and expertise and experience,” is how Peter
Boyle, an Irish Rugby Football Union
(IRFU) committee member during
the crucial transitional days after
rugby went open in 1995, describes
it. Boyle helped draw up the first
player contracts of around £20,000.
“Ireland would have gone into professionalism kicking and screaming,” he recalls, “but the quality of
people in the IRFU was high. They
were people successful in business,
not just people who loved rugby.”
The IRFU looked at what other
countries were doing. They blocked
the bid by Garryowen, one of the
leading clubs in the All-Ireland
League, to take part in the then new
European Cup. Instead they marshalled limited resources into the
next level up: the provinces Leinster,
Munster, Ulster and Connacht, who
had a ready-made historical back
story, and home stadiums. Munster
and Ulster won three European

GOING GREEN
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT TODAY’S SIX NATIONS FINALE
RESULTS

HOW THEY STAND

W D L

F

A

1 Ireland

4 0 0 122 56 3 19 +66

2 France

3 0 1 133 87 3 15 +46

3 Scotland 2 0 2 92 84 2 10
4 England 2 0 2 84 106 2 10
5 Wales

1 0 3 56 106 1

5

6 Italy

0 0 4 75 123 1

1

Owen Farrell has backed Henry
Arundell to impress on his first start
for England in the feverish atmosphere of Dublin’s Aviva Stadium,
where hosts Ireland are going for the
Six Nations and Farrell’s side will be
desperate to restore pride after the
hammering by France.

ROUND 3

ROUND 4

Italy 20-34 Ireland
Wales 10-20 England
France 32-21 Scotland

Italy 17-29 Wales
England 10-53 France
Scotland 7-22 Ireland

ROUND 5 ALL TIMES GMT

Scotland v Italy (12.30pm, BBC)
France v Wales (2.45pm, ITV)

IRELAND

13 England

5pm, ITV

ENGLAND

12 Wales

HEAD-TO-HEAD

All competitions

10 France

Draws

1997
England’s biggest win
over Ireland in Dublin,
a 46-6 victory

3 Ireland
(1948, 2009, 2018)

8

2007
Ireland’s biggest win
over England in Dublin,
a 43-13 success

3 Scotland

551

LOSING IT
England are seeking to avoid a losing Six
Nations record for the fourth time in six years

2018 2 Wins

Ireland
wins

139

matches

3 Losses

2019 3 Wins

1Draw 1 Loss

2020 4 Wins

1 Loss

2021 2 Wins

3 Losses

2022 2 Wins

3 Losses

2023 2 Wins

2 Losses

2011

So far

Cups between 1999 and 2008; Leinster built more gradually under
Mick Dawson, the chief executive.
“Mick got the whole of Leinster involved,” says Boyle. “They created
an academy system to go with the
existing, strong schools system.”
Quality players from abroad – Isa
Nacewa, Brad Thorn, Rocky Elsom
– set Leinster on the road to four
European Cup titles, and their successors Mack Hansen, James Lowe,
Bundee Aki and Jamison GibsonPark are in this weekend’s Ireland

but now the hottest prospect in the
English game must help to hold off
an Irish team on a run of nine wins.
“People who do it at club rugby
week in, week out don’t always find
it as easy to do when they come
into the Test team and in training,”
Farrell, the England captain
restored in place of Marcus Smith,
said of Arundell. “It seems like every

80
80

England
wins

MACK
HANSEN
IRELAND

GRAPHIC: BRETT DIETRICH
RESEARCH: JAMES MARINER

England have not lost
three successive matches
to Ireland in 12 years

‘Electric’ Arundell backed to hit
the ground running in Dublin
Arundell (right), 20, burst on to
the scene with spectacular tries for
England’s under-20s and London
Irish last season, finishing as the
­Premiership’s young player of the
year. He put another exhilarating
score past Australia last July in the
first of his six Test appearances, all
from the bench.
Injury intervened in the autumn

ROUND 2

Wales 10-34 Ireland
Ireland 32-19 France
England 23-29 Scotland Scotland 35-7 Wales
Italy 24-29 France
England 31-14 Italy

TODAY’S FIXTURES

MOST NATIONS GRAND SLAMS

ENGLAND

By Hugh Godwin

ROUND 1

B Pts PD

1987

team. Standards were set early on
by Keith Wood, the hooker, and the
great centre Brian O’Driscoll. The
fly-half Johnny Sexton is about to become the Six Nations’ record points
scorer; the flanker Josh van der Flier
was 2022’s world player of the year.
Then there are the foreign coaches, including four who in a crucial
twist were sacked by England after
the 2015 World Cup failure: Ireland’s
head coach Andy Farrell, Catt, Graham Rowntree at Munster and Leinster’s Stuart Lancaster. The days of

time he touches the ball
people expect him to do
something good, and he
doesn’t normally disappoint. So we’re looking
forward to trying to get
him into the game.”
The former England
wing David Trick built
an after-dinner
speaking career
around his experience of catching – or
rather, failing to
catch – a high ball
at the old Lansdowne
Road on his debut in 1983.
Trick only played once more for
his country.

England have finished with
a negative points difference
once in 36 years (-9 in 2021)

Warren Gatland coaching Ireland
were lean in results but he blooded
several stars of the next decade.
Lancaster, in his seventh and last
season as Leinster boss after leading
England from 2012 to 2015, says Ireland’s “all in it together” philosophy
differs from that of his homeland.
“There is a genuine desire in Ireland for the provincial teams to help,”
Lancaster tells i. “Obviously it’s more
complex in England, where there are
more clubs, and fewer contractual
agreements, whereas the Irish have

But England flanker Lewis
Ludlam is also confident in
­Arundell’s capability. “He is
­electric,” he said. “I remember
one of the first training
sessions, pre-Australia.
He was running and
I thought, ‘oh, I’ve
got him’, and then he
properly just took
off. I’ve never seen
anyone take off like
that in the flesh. He’s
a freak in terms of his
speed, but he’s got
a great head on his
shoulders as well.”
At the other end
of the scale, prop

NEWS
2-37

OPINION
25-30

Ireland
H Keenan
M Hansen
15
14
13 R Henshaw
B Aki 12
J Sexton (capt) 10

P O’Mahony
6

5
J Ryan

2
D Sheehan

1
E Genge
6
L Ludlam

9 J Gibson Park
C Doris
8

J van der Flier
7
3
T Furlong

J Lowe
11

4
R Baird

2
J George
4
M Itoje

1
A Porter
3
K Sinckler

5
D Ribbans

8
A Dombrandt

O Farrell (capt) 10

7
J Willis

9 J van Poortvliet

M Tuilagi 12
13 H Slade
11
H Arundell

England

15
F Steward

14
A Watson

REFEREE J Peyper (SA)
R E PLACE ME NT S
IRELAND
16 R Herring 17 C Healy
18 T O’Toole 19 K Treadwell
20 J Conan 21 C Murray
22 R Byrne 23 J O’Brien

ELLIS
GENGE
ENGLAND

1

Ireland have only lost to
England once in their last
four meetings in Dublin

32

got central contracting. And there
are 21 Leinster players in the Ireland
squad – there aren’t 21 players from
one club in the England squad.”
Lancaster tried to close the gap
between club and country in England. “I think it’s the only way for
England to be successful,” he says. “I
would do directors-of-rugby meetings and show what we’d learned
from something like the New Zealand tour of 2014. It made no sense to
me, really, not to work with the clubs
closely on a shared philosophy – not

Dan Cole is poised for his 100th
England cap from the bench.
And there was some familial fun
surrounding Farrell and his father,
Andy, the Ireland head coach, who
welcomed his grandsons – Owen’s
sons – Tommy and Freddie to
training yesterday.
The boys are aged four and two,
so it is early days to declare any
national allegiance. “They’re a bit
young yet; they’re just doing as
their granddad’s told them to,” said
Owen, who did not know about the
training invitation, as England had
their stadium run three hours after
Ireland’s. “They’re staying at their
granddad’s house, so I guess it’s his
rules this weekend, so far.”

ENGLAND
16 J Walker
17 M Vunipola
18 D Cole
19 N Isiekwe
20 B Curry
21 A Mitchell
22 M Smith
23 J Marchant

Points scored by Ireland
in each of their last two
matches against England

in terms of shaping the way they
play, but their understanding of how
England were going to try and play.”
It hasn’t all been smooth for Ireland. Farrell was under pressure for
his job two years ago, and eased it
with a win over, guess who, England.
The Irish went on to a first series
win in New Zealand, in 2022, and
now eye their fourth Grand Slam of
all time, and the first to be sealed in
Dublin’s fair city.
“You do have to blink sometimes
to take it all in,” says Boyle.

He revealed the boys both possess
Ireland and England jerseys, so
which would they be wearing for the
match? “They came over yesterday
on the ferry,” Owen said. “He [Andy]
is not there – they are staying with
my mum. I assume they will be
wearing England jerseys but I see
they are trying to sway him.”
A more serious line over England
righting the wrongs of the record
home defeat, 53-10 by France, came
from hooker Jamie George: “We’re
a team that prides ourselves on
physicality and that’s probably why
it hurt as much as it did.
“We’re very clear about why and
we’re also very clear that it can
never happen again.”

LIFE
41-75

PUZZLES
47-52

TV
54-67

TRAVEL
71-75

MONEY
79-83

SPORT
90-104

SATURDAY
18 MARCH 2023

103

Who needs what to win the title
IRELAND

Victory would secure a Grand Slam.
A draw would also do. Defeat but
securing two losing bonus points
would be enough, as would a onepoint defeat if they also maintain
their points difference lead over
France, or a no-point defeat if
France fail to get a bonus and fail to
close the points deficit.

FRANCE

Must beat Wales. A win in Paris
without a bonus would mean
they need Ireland to lose without
a bonus and concede their points
lead (which is 20 points over
France). Winning with a bonus
and by more than 20 points would
leave Ireland needing two points
against England.

THE OTHERS

England could mathematically
finish second – if they secure a
bonus-point win over Ireland,
overturn the 68-point deficit to
France, hope that Les Bleus lose
to Wales and Scotland fall to Italy.
Scotland can finish second, in a
slightly more likely scenario. Wales
can dream of fourth.

Slip

VIEIRA
SACKED

SIX NATIONS FINALE

Palace left with no
option but to remove
popular manager
after dismal run

Sport

P96

inews.co.uk/sport
iPaperSport
@iPaperSport

FORMULA ONE

Aston
thriller
The secrets of
Alonso’s fast start
to the season.
By Kevin Garside

P100

DUBLIN READY TO ROAR
Ireland holds its breath with Grand Slam on the line

P102

Qataris
ramp up
United
bid battle
By Mark Douglas

The Qatari bidders for Manchester United are preparing to table a second and
even third offer for the club as rival bidder Sir Jim Ratcliffe spent a “positive”
day at Old Trafford with his Ineos team.
After 48 hours of meetings, the
­resolve of both would-be owners to get
their hands on Manchester United has
hardened and that will have encouraged
the Glazers they can rake in close to
their £6bn price tag for the club.
Qatari banker Sheikh Jassim bin
Hamad Al Thani has emerged as the
early front runner and i has learned that
his team is prepared to negotiate with
Manchester United to table several bids
in the coming weeks, with the aim of finding a valuation that satisfies all parties.
A second offer – based on 10 hours of
“constructive and productive” meetings
between Al Thani’s experts and representatives from Raine bank and United
on Thursday – is due within days and is
not a “take it or leave it” proposition.

Al Thani’s team hope it will be enough
to secure exclusivity in the next 10 to
14 days, which would pave the way for
more detailed due diligence.
While some reports have put a number on the revised Qatari bid, US sources
have indicated to i that the size of the
offer will be based on this week’s presentations and depend on their expert’s view
of “what the numbers look like”. There
is no guarantee it will be improved from
the indicative bid of £4.5bn tabled last
month but sources admit it is likely.
Ratcliffe’s Ineos will also table a second
bid after the billionaire himself attended
a day of meetings yesterday. He was introduced to Erik Ten Hag and given a
tour of the training ground in a sign of
how invested he is in the takeover.
There are other groups interested
in buying into the club who have been
hosted at Old Trafford this week but the
two publicly declared bids are understood to have the most financial muscle.
Analysis, P97

P92

CHELTENHAM GOLD CUP

Galopin makes it a glorious
St Patrick’s Day for Mullins
Willie Mullins might have won
just about everything in racing
– but the most successful
trainer in Festival history
admitted to feeling a level of
pressure he had never previously experienced ahead of
Galopin Des Champs’ victory
in the Cheltenham Gold Cup.
“I think what stands out
is the pressure I put myself

under. I was surprised
­actually coming to the thirdlast how much I started to feel
it,” he said.
“When he went through
the third-last and I saw Paul
[Townend] back on the bridle
again I thought, ‘wow, this
could happen’, and I was
amazed how much it meant to
me. I didn’t think it would.”